Gorgeous Geek l Xxv

7/28/2019 Gorgeous Geek l Xxv

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Gorgeous GeekChapter LXXV: Confession and Individuality

Chapter LXXV: Confession and Individuality

Yo Rin-chan!

At the sight of the grinning Korean boy approaching her, Rin scowled and said,Please don't call me 'Rin-chan'!

But Jin calls you that all the time, said Bo, confused.Only Jin is allowed to call me that!Bo rubbed his chin and followed her down the hallway. What should I call you then?'Rin Hamada', like everyone else, is fine, said Rin, exasperated.You don't like me, do you? asked Bo, amused.Rin tossed him a glare. You think?What have I done to deserve this hatred? asked Bo, feigning sadness.I told you this a million times already, said Rin, grouchy. I don't want you to join

our group. I don't need anyone other than Jin in my life.How close-minded, Rin-chan!I know Jin just wants a video game buddy he can talk to, but, said Rin, wrapping

her arms in front of her chest. This has nothing to do with me! Why should I have to hangout with you? Why should I have to endure you?

That's not very nice, Rin-chan.Stop calling me that, and I'm not a very nice person!Bo widened his grin. But you are nice.No.You're friends with Jin so...Rin sighed. Jin's niceness is to make up for my lack thereof.

Nice to stare at, then, said Bo, dodging Rin's kick. Your personality can use somework though, tiny Hime.Rin scurried away. My name is not 'Hime' either!She's so cute when she's mad, said Bo to himself, leaving her alone.In his sophomore year, Bo had always thought of himself as a lucky person. First of

all, he had been able to meet his best friend Stan, who was an upperclassman who adoredhim. He and Stan would hang out during nutrition and lunch and sometimes afterschool.Thanks to Stan's influence, Bo hadn't need to get himself involved in the turmoils of theschool. Popularity and social pressure were not something that bothered Bo.

But with the passing of time, as Stan became even more popular, Bo and the rest ofthe Korean boys who hung out with Stan saw less and less of the older boy. In the middle of

all this, Bo happened to meet a very bright and nice boy in his gamer's club. Even thoughJin Song was only a freshman, everyone in the club quickly became attached to him. Notonly did he know so much video game trivia, he was so sweet that all the upperclassmenwanted to talk to and befriend him, but it was Bo who became best friends with Jin in theclub.

Rin-chan is always so close-minded, said Jin, sighing to Bo. She refuses to makefriends with any of her classmates because she thinks they're all idiotic.

Bo nodded. I see.But I want her to make new friends, said Jin with a sweet smile. It's high school.


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Before she goes off to Harvard, she should at least know what it's like to have a couple offemale friends to talk to and a second best friend.

That's a splendid idea, Jin.Jin stared at Bo with a determined look on his face. Bo, you're a football player,

aren't you?I'm not on Varsity or anything, said Bo, grinning. And I don't hang around with the

other jocks either. I'm like a wannabe football player.That's fine, said Jin, happy. You should be friends with Rin-chan!Is she hot?Jin blinked. I don't know. I never really thought about it.How long have you known her again? asked Bo curiously.I've known her since elementary school... said Jin slowly, as if unsure.Bo chuckled at Jin's face. It's no wonder you don't know, Jin!Even if she's not hot, said Jin carefully. You should be friends with her anyway.If she's a girl, I'll be friends with her, no problem, said Bo, exchanging a friendly

smile with Jin, who was thrilled now. You can count on me.You should hang out with us too!

At that suggestion, Bo elevated his eyes and thought about it, But I'm already with agroup of friends...Oh, said Jin, disappointed. That's too bad.Hm?If you agree to join the group, we'll be JinRinBo! Doesn't that sound awesome?Bo laughed out loud, I didn't even agree yet and you already made up a name!It's because 'JinRinBo' sounds too catchy to pass up, said Jin, stubborn. Bo

continued to laugh at the other boy. You should think about it, Bo. At least, if you can't bewith us, you can protect Rin-chan.

Confused, Bo asked, Protect her? Why does she need protecting?I don't remember why, said Jin, looking down. But Rin-chan had a stalker before

back in junior high. A boy was so in love with her that he followed her everywhere. Bolistened and nodded. I don't want that to happen to her in high school too... I mean, I'll bethere to protect her too, but I'm not physically as strong as you, Bo. You're a football playerafter all.

Bo released a heavy sigh and sat back in his seat. What if I fall in love with her andbecome the stalker? What will you do then, Jin?

Why would you like Rin-chan? asked Jin, oblivious.Bo shook his head, amused. Forget it, Jin! You'll understand one day when you

become a real man!"Er... okay..." said Jin awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. Then, he

brightened up and ran over to the television, "Hey! Who wants to play eight-way

Bomberman?"After Jin's suggestion, Bo managed to encounter Rin many times after their initial

introduction. Every single time he wavered between the two groups, he would rememberRin's serious expressions and laugh to himself. The choice was obvious since she was theonly thing on his mind. He was going to go with his heart after all. There was no stoppingthese feelings.

****************************************************************Yo Bobby.Lil grinned and greeted Bo on his way out from the boys' locker room. Much to Lil's


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surprise, Bo was still dressed in his football uniform out in the rain. Lil thought he saw Boinside the boys' locker room, changing like him. He must have been seeing things again,which wouldn't be the first time. Going up to Bo, Lil noticed that Bo had begun to dopushups in the rain. Lil frowned and checked the time on his cell phone.

Yo, said Bo in return to his previous greeting.You heading home any time soon, Bobby?

Bo stopped and grinned up at Lil. You go on ahead without me.What's up with you? asked Lil, suspicious.Out of Varsity, I'm the smallest and the weakest, said Bo, returning to his pushups.

I need to work extra hard to catch up.What's with this sudden motivation, Bobby? asked Lil, frowning.Because I love this girl and my sister.Lil backed away and said quickly, Forget I asked anything! Later Bobby.After Lil ran away in a hurry, Bo chuckled to himself and continued for his ninetieth

push-up. Lil was like that. He never wanted to talk about serious, complicated subjects likelove or family. Bo knew that if he said something like that, Lil wouldn't stick around toquestion his motives, but at the same time, there was a lot of truth behind those words. Bo

took a deep breath and quickly sat up to start with his sit-ups.I need to build my endurance, thought Bo to himself. I need to improve. I need toask Fi-Fi to do something for me.

****************************************************************Standing outside a locked door, Jordan was dumbstruck by what was happening

before his eyes. Once he opened the front door for Rin, she threw off her shoes and ran upthe stairs. Jordan quickly went after her and found the door locked. Inside, he could hearRin sobbing loudly to herself and cursing herself. Moreover, he began to hear loud crashingnoises on the other side.

Ri-chan! said Jordan, banging on the door. Open the door this instant!Go away!

Let me in!Rin cried loudly to herself and shouted, No! I don't want you to see me like this!I've seen your crying face so many times now, said Jordan, frowning.But not my tantrums!While Rin destroyed her room, Jordan sat against the door with his head on top of his

knees. Jordan thought that maybe after a while, Rin would calm down and he would tryagain to ask her to unlock the door. In the meantime, he had to be patient with her. It musthave been heartbreaking for her to see Kristian with another girl in front of her so soonafter their break up. He couldn't protect her in time. In addition, Rin didn't like rainy daysso that might have been the reason behind her behavior.

In the middle of his waiting, Jordan heard his phone vibrate in his pocket. Quickly, he

checked to find a message from Victoria. She wondered whether she could see him soon. Ather message, Jordan thought about how her house was broken at certain areas. Sheprobably needed someone to help fix the roof. Jordan was about to send his reply when hethought about Rin.

Hey Ri-chan, said Jordan, knocking on the door. It had been too quiet on the otherside. Do you mind if I go out to see someone?

Patiently, Jordan waited for a response for the next five minutes. Since Rin seemedto have calmed down and stopped breaking things in her room, Jordan thought it was fineto leave her alone. Jordan checked the time and promised himself he would be back before


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dinnertime. Quickly, Jordan dropped off his backpack and ran down the stairs. Once he shutthe door behind him, Rin left her room and noticed his backpack. She picked it up and putit inside before she locked the door again.

Get a grip of yourself, thought Rin, sulking in her usual corner. You're supposed tonot let him affect you anymore. Rin teared up at her own words. The image of Kristian andTiffany together kept coming back to her. I lied, Jordan. I can't be strong.

Since Victoria lived close to the school, it didn't take Jordan long to arrive at herhouse. Jordan knocked and called out her name loudly. It took her a few minutes to answerthe door. At the sight of Victoria in worn out jumpers, Jordan pulled her into a tightembrace. Victoria was surprised, at first, and then embraced back.

Jordan...How many days have passed since you ate real food?After pulling away from him, Victoria lowered her eyes. I don't know...I'll buy you anything you want to eat and bring it back here, said Jordan, glancing

over his shoulder at the rain.Anything is fine, said Victoria weakly.Jordan smiled softly at her. Once I'm back, let's talk. I want to know what is going

on. I want to hear your story, Vic.I'm like so sorry about calling you out like this...It's fine, said Jordan gently. We're friends, Vic.Does Rin Hamada know you're here? asked Victoria, feeling guilty.No worries about that. Ri-chan's not like that. She doesn't get jealous over me.I see...I'm off now, said Jordan, opening the umbrella. I'll be back.Victoria blushed and said, I'll be waiting.After Jordan hurried off her front yard and into his car, Jordan thought about Victoria

again. He wanted that hug to last longer. It finally dawned on him, seeing her like this, howmuch he wanted to be there for her. Jordan knew that he pitied more than loved Victoria,

but they had been together for a long time now. It was hard to just ignore her in her timeof need like this. Lately, she had been acting so strong that Jordan forgot that she was stillgrowing up and going through hard times. He shouldn't have allowed her cheerful smiles inschool fool him. Feeling horrible, Jordan drove off to buy takeout at a Chinese restaurant.

***********************************************This is your house, Fi?Jin was in awe at the sight of a mansion in front of him. Jezebelle unlocked the door

and led them both inside. They were both soaked from top to bottom, even after sitting inthe car for a while to get here. While Jezebelle turned on the heater, Jin checked hissurroundings to find a mostly empty house. There were a couple of furniture leftover, butthat was about it.

Fi, said Jin after Jezebelle came back. Is no one else here?Not a soul, said Jezebelle, shrugging. Who cares.Is that why your father left you in our care?Jezebelle shrugged again. It doesn't matter. You want to take a bath together?Jin blushed. You know that's out of the question!Lame, said Jezebelle, taking off her shirt and dropping it on the ground. She

headed upstairs. If you don't come, I'm never going to speak to you again.Knowing that Jezebelle wasn't joking around, Jin carried her shirt and walked slowly

up the stairs to see her. He had been inside this mansion before. Every year, there was a


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party for everyone who worked in the company. A couple of times the party was held here.But out of all those times, he couldn't remember meeting Jezebelle here. Had she beenhiding in her room? Was she away?

Like Jin expected, the bathroom door was unlocked. Jin sighed and placed her shirtdown on a chair nearby. He was about to enter and ask Jezebelle for a third option whenhis cell phone started ringing. Relieved at a distraction, Jin picked up his cell phone quickly

and asked for person on the other line.Since it was taking Jin a long time, Jezebelle poked her head out of the door tocheck. She noticed that he was standing there with his back to the door and talking tosomeone on the phone. Jezebelle thought about what happened earlier. Even after whatthey had gone through, Jin was still as pure as always. It bugged her to no end.

Fi, I need to go, said Jin the minute he hung up the phone.Are you coming back? asked Jezebelle from behind the door.Jin smiled gently at her. Do you want me to?It doesn't really matter to me, said Jezebelle, lifting a brow. But I need to know

so I can decide whether I should answer the door for the rest of the day.I'll be back, then.

Jezebelle smirked. Okay, okay. I'm going back to my warm bath.After Jezebelle closed the door, Jin went back downstairs in his soaked clothes. Hedidn't mind that he was still wet from top to bottom. He had a strong enough immunesystem so that he wouldn't get sick, unlike someone. Speaking of that someone, Jin wasleaving because Mrs. Wu asked him to take care of Tiffany for a couple of hours before shecame home from work. Jin thought about how many times he had taken care of Tiffany inthe past. It was going to be the same like all those other times. It didn't have any specialmeaning to it. He was going to devote himself to Jezebelle from now on.

Once Jin arrived at Tiffany's house, he used his key to open the front door. SinceTiffany had a key to his house, it was the same with him to her house. The entire house waspitch dark. Jin headed inside the kitchen, turned on the lights, and made soup quickly.

After that, he went inside the bathroom and dried himself off. He noticed that his jacketwas hung behind the door. He smiled to himself and poured a bucket full of water forTiffany. Since he knew where they put all the towels and such, he grabbed a small pink oneand soaked it with water. Then, he squeezed all the water from it.

After Jin was done, he ran upstairs and checked up on Tiffany. She was in bed underher blankets and on her side. Her room was exactly how he remembered it, except with anew silver laptop on her desk. Jin went over to her and placed the pink cloth on top of herforehead. He noticed a yellow post it on her drawer and picked it up. Tiffany was such anorganized person that she would rarely leave a post it lying around like that.

Like Jin thought, the note was from Kristian, saying how he dropped Tiffany off hereand that he had to go to work so he was the one who called Tiffany's mother to call Jin. In

other words, it was a note to him. Jin crumbled the note and pocketed it. Jin didn't knowwhat to feel toward Kristian at this point, but he decided he shouldn't worry about theJapanese boy for now. Tiffany was the one who was sick.

Kristian? asked Tiffany, turning on her back.No, it's me, Tiffany, said Jin, grabbing a chair and sitting by her side.Tiffany couldn't see Jin through the darkness. Jin?Yes, it's Jin.That's impossible, said Tiffany weakly, hiding her head underneath her blanket.

Jin wouldn't be here for me anymore. He already has Jezebelle.


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That's not true, said Jin, devastated. We're still friends.This must be a dream.It's not a dream, Tiffany...Peeking from underneath her blanket, Tiffany smiled sweetly underneath. If I have

really given up on you, Jin, you wouldn't still haunt my dreams.Jin blinked. What? Tiffany? Are you okay?

Can you hold my hand?Sure...Once Jin accepted Tiffany's hands, she tightened her grip on it and teared up. Jin

had never seen Tiffany cry before. It was almost as shocking as Jezebelle crying. Jin wassure Jezebelle didn't know how to cry while Tiffany would refuse to cry in front of otherpeople. At seeing Tiffany so vulnerable, Jin squeezed her hand back. She was only like thisbecause she was sick. Jin was sure of it. The normal Tiffany wouldn't cry like this.

Jin, why do you like her? asked Tiffany, sniffing back tears.Jin felt awkward now. Because I admire her.In what ways?She knows who she is and what she wants to do in life, answered Jin honestly.

Tiffany continued to sniff back tears. I don't even know what I want to do after highschool. I don't know whether I want to go to college or begin working early. I have no cluewhat to do with my life. I feel like this every time I see Fi.

Oh... said Tiffany, glancing away. That's how it is...What's the matter, Tiffany?I understand now, said Tiffany, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. You love

her for the reason I love you.Jin froze. Tiffany?It's all good... said Tiffany, mumbling under the blankets.Er...Silent tears dripped down the corners of her eyes before she cried softly, I don't

want to give up these precious feelings.Your feelings? asked Jin, nervous.I don't care how unrequited they are... I don't ever want to lose them.Jin felt guilty as he looked down at his lap. Tiffany, it must be your cold.Shaking her head, Tiffany moved the blanket off her face and continued softly yet

firmly, I can't believe how lucky I am. I feel special because... Tiffany teared up somemore and gazed at where he should be intently. I love such a special person like you, Jin.

You're special too, Tiffany, said Jin quickly, holding her hand under his chin.Jin, said Tiffany, widening her eyes. You don't see my love as a burden?Not at all, said Jin, trying to sound confident. He was overwhelmed by the

confession, but little by little, he regained his composure. On the contrary... Jin smiled

affectionately at Tiffany. Thank you for your feelings, Tiffany. Thank you very much.Tiffany smiled back. I'm so happy...Dropping her hands, Jin flipped over the cloth on her head and placed his hand on

top of her head with an affectionate look on his face. Tiffany smiled sweetly at him as hesat there in silence, figuring out what to say to her. He had had no idea that Tiffany hadthese feelings for him. Jin couldn't see why someone like Tiffany would like someone likehim. Compared to her, he was younger and less mature. He always thought she was the typeof girl who would like someone like Adrian or someone older.

It must have been hard for you, said Jin slowly, picking every word carefully.


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No... it's not Jin...You don't have to act strong, Tiffany, said Jin, petting her. How can it not be hard

to love someone from afar for that long? I can't even begin to imagine what it must be likeall this time...

I don't think of it that way, said Tiffany calmly, staring up at the ceiling. Jin waitedfor her patiently to continue. I think of it as an unbelievable and rewarding experience.

When someone you like decide to tell you about himself and his conflicts and even lend youhis jacket, it's the best feeling in the world. Tiffany laughed out loud. I was so happy. Ihave never been that happy in my entire life.

Tiffany...And to experience such a feeling... said Tiffany warmly. It's all thanks to you, Jin,

so I should be the one thanking you. Thank you Jin.Jin was overwhelmed with emotions. Tiffany, I'm so sorry...For?For not noticing earlier.Tiffany sighed. What can you do?I don't know, said Jin frankly, removing his hand off her head and staring at it. I

don't even know what to do now. I can't return your feelings, Tiffany. You know that.I don't mind, said Tiffany quickly, blushing and looking away out of embarrassment.As long as you don't reject me or treat me any differently than before, that's more thanenough for me.

Tiffany...I wish I never wake up from this dream, said Tiffany, smiling and grabbing Jin's

hand. She held it against her warm cheek and closed her eyes again. This dream where Jinand I are together... talking like we used to without anyone else... please let it stay thisway.

Tiffany...Yes... said Tiffany in content, closing her eyes.

Waiting for Tiffany to continue, Jin watched her sleeping face. Jin wondered whypeople fall in love with people they shouldn't and why people had no control over theirfeelings. Since Jezebelle was going to leave him in one year, he shouldn't have fallen forher, but inevitably, he did anyways. He couldn't control himself. Logically, Tiffany shouldhave put an end to her feelings since he was already with someone else, but she couldn'tstop herself either. It was the same with everyone around him.

Isn't there a way for everyone to be happy? thought Jin sadly, heading down thestairs to check on the soup.

*******************************************************Sitting outside his grandmother's hospital room by himself, Tristan quickly looked up

from the ground at the shadow of someone towering over him. At sight of Monika in a large,

brown jacket, Tristan greeted her and returned his attention to the ground. Monika rolledher eyes and sat down next to him. They kept their silence for the next couple of minutesuntil Monika turned to Tristan.

Were you, like, expecting someone else? asked Monika warily.Tristan cracked his neck and said, No.You're full of crap.What are you here for? asked Tristan, turning his head to Monika. To pity me? To

visit Gramps? Tristan laughed at the absurdity of his questions. So, what's up, Monika?The leader of the Populars, said Monika slowly, entwining her fingers on her lap.


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Was he here with you yesterday?Who is that again?Monika glared at Tristan. Jin Song.Yeah. What about it?What did you two, like, talk about? asked Monika, narrowing her eyes dangerously.None of your damn business, said Tristan, wrapping his long arms behind his neck.

You fucktard, said Monika, angry. There have been like a bunch of shitty rumorsabout you and him.You just have to bring school into the hospital too? asked Tristan, amused.Monika touched Tristan on the arm. Come back to school, Tristan.Do you want me to come back to school that badly? asked Tristan, leaning toward

her. Monika rolled her eyes at him. You're so disagreeable, Monika. You should at least kissme to convince me.

Monika was not laughing at his comment. Are you coming to school or not?Why? asked Tristan in a solemn voice. I hated school.You're like one of the leaders of the-You don't get why you say that shit, said Tristan, losing his temper. Monika's eyes

widened. She thought that since this was a hospital, Tristan would control himself more.The way those fucking nerds look at me... I despised them all. Tristan lowered his eyes.You don't think I don't know what the fuck they say about me? No matter how much I beatthem up, they won't shut the fuck up.

Who cares, said Monika coldly. They're like at the bottom anyways.Not the Elites.Monika frowned. You really, like, hate those guys, don't you?Those fucking elitists, every fucking one of them, said Tristan, punching his own

hand. They don't even have to worry about anyone badmouthing them.So? asked Monika mercilessly. You have to go back to school sometime.I'm better off without that fucking school and that fucking school is better off

without me, said Tristan, relaxing in his chair. Thanks to his cursing, a couple of nursesglanced in his direction. I'll go back whenever I fucking want, Monika.I don't want to hear that shit, Tristan, said Monika, standing up in front of him now.I know what you really want, Monika, said Tristan, frowning now.What then, retard?These nasty rumors, said Tristan, throwing his head back. They're hurting your

group's reputation so you want me to put an end to them.If you know that, go back to school, bastard.Tristan laughed and shook his head. If he's as ridiculous as the early rumors said, he

should settle it himself.Who? Jin Song?

Nodding his head, Tristan sat up straight again and said, You should too. Youfounded the Populars, Monika. Tristan frowned. You shouldn't let it get fucked up soeasily without doing crap about it.

I am doing crap, said Monika in retort. I came to see you.What the fuck, Monika?What the fuck is wrong with you?Tristan tugged Monika down to him by the arm. Why are you fucking relying on me

to bail you out of this shit hole? Monika glared back at him. What the fuck is the matterwith you, Monika? You're the one who was insane enough to make the Populars and force it


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up to the top of the food chain by your own means. You didn't let anything stop you then.Why the hell now?

Irritated, Monika jerked Tristan's hand away. Because I lost them all.What?Bailey... Frida... Vic... and even that baby Jordan... muttered Monika, keeping her

eyes on the ground. They're against me.

Tristan lifted a brow. That's fucked up. You're lying.Vic is like asking for my help now, said Monika, picking her eyes up and staringsadly at Tristan. But I already know the truth. They don't fucking need me anymore.

Get out of here, Monika, said Tristan, shaking. You're not the girl I'm dating.I hate you, said Monika, turning her back to him.I believed in you, said Tristan, stopping her from walking away. You have some

crazy ambition behind that make-up, Monika. All those people in school don't know shit.They think you're a glamour bitch who shakes some pompoms and cheers some shittyletters. Tristan stared at her shaking back. But you proved them fucking wrong. Everygroup has a foundation and help from upperclassman. You created the Populars and made itto what it is now by yourself. How can you give that up without a fight?

I've been fighting for years, Tristan, said Monika, lowering her head.Try harder! Stop using me for everything! Do you want people to call you an uglybitch again?

Monika's eyes widened at the memory of what had happened back in junior high. Herlong fingers gripped into fists against the side of her legs. What was she doing? Why did shecome here seeking for her boyfriend's help for the sake of her group? Monika clenched herjaw. She never wanted to be called things like 'ugly', 'sheltered', or 'fat' again. By being atthe top and the captain of the cheerleaders, she could treat people how they treated herback then.

Shut up, said Monika, stomping back to Tristan and slapping him across the face.You're an ugly bitch.

Bitch, said Tristan, standing up and dragging Monika by the arm. There was ateasing smile on his face though. Let's go.Where are you taking me, you bastard?To see Gramps.Monika blinked. Your... grandma?Tristan opened the door and said, I told her that my girlfriend is fierce, bitchy, and

hot so I better bring proof. Isn't that right, Monika?Walking in the room, Monika punched Tristan and said, Whatever. Come back to

school soon already!***************************************************

When Jordan returned to Victoria's house, he heard from the other members of the

household that she was sitting on the steps leading to the backyard. Jordan opened thedoor and noticed that she was indeed sitting there with a distant look on her face. Closingthe door softly behind him, Jordan went up to her with the food he just bought a fewminutes ago.

Without facing him, Victoria said, She's gone, Jordan.Who's gone?My mother.There was a short awkward silence between them before Jordan said, I'm sorry.It wasn't your fault, said Victoria sternly, releasing a long breath to watch it in the


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air. There's nothing that can be done.Aren't you going to look for her, Vic? asked Jordan, frowning.Shaking her head, Victoria said, She has made her choice.Why? Why would she leave you?Instead of answering him, Victoria sighed again and patted the spot next to her.

Jordan quickly sat down and watched her face. She looked so grim and serious. Her mother

leaving her must have affected her a lot. Right now, she was simply putting on a strong facefor him.Remember how I would always stay home after we break up? asked Victoria softly.Yeah. Of course.It's because of her, said Victoria, hugging her slender legs against her chest. She

kept her eyes on the rain. She had always hated how I would spend all my time with youand my friends instead of helping out at home for her sake.

I know, said Jordan with a nod. You told me before.You saw me before at Claire's, said Victoria, shifting her attention to his face. I'm

working now. I want to help her as much as possible.Jordan smiled at Victoria. You are working hard.

Blushing slightly, Victoria continued, I thought it would make her happy.It didn't?All that shit about her wanting me to help out was a lousy excuse, said Victoria

bitterly, hugging her knees closer. The reason why she said that was to keep me under hercontrol.

Shit, said Jordan, surprised.We're super poor, Jordan, said Victoria, staring at the wet ground in front of her.

You always have that horrible feeling of not being able to control anything in your life.You, like, grasp at straws, at anything that gives you that feeling of power.

By getting a job and becoming independent, your mother is losing control overyou, said Jordan, understanding now. Victoria sighed again. She feels weak and helpless

right now. Jordan entwined his fingers and kept his eyes there. I understand what shemust be going through right now.Then... said Victoria, releasing her legs and sitting up straight. Will she come

back, Jordan?If she believes that you're independent enough not to need her anymore...Victoria laughed in a tired manner. That's like so not true... because... Victoria

elevated her eyes up at the dark sky. That's my goal.Surprised, Jordan gasped, Seriously?Isn't that what you're trying to do right now, too?And failing at it, said Jordan, thinking about relying on Rin's family for support.You're always like this, said Victoria, pushing Jordan playfully. She smiled for the

first time. Do you like still remember why you keep getting back together with me likeevery time we broke up in the past?

Isn't it because we're best friends?That's what you think, said Victoria, amused.Okay... said Jordan, lost. Then why?It's because you pity me, said Victoria in a calm voice.No...I know it's true, said Victoria, glancing over at Jordan, who had a guilty expression

on his face. You feel sorry for me, Jordan. I can see it in your eyes every time. You can't


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help, but want to be my source of comfort and escape. I believed in you and waited for youto take me away from this hell hole. Victoria laughed miserably to herself. But that's notwhat I want anymore.

Then, said Jordan, pocketing his hand where his cell phone was. Why did yousend me the text message?

I just want to talk to you. Is that so wrong?

Jordan lowered his eyes. Vic...You're like not allowed to pity me anymore, Jordan Greene, said Victoria, scolding.Suddenly, she braced herself to her feet. If you continue doing this, it will only make mefeel bad about myself and... about us.

Seeing Victoria taking a step toward the backyard, Jordan asked quickly, Where areyou going, Vic?

Jin Song once told me that we would run around in the rain together, said Victoria,allowing the rain to fall on her head. Her long blonde hair quickly soaked up the water.Whirling on her feet, Victoria turned to face a gaping Jordan. I can never like ask him todo such a thing for me! What am I to him?

You're insane, Vic, said Jordan, chuckling.

Jordan! It's so cold!Come back here, said Jordan, motioning for her to come back.Shaking her wet head, Victoria said loudly, One day, I'll be a girl that you don't have

to pity anymore. Victoria smiled sweetly. I'll be someone who is more worthy to be lovedby someone like you..

Jordan noticed the forgotten box of food. I don't deserve it...What? cried Victoria from a distance now. What did you say?Since Jordan knew Victoria couldn't hear him, he continued under his breath,

Before, we were the same, Vic. We were so vulnerable and so clingy. We pitied each otherfor our pathetic selves. We blamed life for all our stupid problems.

Victoria flapped her arms from afar. Jordan! Speak up!

If so, then when... said Jordan, feeling heavy at heart. Victoria was running backto him. When did you leave me so far behind?Once Jordan arrived back at Rin's house, he noticed there were no lights inside.

There was definitely no lights turned on inside her bedroom. Jordan raised his hand toknock on the front door when he noticed how dark the entire house looked from the sidewindow. This was when Jordan realized how much of an intruder he was. This wasn't hishome. This wasn't a place he could just come and leave whenever he wanted to. He didn'teven have a key to the house. Moreover, Rin wasn't his emotional support that he couldabuse whenever he wanted. She had her own problems too. Why should he bother her withhis as well?

Feeling guilty, Jordan went back to his car and sat in there for a long time before he

thought of the place where he could sit and think to himself without hurting his back andbutt. Quickly, Jordan drove and thought about Victoria and everyone else around him. Hehad a horrible feeling in his chest. Even though he wanted everyone around him to behappy, why couldn't he get over the fact that Victoria was able to remain strong even afterher mother had left her? She wouldn't even allow Jordan to sympathize with her and takeher away from that house. Thanks to Jin, Victoria was no longer the clingy and tearful girlwho couldn't live without him. Within a second, his motivation for going to college andmaking something of his life vanished. With Victoria the way she was now, she no longerneeded him to marry her and be with her. One by one, Jordan was losing everything again.


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In front of his sister's house, Jordan pulled out his former house key and tried it inthe lock. It worked like old times. Gulping, Jordan entered and went up to his room withouthesitating. Both his sister and his brother-in-law shouldn't be home until a few hours later.Until then, he wanted to stay here in his corner like he used to. When he went inside hisroom, he noticed that nothing was removed. It was the same as he last remembered it.Smiling weakly, Jordan closed the door behind him and walked around his room for a few

seconds.At the corner of his eyes, he noticed something green under his bed. A bottle? Jordanbent down and pulled it out. When Jordan figured out what it was, he accidentally droppedit on the ground again. His heart was beating rapidly. He remembered that day whenRoselle was acting strange in school. Out of nowhere, she broke up with him and said acouple of odd things that was so unlike her. He couldn't take himself to see her afterschoolso instead, he kept himself occupied with something else.

By the end of the memory, Jordan had already rushed downstairs and in front of therefrigerator. He removed a green bottle with the label Heineken on it. It was still full. Ithadn't been opened by his brother-in-law yet. Jordan remembered how addicted he was tothis before he became real friends with Jin this year. The only time he drank it again was

because of his relationship with Roselle.Shaking, Jordan muttered, I can't do anything for anyone anymore now... unless...Jordan closed the refrigerator door and placed the bottle on top of the table. Sitting

on top of his chair before, he turned on his cell phone and called Rin's number. Even if hecouldn't talk to her about his problems, he could try to listen to hers. Remembering Jin'sadvice from a while ago and from his own experience with her, Jordan knew it was best tocomfort her now that she had calmed down from her initial tantrum. Like Jin, he wanted tobe useful. He felt like by being able to protect others, he had a reason to continue enjoyinglife and living to the best of his ability.

But when his cell phone connected to hers, her line was busy.********************************************************

After Rin calmed down and took a quick nap, Rin tried calling Tiffany, but theChinese girl wouldn't pick up. Rin should have expected as much after trying for the thirdtime since Tiffany was sick after all. But more than anything, Rin wanted to know exactlywhat happened between her and Kristian, even if it was nothing. She kept repeating toherself that she wasn't doing this because of Kristian, but because of Tiffany. If they weredating, Rin wanted to know. She felt like it was her business since Tiffany used to help her,Jordan, and Bo in that classroom awhile back. Those were her justifications.

I should just call him, thought Rin, frowning at her cell phone. He always carriesaround his phone... even to work. Rin scrolled down to Kristian's cell phone number andsighed. But he's been ignoring me so isn't it pathetic to call him first for such a simplereason? He's set on not talking to me again... Rin picked her eyes off the cell phone and

shook her head frantically. I shouldn't think like that! That's the reason why we broke up inthe first place! I can't let go of my pride and trust him.

With a shaking hand, Rin called Kristian's number and waited impatiently. Her heartwas beating rapidly. She shouldn't have called him in the first place. It would be soawkward for both of them to talk on the phone. He used to call her every night at ten. Shefound it annoying back then, but now, she was starting to miss it. After a few seconds, Rinreleased a heavy sigh of relief when she heard his voicemail instead of him. She expectedthis so it wasn't surprising. He must have still blocked her from that one time.

It's okay, said Rin, laying her head on her pillow and tearing up. He hates me now.


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I should just accept that.At Kristian's workplace, he headed inside to the lockers since he already switched

with Priscilla in exchange for taking up her shift last time so he could leave his early. Hewas worried about Tiffany and wanted to check up on her. Surely, Jin would have left herside by now to be with either his girlfriend or video games. Inside his locker, Kristian worehis normal clothes and noticed his cell phone on the bottom of the pile of clothes. He was

in trouble last time for trying to text Rin in the middle of work so his boss was strict withhim now. Yawning, Kristian picked it up and checked his missed calls. There was one namethat stood out to him in particular. She called him two minutes ago.

Why am I so happy for? thought Kristian to himself. He closed his cell phone. Itmust be Jordan or someone else using her cell phone. She wouldn't call me.

However, Kristian couldn't ignore the missed call no matter how hard he tried. Hewas too curious and hopeful. There was a slight chance that it might be Rin. Even though hedidn't want to call her back because he wasn't supposed to care anymore, his body,especially his chest, decided otherwise. Before he knew it, he was leaning against hislocker and holding the cell phone against his ear.

Over on Rin's end, she had stopped crying by now. Instead, she was staring at her

computer screen without saying or moving. Out of nowhere, her cell phone started ringing.Rin bolted up to a sitting position. It must be Jordan. Hurriedly, Rin picked up the cellphone, only to see Kristian's number. She just called him! Why was he calling back? Nervous,Rin frantically searched the room, as if the answer was on the wall somewhere. At last, shegave up and held the phone up to her ear with shaking hands. With all her courage, Rinpressed the button to accept his call despite her pounding heart.

Much to her surprise, no one said anything. Was he playing a prank on her?Why isn't he saying anything? thought Rin, panicking.Why didn't she say 'hello'? thought Kristian on the other end anxiously.Of course he wouldn't say anything, thought Rin sadly. He's still mad at me.It's probably Jordan, thought Kristian, still waiting. But then, why would he pick

up my call in the first place? He should have just rejected it. Or maybe he is pulling a fastone on me?What should I do? thought Rin, losing her cool. I don't want to hang up on him...No one is saying anything, thought Kristian, frowning. But if I hang up on her, it

will look like I'm mad at her if it's really her...I can't take this anymore, thought Rin, glancing at how long she had been on the

line. If it's really him, at least I can hear his voice.If it's Jordan, I'll just give him crap, thought Kristian at last. If it's Rin-chan, I'll

just act cool and talk to her like normal.Hi, said Rin timidly.Hey, said Kristian at the same time as Rin.

Rin lost her voice for a few seconds at his single greeting before she mutteredquickly, Am I bothering you? Are you working?

I'm taking an early leave today, said Kristian in a calm voice. Inwardly though, hewas feeling anxious and uncomfortable at talking to Rin over the phone like this again. Ijust finished a few minutes ago.

Oh... said Rin, feeling awkward.Yeah. I can talk. What's up?Blushing, Rin lowered her voice and said, About earlier...Kristian glanced at the door and said, I happened to bump into her and decided to


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take her home since she was sick and everything.Is that all...Releasing a carefree laugh, Kristian answered, Yeah. There's nothing more to it.You're not dating Tiffany, then? asked Rin, picking up her courage.No, said Kristian, licking his lips thoughtfully. I'm with Juliet Heart.Even though Rin knew that Kristian was with someone else, she hadn't really

accepted that fact in her heart. To hear him say it so carelessly and easily, Rin felt awful. Ithurt so much to confront reality. Why did she let him go in the first place? Rin thoughtabout how stupid she was to not be more stubborn at the time. Then again, who was she tohim to stop him from moving on? She was also dating someone else right now too. Still, asselfish as it was to admit, Rin wished that he would wait for her.

Oh... said Rin, speechless.Yeah...You better treat her well, said Rin, gulping.Kristian smiled to himself. I'll try.Well... said Rin, slumping and staring blankly at the blanket. That's all I wanted

to call and talk to you about...

Returning to reality, Kristian stood up straight and remembered how he was supposedto leave here already to visit Tiffany. He was so lost in Rin's voice that he completely forgothow long he had remain in the locker room in the first place. If he were to leave, Rin couldhear the noise of the night club on her end and he really didn't want that.

I see, said Kristian, glancing at the door.Good night, then, said Rin regrettably.Wait.Rin brightened up and asked too quickly for her taste, Yes?I know this is nosy of me, said Kristian carefully. But you don't sound too great.Reddening, Rin muttered, No...What does that 'no' mean? Is it a 'No, I don't sound too great' or a 'No, I'm fine'?

asked Kristian, frowning and worrying about her.I'm just, said Rin, deciding it was best to be honest for once. Really hurt.Did Jordan do something to you?Rin shook her head, though Kristian couldn't see it. No... he's so caring and good to

me. It's... Rin paused and sighed. It's what I saw earlier.Oh... said Kristian, feeling guilty. Well-You don't have to explain it. You already told me. I understand.Kristian was in disbelief what he just heard. You're not going to argue with me?

You've... matured.Rin reddened and said under her breath, No, I haven't...Hey. Don't argue on that point.

I'm sorry.Kristian gaped. What did you just say?I said that I haven't-No, after that.Frustrated, Rin said, You knowwhat I said.That's the first time you ever apologized to me, said Kristian, both bothered and

surprised at this change. Seriously.I know, said Rin, sighing. It's hard for me to apologize to anyone, not just you.Have you ever apologize to Jin? asked Kristian curiously.


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Only when we were kids...I see.Rin hugged herself and continued, But really, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for

everything I've done to you in the past. I realize how mean and coldhearted I was.Sometimes, I would get jealous or mad for such ridiculous reasons. It must have been tiringfor you, Kristian. I understand now why you wouldn't want to be with me.

Taking a deep breath, Kristian tried to take in everything she said to heart and said,It's... okay.No, it's not okay. I'm sorry.Listen, said Kristian, trying to sound stern. You make it sound like you're the only

one at fault here and it makes me feel shitty because I'm not man enough to admit that I'malso crappy at being your boyfriend.

No, I understand, said Rin quickly. I know you're at fault too.Exactly.I'm just saying it for myself though, said Rin under her breath.Kristian sighed. Hey. If you think about it...Yes?

I never apologized before, too, said Kristian, frowning.Rin blinked. Oh... you're right.Chuckling under his breath, Kristian said, We never really apologized to each other

and resolved our problems. Instead, we brushed it off and allowed it to build up over time.What a horrible relationship.

Suddenly, Rin became defensive, No, it's not!What?It's not a horrible relationship, said Rin, mad.But it is.No, it's not!Kristian laughed. Why are you being so defensive?

It's my first time and I really don't regret it, said Rin, hurt. Kristian dropped hishead at her words. So please, don't call it a horrible relationship, Kristian.Fine.I'm sorry if I suddenly sound so weak and wimpy, said Rin slowly. It's because

Jordan is rubbing off on me.Oh, said Kristian, trying to hide his annoyance.He apologizes too much.I see.Rin laughed and said, Why are we still talking? I should have hung up on you ages

ago! Is it my fault?I'm the one who stopped you, said Kristian quietly, breathing in deeply.

Oh right!Rin-chan? asked Kristian, interrupting her.Rin smiled to herself. Yes?I still... said Kristian, glancing away. I still...Still?Thinking it over, Kristian decided not to tell her about his feelings and said instead,

Still feel that I should apologize to you too.No, you don't have to, said Rin, shaking her head over at her end.I apologize, Rin-chan.


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Stunned at his apology, Rin muttered, Apology accepted.I should go home now, said Kristian in a tired voice.Okay. I'll stop bothering you.Kristian managed to smile weakly on his end. Later then, Rin-chan.Both of them waited for the other person to hang up before they told each other to

count and hang up at the same time. Once Rin hung up on Kristian, she began to tear up

again and wiped it quickly away. She hadn't talked to him like this in a long time or whatfelt like a long time. She wasn't expecting to apologize or chat about their relationship, buteverything came out at once. More than ever, she accepted that she still had feelings forKristian. She was unbelievably happy and nervous to talk to him again. At the same timethough, she was disappointed that they had to stop and move on with their current liveswithout one another. In the back of Rin's head, she knew that she and Kristian wouldn't beable to talk like that in school ever again. And this made her depressed again.

Over in Kristian's end, he headed out quietly to his car. He thought about hisconversation with Rin over the phone. Even though it was only a few minutes according tohis phone, Kristian thought it lasted for a very long time. He hadn't talked to Rin sincerelyand seriously since forever. It made him both happy and guilty. Furthermore, Kristian

noticed that Rin was changing so much in a short period of time thanks to their break-upand her current relationship with Jordan. At the thought of Jordan, Kristian felt bitter. Tohim, it was like Jordan was purposely doing everything in his power to mild down his hot-tempered and unreasonable Rin. The more Rin hung out with Jordan the more she wasbecoming like him. Kristian was hurt and he did something he usually wouldn't do.

Rin-chan! said Kristian immediately after stopping in front of Tiffany's house andhearing her pick up his phone call. Rin nearly jumped at his forceful voice. I want to seeyou again.

Rin's eyes widened. Kristian...I want to see you again so badly.I want... to see you too...

Why do I hear a 'but' in that sentence? asked Kristian in a demand.I learned my lesson the last time, said Rin sadly. I don't want to do anythingbehind Jordan's back. I don't want to do anything to hurt Jordan. He's been there for me...he's been so understanding. I can't do it, Kristian.

Kristian dropped his head back. I see...I want to stay faithful to Jordan.I... said Kristian, hesitating. I get it.Even though I don't love Jordan that way, said Rin, shaking from top to bottom in a

sitting position on her bed. I also love Jordan. He's my best friend. I feel like if I doanything to break his heart, he will do something terrible to himself and I'll never forgivemyself if that happens to him.

I'm being selfish again, said Kristian, amused at himself.Kristian, said Rin, lowering her eyes. Can you... wait for me?Kristian sat up straight. What?No, forget it, said Rin quickly. What a selfish thought.Rin-chan?Good night, Kristian.This time, Rin quickly hung up and curled herself into a ball under her sheets. She

basically rejected to see the person she wanted to see the most even though she knew howmuch courage and pride it took for Kristian to say those words to her. It made her


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extremely happy, but she couldn't be lost in those feelings. All this time, she had beendoing such impulsive things to hurt others. She had said such awful words without thinkingbefore too. But not this time. After being with Jordan for this short time period, Rinlearned to think before she talk or act. If she met up with Kristian now, she wouldn't beable to hold back. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to kiss him and tell him that shehad been watching him this entire time. All of that would be at the cost of hurting fragile

Jordan, who had been so kind and selfless to her. In the end of this phone call, she pickedJordan over Kristian. Jordan's well-being was more important than her selfish feelings.This was when Rin threw her blankets over her head and checked the time on her

cell phone. Where was Jordan? He should be back to eat dinner by now. Worried about him,Rin searched for his number on her cell phone. She should at least ask him whether he wascoming back for dinner or not. Waiting patiently for him to pick up unlike Kristian, Rin kepther eyes on the jacket Jordan lent her earlier today. Although the rain was getting toJordan, he managed to live through it for her sake. He was really a good guy.

At last, Jordan picked up and muttered, Y-Yeah?Jordan? asked Rin anxiously.For the next few seconds, Rin heard something hit the ground and then, his phone

hung up without warning. ***********************************************Thinking that it was Tiffany's mother returning home from work early, Jin opened the

door, only to meet Kristian. Although Jin was pleasantly surprised to see the Japanese boy,Kristian seemed to brush the sight of Jin off. He was actually expecting to see Jin still here.Kristian took off his shoes quickly and went up to Jin with a pleasant smirk on his face.

Hey Jin.Hey.You may go now, said Kristian, nodding. I'll take over from here.Oh, okay, said Jin, smiling after Kristian as he passed by. There are some soup

leftover if you like some.

Don't mind if I do, then, said Kristian, starving.I'll leave everything to you, said Jin, opening the front door.Jin, said Kristian loudly, stopping Jin from leaving. Is it true?What's true? asked Jin, confused.That you're trying to change the school system from the inside?Jin blinked. Something like that.Why are you pushing your ideals onto others like that, Jin? asked Kristian with a

hard glint in his eyes. Jin still had a blank look on his face. Have you ever thought thatpeople like me like things the way they are now?

But, said Jin fiercely. Isn't the school system to blame for criticizing you and Rin-chan when you guys first got together?

I manage to deal with it just fine, said Kristian, shrugging it off.Your popularity went down for a while, Kristian.I know that, said Kristian, irked. But I didn't give a damn because I love her. Jin

lowered his eyes, ashamed. What is a couple of stupid rumors to keep me from datingsomeone I like? Everyone else who is afraid to deal with those things shouldn't even botherin the first place and live their lives in fear.

Not everyone is as confident as you, Kristian, said Jin weakly."Well, not everyone is as idealistic as you, but who's keeping track of these things?"

Even though Jin was hurt from Kristian's comment, he refrained from expressing it. "I


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want to change how things are, Kristian.""What for?""For everyone."Kristian licked his lips and shook his head. "Why should you bother? I mean, do they

care for you?" Jin was about to answer when Kristian interrupted, "No, don't answer that. I'llanswer that for you."

"Er...""Who really knows you for who you are?" asked Kristian, lifting a fine brow.Jin thought about it. "Not many...""I've been your game buddy for years and I don't really know you," said Kristian,

shrugging. "All I know is that you're this awesome, nice guy who has a huge video gamecollection and is willing to share it with everyone." Kristian went up to Jin. "Isn't that howeveryone sees you? Isn't that what people think of when they think of you? Not for who youare, but what you can do for them?"

Jin's eyes widened. "Even if that's true-""It is true," said Kristian harshly. "I'm guilty of it too.""Oh..."

"You know that past week when you don't remember much," said Kristian, backingaway from Jin slightly. "I don't think anyone, but maybe Rin-chan noticed that there'ssomething wrong with you. It's as if you're a figure... a higher being people look up to, butdon't really know much or care much about." Jin lowered his eyes. "Isn't it crappy that noone else even notices that you're being weird? Unlike your usual self?"

"That's fine," said Jin under his breath. "It's always been like that.""Always been like that?" asked Kristian, surprised. "You mean this fucked up shit has

been going on for a while?""It doesn't matter," said Jin quickly. "I like being useful." Jin dropped his voice to a

mutter. "It gives me meaning and purpose when I have no idea what else to do with mylife."

Kristian sighed. "That rumor today...""About me and Tristan?""Yeah. That one.""What about it?" asked Jin, confused."Have you ever thought about why someone would spread such a rumor against you?"

asked Kristian solemnly, receiving a negative from Jin. "And why people would suddenlyisolate you and stay away from you when the rumor's not even true?"

"It's because of how the school is," said Jin, raising his voice slightly. "That's why Iwant to change it."

"No, it's not because of the school," said Kristian, staring hard at Jin. "It's because ofhumans in general."

"Humans in general?" asked Jin, lost again."People have a tendency to remember what shit others have done to them and forget

what their friends have done for them," said Kristian, wrapping his arms in front of hischest. "You can help these people all you like Jin, but they'll only be grateful to you for ashort period of time. Eventually, they'll forget and throw you away like they did withJordan. No one even looks his way anymore and I have to say he's been a pretty good leaderthese past few years."

Jin blinked. "What?""You don't know?" asked Kristian, amazed.


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"I was always with Rin-chan and Bo so I didn't pay much attention..." said Jinregrettably.

"Although the Pimp Juice boys did whatever they liked, most jocks didn't bother theunderlings with Jordan in charge," said Kristian, watching Jin's expression. "Jordan mightnot be as nice as you are, but he managed to keep everything in control, probably withMonika and the others to back him up in the background."

"I had no idea," said Jin under his breath."There are always more than one side to a story, Jin," said Kristian, glancing awaywith a regretful look on his face. "I don't understand you at all, Jin. I don't understand whyyou would do so much for a bunch of faceless people when you isolate yourself from yourreal friends." Jin was speechless and kept his eyes down. "I'm glad Wendy help spread thatrumor about you. Maybe then, you'll wake up."

Jin sighed. "I don't want to help them, Kristian. I want to help my friends too.""I know," said Kristian admittedly, returning his attention to Jin. "But there's one

important person you're not helping at all.""Fi?" asked Jin, blinking. "She wants me to be on top and-""No, not Tilly," said Kristian, amused. "She doesn't want your help anyways."

"Then...""Doesn't it hurt to not be yourself for the sake of others?" asked Kristian, observingJin's face closely. "Isn't it lonely at the top? Don't you wish you can just be someone who canhelp his friends and his girlfriend? You're only one person, Jin. What can you do when noone even knows who you really are? Aren't you just being like Jordan all over again? Beingfake to yourself for the sake of others?"

"I need to go see Fi," said Jin, turning his back to Kristian."You should listen to what I have to say," said Kristian, slightly annoyed.Jin smiled weakly to himself. "I will."After Jin closed the door behind him, Kristian turned around and noticed Tiffany

sitting on the bottom of the stairs, "You heard everything, didn't you?"

"Why?" asked Tiffany, shaking. "Why did you say such things to Jin?""I'm only doing what I have to," said Kristian, walking over to Tiffany."Why? Answer me."Kristian smirked. "If I tell you, you'll tell Jin... not that I care because it's not like

he'll choose you over Tilly.""I knew it," said Tiffany, standing up abruptly despite her fever. "It's all Jezebelle's

doing!" Kristian glanced away, not answering. "Why are you siding with her? You're betterthan that, aren't you?"

"Why?" asked Kristian, chuckling to himself. In the back of his head, he recalled hisconversation with Rin with her picking Jordan over him. "It's simple really. I like morepeople on this side."

"Like who?" asked Tiffany, angry now."I don't know..." said Kristian, pretending to think. "Like your two friends?""Eunice too?""Eunice too.""What did you do to her?" asked Tiffany, stomping up to Kristian now."I haven't done anything," said Kristian, taking a step back from Tiffany. "She willingly

joined up since both her best friend and I are on this side..."Tiffany glared at Kristian. "What about that rumor?""What rumor?" asked Kristian, acting innocent.


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"It spread way too quickly," said Tiffany, standing up on her tiptoes to match Kristian."I know it's one ofthem."

"Yeah. It's Jen. So what?"Tiffany gasped. "Then, what you told Jin about Wendy-""A lie," said Kristian, shrugging."Why would you lie?" asked Tiffany in disbelief. "Isn't Wendy Jezebelle's best friend?"

"Tilly doesn't have friends," said Kristian smugly. "She only has followers.""What in the world?" asked Tiffany to herself, more than Kristian. "What did you guysdo with Wendy?"

"Nothing," said Kristian quickly. "We didn't like murder her or something.""What are you guys planning?" asked Tiffany, losing her cool completely."Relax," said Kristian, rubbing her head. "You should go to bed.""I'm telling Jin," said Tiffany fiercely, taking off toward the door. She learned that she

was no match for Kristian's speed, more so because she was sick. Kristian blocked her way."Get out of my way, Kristian.""I didn't tell you all that so you can tell Jin," said Kristian, clearly annoyed."Move."

"Join us," said Kristian, smiling sweetly. "Your friends have already picked the winningside.""No," said Tiffany, stubborn."Tiffy Taffy, I'm warning you as a friend-""You're no friend of mine.""-that you should side with Tilly before it's too late," said Kristian, completely

ignoring her comment. Tiffany shook her head and glared at him. "Jin is on our side. He justdoesn't know it yet. You like Jin, don't you? You're obsessed over him even though he'staken, right? It's not like you'll be opposing him."

"You lied to him!" cried Tiffany furiously. "He's obviously not working with Jezebelle!"Kristian grabbed Tiffany's wrist and forced her toward the stairs. "You're sick. Go to

bed." "No! Let me go!""I'm doing this for your own good," said Kristian over his shoulder.Tiffany kicked and forced herself the opposite direction. "Liar!""Your obsession over Jin is unhealthy," said Kristian darkly, managing to drag her

easily despite her protests and attacks. "You'll only get hurt by liking him. He alreadybelongs to Tilly. He's under her control. You should just accept it and let him go."

"No," said Tiffany, biting Kristian's hand. He jerked back and she fell backwards. Shewas on the floor in tears now. "I'm not doing this because of Jin! I'm doing this because ofmy honor and my promise as the leader of the Asian Gossip Girls. I won't let you wreck thesystem. Only I can wreck the system and let it heal slowly."

"You're a fool," said Kristian, annoyed. "As idealistic as Jin.""I believe in Jin," said Tiffany, breathing heavily now. "Even if he loves Jezebelle, he

won't side with her. He will never do anything he thinks is wrong.""No, you're wrong," said Kristian, lowering himself in front of her. "You're so wrong,

Tiffy Taffy."Glaring at him, Tiffany shouted, "How?""You know that whole conversation you overheard?""What about it?"Glancing at the door once, Kristian smirked again and said, "Tilly told me to say it,"


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Tiffany's eyes widened, "and he reacted exactly how she described to me.""You-""Because we're friends," said Kristian, pulling Tiffany up to her feet. "I'll protect you

from her.""No!""Then, answer me this," said Kristian, leaning toward Tiffany. "Do you think you can

win against herwhen Wendy failed miserably?" Tiffany was speechless. "You should get somesleep and think of your health first before you can do anything for Jin."Without fighting back this time, Tiffany allowed Kristian to lead her back to her

bedroom. Tiffany kept her eyes on the ground instead of Kristian's back. She was probablythe only person outside of Jezebelle's group who learned of the truth and yet, she could donothing about it because she was afraid. What if Jin really pick Jezebelle against her? Moreso because she most likely accidentally told him about her feelings? What if Jin were toreject her now?

As for Kristian, after he dropped Tiffany at her bed, he sat on the edge of her bedand stared at her laptop, lost in thought about how to deal with the situation ahead of him,especially after that phone call.

**************************************************************Jin!Jin nearly threw his cell phone away at Rin's loud, upset tone, but he recovered in

time without any signs of deafness and said, Is that you, Rin-chan?Of course it's me! said Rin quickly. Is Jordan with you?Er, no?What?Looking at the digital clock in his car, Jin said, If you're looking for Jordan, why

don't you call him?I tried that already! said Rin impatiently. Something is wrong on his end!Jin frowned at this news. You don't think he...

No, he wouldn't, said Rin without a doubt. Jin agreed hastily. I don't knowanymore! I can't study at this rate!Calm down, Rin-chan, said Jin calmly, starting the engine to his car. He had to park

when he heard his phone ring earlier. Do you know where Jordan went before he wentmissing?

Rin dropped her head in shame over at her end. ...No.He left without telling you? asked Jin in disbelief.That's not it! shouted Rin, pacing back and forth in her room I was throwing a

tantrum earlier and he might have something, but I was too upset to listen. You don't thinkthat's why he's avoiding me, do you?

I don't know anything right now, said Jin, frustrated. Jin was still thinking about

Kristian said to him earlier. Have you tried texting him instead?You don't think I have? asked Rin, astonished.Why were you throwing a tantrum? Did you two get into a fight?Rin stopped pacing at Jin's question. We're not fighting! I was just being an

emotional mess again! And I locked him out of my room so that he didn't have to see melike that!

I'm sure there's a logical explanation why Jordan is not answering, said Jin,deciding he would risk driving and talking on the phone this one time. He drove out into thestreets. I'll call a couple of his other friends to see if they've heard from him.


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What should I do? asked Rin miserably.Er...I want to make sure that he's safe, said Rin sadly. He's so suicidal.Yeah, I know what you mean.Rin sighed. But I can't drive. If I could drive, I'd look with you.Yeah... said Jin, concentrating on the road.

Can't you pick me up and take me with you? asked Rin hopefully.I don't think that's a good idea, said Jin frankly. You shouldn't be traveling aroundat this hour. It's raining outside and you're usually moody on rainy days, aren't you?

Rin's eyes widened and said softly, Yes...Which explains the tantrum.Oh shut up.Jin managed to release a weak laugh. I'll keep you updated, Rin-chan. Leave it to

me. I'll bring Jordan safely back to you.Thanks Jin.Hey. No need to thank me. We're friends.Rin nodded and said, Jin, you need to take care of yourself too. You can't help

anyone else if you can't help yourself first.At Rin's words, Jin remembered what Kristian said again and muttered, Hey... can Iask you a really off-topic question?

Sure, said Rin, calming down.Jin hesitated before he asked, What do you think others think of me?What people are you talking about? asked Rin bluntly.Like classmates and such.Rin thought about it and then, answered slowly, You're the guy who is willing to

help? Other than that, people know you for your video game obsession, like with T-shirtsand keychains...

I see, said Jin, slightly disappointed.

What's wrong, Jin? asked Rin, knowing Jin's tone too well.I'll get back to you on that, said Jin quickly, thinking of Victoria all of a sudden. Hepromised to hang out with her on the first rainy day a while ago. I'm going to call peopleto figure out where Jordan is.

Rin had a bad taste in her mouth when Jin changed subjects, All right then.I'm driving so...Before Jin could hang up on her, Rin thought of her conversation over the phone with

Kristian and felt guilty toward the missing boy. Rin felt so uncomfortable about her positionas Jordan's girlfriend and Kristian's ex-girlfriend in general. Right now, she should be theone who was doing all the work, not Jin! Why was she always relying on Jin? Was it becauseshe couldn't rely on Bo anymore and Vance wasn't related to Jordan at all? No, that wasn't

it. Even though Jordan and Jin were best friends, there was more to it. It had to do withher constantly abusing Jin's friendship and personality all these years.

I changed my mind! cried Rin, surprising Jin on the other end. Take me with you!But-My parents aren't home, said Rin, shaking. And I'm Jordan's girlfriend so it's my

responsibility to make sure he's safe! I can't sit around here and do nothing! I want to helpyou, Jin!

Jin sighed at Rin's stubbornness. She was always like this. There was no way shewould take no as an answer now. He knew this quite well from their years of friendship.


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Besides, he wanted to talk to her about what was bugging him this entire time.Giving up, Jin said after some hesitation, Dress accordingly, Rin-chan. I'm coming to

pick you up in ten minutes.In the span of fifteen minutes, Jin managed to pick Rin up, asked Victoria for

Jordan's location in which she responded with home, and was well on his way to Jordan'shouse. Even though Victoria meant Rin's house, Jin thought that they might as well give

Jordan's original house a try before they tackled the beach and mall. Much to Jin's surprise,Rin had a determined expression on her face the entire drive. Despite the baby face, Jinthought Rin appeared older than before.

Look Jin! said Rin, pointing at the driveway.Jin followed Rin's finger at Jordan's car parked in front of his house. He must be

here.It must be me again, said Rin suddenly.Turning his attention to Rin, Jin asked, What?I'm always like this, said Rin, laughing pathetically to herself. I overreact too

much. There are a lot of reasons why he suddenly hung up on me. It's not something hugelike him going to school and then, disappearing afterward.

Jin parked his car behind Jordan's. Rin-chan, why are you blaming yourself foreverything now?Without realizing what she was doing, Rin gasped and clapped her mouth. Flustered,

Rin muttered some inaudible words under her hands. Jin shook his head and helped her outof the car. They shared an umbrella and stood in front of Jordan's house. It was Rin whoknocked frantically on the door and called out Jordan's name. Standing next to her, Jin feltnumb, as if all the energy had been sucked out of him.

Jordan is such a mess, said Rin, pushing the door open. He even left the doorunlocked! Let's sneak up on him and scold him for making us worry.

Hey, said Jin, coming back from his daze. We shouldn't trespass.We're not trespassing, said Rin with a wide smile. We'll go in, grab him, and

leave. It won't even take five minutes.Tired, Jin went along with Rin's plans and went inside behind Rin. While Rin ranabout Jordan's house to find him, Jin closed the door behind him. Ever since he had thatconversation with Kristian, there was something wrong with him. He wanted more thananything to go home and sleep, but at the same time, he had to make sure that Rin andJordan stayed out of trouble. But what was with this horrible feeling inside his stomach?

Found him, said Rin enthusiastically, running up to Jin. He's in the kitchen,sleeping.

Jin frowned. Why would he sleep in the kitchen?It took Rin a few seconds to understand. Right after, both of them dashed into the

kitchen and noticed Jordan laying limply against the refrigerator with his cell phone on the

ground next to him. Gasping, Jin hurried checked his pulse with a speechless Rin behindhim. However, after a few seconds of panicking, Jin released a heavy sigh of relief andsmiled sweetly up at Rin, who collapsed on the ground next to Jordan. Nothing was wrongwith Jordan. He was still breathing.

He's been drinking though, said Jin, shaking his head.D-Drinking? asked Rin, gasping.Why? thought Jin to himself. Why do I feel superior for knowing something Rin-

chan doesn't about Jordan?Jin? asked Rin with wide eyes, leaning toward him.


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Oh, said Jin, recovering. Jordan drinks alcohol?Rin nearly dropped her jaw. But it's illegal!He manages to get away with it somehow, said Jin, frowning.You idiot, said Rin, shaking Jordan over and over. Wake up so I can scream at you,

Jordan Greene! Alcohol is bad for you!He stopped recently, said Jin quickly, thinking that he had said something he

shouldn't have to Rin. He's not addicted to it or anything so...Wake up! said Rin, shaking Jordan even harder.Hey Rin-chan, said Jin, interrupting Rin from completely banging Jordan's head

against the refrigerator.Yes Jin? asked Rin, lifting a brow at how serious Jin sounded.If you had to describe me with a couple of words, said Jin, staring straight at Rin.

What are they?Rin glanced down at Jordan, who dropped his head onto her lap, before she returned

her attention to Jin, Let's see...Jin stared at Jordan, Let's say this is for an assignment. It should be easier for you.You're selfless, honorable, simple-minded, said Rin, moving Jordan's head from her

lap to her shoulder. She was thinking for more words. Mature, dramatic, thoughtful, kind,and, Rin paused and glanced at Jin carefully, Well, adjectives don't say much about aperson anyways. What are you looking for specifically, Jin?

Myself, said Jin under his breath.Rin blinked. Yourself?Rin-chan, I'll be honest with you, said Jin, squatting down on the ground.You can tell me anything! said Rin, worried.I can't hear him anymore, said Jin, sighing.Who? Jordan?Jin accidentally laughed at how oblivious Rin was. No, not Jordan.Who else is a 'him' around here? asked Rin, tilting her head.

The voice in my head, said Jin, causing Rin's eyes to widen. You know. The voicethat makes me feel and act competitive during video games and also, tell me to do selfishthings. Rin nodded, dumbfounded. Earlier today, it sounded like Fi. After Fi and I madeup, it went back to sounding like the usual. But right now... Jin held his head in his hands.I can't hear him at all. I can only hear myself.

You should be happy, Jin, said Rin, trying to sound optimistic.I should be happy? asked Jin, confused.Rin bobbed her head. I know you asked Jordan and I to accept your other self, but if

he decides to disappear, it's for the better, isn't it?No, said Jin with wide eyes. Jordan was stirring. He can't just disappear.Huh?

Jin could feel his fingers dig deeper into the skin of his forehead. There's somethingwrong with me.

My head...Rin turned her attention to Jordan immediately and asked, Jordan?Groaning, Jordan opened his eyes and stared at them. He squinted his eyes as if he

needed glasses. But eventually, Jordan gave up and simply shook his head awkwardly withhis eyes closed. Rin was scolding him for drinking under the age of twenty-one. Jordan'shead was hurting so he clapped Rin's mouth shut without warning because her voice wasgetting to him. At last, after a few seconds of silence, Jordan managed to open his eyes.


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The first thing he saw was Jin across from him. Jordan's heart began to pound so much thatit took him a few seconds to recover.

Jin! said Jordan, surprised. Rin-chan!Are you drunk? asked Rin, annoyed.I'm not drunk, said Jordan, receiving a disbelieving look from Rin. Hey! Believe

me! You can test me if you like!

Fine, said Rin, holding up three fingers. How many fingers am I holding up?Three, said Jordan instantly.It still doesn't prove anything!Hey! Not so loud!You are drunk! Only drunk people complain about how loud everything is!Watching his two best friend bickered back and forth, Jin waited for that laughter

that he was so used to in his head to respond. Nothing. He was becoming more and morenervous. Instead of his other voice giving him negative feedback, he was starting to feelthem himself. What was going on? When did this start? Since Jin couldn't take it anymore,he bolted up to his feet. His two friends gawked up at him.

Jin? asked Rin and Jordan at the same time.

Who am I? asked Jin, gasping for breath.Are we being philosophical? asked Jordan, holding his head against his hand forsupport. It was still aching.

There has always been this lingering thought at the back of my head, said Jin,staggering against the counter. The other two stood up quickly. I've been ignoring it for avery long time. My other voice manages to occupy my thoughts long enough to hide it. Jinunderstood at last this uncomfortable feeling he had been feeling this entire time after heleft Tiffany's place. But currently, I remember that thought and it's so clear in my head.

What's up? asked Jordan, sitting up straight.The reason why the school is still like this and why nothing has really changed is

because I lack character to change it.

What? cried Jordan, waking up. You have plenty of those!You're trying to change the school? asked Rin in disbelief.Jordan turned to Rin. You're really slow, you know that.Rin glared at him. You're one to talk.If I really have character, said Jin, continuing on. Then, how come no one noticed

that I wasn't around for all of last week?That's because Fi-Fi covered it up so well, said Rin insistently.Jin stared off into a distant. No, that's not why. It's because compared to their

friends... their cliques... I am just that popular boy. That Jin Song. That boy who is able topull off miracles. People may all know my name, but they distant themselves from me. Idon't know most of them on that personal level like I do with you guys... or Bo... or even

Tiffany...That's how it is to be the most popular boy in school, said Jordan, noticing how

physically upset Rin was at Jin's words. You begin losing your real friends... your realself... and so much more. I should know. I've been there before. I've been through it all.

I want to be there though, said Jin firmly.Jin, were you listening to Jordan at all? asked Rin, angry.Yes, said Jin, nodding. But don't worry. I don't want to now.What 'now'? asked Rin, confused.I understand more than ever why I am unable to change anything about the school


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system, said Jin, keeping his eyes away from his friends. My head has never been thisclear before. It's amazing.

Jin... said Jordan, feeling helpless.I don't even know who I am as an individual, said Jin bitterly, curling his right hand

into a fist to his side. I don't know who Jin Song really is. There are two sides of me withopposing views. I push one aside for the other one and keep it that way for a long time now

until I exploded last week. And now, he's just gone. Vanished.Wait, said Jordan, intervening in Jin's monologue. Are you saying you are lookingfor your identity, Jin?

That's exactly what I'm saying.Rin tossed Jordan a sad look. He told me that earlier too.You can't be serious... said Jordan, stunned. He looked back and forth between Rin

and Jin before he stayed on his best friend. You're Jin though. You're you.Jin tried to stop his fist from shaking to his side. Don't you understand, Jordan? Rin-

chan? Before I can become a leader... or someone who can help everyone else in school...First, I need to find and help myself. Jordan and Rin were speechless now as they sharedthe same shocked expression on their faces. Find out what my personal interests are. Live

for myself and figure out what I want, not what everyone else wants from me.Jin... muttered Jordan in disbelief.What are you saying? asked Rin, gaping.Nothing... it's just.. It's funny, isn't it? asked Jin more to himself than his friends.

He continued to stare off into the distant as if he was searching for something out there.Most people grow up selfish and dependent on their parents. Then, they strive to live fortheir own self-interest. As they mature, they become more selfless and understanding. Theybegin to think ahead and look into their future. Some are better at it than others whileothers never really reach there. Jin released his fist and smiled at it. I'm the opposite ofmost people. I can't even imagine what it must be like to just do everything because I feellike it without pressure from my parents or my peers.

That's because of how you are, Jin, said Rin, shaking her head.I agree, said Jin, looking at her now. It's a huge part of me, but I want to knowthe part of me that wants to run wild... to be free... to live for myself and my ideals. Iwant to throw everything aside and just go with the flow. Jin had a satisfied smile on hisface at the mental image. I want to be that Jin Song. Not the son of the Song family. Notthe most popular boy in school. Not the geek with a video game fetish. Especially not thenice guy everyone knows by name only. I just want to be normal Jin who is able to say, 'I'mdoing it because I want to!'

At last, Rin was brave enough to approach Jin, What has gotten into you? You areone of the few people who are so at ease with himself...

I'm sorry, Rin-chan, said Jin, smiling sadly at her. Jin nodded his head at Jordan,

who was behind Rin. I'm sorry, Jordan. Jin lowered his eyes. But I feel that this isnecessary. This is what I need to do.

My head... said Jordan suddenly, feeling his head throb. He stumbled on theground with Rin by his side, asking for his well-being. I can't drive home like this...

You're not driving at all! said Rin in a scolding voice.My sister will be home any minute though, said Jordan, forcing himself to stand up

by balancing against the nearest wall. I don't want to burden her again with my well-being. She'll be so worried if she hears that I'm resorting to-

Stop it, Jordan, said Jin under his breath.


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Jordan picked his head up at Jin. What did you say, Jin?Why can't you understand that because you keep blaming yourself for every little

thing when it's not even your fault half of the time, Rin-chan is being affected too? askedJin, frowning. She can't stop blaming herself for everything lately.

What? asked Jordan, turning to Rin, who shook her head in denial.It doesn't matter right now, said Rin quickly, helping Jordan up and turning to Jin.

Jin, let's drive Jordan to my house first and then, we'll figure out a way to pick up his carlater.And Rin-chan, said Jin, turning to her. Why can't you understand that you're

constantly pushing responsibilities onto others so thoughtlessly?Jordan held Rin protectively behind him. Jin, I don't know what you're trying to

pull, but you can't talk to Ri-chan that way.No, Jordan, said Rin, stepping up. I want to hear what Jin has to say.Okay, said Jordan, breathing in to keep his cool.I'm sorry, but, said Jin, turning his back to them. I can't help you guys anymore. It

seems like the more I try to help everyone the more everyone rely on me to do everythingfor them. Jin had to hide his face from them to not show how emotional he was right now.

He steadied his voice. I spoiled Rin-chan for years... and now, I'm spoiling Jordan too. Idon't... want to spoil anyone anymore.Without waiting for their response, Jin ran out of the kitchen, hiding his face against

his arm. They didn't chase after him. From what he assumed, Jordan probably couldn't walkcorrectly to follow him. Rin would stay with Jordan because Jordan needed her more.Everything was for the better. He had to get away from them. He couldn't give in totemptation anymore. He couldn't spoil them with his friendship and comfort anymore. Allthis time, he was only hurting them.

Once Jin was in the car, he quickly turned on the engine and drove out quickly in thestreet, nearly hitting a passing car. Jin panted and turned on the windshield wipers. In theback of his head, he kept questioning his actions. Since he drove Rin to Jordan's house, Rin

had no way to get home unless she called her parents to pick her up. He had to go back. Hecouldn't allow either Rin or her parents to be burdened with such a task. Catching himselfin time, Jin shook it off. It was their problem, not his. But since Jordan was not in the beststate of mind, his head reminded him, Jordan couldn't drive them home either. Also, Rinwould have to stay with him in a strange house until her parents picked them up. This wasnot good for them, especially in an unlocked house. Jin shook his head again. No, he wasn'tgoing to go back for that either. They had to learn to take care of themselves. He couldn'tprotect them forever. But what if...

Thankfully, Jin's cell phone began to ring and he quickly picked it up withoutchecking the caller ID, Hello?

You're taking your sweet time.

Jin smiled at the familiar, cold voice. I'm coming.Well, hurry, before I decide to leave you out in the rain, said Jezebelle, pouting on

her end.Okay, said Jin, giving in.That's all, said Jezebelle, hanging up without another word.Not long after the phone call, Jin was back at Jezebelle's house. He thought about

everything that happened today. Today was a long day, indeed. His emotions were all overthe place. He had never felt this much in a single day before. And for whatever reason, hewas glad for it. Taking in a deep breath and thinking about his resolve, Jin knocked on the


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door and waited patiently for Jezebelle to answer.Eventually, Jezebelle opened the door, wearing a black nightgown with a long, black

coat over it. Jezebelle lifted a brow at the sight of a soaked Jin. When he left her placeearlier, he had her umbrella with him. What happened to it? Breaking through her thoughts,Jin laughed and closed the door behind him.

I'm surprised, said Jezebelle in a tone that suggested anything but surprise. It's

late. Shouldn't you head back before your father come home from work?Jin grinned and tackled her into a tight, wet embrace. I don't care.Annoyed, Jezebelle pushed him away and said, Are you trying to kill both of us?Maybe, said Jin in a cheerful tone. He couldn't hide his excitement to see her

again. I should take that hot bath you suggested earlier.You say that afteryou wet me?Jin tilted his head. We can take one together.Walking up the stairs together, Jezebelle cried, What the fuck happened to you?In the bath together with hot water up to their neck, Jin smiled at Jezebelle sweetly

and helped her shampoo her hair. There was only one person in the world right now that hewould do anything for without hesitation. Without loathing himself. Without hearing weird

voices in his head. Without asking for anything in return. Without questioning his ownactions and thoughts.This was Jin's definition of love and he believed at the time that it was truly

something special. A love that showed off his purest and truest self. Jezebelle was all heneeded to be himself.

****************************************************Don't leave me, Ri-chan, said Jordan, curling into a ball under his sheets.I won't, said Rin, standing by the door. I'll talk to your sister and brother-in-law

about what happened.Jordan smiled weakly from the bed. Thanks and I'm sorry.You don't have to thank me, said Rin, opening the door and looking out. It's my

job to protect you.It's not your job, said Jordan sadly. It should be mine.We'll talk about this later, said Rin decisively, feeling anxious. I'll be right back.After helping Jordan into his room and onto his bed, Rin jumped two steps at a time

down the stairs and out the door to see if Jin had returned yet. There was no sign of his caror him. Rin frowned. Was Jin really going to leave her to stay all alone at Jordan's house?What if something happened to her?

Sighing, Rin headed back inside. On her way up to check up on Jordan again, Rinnoticed the umbrella she shared with Jin earlier next to her pair of shoes.

Gorgeous Geek l Xxv

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