Gorgeous Geek Lx i x

7/28/2019 Gorgeous Geek Lx i x

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Gorgeous GeekChapter LXIX: Will and Willpower

Chapter LXIX: Will and Willpower

Even though Jennifer and Eunice were no longer a part of the Asian Gossip Girls, they

hung out at the mall like they always had before. Unlike all those other times, Tiffanywasn't there with them. Jennifer preferred it that way, but Eunice was disappointed thatthey couldn't even see each other outside of school as friends.

It was hard work anyways, said Jennifer, putting down her sandwich.

I like being an Asian Gossip Girl, though, said Eunice, tilting her head. Sure, it washard work with collecting data and running around to spread rumors and stuff, but we hadeach other and everyone benefited from our work.

You're too much, Eunie, said Jennifer, waving it off. Anyways, guess who I talkedto on Friday?

Who? asked Eunice, excited.

Of all people, said Jennifer, shaking her head. Jezebelle talked to me.

Eunice's jaw dropped. What?She's actually not that bad, said Jennifer, causing Eunice's eyes to widen further. I

mean it! Maybe we've been blinded by whatever Tiffy tells us! She tells us that Kristian isbad and we should stay away from him. Eunice bobbed her head. She tells us thatJezebelle is the reincarnation of evil and we listen to her without thinking for ourselves.

I guess... said Eunice, torn.

Jezebelle, she's, said Jennifer, pausing to find the right words to say. She'sclever.

I thought we know that already, said Eunice, trailing off.

She's clever in a good way, said Jennifer, clarifying.Eunice frowned. What did she tell you?

"She says that even though I'm not an Asian Gossip Girl anymore, I should still put mypowers to use. It's wasteful otherwise."

"What..." said Eunice to herself."She's right," said Jennifer, placing her head on top of her hand and tapping her

fingers against her cheek. "Why should I stop spreading rumors now that I'm out of thegroup? Who says only the Asian Gossip Girls are allowed to do that?" Jennifer removed herhand from her cheek and held her head high. "Grim does it all the time and he's notofficially part of the group. The cheerleaders too. I say that I do my own thing without allthose rules weighing me down. What do you say Eunie?"

Eunice jumped awake. "What did you say?""Were you even listening?"

"No," said Eunice honestly, blushing slightly."Never mind," said Jennifer, annoyed. "Since you have such a short attention span, I'll

say it in words you can understand.""Okay!" said Eunice, bouncing on her seat to stay awake."We're still gossiping, even if we've been kicked out of the group."Eunice tilted her head. "How? We don't have the resources anymore...""Other schools don't use resources," said Jennifer, snapping back at Eunice."Jen," said Eunice shyly, fumbling with her hands. "Did Jezebelle tell you that?""She did," said Jennifer immediately. "Why?"


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"Isn't it strange that she only becomes interested in you after you left the group?"asked Eunice quietly.

"You know well that she has a rivalry thing going on with Tiffy. That's why she hadn'tspoken to us much."

"What are you going to do from now on?" asked Eunice, sitting still for once.Jennifer shrugged. "I'll do what I've always been doing, except without the

restrictions.""Which restrictions are you talking about?""You know," said Jennifer, picking up her cold sandwich. "The not making up a rumor

one."Eunice's eyes widened. "Jen, I don't think that's a good idea...""Jezebelle has shown me that I can be better than Tiffy," said Jennifer, taking a huge

bite of her sandwich. "I'll show Tiffy what happens when she loses someone who has been soloyal to her all these years because of a couple of stupid rules." Jennifer had a hurtexpression on her face. "I'll show her."

"Jen," said Eunice in a whisper. "You're beginning to scare me..."******************************************

Flinging the door to his house open, Tristan Tailor shook off his shoes and headedstraight for the kitchen to get a drink of water. He had been working out from morning toafternoon. Usually, he wouldn't be home by now, but he needed some dinner money to goout with Monika later.

Hey Gramps! Tristan shouted at the top of his lungs. I need at least twenty bucksfor my date today.

There was no response from his grandmother. Tristan frowned and closed therefrigerator after he quickly drank a cup of water. Where was she? At this hour, she shouldbe home, reading or watching television. Tristan searched the living room first. She was notthere. Determined, Tristan checked both his room and her's. She wasn't there either.

Did she go grocery shopping? asked Tristan to himself.

Passing by the phone, Tristan noticed someone had left around twenty messages onthe answering machine. Tristan usually left this trivial job to his grandmother but somethingbothered him about her absence and how many messages there were. Hesitating at first,Tristan clicked the button to hear the messages.

Tristan, listen here-At the sound of his father's harsh voice, Tristan instantly deleted the message

without hesitating. On second thought, Tristan deleted all of the messages to be safe. Thelast time he had heard from his father had been three years ago at the age of fifteen whenhis parents kicked him out of the house. He was suspended from school for beating on aretarded student. His parents had said he was better off on the streets where he wouldlearn to grow up. Tristan might be a D student, but he wasn't that stupid. At the age of

fifteen, how had he have been able to survive on his own?Fortunately for Tristan, his grandmother had taken him in and he had stayed with her

ever since. Carefully, Tristan closed the door and sat against it. He thought about hisgrandmother and wondered again where she went. His grandmother was nearly seventyyears old and hated traveling in the sun. She usually did her grocery shopping in themorning when it was cooler outside. Did she have a doctor's appointment today that shehad conveniently forgotten to tell him about?

In the middle of his thoughts, the phone rang again. Tristan refused to move in hisspot and instead, stared at the phone as hard as he could. Maybe if he stared at it long


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enough, it would automatically stop ringing and leave him alone. He was in no mood to talkto anyone or in the case of machines, anything right now. At last, the answering machinetook the call.

Tristan, pick up this instant!At hearing his mother's shrilling voice this time, Tristan crawled over to the phone as

quickly as he could and pulled the plug out. He panted and slammed his fist against the

nearest wall. His heart was pounding in his chest out of fear. Even when faced with an armyof boys bigger and stronger than him, Tristan had never felt this way before.For a long time, Tristan knelt on the ground near the home phone without speaking

or moving. Any minute now, even without electricity, that phone would start ringing again.He would have to hear one of their voices again. He would have to hear what they had tosay. For almost three years, they had not spoken a word to him. They hadn't even visitedhim once. Two birthdays had passed already.

Fuck, had said Tristan on his birthday last year, holding up a striped shirt. What isthis shit? I don't want to wear it. Tristan tossed his grandmother a nasty look. I don't wantto be caught in this ugly crap! Return it!

Thinking about the only birthday present he had received that day, Tristan sat up

straight and laid his back against the wall. He should have tossed it aside and given it awayto some homeless people. Instead, it was in the bottom corner of his top drawer. He hadkept it safely there ever since. He was too embarrassed to wear it but he didn't have theheart to throw it away, either. Instead, he had compromised and had left it there eversince. Nobody knew about this, not even his grandmother.

Soon enough, Tristan heard knocking on the front door. He could hear a lot ofbickering. Not mentally prepared to hear or speak to them any time soon, Tristan ignoredthe people outside. He pretended that they were one of those annoying religious groupswho went from house to house to convert people. He hated those people. He would eitherignore them or throw water balloons down at them from his room. He was thankful for atwo-story house.

I don't give a fuck about them, said Tristan over and over to himself.In the middle of his muttering, Tristan heard the voice of his aunt loud and clearcoming from outside, Your grandma is in the hospital you ungrateful kid!

Tristan stopped muttering to himself and picked up his head from his knees at thenews. He did not move. He almost did not breathe. There was only one thing on his mindright now. If he could redo one event in his life, he would have worn that ugly shirt thismorning before he said goodbye to his grandmother before he left for the gym.

*************************************************************Why are you crying?Rin gawked at the sight of Jordan in tears next to her on the couch in front of her

family's television. Why was she stuck with a crying Jordan right now? After waiting for

another half an hour or so at the restaurant, Rin had received an urgent call from homeabout her mother falling ill. Jin, Jordan, and she had rushed home to check up on hermother, only to be tricked by her father into watching a video he had rented especially forJordan and her. At least with Jin by her side, she would be blessed with at least half of hersanity. However, Jin was currently not here. He was being interrogated by her father at themoment.

It's so sad, said Jordan, hiding his face behind his arm.I didn't find it sad, said Rin, lifting a brow at him. The movie was running the

credits on screen. The movie was gruesome but not sad.


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How is killing off infants not sad? asked Jordan, gawking at Rin. You're soheartless.

They can't even think, said Rin defensively.It's still sad, said Jordan insistently, drying his eyes. After this movie, I understand

what I have to do now. Jordan stood up abruptly with a determined look on his face. Iwill try my best to be a good father-figure for our kids. I hate abortion now.

Not our kids, said Rin fiercely in reminder. Yourkids.Jordan blinked and glanced over to the kitchen where the Hamadas werepreoccupied with Jin. Right. My kids. Got it.

This is exactly what he wants, said Rin, growling and wrapping her arms across herchest. He calls us and shows us this video as his way of saying 'If you get an abortionbehind my back, you'll be sorry'. If I'm reallypregnant, I'm getting an abortion without asecond thought. I don't care what the video says.

Cold, said Jordan, gaping at her.My life is more important, said Rin grumpily. I won't allow one mistake to ruin my

life forever. I have to be a surgeon and that takes years.I get it, said Jordan, sitting back down. No maternal instinct or anything.

Why are you so hung up on this anyways? asked Rin, observing Jordan's face.A couple of my ex-girlfriends have had abortions before, said Jordan, sittingcomfortably against the couch. Rin was so shocked that she couldn't say anything. Ofcourse, the school hadn't known about it. They could hardly keep up with my girlfriends'names in the first place.

Did both of you and your ex make the decision together? asked Rin solemnly.That would have been much too formal, Ri-chan, said Jordan with a long, distant

expression on his face. The girls basically went up to me and told me they had made uptheir minds about the abortion. I didn't care much, so I told them to do as they wished.

What if they had said otherwise? asked Rin curiously.Jordan frowned. I hadn't thought about that.

What about now?You're a nosy one, aren't you? asked Jordan playfully, receiving a glare from Rin.Rin glanced away, annoyed. Never mind then.I already said it, said Jordan, giving in. I hate abortion. That's my stance.I'm thankful we're not having a real child then, said Rin, relieved.I agree wholeheartedly.Rin lowered her head and peered up at Jordan. Are you usually this weepy when

watching a movie?Blushing, Jordan said quickly, Stop being so nosy.Rin allowed a short giggle. You're such a crybaby.I don't cry during movies, said Jordan, clapping his hand over her mouth. And

you're not allowed to giggle like a girl. Stop acting like a girl, Ri-chan.While the two struggled on the couch, Jin came over to tell them the good news. He

stopped in his tracks at the sight of Jordan trying to push Rin off the couch. Mr. Hamadahurried over and broke them apart, lecturing them both to be careful now that Rin waspregnant. Jin yelped by accident. Rin and Jordan elevated their eyes at him.

Rin-chan, you'repregnant? asked Jin incredulously.Oh great, said Rin, groaning.Jin ran around in circles, panicking. Oh Hyde! This can't be happening!Even the Korean boy finds it hard to believe anyone would find Rin attractive, said


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Mr. Hamada in a matter-of-fact voice to his wife.Ms. Hamada beamed. Rin-chan is special.Rin-chan, said Jin, rushing over and grabbing a hold of Rin's hands. Remember

that joke we made when we were young about how I would get pregnant before you thanksto future advance medical technology?

Jordan burst out laughing. That's priceless.

Oh shut up, said Rin angrily at Jordan before she turned to Jin, Must you mentionthat in front of everyone?What happened to our joke? asked Jin, ready to pull his hair out. Jin looked back

and forth frantically between Rin and Jordan. Why? How? How could this happen? Whathave you guys done? Jin was mentally exhausted and began to sulk on the ground since hewasn't allowed to touch any furniture in the house. I can't believe this... I'm not ready forthis... this is too much for me.

The Korean boy is not taking this well at all, said Mr. Hamada to his wife.Jin's like Rin-chan's older brother figure, said Ms. Hamada helpfully.Will Jin be all right? asked Jordan, afraid to get near to or touch the boy.He's always like that, said Rin, shrugging.

Jordan frowned. I didn't know that.You don't know much about Jin in the first place.Ouch.Jin, said Rin, grabbing a hold of Jin's arm and dragging him up to his feet. Let's

talk privately. Rin noticed her father's stern gaze. Jordan too. Both of you, come with meoutside to the front yard.

Leaving her parents behind, Rin quickly forced both boys to leave the house beforeher. Once they were outside, Rin made sure that her parents weren't eavesdropping againstthe front door before she whirled on them both. With four words, Rin pounded into Jin'shead that she was not pregnant.

I am not pregnant, said Rin for the fifth time in a row.

I don't get it, said Jin at last, confused.Jordan! Rin shrieked. You explain! Now!She's so demanding, said Jordan, sighing. He complied and explained, You know

how Ri-chan acts towards her father right?Er, said Jin, glancing at Rin once. Yes, of course. I had no idea he was here

though... I feel left out.Sorry, said Jordan immediately.Why are you apologizing? cried Rin, gaping at him.Anyways, said Jordan, ignoring Rin. She's using this pregnancy thing to get back at

him for abandoning her.Does Kristian know about this? asked Jin worriedly. What if he takes this the

wrong way like I had?He helped us, said Rin, ashamed. Kristian! Oh no! Rin smacked her forehead

with her hand. Stupid old man!Right, said Jin, remembering too. Because we thought something happened to

Ms. Hamada, we left at once to see her and forgot about Kristian.Logically, said Jordan, sighing. One of us should have stayed behind.That would have made things worse, said Rin anxiously. You know how Kristian is

towards you and Jin!What the fuck are we waiting here for? asked Jordan, pushing Rin towards his car.


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Hurry up and go back.You're the driver!Jordan ran with her now, What if he's waiting for you there?As if, said Rin, glancing away with red cheeks. Kristian would never wait for me.You don't know that for sure, said Jin, running on her other side.I do know, said Rin in a firm tone. That's who Kristian is.

You're right. That's who I am.All three of them stopped in their tracks at the sight of Kristian leaning against hiscar with his sunglasses on. Judging by his posture and his tone, Rin could tell he had beenstanding around here from quite some time. He might have seen and heard the wholeconversation between her and the other two boys. She had no idea. He was wearingsunglasses, therefore she couldn't tell anything from his facial expression or his eyes.

We'll leave you two alone, said Jin quickly, motioning Jordan to follow.Rin and Kristian waited until Jin and Jordan went inside Jin's car before Rin blushed

bright red and glanced away, I don't know what to say...I'm going then.No! said Rin, taking a step toward Kristian. Don't leave! Rin lowered her eyes

and muttered under her breath. Please?Reconsidering, Kristian returned to his previous laid-back position with thosesunglasses hiding his eyes. Rin noticed he was chewing gum in his mouth. She had neverseen him chew gun before. It was almost mesmerizing to watch.

I'm ready for it, said Kristian, breaking through the silence and wrapping his armsin front of his chest.

For?For you getting mad at me for not coming on time.Rin's eyes widened. I'm ready for you to get mad at me for not staying!This is so fucked up, said Kristian, chuckling now. Rin recognized that chuckle. Not

a good sign. He chewed his gun faster before he continued, This is not how most

conversations between conventional lovers are supposed to be.We're not really conventional in any way, said Rin honestly.Something we can agree on. We're making progress.Blushing, Rin moved up to him. Kristian... I...I'm listening, said Kristian curtly.I want to know for sure, said Rin, gulping. I want to know what our status is. I

want confirmation on our relationship.Is that all? asked Kristian coolly.Rin nodded. Yes.Nothing else?Yes and no, said Rin, trying to sound as calm as he was. Depending on the status

of our relationship, I'll either have a lot or nothing to say.I only have one thing to say then, said Kristian, pocketing his hands in his jeans.

Rin waited anxiously for it. Give me one good reason why we should be together.One good reason?One good reason.Let's see, said Rin, feeling like a spotlight had been shone on her. First of all,

what constitutes a good reason?Kristian smirked. One we can both agree on.This is hard, said Rin miserably. I can only think of the opposite...


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Out of a million people who say yes, it only takes one person to say no to ruinabsolution, said Kristian, licking his lips thoughtfully. Out of a million faults, it only takesone strength to draw someone in. Out of a million heartbreaks, it only takes one lovingrelationship to make a difference. Now then, Kristian indicated at Rin. Out of the millionreasons why we shouldn't be together, can you pick out the one that says 'yes'?

I can't just come up with one on the spot, said Rin, struggling.

Kristian chuckled at her again. I see.I'll think of one in a minute, said Rin, bobbing her head. I swear!While you think, said Kristian, watching her face closely. What happened to you?

You're usually so stubborn. Why did you leave so early?Almost three hours late is early? asked Rin automatically. However, she shut up and

shook her head. I didn't mean that. I mean... Rin calmed down and continued, I thoughtsomething happened to my mother so I left.

How inconvenient. Is your mother all right?Yes, she's fine.Kristian nodded. Good to hear.What about you? asked Rin curiously. Why didn't you come on time?

Simply put, said Kristian, shrugging. I had nothing left to say.You must have been really mad at me...Actually no, said Kristian, interrupting her. All I've felt for the past couple of

hours is disappointment.I'd take the anger over that any day, said Rin carefully.Same, said Kristian in agreement. Quite honestly, I'm so disappointed in both you

and myself. I'm disappointed in you for cheating on me, but I'm also disappointed in myselffor not noticing earlier and helping your affair instead of preventing it.

Why are there so many problems in our relationship? Rin moaned out loud.Because love can't remedy everything, and Korean dramas lied to me, said Kristian

quietly. Have you thought of that reason yet? Something besides love?

Rin shook her head sadly. No...I thought so.You knew the answer from the very beginning?Nodding, Kristian continued, When I arrived at that restaurant and you weren't

there, I panicked about your safety. I thought for sure that something bad had happened toyou because you had stayed there by yourself to wait for me. Of course, I calmed down andwent to your house to check. Kristian released a long sigh. But that's the thing Rin-chan.Sadly, I blamed myself more than anything else. That's when I realized that I had done thesame so many times before in our relationship.

Done what?On the surface, it might have been 'us', but on the inside, it has always been 'me'. It

has always been Kristian-sama this and Kristian-sama that. It has always been Kristian-samafirst and everything else, including Rin-chan, later.

Rin's eyes widened. But Kristian-Earlier today too, said Kristian miserably. I was hurt because you cheated on me. I

refused to see you because I felt that you don't deserve mytime and myattention. Evenstupid Cory had to point it out to me that it's always been me. I have always cared aboutmyself above anyone else because that's who I am. Kristian shook his head. Your linesearlier were the last straw I needed, Rin-chan, for Cory's words to fully sink in.

What words?


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You said I would never wait for you, said Kristian, smiling sadly. Because that'swho I am. Kristian threw his head back. You're absolutely right. If you don't come withinthe first hour, or even less, I would automatically assume you've either rejected me andgone home or that something horrible has happened to you. I wonder if it's a self-defensemechanism for my pride.

Rin closed her eyes. I'm guilty too. I've always put myself before you.

I know that already.You shouldn't blame yourself then, said Rin quickly. We're both equally guilty.I have to, said Kristian fiercely. Because even now, I can't help but think in terms

of 'me' instead of 'you'. I've done it a million times and I did it once again before I camehere. Kristian moved up closer to Rin. Unlike me, though, you've actually moved on fromthat. I can tell. Kristian smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around her neck. You'vethought of me instead of you, this time, and this time only. That's why, Kristian squeezedher tighter against him. You should do it.

Do what? asked Rin, feeling the tears in her eyes.Break up with me instead.No, Kristian, I can't do that...

Kristian pushed her away from him and held her at arms' length. You have to.Remember what I told you at the beginning of our relationship? You have to dump me forour relationship to end officially. If I say we break up, we would never break up.

But why should I? asked Rin helplessly, tears dripping. You figured out yourproblem, haven't you? Can't we stay together and resolve it as a couple?

No, Rin-chan, I have to do it on my own this time. I'm too selfish around you.But-I don't want to hear anymore, said Kristian sternly. I want to hear the magic

words before I can let everything go... once and for all.Rin lowered her eyes. I can't say it.I know you can, said Kristian in an urgent voice. I know you can do it.

Kristian, said Rin loudly, tackling Kristian into a hug. I can't!Say it, said Kristian under his breath. Prove to me that you've changed.Searching his eyes, Rin hesitated again. After everything they had been through in

the past, it couldn't end like this. They loved each other, yet they were both so selfish andprideful. Kristian understood this now. He wanted to move on and change himself. If shewas really thinking of him instead of herself, then she should listen to him and allow him totake this journey by himself. She refused to be the clingy type to the end.

Okay, said Rin, sniffing back the tears. I'll say it.Good girl.Kristian, let's-Kristian smiled sweetly and whispered to her, I'll miss you.

-break up.Pushing Rin away from him, Kristian ran to the other side of his car and climbed in.

He quickly locked all doors so Rin couldn't talk to or get near him. Before Kristian droveaway, he gazed at her intently. Rin stood there with no emotion on her face. At last,Kristian removed his sunglasses so he could have a better look at her. His eyes were red.Even to the very last minute, he couldn't show her how many tears he had shed over her inthe past half an hour. Biting his lip, Kristian forced himself to drive away at last.

I... said Rin, noticing the two shadows on the ground. I broke up with Kristian...**********************************************


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Fuck off, old man, said Tristan, freeing himself from his father's grip and stoppingin front of his grandmother's room. Stop treating me like some fucking criminal.

All of Tristan's other relatives shook their heads at the sight of Tristan. He was well-known throughout the family as the rotten fruit of the basket. His cousins were eitheralready in universities or in the middle of writing applications for them. They sneered atTristan after he had been granted permission to go inside to visit his grandmother. No

matter where any of them went for college, at least they were going to be better thansomeone in the family. Realistically speaking, Tristan wasn't going to be acceptedanywhere, even if he tried to apply. They knew this well. They counted on it.

Sup Gramps, said Tristan, occupying the chair next to his grandmother.Tristan, said his grandmother, reaching her hand up to him.Looking good there, Gramps, said Tristan, accepting her hand.Have you ever wondered why I took you in when no one else would? asked Tristan's

grandmother in a solemn tone. Tristan shook his head. Do you want to know?If it's a cheesy story, save it Gramps. I'll hear it another day.There might not be another day, Tristan.Tristan laughed in a booming voice. What you talking about, Gramps? No woman her

age looks healthier than you.His grandmother managed to laugh. You're like a male clone of me back when I wasyoung.

You must have been real bad ass, then."You kids and your slang."Tristan threw a thumb over his shoulder at the closed door. "Why are they here? They

never visit you before, Gramps."The elderly woman smiled weakly. "How sad that people are only popular at the

beginning and end of their lives.""Gramps," said Tristan, patting her hand and getting up. "I'll go cancel my date now.""Your date," said Tristan's grandmother, remembering. "You need money, don't you?"

Tristan flipped open his cell phone. "I'm canceling it! Didn't you hear me?""Tristan," said the woman in a sad voice. Tristan closed his cell phone to listen to her."You are the only person so far who hasn't pretended to cry or say comforting words."Tristanfrowned. "Thank you."

"What are you talking about Gramps? You're not making sense.""All these years," said the elderly woman, clasping her hands together. "I've lived by

myself. Your parents and Uncles and Aunts kept trying to take me home and support me."Tristan had a puzzled expression on his face. He couldn't understand why his grandmotherwould be telling him this. "Aren't they nice people, Tristan?"

"I don't like them," said Tristan firmly."You don't think they're nice?"

Tristan shook his head. "Nice people would visit.""Tristan, I've always believed you're smarter than they give credit you for," said his

grandmother, smiling sweetly to herself. "You might run around with your friends, but youreally have no idea how the real world works." Tristan sat back down and rubbed his cellphone in between his hands. "You are turning eighteen next week. I've been waiting for thatday to tell you about the real world, but I've decided today will be the day instead."

"We can wait," said Tristan quickly. "Gramps, you should nap instead. Old people needthat shit."

"Listen, Tristan," said his grandmother, lowering her eyes. "The reason why your


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parents and everyone else want me to stay with them is because of the government money.You're too young to know that the government takes care of you and your finances once youretire. Every one of your relative wants that money."

"I should have known," said Tristan, laughing. "They've always treated you like shit,Gramps."

"They're not bad people."

"Close enough!"Tristan's grandmother motioned for him to lean down to her and stroke his hair."Tristan,you should go to college."

"I don't want to Gramps. College is for smart kids.""You are smart," said the woman insistently. "You are kind too.""Enough of that crap, Gramps.""The past three years we've been together have been the happiest days of my life,"

said the elderly woman, gazing intently at Tristan. "I'm glad I get to bond with such agrandson before my time is up."

"I don't understand, Gramps. Why are you talking like a dead person?"The elderly woman closed her eyes and rested her head against the pillow. "I won't

go just yet, not until you're eighteen.""Gramps," said Tristan, laying his head on top of the cushion. "You're not goinganywhere, you hear me? You're the only person who ever gave a damn about me."

"You know that's not true," said his grandmother sleepily. "You have friends, don'tyou?"

"Friends," said Tristan in repetition. "What can they do for me?""Your grandmother never had friends.""What are you spewing out now?""Your grandmother was a bully too," said the woman in a whisper now. "She picked on

everybody and never made any real friends. She was always lonely, even at family reunionsand parties."

"Why are you using third person?" asked Tristan in disbelief. "It's fucking confusing.""There are some really nice people out there," said his grandmother in a strongervoice. "Maybe after I'm gone, you'll meet them. You'll become friends with them or," hisgrandmother released a long sigh. "Have already been friends with them but haven'tnoticed."

Tristan took out his wallet and stared at a familiar twenty-dollar bill in his hands."Gramps, do you want me to go to college that badly?"

"That would be nice...""I don't even know who the fuck this man is on the twenty," said Tristan, frustrated."He's Andrew Jackson, the seventh president of the United States," said Tristan's

grandmother, dozing off. Tristan folded the dollar bill and placed it back safely inside the

wallet. Even if he went broke, he wouldn't use this bill. "He was a tough cookie that one.'Old Hickory' wasn't it? You would have liked him, Tristan. You guys are very similar."

Tristan held his grandmother's hand. "Did that Jackson man have lots of nice friends?""He became the president the United States. What do you think, Tristan?"Unable to contain his tears, Tristan muttered, "You should have given me history

lessons instead, Gramps. You're a hell lot less boring than those geezers in school."With a smile on her face and a low voice, his grandmother continued, "Andrew

Jackson had a lot of opponents during the elections... they called him a 'jackass' and hewore that title proudly. Funny enough, the Democrats use that animal as their mascot now."


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Tristan laughed, though his whole body was tense. "Those people played dirty and accusedJackson's wife having an affair. They drove her to her death right before his inauguration."

"Those people still exist," said Tristan, interrupting with a scowl. "Right outside thisvery room."

His grandmother said nothing in response, but she had a smile on her face as sheslept. Tristan squeezed her hand and sat by her side for a very long time.

***************************************************************If Jordan had ever felt more helpless than now, he couldn't remember the time.When Jin and he had approached Rin, she had told him she had broken up with Kristian witha pale, emotionless face. He wanted to say something or do something for her, but nothingcame to mind. Why was he such an indecisive person?

Let's cheer her up, said Jin the minute they were away from Rin. She hadn't movedfrom her spot. I know Rin-chan well. It's better to comfort her quickly and then distracther with something else until she calms down.

That's a good idea, said Jordan, ashamed that he couldn't think of anything.Jin shook his head. I thought for sure they would get together again.Me too...

I wasn't mentally prepared for this outcome at all, said Jin sadly.Jordan glanced in her direction again. She looks so sad... I wonder why she madesuch a decision...

It's not our place to ask, said Jin with a sigh.Yeah...Jin held up a fist firmly. As her friends, we have to distract her for as long as

possible. She needs it right now.Right, said Jordan, standing behind Jin firmly. You do it Jin.With that encouragement, Jin approached Rin with Jordan right behind him. Rin

greeted them in a weak voice. Smiling, Jin asked her if she still wanted to tutor them bothin Calculus for their upcoming test at his house. Indecisive, Rin couldn't respond to Jin's

suggestion. Jordan sighed and put on his outgoing persona.It's Sunday evening and you have two hot boys willing to study Calculus with youinstead of going out dates, said Jordan, shaking his head at her. You should be more thanhappy to comply!

Rin lowered her eyes. I'll do it then.Thanks Rin-chan, said Jin, beaming. I really need your help!Nodding, Rin muttered, You should study more...Hey Jordan, said Jin, clapping Jordan on the arm. The inside of my car is messy

so you'll have to drive Rin-chan for me. You know where I live right? Jordan nodded,dumbfounded. I'll see you two there. I'll leave the front door unlocked.

Jordan recovered and said, Wait Jin-

Instead of answering, Jin waved back at them and went inside his car. Judging by thelook on Jin's cheerful face, Jordan knew that Jin was purposely doing this to give him andRin some alone time together. Jordan wished he had told Jin the truth about how he had noromantic feelings for Rin. Because now that Kristian was no longer Rin's boyfriend, both Jinand Jezebelle were going to 'help' him win Rin over for sure. At least, it was better this waythan for Jin to find out about his true feelings.

Jordan? asked Rin, noticing Jordan gaze after Jin's car.Jordan met Rin's helpless expression by accident and blushed. Don't make such a

pitiful, girly expression!


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Okay, said Rin, turning her back to Jordan.What the? asked Jordan, stunned. Fight back like you always do.I'm not in the mood to fight.Jordan sighed. Get in the car. Jin's waiting.Once Rin was sitting next to Jordan in his car, she automatically stared out the

window without saying a word. Jordan felt uncomfortable with her behavior. He had only

seen her act like this once before, and even then, it had only been temporary. Rin hadrecovered once she made up with Kristian and ditched school that day. This time, though,they had broken up for good. Was she going to remain like this for the rest of the day? Whatabout the rest of her life?

Ri-chan, said Jordan, thinking of a way to provoke her. What color do you like?Any, said Rin in a monotone. Why?I was thinking of getting you a collar in your favorite color.Rin turned her eyes on him and gave him a piercing glare. You shouldn't be allowed

to talk.Jordan timidly returned his attention ahead of him. She's scarier when she doesn't

raise her voice.

Jo-kun...And her mood swings are worse than usual, said Jordan to himself before heanswered her in a louder voice, Yes?

I don't want to date anymore, said Rin, tearing up.You shouldn't say that, said Jordan, upset. You're still young... and this is your

first attempt. There are plenty of reasons to date again.I shouldn't have told you that, said Rin regrettably. You're a man slut.I find that label offensive, thanks.Tearing up, Rin hid her face in her arm. Since you're a man slut, you should take it.

It's the reason why Kristian and I've become so distant in the first place! I figured it out! It'sall its fault! I hate it! I don't want it anymore!

Slow down, said Jordan, pulling over and putting the car on parking. What is this'it' you're talking about?Rin lifted her eyes from her arm. What else? My virginity.Gaping at her, Jordan said quickly, You shouldn't even be joking about that!I can't think straight, said Rin, sobbing. Jordan waited for her to loosen up a bit. I

keep thinking of what if Kristian and I did this and that, would we be like this today? I'mregretting all those times I didn't let him-

Can I tell you a personal story? asked Jordan suddenly, silencing Rin.Rin took off her seat belt and turned to him. Okay.You must not tell anyone.I won't.

Blushing bright red, Jordan continued, I was actually afraid of my first time.Rin's eyes widened. Oh, that story...Should I stop?Curious, Rin shook her head frantically with a puppy look on her face. Continue.You know I'm not brave or assertive by nature so when other boys talk about it, I

had nothing to contribute. I couldn't even lie about it just to be like everyone else. Jordanstopped and glanced over at Rin, who was engrossed in his story. You see, Ri-chan, in thepopular circles, it sounds like everyone's doing it and if you're not doing it, you're being leftout. It's hard to fit in.


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It's so different from my world where all anyone talks about is studying...Jordan shook his head. I would prefer that.In the end, you conform to everyone else? asked Rin timidly.I wanted everyone to like me, said Jordan, laying his head against his left arm. It

was the beginning of high school. I wanted to fit in and make lots of friends. Sure, inretrospect, it was all for nothing, but I was a lot less mature back then.

Beginning of high school, said Rin, repeating.I know. Freshman year.As expected from Jordan Greene.Jordan reddened. Stop making assumptions about me and then gathering evidence

to back them up.You're off on a tangent again, said Rin in reminder, knowing Jordan too well.Sorry, said Jordan quickly, relaxing in his chair. Because of how inexperienced and

frightened I was, I actually ended up sleeping with my best friend for my first time. It wasout of pure curiosity for both of us. Neither of us were in love with one another, but neitherof us regretted our decision either.

I see... said Rin softly.

Therefore I am very supportive of that type of friendship bonding.Rin pouted. Are you sure it's not because you're biased because I asked you?Jordan coughed uncomfortably. On the contrary, I am adamantly against sex with

zero affection. Friends have a mild affection for one another. That's why I approve of that.What are you trying to say, Jordan? asked Rin, sitting up straight in her seat.I won't be tempted just because you want to cast your virginity aside for impulsive

reasons that I am sure you'll regret later on.Rin glanced away with red cheeks. I was joking anyways. You shouldn't take it so

seriously, Jordan.Just making sure.But thanks, said Rin, smiling softly. That story made me feel better.

Jordan returned the gesture. You're very welcome.Once all of them had arrived at Jin's house, Rin borrowed Jin's Calculus book to teachboth of them. Jin and Jordan suffered for the next hour at Rin's hands as she made themsolve incredibly hard problems and lectured them to death whenever they made a mistake.Even when they tried to leave the room to go to the bathroom, Rin wouldn't allow them to.

You're taking this quite well, said Jordan under his breath, finishing his lastproblem. He was sitting next to Jin at his desk.

I'm used to it, said Jin, doodling on the corner of his paper. I'm more surprised athow easygoing you are about this.

Jordan grinned proudly. I adapted!Adapted to what? asked Rin, copying Jezebelle's pose on top of Jin's bed.

Your evil tutoring style, said Jordan in a bitter voice.What do you suggest then? asked Rin loudly, glaring. Should I adapt to your

studying style, Jordan Greene? Rin laughed evilly at Jordan in imitation of Jezebelle. Ohwait! There's none!

The atmosphere is getting to her, said Jordan, glancing at Jin.Rin-chan, said Jin in awe. Are you feeling much better?Oh yeah, said Jordan, remembering. You must be. You're shouting at me.I am, said Rin with a soft, dreamy expression on her face now. Jin and Jordan

looked at one another. When I'm engrossed in math, I can't think of anything else. Rin


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brightened up. I remember back in the old days when I occupy my time with studies andpractice to be a perfect model student... the valedictorian of my grade. Rin glanced awaywith a sad expression now. I'm not cut out to enter the world of dating and socializing justyet. I want to be back to my original goal.

Rin-chan... said Jin, touched.I actually miss my old days of being a full-time nerd, said Rin, pumped up.

You're recovering a little too fast, said Jordan suspiciously.It's better this way, isn't it, Jordan? asked Jin with that all-knowing look thatobviously meant that Jordan should hold onto this opportunity. Jordan wanted nothing morethan to disappear. He had gotten himself a sticky situation. Since Fi will be eating dinnerwith her friends today, you guys want to go out and eat? It's almost dinner time and we'reabout done with Calculus.

Even though Jordan preferred to eat the Italian food Jin cooked at home and wasabout to suggest that instead, Rin cried, I want to eat Korean food!

Okay, said Jin happily to Rin before turning to Jordan. Have you ever tried Koreanfood, Jordan? Jordan was so speechless that he merely shook his head to answer. Youhave to try it today. You don't know what you're missing.

Wait, said Jordan, glancing from Jin to Rin. We're going out to dinner? Just thethree of us?Is there something wrong with that? asked Jin, clueless.Jordan felt his heart beating rapidly again before he muttered, No, nothing.Right after Jordan excused himself to the restroom, Rin thought about how she

should create more opportunities for Jin and Jordan since, one, it would occupy both hermind and time, and two, she felt sorry for Jordan and his unrequited love for Jin.Meanwhile, Jin kept his eyes on his paper while he thought about Jordan and Rin. Eventhough Jin felt sorry for Kristian and really hoped to talk about it sometime, Jin wanted tohelp Jordan get closer to Rin. He pitied Jordan and thought that he should at least dosomething about Jordan's unrequited love. Jordan returned to Jin's room and noticed both

of them focusing on him.Why are you two staring at me like that?***********************************************************

You ungrateful child, said Mr. Tailor loudly in front of Tristan.The Tailor family was sitting in the lounge because it was time for dinner. While his

cousins ate their hamburgers, they kept snickering at Tristan for both being scolded in frontof everyone and not having anything to eat. His parents were furious at him. Contrary to hisusual behavior, Tristan hadn't fought back. He sat there and took in everything quietly.

His mother was wagging her finger at him. She took care of you for over two yearsand you can't even come to the hospital by yourself? You can drive yourself, can't you?There's a reason why she gave you that old car of hers.

You can't say hello to your cousins correctly either!How can you be so selfish to take the entire visiting hour with her? Everyone else

wants to see her too!Tristan glared at them both. All they had ever done for him was nag day and night.

Back when he had been a child, they had only spoken to him whenever he had donesomething wrong. They had punished him. They had never encouraged him or pointed outhis positive qualities.

Not only was he frustrated with his parents, Tristan was frustrated with all hisclassmates, his teachers, and his cousins. All of them had labeled him as retarded because


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he had had a harder time understanding everything. He also had no motivation andwillpower to try to understand either, so he chose not to. They mistook this as stupidity. Histeachers thought there was something wrong with him and tried to move him to remedialclasses. Tristan knew what they were really up to. None of them wanted to deal with him.His classmates thought they could make smart jokes and he wouldn't understand them. Hiscousins had asked him to play the bad guy in their make believe games when they were

young. They wanted to laugh at him behind his back. No one understood him at all. No onecared about him. No one but his grandmother.I don't see what Grandma sees in him, said one of his cousins nearby.Another one laughed. She pities him, that's what.That must be it! How can she possibly prefer a good-for-nothing like him?Tristan tightened his grip on his wallet. They had always talked crap about him to his

face and behind his back. While he had struggled with his classes and eventually given up,they were pampered by their parents with private tutoring to get top SAT scores andgrades. Out of the bunch, all his cousins were all heading to top universities while he wasbarely passing high school. Despite this, none of them truly cared for their grandmother.None of them ever visited her. Even now, they were laughing and playing around with one

another outside her room. She was dying and they were here, making fun of him. Tristancould taste blood in his mouth. Why was his entire family so detestable?Ignoring his parents' lecture, Tristan stared at the same twenty-dollar bill again. He

remembered the day he had received this bill from Jin so well. That morning, he noticedthe mail on the table before he left for school. Tristan had frowned and finished his toast.

Gramps, said Tristan, indicating at the letters. What happen to your monthlypayment?

His grandmother had shifted her attention from the television to her grandson. It'slate this week, Tristan.

What the fuck? What a shitty government.Tristan, said his grandmother, surprised at him opening the door to leave. Aren't

you going to ask for your weekly lunch money?Tristan had heaved his backpack higher over his right shoulder. I have enough moneyfrom last week. I don't need to beg you for that shit. Tristan waved over his shouldercarelessly. I'm going.

Like any other day, Tristan had gone about his day bored out of his mind. He hadbeen on his way to hang out with his friends when he had bumped into one of the schoolnerds. He would have recognized that look on that boy's face any day. It was horror mixedwith disgust. These nerds were all the same. They were all similar to his cousins.

You motherfucker, said Tristan, unable to control his temper. He had held the boyagainst the wall of the bungalows. You dare to look down on me, you dip shit? Tristan hadgrowled and kicked the locker at the memory of his cousins chanting the word 'dumb' and

'stupid' over and over. I hate people like you.Since Tristan had been physically stronger than the nerd, he had began to beg Tristan

to drop him, and let him go. Tristan had needed an excuse to beat the kid up so he askedfor lunch money. In the middle of their struggle, though, he had never thought he wouldmeet the future king of Wilson High. Jin Song had had a sweet smile on his face.

If you need money, all you need to do is ask, said Jin, handing Tristan a twentydollar bill. I'm sure your friends are more than happy to lend you money if necessary.There's no need to use force.

Tristan had gaped at the brave Korean boy and his words. No, Tristan thought, that


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wasn't what friends do. Friends were merely people you hang out with for fun. Friends weremerely people who the rest of the school associate you with. Tristan was sure none of hisfriends would lend or give him money because, except for his grandmother, the rest of hisfamily was money-centric. They would never help him or his grandmother with moneyproblems. On the contrary, he knew that all of them were waiting for her to pass on so theycould get their hands on her money. They knew how much she liked to save.

You don't have to pay me back, said Jin, leaving Tristan's side.How was it possible that this boy Tristan had never met in his life would give him thisamount of money for free? These types of people didn't exist in Tristan's world. His familywas all selfish and judgmental. They pretended to be nice and sweet, but under that fakeexterior, they always put themselves first. That was why they didn't bother with Tristan. Tothem, he was bothersome. A nuisance.

Because of that short meeting, Tristan couldn't get himself to do anything to Jin.Even after Monika's endless pestering, Tristan had shaken it off and told her that he onlypreyed on nerds. Since Jin wasn't a nerd, Tristan wasn't going to bully him. If he were tohurt the only exception to the rules he had made about people, he would only be hurtinghimself. Tristan had decided long ago he would be neither for nor against Jin. He was going

to let Jin do his own thing.Returning from that memory, Tristan smirked and crushed the dollar in his hands. Therest of his family nearly shook out of fear at the sight of him like this. Tristan heavedhimself off his seat and stared straight at all of them. He punched the table with all theirleftover hamburgers and left a crack in it. Fearful of Tristan, all his cousins huddledtogether. They were too afraid to say anything about him anymore.

Hey, you losers, said Tristan, stamping his right foot on top of the table. Grampsisn't dead yet. Stop wasting your time here when you want to be somewhere else. Tristanpassed by all his quiet family members. I'm visiting Gramps again before I prepare forschool tomorrow. I have to go to college one day.

On his way there, Tristan thought about what his grandmother had said about having

nice friends to rely on. He wondered what his life might have been like if he had beenfriends with Jin. For now, he wasn't going to worry about that. Tristan was going to spendevery last minute with that one person who understood and accepted him.

****************************************************Even though Jin should have seen this coming from a mile away, he was not mentally

prepared to choose between his two friends. Whether they had done this on purpose or not,it didn't matter to Jin anymore. The matter at hand was that Rin and Jordan had chosen tosit on opposite sides of the table and beamed up at him in unison, making it clear whatthey wanted him to do. Jin sighed. This situation was ten times harder than anything hehad to do in school to get to the top.

What are you waiting for? asked Rin innocently, patting the seat next to her. Sit,

Jin. We're wasting valuable time!What's the matter? asked Jordan worriedly, frowning at Jin.Jin scratched the back of his head. I can't do this.Do what? asked the other two in unison.This is evil, said Jin, groaning. You know I can't decide!Feeling for Jin, Jordan released one heavy sigh before he muttered, If it's you, Jin,

I'll suffer the depths of hell for you. Jin watched as Jordan got up and ushered Rin to moveto her right. Then, he sat down and placed his arm across Rin's shoulders. There you go,Jin. I get to sit in front of you instead


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Rin pouted at Jordan. I hate you. I want him to decide once and for all.You are a cruel person, said Jordan, shaking his head at her.Relieved, Jin sat down, Thanks Jordan.Blushing, Jordan muttered, It's nothing really!Hey, you amateur, said Rin, shrugging Jordan's arm off and kicking him underneath

the table. I'll explain some of these dishes to you so you don't order something stupid.

You're the best, Ri-chan, said Jordan sarcastically.Rin smiled evilly at him. I know.And I stand out so much, said Jordan, glancing over his shoulder at the other

tables of Asian people. A couple of Asian girls giggled and pointed over at Jordan and Jin.Where are all the white people?

I don't know, said Jin honestly, staring at the menu.You can read Korean, right Jin? asked Jordan, noticing the Korean letters.I can, said Jin with a nod.Jordan smiled. I want to hear you speak Korean, Jin.Sure! said Jin with a bright smile.Aw, said Rin, making a puppy face at Jordan. How cute, Jordan.

Flustered, Jordan nudged her and said, It's not what you think!Rin fluttered her eyelashes. Right.Hey! I like hearing different languages, okay?You never asked me to speak Japanese, said Rin, amused.The occasion never came up, said Jordan defensively, annoyed at Rin for trying to

hint to Jin about his crush. Jin blinked, not understanding why they were fighting. Fine.Speak Japanese then. I dare you to.

Fine, I will, said Rin, taking in a deep breath. Rin spoke her next sentence inJapanese, Jordan loves Jin.

Jordan was confused. I what to Jin?Because Jin watched enough anime, he understood Rin's words and said to Jordan

sweetly, I love you too, Jordan.What? asked Jordan, reddening and glancing away.I love you more, said Rin, beaming at Jin across the table.Jin returned the gesture. I love you too, Rin-chan.Yay, said Rin in full bliss. You should say it too, Jordan.I love you, Ri-chan?Blushing, Rin shook her head frantically, Not me!Jin!I can't say that, said Jordan shyly, shaking out of nervousness. It's too

embarrassing! I can't say that to another boy...You're such a wimp, said Rin, glaring at him.You should leave him be, Rin-chan, said Jin, siding with Jordan.

He said it so easily to me! said Rin, wrapping her arms in front of her chest. Andhe doesn't consider me a girl half of the time!

I get it, said Jordan, frustrated. Keeping his head down, Jordan said under hisbreath, I-I love you... Jin.

See? asked Rin, kicking him underneath the table. It's not that bad, Jordan.Since we're best friends, said Jin, indicating at Rin. You should say it back to

Jordan, Rin-chan. It'll complete the full circle.No, said Rin, stunned. I can't say it to Jordan!Why not? asked Jin, dumbfounded.


18/23

Because, said Rin, glancing away. It took me several weeks to say it to Kristian.Rin lowered her sad eyes. It's not that easy for me to say it. I can't just say it to Jordan.

I can understand where she's coming from, said Jordan, sympathetic like always.It's tough, especially after a breakup. Rin nodded weakly. It's okay, Ri-chan! I don't wantto hear it from you anyway. It's too scary for me.

Angry, Rin cried, What do you mean 'it's too scary'?

To be frank, you're scary in general.You're horrible!Oh well, said Jin, shrugging it off. Inwardly, Jin thought to himself, At least I got

Jordan to confess to Rin-chan. That's what counts.While Rin bickered with Jordan, she thought to herself, At least I got Jordan to

confess to Jin. It's too bad that Jin didn't take it seriously.After they ordered the food (Rin ordered for Jordan in the end), Jin laughed and

spoke with his friends on video games, school, TV shows, and other topics. Jordan and Rinwere cooperative when they spoke to him. However, every time they talked to one another,they found some way to argue. At the sight of this, Jin thought about the old times whenhe, Bo, and Rin were together. Usually, Bo would say something perverted or insensitive and

Rin would get mad at him. He missed those days.Let's be best friends forever, said Jin at last after finishing his plate.Best friends forever? asked Jordan in repetition.I don't want the same thing that happened to Bo, Rin-chan, and I to happen to the

three of us, said Jin sadly, remembering how mad Bo was at him for breaking up their trio.Let's promise to always stick together and look out for one another.

What about Bo then? asked Jordan, feeling like he was replacing Bo.Bo, Rin-chan, and I can be part of a separate friendship, said Jin, placing down his

spoon.Actually, Jin, said Rin with a gloomy expression on her face. I don't think that's

possible anymore.

Why? asked both boys.Bo has... feelings for me, said Rin, sighing. Jordan and Jin stared at one another atthe news. I can't return his feelings. His family is against him liking me as well. It's toomuch trouble for him, his family, and me. Rin had a firm, sad look on her face. I can't befriends with Bo anymore.

Is that what you really want, Rin-chan? asked Jin in a calm, low voice.Rin nodded weakly. Yes. Definitely.Bo will be unhappy, said Jordan, trying to change her mind.He has you now, said Rin, pouting at Jordan. He doesn't need me.Jordan flushed. Bo and I aren't that close!Besides, said Rin, moving on. Bo's such a bright and cheerful person. He's not like

Jordan and I. He's more similar to you, Jin. He'll always makes friends wherever he goes.People will like him no matter what. Rin tried to look happy. I'm a hindrance to him. He'sbetter off without me and I'm better off without him.

Rin-chan, said Jin slowly. Have you talked to him about this yet?No... I'm planning to this Monday.Turning his head to her, Jordan said under his breath, You're such a heartless person,

Ri-chan. You don't even consider Bo's feelings.Sometimes, you need to. I can't be like you or Jin who consider too much for other

people's feelings.


19/23

Jin decided that things were heating up for the worst for Jordan and Rin so heintervened, How about it, Rin-chan? Jordan? Let's make that promise to be friends foreverno matter what.

I refuse, said Rin angrily, surprising both Jordan and Jin. It might be easy for youtwo but, Rin frowned and sipped her soda. I can't be friends with someone who won'teven acknowledge our friendship in school.

Jin gaped. I'm sorry Rin-chan!Not you!Oh... said Jin, glancing at Jordan.Oh, said Jordan, catching up.I know we talk a couple of times in school, said Rin, refusing to look either of the

boys. But we're always hiding from everyone else. I don't want to be friends with someonewho is ashamed of me.

Jordan gaped. I'm not ashamed of you!Rin-chan, said Jin, moving his head frantically back and forth between the two.

I'm sure that if both of you talk it out-Thank you for trying to cheer me up, Jin, said Rin, lowering her head gratefully.

But I'm getting emotional about everything right now. I don't want you to see me like this.Rin picked up her head with a fake smile on her face. I'll see you at school tomorrow whenI feel better. Good night and good bye!

After Rin left in a hurry, Jin got up abruptly, Wait Rin-chan!I'll talk to her, Jin, said Jordan hurriedly, getting up from his seat and dropping off

the money for both him and Rin. We live together now and we're good friends so I... I'mjust... Jordan bit his lip. It's not her or you. I'm the one being an awful friend. I need toresolve this on my own... in my own way.

Jin thought about it. I won't get involved then.Thanks.Just remember, said Jin, stopping Jordan from leaving. Rin-chan gets emotional

quickly and easily, but once she cools down, she'll listen. Jordan nodded in understanding.Also, Jin stopped Jordan for a second time. Good luck and I'm sure things will work outbetween you two.

You can't be that confident Jin...You might not see it, Jordan, said Jin, smiling sweetly. But you and Rin-chan will

always fight because of your differences but you'll always make up too because of yoursimilarities.

Jin...It's true, said Jin insistently. You and Rin-chan make up for each other's

shortcomings. I can tell by watching you two and knowing both of you personally. Believe inyourself, Jordan. Rin-chan likes confident guys.

Jordan's face blushed red. Right. I won't give up.Go Jordan! said Jin, waving after the other boy and then, looking at the rest of the

bill. Now, I have to go pick Fi up from the mall...Rushing after her, Jordan grabbed her arm and dragged her back to him. Hey you.

How are you planning to get home without either of us driving you home?I'll find my own way home!Jordan observed the dark surroundings. It's late though.I don't care, said Rin bitterly, stomping her foot. I'll find my way home like I

always do. I manage to come home from Bo's house yesterday. I can do it again if I want


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to. Rin turned her back to Jordan and continued, I don't want to rely on you or Jin oranyone anymore.

Jordan stared at her back. Like I said, it's late. You shouldn't wander the streets byyourself. What will your parents say?

I hate my father anyway!Sighing, Jordan waited for a few minutes for Rin to cool off before he continued, I

know I'm weak and not worthy of your friendship, especially after all those years of bullyingyou every day, but, Jordan dared to take a step closer to her. If you're really that mad atme for pretending that we're not friends in school, I can easily change that on Monday.

With a puppy expression on her face, Rin whirled around and muttered, Really?Jordan was slightly affected by her expression. Y-Yes.You're only saying that so you can get on my good side and drive me home, said

Rin, wrapping her arms in front of her chest and jerking her head away.I mean it, said Jordan insistently. I want everyone to know you and Jin are the

closest friends I've ever made. Jordan remembered what they talked about earlier andglanced away grumpily. At least, I'm willing to do that for you. You can't even say four easywords to me.

Rin glared at him. They're really hard to say!You had no problem saying it to Jin. Aren't I like Jin to you? A close friend?Yes and no...Sad, Jordan continued, So you don't see me as a friend?It's complicated, said Rin, weakening at Jordan's composure. It's not easy to

change from hating you to liking you to lo- Rin paused and stared at the ground. Youknow what I mean. I don't want to say it.

And the fact that I won't tell everyone else in school that we're friends?Rin nodded. Yes. All of that adds up.It's about Kristian, isn't it?No! cried Rin hastily. It's about you! When has it ever been about Kristian?

It has always been Kristian.Rin's eyes widened. No! Definitely not!Jin and I can tell, said Jordan, grabbing a hold of her arm and forcing her to come

with him. We can tell you've been thinking about him the entire time in there. You've beenthinking of him the entire car ride to Jin's house and at Jin's house. You're probably tellingyourself that you're not every step of the way, but really, you are.

No, said Rin fiercely. That's not true!Jordan stopped in front of his car. The reason why you're having terrible mood

swings... the reason why you've been emotional all day... the reason why you can't say acouple of simple words... are because of Kristian. Before Rin could argue back, Jordanclapped his hand over her mouth. You have to accept it. If you stay in denial, you'll never

move on. You'll never find someone new. You'll never be able to be yourself again.Rin tore his hand off her. You sound like Jin!That's because I'm trying to replace Jin!With eyes wide, Rin said, What...Remember our agreement? asked Jordan, sighing. The one about how we're not

going to burden Jin ever again because we're his friends? Because we care about him?Rin blinked. Oh... yes...That's what I'm here for, said Jordan, crouching down to match her height. She was

against the car now. I'm here for you, Ri-chan. You don't have to hide your feelings


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anymore. You can say it out loud. You can say it to me. And in return, you'll have to do thesame for me next time.

Rin's eyes began to water. J-Jordan.I'm listening.I... said Rin, shaking. I don't want to break up with Kristian!I know.

I know that we're never going to return to how we used to be and I can't stand it.Yeah.Rin frantically wiped the tears. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to separate

from him. I want to be with him no matter what.I understand.Even though I want to be with him, I know that as we are now, we can't be together.

We'll keep hurting each other. We'll keep saying and doing things we don't mean. We'll growapart and break up anyways.

Jordan pulled her into a hug. It's okay.I know all that and yet, said Rin, returning the hug. I can't stop crying and

thinking about him. I don't know what to do or think. I don't know what I'm going to do

tomorrow when I see him again. I don't know anymore!Rubbing her head, Jordan muttered, It's okay. You'll figure it out.Rin sniffed back some tears and continued, I wish I had never loved or dated him.That happens.I'm so miserable and hurt that I don't know what to do. I want to cry all night but I

know by morning nothing will change. I want to be stronger and forget about him entirely,but I know that's just a form of running away from everything. I can't find the right answer.Rin took a deep breath and continued. I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now orhow I'm supposed to act after the breakup. What should I do, Jordan? And if you tell me todo what my heart tells me, I'll kill you. My heart and mind don't know what to do right nowso please tell me something.Anything.

Jordan searched into her eyes. I love you, Ri-chan.Surprised, Rin asked to make sure, As a friend?Yes. As a valuable friend.I... said Rin, wiping her tears against her arm. I love you as a friend too, Jo-kun.Look at that, said Jordan, standing up straight and petting her on the head. It's

not so hard. You can move on from Kristian with time. You just proved that. You should behappy with what you've accomplished.

Relieved, Rin said, choking back tears, Thank you, Jordan.No problem, Ri-chan.After Rin climbed inside the car, she had closed her eyes and relaxed in her seat.

Jordan could tell from her expression that she had more to say, but for now, she was

perfectly content with how much she had ranted in the past five minutes. Even thoughJordan wanted Rin and Kristian to stay together before, he knew it was his duty to be therefor Rin through this breakup, even if it meant making an enemy out of Kristian. Jordanstared at her face for a few seconds before he turned on the engine.

So how was I? asked Jordan, rearing the car.What do you mean? asked Rin sleepily.How close was I to Jin at comforting you? asked Jordan playfully, driving out of the

parking lot.Rin shrugged. Not bad, but you're not quite there yet.


22/23

I need more practice, huh?Somehow, Rin managed to giggle. Yes. Most definitely.Smiling at her, Jordan answered, There will be a lot of opportunities then.Oh quiet you, Jordan, said Rin, turning on her side toward the window. You

shouldn't be so cocky all of a sudden.At her words, Jordan laughed loudly. Rin managed to smile as she dozed off to sleep

in his car, relaxing at the lemon scent she was beginning to get used to. Her thoughts werefilled with Kristian, but of the more pleasant memories of the time they had spenttogether.

**************************************************While Jin brushed Jezebelle's wet, long hair, Jezebelle was solely focused on playing

Call of Duty. They were both in Jin's room at around ten at night. Not only had Jezebellenoticed the sheets of Calculus papers with Jordan and Jin's handwriting when she hadgotten home, she noticed that Jin's entire room was messy. Either Jin and Jordan had a playdate and worked on Calculus of all things or Rin had been here to tutor them. Jezebellewas guessing the former since Jin was going on non-stop about Jordan with some Rin hereand there.

Can you stop talking about your boyfriend for one second? asked Jezebelle,pausing her video game.Jin stopped brushing her hair and blinked at her. Are you jealous, Fi?You played this game before, said Jezebelle, pointing at the screen. You know

how much concentration you need!Oh, sorry, Fi.I can't believe you asked for tutoring help from Rinny though, said Jezebelle,

playing with her strands of hair.I had to get her mind off things.Jezebelle lifted a brow. What happened to her this time?She and Kristian broke up this morning, said Jin, lowering his eyes.

Uh-huh, said Jezebelle, unaffected.That's all?Sure, said Jezebelle, picking up her controller again.You usually ask me for details, said Jin suspiciously.Oh sweetie, said Jezebelle, unpausing her game and keeping her eyes on the

screen. I know exactly what happened without being there. I'm simply that magical.Oh?Jezebelle smirked. Shiratori and Rinny grew distant because he had to work at that

bar and she had to tutor Jordan Greene.I shouldn't have told you that, said Jin, realizing how much time he spent telling

Jezebelle about everything that was going on around him every day.

Thanks to Jordan spending more time with Rinny, said Jezebelle, continuing as ifJin had never interrupted. Shiratori became insecure and most likely broke it off with herafter he caught Rinny tutoring Jordan without him knowing. How close am I?

Jordan and Rin-chan had an affair.Jezebelle pressed a button and turned her head to Jin. Oh really?I don't know the details, said Jin admittedly with a sorrowful expression. But Rin-

chan and Jordan had an affair and Kristian knew about it. Today, Rin-chan broke up withKristian officially after she convinced him to talk to her after their first semi-breakup.

How out of character for her to talk to him after a breakup.


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She matured a bit, said Jin, shrugging. The Rin-chan I know wouldn't do that.Affair, said Jezebelle in repetition. You do realize that Rinny, your childhood

friend, is not a virgin anymore, right?It hasn't fully sunk in, said Jin lamely, trying to erase the mental image from his

head. Jin put the brush down on the bed. But what about it, Fi?Why the fuck- Jezebelle left the room. -am I playing video games instead?

After Jezebelle banged his door shut, Jin hurriedly jumped off his bed and went afterher. Unfortunately, Jezebelle did what she did best. She locked the door to her room so hecouldn't approach her. After knocking on her door a couple of times, Jin decided to give upand talk to her about it tomorrow when she was less angry about his incompetence as aboyfriend. Jin sighed and headed back to his room, wondering if there was a way he couldmake both his parents and Jezebelle happy.

Meanwhile, Jezebelle giggled evilly to herself at the idea of Jin brooding over her forthe rest of the night. She lay on her bed and hugged her teddy bear close to her body.Really. Why should she care whether Rin was a virgin or not? Every girl was entitled to dowhatever they wanted with whoever they wanted. However, there was something elseJezebelle cared about a lot more at the moment.

Sitting up straight, Jezebelle called someone on her cell phone and after a quickgreeting, she said in a gossiping voice, Guess what I heard about Jordan Greene and RinHamada?

After Jezebelle was done, she dropped her cell phone on her bed with a satisfiedsmile on her face. She tugged on a strand of hair and decided that she was going to stayblonde for a while until she grew bored of the color. Once she got up and checked her facein the mirror, Jezebelle laid back down on her bed and hugged the teddy bear once more inbetween her legs.

Those two will hate me for a couple of days but, said Jezebelle, brushing herteddy bear fondly. They'll thank me for it later, not that I'm expecting anything. Jezebelletwirled a strand of hair around her finger out of interest. I can't wait for school tomorrow.

It's been so boring lately.Suddenly, Jezebelle reminded herself of why she was supposed to be upset at Jin inthe first place at the sound of Jin's father climbing up the stairs to his room. Shrugging itoff, Jezebelle decided not to ponder on that thought any longer. It wasn't of importanceright now and she had better things to keep herself occupied with. Still, Jezebelle didn'tlike the sound of this affair one bit. If Rin Hamada had taken a step further than she, therewas something wrong. Terribly wrong.

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