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InterpersonalInterpersonal

Conversations

Conversations

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ConversationsConversations

A locally managed A locally managed sequential sequential interchange of interchange of thoughts and thoughts and feelings between feelings between two or more two or more people. people. Interactive and Interactive and extemporaneous.extemporaneous.

Mic

roso

ft P

hoto

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ConversationsConversations (cont’d) (cont’d) Locally managedLocally managed: only those involved in : only those involved in

the conversation determine the topic.the conversation determine the topic. Sequentially organizedSequentially organized: have openings, : have openings,

middles, and closes.middles, and closes. InteractiveInteractive: Involve at least two people.: Involve at least two people. Largely extemporaneousLargely extemporaneous: Participants : Participants

have not prepared or memorized what have not prepared or memorized what they will be saying.they will be saying.

Let’s Have A

Party!

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Spontaneous Spontaneous interactions interactions between people, between people, with no planned with no planned agendaagenda

Conversational Conversational episodes in which episodes in which at least one at least one participant has a participant has a communication communication goalgoal

Casual Casual SocialSocial ConversationsConversations

Pragmatic Pragmatic Problem- Problem- Consideration Consideration ConversationsConversations

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Pragmatic Problem-Consideration Pragmatic Problem-Consideration ConversationsConversations

Skippinga stage

may provide

lesssatisfaction

1. Greeting and small talk

2. Topic introduction and statement of need for discussion

3. Information exchange and processing

4. Summarizing decisions and clarifying next steps

5. Formal closing

Characteristics of Conversations1. Formality – degree to which the conversation must

follow rules, procedures or rituals.2. Turn-Taking – alternating between speaker &

listener.a. Speaker can decide who’s nextb. Nonverbally signaling our desire to go nextc. We can self-select to go next by talking nextd. We can interrupt

3. Topic Change – method by which people introduce new topics

4. Talk Time – fair sharing of speaking time5. Scriptedness – common conversations that happen

so often they are routine, as if to follow a script (co-narration).

6. Conversational Audience – who’s conversing & eavesdropping.

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RulesRules

A prescription that indicates what behaviors are required, preferred, or prohibited in certain contexts

Conversational Ballgamesby: Nancy Masterson Sakamoto

Read “Diverse Voices”Pages 165-6

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Individual

Low-context

Masculine (rigid sex defined)

Low power-distance (downplay social distances)

Low uncertainty Avoidance (Tolerant)

United States

Cultural Connotations

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Cultural VariationsCultural VariationsUnited StatesUnited States

Low Context CulturesLow Context Cultures Participatory – Participatory –

everyone joins ineveryone joins in Include categorical Include categorical

words such as words such as certainly, absolutelycertainly, absolutely

Relevant comments Relevant comments that are directly to the that are directly to the pointpoint

Speaking one’s mindSpeaking one’s mind Silence is seldom goodSilence is seldom good

JapanJapan

High Context CulturesHigh Context Cultures Ritualized, formal & Ritualized, formal &

stucturedstuctured Include qualifiers such as Include qualifiers such as

maybe, perhapsmaybe, perhaps Indirect, ambiguous and Indirect, ambiguous and

less relevant commentsless relevant comments Creating harmonyCreating harmony Silence indicates Silence indicates

truthfulness, truthfulness, embarrassment, embarrassment, disagreementdisagreement

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Examples of Communication Examples of Communication RulesRules

If your mouth is full of food, then you If your mouth is full of food, then you must not talk.must not talk.

If someone is talking, then you must If someone is talking, then you must not interrupt.not interrupt.

If you can’t say something nice, then If you can’t say something nice, then you don’t say anything at all.you don’t say anything at all.

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MoreMoreCommunication RulesCommunication Rules

If you are spoken to, you must reply.If you are spoken to, you must reply. If more than 2 people are conversing, If more than 2 people are conversing,

then each should have equal time.then each should have equal time. If your conversational partner is If your conversational partner is

significantly older than you, then you significantly older than you, then you should refrain from using profanities should refrain from using profanities & obscenities.& obscenities.

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Even MoreEven More Communication Rules Communication Rules

If you are going to say something that you If you are going to say something that you don’t want overheard, then drop the don’t want overheard, then drop the volume of your voice.volume of your voice.

If you are being spoken to, you should If you are being spoken to, you should direct your gaze to the speaker.direct your gaze to the speaker.

Or, from a different cultural perspective, if Or, from a different cultural perspective, if you are being spoken to, you should look you are being spoken to, you should look at the floor.at the floor.

And, if another does not hear a question And, if another does not hear a question you asked, then you must repeat it.you asked, then you must repeat it.

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Discuss what communication rules you think are important.

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Cooperative PrincipleCooperative Principle

Conversations will be satisfying when the contributions made by conversationalists are in line with the purpose of the conversation.

We don’t like people who go off subject. . .

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Conversation MaximsConversation Maxims

QualityQualityTruthful Truthful

informationinformation

QuantityQuantityNot too Not too

much or too much or too littlelittle

RelevancyRelevancyRelated to Related to the topicthe topic

Manner Manner Specific, Specific,

organized, organized, and and

understandabunderstandablele

MoralityMoralityMeet Meet

moral/ethicmoral/ethical al

guidelinesguidelines

PolitenessPolitenessBe Be

courteouscourteous

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The Effective The Effective ConversationalistConversationalist

1.1. Presents quality information.Presents quality information.2.2. Provides free information to enable Provides free information to enable

others to talk.others to talk.3.3. Ask questions that are likely to Ask questions that are likely to

motivate responses.motivate responses.4.4. Credits sources.Credits sources.5.5. Practices turn-taking.Practices turn-taking.6.6. Maintains conversational coherence.Maintains conversational coherence.7.7. Practices politeness.Practices politeness.

Positive Facework

Messages affirming a person or person’s actions in the face of a difficult situation.

Used to protect another’s need to save face, ie. need to be respected, liked, or valued.

Positive Facework

To perform:1. Convey positive feelings about what

the other has said or done in the situation.

2. Express admiration for other’s efforts3. Acknowledge how difficult situation is4. Express belief other’s efforts will

endure or succeed.

Negative Facework

Using verbally indirect methods when offering information, opinions or advice.

Used to protect another’s negative face needs, ie. need for independence, autonomy and authority.

Negative Facework

To perform:1. Ask permission before making suggestions2. Verbally defer to opinions/preferences of

the other person3. Use tentative language to hedge & qualify

your position4. Offer suggestions indirectly by telling

stories or describing hypothetical options.

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PolitenessPoliteness PolitenessPoliteness -- relating to others in ways -- relating to others in ways

that meet their need to be appreciated.that meet their need to be appreciated. Positive face needsPositive face needs– desire to be – desire to be

appreciated and approved, liked and appreciated and approved, liked and honored.honored.

Negative face needsNegative face needs – desire to be free – desire to be free from imposition or intrusion.from imposition or intrusion.

Face-threatening actsFace-threatening acts (FTAs) – behavior (FTAs) – behavior that fails to meet positive or negative that fails to meet positive or negative face needsface needs

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Engage in Ethical DialogueEngage in Ethical Dialogue

Be:Be: AuthenticityAuthenticity - direct, honest, - direct, honest,

straightforward information and feelingsstraightforward information and feelings EmpathyEmpathy – understanding another’s – understanding another’s

point of view (without giving up yours)point of view (without giving up yours) ConfirmationConfirmation – affirming others as – affirming others as

unique individuals (does not imply unique individuals (does not imply approving of their behaviors)approving of their behaviors)

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Engage in Ethical Dialogue Engage in Ethical Dialogue (continued)(continued)

Be:Be: PresentPresent – taking time, avoiding – taking time, avoiding

distraction, being responsive, risking distraction, being responsive, risking attachmentattachment

EqualityEquality – treating conversational – treating conversational partners on the same level regardless partners on the same level regardless of status differences of status differences

Supportive climateSupportive climate – encourage – encourage participation by praising effortsparticipation by praising efforts

Activity Work GroupsActivity Work Groups

Marisa, Danielle, Samantha, & ChrisMarisa, Danielle, Samantha, & Chris Niki, Karina, Eric, Charity, & ErikaNiki, Karina, Eric, Charity, & Erika Briana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn & KamiBriana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn & Kami Jen, Michelyn, Elena, & Nate Jen, Michelyn, Elena, & Nate

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If there are absences, smaller groups will be redistributed by instructor.

Effective Communicator’sEffective Communicator’s““Bag of TricksBag of Tricks””

1.1. Is equipped with information Is equipped with information on a wide range to topics.on a wide range to topics.

2.2. Is willing to offer “extra” Is willing to offer “extra” information when questions information when questions are askedare asked

3.3. Asks questions.Asks questions.

4.4. Balances speaking and Balances speaking and listening. listening.

5.5. Uses conversational Uses conversational directors like “Don’t you directors like “Don’t you agree?” or “What do you agree?” or “What do you think?” which draw the think?” which draw the other person into the other person into the conversation.conversation.

6.6. Keeps interruptions at a Keeps interruptions at a minimum.minimum.

7.7. Makes sure that Makes sure that comments relate to comments relate to previous comments by previous comments by others.others.

8.8. Is polite.Is polite.

9.9. Is ethical, authentic, Is ethical, authentic, empathetic, supportive, empathetic, supportive, conforming, an active conforming, an active listener, and treats others listener, and treats others as equals.as equals.

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