Personal Leadership and EmpowermentLeadership│Empowerment │ Awareness │ Drive

Coaching to change behaviour and create personal empowerment and transformation Debbie Craig, MD: Catalyst Consulting and World Alive

• Can you change someone? • Why sustainable change is so hard • What are the barriers and motivators for change • The 7 aspects of self that impact our ability to change • The personal transformation cycle • The personal transformation pyramid • Coaching tools for change• Guidelines for sustainable change

Can people change?

autocratic (my way or the highway)

egotistical (I know best)

procrastination (tomorrow is another day)

poor time and priority management (I haven’t had

time)

workaholic (just one more e.mail)

healthy lifestyle (I’ll start next month/year)

lack of empathy (who cares?)

lack of awareness (what did I do?)

defensiveness (it wasn’t me)

Awareness

Insight

Willingness

Action

Changing behavior to change results

Only if you change your approach, can you change your results

Barriers and Motivators for change

• Fear of failure

• Fear of loss of credibility/image

• Fear of uncertainty

• Fear of not coping

• Fear of incompetence

• Fear of losing what you have

• Fear of being found out

Fears• Denial

• Excuses

• Avoiding feedback

• Ego

• Procrastination

• Aggression

• Avoidance/withdrawal

• Blame/criticism

Coping mechanisms

Power – wealth, success, prestige, power, freedom, personal power Achievement – tick list, contribution, purpose, recognition, self-actualisation Affiliation – acceptance, belonging, love, health

MotivatorsWhat’s

the pay-off?

7 Dynamics if you ask people to do something different

• People will feel awkward, ill-at-ease and self conscious

• People will think first about what they must give up

• People will feel alone even if everyone is going through the change

• People can handle only so much change

• People are at different levels of readiness for change

• People will be concerned that they don’t have enough resources

• If you take the pressure off people will revert back to old behaviour

Real change can be perceived as painful

Active

EmotionalResponse

PassiveTime

Receive ShockUnexpected

news

DepressionDisbelief

AngerWishing to change

the past

Acceptance

Hope

PositiveActivity

Understanding the language of the mind & the power of the subconscious

External Event

2 million bits/sec

134 bits/sec

FILTERS/PROGRAMMES

DeleteDistort

Generalize

ParadigmsLanguage

MemoriesDecisions

ValuesBeliefsAttitudes

Your interpretation of events

Your interpretation of the world

Your PARADIGM

Programs• 0-4 years old - 50% of our thinking is stamped in our brain• 4-8 years old - 30% “ “• 8-18 years old - 15% “ “

95% of programs is stamped in our heads

What actually happens

Feel “good” Event ?

Feel “bad”

Body reacts

Mind reactsWe

react

SURVIVINGCYCLE

When the conscious and sub-conscious work together, the outcome becomes a reality

RationalLogical

Thinker/analyzerWords & numbersWillpower (effort)

Get’s bored and tired easily

ConsciousThe power to think

EmotionalConceptual

Creator/imaginatorPictures & symbols

Personal power (effortless)Limitless energy

All memoryAll Beliefs/instincts/habits

Runs the body

Sub-ConsciousThe power to do

Conscious/Subconscious

Core Wounds

• We all have 5 primary wounds that stimulate intense emotional responses based on the fear and pain of it happening again

FEAR

Rejection

Abandonment

Humiliation

Betrayal

Injustice

Birth

Primary school

Finish school

First Job

Marriage / Family

Leadership\Career moves

ChildhoodUniversity

Appointed to Manager

Student days…

What actually happens

Feel “good” Event ? SURVIVING

CYCLE

How do we break the cycle?

Feel “good” Event Interpre

-tation

Option APerception of threat

Fight or flightAdrenaline

Subconscious reaction

NO CHOICE

Option BPerception of no threat

Reflect , analyse, choose before act

Conscious responseCHOICES

?VICTIM

VICTOR

Processing emotions

• What is the emotion trying to tell me?• Is it a boundary issue?• Is it an expectation issue?• Is it a difference in opinion, belief, value, approach, intent?• Is it affecting my self-esteem/self-image?• Is it an assumption or an incorrect belief – about myself/another?• WHAT HAS TO CHANGE?

e-motion = energy in motion

It is not what happens to us that

defines us ...

but how we choose to respond to what

happens

Changing behaviour requires deeper understanding

Physical

Behaviour

Thoughts and feelings

Experience

Talents

Personality

Values & beliefs

Results

Behaviour

Feelings

Thoughts

Beliefs

Decisions

Interpretation

Experiences

Feelings Perceptions

Prejudices

Anxieties

Assumptions

Attitudes

Mindset

Thinking styles

Beliefs

Changing behaviour – coaching tool

Physical

Behaviour

Thoughts and feelings

Experience

Talents

Personality

Values & beliefs

Results

Behaviour

Feelings

Thoughts

Beliefs

Decisions

Interpretation

Experiences

What result would you like to change?

What is the specific behaviour that is leading to those results?

What feelings might be leading to those behaviours?

What thoughts might be leading to those feelings?

What beliefs might be leading to those thoughts?

What decision did you make about yourself, others or the situation that might be leading to those beliefs?

What assumptions did you make about current or previous experiences that led to such decisions?

What assumptions, beliefs, decision could be more useful to achieve the results you want?

What thoughts, feelings, behaviours would this results in? How would this impact on your results in future?

What we attend to and intend to become reality

Power of the Spirit (SQ)

Purpose, Vision, Values and goals

Aligning body, emotions, mind, spirit

Intuition and inspiration

Power of the Emotions (EQ)

E-motion=energy in motionLetting go baggage

Emotional intelligenceWorking with the Inner child

Power of the Mind (IQ)

Power of subconscious, thoughts and words

Victim to victorPower of ChoiceAchieving goals

PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT

Power of the Physical (PQ)

Purpose of the bodyBody messages

Harnessing energyHealth and balance

- 23 -(c) World Alive 2010

AwareConscious response

UnawareUnconscious

response

Choices No Choice

Optimised Limited

Experiences

VICTOR VICTIM

Results

Behaviour

Feelings

Thoughts

Beliefs

Decisions

Interpretation

TOVictor

CourageCollaboration

(win-win)Action

Self-confidenceCommittedEffective

ResponsivePurposeful

FROMVictimFear

Competition (win-lose)Procrastination

Low self-esteemUncommitted

IneffectiveReactive

Lack of clarity/direction

Shift happens …