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Assertive Skills Workshop
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Objectives
Aim To develop confidence, and the practical skills, to communicate in
a more assertive way in the work place.
Course Objectives
By the end of the course, delegates will be able to: Recognise the verbal and non-verbal aspects of non-assertive
and aggressive behaviour and, demonstrate appropriate use ofassertive behaviour.
Project more confidence and demonstrate techniques on how tobe assertive with difficult people and difficult situations.
Demonstrate ways of making difficult requests and saying No
without feeling guilty.
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Direct Aggressive Behaviour
What are the
thoughts,
emotions,body language
and verbal
aspects?
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Indirect Aggressive Behaviour
What are the
thoughts,
emotions, bodylanguage and
verbal aspects?
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Non assertive/ Passive
behaviour
What are the
thoughts,
emotions, bodylanguage and
verbal aspects?
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Assertive behaviour
What are the
thoughts,
emotions, bodylanguage and
verbal aspects
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Causes
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Definitions:
ASSERTION - Protecting your rights, without violating the rights of
other people. Expressing your needs,wants and beliefs in a direct and
appropriate way
NON-ASSERTION- Failing to protect your rights, or doing so in a way
that can be easily disregarded. Expressing your needs, wants and beliefs
in an apologetic way.
AGGRESSION- Standing up for your rights, but doing so in a way that
violates the rights of others. Ignoring the needs, wants and beliefs ofothers.
What is meant by:
(Ken & Kate Back)
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Four groups. One behaviour per group. Discuss and
list your thoughts on the impact of the behaviour on:
Types of behaviour: Exercise
The outcome of the situation
You (short-term/long-term)
On others
The organisation
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Right & Responsibilities
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i
Affects
My Attitude
Their AttitudeTheir Behaviour
My Behaviour
ChoiceChoice
Ch
oic
e
Ch
oice
Affects
Affe
cts
My Attitude
Their AttitudeTheir Behaviour
My Behaviour
ChoiceChoice
Ch
oic
e
Ch
oice
Affects
Affe
cts
A
ffec
ts
Affects
i
W
h
c
h
i
W
h
c
h
Negative Attitude Produces
Negative Behaviors
Positive Attitude Produces
Positive Behaviors
W
h
c
h
Aff
ec
ts
W
h
c
h
i
i
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Control your inner voice
Exercise:
Control your Inner Voice:
Working in Pairs A - Talk about what you did last week-end
B - Listen and make a note of any intrusive thoughts
Change roles after 3 minutes
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Self- Esteem andSelf-Confidence
No one can make you feel inferior without
your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Self-esteem means believing in yourself
(C.Palladino)
Feeling good about yourself is not a luxury;
its an absolute necessity
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Visual 55%
Vocal 38%
Verbal 7%
Behave Right
100%
Research by: Albert Mehrabiam
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Eye Contact
Gestures
Facial Expressions
Spatial distance and Positioning
Behave Right
How you hold yourself physically
can reflect how you hold yourself
mentally. And how you hold yourselfis usually how others regard you.
People tend to treat you exactly as
you ask to be treated.
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Responsibilities ofAssertiveness
I am responsible for:
My own thoughts
My own feelings
My own behaviours
I respect:
The thoughts of others
The feelings of others
The behaviour of others
I will use words which are:
Honest
Direct Respectful
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Say it right
State what you want or think or what the problem isusing I realize that.
I understand that. I can see that..
Say what you think or feel I feel that. I thinkthat.
Saying what you want or suggest a solution using
I want Id like. How about
Move towards a workable compromise by asking for aresponse using What do you think
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What kind of requests do you often have to make of others at work?
Do you often find it difficult to make these requests - especially if its your
Manager/Supervisor that your asking?
Do you often come across as tentative or abrupt when making the request?
Making a difficult request :
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Examine your beliefs about making the request;
Think about wording, your voice and non-verbal aspects;
Dont apologise profusely;
Be direct and keep it short, Dont justify yourself; Give a reason for the request;
Dont try selling your request or playing on peoples friendship;
Dont take a refusal personally, respect the other persons right to say No
Tips:
Making a difficult request:
(K&K Back)
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Have you recently been in a situation where you
have had you say No to a request?
How did you say it ?
What made it so difficult?
How did you feel afterwards?
Saying No without feelingGuilty:
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Saying No without feeling
Guilty:
Examine your beliefs;
Keep the reply short , use the word No
Give the real reason for refusing;
Avoid I cant phrases and dont apologise profusely;
Acknowledge the requester;
Identify yourself with the decision - not rules, precedents;
If you need it - ask for clarification or more time to think;
Think about your non-verbal communication.
Tips:
(K&K Back)
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Saying No without feeling
Guilty:
If the requester becomes persistent:
Repeat your refusal;
Dont search for better reasons - stick to the
original reason.
Or, use the Broken-Record Technique
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Dealing with Put downs
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Objectives
Aim To develop confidence, and the practical skills, to communicate in
a more assertive way in the work place.
Course Objectives
By the end of the course, delegates will be able to: Recognise the verbal and non-verbal aspects of non-assertive
and aggressive behaviour and, demonstrate appropriate use ofassertive behaviour.
Project more confidence and demonstrate techniques on how tobe assertive with difficult people and difficult situations.
Demonstrate ways of making difficult requests and saying No
without feeling guilty.
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