Assertive Slides S

8/9/2019 Assertive Slides S

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Assertive Skills Workshop


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Objectives

Aim To develop confidence, and the practical skills, to communicate in

a more assertive way in the work place.

Course Objectives

By the end of the course, delegates will be able to: Recognise the verbal and non-verbal aspects of non-assertive

and aggressive behaviour and, demonstrate appropriate use ofassertive behaviour.

Project more confidence and demonstrate techniques on how tobe assertive with difficult people and difficult situations.

Demonstrate ways of making difficult requests and saying No

without feeling guilty.


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Direct Aggressive Behaviour

What are the

thoughts,

emotions,body language

and verbal

aspects?


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Indirect Aggressive Behaviour

What are the

thoughts,

emotions, bodylanguage and

verbal aspects?


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Non assertive/ Passive

behaviour

What are the

thoughts,


verbal aspects?


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Assertive behaviour

What are the

thoughts,


verbal aspects


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Causes


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Definitions:

ASSERTION - Protecting your rights, without violating the rights of

other people. Expressing your needs,wants and beliefs in a direct and

appropriate way

NON-ASSERTION- Failing to protect your rights, or doing so in a way

that can be easily disregarded. Expressing your needs, wants and beliefs

in an apologetic way.

AGGRESSION- Standing up for your rights, but doing so in a way that

violates the rights of others. Ignoring the needs, wants and beliefs ofothers.

What is meant by:

(Ken & Kate Back)


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Four groups. One behaviour per group. Discuss and

list your thoughts on the impact of the behaviour on:

Types of behaviour: Exercise

The outcome of the situation

You (short-term/long-term)

On others

The organisation


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Right & Responsibilities


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i

Affects

My Attitude

Their AttitudeTheir Behaviour

My Behaviour

ChoiceChoice

Ch

oic

e

Ch

oice

Affects

Affe

cts

My Attitude

Their AttitudeTheir Behaviour

My Behaviour

ChoiceChoice

Ch

oic

e

Ch

oice

Affects

Affe

cts

A

ffec

ts

Affects

i

W

h

c

h

i

W

h

c

h

Negative Attitude Produces

Negative Behaviors

Positive Attitude Produces

Positive Behaviors

W

h

c

h

Aff

ec

ts

W

h

c

h

i

i


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Control your inner voice

Exercise:

Control your Inner Voice:

Working in Pairs A - Talk about what you did last week-end

B - Listen and make a note of any intrusive thoughts

Change roles after 3 minutes


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Self- Esteem andSelf-Confidence

No one can make you feel inferior without

your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Self-esteem means believing in yourself

(C.Palladino)

Feeling good about yourself is not a luxury;

its an absolute necessity


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Visual 55%

Vocal 38%

Verbal 7%

Behave Right

100%

Research by: Albert Mehrabiam


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Eye Contact

Gestures

Facial Expressions

Spatial distance and Positioning

Behave Right

How you hold yourself physically

can reflect how you hold yourself

mentally. And how you hold yourselfis usually how others regard you.

People tend to treat you exactly as

you ask to be treated.


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Responsibilities ofAssertiveness

I am responsible for:

My own thoughts

My own feelings

My own behaviours

I respect:

The thoughts of others

The feelings of others

The behaviour of others

I will use words which are:

Honest

Direct Respectful


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Say it right

State what you want or think or what the problem isusing I realize that.

I understand that. I can see that..

Say what you think or feel I feel that. I thinkthat.

Saying what you want or suggest a solution using

I want Id like. How about

Move towards a workable compromise by asking for aresponse using What do you think


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What kind of requests do you often have to make of others at work?

Do you often find it difficult to make these requests - especially if its your

Manager/Supervisor that your asking?

Do you often come across as tentative or abrupt when making the request?

Making a difficult request :


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Examine your beliefs about making the request;

Think about wording, your voice and non-verbal aspects;

Dont apologise profusely;

Be direct and keep it short, Dont justify yourself; Give a reason for the request;

Dont try selling your request or playing on peoples friendship;

Dont take a refusal personally, respect the other persons right to say No

Tips:

Making a difficult request:

(K&K Back)


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Have you recently been in a situation where you

have had you say No to a request?

How did you say it ?

What made it so difficult?

How did you feel afterwards?

Saying No without feelingGuilty:


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Saying No without feeling

Guilty:

Examine your beliefs;

Keep the reply short , use the word No

Give the real reason for refusing;

Avoid I cant phrases and dont apologise profusely;

Acknowledge the requester;

Identify yourself with the decision - not rules, precedents;

If you need it - ask for clarification or more time to think;

Think about your non-verbal communication.

Tips:

(K&K Back)


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Saying No without feeling

Guilty:

If the requester becomes persistent:

Repeat your refusal;

Dont search for better reasons - stick to the

original reason.

Or, use the Broken-Record Technique


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Dealing with Put downs


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Objectives

Aim To develop confidence, and the practical skills, to communicate in

a more assertive way in the work place.

Course Objectives

By the end of the course, delegates will be able to: Recognise the verbal and non-verbal aspects of non-assertive

and aggressive behaviour and, demonstrate appropriate use ofassertive behaviour.

Project more confidence and demonstrate techniques on how tobe assertive with difficult people and difficult situations.

Demonstrate ways of making difficult requests and saying No

without feeling guilty.

Assertive Slides S

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