WHAT’S HAPPENING!

THURSDAY, JUNE 20: MUSIC IN THE PARK, 7:30 pm-9pm at Chowchilla Veterans Memorial Park, Robertson Blvd & 6th St. Chowchilla. Featuring: Donny Milsap; Honky Tonk Country .

FRIDAY, JUNE 21: MOVIES IN THE PARK, movies start at sunset. at Chowchilla Veterans Memorial Park, Robertson Blvd & 6th St. Chowchilla. Featuring: How to Train Your Dragon movie.

SATURDAY, JUNE 22: STAR PARTY AT MILLERTON LAKE, at 7pm. The Central Valley Astronomers will have telescopes to view the night sky. Observe planets, stars, galaxies. At Boat Ramp Parking, 5290 Millerton Rd. Friant. (559) 822-2332x107

SUNDAY, JUNE 23: and WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, MADERA FLEA MARKET, 6am-3pm, at Madera County Fairgrounds, 1805 Cleveland Ave. Info (559) 673-5800.

TUESDAY, JUNE 25: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF FAMILY SERVICES (NAFS),- 6:30pm-7:30pm. FREE educational seminar on estate planning. Learn how to leave behind your family legacy. Holiday Inn Express-2290 Marketplace Dr. Madera.

HEART OF CALIFORNIA QUILTERS GUILD – MONTHLY MEETING, Frank Bergon Senior Center, Madera. Doors open 6pm. Meeting starts 6:30pm. Guests welcome. ( 4th Tuesday of every month).

FRIDAY, JUNE 28: FRIDAY NIGHT GOSPEL SING, 6pm, 1930 Modoc Street, Madera All are welcome. Donations are accepted. Contact: Ted Beck (559)674-2650.

FRIDAY, JULY 5: MOVIES IN THE PARK, movie starts at 8pm-10pm Lions Town & Country Park, 2300 Howard Rd Madera. Featuring: Hotel Transylvania 3 movie.

FRIDAY, JULY 12: EVENING DANCE SOCIAL, 6:30pm-9:30pm at the Frank Bergon Senior Center 238 S D St, Madera. Dance to a variety of music featuring live performances by the Mellowtones every 2nd Friday of each month. Info:673-4293

TO POST EVENTS Call: (559) 760-8267, or (559) 683-8309 Email: info@thechatter.org

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The CHATTER is printed courtesy of Central California Public Service Broadcasters and its advertisers. Office: 46174 Skyline Ridge Road, Coarsegold, CA 93614

Cell: (559) 760-8267 • Email: info@thechatter.org

CITY OF MADERA PARKS AND COMMUNITY SERVICES—JOHN WELLS YOUTH CENTER presents Summer Themes June 10th thru August 2nd, Mon-Sat, 11am-7pm. Plenty of activities with games, arts and crafts, swimming, music, and more! Open for grades K-8th 701 E. 5th St. Madera. Info: (559) 661-5495.

JOIN THE 2020 CENSUS TEAM,

earn extra income while helping

your community! Supervisory and

Non-Supervisory positions availa-

ble in Madera County. $16.50 -$18.00 per

hour. Apply online: 2020census.gov/jobs.

More info: 1-855-562-2020.

HINDS HOSPICE THRIFT STORE-CHOWCHILLA -NEEDS VOLUNTEERS. Got extra time on your hands? Help support the Madera community. For more info: 125 N D St, Madera , (559) 892-2120

SUMMER BEGINS-, Friday, June 21, the longest day of the year marks the beginning of Summer in

the Northern Hemisphere depending on time zones. It is also known as the Summer Solstice.

CARTY COMMUNITY CENTER –BLOOD DRIVE, Sunday, June 23, 2-4pm at 609 Robertson Blvd. Chowchilla. For more Info: (559) 260-2914.

HEART OF CALIFORNIA QUILTERS GUILD – MONTHLY MEETING, Tuesday, June 25, Doors open 6pm. Meeting starts 6:30pm. Frank Bergon Senior Center. 238 S. D St. Madera. (Meetings are 4th Tuesday of every month).

MADERA CITY COUNCIL REGULAR MEETING, Wednesday, July 3, 6pm. At City Hall –205 W. 4th St. Madera. More info: (559) 661-5405.

TODAY’S QUOTE: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

Dad was angry when he saw that his son scored a zero in math. "Son, can you explain this to me?" "Well dad, the teacher didn't have any stars left to give me, so she gave me a moon!"

A blind man walks into a store with a seeing eye dog. Much to the store owner’s surprise the blind man picks up the dog by its tail and starts swinging it around over his head. Puzzled, and a bit upset the store owner walks over to the man and says, “excuse me sir can I help you.” “No thank you” the blind man replies “I’m just looking around!”

If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food. I could almost afford a small popcorn.

BUMPER SNICKERS - My grand-mother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, ‘Sexy Senior Citizen.’ It’s hard to think of my dear old granny in that way. What is she doing? Out entering wet shawl contests? Wheelchair racing? Teeth swapping? Makes me wonder where she got that ten-dollar bill she gave me for my birthday.

Success is a series of small wins.

Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?" His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."

A farmer lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he loved dearly. One day the dog died and the farmer went to the parish priest, inquir-ing if a mass could be for the dead pet. Father Patrick told the farmer: "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." The farmer said: "Thanks, I'll go right away. By the way, do you think 50,000 is enough to donate for such a service?" to which Father Patrick replied: "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"

A couple walked into a cheap looking restaurant. As they were about to sit down, they noticed there were crumbs on the seat, after cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table they sat down. A waitress came over asking them what they wanted, “I’ll just take a coffee” said the man, “me too” said the lady “and make sure the cup is clean.” The waitress returned with their drinks “OK” she said placing down their cups “now, which one of you wanted the clean cup.”

“Hey guys who wants to hear a blonde joke?” Said a blind old man after settling himself down on a stool in the bar. The question was met with dead silent. After a second pause, the bartender walked up to the blind fella and put his face right up to his nose and said in a deep menacing voice. “I’m blond and I don’t appreciate blonde jokes! My wife is right next to me, she’s blonde and she doesn’t either appreciate blonde jokes. And best of all, on your right is a blond bodybuilder who I’m pretty sure doesn’t like blonde jokes either! Would you still like to say that joke?” “HECK NO!” Said the blind fella, “NOT IF I’M GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE DARN JOKE THAT MANY TIMES!

What did the pig say at the beach on

a hot summer's day? I'm bacon!

Many people believe that the five day week was invented by Robinson Crusoe, as he always managed to get all his work done by Friday.

Q. What's the best kind of sandwich for the beach? A. Peanut butter and jellyfish.

One night a lady with a black eye

stumbled into a police station. She

told the desk sergeant that she

heard a noise in her back yard and

went to investigate. The next thing

she knew, she was hit in the face and

knocked out cold. An officer was

sent to her house to investigate, and

he returned a few minutes later, also

with a black eye. "Did you get hit by

the same attacker?" his captain

asked. “No, sir," he replied. "I

stepped on the same rake."

What do you call a dog on the beach

in the Summer? A hot dog!

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented, "These are very good! You must have a good camera." He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home, he said, "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."

ANIMAL FACTS - Dogs that have been

spayed or neutered live longer than

dogs who are intact.

There’s no way I was born to just pay bills and die.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant, shouldn’t you be called the waiter?

Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.

Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

Ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?

BETCHA DIDN’T KNOW - It is common knowledge to know that everyone has a unique fingerprint but did you know that everyone also has a unique tongue print?

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me'. 'So, you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going

TOTALLY USELESS FACTS: 11% of the world is left-handed.

My three-year-old sat in the bathroom with me, watching as I removed my dentures and brushed them. After a few minutes, he asked, “Can you take your ears off too?”…

A sweet little boy surprised his grand-mother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously wait-ed to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?" Her grand-son replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

One day, two guys Frank and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Frank then said, “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob then replies, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”

While filling out an application for employment, the applicant came to a question which asked, "What is your Church Preference?" The man, not being a person of extraordinary intelligence thought the question for some time because he really needed the job. He wanted to impress the employer and answered very confidently, "I prefer a red brick church."

EVER WONDER? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Q. I have an extra-large nose, three eyes and 4 missing teeth. What am I? A. Ugly

GIRLIE WISDOM! One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. * My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. * The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.