The Scallion

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Welcome, citizens of Sunset!

For those of you who have been waiting for an eternity to see the re-

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Happy reading!

Amy MoralesCo-Editor in Chief

Amy WangCo-Editor in Chief

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Co-Editors Amy Wang a.k.a Night-wing & Amy Morales a.k.a Black Canary reveal their true identities. Many had already guessed that they were not mere mortals.

Got a special Senior in yourlife? Give them a shout-out in the Senior Edition of The Scroll.Watch for details in www.thesunsetscroll.com.

The Scroll plans to debut a new

telepathic model of publishing news

on May 15, which, when fully oper-

ational, will supplement current print

DQG�GLJLWDO�SXEOLFDWLRQV� The technology needed for such a

monumental innovation was discov-

HUHG�E\�D�WHDP�RI�$PHULFDQ�DUFKHROR-

JLVWV�LQ�D�ÁRDWLQJ�EODFN�RUE�ORFDWHG�LQ�DQ�DQFLHQW�3HUXYLDQ�WHPSOH��$UFKHRO-ogists believe the device to have ex-

traterrestrial origins and the method

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(ORLND� 5R]HQGDDO�� ´:KLOH� WKH� 8�6��and Peruvian governments were pre-

RFFXSLHG� ÀJKWLQJ� RYHU�ZKR� KDG� WKH�right to the artifact, a staff member

secretly spirited the orb back to The

6FUROO�WR�EH�SXW�WR�EHWWHU�XVH�µ Such an innovation is the result

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year, after piloting a predominantly

digital platform, staff members de-

cided to venture into telepathy and

become leaders in the telepathic in-

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dible nature of the advertisements,

ZH� SURMHFW� KHDY\� GHPDQG� DQG� HYHQ�heavier sales of the advertisements,”

VD\V�SURMHFW�PDQDJHU�%U\FH�3DWHO��7KH�6RXWK�$PHULFDQV·�PHWKRG�UH-TXLUHV�WKH�XVH�RI�D�OLYH�KXPDQ�EURDG-

FDVWHU��DQG��VR�IDU��VXFK�D�UHTXLUHPHQW�has incurred three fatalities (victims

included two humans and one in-

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atomically accurate” cast-and-plaster

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man broadcaster to accommodate this

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ductivity of each member at the end

of the month, and the individual who

is deemed to be the least productive

will be forced to become the new

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in experiments deemed ‘grossly inhu-

PDQH·�E\�WKH�,QWHUQDWLRQDO�&RPPLWWHH�on Ethics and are currently banned by

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voiced complaints, outlining concerns

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principles, intrusion of privacy and

the possibility of telepathic broad-

casting posing a distraction during

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der maximum-security lockdown in a

government facility, not in the hands

of some random teen-age civilians in

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ODFN�RI�XVXDO�KRPHZRUN��*UHHQ�ZDV�IRXQG�GHDG�MXVW�RXWVLGH�RI�2QH�+DOO�near the student parking lot; she was unable to make

LW�WR�KHU�FDU�EHIRUH�WKH�LQFLGHQW��*UHHQ�ZDV�VHHQ�ODVW�with textbooks and notebooks in hand, unsure about

ZKDW�WR�GR�ZLWK�WKHP�� ´,·YH�QHYHU�VHHQ�D�VWXGHQW�VR�FRQIXVHG�µ�VDLG�,%� %LRORJ\� WHDFKHU� *UHJ� 3LOOHWWH�� ´6KH� ZDV� MXVW�ZDONLQJ�DURXQG�WKH�KDOOV�LQ�DLPOHVV�FLUFOHV��,�JXHVV�,� GLGQ·W� UHDOL]H� WKH� LPPHQVH� LPSDFW�RI�KDYLQJ�QR�KRPHZRUN�RQ�DOO�WKHVH�VWXGLRXV�NLGV�µ��,%�VWXGHQWV�PDLQWDLQ�D�EXV\�ZRUN�VFKHGXOH�ZLWK�homework hours varying anywhere from two to

HLJKW�KRXUV�HYHU\GD\�GD\�DIWHU�VFKRRO��$OO�,%�WHDFKHUV�GHFLGHG�WR�ZLWKKROG�IURP�JLYLQJ�KRPHZRUN�IRU�RQH�GD\��7KH\�FODLPHG�LW�ZDV�IRU�D�QHZ�,%�3V\FKRORJ\�H[SHULPHQW��EXW�PRVW�VWXGHQWV�

UHSRUW�WKDW�LW�ZDV�D�FUXHO�MRNH�WR�JHW�D�ODXJK�� ´,W�ZDV�IRU�D�SV\FKRORJ\�H[SHULPHQW��,�SURP-

LVH��:KDWHYHU�WKRVH�VWXGHQWV�WHOO�\RX�LV�IDOVH��7KH\�DUH�O\LQJ�µ�VDLG�,%�3V\FKRORJ\�WHDFKHU�$QQH�$PHV��´+RZHYHU��,�GR�IHHO�UHDOO\�EDG�QRZ��,�GLGQ·W�NQRZ�WKH�VWXGHQWV�ZRXOG�EH�VR�VKRFNHG��0\�FRQGROHQFHV�JR�RXW�WR�KHU�IDPLO\�µ��7KH�VWDWH�LV�QRZ�ÀOLQJ�D�PDQGDWH�WR�WKH�VFKRRO�WR�HQVXUH�WKH�UHLQVWDOODWLRQ�RI�KRPHZRUN�DW�6XQVHW��The state also strongly recommends an extra dos-

age of homework for a week in order to ensure a

IXOO�UHFRYHU\�IURP�WKH�VKRFN� There are no new reports of other deaths, but

many dazed students are still being found parading

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Natalie Valent

Wonderwoman

Amy Wang

Nightwing

IB textbooks lay scattered around the outline of the dead IB student Monica Green. Her body was found yesterday a!ernoon by a group of juvenile delin-quents ful"lling their community service hours. Photo by Hutton Sutherland

The Scroll�WR�SLORW�QHZ�WHOHSDWKLF�SODWIRUP

� � � 8QH[SHFWHG� IDPH� DQG� VXFFHVV�came to The Scroll as the switch to

a digital newspaper brought in new

DXGLHQFHV� DQG� DGYHUWLVHUV�� 1RZ��with a bloated budget and bloated

egos, the staff members have de-

FLGHG� WR�TXLW� WKHLU� MREV�EHFDXVH� WKH�wealth and fame has proven to be

RYHUZKHOPLQJ��7KH�LQÁDWHG�EXGJHW�ZDV�D�UHVXOW�RI�the profound success of the online

newspaper, which received over one

PLOOLRQ�KLWV�SHU�PLQXWH�DQG�RYHU��LQTXLULHV�IURP�FRPSDQLHV�DVNLQJ�IRU�DG�VSDFHV�RQ�WKH�ZHEVLWH�� ´$W�RQH�SRLQW�� WKH�ZRUOG�IDPRXV�VRGD�FRPSDQ\�&RFD�&ROD�FRQWDFWHG�us about purchasing an advertise-

ment on the website,” says adviser

(ORLND�5R]HQGDDO��´7KDW·V�ZKHQ�ZH�DOO�NQHZ�WKDW�ZH�KDG�KLW�LW�ELJ�µ Many staff writers complain of

constant paparazzi invasions, inces-

VDQW�DXWRJUDSK�UHTXHVWV�DQG�DQ�RYHU-powering wave of younger Sunset

VWXGHQWV� ZLVKLQJ� WR� WDNH� WKH� FODVV��Big newspapers, like The New York Times, often pester the newspaper

staff members for story ideas in an

effort to attract more bigger audienc-

HV�IRU�WKHLU�SXEOLFDWLRQV��7KH�H[WUD�money, however, allowed the staff

to invest capital in other ventures

that were otherwise unavailable due

WR�EXGJHW�UHVWULFWLRQV��´,W�VWDUWHG�ZLWK�VPDOO�VFDOH�SXU-chases like empty classrooms and

small businesses,” says copy editor

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,W� ZDV� MXVW� VR� LPSUDFWLFDO� WR� KDYH�water where there were so many

FRPSXWHUV�µ The Scroll staff began to resist

the fame and the money once they

UHDOL]HGLW� JRW� RXW� RI� FRQWURO�� 7KH�unexpected recognition for the cut-

WLQJ�HGJH�MRXUQDOLVP�RI�WKH�SXEOLFD-tion proved to be too much to han-

GOH� The staff will begin to end their

UXQV�RYHU�WKH�QH[W�PRQWK��7KH�ZKROH�staff is leaving to make room a reg-

ular life for themselves, and to make

URRP�IRU�D�QHZ�JURXS�RI�MRXUQDOLVWV�WR�ÀOO�WKHLU�VKRHV�� ´:H� ZLOO� SXEOLVK� RQH� PRUH� LV-sue of The Scroll� DQG� WKHQ� LW·V� WKH�end for these staff members,” says

5R]HQGDDO��´:H�ZRXOG�ZUDS�WKLQJV�up sooner but we have to wait for

$PHOLD�7XUQTXLVW� WR�JHW� EDFN� IURP�+DZDLL��:H�VHQW�KHU�WKHUH�WR�FRYHU�D�story about corruption, but in hind-

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gon legislature concluded the discovered budget

PRQH\�ZRXOG� EH� EHVW� VSHQW� RQ� �� QHZ� 6OLS� Q·�6OLGHV�IRU�SXEOLF�VFKRROV�� ´:H�FRQVLGHUHG�XVLQJ�WKH�PRQH\�RQ�VFKRRO�supplies, but Walmart had a great sale on Slip

¶Q�6OLGHV�µ�VDLG�%ROWRQ��´6LQFH�WKH�6OLS�¶Q�6OLGHV�ZHUH�ÀYH�SHUFHQW�RII�IRU�D�OLPLWHG�WLPH��ZH�NQHZ�we had to take advantage of such a great deal and

EX\�DV�PDQ\�DV�ZH�FRXOG�DIIRUG�µ��6WXGHQWV�DQG�WHDFKHUV�IHDU�WKH�2UHJRQ�6WDWH�6HQDWH�LV�RXW�RI�WRXFK�ZLWK�WRGD\·V�\RXWK��0DQ\�believe the budget money could have been better

DOORFDWHG�WR�LPSURYH�WKH�TXDOLW\�RI�SXEOLF�VFKRRO�HGXFDWLRQ� Legislators claim the Slip ‘n Slides will

be incorporated into the high school physical ed-

ucation programs, but many are unsure of the

HIIHFWLYHQHVV�RI�WKH�GHFLVLRQ��0DQ\�EHOLHYH�WKDW�Slip ‘n Slides are outdated and that many better

DOWHUQDWLYHV�H[LVW��´,�FDQ·W�EHOLHYH�WKH\·G�ZDVWH�PRQH\�RQ�6OLS�¶Q�Slides when they could be using it for something

cooler, like trampolines,” said senior Ethan Bar-

WRQ��´6OLS�¶Q�6OLGHV�DUH�VR��µ�� 7KH�2UHJRQ� OHJLVODWXUH�KDG�� OHIW�DIWHU�SXUFKDVLQJ�WKH�6OLS�¶Q�6OLGHV��7R�DSSHDVH�XSVHW�teachers, they spent the remaining budget money

RQ�6FDQWURQ�VKHHWV�DQG�VFHQWHG�PDUNHUV�� :KLOH�VRPH�WHDFKHUV�ZHUH�VDWLVÀHG�ZLWK� WKH�amount of money spent on school supplies,

many others were disappointed that the Senate

allocated more money to entertainment than to

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NEWS

Anamika Vaughan

Mermaid Man

Swarmed by yearbook paparazzi, the Sunset Scroll sta# members show o# their best sco#. $at was their last photoshoot before resigning.

2UHJRQ�VHQDWRU�ÀQGV�VFKRRO�EXGJHW�PRQH\�LQ�FRDW�SRFNHW��VSHQGV�RQ�VOLS�Q�VOLGH

Before sending the new Slip ‘n Slides to Beaverton high schools, Oregon State Senator Joel Bolton tests them out to make sure they’re in working condition. $e Slip ‘n Slides will be used in a new PE program next school year.

Photo courtesy of h2ohno.net

Bryce Patel

Professor X

The Scroll�VWDII�XQDEOH�WR�KDQGOH�IDPH��PRQH\��GHFLGHV�WR�UHVLJQ

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6XQVHW�LQWURGXFHV�,%�3(Soraya Go

Jak-Jak

Sunset faculty will be unveiling a

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dents are continuously challenged by

the intense workload of making copies

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downs in the past year due to the unex-

SHFWHG�GHPDQGV�RI�EHLQJ�D�7$��6XQVHW�administration decided that action was

QHHGHG��´,W·V�VLPSO\�WRR�PXFK�IRU�D�VWXGHQW�WR�WDNH�RQ�RXW�RI�WKH�EOXH�µ�VDLG�$VVLV-WDQW�3ULQFLSDO�&KULV�%LFN��´,W·V�RXU� UH-sponsibility to prepare students for the

challenges that await them in life, and

we determined this to be the necessary

FRXUVH�µ� � � � �'HVSLWH� VHYHUH� EXGJHW� FXWV�� URRP�ZDV�IRXQG�LQ�WKH�FRXUVH�OLVW�IRU�WKH�,QWUR�WR�7$�FODVV��7KH�LQWULFDFLHV�RI�PDNLQJ�FRSLHV� DQG� JUDGLQJ� TXL]]HV� UHTXLUH� DW�least one semester for even a gifted stu-

GHQW�WR�EHJLQ�WR�XQGHUVWDQG��&ODVVHV�WKDW�DUH�JHQHUDOO\�UHFRJQL]HG�as complex received little consideration

for an introductory class when com-

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LFV� VXFK� DV� ODZ�� EXVLQHVV� RU� MRXUQDO-ism are simply unnecessary,” said an

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ed some sort of introductory level class

ZDV�7$�LQJ�µ

Alex Groshans

Dirty Bubble

� ,QWHUQDWLRQDO� %DFFDODXUHDWH� �,%�� VWXGHQWV�forgot the concept of sleeping after months of

mentally grueling and time-consuming work-

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thusiastically on other possible aspects of the

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ROG� KLVWRU\� WH[WERRNV�µ� VDLG� 9DOOXUL�� ´7KRVH��activities would definitely make me fall

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concerning coffee shortages and claims that

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Junior Katie Waldrip struggles to copy a work-sheet. Her di%culties are not unique for "rst-year teacher’s assistants. Photo by Hutton Sutherland

Working in the early morning hours, senior Emma Downey works on her homework. Future IB stu-dents can look forward to ‘sleepology 101’ begin-ning fall of 2036.

Starting next school year, Sun-

set High School will be offering

DQ� ,QWHUQDWLRQDO� %DFFDODXUHDWH��,%��3K\VLFDO�(GXFDWLRQ� FODVV�� ,W�will be mandatory for all students

to take and pass the class in order

WR�JUDGXDWH� The course will include a boot

camp unit to get the students into

VKDSH��6WXGHQWV�ZLOO�DOVR�KDYH�WR�swim through a tank of electric

eels, along with participating in

SDUNRXU�DQG�]XPED�� ´=XPED�VRXQGV�NLQG�RI� IXQ�EXW�,�GRQ·W�NQRZ�DERXW�WKH�UHVW�µ�VD\V�MXQLRU�'DQLHO�%DH��´,�ZRXOG�rather eat an eel than swim with

RQH�µ��$V�D�ÀQDO�UHTXLUHPHQW�DW�WKH�end of each semester, each stu-

dent will be expected to complete

DQ�REVWDFOH�FRXUVH��7KH�FRPSOH[-

ities of these courses will be in-

spired by the hit television show

´:LSHRXW�µ To some parents, this seemed

like an extreme change to the

JUDGXDWLRQ� UHTXLUHPHQWV�� 7KH�issue was discussed at a school

board meeting shortly before it

was voted in as a new installment

RI�6XQVHW·V�3(�SURJUDP�� ´3DUNRXU"� &UDZOLQJ� WKURXJK�mud? Some of these things sound

more like military boot camp ac-

tivities than activities for a high

school PE class,” says a Sunset

SDUHQW��´,�KHDUG�WKDW� WKH\·UH�DOVR�going to make students eat mag-

JRWV�OLNH�LQ�¶)HDU�)DFWRU·�LQ�RUGHU�WR�EXLOG�FKDUDFWHU�µ While board members denied

WKH�´)HDU�)DFWRUµ�UXPRU��WKH\�GLG�DUJXH�IRU�LPSOHPHQWLQJ�DQ�,%�3(�class, stating that the way to make

$PHULFD�D�KHDOWKLHU�FRXQWU\�LV�WR�VWDUW�DW�VFKRRO�� ´7KLV�ZLOO� NHHS�RXU�NLGV� LQ�shape, which will also be bene-

ÀFLDO� WR� WKHLU� DFDGHPLF� SHUIRU-mance,” says PE teacher Kevin

/RYLQJV��´:H�DOO�NQRZ�NLGV�QHHG�some physical outlet in order to

NHHS�WKHLU�KHDGV�RQ�µ��$GGLWLRQDO�DUJXPHQWV�LQFOXGH�that it would help with student

discipline and help the students

ERQG�ZLWK�HDFK�RWKHU��,%�3(�ZLOO�EH�D�\HDU�ORQJ�FODVV��,W�ZLOO�EH�DYDLODEOH�WR�WDNH�GXULQJ�DQ\�IRXU�\HDUV�RI�D�VWXGHQW·V�HGX-

FDWLRQ�

1HZ�LQWUR�WR�7�$��FRXUVH

Hannah Dodge

Flash Gordon

Shreyans Khunteta

Deadpool

$O�4DHGD�H[SUHVVHG�LWV�VXSSRUW�RI�WKH�1DWLRQDO�5LIOH�$VVRFLDWLRQ��15$��LQ�D�UHFHQWO\�UHOHDVHG�<RX-

7XEH�YLGHR��$O�4DHGD�VSRNHVPDQ�,VDDF�*ROGEHUJ�UHDIILUPHG�WKH�RU-JDQL]DWLRQ·V� ILUP� DQG� ORQJ�ODVW-LQJ�DSSURYDO�RI�WKH�15$��´$PHULFD�LV�DEVROXWHO\�DZDVK�with easily obtainable firearms,”

said Goldberg in the viral video

´,QQRFHQFH�RI�$PHULFDQV�µ� ´<RX�can go down to a gun show at the

local convention center and come

away with a fully automatic as-

sault rifle without a background

check and most likely without an

LGHQWLILFDWLRQ� FDUG�� 6R� ZKDW� DUH�you waiting for?”

��$O�4DHGD�KDV�PDGH�VWDWHPHQWV�WKDW� LPSO\� VXSSRUW� RI� WKH� 15$�LQ� WKH� SDVW�� $IWHU� DQ� $PHULFDQ�VFKRRO�VKRRWLQJ��$O�4DHGD�WZHHW-HG�� ´%DFNLQJ� 15$� �� &KLO-dren die all the time, but guns last

�HYHU��3UDLVH�$OODK�µ� Goldberg stated that in the

PDMRULW\�RI�WKH�0LGGOH�(DVW��SDU-ticularly Egypt, much of the pop-

ulation live in fear of the govern-

ment monitoring them, executing

them or robbing them of their

SURSHUW\��´:H�VXSSRUW�WKH�15$�EHFDXVH�you cannot trust the government

WR� SURWHFW� \RX�� 7KH� JRYHUQPHQW�is controlled by secular Zionist

bloodsuckers who do not truly

care for the people,” stated Gold-

EHUJ�� ´:LWKRXW� RXU� JXQV�� ZH�would never be able to protect

ourselves from the Jewish impe-

ULDOLVWV�µ��$O�4DHGD�DQG�LWV�DIILOLDWHV�KDYH�a long history of being vocal op-

ponents of big government and

of bemoaning increasing secu-

ODUL]DWLRQ� LQ� VRFLHW\�� 7KH� RUJD-

nization has often expressed its

RSLQLRQV�ZLWK� WKH� XVH� RI� EXOOHWV��$O�4DHGD� DFNQRZOHGJHV� WKDW� UH-

ceiving such weapons so easi-

ly and simply could never have

come to be without the aid of the

15$·V� SXVK� IRU� OLEHUDO� JXQ� ODZV�LQ�WKH�8QLWHG�6WDWHV�� Goldberg said that he and oth-

HU�$O�4DHGD�PHPEHUV�ZHOFRPH�D�long and cooperative relationship

between the two organizations

later in the future, emphasizing

WKH� IDFW� WKH� 15$� DQG� $O�4DHGD�DUH�QRW�VR�GLIIHUHQW��´:H�ERWK�DUH�DJDLQVW�WKH�LGHD�of government interfering in the

lives of the people and corpora-

tions, we both are highly against

the secularization of society, we

both wish to bring the word of

God back to the people and we

ERWK� ZLVK� WR� UHWDLQ� RXU� JXQV�� ,�see no need to continue being

enemies,” said Goldberg of the

15$�� ´7KH� 15$� DOVR� VXSSRUWV� XV�and we expect a cooperative and

fruitful partnership between the

ERWK�RI�XV�� ,Q� IDFW��ZH�DUH�JRLQJ�to have a meeting together this

6HSWHPEHU�µAl-Qaeda gun enthusiasts gather to discuss their brand new weapons. Al-Qaeda has o%cially announced its support of the NRA. ��Iahmh�\hnkm^lr�h_�_k^]ob]Ze'Ûe^l'phk]ik^ll'

$O�4DHGD�DQQRXQFHV�RIÀFLDO�HQGRUVHPHQW�RI�WKH�15$:RUOG�1HZV

Check out our website!www.thesunsetscroll.com

And follow us on Twitter!

@theshsscroll

:RUOG�1HZV�

Bryce Patel

Professor X

��$IWHU�PRQWKV�RI�GHOLEHUDWLRQ��5HSXE-

OLFDQV� DQG� 'HPRFUDWV� ÀQDOO\� FDPH� XS�with a bipartisan answer to the current

HFRQRPLF� LVVXHV�� 7KH\� FRQFOXGHG� WKDW�antidepressants were a much better solu-

tion to the dire economic situation than

VSHQGLQJ�FXWV�DQG�VWLPXOXV�SDFNDJHV��´,·P�KDSS\�ZH�ÀQDOO\�IRXQG�D�VROX-

tion supported not only by both par-

ties, but by the pharmaceutical lobby as

ZHOO�µ�VDLG�3UHVLGHQW�%DUDFN�2EDPD�� The bill will make the antidepressant

Prozac available over the counter rather

than only through prescription, allowing

PRUH�SHRSOH�WR�JDLQ�DFFHVV�WR�WKH�GUXJ� Proponents of the bill claim it will

help stimulate the economy, but others

claim the government is pandering to big

pharmaceutical corporations by increas-

LQJ�WKH�DYDLODELOLW\�RI�PHGLFDO�GUXJV�� ´7KLV�ELOO�GRHVQ·W�XQIDLUO\� IDYRU�ELJ�businesses over consumers,” said House

0DMRULW\� /HDGHU� -RKQ� %RHKQHU�� ´7KH�consumers get their drugs and the com-

panies get their money, so everyone

ZLQV�µ The bill will be funded by an increase

in federal taxes for people of all income

EUDFNHWV�� 7KLV� PRQH\� ZLOO� EH� XVHG� WR�JLYH� $PHULFDQ� FLWL]HQV� ORZ�LQWHUHVW�loans which they can use to purchase

DQWLGHSUHVVDQWV�LQ�EXON�

A!er receiving a massive government loan to pay for her medication, junior Anamika Vaughan prepares to take her daily dose of Prozac. Prozac was made available over the counter on March 15.

Photo by Haily Hargrave

Sharada Menon

He-Man

Last Friday, older white males

took to the streets to protest in-

FUHDVLQJ� GLVFULPLQDWLRQ�� 7KH�*HQWOHPHQ·V�,QWHUQDWLRQDO�5LJKWV�/HDJXH� �*,5/�� RUJDQL]HG� QD-

tion-wide rallies to bring atten-

WLRQ� WR� SUHMXGLFH� H[SHULHQFHG� E\�ROGHU��ZKLWH�PHQ� Leaders of the movement, in-

FOXGLQJ� 0U�� 5RJHUV�� &OLQW� (DVW-ZRRG� DQG� -XVWLQ�%HLEHU·V� IDWKHU��cite the rise of affirmative action

for minorities as the cause of the

growing hatred against the

PDMRULW\�� ´,W·V� UHDOO\� GLIILFXOW� WR� GHDO�with the anger that is directed

at me and other rich, respected

&DXFDVLDQ� PDOHV�µ� VD\V� *,5/�FR�IRXQGHU�5\DQ�0RRUH��´,�FDQ·W�even cry about it because of op-

SUHVVLYH�PDOH�JHQGHU�UROHV�µ� Police officers have targeted

picketers, claiming to be unable

to stand the rhythmless songs

ULRWHUV� VLQJ�� 1R� VHULRXV� LQMXULHV�have been reported, but doctors

have observed increased amounts

RI�ZKLQLQHVV�LQ�SURWHVWHUV� Leaders of the anti-white-

male-hate movement use protest

songs and dances to express their

IUXVWUDWLRQ�� $FWLYLVWV� DOVR� FDUU\�VLJQV� ZLWK� SKUDVHV� VXFK� DV� ´:H�DUH� WKH� �� SHUFHQW�µ� ´6DYH� WKH�0DOHVµ� DQG� ´:H� DUH� FRRO�� WRR�µ�in order to convey the struggles

RI�EHLQJ�D�SRZHUIXO�PDMRULW\�� ´:KDW�LV�UHDOO\�XQIDLU� LV� WKDW�,�FDQ·W�VD\�DQ\WKLQJ�UDFLVW�RU�VH[-

LVW� ZLWKRXW� EHLQJ� MXGJHG�µ� VD\V�0RRUH�� ´$OO� ZH� UHDOO\� ZDQW� LV�DQ� RSSRUWXQLW\� WR� EH� SUHMXGLFHG�against others without punitive

UHVSRQVHV�� ,V� WKDW� WRR� PXFK� WR�ask?”

Protesters hope to bring

awareness about the emotional

harm that racist comments and

positive racial stereotyping can

have, especially on grown white

PDOHV��$PRQJ�*,5/·V�PDLQ�FRP-

plaints is the immense pressure

to achieve placed on privileged

&DXFDVLDQ�PHQ�� ´:H� KDYH� VR�PXFK� SUHVVXUH�WR�DWWDLQ�SHUIHFWLRQ��DQG�ZH�FDQ·W�blame failure on sexism or rac-

LVP��3HRSOH�MXVW�GRQ·W�XQGHUVWDQG�the difficulties and extreme chal-

OHQJHV�WKDW�&DXFDVLDQ�PHQ�IDFH�µ�VD\V�SURWHVWHU�-RQDWKRQ�'RH��

Kevin Barry and Ben Hughes, two old Caucasian males, picket for their rights. $e Gen-tlemen’s International Right’s League (GIRL) have organized protests across America.Photo by Haily Hargrave

��7KH�,QFUHGLEOH�+XON�LV�NQRZQ�DV�D�VWURQJ�LQGLYLGXDO�ZKR�FDQ�FUXVK�DQ\�REMHFW�or person standing in his way, but who exactly is this bold person during the day?

,W·V�QRQH�RWKHU�WKDQ�6XQVHW·V�YHU\�RZQ�3(�WHDFKHU�.HYLQ�/RYLQJV��´,�KDYH�DOZD\V�NHSW�P\�VXSHUKHUR�DELOLWLHV�D�VHFUHW�EHFDXVH�,�GLGQ·W�ZDQW�WR�LQWLPLGDWH�WKH�SHRSOH�DURXQG�PH�µ�VDLG�/RYLQJV��´,·P�KHUH�WR�KHOS�HYHU\RQH��QRW�WR�PDNH�WKHP�IHHO�LQIHULRU�µ��/RYLQJV�XWLOL]HV�PRVW�RI�KLV�VXSHUKHUR�DELOLWLHV�ZKHQ�KH�LV�RXW�ÀJKWLQJ�FULPH��+H�has faced many villains and troubled students in his lifetime, but there are always

VRPH�HYHQWV�WKDW�PDNH�EHLQJ�D�VXSHUKHUR�ZRUWKZKLOH��´2QH�RI�WKH�PRVW�LQWHUHVWLQJ�VLWXDWLRQV�WKDW�,·YH�HQFRXQWHUHG�ZDV�ZKHQ�WKHUH�ZDV�D�KLJK�VSHHG�FDU�FKDVH�RQ�&HGDU�+LOOV�%RXOHYDUG�µ�VDLG�/RYLQJV��´:KHQ�,�VDZ�WKH�FULPLQDO·V�FDU�UDFH�SDVW�PH��,�TXLFNO\�UDQ�WR�FDWFK�XS�WR�LW�DQG�PDQDJHG�WR�VWRS�WKH�FDU�ZLWK�MXVW�P\�EDUH�KDQGV�µ We all know that Lovings is a person who helps others when needed, but what

VHFUHW�PLJKW�KH�SRVVHV"�:HOO�WKH�DQVZHU�LV�VLPSOH��E\�QLJKW��/RYLQJV�LV�RXW�ÀJKWLQJ�FULPH�DQG�GHPROLVKLQJ�DQ\�WKUHDWV�PDGH�WR�WKH�6XQVHW�FRPPXQLW\�

Before the bell, science teacher Brian Kienlen beats stoichiometry into his chem-

istry students brains, but after school he takes to the skies and beats the brains out of

EDG�JX\V��$OWKRXJK�QHLWKHU�KLV�VWXGHQWV�QRU�KLV�HQHPLHV�FDQ�VHH�KLP�DV�DQ\WKLQJ�EXW�,URQ�Man, Kienlen confesses that before he invented the suit, he had another idea for his

GUHDP�UROH�DV�WHDFKHU�DQG�YLJLODQWH��´,�ZDV�JRLQJ�WR�EH�1REOH�*DV�0DQ��EXW�HYHQ�P\�ÁDWXOHQFH�GRHV�LWV�GDPDJH�RQ�the ozone layer,” said�.LHQOHQ��6RPH�RI�.LHQOHQ·V�OXFN\�VWXGHQWV�KDYH�HYHQ�KDG�WKH�FKDQFH�WR�DLG�,URQ�0DQ�LQ�KLV�FODVVURRP�KHURLFV��´2QFH�,�OHW�P\�VWXGHQWV�FRQFRFW�WKH�IXHO�IRU�-DUYLV��P\�VXLW��DV�DQ�H[SHULPHQW��EXW�,�UHDOL]HG�WKDW�ZDV�D�KXJH�PLVWDNH�ZKHQ�KH�EHJDQ�WR�ERRJLH��+H�UHDOO\�ZDV�LQ�KLV�HOHPHQW��,�PXVW�VD\�µ�said�.LHQOHQ��7R�VWXGHQWV·�GLVPD\��UXPRU�KDV�LW�WKDW�.LHQOHQ�ZLOO�KDQJ�XS�KLV�ODE�FRDW�WKLV�\HDU��3HUKDSV�KH�ZLOO�Á\�RQ�IRUHYHU�LQ�KLV�´)Hµ�PDOH�VXLW��VHHNLQJ�WKH�QH[W�DGGLWLRQ�WR�WKH�SHULRGLF�WDEOH�

2Q�VFKRRO�GD\V�0DU\�&KDPEHUODLQ�LV�MXVW�DQ�(QJOLVK�WHDFKHU�ZLWK�D�PLOG�DGGLFWLRQ�WR�VKRHV��EXW�RQ�ZHHNHQGV�DQG�HYHQLQJV�VKH�WUDQVIRUPV�LQWR�WKH�FULPH�ÀJKWLQJ�1RUGLF�JRG��7KRU� ´'HDOLQJ�ZLWK�VOHHS\�KLJK�VFKRRO�VWXGHQWV�LQ�WKH�PRUQLQJ�KDV�KHOSHG�PH�LPSURYH�P\�YLOODLQ�VPDVKLQJ�VNLOOV�DQG�YLFH�YHUVD�µ�VDLG�&KDPEHUODLQ� ,Q�FDVH�RI�DQ�HPHUJHQF\��&KDPEHUODLQ�NHHSV�KHU�PDJLFDO�KDPPHU��0MROQLU��ZLWK�KHU�LQ�WKH�FODVVURRP�DW�DOO�WLPHV� ´,�FKDQJH�WKH�FRORU�RI�0MROQLU�WR�PDWFK�P\�RXWÀWV�XVXDOO\��EXW�VRPHWLPHV�,�PL[�LW�XS��<HVWHUGD\�LW�ZDV�EURQ]H��DQG�WRGD\�LW�LV�D�OLPH�JUHHQ�µ�VDLG�&KDPEHUODLQ� %\�XVLQJ�KHU�KDPPHU�RQ�VWXGHQWV�ZLWK�PLVVLQJ�KRPHZRUN��&KDPEHUODLQ�KDV�GUDVWLFDO-O\�UHGXFHG�WKH�QXPEHU�RI�ODWH�DVVLJQPHQWV��´(YHU\RQH�LQ�WKH�FODVV�NQRZV�WKDW�0UV��&KDPEHUODLQ�LV�7KRU��,�KDYH�VHHQ�KHU�EHQFK�SUHVV�WUHDGPLOOV�DW�WKH�6XQVHW�$WKOHWLF�&OXE�µ�VDLG�IUHVKPDQ�0DF�+HIIHUQDQ��$OWKRXJK�RQ�WKH�VXUIDFH�&KDPEHUODLQ�DSSHDUV�WR�EH�DQ�DYHUDJH�(QJOLVK�WHDFKHU��VKH�KDUERUV�D�VHFUHW�OLIH�GHIHDWLQJ�YLOODLQV�DQG�PRQVWHUV�DV�7KRU�

&KDPEHUODLQ

Kienlin

/RYLQJV

��6KH�OHDSV�DFURVV�D�URRIWRS�ZLWK�HQRXJK�HOHJDQFH�WR�HYRNH�WKH�MHDORXV\�RI�D�WKRXVDQG�EDOOHULQDV��KHU�WUDGHPDUN�UHG�ORFNV�WR�Á\LQJ�XS�LQ�WKH�ZLQG�OLNH�D�EULOOLDQW�KDOR��$V�WKH�%ODFN�:LGRZ³DOWHU�HJR�1DWDVKD�5RPDQRYD³JODQFHV�EDFN�WR�VHQG�XV�D�ÁLUW\�ZLQN��ZH�JHW�D�JOLPSVH�RI�KHU�IDFH�DQG³JDVS�³LW·V�QRQH�RWKHU�WKDQ�RXU�YHU\�RZQ�PDWK�WHDFKHU�5XVVHOO�/DPEDFK��´,W·V�XQIRUWXQDWH�SHRSOH�NHHS�RQ�WKLQNLQJ�WKDW�,·P�D�ZRPDQ�µ�said�/DPEDFK��´,�KDYH�D�VXVSLFLRQ�WKDW�,URQ�0DQ�VWDUWHG�LW�DV�D�MRNH��,W�SUREDEO\�GRHVQ·W�KHOS�WKDW�P\�ELUWK�FHUWLÀFDWH�VD\V�1DWDVKD��,�OLNH�WR�ZHDU�FDW�VXLWV�DQG�KDYH�D�NLOOHU�VPROGHU�ORRN�µ��$V�D�SHUVRQ�ZLWK�JUHDW�PDWKHPDWLF�FDSDELOLWLHV��/DPEDFK�ZDV�ÀUVW�UHFUXLWHG�LQWR�VHUYLFH�GXH�WR�KLV�H[WHQVLYH�H[SHULHQFH�LQ�FDOFXOXV��´&DOFXOXV�LV�DQ�XQGHUXWLOL]HG�LQVWUXPHQW�RI�WRUWXUH�IRU�LQWHUURJDWLRQ�VHVVLRQV�µ�said�6+,(/'�GLUHFWRU�1LFN�)XU\��´$OO�1DWDVKD�KDV�WR�GR�LV�VLPSO\�DVN�WKH�VXEMHFW�WR�GHWHUPLQH�WKH�LQWHJUDO�RI�WDQJHQW�DQG�WKH�SHUVRQ�ZRXOG�VWDUW�GRLQJ�EDFNÁLSV�LI�,�DVNHG�µ By day, Lambach is an ordinary math teacher, helping students everywhere

FRQTXHU�FDOFXOXV��+RZHYHU��DV�QLJKW�GHVFHQGV��KH�GRQV�WKH�IDPRXV�EODFN�FDW�VXLW�DQG�XWLOLW\�EHOW��HPHUJLQJ�IURP�6�+�,�(�/�'��KHDGTXDUWHUV�WR�ÀJKW�HYLO�RQ�EHKDOI�RI�KXPDQLW\�

��&DSWDLQ�$PHULFD��DND�KLVWRU\�WHDFKHU�$QGUHZ�%URZQ��OHDSV�IHDUOHVVO\�LQWR�battle with ferocious enemies and braves his brainless students with his signature

EDWWOH�FU\��´·0HULFD�µ Both as teacher and megasoldier, Brown has remained patriotic through and

WKURXJK��+H�LV�VR�GHGLFDWHG�WR�XSKROGLQJ�WKH�ÁDJ��KH�QHYHU�WDNHV�RII�KLV�VWDUUHG�DQG�VWULSHG�VXSHUVXLW��´,�XVHG�WR�ÀQG�ZHDULQJ�P\�VSDQGH[�RQHVLH�XQGHU�P\�WHDFKLQJ�FORWKHV�XQFRP-

fortable, but now it adds an extra spring to my step,” said�%URZQ�Brown has been able to bridge the gap between superhero and superteacher with

KLV�LQWHUDFWLYH�GHPRQVWUDWLRQV��´,�KDYH�EDVHG�ZKROH�FODVVHV�RII�RI�P\�H[SHULHQFHV�LQ�WKH�EDWWOHV�RI�WKH�:RUOG�:DUV��7KH�VWXGHQWV�HVSHFLDOO\�HQMR\�P\�EORZ�E\�EORZ�UHHQDFWPHQWV��EXW�,·YH�been running out of volunteers lately,” said�%URZQ��7KH�KLVWRU\�WHDFKHU·V�PRWWR��´6WD\�WUXH�WR�WKH�UHG��ZKLWH�DQG�EOXH��DQG�ZDWFK�out for onesie wedgies,” remains his inspiration both in lectures during class and

EUDZOV�ZLWK�IRHV�

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LQJ�WR�FRQIURQW�WKRVH�ZKR�DWWHPSW�WR�VXEYHUW�MXVWLFH�LQ�WKH�KDOOV�RI�6XQVHW��$FFRUGLQJ�to a widely believed rumor, she is secretly the superhero Hawkeye, known for mem-

EHUVKLS�LQ�WKH�MXVWLFH�FRQJORPHUDWH�NQRZQ�DV�´7KH�$YHQJHUV�µ ´3HUVRQDOO\��,·P�FRQYLQFHG��6KH·V�MXVW�WRR�JRRG�QRW�WR�EH�+DZNH\H�µ�VDLG�VRSKR-

PRUH�/DXUD�*URVKDQV��6KH�KDV�QHYHU�DOORZHG�DQ�RIIHQGHU�WR�HVFDSH��7KLV�LQFUHGLEOH�VXFFHVV�UDWH�FRXOG�RQO\�EH�DFKLHYHG�WKURXJK�+DZNH\H�HVTXH�DELOLWLHV� ´6KH�DEVROXWHO\�PXVW�EH�+DZNH\H��,�NQRZ�HYHU\WKLQJ�DERXW�DOO�VXSHUKHURHV��DQG�VKH�VKRZV�DOO�RI�WKH�VLJQV�µ�VDLG�VHQLRU�6WHYHQ�$UPHV� 0UV��%DWVHOO�XQZLWWLQJO\�UHYHDOHG�KHU�WUDLQLQJ�RQ�VHYHUDO�GLIIHUHQW�RFFDVLRQV��DQG�multiple instances in which she acted beyond normal human capacity to apprehend

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Which Sunset sports team had the most

VXFFHVVIXO� VHDVRQ� WKLV� \HDU"� ,W� LVQ·W� WKH�swim team, as many would think, it was

WKH�ZRPHQ·V�EDVNHWEDOO�VTXDG�ZLWK�D�SHU-IHFW�ILQDO�UHFRUG��´:H�DUH�DEVROXWHO\�HFVWDWLF�WKDW�ZH�ZHUH�able to give a dominating performance

every night on the court,” said sophomore

.LQVOH\�5RZDQ��´(YHU\�JDPH��WKH�EOHDFK-

HUV� ZHUH� MDP�SDFNHG� ZLWK� VWXGHQWV�� DQG�we were able to feed off the energy of the

FURZG�µ��7KH�ZRPHQ·V�WHDP�ZDV�WKH�ZDWHU�FRROHU�WRSLF� DW� 6XQVHW� DOO� VHDVRQ� ORQJ�� 6WXGHQWV�KDG� D� ORW� WR� VD\� DERXW� WKH�ZRPHQ·V� WHDP�because the games were so intense and

IXQ�WR�ZDWFK��´,�ZHQW�WR�HYHU\�JDPH�WKLV�VHDVRQ�µ�VDLG�MXQLRU� 'RP�%ODFN�� ´7KH� JLUOV� DUH� VR� WDO-ented at basketball and the team is so

DPD]LQJ�� ,W� LV� MXVW� D� WKULOO� WR� ZDWFK� JUHDW�EDVNHWEDOO�µ The team attributes their dominating

performances to their scoring ability,

lockGRZQ�GHIHQVH�DQG�LQWLPLGDWLQJ�SOD\��´$OO�WKH�JLUOV�ZRUNHG�KDUG�QRW�MXVW�GXULQJ�the season, but also during last summer

DQG� WKH� RII� VHDVRQ�µ� VDLG� MXQLRU� 0DND\OD�$OWRQ�� ´$� ORW� RI� WKH� JLUOV� ZHQW� LQ� WKH� ZHLJKW�room to build more muscle so we could

EH�VHULRXV�FRPSHWLWRUV�IRU�VWDWH�SOD\RIIV�µ� �$IWHU� D� SHUIHFW� UHJXODU� VHDVRQ�� WKH� WHDP�now looks to cap it off with a state cham-

SLRQVKLS�� :LQQLQJ� QHYHU� JRHV� XQQRWLFHG��and it is rumored that several scouts from

%D\ORU� DQG�6WDQIRUG�8QLYHUVLWLHV�KDYH�DW-WHQGHG�JDPHV�� ´,� DP� UHDOO\� H[FLWHG� WKDW� D� ORW� RI� VFRXWV�from big-name schools have taken the

WLPH�WR�FKHFN�XV�RXW�µ�VDLG�5RZDQ��´,W�PR-

tivates me even more to play harder and

JHW�WKH�ZLQ�µ� � +RZ� VXFFHVVIXO� ZLOO� WKH� QH[W� ZRPHQ·V�season go after such a perfect year? The

answer will have to wait for another year,

� � ´*HQGHU�)OLS� LQ� WKH�&LW\µ� LV� WKH�RIILFLDO�WKHPH� RI� 6XQVHW·V� 3URP� LQ� ��7KH� LP-

age of such a daring prom took Sunset by

storm when the idea was originally turned

down by school administrators, turning

once normal students into a rabid pack of

KXPDQ�ULJKWV�DFWLYLVWV�� 0HPEHUV�RI�$PQHVW\� ,QWHUQDWLRQDO�ZHUH�among the first to speak up about the

HTXDOLW\�EUHDFK��6WXGHQWV�ZHUH�VR�DGDPDQW�about the issue that they took to the halls

IRU�VRPH�ROG�IDVKLRQHG�SLFNHW�ULRWLQJ�� ´+RQHVWO\�� ,� ZDV� MXVW� LQ� LW� IRU� WKH� SKR-

WR�RS�µ�VDLG�MXQLRU�$QQD�4XHQHPRHQ��´,W·V�FDOOHG�¶SLFNHWLQJ·��LW·V�OLNH�¶SODQNLQJ�·�EXW�WKLV�LV�D�ORW�PRUH�LQWHQVH�µ Students took their picketing all the

ZD\�WR�WKH�PDLQ�RIILFH��ZKHUH��ER\V�DQG�JLUOV� FDPSHG� RXW� IRU� �� VFKRRO� GD\V�� HDW-LQJ� RQO\� IURP� WKH� XSSHU� FRPPRQV·� YHQG-

LQJ� PDFKLQHV�� 2Q� 0DUFK� �� WKUHH�teenagers went into fits of hysteria due to

lack of FRPSOHWLQJ�VFKRRO�ZRUN�� ´,·YH� QHYHU� VHHQ� DQ\WKLQJ� TXLWH� OLNH� LW�beIRUH�µ� VDLG� $VVLVWDQW� 3ULQFLSDO� &KULV�%LFN�

´,W�ZDV� DOPRVW� DV� VKRFNLQJ� DV� DQ� HSLVRGH�RI�¶7KH�5HDO�+RXVHZLYHV�RI�$WODQWD�µ� �$W� WKH� KHLJKW� RI� WKH� XQUHVW��2UHJRQ�=RR�officials were called to the scene in an

effort to coax the wild teens down from

FODVVURRP� OLJKW� IL[WXUHV�� 1R� RQH� ZDV� LQ-

MXUHG� GXULQJ� WKH� LQFLGHQW�� DQG� RQO\� WZR�students were referred to a local psychi-

DWULVW�� $Q� DQQRXQFHPHQW� RYHU� WKH� LQWHUFRP� UH-

instating the gender flip prom theme was

a result of the pressure felt by administra-

WRUV�� 7KH� RYHUKHDG� DQQRXQFHPHQW� ODVWHG�ten minutes and caused concern school-

ZLGH�� ´:H� GLGQ·W� UHDOL]H� WKH� LQWHUFRP�ZDV� RQ�for so long before we actually addressed

the school, and we are really sorry for any-

WKLQJ�\RX�PLJKW�KDYH�KHDUG�µ�VD\V�%LFN�� $ORQJ� ZLWK� WKH� $PQHVW\� ,QWHUQDWLRQDO�NLGV�� MXQLRU� DQG� VHQLRU� ER\V� OHG� WKH� SROOV�in supporting the gender switch theme,

IROORZHG�E\�VRSKRPRUH�ER\V�� ´6RPHWLPHV� \RX� IHHO� OLNH� GUHVVLQJ� XS�and looking your best, and sometimes you

MXVW�IHHO�OLNH�ZHDULQJ�D�GUHVV�µ�VDLG�MXQLRU�Gabe 'XPDQ�

6XQVHW�ZRPHQ·V�EDVNHWEDOO�JRHV�XQGHIHDWHGMacklin Turnquist

Captain Underpants

/HDGHUVKLS�DQQRXQFHV�6XQVHW·V�3URP�WKHPH��JHQGHU�ÁLSJenny Fessler

Barnacle Boy

6SRUWV��$FWLYLWLHV

Eager for Prom, senior Emma Downey and junior Dylan Vazquez show o# their gender-bending duds. “Gender Flip in the City” will be the theme this year.

Photo by Hutton Sutherland

With emphatic gestures, sophomore Kinsley Rowan and junior Natalie Valent boast of their season. The girl’s team ended with a perfect record.


6FUROO�6WDII

Co-Editors in ChiefAmy Morales-Amy Wang

News EditorAnamika Vaughan

Opinion/Editorial EditorMady Coughlin

Features EditorAnna Kemper

Entertainment EditorAlex Groshans

Sports & Activities EditorsMacklin Turnquist-Natalie Valent

Double Truck EditorAnna Kemper

Photo EditorHutton Sutherland

Copy EditorsBryce Patel-Jenny Fessler

Design TeamAnna Kemper-Olivia Kramer-Jake Peden

Sta! WritersHannah Dodge-Soraya Go-Shreyans Khunteta-Jake Peden-Sage Steineke-

Amelia Turnquist

Sta! PhotographerHaily Hargrave

AdviserEloika Rozendaal

Editorial Policy!e Scroll is written by the students of the Pub-lications class. It is edited by an editorial board who makes all content-related decisions and is responsible for all material appearing in !e Scroll. !e opinions presented in !e Scroll do not nessecarily represent the position of the en-tire sta", Sunset High School, or the Beaverton School District. As a public forum for student epression, !e Scroll welcomes letters to the ed-itor and comments on articles, but reserves the right to revise inappropriate letters and com-ments. All letters and comments must be signed

and may be edited for length, accuracy and clarity.

Just last week in a live performance gone horri-

bly wrong, it was revealed that the beautiful voic-

HV�RI�6XQVHW·V�0DGULJDOV�DUH�QRWKLQJ�EXW�D�KRD[��The well-dressed teens were standing before a

SULYDWH� DXGLHQFH� SUHSDULQJ� WR� EHJLQ�ZKHQ� MXQLRU�Meredith Waggoner sneezed, and her solo began

ZLWKRXW�KHU��)DFLQJ�FULWLFLVP��:DJRQQHU�UHVSRQG-

HG�GHIHQVLYHO\��´0\�DELOLW\�WR�VQHH]H�DQG�VLQJ�DW�WKH�VDPH�WLPH�LV�SXUH�WDOHQW��QRW�D�KRD[�µ�VDLG�:DJJRQHU�� $IWHU� WKH� LQLWLDO� LQFLGHQW��:DJJRQHU·V� IHOORZ�Madrigals tried to help cover it up with their own

voices but it only ended up worsening the situa-

tion as their backup track began a moment after

WKH\�GLG��7KH�ZKROH�HYHQW�ZDV�D�FDWDVWURSKH��EXW�WKDW� KDVQ·W� VWRSSHG� WKH� 0DGULJDOV� IURP� GHQ\LQJ�WKH�OLS�V\QF�DFFXVDWLRQV�� ´0U��5XVW�KDV�GHGLFDWHG�PDQ\�KRXUV�WR�WUDLQ-

ing us Madrigals in the ability of duplicating our

voices and we will not have him embarrassed by

WKHVH�ULGLFXORXV�OLS�V\QF�UXPRUV�µ�VDLG�:DJJRQHU� Hard-core Madrigal fans have had polar oppo-

VLWH�UHDFWLRQV�WR�WKLV�ILDVFR��6RPH��OLNH�MXQLRU�.\OD�

Jarka, were so devastated that they were driven to

WKH�SRLQW�RI�WHDUV��´,�FULHG�IRU�D�ZHHN�DQG�WRUH�GRZQ�DOO�RI�P\�SRVW-HUV�µ�VDLG�-DUND��´+RZ�FRXOG�WKH\�GR�WKLV�WR�PH"µ��$V�RI�WRGD\�-DUND�KDV�RIILFLDOO\�UHQRXQFHG�KHU�fanaticism for The Madrigals and is in search of a

QHZ�FKRLU�WR�ZRUVKLS��´,·P�WKLQNLQJ�WKH�ZRPHQ·V�FKRLU�PD\�EH�ZRU-thy, though the name may not look as cool on the

SRVWHUV�LQ�P\�URRP�µ�VDLG�-DUND��2Q�WKH�RWKHU�KDQG��WKHUH�DUH�DOVR�D�KDQGIXO�RI�die-hard Madrigal fans that refuse to believe the

claims and have even begun sporting t-shirts and

WDWWRRV�ZLWK�VD\LQJV�VXFK�DV�´0DG�IRU�WKH�0DGUL-JDOVµ�DQG�´:KDW�ZHUH�\RX�WKLQNLQJ"�7KH\�ZHUHQ·W�OLS�V\QFLQJ�µ�� ´7KH�0DGULJDOV�DUH�P\�OLIH��WKH\�ZRXOG�QHYHU�OLS� V\QF�� ,� MXVW� NQRZ� LW�µ� VDLG� MXQLRU�$XVWLQ�/LQ-

QHOO� With all the controversy flying around, the

0DGULJDOV� DSSHDU� WR� EH� O\LQJ� ORZ� IRU� D� ZKLOH��7KHLU�PDQDJHU�LV�DOORZLQJ�QR�IXUWKHU�LQWHUYLHZV�

0DGULJDOV�GLVFRYHUHG�OLS�V\QFLQJ�Sage Steineke

She-Ra

6SRUWV��$FWLYLWLHV

Sunset’s Madrigals appear to “singing” happily in this pre-scandal photo. Ever since the accident occurred the Mad-rigals have refused to be photographed. Photo by Hutton Sutherland

6XQVHW�,QGLYLGXDOV

Twins Cole and Jordan Hurwitz

recently claimed that their best

friend senior Tucker Hutchinson’s

revolutionary and new socially in-

teractive website was originally

their idea that he stole from them.

Although the twins, both seniors,

clearly lack the skills necessary to

build up the website’s popularity to

the degree Hutchinson has, they are

taking it to court and are planning

to sue for at least 60 million dollars.

� � � � � ³:H� WKRXJKW� RI� LW� ¿UVW�´� VDLG�Jordan Hurwitz. “We deserve that

amount of money. It is a small price

to pay considering the amount of

emotional troubles we’ve gone

WKURXJK�VLQFH�KH�VWROH�RXU�LGHD�´ Nothing is going well for the

twins; this could have been their

¿UVW� OXFN\� EUHDN� LQ� OLIH� EXW� LW�ZDV�squandered by Hutchinson.

The Hurwitz twins even reported

the theft to the Dean at the Univer-

sity of Pennsylvania, but he would

not listen and told them to just wor-

ry about swimming and academics.

“Needless to say we are ex-

WUHPHO\� IUXVWUDWHG�´� VDLG� &ROH�Hurwitz. “This website could have

been our big boost because with-

out it we have literally nothing

going for us. Come to think of it,

maybe we should demand more

money in the lawsuit to keep us

DIORDW�´� � Even the twins have used the

website that Hutchinson created to

socialize with their friends online.

The twins are trying to stir up a fan

base on the site to boycott people

from using the website that could

have been theirs.

“I can’t believe these guys

KDYH�SUR¿OHV�RQ�P\�ZHEVLWH�´�VDLG�Hutchinson. “First, they claim the

idea was theirs which is bogus, then

WKH\�¿OH�D�KXJH�ODZVXLW�DJDLQVW�PH�and now they joined the site? What

madness is this? What is the next

thing they are going to do, ask to

EH�IULHQGV�DJDLQ"´ At the moment, the situation is

quite tense between the twins and

Hutchinson. Whether or not the

twins will be granted the lawsuit,

DQG�¿QDOO\�EH�DEOH�WR�PRYH�RQ�IURP�their troubles, remains to be seen.

Macklin Turnquist

Captain Underpants

Hurwitz twins point "ngers at their friend Tucker Hutchinson, accusing him of stealing their social media idea. $e twins will take Hutchinson to court in a mul-timillion dollar lawsuit.


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The classic beauty, the evident kindness, and the angelic voice, it’s no surprise that senior Katelyn Heywood is more than she claims to be. Due to the compiled evidence, it has been concluded that Heywood is, in fact, Snow White. “To be honest I’m not surprised,” says se-nior Ali Riley. “At first I thought it was just her being a Mormon, but I wouldn’t even be surprised if her little sister Jamie was actu-ally one of her dwarves.” Several extraordinary events have been reported from multiple Sunset students throughout this year. The events were scarce in the beginning, but as the year continued they became increasingly common. “Katelyn usually drives herself to school but she needed me to pick her up one morning,” says senior Amy Davis. “When I got to her house there were about a dozen deer in her backyard. I was so confused.” Suspicions arose once again in Novem-ber, when Heywood left class, claiming to be in need of the restroom. When she didn’t return, a concerned classmate went looking for her. “It wasn’t sickness, it wasn’t constipation,

it was Katelyn in the courtyard with fifty birds,” says senior Ryan Pfeifer. “She was singing to them.” When discovered, Heywood disregarded any claims that her behavior was unortho-dox. However, she came clean with her true

identity after the most recent incident in February on Valentine’s Day. “I left my room for five minutes, just five minutes and when I came back I almost had a heart attack because there were dozens of rats sitting on my desk,” says choir director Chris Rust. “Of course there was Katelyn, trying to calm me down, reassuring that they were only there to help clean my messy desk.” After recovering from shock, Rust confronted Heywood, asking her if there was anything she needed to share. Her true identity was revealed, along with the dis-covery that she was in fact seeking refuge in Portland after a narrow escape from her evil mother. “I tried so hard to fit in, but I can’t help how magical I am,” says Heywood. “I guess animals are my thing.” A vote was taken and it was agreed by all that Heywood would be allowed to stay, as long as she would keep her wild life un-der control. However, in order to maintain her safety, Heywood will be moving to BYU Idaho come next fall, where she will spend the next years of her happily ever after.

Soraya Go

Jak-Jak

+H\ZRRG�UHYHDOHG�WR�EH�6QRZ�:KLWH�LQ�KLGLQJ

.ORFNH�ULG�RI�IODZOHVV�WUDQVFULSW��DFFHSWV�D�%Hannah Dodge

Flash Gordon

��6XQVHW�+LJK�6FKRRO�VRSKRPRUH�.DL�.ORFNH�UHFHLYHG�KLV�¿UVW�HYHU�B letter grade on his progress report on March 8, 2013. Klocke made

the shocking discovery when advisors handed grades out, marking

the halfway point of the school year’s third quarter.

When asked what class the B was earned in, Klocke simply looked

GRZQ�DW�WKH�JURXQG��OHDYLQJ�XV�ZLWK�D�³QR�FRPPHQW�´�$Q�DQRQ\PRXV�tipper, later revealed to be Cina Rad, Klocke’s school peer and good

IULHQG��FRQ¿UPHG�WKDW�WKH�LPSHUIHFW�PDUN�ZDV�LQ�IDFW�HDUQHG�LQ�KHDOWK�class.

“It’s not too bad I guess, I mean everyone gets a B sometime don’t

WKH\"´�VDLG�.ORFNH�KHVLWDQWO\�LQ�D�GLIIHUHQW�LQWHUYLHZ�DWWHPSW��³2K��who am I kidding? I just wish I could go back in time and redo it,

EXW�SHRSOH�ZKR�JHW�%V�DUHQ¶W�VPDUW�HQRXJK�WR�EXLOG�D�WLPH�PDFKLQH�´ No longer referred to as a genius, Klocke’s teachers also seem

VXUSULVHG�WR�KHDU�RI�WKLV�ÀDZ�LQ�WKH�*3$�RI�RQH�RI�WKHLU�VWDU�SXSLOV�

When asked for her response on the news of her brother, Zia

Klocke, older sister and junior, agreed that it truly was uncharacter-

istic of Kai to have such a drastic dip in academic performance. But

VKH�ZDV�TXLFN�WR�KLJKOLJKW�WKH�EHQH¿WV�RI�WKH�VLWXDWLRQ�� ³.QRZLQJ�.DL��KH�ZLOO�ZDQW�WR�GR�WKH�,%�GLSORPD��*HWWLQJ�D�%�this year as a sophomore is only preparing him for the inevitable as a

junior. He should think of it as just skipping a step and being ahead

RI�WKH�JDPH�´�VDLG�=LD�.ORFNH� Rumors are spreading throughout the halls of Sunset about the

incident. Many students believe this less-than-perfect mark will be a

one-time occurrence, but some predict that Kai Klocke is headed into

a downward spiral of bad grades.

Since Kai Klocke’s B-Day, he’s been spotted in his room, bur-

ied under a fortress of textbooks and listening to Khan Academy

on repeat.

6XQVHW�,QGLYLGXDOV

Heywood serenades a little friend of hers in the court-yard during lunch. Katie enjoys spending her free time interacting with the local animals.


��$OWKRXJK�PDQ\�SHRSOH�VXVSHFWHG�SK\VLFV�teacher Shannon Schilling to be a secret under-

ground rapper, his sudden callback as a sound

effects guy for a new animated series took most

E\�VXUSULVH��´,W�DOO�MXVW�VWDUWHG�ZLWK�PH�GRLQJ�ZHHNO\�SHU-IRUPDQFHV�LQ�3RUWODQG��7KH�DXGLHQFH�VHHPHG�WR�DSSUHFLDWH�P\�VLFN�UK\PHV�µ�VD\V�6FKLOOLQJ��´,�JHQHUDOO\�MXVW�UDSSHG�DERXW�WKH�MRXUQH\�RI�P\�voice through the circuitry of the sound sys-

WHP�µ��6FKLOOLQJ�GLGQ·W�OLPLW�KLPVHOI�WR�MXVW�UDSSLQJ�DERXW�IDVFLQDWLQJ�SK\VLFV�WRSLFV��'XULQJ�RQH�UHFHQW�SHUIRUPDQFH�KH�UHYHDOHG�D�QHZ�WDOHQW��´,�GHFLGHG�WR�LQFRUSRUDWH�P\�RZQ�VRXQG�HIIHFWV�LQWR�WKH�O\ULFV��7KH�DXGLHQFH�LPPHGL-DWHO\�ORYHG�LW�µ�VD\V�6FKLOOLQJ��´7KDW·V�ZKHQ�,�WKRXJKW�XS�WKH�VWUHHW�QDPH�´6KDQ�GDZJµ��,�QHHGHG�WR�HDUQ�VWUHHW�FUHG�µ��&DVWLQJ�GLUHFWRU�+DQN�6PDOOSDQWV�VDZ�KLV�

performance while scouting for potential

YRLFH�DFWRUV�IRU�D�QHZ�DQLPDWHG�VHULHV��´,�WROG�KLP�KH�KDG�D�ORW�RI�SRWHQWLDO��DQG�WKHQ�KH�DVNHG�PH�ZKDW�NLQG��+H�WKRXJKW�,�meant gravitational potential energy because

he was leaning over to talk to me from the

VWDJH�µ�VD\V�6PDOOSDQWV��´,W�ZDV�DFWXDOO\�TXLWH�SUHFDULRXV�µHe is expected to begin doing the sound

HIIHFWV�IRU�WKH�VKRZ��´8VH�WKH�0DVV�WLPHV�$FFHOHUDWLRQ��/XNHµ�LQ�ODWH�-XQH��´,�GLGQ·W�NQRZ�,�ZDV�WKLV�JRRG�DW�GRLQJ�VRXQG�HIIHFWV��,�JXHVV�ZKHQ�\RXU�UHSXWDWLRQ�KHDWV�XS��LW·V�ERXQG�WR�H[SDQG�DW�VRPH�SRLQW�µ�VD\V�6FKLOOLQJ��´6KDQ�GDZJµ�6FKLOOLQJ�ZLOO�FRQWLQXH�KLV�underground rapping career as his surpris-

ing sound effects career rises to inter-district

stardom, and his students will continue to be

VWXQQHG�E\�KLV�KLGGHQ�WDOHQW�

Rookie rapper Shan-dawg Schilling &ashes his sig-nature physics gang sign. He will be releasing a new album this fall called “Quantum Consciousness.”

Anamika Vaughan

Mermaid Man

2Q�6DWXUGD\��)HE��PDWK�WHDFKHU�.\OH�'REDVKL�ZDV�ZDONLQJ�GRZQ�WKH�VWUHHW��KDLU�IORZLQJ�LQ�WKH�ZLQG�MXVW�OLNH�DQ\�RWKHU�GD\�when he was approached by a scout for Pan-

WHQH�+DLU�&DUH��7KH�VFRXW�ZDV�VR�EORZQ�DZD\�E\�'REDVKL·V�WUHVVHV�WKDW�KH�ZDV�RIIHUHG�D�MRE�DV�WKHLU�QHZ�VSRNHV�PRGHO�ULJKW�WKHQ�DQG�WKHUH��$IWHU�DFFHSWLQJ�WKH�MRE�RIIHU��'REDVKL�ZDV�ZKLVNHG�WR�3DQWHQH·V�KHDGTXDUWHUV�DQG�QRWL-ILHG�RI�WKH�GXWLHV�WKDW�KLV�MRE�HQWDLOV��´$VLGH�IURP�WKH�VWDQGDUG�FRPPHUFLDOV�DQG�magazine advertisements, some of the more

interesting duties include flirtatiously flipping

my hair once every five minutes and having

to brush each lock one hundred times before

EHG�µ�VDLG�'REDVKL��$IWHU�VLJQLQJ�DQ�RIILFLDO�FRQWUDFW�ZLWK�3DQWHQH��'REDVKL�ZDV�HYHQ�DVVLJQHG�DQ�DV-sistant to follow him around with a fan at all

WLPHV�� Though being a shampoo model sounds

OLNH�D�JODPRURXV�MRE��'REDVKL�IRXQG�WKDW�LW�KDV�LWV�FKDOOHQJHV��+H�KDV�WR�VSHQG�HLJKW�KRXUV�a day teaching and grading papers at school

only to return home and have to wash his hair

IRU�WKH�QH[W�VL[�RU�VHYHQ�KRXUV��´,W·V�WRXJK�ZRUN��EXW�MXVW�NQRZLQJ�WKDW�,�am making a difference in the world makes it

DOO�ZRUWK�LW�µ�VDLG�'REDVKL��,W�ZDV�UHFHQWO\�OHDNHG�WKDW�+HUEDO�(VVHQFHV�KDG�WKHLU�H\H�RQ�'REDVKL�EHIRUH�3DQWHQH�DQG�ZHUH�RXWUDJHG�ZKHQ�KH�ZDV�VFRXWHG��,Q�EDFN-

lash Herbal Essences spent the last couple of

ZHHNV�WU\LQJ�WR�SHUVXDGH�'REDVKL�WR�FDQFHO�his contract with Pantene and come work for

WKHP�LQVWHDG��&RQWURYHUV\�DURVH�DQG�'REDVKL�EHFDPH�so overwhelmed with the pressure from each

company that late one night he did the un-

speakable: he picked up his electric razor and

VKDYHG�RII�HYHU\�ODVW�LQFK�RI�KDLU��´,�NQRZ�LW�ZDV�UDVK��EXW�WKH�GUDPD�ZDV�EHFRPLQJ�WRR�PXFK�WR�KDQGOH��,�FRXOGQ·W�WDNH�LW�DQ\PRUH��$W�OHDVW�QRW�QRZ�µ�VDLG�'REDVKL��´0\�KDLU�VKRXOG�EULQJ�RXW�WKH�JRRG�LQ�SHRSOH��QRW�WKH�EDG�µ��5XPRU�KDV�LW�'REDVKL�DOUHDG\�KDV�SODQV�WR�grow out his hair again and sign with Tresem-

Pp�+DLU�6XSSO\�ZKHQ�KH�GRHV�

Dobashi shows o# his locks in one of the latest Pantene ads. His early life struggles with dan-dru# have made him proud of the shiny tresses he has recently sported due to the shampoo swap.

Sage Steineke

She-Ra

Iahmh�\hnkm^lr�h_�=hkbhg�Iahmh`kZiar

7HDFKHUV


6FKLOOLQJ�IRXQG�WR�EH�XQGHUJURXQG�UDSSHU�¶6KDQ�'DZJ�· UHFLHYHV�FDOOEDFN�IRU�VRXQG�HIIHFWV�JX\

'REDVKL�UHYHDOHG�DV�3DQWHQH·V�QHZ�VSRNHVPRGHO

(QWHUWDLQPHQW+RW��KHOSIXO��KRSHIXO��KLODULRXV��KXQN\�KRURVFRSHV�IRU�0DUFK�

Aquarius (January 20–February 18): Your originality will come as a shock to

everyone when you unveil your latest invention at the end of the month.

Pisces (February 19–March 20): Someone will hack into your Facebook ac-

count and reveal the secret you’ve been hiding. The upside to this messy situation

is that the revealing post will get millions of likes, making you Facebook-famous.

Aries (March 21–April 19): The person who you have been in love with for the

SDVW�FRXSOH�RI�GD\V�ZLOO�¿QDOO\�JLYH�\RX�D�FKDQFH�� Taurus (April 20–May 20): There will be many favors asked of you. Lay out

your priorities and evaluate who is worthy of your time and who isn’t.

Gemini (May 21–June 20): <RX�ZLOO�¿QDOO\�PHHW�WKH�ORYH�RI�\RXU�OLIH��EXW�LW�will happen in a dreadful location: the gym. Time to get off the couch.

Cancer (June 21–July 22): There will be an amazing party that has the power

to positively change your social status; however, your parent/guardian will not let

you attend. If you try to sneak out and go, your tires will get slashed.

Leo (July 23–August 22): Your Twitter days are numbered because your fol-

lowers are getting tired of seeing your overwhelming hashtags. The number of

followers that you currently have will slowly decrease until you have none, and

you will be irrelevant.

Virgo (August 23–September 22): Congrats! Your YouTube video will go

viral. Say hello to overnight fame and your own reality show.

Libra (September 23–October 22): This isn’t a good month for you. An over-

]HDORXV�VKRSSLQJ�WULS�ZLOO�ZLOO�PD[�RXW�\RXU�FUHGLW�FDUG��7LPH�WR�¿OH�IRU�EDQNUXSWF\� Scorpio (October 23–November 21): Someone will curse you. Every time

you go out and eat fast food, you will instantly gain 10 pounds. There is no way to

break this curse.

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21): Your Hogwarts acceptance letter

ZLOO�¿QDOO\�DUULYH�LQ�WKH�PDLO��:LWK�JUHDW�ZL]DUGO\�VNLOOV�FRPH�JUHDW�UHVSRQVLELOLWLHV� Capricorn (December 22–January 19): You will construct an extraordinary

dinner for your family and friends; unfortunately, they will get vicious, uncontrollable

diarrhea the next day. Hang up your apron and go back to ordering

take-out.

Amy Morales

Black Canary

Currently, the sta# and students at Sunset are scrambling to get through their day, but they have not considered what can happen in the near future. $e month of March will bring both ups and downs.

Iahmh�<hnkm^lr�h_�pZeeiZi^kfZgbZ'^n

1HZ�ODZ�UHVWULFWV�VWXGHQWV IURP�HDWLQJ�EHIRUH�WDNLQJ�,QVWDJUDP�SKRWRV

Mady Coughlin

Superwoman

A new law mandating all Instagram users to take pictures of their

food before they eat will be put into effect June 11, 2013. Instagram

has worked with the government to put this law into place because

of the inconsistent food posts by many users.

“We feel that the new legislation is not much of a change because

most users already post the majority of their food intake on our site,

WKLV�ODZ�MXVW�HQVXUHV�WKDW�WKH\�DUH�EHLQJ�XQYDU\LQJ�LQ�WKHLU�SRVWV�´�said an Instagram spokesperson.

Violators of the law will receive a hefty fine depending on the

time of day, amount of food and location which they neglected to

take a picture. Because of this, many Sunset students are reverting

to their old Myspace profiles, as a way to network socially in place

of Instagram.

“I forgot how cool Myspace is. Now that all of my friends and

I are back on using it to connect, it reminds me of old times. I’m

glad they made the law, actually, and I now have a new and better

ZD\�WR�FRQQHFW�ZLWK�P\�IULHQGV�RQ�WKH�LQWHUQHW�´�VDLG�VHQLRU�'HEELH�Ehfad.

� � � � �2Q� WKH� RWKHU� KDQG�� WKHUH� DUH�PDQ\�GHGLFDWHG� ,QVWDJUDP�XVHUV�who continue to use the site and are outraged by the new rules.

“Instagram just isn’t the same now that the majority of my

pictures are of food. Before it was artsy and fun to show off what I

was eating, but now that I post everything I eat it just seems like

DQ�LQYDVLRQ�RI�SULYDF\�´�VDLG�VHQLRU�/LVD�3DUN��³,�KDYH�ORVW�PRVW�RI�my followers because they are constantly bombarded with pictures

of my meals, rather than pictures of me and my friends or my

SKRWRJUDSK\�´ Instagram has decided not to comment on the reaction to the new

rule and stands by it’s new law. It is expected that Instagram will

soon become obsolete. We are now left to wonder: what will the

next hit social networking site be like, and what will be its down fall?

A group of freshmen girls use their smartphones to post Instagram photos of their lunches. Many students are preparing for the new law by getting in the habit of posting all of their meals and snacks.


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