“All it takes is one phone call and one’s problem can be solved within a week,” says Chaya Melber, the woman behind Taha-reinu, the hotline that has helped tens of thousands of Jewish women regain their health and shalom bayis.

Native New Yorkers who now live in Yerushalayim, the Mel-bers have been selflessly filling the void in the frum communi-ty. For the past decade, they have made themselves available to Jewish couples around the globe who are grappling with issues pertaining to women’s health that have halachic ramifications and implications on shalom bayis.

Empowering Women, Impacting FamiliesAbout a decade ago, when Rav Melber was serving as a day-

an in a Bais Hora’ah in the Romema area in Yerushalayim, he observed that being an expert in practical halacha was not

enough. Rather, he realized that there was a need for a rab-binical authority to see beyond the issues in order to find

medical solutions. Thus began Rav Melber’s foray into the world of medicine—a world that greatly appealed to his medical sense.

“Even the doctors are not always aware of ad-vancements in the medical world!” says Rav Mel-ber. “Most doctors specialize in a specific field and are also so busy seeing patients so that they don’t have the time to attend conferences and keep their medical knowledge up to par. Medical ad-vancements are huge and constantly evolving.”

When Rav Melber became aware of this gaping void, and upon the behest of the Rab-bonim who recognized his depth of under-standing in the delicate field, he embarked on a program of self-study, enrolled in courses, and frequented medical conferences. An at-tendee of numerous international annual health conferences, Rav Melber has amassed

an unmatched level of expertise in the field. His vast familiarity with various treatment available

in the field of obstetrics, gynecology, and fertility has rightfully earned him recognition and admiration

by top doctors in the field. Today, he has developed a

reputation as the go-to person for couples and other poskim when complicated she’ilos arise. Thanks to his innate under-standing of the field and his intense studies, he is often invited by Batei Hora’ah of all sects to speak with their dayanim, as well as by prominent doctors in the field.

Through his renowned organization, Toras Hamishpacha, Rav Melber has not only guided couples directly, but he has also provided guidance and medical updates to Rabbonim, dayanim, and kallah teachers around the world. On trips back to the US, Rav Melber’s first target for rabbinic seminars was his hometown of Monsey. But word spread, and over the years he has been asked to create seminars in other communities throughout the Tri-State area, New Jersey, and other states, as well.

After Rav Melber gave one such seminar that was arranged by Rebetzin Esther Reisman for kallah teachers and nurses in-volved in women’s health in Flatbush, he got a phone call from a woman, who was referred to him by one of the teachers in attendance. She confided that she’d tried for over one and a half years to find a solution to her problems and thanks to Rav Melber’s siyatta dishmaya and expert guidance, she has now been helped.

Rav Melber’s selfless dedication on behalf of the frum com-munity is awe-inspiring. At all hours of the day and night, he devotes himself toward providing couples with the support they need toward greater clarity, health, and harmony. However, he does not operate alone. Chaya, Rav Melber’s wife, has been working tirelessly at his side, having obtained the knowledge her husband is eager to share to save families in klal yisrael.

She confided that she’d tried for over one and a half years to find a solution to her problems and thanks to Rav Melber’s siyatta dishmaya and expert guidance, she has now been helped.

TahareinuThe Must-Have Phone Number

For Every Jewish Home By Shiffy Friedman

A A Jewish woman’s life is never static. Cycles that are a microcosm of the peaks and troughs that represent life as a whole are part of her. But they can present challenges that can have profound repercussions on a woman’s emotional health, as well as the harmony in

her home. When they present issues into an endless stretch of uncer-tainty, the entire foundation of the Jewish home hangs in the balance.

When a woman has a concern regarding her physical health, she may feel very alone. The issue sits heavily on her mind and heart and allows her no peace. She desperately wants to discuss her problem with an expert, someone who can guide her toward a real solution. Someone who understands the holiness of a Jewish home, A doctor may provide her with medical insight, but does he have the sensitivity or knowledge to address halachic ramifications? Does he understand taha-ras hamishpacha? Her Rav will advise her with halacha but a Rav’s medical knowledge may be limited.. And most women would rather suffer in silence rather than discuss certain details of their life with a friend or even family member. Rav Yitzchak Melber, a renowned halachic and medical expert in the field of women’s health, and his wife Chaya, are well aware of this quandary that many women face. For this reason, they have been selflessly dedicating themselves to their organization Toras Hamishpacha, Their esteemed organization, which was founded with the Jewish family in mind, and is run by Rav Melber and Rav Dovid Bartfeld and under the guidance of Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz shlit”a offers a gamut of services pertaining to taharas hamishpacha, specifi-cally regarding medical issues, free of charge.

At a Toras Hamishpacha conference for Rabbonim and doctors in London

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Once couples around the world took note of the Melber’r ex-pertise recruiting a staff became a necessary next step. Rav Mel-ber’s initial idea of helping as many couples as possible through Toras Hamishpacha led to the creation of Tahareinu, a ground-breaking service to couples the world over.

Taharein’s hotline answers over 3,000 calls every month. It of-fers callers the opportunity to speak with a competent woman-to-woman advisor. With more than 200 hours of training under their belts covering all aspects of women’s health, the hashkafi-cally solid, qualified women that serve as woman-to-woman ad-visors have the ability to give it their all.

“Every woman on the team,” says Chaya, who stands at the helm of the training, “attends a rigorous yearlong course that provides her with information regarding every facet of women’s health. Even once they complete the course, they attend month-ly seminars. At the training, medical experts in the field, the top staff of Shaarei Tzedek, Hadassa, and Tel Hashomer, share the latest advancements, treatment options, and medical discoveries with the advisors to ensure that each of them is up to par and equipped to handle any which question that comes her way.”

For most women, the advice provided by an advisor or Rav through Tahareinu is enough to restore health and harmony in the home, but reaching out to Toras Hamishpacha offers another excellent benefit for couples in need of further medical assis-tance, especially in Israel. “Because we have connections in the field,” says Rav Melber, “we can get a woman an appointment at a top specialist in her area without the usual prolonged wait.”

Keep The NumberThe most oft-heard phrase on the Tahareinu hotline is prob-

ably, “Why didn’t I know about you last year?” This is the rea-son Rav Yitzchak and Mrs. Chaya Melber took the time out of their filled schedule to meet with me during the hectic pre-Yom Tov season. “We want every woman, anywhere in the world, to know of the services we provide,” states Rav Yitzchak pas-sionately. “We’ve seen first-hand how emotional health and the marriage can be restored when a woman’s receives the proper

attention to he physical healt.” About 30 advisors, mostly female, take shifts on the Tahareinu

hotline that welcomes calls from around the world— even from far-out places like Russia! (“We needed a translator for that one,” quips Chaya.) While majority of the calls are from the US (600), Europe, and Israel, calls come in from over 20 countries, from places the Melbers never imagined they would reach. “We never advertised in these places,” says Rav Melber, “but word of our organization spread from one Rav or kallah teacher to another, spanning continents.”

On Chol Hamoed Pesach, Rav Melber received a phone call

from the owner of a pharmacy in Kiryas Yoel, Monroe. “He told me that he hung up our sign in his store because he heard that the Rabbonim are referring people to us.” Indeed, Rabbonim from every stripe know that Tahareinu is the first number to call when an issue pertaining to medicine and halacha regarding women’s health arises.

Sponsored by Reb Shlomo Bronner of Yerushalayim, the re-cently upgraded technologically advanced system ensures ut-most privacy and efficiency to every caller. “No woman should be suffering in silence,” adds Chaya. “A woman recently called in from Monsey. She said she was suffering for years until she picked up our flier in Lakewood.”

In another telling episode, when one Boro Park woman’s physical health issues that spanned over fourteen months led to too much family dysfunction, the couple decided to split up. Af-ter they made this decision, one of the family members was ad-vised by a Rav to call the hotline. Divine providence led Chaya

Melber to take this woman’s call. “Mrs. Melber recommended a procedure that we had never tried before,” says Debbie, the wife. “Because of my symptoms and history I was advised to stop all medications and try this procedure instead.”

In no time, Chaya received a phone call from Dr. Scott Chud-noff, an ob-gyn specialist at Montefiore Hospital. “Ten minutes into her visit,” said the doctor, “I asked my patient who had referred her to me. I immediately realized that the information she was giving me was ‘not Brooklyn stuff,’” he said. “This infor-mation must be coming from an expert in the field.” The doctor, it turned out, was a shomer Shabbos Jew who looked forward to meeting the Melbers during his upcoming visit to Eretz Yisrael.

After the woman underwent the procedure under Dr. Chud-noff’s care, she phoned Chaya. “I want to volunteer for Taha-reinu,” she said. “I want to do whatever I can to spread the word. Who knows how many couples split up just for reasons like mine?”

Indeed, this grateful recipient of Tahareinu’s services, who to-day enjoys a beautiful marriage and a happy home, makes it her duty to volunteer in many ways.

Every woman understands that her physical health has a direct impact on her emotional wellbeing. However, for some women, the toll that a physical issue has on their emotional health is especially profound. The Melbers are one couple who know just how true this is. In one case in point that Rav Melber recounts, he was contacted by several Rabbonim in Monsey who told him that he must see a certain couple immediately. “My husband met Rav Melber first,” shares Gitty of the incident that transpired two years ago. “He revealed that I was suffering for eighteen months,

since the birth of our last child. As a result, I had become seri-ously depressed to the extent that I had suicidal thoughts. I had told him that if he wouldn’t find a solution to the issues pertain-ing to taharas hamishpacha, I would harm myself.”

“With his inimitable and calm demeanor, Rav Melber did not disappoint us. He mapped out a clear plan that eventually re-stored my physical health. Once I gained trust in the work of Toras Hamishpacha, I agreed to see the psychologist they recom-mended, as well. I am forever grateful to Toras Hamishpacha for saving every aspect of my life.”

Cases like these, Rav Melber is quick to point out, are not the regular fare at Tahareinu. Of the 150 daily calls that come in on average, one or more are novel material. The rest of the queries that flood in from around the world are relatively simple cases, each of which is tended to with utmost care and expertise. “We are here to empower women,” says Chaya, “to be healthy wives and mothers.”

Esteem in all EyesNot only the Rabbonim and countless recipients of his expert

advice are grateful for Rav Melber and his team’s knowledge. The doctors, as well, have recognized Toras Hamishpacha as the ideal source of medical information in consideration with hala-cha. Rav Melber converses with them often about the interface of cutting-edge medicine and halachah, which helps them deal sensitively with their frum patients. Indeed, he was recently in-vited by the Ministry of Health to teach the country’s top doc-tor’s about women’s health issues and their place in halacha. As the only chareidi member of the women’s health council in Is-rael, Rav Melber utilized the opportunity to discuss the chareidi family’s value system, which served as an eye-opener for secular practitioners.

The expertise of Chaya, too, is held in high esteem in the eyes of the specialists in the field. At Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz’s program for women who plan to guide others, Chaya delivers lectures on relevant topics which will enable them to provide help to others. She spent close to two hours discussing a specific cause of infertility, after which a woman came over to her and said that she had been suffering from this very issue for a while. “I lived in London for two years and the doctors told me it was in her head. Her sister, she told me, had the same problem.” The validation this woman received went a long way in easing her emotional pain.

When the Melbers realized that a number of women in the community suffer from this issue, they threw themselves into finding a solution. Ever the go-getter, Rav Melber located a doc-tor in Israel that performs a unique procedure that is already approved by the FDA but not yet available in the US because the doctors are still in the training stage. This treatment replaces an extremely complicated, painful, and costly surgery to the tune of $14,000 that no insurance or organization covers. “Six couples from around the world,” Rav Melber reveals, “are currently in Israel to undergo this procedure.”

I had the opportunity to speak with one such couple. “We were ready to give up,” says Mr. Reich, an American father of three who is spending several weeks with his wife and children in Eretz Yisrael. “The doctors all told us that this is how things would remain for us. But hashgacha had it that I attended an

No woman should be suffering in silence. A woman recently called in from Monsey. She said she was suffering for years until she picked up our flier in Lakewood.

His wife had been suffering for eighteen months, since the birth of their last child. As a result, she had become seriously depressed to the extent that it spiraled into suicidal tendencies. She told him that if he won’t find a solution, she would harm herself.

Dr Adler speaking at Toras Hamishpacha’s London Dinner

Rabbi Melber leading a medical panel at a Zareinu conference for Rabbonim

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event where Rav Melber was present. When I asked someone who he was, he told me that Rav Melber is the medical and halachic expert on all things related to women’s health. I figured I had nothing to lose by approaching him.

“Just having him listen to my story was already a great relief,” remembers an emotional Mr. Reich. “We walked over to a quiet place and when I finished saying my piece, he told me that there was hope. When I heard that, I literally jumped. I couldn’t be-lieve that things would actually change for us.”

And change they did, baruch Hashem. After receiving the support of their Rebbe, the Reichs made the trip to Eretz Yisrael, where they met the specialist who usually has an endless waiting list. “We’re seeing the end of the tunnel,” he shares with appar-ent excitement. “I am forever indebted to Rav Melber. We not only got a diagnosis that we haven’t gotten anywhere else—and we went to lots of doctors, but also unparalleled service.

“Every time we left a message, we were never left hanging. Someone called us back in no time. There’s no such thing as no answer, and we’re not the only ones. I wish I would be a gevir so I can pay them back for their unbelievable chessed.”

Mr. Reich shares that in the process of the diagnosis, he learned that 10% of women suffer from the issue his wife strug-gled with. “I thought to myself,” he says, “Ribono shel Olam, If 10% of chareidi women have this problem and none of them are discussing it with an expert or know of Rav Melber’s existence, how many families must be suffering! From where will their sal-vation come?”

Toward the end of our telephone conversation, Mr. Reich re-marks, “I wasn’t prepared to speak with you today. It hurts me that I’m only saying this. It’s not even a tenth of what I have to say. Thanks to Rav Melber, we have hope.”

Two days before our interview, Chaya lectured on this very topic to 150 medical liaisons from around the country. “Many doctors,” she laments, “don’t even know the difference between physical symptoms and psychological ones.”

“When Professor Neri Laufer, the head ob-gyn at Hadassa Medical Center, met with a group of advisors for training, he told them that many doctors don’t know what they know,” says Chaya. “The women brushed off his comment as a compliment. But the next day, I got a phone call from him. He told me the same words. I explained to him that these women possess the knowledge of all the top doctors put together. We’ve gathered all the specialties in one intensive program in order to ensure that the recipients of our services get the best care possible.”

Specialized CareAlthough the Tahareinu hotline is at the service of every Jew-

ish woman, there is only so much the trained advisors can pro-vide in terms of complex health information for every possible issue a woman can experience. When more advanced fertility issues come into play, Rav Melber takes over. Through his orga-nization, Zareinu, he has stood at the side of men and women grappling with the issues that childlessness engenders.

“When a young couple settles in Eretz Yisrael after their wed-ding,” says Rav Melber, “they’re all on their own. If they realize they have an issue, whom should they turn to?”

Of course, fertility organizations exist in every corner of the world. Am Yisrael is a loving, giving nation and the heart of the Jewish world is no exception. However, Rav Melber was made aware by one struggling couple that there was one void he would have to fill: an English-speaking destination for couples in need.

“A while back,” shares a yungerman from Europe who’s learn-ing in Brisk in Yerushalayim, “I came over to Rav Melber’s office and told him that my wife and I were expecting a simcha any day. ‘You helped us after five years of pain,’ I told him. ‘And now, give me permission to criticize your services. I saw that we had issues from the start. We were at a loss. We tried this doctor and that one for four years, until I bumped into your number almost by accident. After one meeting in your office and a few follow-up phone calls, I’m here today to tell the tale of joy. Tell me one reason why I didn’t know about you four years ago.’”

“Hundreds of new couples come here every year,” the yunger-man said to Rav Melber. “They should know about you!” Rav Mel-ber told him he would do his research to see if there were truly no English-speaking advisors for fertility issues and that if it turned out that he was correct, he would place an ad in the English circu-lar. He was right. And so, Toras Hamishpacha placed an ad. After a few weeks, they were forced to stop running the ad because the sheer volume of calls maximized their resources.

Since Pesach time last year, when the Rabbonim reached out to Rav Melber to start a proper fertility advisement service, he has helped over 300 couples in Yerushalayim. In addition to medical advice, Zareinu helps with obtaining immediate ap-

pointments at sought-after specialists with long waiting lists, as well as a Hebrew and English speaking advisor’s steady guid-ance throughout to help the couple deal with the language bar-rier. The countless thank you letters that poured into Zareinu’s inbox and post box this past Rosh Hashanah are only a small proof of the great things the young organization has already helped happen.

Indeed, on the morning of our interview, Rav Melber met with a childless couple who is originally from Monsey and now re-sides in Yerushalayim. “They’ve been struggling for nine years,” says Rav Melber, “and their Rav asked me to meet with them this morning. I tried to give them a listening ear and my sym-pathy, but also the knowledge that there is hope. Couples need to hear that so badly. I told the wife about an emotional sup-port group that we run at one of the hospitals and I gave them an opportunity to unburden themselves. After we discussed their emotional support, I offered to take them to a meeting with a doctor at Tel Hashomer who I think may be what they need, with Hashem’s help. The secretary told me that the doc-tor doesn’t have time before two months, but that we can come next week.” When Rav Melber goes along with the patient, the couples have reported, the doctor provides a different level of treatment. So, next week will find Rav Melber at the side of this couple, in heart and mind as well.

“I was the person who thought I was more clever than any-one,” shares Zev, an English yungerman who’s been living in Yerushalayim since he got married five years ago. “We thought we understood our problem on our own, that we could take

care of it too. But we learned the hard way that a couple who is struggling with fertility should not do anything on their own.”

Zev, who is finally expecting a simcha, candidly shared how his mistakes impacted the first five years of his marriage. “The uncertainty and failure of the treatments we tried truly impacted our relationship. We went to the wrong doctors and the wrong hospitals. Only once we finally reached out to Zareinu were we politely shown that we were headed in the wrong direction. But it was more than the connections that they had to the right doctors. It was the heart with which they took every step. No matter when we called, someone was always available to speak with us. And we especially appreciated how Rav Melber and the advisors were so sensitive to our plight.”

Zev describes the admirable sensitivity in detail. “They would schedule our appointments with our vacation in mind, and if they knew it would be hard on us to get a negative answer from the lab, they offered to see the results first in order to ease the blow.”

Care You Can TouchIn the few enlightening hours I spend in the company of the

Melber couple, I am in awe of the defining factor that is perhaps the single most cornerstone of this groundbreaking movement. The caring the Melber’s exhibit towards every single Jew, men and women they will never meet or know..

“Even through the long-distance telephone lines, women can sense the warmth that every advisor exudes, the sympathy and understanding she truly feels,” says Chaya. Guided by the es-teemed Melber couple, I say, the mentors don’t know Tahareinu any other way.

“Our advisors do this avodas hakodesh for one reason,” says Chaya warmly. “They get their sipuk even at the end of the phone call, before the woman has even tried their advice. The relief a caller feels that someone is listening to her already lifts her mood.”

The team at Tahareinu, Chaya is quick to add, does appreciate when callers make a follow-up phone call. “This helps us know which advice worked and which needs tweaking. We appreci-ated when callers get back to us for this reason.”

Often, women who are grateful to Tahareinu for the way it miraculously restored their health and harmony will call back to ask how they can spread the word. “We assume that for every phone call that we get,” says Chaya, “there are at least 7 or 8 who aren’t calling.”

The care Rav Melber feels toward every single Jew in need is evident in the joy that lights up his eyes when he speaks of the miracles. “When women call back to share how they were helped, it really fills us with an indescribable joy. One phone call was all it took to put their life back together.”

All names and identifying details have been changed to protect the anonymity of the couples involved.

Toras Hamishpacha can be reached at: Israel: 07-22-24-24-24, USA: 1 855-482-4272, UK: 0203-150-1536, and in Belgim: 32-3-808-4482

“Ribono shel Olam, If 10% of chareidi women have a problem and none of them are discussing it with an expert or know of Rav Melber’s existence, how many families must be suffering! From where will their salvation come?”

When Rav Melber goes along with the patient, the couples have reported, the doctor provides a different level of treatment. So, next week will find Rav Melber at the side of this couple, in heart and mind as well.

Medical Conference for Toras Hamishpacha staff with specialists at Hadassah Har Hatzofim

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Dr Scott Chudnoff visits the Toras Hamishpacha office