Self-Confidence Workshop OutlineIcebreaker (15 mins)

Goals:● To allow engagement between participants● To remove the tension in the room ● Balloon popping as how we pop the “personal space” balloons up

(= burst out of our shells and show our confidence)

Activity: Truth or Dare & Eggs Easter Eggs with strips of paper inside that include different activities that participants have to do. These Truth or Dare will include:

● What is your special talent?● Give a compliment to someone in this room● What was your childhood nickname?● Whom you love the most?● Choose anyone here and dance with them● Go outside and do the chicken dance● Give a flying kiss to someone ● What is your favorite kind of clothing?● Who is your best looking teacher that you have ever had?● Using your elbow, post a Facebook status on your wall● What is the worst thing being a grown up?● What is one embarrassing fact I should know about you?● Go to someone random and ask for a hug● Spin around 10 times, when you get done, try to walk in a straight line● Act like a chicken for 1minute● Lick your nose● What did you do on your 1st night of freshman year?● What is the best party that you have ever been to?● What is the best dish that your mom made for dinner?● What is the funniest thing your grandparents have ever said?● Describe your dream home● What is your favorite holiday and why?● What is the craziest thing that you have ever done without your parents

knowing?

Greeting, Introduction, Talk about CCP, & Purpose of Workshop (3 mins)

V/J: Hello everyone and welcome to our workshop! As you may already know, this workshop is called ...

V & J (together): NO MORE RUNNING AWAY Y’ALL, LET’S WERK THE RUNWAY!!!!!!

V/J: My name is Jessica and this is Virak. We are Counseling Center Paraprofessionals and are excited to be here with you all today. Today’s topic will be on developing self-confidence. Our goal for this workshop is that you all leave this room feeling more confident than ever before.

V/J: Just as a friendly reminder, we are not experts on the topic but have done research on certain points of this topic and will be sharing all of these points with you today. We hope to answer all of your questions on self-confidence but if unable to, we will direct you all to appropriate campus resources.

V/J: In the meantime, let’s just sit down, relax, and enjoy the rest of the workshop. Please feel free to add in anything you want to share!

Ground Rules & Confidentiality (3 mins)

V/J: We would like to establish some mutual ground rules. How about we let you all decide what to put on the ground rules?

● Everyone’s input is equally valued. No idea is bad!● “Bring me a problem. Bring me a solution.”● Cell phones and electronic devices are preferred to be off● Confidentiality

*** Allow participants to add what they want to add as well ***

(transition:) Before we begin, let’s try to define the definition of self-confidence first!

What does self-confidence mean to you? (15 mins)

V/J: What we would like you all to do is to jot down some ideas in your packet of what you think it means to be self-confident?

V/J: Now share with your neighbor and discuss what you wrote down

Q: Can anyone share with us of what you all found in common or any differences in the definitions you two came up with?

● trust in one’s ability/quality● secure in yourself and your ability● no doubt● know what you are doing● comfortable in your own skin

V/J: Now let’s have a look at the definition we found ...

“The belief that one can accomplish what they set out to do, demonstrated by taking action toward their goals despite of obstacles”

Q: Say if we turn this definition into a formula, can anyone help me to figure it out?

The belief that (= Σ self-confidence )one can accomplish what they set out to do (= self-efficacy)which demonstrated by taking action towards their goals (= hard-working + optimism)despite of obstacles (= self-esteem)

Σ = self-efficacy + hard-working + optimism + self-esteem

V/J: Self-efficacy = the belief you can reach your goal Hard-working = regardless of one’s talents, penchants, tendencies,

abilities, pursuing a goal to the best of one’s ability Optimism = looking for the bright side of life = ½ cup full vs. ½ cup empty Self-esteem = the evaluation one makes of their capacities-confidence in

one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.

(transition:) So basically, the foundation for self-confidence is embracing your inherent value and capacity for success, even as you recognize you’ll meet challenges and failure along the way. Self-confidence is trusting that ultimately you have what it takes to be who you want to be.

Shield and Vulnerability (10-15 mins)

Goals:

● To realize the components that cause them lacking of self-confidence● To recognize what they are hiding behind● To reflect on self-acceptance and site for improvement● To give the opportunity to validate one’s positive self-perception

Activity:

V/J: Now if you could turn to the next page of your packet you will see two cute little drawings made by my brother. They’re cute, right? Can you guess what my brother drew?

V/J: The Knights and Warriors are those who would carry their shield to battle with them, as a means of defending themselves against different forms of enemy attack. Often the shape, style, and what it was made of, defined the origins of its owner.

V/J: Similarly, the way that we are about to use the personal shield is all about discovering and portraying our real identity.

V/J: unwilling to be vulnerable, we often protect ourselves daily by consciously and unconsciously acting in a way that keeps us from getting hurt … this could include you being who others want you to be rather than being yourself. The shield that you choose will symbolize not only the weapons you use to protect yourself but also the characteristics of self that make you the special person that you are. V/J: So now If you could first choose a shield that we have provided. Out of those threes, please choose one of them.

V/J: On each segment of your shields, please write: your greatest achievement, your greatest character strength, the worst put down that you have gotten, and 3 words or phrases you wouldn’t want your friends to say about you.

(give them time to write)

V/J: Would anyone like to share what they wrote?

V/J: Now you will color in the negative segments of the shield in any color that you would like so that you cannot see the words and leave the positive parts of the shield blank.

Lessons to take away: SELF-ACCEPTANCE & SELF-ESTEEM

Q: What do you think the goals of this activity aim for?

● To know that we all go through life and life isn’t a road with red carpet

● We use a shield/mask as a defense mechanism against any “enemy attacks”

● Having a clear self-picture helps to foster one’s sense of identity and is important in social interactions

● Self-concept and self-esteem are built up through the messages - both positive and negative and verbal and non-verbal - that we received from others

Q: Why is it important to come to realize the presence of the positive but also negative things that we have been putting on our shield?

● Some situations and circumstances are painful. They can leave us confused or feeling attacked

● Acknowledge the presence of such qualities and less denial would have positive effects on some ongoing conflicts

● After we are being mindful of what these things, it creates a stepping stone for change

V/J: Not only does self-confidence require ( point to the equation made) this equation but it also includes being self-accepting.

Q: Reflecting on the picture on pp. 10, what do you think the relationship between self-acceptance and self-confidence? How are they inter-related?

Self-acceptance↓

Embrace positive and negative facets of life ↓

Stop judging ourselves↓

Increase positive self-esteem↓

Realization of personal strength far outweigh our weaknesses↓

Increasing self-confidence

V/J: … but I, Jessica, and maybe some of you will not agree that self-confidence can be attained that easy just by accepting for who we are, right? The question is - ACCEPT HOW? To answer that question, we have brought a gift for everyone who came to this workshop today

The MOST Special Person In The World (15-20 mins)

Goals:

● To recognize personal strengths● To connect an individual with their own positive emotion and clarity of thinking● To be mindful of what they have within them● To develop ways to maximize those strengths

Activity:

V/J: Who do you think is the most special person in the whole world?

(allowing the participants to respond)

---- Q1 DISCUSSION ----

Why did you choose that person for the most special person? Is there something you want to share with us?

---- Q1 DISCUSSION ----

V/J: Well, I have a present with me, and you can look at it and discover the most special person in the world.

(give the participants a chance to look into the mirror after you ask who they think they will see)

V/J:

“Are you surprised?”

“You smiled so big, like you’re happy to see that you’re the special person.”

---- Q2 - Q6 DISCUSSION ----

Discussion Time: OPTIMISM

Q: How many of us wrote down someone else, but not us?

Q: Why is it never a case where we see ourselves as the most important in the world?

● A default mode of how we are perceiving ourselves

● The biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.

Q: How does it feel to see that you are the most special person in the world?

Q: How is it possible for each of us to “love the small child inside?”

● We must ask ourselves specifically what it is we don't accept about ourselves and, as agents of our own healing, bring compassion and understanding to each aspect of self-denial

● By doing so, we can begin to dissolve exaggerated feelings of guilt and shame based on standards that simply didn't mirror what could realistically be expected of us at the time.

Q: With the power of self-love instead of self-loathing, will self-confidence be achievable? Why or why not?

● Self-esteem is enhanced by positive strategies for self-support

● The ability to nurture ourselves through positive self-talk helps maintain self-worth

o We must start by telling ourselves that given all of our negatively biased self-referencing beliefs, we've done the best we could.

o We need to re-examine residual feelings of guilt, as well as our many self-criticisms and put-downs.

Lessons to Take Away: OPTIMISM & SELF-COMPASSION

V/J: So as you can see, by accepting who we are, our self-confidence can grow tremendously. It’s about taking the good with the bad and manifesting it into something great!

Research has found that …

● Giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health

● People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic

● Self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight

Q: Do you know that …?

● Higher levels of testosterone - in both men and women - lead to increased feelings of confidence

● Meanwhile, lower levels of cortisol lead to decreased anxiety and an improved ability to deal with stress

● What is particularly important about testosterone and cortisol is that your levels of each hormone can change rapidly depending on the social, physical, and environmental cues that surround you

Runway Walk & Body Poses (10 mins)

Goals:

● To leave the workshop with a fun activity● To create an interactive learning environment with other peers● To understand the interaction of biological composition to self-confidence● To practice self-confidence in an interactive way

Activity:

Q: Now, I want everybody to stand up. Who know what “The Wonder Woman/The SuperMan” pose looks like?

(let them to pose the pose)

V/J: What we gonna do is to breathe 3 times. The first one, breathe very hard. For the second one, be mild … and for the last one, just a gentle breath.

Q: How does everyone feel about the breathing exercise while maintaining the Wonder Woman/SuperMan pose?

V/J: Now if we could have everyone stand up and get in a line, and we’re going to WERK. THE. RUNWAY.

Lessons to take away: OPTIMISM

Q: How did it make you feel being on the runway and having everyone cheer you up?

Q: What does this have to do with feeling more confident?

● It turns out that one of the physical cues that impacts these two hormones is body language

● If you understand how to improve your body language, then you can increase your testosterone, decrease your cortisol, and feel more confident and risk tolerant

V/J: Just to be clear, we don’t believe that body language is the end all be allof becoming more confident. Self-confidence is a 2–way street that involves both your mind and body. So, before we come to an end, we would like to have a meditation session in hoping to develop your self-confidence. This meditation is called the “Ocean Wave” meditation.

The “ Ocean Wave” Meditation

Goals:

● To generate further positive thinking● To enlarge one’s self-confidence in an indirect mindfulness-based training● To reflect and examine one’s level of self-confidence

Activity: (10 mins)

Begin by taking three slow breaths.

Inhale & Exhale SLOWLY. Imagine yourself floating down into the chair.

With your next exhalation, let the chair hold you and let go of any unnecessary muscle tension.

Take a vacation from thinking. Let each breathing becomes a signal to your tummy movements.

Imagine that you are water of the ocean. Your mind wanders but soon begin to feel more and more like moving waves. As you continue to visualize, the waves grow taller and taller. They sweep away the tables, chair, building, etc.

You are those powerful waves sweeping over everything in sight.

Say to yourself as you exhale: “I am centered within my larger, wiser, and stronger self.”

With your next 3 breaths, count up from 1 to 3: One, becoming more adequately alert with each breathTwo, curious and interested about going rapidly from not-knowing to knowingThree, eager to begin, curious and interested about how much I will accomplish in such a short period of time.

Now as you are ready, slowly open your eyes and breathe every breath to acknowledge your present moment.

Lessons to take away:

Q: How does the meditation differ from the runway walk?(OR How does doing each of these activities make you feel?)

Q: In what way can meditation improve your self-confidence?

Q: How does it feel to relax your mind?

Q: In what way do the waves describe in the meditation?

Q: How does it feel to feel like you are a big wave crashing into everything?

Sometimes the most challenging opponents we face live inside of us. The confidence we need in life does not reside in temples on mountaintops. When we look with honesty inside our own hearts, that is where we find the self-belief we seek.

Once we decide to stop grading ourselves or "keeping score with" ourselves, we can thus then develop what we already got inside each of us and continue to build up our self-confidence!

Conclusion

So as we conclude the workshop, we would like to reflect on the components of self-confidence and what it means to be confident.

As described earlier, confidence is showing self-efficacy, being hard-working and optimistic, as well as believing you have the ability to achieve your goal.

It is about accepting both the things you like and dislike about yourself.

Not only it is mental, but also physiological.

Self-confidence can be built and we hope that the workshop was a building block and help you break down barriers in order to be more confident than ever before!

In order to continue on your quest to becoming more self-confident, we have provided you with some tips to practice after this workshop. Hope you enjoy!

Self-Confidence Tips

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.

3. Pay special attention to your personal hygiene: for example, style your hair, trim your nails, floss your teeth.

4. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

5. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Make meal times a special time, even if you are eating alone. Turn off the TV or radio, set the table, and arrange your food so that it looks attractive on your plate.

6. Exercise regularly: go out for a brisk walk every day, and take more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you break into a sweat) three times a week.

7. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

8. Manage your stress levels. If possible, agree with a close friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular basis.

9. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life.

10. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

11. Get involved in activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Such artistic activities enable you to express yourself, acquire a sense of mastery, and interact positively with others. Find a class through your local adult education service or community center.

12. Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically achieve, and then go for it! For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or cook for a small dinner party at your apartment or house.

13. Do some of the things that you have been putting off, such as clearing out the garden, washing the windows, or filing the paperwork.

14. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.

15. Get others involved: tell your friends and relatives what you are going through and enlist their advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems too, in which case you might be able to band up and form a support group.

16. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear. At the same time, try to enlarge your social circle by making an effort to meet people.

17. On the other hand, avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive. If assertiveness is a problem for you, ask a healthcare professional about assertiveness training.

Campus Resources

The Counseling Center 610 E John St Champaign, IL 61820 Tel: (217) 333-3704 http://www.counselingcenter.uiuc.edu/

McKinley Health Center 1109 S Lincoln Ave, Urbana, IL 61820 Tel: (217) 333-2701 http://www.mckinley.illinois.edu/

Wellness Center 201 E Peabody Drive, Champaign, IL 61820 Tel: (217) 265-9355 http://www.campusrec.illinois.edu/wellnesscenter/

Leadership Center 1401 W Green St #290, Urbana, IL 61801 Tel: (217) 333-0604 http://www.illinoisleadership.uiuc.edu/

Office of Inclusion & Intercultural Relations 120 Swanlund Administration Building - 601 E John Street Champaign, IL 61820

Tel: (217) 333-1300 http://www.oiir.illinois.edu

Office for Student Conflict Resolution 300 Turner Student Services BuildingTel: (217) 333-3680 http://www.conflictresolution.illinois.edu

Women’s Resources Center 703 S. Wright St., 2nd Floor, Champaign, IL 61820 Tel: (217) 333-3137 http://oiir.illinois.edu/womens-center

LGBT Resources Center 616 E Green Street, Ste. 212 (temporary location), Urbana, IL 61820 Tel: (217) 244-8863 http://oiir.illinois.edu/lgbt-resource-center

Asian American Cultural Center 1210 West Nevada Street, Urbana, IL 61801 Tel: (217) 333-9300 http://oiir.illinois.edu/aacc

Bruce D. Nesbitt African American Cultural Center 708 S Matthews St. Urbana, IL 61801 Tel: (217) 333-2092 http://go.illinois.edu/BNAACC

La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 West Nevada Street, Urbana, IL 61801 Tel: (217/) 244-4513 http://oiir.illinois.edu/la-casa-cultural-latina

Native American House 1206 West Nevada Street Urbana, IL 61801 Tel: (217) 265-0632 http://oiir.illinois.edu/native-american-house

References

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