Recovering a Vision for The Role of Families in Discipling Nations

Monday Church Project September 2007Scott Allen

Basic Assumptions

1. Families are the basic building blocks of any nation

2. Healthy families produce healthy nations (in every sphere)

3. Healthy families are the fruit of an intentional application of Biblical teaching on the purpose and design for marriage and family.

4. The church globally has largely lost this vision. As a consequence, we have unhealthy families and broken nations.

5. One of the most urgent needs of our time is to recover a Biblical vision for the family, and live it out.

Jonathan and Sarah Edwards’ Descendants

• One Vice President of the United States• Three U.S. Senators• Three mayors of large cities• Three state governors• Thirteen college presidents • 30 judges• 65 professors• 66 physicians • 100 lawyers• Over 100 pastors• Over 100 cross-cultural missionaries• Others were leaders in industry, commerce, banking

Table Exercise

Why Get Married?

• How does your society answer?

• How do you answer?

Worldview & Family

Worldview is…

The total set of assumptions, held consciously or unconsciously,

that shape ones view of reality, and establishes ones

Beliefs, Values,

Behaviors

Eyeglasses for the Mind

Our worldview doesn’t change the object of our vision, …it changes how we see it.

Understanding worldview is a bit like trying to see the lens of one's own eye.  We do not ordinarily see our own worldview,

but we see everything else by looking through it.  Put simply, our worldview is the window by which we view the world, and decide, often subconsciously, what is real and

important, or unreal and unimportant...

Our worldview governs our thinking even when – or especially when - we are unaware of it." 

-- Phillip Johnson (from the foreword to Nancy Pearcey's Total Truth)

Worldview and Culture

The Family

Economics

Environment

LawEducation

Business

The Arts

Politics

WorldvieWorldvieww

Stru

ctur

es

Lifestyles

Institu

tion

s

Lifestyles

Insti

tuti

on

s

Laws

Structures

Laws

Lies vs. Truth

[Satan] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in

him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

(Jn. 8:44)

[Jesus said] “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (Jn.

8:31)

Growing Healthy Families

Lies a culture holds to be true

Truth the culture embraces

Lies that Destroy Families

and Nations

Sexism

• The Lie: Men are superior to women!

• The Result: Husband’s authority is exercised as raw power. Women are held as property or slaves.

• This satanic lie is perhaps the single greatest cause of poverty in the world today.

Consequence: The crushing of women

The Crushing of Women• Domestic Violence – 25 to 50% of adult women

worldwide are victims of domestic violence.

• Sexual Violence – Worldwide, it is estimated that between one in five and one in seven women will be raped in their lifetime.

• Pornography – In America, the pornography industry has an annual revenue rate of approximately $12 billion.

• Sex Trafficking – Worldwide, approx. 2.5 million females per year are forced into sex slavery.

• Abortion – Globally, there are 46 million abortions per year (126,000 per day). The vast majority of these are sex-selected abortions of female infants.

Secularism

• The Lie: There is no God or spirit-realm, no ultimate purpose.

• Secularism asserts that public life is to be governed by laws that are not influenced by the Bible, religion, or any transcendent sacred beliefs.

• Secularism says: “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.” There is no ultimate purpose to life—or to marriage/family.

• Secularism sees the “family” as a human invention that can be redefined to suit modern sensibilities.

Consequence: The crushing of the family

The Crushing of the Family• Redefinition of marriage: Same-sex marriage movement.

• Rapid rise in rates of divorce.

• Rapid rise of cohabitation and decline in traditional marriages.

• Sexuality separated from marriage and reproduction – Sex becomes a recreational and spectator sport.

• Steep declines in rates of reproduction. Children are seen as net economic drain and thus a threat to personal comfort.

• Biblical roles of husband and wife are rejected leading to the masculinization of women and feminization of men.

• Rapid rise in out-of-wedlock births, abortions, and fatherless households.

The Church: Being Discipled by the Nation

• Rates of divorce, cohabitation, out-of-wedlock births, and abortion are the same within the evangelical church in the US as outside.

• Rates of fertility are nearly the same within the church as outside.

The Truth that Liberates

Recovering a Biblical Vision for Marriage

and Family

Marriage is Sacred

• It is God-created, God ordained and God-designed

• It is the first social institution created by God and the only one created prior to the Fall.

• We cannot re-make it without serious consequence!

Adam & Eve: The Paradigmatic Couple

• Intended to be the model/pattern for all marriages.

• Because God created Adam and Eve male and female, homosexuality is excluded.

• Because Adam could find no helper suitable for himself among the animals, bestiality is excluded.

• Because God created just one woman for Adam, the pattern of monogamy is clearly established.

The Pattern for Marriage…

…is found in the Triune God. Marriage/family is part of our human “imago Dei.”

Unity and diversity in marriage is rooted in the unity and diversity of the Godhead:

Unity• In the Godhead – One God, three co-equal persons living in

loving relationship.• In Marriage – Husband and wife are co-equal image-bearers of

God with equal value, worth and dignity.

Diversity• In the Godhead – Hierarchy and function. God the Father is

head, the Son carries out His commands (Jn. 14:31), and the Spirit glorifies the Father and Son.

• In Marriage – Hierarchy and function. Husband is the head and husband and wife have different yet complimentary roles.

The Roles of Husband and Wife (Gen. 2)

• Verse 7: The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

• Verse 8: Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.

• Verse 15: The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

• Verse 16-17: And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

• Verse 18: The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The Role of Husband and Wife (Gen. 2)

• Verse 19: Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

• Verse 20: So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

• Verse 21-23: So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

• Verse 24: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The Model for Husband/Wife Relationships

As we understand how God related to Israel in the Old Testament and Christ related to the Church in the New Testament, we discover THE model for Biblical husbands and wives.

“A husband must always remember that as a husband, he is a living picture of the Lord Jesus. This remembrance is his first duty in marriage.

Since, as a husband, a man is speaking constantly about the Lord’s relationship to His [Church], he

ought to speak truthfully.”

– Douglas Wilson

God’s Ultimate Purpose

“For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Glory of the LORD as the waters cover

the seas.”

- Habakkuk 2:14

God’s Strategy – Inside Out

Individual

Family

Church

Nation

Arts

Media

Commerce

Law

Governance

“For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Glory of the

LORD as the waters cover the

seas.”

- Habakkuk 2:14

The Purpose of the Family

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and

female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in

number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the

ground.”

Genesis 1:27-28

Table Exercise

Why Have Children?

• How does your society answer?

• How do you answer?

Purpose 1: Be Fruitful and Increase

Has not the LORD made [husband and wife] one? In flesh and spirit they

are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring.

- Malachi 2:15

Purpose 1: He is Seeking Godly Offspring

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. – Pr. 22:6

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. - Deut. 6:6,7

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Eph. 6:4

Arrows in the Hands of a Warrior

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

- Psalm 127:3-5

Every child is a promise –

With a name, a passion, a story

And a place in HIS story

Every child is unique. There are no ordinary children!

- Elizabeth Youmans

Purpose 2: Rule—Exercise Godly Dominion

… Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. - Gen. 1:28

The most basic level of dominion is self-government and family is God-ordained laboratory for training in self-government.

Godly Dominion

He who knows not how to rule a kingdom, that cannot manage a Province; nor can he wield a

Province, that cannot order a City; nor he order a city, that knows not how to regulate a Village; nor he a Village, that cannot guide his family; not can that man Govern well a family that knows not how

to govern himself.

- Hugo Grotius (1583-1645)

As the first and most basic social institution, the family is to function as

the microscopic Kingdom of God where the roles of the husband, wife,

child, parent, and grandparent are brought into alignment with God’s

revealed intentions.

This process begins as the husband and father, as head of the family,

declares along with Joshua, “but as for me and my household, we will

serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

The Microscopic Kingdom of God

Role of Husband: Specifics

• Protection of wife and children. Alertness to dangers and temptations.

• Initiative. Proactive. Sets the agenda, takes leadership action in relationship to wife and children. Is not passive!

• Vision. Clearly understand the biblical vision for family and teaches it to wife and children.

• Responsibility. As head, husband is ultimately accountable to God for his wife and children.

Role of Wife: Specifics

• Helper. “The man needs the help and the woman needs to help.” – Douglas Wilson

• Nurturer of Children. Thus, nurturer of nations!

• Educator. The husband, as head, is ultimately responsible, but he delegates to his wife the majority of the day-to-day teaching, particularly with younger children.

• Manager of the Household. Under the headship of the husband, the wife is vice-regent and manager of the home. (Prov. 31:27, Titus 2:5)

Application

The Monday Church

Application for Families• Study God’s Word. Aim to become an expert of what the Bible

teaches about marriage and family.

• Repent! Turn from Satanic lies and embrace the Truth about marriage and family.

• Pray! Pray for God’s grace to apply what you are learning.Form relationships with other like-minded Christians who can support you and hold you accountable.

• Have more kids! The Bible says they are a blessing, the world says they are an economic drain and a burden. What do you say?

• Train Up Your Children! Take seriously your responsibly to disciple your children in the Biblical worldview, their God-given design and self-government. Do an educational audit of who is training your kids and make adjustments. (Footings)

• Apply “Disciplines of Love” and “Seed Projects” as a family.

Application for Church Leaders• If necessary, REPENT!

• Impart VISION!

• TEACH the biblical pattern!

• MODEL the biblical pattern in your own family!

• HONOR the role of the husband/father as the head of the household. Empower them to lead.

• Check your programs.

• Focus on key teaching opportunities• Begin with husbands/fathers• Focus on teaching your youth• Pre-marital counseling

• Join and support local, regional, national efforts to combat divorce, cohabitation, same-sex marriage, violence against women and other lies.