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Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

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editorial

I recently came across an article on MSNBC that was titled: ‘Did Being Adopted Contribute to Steve Job’s Success?’ In this article, the author, Jeremy Greenberg comments, “I actually think that adopted kids like Mr Jobs might grow up to have an abundance of faith and confidence,

because they get to experience the remarkable love and generosity of their adoptive parents – people with the exceptional capacity to take any child as their own.” He concludes with the statement, “Who couldn’t conquer the world (or at least create the iPad) with that kind of foundation?”

Our cover story, ‘Opt to Adopt’, features adoptive parents, who in turn feel blessed for the child that has entered their lives in such a special way.

Today we have a lot of options and changes happening across school boards and curriculums. At the state level the Matriculation, Anglo Indian and State boards are all merging into one Samacheer Kalvi. In the CBSE (and soon in Samacheer Kalvi) there is a change in the evaluation process from the summative testing (tests and exams) to the formative testing of the Continuous Curriculum Evaluation (CCE). Also, today we have a choice of international boards such as the IGCSE and IB.

What does all this mean? How do I know what is best for my child? In our special story on, “The Curriculum Dilemma”, we try to answer some of these questions, so you the parent can make a more informed decision for your child. It is not only important to understand what each board has to offer, it is equally important to know and understand your child’s aptitude and learning style, so that you may select a school where the child is most comfortable learning.

Our Teen Circle introduces a topic that most parents are uncomfortable discussing with their children – puberty. In today’s world where information is freely accessible, it is important for the parent to openly discuss this issue with the child and clarify any misinformation the child may be exposed to.

We now have our magazine online for you to read. We encourage you to participate in our online discussions and to share your articles, recipes or pictures with other parents at www.parentcircle.in.

With all this discussion on the best curriculum for your child it is important to keep in mind the Chinese Proverb: “Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.”

Nalina Ramalakshmi

Parent Circle / November 20112

IN FOCUS

MINDSET Help Build your Child’s Self-esteemHelicopter Parenting

LEARNING Encouraging Public Speaking in Chidren Helping Children with Public Presentations

HEALTH CIRCLENutritional Deficiencies in Children

TEEN CIRCLE Talking to your Preteen about Puberty

DESTINATIONS God’s Eden: The Valley of Flowers

ROOTS Heritage Trips Made FunThe Revival of Traditional Games

LIGHTER VEINVoice of Experience

REGULARS

6

1020

1416

19

42

38

4648

56

ON THE COVER ADYANTH GANESH PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA

The Curriculum Dilemma

COVER STORY P.30

YOUR WORD

PARENT EXPRESS ‘We wanted to adopt’

TEEN EXPRESS Unconditional Love DISCUSSION POINT Pocket Money and your Child

4

8

9

55

FORUM

Opt to AdoptSPECIAL P.22

CHECK IT OUT Board Games of Yore PARENT CHEF 5 Healthy Soups

EVENTS Chennai this Month

50

52

54

CENTRESPREAD P.28

RESOURCES


Letters to the Editor

Please send in your letter with the subject line “Letters to the Editor”, before November 15, 2011, to [email protected] or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

your word

A close weaving of Tamil culture is maintained in all the articles, which is refreshing. The articles in the magazine ensure a feeling of walking in the morning grass still alive with dew drops. VENKATRAMAN, A CHENNAI PARENT My best wishes to Parent Circle on the launch of their website. I appreciate the authentic information on parenting and other child related information in your magazine. Wishing you growth and success. S JAYANTI, PSYCHOLOGIST, HYDERABAD

The magazine is well-balanced & the different sections take into account the many facets of parenting & child rearing. The magazine is also like an ‘advice tool’ which helps the parents in their parenting role. Especially in today’s world of ‘nuclear families’, where there is no elder in the house to advise or give tips on parenting, this kind of help is invaluable. Also for the young parents, the first timers, it is almost like a step by step guide on what to do and what not to do.

All in all, it is a complete magazine for all kinds of parents. It is a very valuable and a well-thought-of magazine! MAHIMA BHANUKUMAR, BANGALORE

It is a wonderful magazine for all parents in bringing up their children. The articles that I read here relate to my experiences in day to day life. I like the suggestions you give, as they are very helpful and practical. I would also like to make a suggestion. It would be great if you could also publish Parent Circle in Tamil. This way it would have a greater reach. It would be very useful to those parents who do not know English, but who could definitely benefit from the articles published in the magazine. In fact, I have been asked whether there is a Tamil edition of this magazine by many parents on several occasions. P WILLIAM CHARLES, CHENNAI

ALL RESOURCES LISTED IN THE WEBSITE CURRENTLY PERTAIN ONLY TO CHENNAI

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Kids taught to deal with differently-abled siblings

LUCKNOW: Siblings of differently-abled children had an opportunity to learn to deal with their brothers and sisters on September 11, 2011. In a sibling workshop organised by SPARC India, (School for Potential Advancement and Restoration of Confidence), boys and girls were sensitised about their responsibilities towards their challenged siblings.

The counsellor through a play, created an awareness on handling and cooperating with the differently-abled people. The siblings were taught to be polite and patient in dealing with them. There were various activities to motivate the children and to spread the message of love to their not so fortunate siblings.

Cops to counsel parents, school authorities if minors caught drivingNEW DELHI: The Delhi traffic police has adopted a four-pronged approach to desist minors from driving vehicles in the city. The police have decided to detain the vehicle, call the parents of the child for counselling and issue a fine of `1000 for allowing children to drive their vehicle. In addition, they have decided to counsel the school authorities on the measures to be taken if the students were found parking and driving vehicles right outside the school premises.

The traffic police are checking for violations after school hours when most of the children could be noticed driving outside their schools. Earlier, senior traffic cops had met the principals and teachers of 45 leading schools of Delhi that are part of the Road Safety Club. This club was formed with 25 schools last year before the Commonwealth Games.

Kids to learn fielding 'Jonty's Way'

MUMBAI: Mumbai based Omtex Sport Academy launched "Jonty's Way", a specially-designed programme to change the concept of fielding. Talking about the programme which was designed by Rhodes himself, the former South Africa cricketer said that India has talented fielders like Virat Kohli, Suresh Raina and Yuvraj Singh, but more were required to make a strong impact at the international level. Jonty's Way will provide professional training to cricket associations, schools, clubs and players of all age groups for periods ranging from three to fifteen days.

18 year old Arun Vajpai scales new heights

Arjun Vajpai, a student of Ryan International School created history on the morning of October 14, 2011. He not only became the youngest person in the world to have reached the summit of Mt. Manaslu (8,163 meters), the eighth highest peak in the world but also became the youngest person in the world to have climbed three mountains of more than 8000 meters height.

Arjun Vajpai was successful in this endeavour after negotiating with the ever-changing extreme weather conditions. He started his climb on 1st October 2011. There was a hitch in the beginning of the expedition where the weather played the spoilsport. But once that hurdle was cleared, there was no looking back.

The summits became steeper during the climb. Arjun had to cross tributaries along with the camping load and equipment. After reaching the peak the 18-year-old said, “this summit is such a small place that only one person can stand at a time. The wind was blowing at a high speed due to which it was very difficult to hold the tri-colour. I unfurled the flag of India and the flag of ESSAR foundation at the top…and what a moment it was…If I close my eyes now I can still feel the wind blowing on me on TOP OF THE WORLD!”

in focus


How are India’s children? India has ratified (signed) the

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. This means that India must respect the rights of the child and listen to what children have to say. Are the rights of the child respected in India? The first fact: Of the 1.2 billion population, more than 447 million are children, of which 127 million children are under the age of five. Name and nationality: From the day a child is born, he/she has the right to have a name and be registered as a citizen of this country. 27 million children are born every year in India. 6 out of 10 of them are never registered. There is no documented proof that they exist! The right to live: 1 out of 14 children in India (more than 1.8 million every year) dies before the age of 5, usually due to causes that could have been prevented. 25 million children are orphaned. Water, sanitation facilities: 9 out of 10 children in India have water from improved water sources. Only 3 out of 10 children can use adequate sanitation facilities.

A home, clothing, food and security: Every child has the right to a home, food, clothing, education, health care and security. More than 4 out of 10 children in India live in extreme poverty with less than $1.25 (`55) a day to live on. Protection against violence: Children have the right to be protected against all forms of violence, including neglect, maltreatment and abuse. No child can hurt or abuse another child. Indian schools have banned corporal punishment since July 2010. Hazardous child labour: The child has the right to be protected against both economic exploitation and work that is hazardous to his health or that which prevents him from going to school. All work is prohibited for children under 12 years. An estimated 30 million children in India are working in some way. School and education: The child has the right to go to school. Primary and secondary schools should be free for everyone. 8 out of 10 children in India go to school, but many of them leave school too early. THE CHILD’S VOICE MUST BE HEARD! The child has the right to say what he thinks about any issue that affects him/her. The adults should listen to the child’s opinion before they make decisions, which must always be in the child’s best interest! Source: http://worldschildrensprize.org/

Parent Circle’s event for parentsBe the support that your children need but let them make their own career choices - that was the underlying message given to the parents at the ‘Guiding your child into the future’ event held at the Bhavan’s Rajaji Vidyashram school by the Parent Circle Magazine and Ignite Minds, an educational sector institution, at Chennai on October 22.

Anita Sanyal, a career consultant spoke on the importance of face to face career counselling to understand the child’s aptitude and interest.

Sriram Naganathan, an educationist and the Managing Trustee of Ignite Minds, who gave the keynote speech, stressed on the important mix of interests, abilities and income potential for a bright and successful career.

Guest speaker, N Ilango, a visually-impaired person, who runs a skills training company said “My mother was simple and illiterate, but she ensured that I was able to take care of each day as it came, in a self-reliant way. This is the ultimate desire of every parent for his child, whatever the career. Sometimes education can be a stumbling block for parents who forget this goal and try to impose their own unfulfilled dreams on their children.”

The highlight of the event was the panel discussion and a question and answer session. The panelists were K Satyanarayan, co-founder of New Horizon Media (a publishing company); Poochi Venkat, a naturalist and photographer; V

Krishnan, Chief Gardener, Theosophical Society; and Navaneetha Rao, a cancer researcher from the US. Their success stemmed from following their passions despite the challenges and obstacles they faced in their career paths.

Arundhati Swamy, the President of Chennai Counsellor’s Foundation concluded the session by advising parents on the importance of informal career talks with the child starting at the 8th standard. “Our parents guided us to face an earlier environment, suitable for those times. We too, need to prepare our children appropriately for the changing dynamics of tomorrow’s world,” she said.

Panel discussion at the workshop


Our journey to bring Nidhi home began several years ago when we dreamt of starting a family through adoption.

From the year 2000, we became more and more oriented to this idea. The option though, of having a biological child had always been open to us. During the last ten years, we interacted closely with many adoptive families - parents and children. We strongly felt, beyond any doubt, that we should start our family through adoption. It just felt right!

We also felt that the total acceptance of a child not related through blood, could only accentuate the importance of the parent-child relationship; and that such a love would be truly pure and selfless. We met several other people who supported our dream, and there were some who expressed some concerns. Once we brought Nidhi home though, all the concerns and worries disappeared magically. Of course we expected that, but it was wonderful to see it happen.

We started the adoption process in October 2009 by visiting the Adoption Coordinating Agency (ACA) in Chennai. They explained the entire process and also helped us to think through some of the post-adoption issues that families may encounter. They also talked to us about

the necessity and importance of revealing the child’s adoptive status to him/her. We then had multiple discussions with our parents and siblings about our decision to adopt a child. It took us about a month to collect all the required documents and we submitted our application form.

One of the social workers from the ACA visited us at home and prepared our home study report. She told us that the ACA would inform us if they received any request for placing children from the state agencies. She also informed us that there were several parents waiting ahead of us and that it may take us up to a year to receive a referral to adopt an infant. She suggested that we contact various adoption agencies in Tamil Nadu and also those from other states (since we were willing to travel) to see if they had an infant that could be placed with us.

We began to call up agencies in Tamil Nadu and Karnataka and were disappointed to hear that the waiting time was about 2 years. One of the agencies we contacted in Bangalore asked us to get in touch with CSA (Catalyst for Social Action) in Pune. We did, and they put us in touch with an agency in rural Orissa that had a child-referral for us.

We went to see Nidhi in March 2010 when she was three months old, after a long journey by flight and car. We travelled

to Bhubaneswar with her to complete the medical tests suggested by our doctor in Chennai, since there were no hospitals nearby that would do the tests we required. The haemoglobin analysis indicated possible health problems which could not be confirmed without doing a DNA analysis, for which Bhubaneswar did not have any facilities. We were also uncomfortable with the attitude and opinion of the paediatrician in Bhubaneswar.

We came back to Chennai with her reports and a blood sample to get the DNA analysis done. When we received the report we were relieved and thrilled to see that it ruled out the possible health concerns indicated earlier. Nidhi was indeed meant to be with us! Euphoric, we went back to sign the foster care paperwork to bring her home in May 2010.

While Nidhi continued to grow swiftly, we continued to follow up with the agency and lawyer to fix a date for our court hearing. We went for our court hearing in Orissa in June 2011, got our court order in August 2011 through mail, and went back there in October 2011 to register the adoption deed. The legal paperwork is now complete and Nidhi has all the legal rights that our biological child would have had. The adoption agency in Orissa will now apply for her birth certificate and send it to us as soon as they receive it. We expect this to take another couple of months. So all in all, the entire adoption process from the beginning to the end has taken us about two years. Meanwhile Nidhi is growing up and will be 2 years old in December! Life has been complete, full of joy and challenges, with her.

ANITA AND SATISH ARE A YOUNG COUPLE

FROM CHENNAI WHO HAVE RECENTLY

ADOPTED A GIRL CHILD.

‘We wanted to

adopt’BY V SATISH AND ANITA

parent express

Write to us on parenting experiences in 600 words, with the subject line ‘Parent Express’ to [email protected] or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.


Unconditional

In life, we all have that someone. That someone who can make the world seem like zero gravity

exists. That someone who makes the sky bluer and makes the sun shine straight down your path. That someone who can always put a smile on your face, despite the stormy conditions you face. It can be anyone, your father, your mother, your best friend, your classmate or even your dog…but, there is always someone. To you, it seems that whatever that someone does is miraculous. Such people make the earth move slowly and give you a feeling that you have all the time in the world. They make it seem like you have no more tears left to cry ever again. That is what you love about them - the way they make you feel, how they take away every pain imaginable without even knowing that they do so.

As time passes, you grow more and more attached to them, become more and more dependent on them. You see that they are the ones who start showing you the beauty of life, what it is like to trust again and breathe freely, without having a care. They show you what it is like to laugh whole-heartedly and they give you unadulterated happiness. The world can never be lighter than when you are with them. You love the world the most when you are with them.

The more time you spend with them, the more you feel that they are a part of you. You do not know how to cope without them. You rely on them more and more and your need for them grows, as if they provide all the happiness…What happens when they are suddenly not there? Separation comes, it always

does, it is a part of life. Reality strikes. Hollow, traumatised and scared, you face reality without your supply of happiness. Everything seems cold, rigid and insecure. You can barely manage a smile. Laughing is unimaginable. Your heart keeps screaming for them, your mind flashes images of the times when you were together and pain consumes your being. Whatever should have barely scratched your self-esteem, now makes massive gashes. You are more alone than you ever have been. Your source is gone. Life is dark.

Want to know what could hurt more? If you find out that someone else is more important to them. That there is someone they care about more than you. Someone they would much rather be with, than you. Someone, who compared to you, is like the sun. They no longer think about you as someone special but now they think of you as someone long gone and of no use. You see them happy with their special someone and all you want to do is fade away. You try to scratch such images out of your brain, try to rip them out of your

BY AVANTIKA SIVARAMAN

heart. Try to not cry when you think about them at night. Try not to be sucked into self-doubt and jealousy and the torture of the thought that you are not good enough. You see yourself in a mirror and you practically smash the mirror to bits.

Nothing has ever been comparable to this kind of pain. It is sharp, crucial and undeniable. How could the person who provided all the happiness bring you the worst form of self-doubt? How could the person who made life so beautiful suddenly turn into a source of pain? How could the one person you need, not care about you?

Worst of all, how could you still love this person? How could you still see that face and still find the slightest sliver of peace?

The answer is: unconditional love. Beautiful and heart-wrenching. Filling and tearing. Powerful and exhausting. Truly unconditional.

AVANTIKA SIVARAMAN IS AN EIGHTH GRADER

STUDYING IN HEBRON SCHOOL, OOTY.

teenexpress


Some of them paused and punctuated their speeches with ‘ums’ and ‘uhs’ to fill the gaps. Agitation, sheer helplessness made some quit half-way.

What really tugged at my heartstrings was when some sought out their parents’ eyes in the audience or in the wings, with tears, silently beseeching for help. I noticed that some got worried at their parent’s reaction to their fumbling and some were just plain ashamed or embarrassed that they had let their parents down.

I consoled a crying child and then asked him why he was crying. He said, ‘My mother told me not to do so many things, but she did not tell me what I should do!’

Following this, I had yet another occasion during Navarathri to observe this phenomenon. It is also an occasion when children are urged to sing at the houses they visit. In one of the houses I sensed the same unease and nervousness prevailing in one of the children when she was asked to sing by her mother for the golu (dolls exhibition). The child started with hesitation and kept looking at her mother for direction and reinforcement. The mother kept a steady look at the child to ensure she started at the right pitch, maintained the raagam and the thalam and remembered the words. The look changed to a glare when the child mispronounced a word. The child’s song was barely a whisper when she finished. At one point the mother was visibly irritated that her daughter had not lived up to her usual standard of singing. The child hung her head in shame.

THE PARENT’S RESPONSIBILITY What makes one child so confident and another so self-conscious that it interferes with his natural propensity for expression? What role do parents play in this? As parents, are we living our dreams through our children? Do we ‘accept’ our

BY MEERA SHIVASHANKAR

Recently I was asked to judge an Interschool Literary event for primary and middle school

children. There were about 15 to 20 schools participating and at least 50 children ranging between the ages of 6 and 14 were bursting with enthusiasm to showcase their talent for the oratorical and elocution competitions. The younger children had memorized their respective poems or speeches and the older children had

small cards with pertinent points to help them jumpstart their talks.

I looked around and observed the scene before the start of the event. Some were practicing

aloud furiously, walking up and down. I smiled when I saw some of them hit their foreheads

when they forgot a point or made a mistake. The younger ones were anxiously nodding, looking up solemnly at their parents as their attires were being adjusted even as they were being given last minute tips about going on stage

and speaking.

While the actual competition itself left me in awe of the children and their

aptitude, I could not help but be drawn to a handful of those children who forgot all that they had prepared, who started to stutter and stammer. Then there were those who fidgeted or fumbled, intimidated by the unrelenting crowd.

We should make the

child realise that he

should focus more on

enjoying the opportunity

of speaking and having

fun rather than worry

about the result!

learning


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iron

BENEFITS Iron is essential for the child’s growth and development. It moves oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body and helps the muscles to use and store oxygen.

CHILDREN AT RISK OF FACING IRON DEFICIENCY ARE: 1. Babies born prematurely or having low birth weight 2. Babies on cow’s milk before the age of 1 3. Breast-fed babies who are not given iron after six months 4. Babies on formula which is not fortified with Iron 5. Children with chronic infections or restricted diets 6. Children who drink more than 700 ml of cow’s, soy or goat milk everyday 7. Adolescent girls who lose Iron during menstruation

SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY 1. Fatigue or weakness 2. Pale skin 3. Poor appetite 4. Shortness of breath 5. Irritability

Untreated Iron deficiency in children can cause physical and mental delays in areas such as walking or talking.

PREVENTION 1. Breast feed or give iron-fortified formula to infants 2. Encourage a balanced diet 3. Enhance absorption with Vitamin C 4. Give iron supplements

FOOD SOURCES Lean red meat, seafoods, all kinds of beans, greens, tofu, broccoli, drumsticks, brussel sprouts, nuts and dried fruits, egg yolk.

protein BENEFITS An important component of every cell in the body, protein is needed to build strong structures in the body (bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments), to rebuild body tissues and to produce enzymes.

Protein Energy Malnutrition (P.E.M) It is a manifestation of chronic under-nutrition, consuming food with insufficient protein energy or both. Both Marasmus and Kwashiorkor come under the P.E.M. category.

CAUSES FOR KWASHIORKOR 1. Early weaning and feeding of starch rich cereals. 2. A diet high in starch and low in proteins.

SYMPTOMS 1. Fluid collection in the body. 2. Thin extremities 3. Liver enlargement In Marasmus, the body utilizes its own tissue for energy and appears skeleton like. Children also have: 1. Poor appetite 2. Sparse hair 3. Anxious look

TREATMENT 1. Provide adequate nutrition 2. I.V fluids if necessary 3. Treat underlying infections

Breast-feeding a baby up to six months is the best way to prevent childhood malnutrition.

FOOD SOURCES Dairy and egg products, meat, fish, grains, nuts, beans

4. Skin changes 5. Brittle hair- flag sign 6. Constipation

6. Inflammation of the tongue 7. Susceptibility to infections 8. Irregular heart beat 9. Behavioural problems 10. Unusual craving for other non- nutritive substances like sand.

Protein and mineral deficiencies in children

calciumBENEFITS 1. One of the important macro minerals in the body. 2. Helps to build strong bones. 3. It is involved in Neuromuscular, enzymatic, hormonal, and other metabolic activities. 4. Used in blood clotting, muscle contraction and maintenance of cell membranes Note 1. Vitamin D or exposure to sunlight increases its absorption. 2. Calcium decreases with ageing. 3. 99% is stored in bones and teeth. 4. It is not manufactured by body. Hence, supplementation is a must.

SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY 1. Bowlegs/ Pigeon breast/

Knock-knees in children 2. Cramps in legs 3. Delays in motor milestones 4. Heart becomes irregular 5. Weakness of bones 6. Poor sleep disorder

Long term deficiency leads to osteoporosis. Though osteoporosis is the disease of the elderly, today’s young adults who do not expose themselves to sunlight and work long hours in AC rooms also suffer this. Excess of calcium leads to constipation and loss of appetite.

FOOD SOURCES Dairy products - milk, cheese, yoghurt, salmon fish, green-leafy-vegetables such as broccoli, spinach, calcium fortified foods, ice creams.

BY DR SANTHA NARAYANAN

In the last issue we had discussed Vitamin and Iodine deficiencies in

children; we are concluding now with a few more nutritional deficiencies.

DR SANTHA NARAYANAN IS A PRACTISING PAEDIATRICIAN FROM CHENNAI.

4. Dry skin 5. Low body temperature

health circle


A re you watching over what your child is doing, and not

doing, every day? Do you plan and schedule most of your child’s activities? Do you actually do and not merely help with the homework that your child is supposed to do? If your child is at home and if you are away, do you call her (or someone who is at home) from your cell phone every now and then to check what she is up to?

If your answer is ‘yes’ to these questions, and if you are wondering what could be wrong with your actions, watch out, you are in a psychological danger zone - you could be a ‘Helicopter Parent’, causing more harm than good to your child!

Foster W Cline, MD and Jim Fay coined the term ‘Helicopter Parent’ while discussing ineffective parenting styles in their book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. Helicopter Parenting may appear to arise out of love and affection for the child, but is actually rooted in a perceived insecurity about the child’s future.

Such a parent will not accept the child’s failure in anything and hence, will not let the child learn from his or her own mistakes. Like helicopters, such parents hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.

WHAT HELICOPTER PARENTING DOES TO YOUR CHILD You may have the best of intentions, but overprotection has serious long-term consequences. Experts say that children need to learn to cope with failures to be effective in life. Sadly, this is out of the question for a Helicopter Parent.

WHAT IT DOES TO YOU Being an over-involved parent will eventually drive you nuts. Studies have shown that Helicopter Parents reported more sadness, negative beliefs about themselves, and less joy and contentment, irrespective of whether their children were ‘succeeding’ or ‘failing’.

BY SRIRAM NAGANATHAN

Helicopter Parenting

Consider yourself a Helicopter Parent if you:

p Feel ashamed when your child fails, or fails to meet expectations, either yours or others.

p Fight your child's battles for her, such as protesting an unfair grade or score in a test.

p Take over your child's projects and homework.

p Are preoccupied with the details of your child's activities, practices, schedules and performances and only talk about these issues with your spouse.

Being an

over-involved

parent will

eventually

drive you

nuts.

mindset


BY RANGASHREE SRINIVAS

A dopting a child is no more or no less than an alternate way to parenting. As a part of an important nodal body, the Adoptions Coordination Agency, Tamil Nadu, I come across varied perceptions to the idea of adoption. I am constantly in touch with scores of parents waiting in the wings to bring a child into their homes, whom they can call their own.

It is said that a biological child is born from your womb, but an adopted child is born from your heart. The bond between the adoptive parent and adopted child is very, very special. It cannot be expressed in words, but here is an attempt to illustrate

this through the stories of some adoptive families.

BOND OF LOVE G Nageswaran and R Revathi are the parents of a lively little six-year-old girl. Srividhya was adopted when she was just 72 days old. When Revathi had some trouble with her pregnancy leading to complications, the couple decided to adopt a child. “What began as a selfish thought, transformed into a need to do something purposeful with our lives,” says Nageswaran. “When Srividhya came into our lives, our family dynamics was transformed into something magical. We gave up minor squabbling and strove to make our home a haven of peace for our child. Initially my family wanted us to adopt from within the family, but we went

ahead with an unrelated adoption of a child in need. Today she is a favourite with everybody.

Srividhya already knows and has accepted her adoptive status. We are Sai Baba devotees and have told her that she is a gift from God. We have exposed her to people who are economically less fortunate and have explained to her that

Srividhya with her parents

special

Our bundle of joy is two and a half years

old. He knows to speak the words most

important to him, ‘No’, ‘I want’, ‘give it’ and

uses them with intense emotion. He’s probably

the youngest user of the iPod and an unconventional

listener, because he enjoys the most complex

Carnatic compositions. He also insists that capsicum

is only ‘Casasum.’

PRADEEP CHAKRAVARTHY, FATHER

My son Rohan is now five years old. He is

intelligent and shrewd but at the same time, he

is very mischievous. In spite of this, he is his

teacher’s pet and his mother’s darling. He

is learning yoga for the past two years

and he is really good at it. I am very

proud of him.

RAHUL SURESH, FATHER

Rohan KaushikArun Pandian

ShricharanShricharan is a very special child

for us! Yes, he is a leap year baby

born in 2008! He is three and a half

years now and is caring, confident,

self-aware and respectful of those

around him. At this age he does

all the work (like eating, writing

homework etc.) by himself. I am

glad that I have a son like him. JAYASHREE SURESH,

MOTHER

Arun Pandian is a 4th standard student

studying in the Avvai Home School in Adyar.

He is a bright boy with a big smile, very

enthusiastic about learning. When he is not

playing or taking care of his younger siblings,

he can be seen drawing and colouring.

NALINA RAMALAKSHMI, NEIGHBOUR

We are thankful for our

November 14 is Children’s Day!

Raghavan

centrespread

Vinisha KathiravanMy daughter Vinisha, a class IX student, is a

child prodigy, who has performed many solo

classical dances. She has won many

trophies and performed in various

events of significance including

Perur Natyanjali Festival -

Coimbatore and Dance Festival

at Mamallapuram. She was also

conferred the Guru Pandanallur

T S Shanmugasundaram

Pillai Award by music

exponent,

Dr M Balamuralikrishna.

I am very happy and

proud of her.

JAYASUDHA KATHIRAVAN, MOTHER

P Dharini C S DhruvaMy student, P Dharini, studying in 9th

standard, is multi-talented. She learnt to

make artificial jewellry when she was in

the 6th standard and has also learnt

tailoring and folk dance. Her aim is

to become an IAS officer. VATHSALA PARTHASARATHY, TEACHER

Sixteen year old Dhruva

epitomises truth and

honesty. His journey from

childhood to adolescence,

his innocent explorations

of the environment

around him and his unique

perception of people and

situations have taught us

lessons in humility and

that life is precious.

LAKSHMI SATISH, MOTHER

I am the blessed father of Arvind, 13 years. Through his

site, which I have created for him, you will see his love for

art. He has over 300 creations published in

the site. I am really proud of my son. R SRINIVASAN, FATHER

Arvind Srinivasan

Five-year-old Sanjana loves to be with

children and enjoys outdoor games.

Fond of dancing, she also loves doing

gymnastics on the swing. When asked to

paint, she gets very enthused.

SOUMYA VINOD, MOTHER

Sanjana Vinod


CBSE In 1965, the Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) was reorganized from the existing Board of Rajputana at Ajmer, which was prevailing in five states. The board was given an all-India character under the chairmanship of Zakir Hussain before he became President.

The CBSE curriculum was adopted by the Kendriya Vidyalaya schools – the schools attended by the children of people serving in the armed forces and the government. At that time, the CBSE was called Higher Secondary. People liked it because there was no requirement of a pre-university course (PUC) after this, which amounted to a one year ‘saving’ in education. Later after the 10 plus 2 was introduced, this advantage was lost.

Owing to the huge popularity of the CBSE and the inability of Kendriya Vidyalayas to expand, private schools were allowed to get affiliated to this Board. Until 1975, all the CBSE schools were following their own curriculum when Dr K Venkatasubramanian, a renowned economist and eminent educationist introduced the Plus 2, standardising the

Board level exams. In 1985, in Chennai alone, there were around 237 schools, of which 85 were affiliated to this system.

The ICSE The Indian Certificate of Secondary Education ( ICSE) is a Christian Minority board, that has been given the status of a national board. Handed down from the British, It is relatively less popular in the country. In terms of syllabus standards, it is close to the CBSE.

Other Boards Across the country there are totally 32 boards, excluding the two national boards CBSE and ICSE. Most of the others follow state patterns like the Manipuri pattern, Punjab pattern, West Bengal pattern, Tamil Nadu pattern. Some like the Anglo Indian Board, the Madarasa Board or the Oriental Schools have community or religious undertones. The 32 boards, instead of trying to complement each other to promote value-based

BY V VENKATACHALAM

cover story

God’s EdenThe Valley of Flowers

BY ARPAN KANTHAL

It all started with a description of ‘Phoolon Ki Ghaati’ to a close friend of mine by her driver on her way to Badrinath. This

information, duly passed on to me, kindled my interest for this mystical destination. He told her about a valley, nestled amidst the majestic Himalayan peaks of Nanda Devi, Rathaban and Nilagiri, a valley covered with flowers of all imaginable shapes, sizes, shades and scents, a valley so beautiful that it is considered an abode of the fairies by the locals.

After a month of planning, preparation and coaxing of my manager to grant me leave, I finally managed to book tickets to Delhi. I could barely wait, it was just a matter of time before I could see the place rumoured to be ‘God’s Eden’.

The Valley of Flowers is a part of the Nanda Devi Biosphere Reserve, in the Chamoli District in Uttarakhand. The final lap of the journey involves trekking from Govindghat. The route-map to Govindghat by road is given below:

Haridwar 25km 4 Hrishikesh 70km 4

DevPrayag 31km 4 Srinagar 34km 4 Rudraprayag 23km 4

Karnaprayag 30km 4 Nandaprayag 11km 4 Chamoli 58km 4 Joshimath 21km 4 Govindghat.

PLANNING TIP: When you plan, do keep two buffer days to handle unpredictable contingencies like landslides/cloudbursts, which are very common in Garhwal region. Remember that night travel is not allowed in the mountains, so break up your journey accordingly.

THE PURSUITI wasted no time upon reaching Delhi, as every minute saved, releases more time for the trek. But, do keep in mind that it is the journey that makes the destination more alluring, so do not rush through it. From Delhi I caught a bus to Haridwar at around 3 p.m (You get buses to Haridwar from ISBT Anand Vihar every half an hour. Please avoid private buses as they always put money over the safety and comfort of passengers.) I reached Haridwar by 8.30 p.m. You get numerous shared taxis, buses, autos going towards Rishikesh round the clock. I got down at the Rishikesh Bus Stand at 9.15 p.m where the first bus to Joshimath was to leave at 3.30 a.m the next morning. A casual chat with a local tea vendor opened up another

destinations


Sleepless nights, temper tantrums and force-feeding spinach pales in comparison to the challenge of

talking to your child about puberty. This topic leaves most parents feeling awkward and inadequate.

Though it is a trying time for both parents and children, it can be a positive and enriching experience for both, if there is an open communication. A lack of communication between the parent and the child, particularly when the child is groping for support and security, can lead to anger, frustration, and a lack of self-esteem in the child.

Each family and perhaps even each parent may have a different take on how to approach puberty and its changes. It is important for parents to agree on a consistent approach to provide stability for the child during this period of change. They must make an effort to have an open dialogue on the topic, despite taboos and societal pressures. The dialogue must be an ongoing one, so that the child and the parents can work through the different issues that come up, as the child goes through varying stages of puberty and maturity.

WHEN TO START Today’s children are exposed to abundant information about sex and relationships through the media. Sometimes they think they know all about puberty and the associated changes! It is important for parents to be aware that the information they receive is not always reliable.

Beginning the dialogue before the onset of puberty, prepares a child to face the challenges of an awkward few years. Girls go through puberty between the ages of 9 and 13 while boys experience it from the ages of 11 to 16. An ideal time to start the conversation is around 9 years for the girls and 10 years for the boys.

Talking To Your Preteen AboutPuberty

BY DR LAKSHMI KRISHNAN

teen circle


Can you take us to a temple in Madras?”, asked Sanjay. I said ‘Sure’, but with some

hesitation. Sanjay is a successful leader who has worked in the IT field and is now doing his own consulting for organizations. I had never associated him as

being historically-inclined. The three children

- Aila, Ayaan and nephew Saket - were all brought

up in the US, Bangalore and Delhi - they were city-bred, ensconced in a liberal environment and were not exactly frequent visitors to temples. They were probably doing their first trip to Chennai. To tip the balance were Sanjay’s parents, also from the North. A very different group of people compared to what I was used to.

I was not sure about their interest in the history and the mythology that surrounded temples in Tamil Nadu. Still, I decided that it would be a great opportunity to test my own hypothesis that there is much more to ancient Indian temples than just religion; and that history does not have to be a jumble of dates and kings, but could be contextualized and made meaningful for the young generation.

The Parthasarathy temple in Triplicane was our destination. As we all got

into the vehicle, I thought it was important to get a sense of

what the children liked and more importantly, what they

did not. “What bores you about temples?” I asked and thankfully (predictably) the answers were quick

and candid. The crowds, the dirt, the noise, the ‘why

should I go?’ were all negatives and I heartily agreed and congratulated myself for having chosen a weekday morning. What do we like about temple visits? It was the food!

Parthasarathy temple has a lovely pillared porch and we spent a few minutes there,

BY PRADEEP CHAKRAVARTHY

roots


Even today, when our grandparents talk to us about their more youthful days, the joint family system and the rituals they followed, we enjoy the

conversation. An interesting conversation would perhaps centre around how they spent their free time in those days when there was no entertainment.

There were no video games or television. There was no Cricket, but Gilli Danda and there was no Ludo, but Dayakattam. These are games that teach us something about our culture and traditions, and sharpen our observation skills.

When we visit temples, how many of us notice these games etched on the temple walls?

“I had been to a temple in Belur for our research. We discovered a stone block on the inside of the well which had the game of Aadu Puli Attam etched on it! The workers must have played the game on it and used the stone later for the well,” says Raghu Dharmendra from Mysore, who has been researching traditional games for over a decade. Many games have been found scratched/etched on the ceiling, and

terraces of temple gopurams, walls, pillars and even floors!

Not just in Karnataka, but the well-known Kapaleeshwar temple in Chennai has such evidence of people amusing themselves in its precincts. “Dayakattam, Dahdi, Ashta Chemma and many more games can be found in just this one temple, though others like the Marundeeshwarar Temple and Sri Dhenupureeswarar Temple also have such ‘exhibits’,” says Vinitha Siddharth, who runs Kreeda. Kreeda is an organization in Chennai, which is working towards popularizing traditional games among students and corporates.

Some of the games have also spread to other countries. “In those days, considerable exchange happened through trading routes. People used to travel for years together. They lived and even married while travelling. That is how people from other countries started playing these games and have adapted some of them into their own culture,” explains Vinitha.

It is difficult to date the origin of these games, many of which were devised by combining the elements of chance and

strategy. Dayakattam for instance, has been in existence from the days of the Mahabharata, when the Pandavas lost their kingdom and their wife Draupadi to the Kauravas; King Nala too lost his kingdom similarly, to a cousin.

Ever heard of the name Parampada Sopanam? This is the traditional version of ‘Snakes and Ladders’, played by the kings in the olden days. Parampada Sopanam means ‘Steps to the Highest Place’. “It was believed to be symbolic of a man's attempt to reach God,” says Kamala Gopalan, a traditional games expert. “There are little known games like Pandi (hopscotch) we used to love playing. Another game I fondly remember is the Puliamkottai Aattam where we would blow a group of tamarind seeds in such a way that one seed would not touch the other,” she adds.

The Revival of Traditional Games

BY SHASHWATHI SANDEEP

Childspeak I have been playing traditional

games since I was five years old, with my mother and grandmother. My favourite one, is the shell sandal game. In this, you tie two dry coconut shells together with a rope, place your feet on them and try to walk. It is real fun. SHREYA

THOMAS, 10 YEARS OLD.

TRADITIONAL GAMES still flourish in the temples of India

roots


checkit out

PALLANGUZHI

This game was born in the villages of Tamil Nadu where it was a favourite pastime for the bored housewives. Two players are needed.

Boards, made out of wood, contain 14 cups and each player gets seven cups. Women used either Cowries (Sea Shells) or tamarind seeds, six of which were placed in each hole. The player who starts first, picks up the seeds from any one of the holes on her side and proceeds in a clockwise direction, placing one seed in each hole. When she drops her last seed, she picks up the seeds from the next hole and continues in the same way. This goes on till the last seed falls into a hole with an empty hole next to it. The seeds in the hole adjacent to the empty hole belong to her. The next player continues play in the same way. The game ends when a player has no more seeds left on her side to play with, on her turn.

The game increases the motor skills of the players and also their mathematical ability.

Kreeda, Chennai `760

DAAYAM (Ashta Chemma in Telegu, Chowkabara in Kannada)

The object of the game is to move all your pawns from the starting point to the centre

‘home’. But watch out as your opponent can send your pawn back to start by landing on the same space. Earlier, either a 5x5 grid or 7x7 grid was drawn on the floor with a chalk. Each player takes turns by throwing 6 cowrie shells (sea shells). A pawn can be moved onto the board only by getting the number 1 (Daayam). Dice can be used instead of cowries.

This is a game of both luck and strategy that increases critical thinking and mathematical skills. In the past, children and grandparents spent quality time and bonded together playing this game.

Kreeda, Chennai `350 Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `550

Traditional games are a way of learning about the past and they also enhance the overall development of the people who play them. These

games, though almost forgotten, are still available in some places. Here is a brief on some of these games

and where these are available…

AADU PULI AATAM

This game requires two players. A rectangle passes under a triangle, and there are intersecting points. There are three tigers and 15 goats. “The three tigers were represented by bigger stones and the 15 goats by smaller ones. The tigers are initially placed on the apex and in the 2 inner places near the apex, while the goats appear one by one on the board at the intersecting points,” explained Kamala Gopalan, a traditional games expert. Both players alternate in turns.

A tiger can capture a goat by jumping over it to an adjacent free position whereas the goats cannot move until all of them are on the board. The goats have to be placed in such a way that they immobilize the movement of the tigers. The tiger wins if it captures at least five goats and the goats win if they are successful in blocking the tigers’ movement.

This game is one of strategy and quick thinking.

Available at Kreeda, Chennai `250 Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `695

Board Games of Yore


PARAMPADA SOPANAM

The ladders represented the virtues and the snakes represented the vices. If any player reached the highest point in the game, it was believed that it assured a place for him in heaven.

Kreeda, Chennai `760 Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `625

CHATURVIMSHATHI KOSHTAKAAn old Sanskrit book written in Sanskrit by Harikrishna, son of Venkatram, is the inspiration for this simple strategy game, developed and promoted by Krishnaraja Wodeyar of Mysore in the nineteenth century.

Chathurvimshathi Koshtaka simply means 24 boxes or squares in Sanskrit. This is a battlefield game where two players with eight coins each, literally battle it out to gain control of enemy territory. The coins can move only in specific directions.


VIMANAM

This is a game played by two players. Each player gets 6 coins each of the same colour and starts from a point called ‘Home’. There are darker squares and lighter squares. The game board is in the form of an aero plane and that is why the game is named the Vimanam. Both the players throw the cowrie shells and move forward in different directions. If one player lands on the same square as the other player, then the latter has to take the pawn back ‘home’ and start the game again. But, if the pawn is in a darker square, the other pawn cannot be cut.

Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `1075

FOUR-HANDED CHADURANGA

The four-handed Chaduranga is what is called Chess in the present days. Except that there are four players in this game instead of two players. This game also involves the use of dice. Each player gets an opponent where player 1 would play with player 3 and player 2 would play with player 4. Each player gets eight chessmen in the form of a Raja, an Elephant, a Horse, a Ship and a Pawn. The throw of the dice decides which coin has to be moved. The team that captures both the opponent Rajas wins the game.

Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `2850

DAHDI (Navakankari in Sanskrit, Saalu Mane Aata in Kannada)

Two players are given 9 coins each. Players have to collect as many points as possible by lining up 3 coins in a row. Although the game is similar to the game of noughts and crosses, it is far more complex as coins can be moved and the opponent’s coins can be removed.


DAYAKATTAM (Pagade, Chaupad)

Dayakattam is an Indian dice game played by two or four people. Players

have six coins each. The ‘dayam’ or ‘1’ is needed for the coin to start moving forward. Players get another chance to roll the dice if they get ‘1’, ‘5’, ‘6’ or ‘12’ and they can move different coins during such sequential throws. Coins can cut opposing coins by landing on the same square, unless it is in a safe zone.

Another variant of this game requires 8 coins for each player. The coins move forward in pairs only upon and ‘even’ number throw of the dice. The coins are moved forward by half the number indicated by the dice throw.


Creamy Potato Soup (SERVES 4)

INGREDIENTS: 2 medium sized potatoes 1 medium onion 1 tbsp butter 1 cup milk 2 cups water Mixed Italian herbs for seasoning

METHOD: Peel and dice the potatoes and onion. Heat the butter in a pan. Add the potatoes and onion and fry for a few minutes. Add about 2 cups of water and bring it to a boil. Let it simmer till the potatoes are cooked.

Turn off the heat and let it cool. Once it reaches room temperature, blend it into a smooth puree.

Put it back on the stove and add 1 cup of milk, or more, to bring it to the desired consistency. You can even use water instead. Season with salt and some mixed Italian herbs and let it simmer for a few minutes. Serve with some extra butter and pepper (optional).

Peas and Spinach Soup (SERVES 4)

INGREDIENTS: 3 cups of spinach 1 cup of peas 1 clove of garlic 2 slices of white or brown bread

METHOD: Clean the spinach well and place it in a vessel with ½ cup of water. Add the green peas and garlic to it. Bring it to a boil and simmer till the spinach changes colour. Do not overcook it as the soup will lose it’s bright green colour. Tear the bread into small pieces and add it to the spinach-peas mixture. Let it cool down for a few minutes and blend it into a smooth paste. Add enough water to bring it to the desired consistency and simmer the soup for 5 minutes. Season with salt and serve warm.

Gazpacho (SERVES 4)

INGREDIENTS: 3-4 ripe tomatoes 1 small cucumber ½ small onion 1 or 2 cloves of garlic Salt Sugar 1 tbsp olive oil Coriander to garnish METHOD: Peel and chop all the ingredients and put them in a blender! Garlic and onion give it a very pungent taste as they are raw, so don’t add too much. Serve chilled with finely chopped coriander as garnish. Alternatively you can also garnish it with some finely chopped tomatoes or cucumber.

CHINMAYIE BHAT

Cold soups are great for a summer afternoon. They are filling, cooling and delicious.

Potato soup takes only minutes to make and is hearty and

comforting!

CHINMAYIE BHAT IS A FOOD BLOGGER & A GRAPHIC

DESIGNER FROM BANGALORE. SHE BLOGS AT

LOVEFOODEAT.COM

Peas and spinach are just boiled for a few minutes which

helps retain most of the nutrients.

parent chef

Sweet Pumpkin and Rice Soup

(SERVES 4)

INGREDIENTS: 2 cups of diced sweet pumpkin

1 cup diced onion 3-4 cloves of garlic

¼ cup lightly torn sage (or any other fresh herb)

2 tbsp of olive oil (or any other oil of your choice)

¼ cup cooked rice (red or white)

2 cups water Salt for seasoning

METHOD: Heat olive oil in a pan. Add the garlic and onion and sauté for 5 minutes. Now add the diced sweet pumpkin

with the skin and the sage leaves. Fry for a couple of

minutes and pour 2 cups of water. Cover and cook till the

pumpkin is soft. Turn off the heat and blend it into a smooth

puree. Put the soup back on stove and bring it to a boil. Add

the cooked rice and season it with salt. Sprinkle some red

chilli flakes for some heat. Serve hot with some fresh

bread on the side.

Beetroot and Yoghurt Soup

(SERVES 4)

INGREDIENTS: 2 cups beetroot

1 cup + 2 tbsp yoghurt

METHOD: Peel and cut the beetroot into cubes. Place it in a pressure cooker with ½ cup water and cook till you get one or two whistles. Do not overcook. Beet should

still have its taste, shape and colour intact. Blend it

into a smooth paste. Place it in a heavy bottomed vessel

and bring it to a boil and then reduce the heat. Beat

the yoghurt well to make it smooth with no lumps.

Slowly add it to the beetroot puree stirring continuously.

Add more water if you do not want the soup to be too

thick. Season with salt.

Serve with some extra yoghurt on top to create a

nice white swirl!

Healthy Cheese Bread Stick (MAKES 10 TO 12 STICKS)

INGREDIENTS: 1 cup whole wheat flour

1 tsp salt 1 tsp dried thyme 2 tbsp olive oil

¼ cup grated cheddar cheese ¼ or more yoghurt

METHOD: Combine flour,

salt and dry thyme and mix well. Add the olive oil and

mix with your finger tips till the flour resembles coarse

bread crumbs. Mix in the cheese and stir well. Now add

enough yoghurt to make a stiff dough. Knead well, wrap in a silver

foil or cling film and refrigerate for at least an hour. Roll it into thin bread sticks of not more than ½ cm thickness

and bake at 120 degree C for 10 minutes or until it turns golden brown. Let it cool completely as it will continue to harden.

Serve with soup or as a snack!

Sweet pumpkin is a great vegetable for soups as it gets creamy

when cooked and pureed, and it is sweet to taste.

Add a fresh/dry red chilli or some cumin to give it an Indian touch.

Replace the thyme with cumin, red chilli flakes, asafoetida or any other

favourite spice to make it more Indian!



Nov 12 to 13 8th TN State level Chess Tournament Bhavan’s Rajaji Vidyashram, Kilpauk Garden Road, Kilpauk Tournament for children of all ages; organised by age groups. Time: 9:00 am (94440 44576)

Nov 13 Children’s Workshop Indra Nagar Fun in the garden through games, activities and art by Nizhal. Time: 9:30 am – 11:30 am Age group: 6-12 years (90030 11372)

November All Sundays Chess Workshop, Smart@Art and Music and DancerciseHansel & Gretel, 11, Jagadambal Street, T.Nagar Learn Chess from Grand Master Arthie Ramaswamy, Coach for the World Youth Chess Championship. Also learn Art and Dance. Time: Chess - 4:00 pm – 6:00 pm Art - 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm Dance - 10:30 am - 12 pm (044 28152549 / 98404 31549) Age Group: 4-8 years

Nov 5 & 19 Photography by Konica Konica Colour Lab, No. 24 & 25, Siva Ganga Road, Off Sterling Road, Nungambakkam Konica Colour Lab and Studio in association

with Dhams Photography is conducting a one-day photography workshop for children of 10 years and above. Time: 9:30 am (99400 78820)

Nov 6 Tree Walk Jeeva Park, G.N. Chetty Road, T Nagar Tree walk organized by Nizhal is to promote tree culture in urban areas, to create awareness of the role of trees, planting the right kind of trees and caring for them. Time: 7.30 am to 8.30 am (90030 11372)

Nov 11 & 19 Pot Painting and Cookery Workshop Kartwheel, 21/1, Lady Madhavan Road, Mahalingapuram On Nov 11, Kartwheel is hosting a Pot Painting workshop for children of the age group 4 to 12 years. On Nov 19, a cookery workshop will be conducted for both adults and children. Time: 4 pm to 6 pm (Kousalya Ganesh - 80150 15074)

Nov 12 Children’s Day Celebrations by Little Angels Playschool German Hall, Prakasam Street, T Nagar The finals of the competition will be held for various activities like drawing and singing. Time: 9:30 am to 1:00 pm (9884390540/ 044 28341368/ 28342236) Age Group: 3 to 15 years

Nov 12 Eureka Run for Children Marina Beach It is a 5 km run starting from the Gandhi Statue at Marina Beach. This run is to support the cause of quality education. Time: 6:30 am (Selva - 97909 51652) Nov 12 Bring and Buy Sale Vanilla Place, No 89, Bishop Garden, Greenways Road, R.A. Puram A sale which allows the parents and children to set up stalls where they can buy, sell or exchange products with other stalls. This is to understand the value of money and importance of recycling. (044 42266660)

Nov 14 Children’s Day Celebration Bamboola Play School, No.73 (Old No.26), Venkatakrishna Rd, Raja Annamalaipuram Make your own sandwiches/juice/decorate your own cookie/fruit salad and enjoy a picnic with Bamboola Time: 4 pm to 6 pm (044 24611779/ 98403 94190)

events

For event listings contact us at PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India. Ph. no. 24461066/67/68. Email [email protected] with the subject line ‘Events’.


Please send in your responses before November 15, 2011 to [email protected] with the subject line ‘Discussion Point’, or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor, Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

School bags are getting heavier. What do you think schools

should do about it?

Maturity rather than age is the criteria. On the amount to be given, that depends on the parent. To teach children the value of money, give them small projects, like purchasing household groceries within a budget. Many parents introduce the concept of budget after seeing their teen’s lifestyle. This should not be the entry point to the subject. If the household expense is handled by your child, he gets to know the value of money and the art of budgeting in a subtle way. The next step is to teach him to shop for small events, like a get-together among friends. Guide him as needed. A kiddy bank box is also a good idea to inculcate the savings habit in a child. Shyam Sekhar, Father of three children aged 10 years, 7 years and 3 years

Yes, introducing children to money and making them realize the value of it is very essential from the age of 7. We can give

them some money to go and buy things from the nearby shop; we can introduce them to the idea of Savings Accounts

in the bank; we can make them pay the vendors who come home and have them collect the change etc. This will make them understand the value of money. Kalpana Rajiv, Mother of a 8-year-old

I really like what ICICI Bank has done in its Young Star account, a separate animated section in their website/ e-banking on the need for savings. It is an innovative and fun way of making the children realize the value of money and the importance of saving it. Venkataraghavan Srinivasan, Father of a 8-year-old

We have an `50 pocket money budget for our son. With this money, he plans his expenses meticulously. He then tells us to pay budget excesses from the many gifts he gets from his aunts and uncles. But overall, it has been a useful exercise for him in understanding money and budgeting. S Srinivasan, Father of a 9-year-old

Pocket money could be given as a fixed amount monthly depending on the lifestyle

of the parents or on festive occasions like Diwali. It should be ‘earned’ by the child for doing simple chores at home or for being well-mannered. Parents can discuss how it should be utilized by the child and monitor the spending. Sohrab, father of a 5-year-old

I come from a world where each household had several children and parents never believed in handing over any money to them. There were times when I used to yearn for a little money of my own, to feel the cash in my hands. It is better to give a little money to the children around the age of 8 or 10. It will make them feel important and worthy of the trust bestowed upon them by their parents. We can monitor the spending in subtle ways without breathing down their necks. The children will understand the value of money and how to spend it judiciously. Surayya Sheriff, Cochin

I feel that children are too young to handle money and no matter how much you teach them the importance of money, they will end up spending it on frivolous things. At this age, they will not understand the concept of saving. Their meaning of 'needs' and our meaning of the same thing is different. Once they grow old enough, they will automatically manage money. Malathi Srinivasan, mother of a 10-year-old

ChildSpeak

We children do not have many needs, other than some school items like stationery and text books. We do not require pocket money. Thameena S, 14 year old

Pocket money should be saved more and spent less. We need to account for it, keep it safe and even inform our parents before spending it. We can give some of it in charity, for the welfare of poor children. Aishwarya, 11 years

Do you think pocket

money should be

given to your child?

discussion point


T his morning, a young woman pushed a stroller by my house. I used to watch her as she hustled by on her

way to work. She was always dressed for success in a business suit with heels and a briefcase.

Then one day, she traded in her power suits for maternity clothes. She swapped her high heels for comfortabl e flats, and I noticed that she walked a bit slower to the city bus stop.

Today, she was pushing a stroller. She paused on the sidewalk to adjust the sun screen, then pulled a portable coffee mug from the stroller cup holder and took a sip.

I don’t really know this woman, but I do

know that as a first-time mom, she’s probably really tired and feeling totally overwhelmed. I remember feeling like that, too. And I must have looked as out

of control as I felt because it seemed like everyone had helpful advice about

how to raise a baby.

“Don’t you think he should be wearing a hat?” an older woman in the supermarket inquired as my firstborn fussed in the grocery cart. “Air conditioning is chilly for a baby.”

“He sure looks hot,” a man in the produce aisle said. “You should take off his socks.”

At the checkout, as I frantically dug through the diaper bag for my credit card while simultaneously trying

to wiggle a pacifier into Nathan’s screaming mouth, a woman in line behind me sagely commented, “Sounds like somebody needs a nap.” Duh.

I know that all of these people were merely offering helpful advice with no motivation beyond my child’s welfare. And now I have raised three kids (and by raised, I mean that I never lost them at the supermarket or forgot to feed them. I never ran away to Bora-Bora, even when my son put earthworms in the dryer. And none of my kids are behind bars or working as pole dancers or suing me for psychological damages), I consider myself somewhat of an expert on parenting.

Back in the 1990s when my kids were babies, strollers didn’t have cup holders, so the whole motherhood business was a lot tougher. Somehow I managed, my kids survived and I now have years of valuable expertise and advice that any young mother would be foolish to ignore.

“Get off the cell phone and talk to your baby,” I could command. “Forget that Baby Einstein stuff, and be glad that your

kid is just average,” I could say. “Don’t worry about cleaning the house until they go to college. Kids need to be exposed to germs. A healthy house is a messy house.”

I have pearls, nay, priceless gems of parenting wisdom that I would love to impart. “If your kid is smart, keep it to yourself. No other parents, except possibly your own mother, are interested.”

“Make your child take piano lessons. Really.”

“No matter how good a parent you think you are, when your child is 16, they will smash your car.”

So when the woman with the stroller stopped in front of my house, I couldn’t resist. I peeked past the cup holder to see the baby and to say something that would transform the new mom’s parenting experience and provide a lasting impact on the well-being of her child. Something that would make me look like the parenting goddess that I am.

The infant was swaddled in blankets. It was 80 degrees outside. He looked hot.

“His name is Elliot,” the mother beamed.Elliot is the name of my brother-in -law, but I didn’t mention that or point out that her child was probably working up a sweat under his downy wraps or relate the hardships of parenthood prior to cup holders.

Instead, I said, “He’s beautiful. Congratulations.” And then I shut up. Maybe I am a parenting expert.

CAROL BAND IS A JOURNALIST BY TRAINING

AND MOM BY CHANCE. THIS ARTICLE WAS

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN HER COLUMN

‘HOUSEHOLD WORD’ BY DOMINION PARENTING

MEDIA. PLEASE SEND YOUR FEEDBACK TO

[email protected] WITH A CC TO

[email protected].

BY CAROL BAND

lighter vein

November web new

Education

Transcript of November web new