Martin Messier Number One NLP Skill

Martin Messier

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Written by Martin Messier

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Introduction

“In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”

Yogi Berra

Welcome to “The Number 1 NLP Skill You Must Develop!” The purpose of this

training guide is to get you in the right spirit to master the amazing field of

Neurolinguistic Programming.

You see, the real secret to mastering the field is not to read, listen or watch NLP

trainings. I can sum up mastery of NLP to a single word: practice.

As you persist in your efforts, you will become part of an elite that has learned and

mastered the models and skillset known as NLP and will reap the benefits

associated with that mastery.



Unfortunately, only one out of ten people who learn about NLP actually go on to

master the field. Instead of spending time practicing the fundamentals, they end

up focusing on fancy techniques that in the end don’t help them further their lives.

In this training guide you’ll read about the most critical skill you must develop to

master NLP. Very few students actually spend the required time on it.

I’ll also include a series of exercises that you can practice in order to become

proficient at that skill in short order.

If you find this training guide helpful, feel free to pass it on to someone you know

that may also find it beneficial.

Martin Messier

[email protected]



Fast Phobia Cure, Belief Change, Persuasion, Influence…

In my experience as a teacher of NLP, I have noticed a pattern. Most new students

of Neurolinguistic Programming get incredibly excited about the change

techniques that have made NLP famous, like:

the fast phobia cure,

change history pattern,

belief change,

new behavior generator,

many others.

Some students of salesmanship also get excited about the possibilities to learn how

to persuade and influence better.



What they forget about is the most crucial skill.

Without this skill, it's virtually impossible to become proficient at any other skill in

NLP.

With it, you'll magnify the power and impact of everything else you learn tenfold.

And yet, it's the most overlooked skill of all.

Let me share something with you. Often, when my NLP students want to develop a

new skillset, they immediately start searching for the "doing" part of the skillset.

The words to say, the intonation to use, the posture to adopt... And it's only natural

to do so. After all, the "doing" seems to be what produces the results.

And it is, to a certain extent.

But to give tonus to the "doing", they must start somewhere else. And that's where

you need to start as well. This starting point will give you a thorough



understanding of what you need to do and will increase the precision of your

actions.

The number 1 skill of NLP

The most important NLP skill is observation. Observation is part of the

fundamentals that very few masters emphasize to their students.

After all, when paying $3,000.00 to attend a week-long seminar, who has time to

spend 5 days learning to observe?

And yet, it would be the most valuable investment of your time.

In the next few pages, we'll discuss specifically how to develop your sense of

observation.



Definition: TO OBSERVE

ob·serve - [uhb-zurv]

–verb (used with object)

1. to see, watch, perceive, or notice: He observed the passersby in the

street

2. to regard with attention, esp. so as to see or learn something: I want

you to observe her reaction to the judge's question.

3. to watch, view, or note for a scientific, official, or other special

purpose: to observe an eclipse.

–verb (used without object)

1. to notice

2. to act as an observer

[Origin: 1350–1400; ME observen < MF observer < L observāre to watch,

regard, attend to, equiv. to ob- OB- + servāre to keep, save, pay heed

to]



Think about it... Learning to observe.

Seems obvious.

No kidding. This transformed my life. Because I learned to observe, I began to

notice patterns where I was blind sighted before. And you will as well.

Both John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of Neurolinguistic

Programming, are keen observers. They created the original models of NLP by

carefully and diligently stalking and tracking the patterns of behavior of

outstanding communicators.

The real question to ask yourself now is: "What can I start to notice that I

didn't notice before?"

You don’t need a PhD to become an outstanding observer. But you probably need

to become an outstanding observer to get a PhD.



I prepared a series of exercises to get you started on the road to becoming an

astonishing observer. Don’t worry about being perfect. Just focus on doing the

exercises and maintaining your practice. Let’s get started.



Exercise 1 – Find the seven dolphins

The first thing we’re going to do is head over to:

http://www.planetperplex.com/en/jim_warren.html

On that page you will find a painting by Jim Warren called 7 dolphins.

Click on that painting and wait for it to load on the page.

You have a simple goal: find the seven dolphins hidden in the painting.

Take the time you need to do this. You don’t have to see all of them in 2 minutes.

Not even in 1 hour or even 1 week. Relax and take all the time you need to find each

of the seven dolphins.

Avoid stressing about getting an exercise right as quickly as possible. If you stress

yourself out, it’ll only take longer. Relax and allow your unconscious to sort out all

the patterns.

It’s that simple. Let it happen.

http://www.planetperplex.com/en/jim_warren.html



Exercise 2 – Ask yourself new questions

Questions direct your focus and being able to ask new questions will enable you to

enrich the resolution of your experience.

If you live in the city, head downtown where many people usually walk around.

Start observing people, at first with a clear head.

Eventually, lock onto one person and ask yourself a few questions, such as: what

would it feel like to be this person? Where is this person going? Can I think like

this person does? Is that person married? What is that person thinking? How fast

is the person moving?

Next, imagine that you’re that person’s shoe. How do you feel as the shoe? Are you

comfortable with a foot inside you? How fast are you moving?

Repeat this process with at least 20 different people. Take all the time you need

and allow your mind to free flow or diverge while you’re doing the exercise.



Exercise 3 – Model people

This powerful exercise, if you practice it regularly, will do more for your NLP

skillset than any other I can think of. To this day, I still practice it because it’s really

the toughest NLP gym I know.

Go to a public place such as a shopping mall and sit on a bench for at least 10

minutes. Allow your foveal vision to relax and let your peripheral vision take over

your sight. You’ll feel your whole body relax as this happens. Then, just let the

sound and rhythm of the environment soak you up while you sit and relax.

After about 10 minutes, get up and start walking around. Pick a stranger who is

walking at least 20 feet in front of you and begin to walk just like that person. Relax

your body and allow yourself to adopt that person’s gait. Allow your head to

position itself like that person’s head. Let your arms swing in the same rhythm.

Accompany the rhythm of their footsteps. Allow your entire posture to adjust itself

until you are practically a mirror image of that person.



When you do this right, at one point, you’ll feel your body “lock onto” theirs and at

that point both your walks will match. You’ll certainly feel a warm feeling in your

chest and, often, the person you are following will turn around and look if they are

being followed.

As you become more proficient at this exercise, choose people who walk really

differently from you. If you’re really tall, imitate short people. If you’re a woman,

imitate men’s walks.

Note: Be discrete! Your goal here is not to be a caricature of others, but to get a

strong feeling sense of how others conduct themselves in the world. Try not to get

caught. There’s a big difference between imitating and stalking, and you want to

make sure you’re not labeled as doing the latter.



Exercise 4 – Search for a specific word

For this exercise, you’ll need a book that you’ve never read before. A non-fiction

book will probably be the best bet, but if none are available a novel will do.

Flip the book open to the first chapter. On that page, choose a word. Any word will

do, although it would be best if you don’t choose the most frequently used articles,

such as “the” or “a”. Ideally, pick a noun.

Next, search for that word in the text. Keep track of how many times it shows up.

Go on for at least 50 pages. Notice how many times it appears in these pages.

Now, go back to the beginning of the section you read and choose a new word. Go

through the same section one more time looking for the new word you have

chosen. Count how many times that word appears.

Next, do it one more time. Choose a third word and go through that section again

counting how many times that word shows up in the text.

Quick question: What was that section of the book about?



Exercise 5 – The Imaginary Photographer

Go out by foot in the city or in nature and pretend you are a photographer and look

for sights that would look like a letter of the alphabet.

For instance, two trees leaning outward from the same base is V. Or you might

notice a street crossing that makes up an X.

This exercise, in addition to being fun, will make you a lot more alert to what is

around you.



Conclusion

Becoming an outstanding observer will pave the way for developing more complex

skills as you move along, such as calibration and modeling.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this training guide, no one would pay

$3,000.00 on a seminar to just observe. The only such seminar I can think of

would be a drawing seminar, since drawing is 90% observation and 10% technique.

My final word of advice is to make sure you set aside uninterrupted time to

practice. Just like any other skill, the only way to acquire it is to practice, practice,

practice and practice some more.

Caveat: don’t stress out about this.

Remember the need to relax. When you relax, you’ll get out of your own way and

allow your competence to find you. This might very well be the most important

skill you will ever develop in your lifetime.



Get more!

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Specifically, I focus on finding the 20% that produces 80% of the results.

When I find something that works, I systematize it and offer it to my squad of

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Martin Messier Number One NLP Skill

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