Life in E_motion_Autobiography Smashwords

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Life In “E” motion

Life

In

“E” motion

by

E.L. R. Jones

©E.L.R. Jones Life In “E” motion

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Life In “E” motionLife In “E” motionCopyright 2013 © E.L.R. JonesPublished by E.L.R. Jones at SmashwordsAll rights reserved.This book is a work of fiction and any

resemblance to persons-living or dead-or places, events, or locales is purely accidental. The characters are reproductions of the Author’s imagination and used fictitiously. This book contains content that is not suitable for readers 17 and under.

Cover design by E.L.R. Jones via CreateSpace

Please be aware that this book cannot be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without written permission from the Author, E.L.R. Jones, at [email protected], or within the sharing guidelines at a legitimate library or bookseller. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the Author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.


mailto:[email protected]

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Dedication

Life In “E” motion is and forevermore will be my way of telling my story. It is an autobiography presented in the only way that I could share what it was that I was feeling. I have always had a passion for reading. I loved and still love spending most of my time lost in the tales that are woven by the creative minds that present and bare their souls within the pages of a book. By the time I was fourteen years old, I’d lived quite a bit of life already. I needed an outlet to express my frustrations, my hurts, my torments and my demons. It’s something that I have used as a form of therapy. I now incorporated the” gift of rhyme” into my novels. The words, thoughts, stanzas, poems that follow on these pages will take your through my life’s journey thus far. They are in no ©E.L.R. Jones Life In “E” motion

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Life In “E” motionspecific order. Most of the pieces that I wrote when I was younger are grouped accordingly. If you follow the pages, you will see the growth from child to woman. I hope you enjoy the works and are possibly inspired by the words.

~E.L.R. Jones

FORGOTTEN

I have come through many years I have fought back various tears

I have lived such a short time And yet I am in my prime

I have seen the faces of those I’ve lostTo remember the names I’ve tried, at all cost

I think that I have been here beforeBut no one wants to open the doorThe door that opens up my heart

To have a new beginning and a fresh startThere are so many things to be done

Because I’ve never finished what I’ve begunI know, I have been many places

Forgotten words and unfamiliar facesI do not know what has been said

For I do not remember the words I have readI just don’t know what I should do

Even in thinking, I do not remember you Let’s look back as far back as the title


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Life In “E” motionCan you tell that what I speak of is the Bible?

I read as well as A-B-CIf you need an answer, look to me

Just as the title reads “Forgotten,” it’s never doneAnd yet “the word” has just begun


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What Have I Done?

Child of God, Omnipotent OneWords that describe the altruistic son

To despise your creationI despise a part of you

And so now I can truly understandWhy it is that your father created man

To bring himself joy and peaceWith the gift of man in his reach

The LORD is handling whatever is on your mindAlways know, he will be there, right on time

Sin is a very hard thing to overcomeWhat have I done?

To many, this has become their only questionWhat have I done?


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Gone Away from Me

I am remembering a time when you were hereSitting here, holding me, lying next to me

Now all my eyes can do is shed a tearCrying out, waters running infinitely

Not knowing what it was that made you go awayHaving this lingering feeling of loss

My heart cries out, wishing that you did stayThinking back, I realize I paid the cost

The payment being, the pain welled up withinLooking at the photos of memories past

At the way we use to be back then What could I have done to make it last?

Watching others as they fall in love Noticing the love they share with each kiss

Me, myself, alone, as the most lonesome doveAs the raindrops fall creating a mist

After the rain, after the stormOvertaking my spirit and bringing peace again

Remembering the days of a love that is gone Knowing now that my heart has taken its time to

mendAs the sun begins casting its heavenly array

To love again and begin yet another dayMy heart will hold true to this promise

Even with the pain the past had brought usWith hope and faith, we will open that door

Only the Father in heaven knows what’s in storeFor my heart, and myself, we two will walk the path

From beginning to end, for us to do the mathOf bad verses good relationships in comparison

To have true amore’ and have peace and pleasure within


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The Prodigal Son

ProdigalUncontrolled, extravagant, reckless, wasteful

SonYoung man, schoolboy, youngster, lad

The prodigal sonSome believe to be the worse child they’ve ever had

But in this particular fable The father decided to turn the table

He chose to celebrate the black sheep Which made his golden child begin to weep

The child who had always been thereFelt tossed aside without even a care

Until his father came to explainHow happy he was to see the black sheep againThe father enlightened the golden child with the

notion Of enjoying the homecoming and the promotion

Instead of seeing the bads, see the goods Of having the child home, instead of lost in the

woods


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To My Caramel Love

To my caramel loveThe Lord watches over us from above With faith and strength a love did start

A love that has come straight from the heartTwo people together it has began

To strengthen each other both woman and manTo feel each other’s deepest pain

And relieve each other’s heartache and strainTo my caramel loveWhom I love much

The Lord is watching us from above With every single touch

My New Found Love {my love lost}

My newfound love It’s also my love lost

I guess that’s just the costThat you have to pay

For the love you found one dayA love you thought you knew

Away one day he flewAway from me, away from my heart

A love that just had its startWhat can you say?

When you find out your man is leaving one dayNot leaving you for good

Although you know he couldJust long enough to say

That he’ll be back someday


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Continued Education

Continued educationIs not like summer vacationIt’s continuous hard work

And dealing with someone who acts like a jerkIt brings about a feeling of good

Continuing your education shouldFinishing school is not that tough

If you’re not prepared it will be roughGet your education before you go into your field

Then you can use your mind as your shield


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Miss Jones, how are you doing today? Well, I would have to say indifferent. You know, finding

out that you are reaching out to someone else, and how they don’t respond to you the way that you want them to. A person may be in love, but that

person may not love the person that loves them. I believe that is so wrong for a person to use

someone’s affection like that and not even regret what they have done to the other person. Love is a

respective and sacred emotion that many, many people take for granted. I, just like many other

people, know what it feels like to love and not be loved back.


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A Lover’s Quarrel

A lover’s quarrelDoesn’t mean the end of the worldIt means you both have an opinion

Without that your relationship cannot beginThe love you have for one another

Can only be given by a special loverTwo people who are together

Must have these for it to be foreverMost people say that you should just give it up

But just remember that GOD can overflow your cupWhen love is in the air

Always remember who was the first to careRemember the one who created this world

When you have that first or thirteenth lover’s quarrel

A person who can take the time and just call or write a person for whom they have deep feelings

for, is a person who has strength of character, and an overabundance of kindness within there hearts. So, you asked me how I am doing today. I will and can tell you that I am hurt, but I am very much so happy because I am free and have a great deal of

confidence in myself.


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Readily I can

Readily I can do my best at everythingBut why should I, when my heart won’t sing

For I would give anythingTo hear those silent bells ring

Within my soul, there is a faint cryFrom a little girl

By the seashore, the waves crashFrom a little girl

From the treetops which are so freeI wonder if they want to be like me

Why not you sayYou have everything anyway

I ask myself whyWhy can’t that little girl have the world?

BECAUSEYou, yourself know you want to fight

You want to striveUntil you speak up

That little girl’s world will never come aliveThat utterly sacred wish of all

To be as the raindrops when they fall


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To be a Mother

Tired, drained, unpleasantWithdrawn, quiet, condescending

Hurt, worried, distraughtOver the long battle that has been fought

Hardworking, aggressive, quirkyStriving for the best, flirty

Happy, loving, gentle, complimentingThings she does to make hearts sing

Swift, firm, right on timeThings she can be to keep us in lineComforting, soft, sweet, and warm

She does these things to help calm the stormComplicated, misunderstood, taken for granted

Things that make a mother enchantedFeet, back, shoulder, hand painCan describe the physical strain

Father, Mother, Daughter, Sister, BrotherThese are all words that can describe a mother


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Mind Over MatterAs I sit here all aloneWaiting by the phoneThinking about you

And all the things you doThe way you kiss me, touch me, and hold me

The way you love me, caress me, and mold meAs your lips touch my body

And your rough hands deceive meMakin’ me think you care

As you run your fingers through my hairYou think I’ll always be here

But all you’ll find is a paper with my tearUnless you make up for what you’ve done

You’ll be gone and a new day will have begunJust for me

And whomever I choose you seeI don’t need you to be there

Because what you’ve done is truly not fair I won’t sit and wait like the others

So you can go find anotherMy heart won’t be in pieces or shatter

Because it’s just another case of mind over matter


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My Birthday

On Tuesday, September 20th, 1977I was born at a.m. 9:11

With my birthstone being SapphireI hope I’ll get my hearts desire

With my Zodiac sign being VirgoTo all, my love, I will show

I’ll celebrate another birthdayOn Sept. 20, 1994, if God permits me to stay

On this planet earthIn which God gave my mother, at the age of

seventeen, the gift of birthNothing will change my years of experience

If you forget this, it’s on your conscienceNow this year, I’ll be seventeen

Seventeen, what does that mean?


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My Father

June 5, 1993Was when I found Jesus, you see

Baptized into the Church of Calvary Hill And I made serving God my only will

I remember the bible’s reference to his peopleAs I remember when I found God, my Savior

I tried to change for the betterThe Devil said I shall not let her

With any God-fearing childThey know they’ll have to go that extra mile

For my God, I will do battle or I’ll fightTo make my sinful life, for the right

I will serve him to the best of my abilityI know this is my responsibility

As a child of God, who wants to be a born again Christian

God, there’s no better person to serve than himWhen you think of the sacrifice of our Lord and

Savior, Jesus Christ


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Hurt

Slowly tears drop from my eyes This lonely heart begins its cries

Of hurt, frustration, and painThe sun shines bright, and it won’t rain

Yet and still more and more tearsHurt, depression, lonely, sorry, fears

Why me this hurt heart asks?Still the heart should heal for other tasks

It is so hard to do thisWhen your heart feels like it’s in 1000 bits

Just like it was dropped from a plane And won’t be seen ever againWhy me this heart asks still?

Why all of these feelings I feel?No one has the answer to the questions

They can only make guessing suggestionsYou’re young it’s something you go through

Oh, really? Did this happen to you, too? Yes, many of them say

Then, they make jokes and begin to playShe {the hurt heart} sits by phone

Hurt, frustrated, depressed, in pain, and all alone


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My One and Only

There, out in the worldShe is, that precious little girl

That girl, I once knewThat girl, they called Boo

I knew her when she was innocent I knew her when she was heaven sent

That sweet and precious little girlOut here in this cold cruel world

She once wore a genuine and enlightening smileThe happiness she wore was her style

The love that she felt in her heartWas a love given to her from the start

Forever Young

I will always stay forever youngBecause for this child I must be strong

Love in my heart to guide meStrength in my faith to pride me

There’s a young child inside crying outWondering what this life is all about

Sometimes I wish I might knowSo within my child that knowledge will grow

My goal is just to stay forever young Because my child’s life has only just begun


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Life In “E” motionThis Life

This life is too far-fetchedIn my mind, I have this sketch

Of my life…And being someone’s wife

I know there’s a lot I must go throughTo get to the things I must get to

Why must life be so tough?Why can’t what I’ve been through be enough?

To strengthen meIn my quest to be

The best wifeIn this life

Christmas Wishes

Christmas wishesIf have three this day

THREEI hope come true in a very special way.

The first wishI wish for my love, my heart, my husband, to be with

me and only meThe second wish

To have with me, as healthy as can be,Isaiah, my new baby

The third wishThe final wish

The wish for unconditional loveAnd peace from the Heaven’s above


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Death

We are born, we live, we dieWe love, we hurt, we cryTears of joy, tears of pain

Death hurts us, over and over againLife is so precious

And made just for usLife, Death

We love, we hurt, we cryWe are born, we live, we die


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To Me Myself Keysha

To me, myself, KeyshaI’d grant you one wish

True happinessYes, I know that you’ve been through a lot

A nervous problem is all you’ve gotAnd a heart full of emptiness and pain

Which puts a really bad strainOn those you love and those you care for

No matter what has happened beforeYou ought not take it out on others

Especially not the one who is your loverNot just because his gender is male

Not all of his species did failYes, many males have done you wrong

But you can’t hold a grudge for too longAll you need is a good one

To show you some love and affectionNot someone to use and abuse you

Or someone to confuse youSomeone who will appreciate your sacrifice

And will respect you and treat you rightIf you give something sacred to them

Whether it be you, a gift, or a rose stemIt will be something he will cherish He will try to grant your every wish

You could spoil him and he could spoil youThat is the best thing for you to do


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Friendship

Friendship a relationship that’s one of a kindFriendship a relationship that’s hard to find

A friend, someone who’ll always be thereA friend, someone who’ll always be near to care

She knows your hurts and your fears She’ll be there to wipe away your tears

She’ll be there whether you’re happy or sadShe’ll even be there when you’re feeling mad

So, if you have a friend that is trueMake sure that friend is true to you

The True Meaning of Family

The true meaning of family means different things to different people. The dictionary states that the

word family means “the most instinctive, fundamental social or mating group in man and animal, especially the union of man and woman

through marriage and their offspring; parents and their children.”

I believe that family is those persons you choose to keep closest to you. Whether they be blood or not,

you will always feel that connection between yourself and that person or those persons.


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You Are Special

You are specialIs what I keep telling myself

You are specialIt comes from no one else

You are special

The Pain You’ve Caused

A young lady now of seventeenA girl raised to be a queen

That, is who I amBut you don’t really give a d---

You don’t know the pain you’ve causedYou don’t know the pain I’ve seen

Because you’re just too blind to seeWhat happened when you intervened

I am hurt, I’m confused, I don’t know what to doBecause of your stupidity

Because of your insincerityBecause of your need to fondle me

Because you are maleYou thought you had the right

To place me in that frightful cellOn that fatal night

The night you touched me Was the night you lost that role of Father

You now can seeWhy you shouldn’t even bother

To get in touch with meBecause I cannot call you, Daddy


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Hymn of Knowledge (Rig-Veda)

All of my life, God’s been good to meI try to wear a smile so that all can seeFeeling as I feel about these young men

I feel that I should be able to start life againMy life has now just begun

But the love that was in my heart is over, finished, done

My heart goes out to one and allWho think these men will catch them when they fallMen say they can’t live without us, yet they can’t

live with usStill when we ask for attention and love they want to

make a big fussThey want us to love, honor, and trust them

But they don’t want to do the sameSo to h--- with him

To h--- with all of themWanting to sleep with every Kelly, Kiesha, and Kim

Just like a dog, to let his penis take overAnd go back to anotherTo tell her he loves her

Sometimes I wish I could receive a kiss from GodTo make it all betta

This is my hymn of knowledge, rig-veda


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Life In “E” motionMoonlit Night

By Lecole/LaKeysha

Moonlit night, Casting down upon us with such glorious light

Set in heaven perfect without blemishWith the offset stars, such a beautiful sight

So powerful that even daylight can’t diminishAnd the dew grass below looks above in wonder

Of your effervescent splendorRays so bright outshining even the rain and thunder

Yet being the lesser light is what it was meant forThe skies surrounding shone within a blue/gray

scaleHolding everything in its place

Given the job nightly, to set without failThe dawning of a new day to receive God’s grace

My Special Moment

That day that very special dayThat day that seemed it should be made for May

The day that is sharedWith a love that is caredThat one special momentMy very special momentThat can’t ever be takenOr even slowly mistaken

For anything lessThan a sweet happiness

Oh, such tendernessOh, so much soft, gentleness

A moment, one special momentA moment spent in heaven

Some moments spent for eleven


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The Dancer

The dancer is graceful, sure of herself, and prettyShe knows where she stands and how to give pity

She’s balanced, poised, and comfortableHer beauty and presence are rather remarkable

The Dancer


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Patiently

Patiently, I await your callBut you won’t call, no not at all

I’ve waited patiently for someone like you Because… you see… you just don’t know about the

things you doThings… the things you do to me

You don’t know of the flame burning from within, you see

Every since the day we metThe day you touched my hand

And it began to sweatI knew you were the man

The man whom I’ve longed for, for so longThe man, to whom which I belong

I’ve been searching my whole life through Just to find someone like you

From the flow of your clothing to the look in your eyes

I knew that you were the one to fulfill my hearts cries

For comfort, companionship, and loveWith a love so strong

It was sent from my father, the one who watches us from above

Now the wait is over, after so longFrom across the room I stare

At the man whom which I am going to call my caramel love bear

Now all I have to do is wait for you to acknowledge the love inside of thee

For me, so I sit and I wait, patiently


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Deep Wishes

As he walks nearer to meMy lips part unconsciously

And they reveal things I’d sayOnly if I’d had enough nerve that dayOh, of course, it’s been heard beforeBut here goes, here goes once more

I can’t say what I am feelingThat would be too much of myself that I would be

revealingThe anguish of knowing I’d be rejected

It’s true, it should be expectedNo, I can’t, I won’t

My mind says yes, my heart says don’t To think this is what I have wished for, for so longTo go through all of this trouble to right a wrong

I wonder… I wonder what he is thinkingAll cool and collected, while my heart is sinking

I want to find out, but I can’t do itWell, I guess, for now, this is where I’ll sitIn my favorite chair, with paper and pen

To sit and ponder, again and againThe thoughts that run deeply within me

Of all of my wishes of theeI can’t go on hiding like this

So I’ll leave my thoughts to their own mental bliss


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To My Newest Blessing

To my newest blessingI wonder what our months together will bring

To be, so very close to you But yet, so far

What can I do?In my heart, there has been a scar

That since I’ve known of you, has healedMy joy and love for you shall never be concealed

No one can ever know the pain that I feel Unless they know, that my heart you did stealIt is so amazing, the joy of this life we bring

My heart jumps and my voice will singTo know of the precious moments we have together

to spendThe precious touches to my heart you send

Personal Memo’s The man I love

The man I love Is as sweet and as gentle as a turtle dove

He loves all of his creationsMan was one of his first innovations

Why do I feel the way I do? When all I can think about is you

What was it in your eye?That made me fall for you

Do you know why?Why I have fallen for you?


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Mind, Body, and Soul

I am as free as a butterfly that just escaped its cocoon

I am as beautiful as a flower that blooms in the month of June

I am more precious then time, TIMES itselfNo that would be GodSo let me see what else

I am beautiful, I am precious, I am kindBut those things are only in my mind

I am just as insecureBecause I am not pure

Enough to see or be what everyone else can beI need to be touched by the male body

To feel the beauty; the freedom of being most precious

To feel just like I am at my bestWithout this I would feel ugly and hated

Even though this has not been statedTo be ugly, hated, cast away, and cold

Is what I feel in my mind, body, and soul


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Remembrance of Love

Remembrance of a love that’s madeIn the days of yesterday

The times I’ve shed many tearsTears of joy and of fears

Fear of being hurt once againThat’s what my remembrance of love has been

The hurt, fear, pain, unkindnessThe love in my heart grows less and lessAll I can feel is this undeniable hatred

Towards those who’ve done wrong by me, who’ll wish they never did

Revenge, in God’s word, is an earthly sinTo do that, would be wrong then

The love sent from my savior’s heaven aboveIs or should be my remembrance of love

But unfortunately it’s notIt’s the love on earth, I never got

I wish I could change thisAnd let it all be a myth

But it’s something I cannot do Because my remembrance of love is of you


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Thoughts Out of the Blue

Thoughts out of the blueMay mean nothing to you

But it means something to meBecause some of my thoughts are heavenlyThe little thoughts, those often seem mere

Will make your dreams seem near

If I Was Your Girlfriend

If I was your girlfriendIf I was your best friendAnd you were my man

Would you treat me the best way you can?Would you care for me?Or would you let me be?

If you were in pain or hurtWould you deny me and go out and flirt

If I was your girlfriendWould you care that I was pregnant by another

Or would you help me and be my loverIf you need something, would you call?Or would you just not let me know at all

I’ll be there when you want to walk I’ll be there when you need to talk

I’ll be there to fulfill your needI’ll be there to heal you when you bleed

I’ll be there through thick and thinI’ll be there to even listen

I’ll be there to show you I care I will be there

If I was your girlfriend And you were my man


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Give Thanks

I give thanks for everything the Lord has doneThough I know my life on earth has just begun

I give thanks for my family, my friends, and my lifeAnd hopefully I will be blessed with being

someone’s wifeBut I come to give praise

Not to ask for things and be amazedI’m giving thanks for love, health, and happiness

Yes, I feel I’ve truly been blessed

Time

Time has come Time has goneThe time will come when we must say so long

There’s a time for love There’s a time for pain

There will be love There will be warThere is love now, but we need more

Why is it the world is so cold?Can’t they see this time we should hold?

God said love and not to hateSome people say this must be our fate

Together we will live only then must we be thankfulFor time has come Time has gone

The time will come when we must say so long


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The Love I Wish could be mine

The love I wish could be mineIs a love that is as fine as wine

One of the sweetest guys you could meetFrom his loving head down to his feetIn my mind he is one of the truest men

I thought I would never fall in love againThere are things about him that you rarely find in a

man To love him, is to love the best then

But I’ll take my time. Him I’ll get to knowAnd from what I know now, all my love I will showI know he’s not perfect. He may do things wrong

But where he’s weak, I will make him strongTo him I will love to belong

And where I’m weak. He, too, will make me strongThis young man is the man I dream aboutThe kind of man I’d marry without a doubt

What I need in a man, he meets all my qualifications

All day and all night, he enters my imaginationI’ll just have to take my time, be patient

I would be miserable if I didn’t talk to him every day

I don’ know if his heart will lean my way Right now his heart is torn and teared

I don’t wanna fall in love, because I am so scaredIf it happens it happens, it’s our lives to live

If we do begin a relationship, 100% we’ll giveBut for now I dream of a love as fine as wine

The love I wish could be mine all MINE!!!


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Thinking of You

Thinking of you, day and nightWondering tonight, if you’ll be alrightYou have called, and we have spoken

And I’m wondering should I share my tokenOf love

L-O-V-E sent from the heavens above Your dark brown eyesThat light up the skies

Your soft and moist lips As they kiss my tips

Your brown and hairy chestAs it touches my breastsYour big strong hands

That makes my world demand For more

Of what you have in storeYour strong and muscular arms

That sounds the alarmFor love

And what I’m dreaming of You’ve kissed me, you’ve hugged me

You’ve even touched meBut have you made love to me?

No N-O NOWe’ve been close, we’ve caressed

I’ve given you all of my bestBut when it comes to making love,

No, I’m not readyLet’s take it slow, very slow and steadySoon and very soon, we’ll be together

Always, in love, together, Forever


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Miss Jones

Miss JonesA girl with many hopes and dreams

In love with a man, as it seemsHer mother ignored her, stepfather abused her,

father molested herNow she just prays for the lives of her brothers and

sisterA sixteen-year-old mother

Of one sister and three brothersShe has no social life

Now her boyfriend wants her to be his wifeShe just celebrated her sweet sixteen

For her to say yes to him may seem obsceneHurt, angry, confused, abused, in love

Nothing can help her, but the love sent from heaven above

To him, this man, why won’t you call?It makes you wonder, will he be there to catch her

when she does fall?Her dream proposal

Is one that is over the radioShe would like this man to be her knight in shining

armorHe says he’ll do nothing to harm her

But see he already didThis is why she still feels like a two year old kid


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Love {Part I}

Love is here Love is thereLove is sometimes everywhere

Love hurts and sometimes love will make you cry Some people say love will never die

People need many thingsThey think they need

Gold, pearls, and diamond ringsSome people have the voice to sing

But there is nothing like what love can bringLove, happiness, tears of joy

Love is here for every girl and boy


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Thanks Be Unto You

Thank you FatherFor the many blessings you have bestowed

For the wondrous miracles, in your hands you holdFrom the flight of the butterfly to the whispering

windFrom the opening of the bluest sky to the tree that

does bendFrom the single melody of a bird

To the songs that ring true in your wordFrom the gentle cooing of a baby

To the sun that rises, bringing new light dailyFrom the stars that dance effortlessly across the

evening sky To the sweet comfort of a mother’s lullaby

From the silky mist of a spring flowerTo the peaceful silence of an April shower

From the marvelous glow of the color of the rainbow

To the tiniest cry of a newborn doeThese things exude your awesome grandeur

As I marvel in reverence of your glorious splendor


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Never Again

Never againWill I be taken by a man

Never again

Never againWill the sands of life burn my eyes

Never again

Never againWill I agree to be someone’s wife

Never again

Never againWill I give all of myself and get nothing back

Never again

Never againWill I hang around a person who smokes crack

Never again

Never againWill I fell a class

Never again

Never again Will I come last

Never again

Never againWill I open up my heart

Never again

Well,I think it’s time for a fresh start

Never again


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Love {Part II}

Love a feeling of many waysA game that everyone plays

Some have played to win Some say that they won’t ever play again

Love comes from the heartMany caring relationships it did start

I’ve loved and lost And to me, yes, I’ve paid the cost

Love comes and goesSometimes it feels as if we’re showing shows

When your heart goes popAll of a sudden the love just stops

I was in love This love I felt was like the feather of a dove

We had many hopes and dreamsWe would be together forever, as it seems

But he needed to be aloneNow the feelings of love should be gone

But they are still hereThey cause my dark brown eyes to shed a tear

Love, LoveA game many will playI will always love himIs all that is left to say


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Scatterbrainism

Just to think one thought at a timeIs and invariable problem in my mind

Thoughts running through and throughMakes conversing, an impossible thing to doI’m thinking that maybe I could see a doctor

But in making the appointment, what do I make it for?

The idea has been tossed around time and time again

I don’t know how and I don’t know whenIt’s like a maze of cars, up there

Just aimlessly driving, ending up nowhereI’ve done things to try to find a cure

But in my brain, my actions aren’t sureIt has been very hard to make this rhyme

With all of these thoughts, being juggled all the timeOh wait, here’s one

Oh no, here they comeSo much for that one

I believe it is doneWell, it’s now becoming very hard to finish this line

For I have an incoming; fine, wine, mind, nine, kind, time, rhyme, lime, sublime…

Scatterbrainism is to have scattered thoughts running about the brain, unable to grasp hold, and

stick to one of these thoughts. Take scatterbrain and put it to the 5th (fifth) power.


42


The Beauty of A Man

The beauty of a man is He is a husband, lover, and friend

The beauty of a man isHe presents himself the way no one else can

The beauty of a man is In God’s hands, he puts his life

And he shall leave his parents to join with his wifeThe beauty of a man is

No other can know the joy of the love he bringsOr even the melody of the song his heart sings

The beauty of a man is How enchanting it is; the warmth of his smile

And the mesmerizing echo, as he laughs with his child

The beauty of a man isHis charisma, boldness, personality, spirit, and

voiceAnd with these traits, you have no choiceBut to fall into his world of fascination

Defining your lives by classificationThe beauty of a man is

The wisdom of what he does know:It is good to have a wife, but better to have a friendThese are the things that encompass the beauty of a

man And ONLY to his God chosen wife, all things will

he show


42

Life In “E” motionHow Do You Handle...

How do you handle the day that seems like it will never end

Or the day that seems to have never beganHow do you handle the moment you realize your

parent is a human beingOr the moment you began truly seeing

How do you handle the moments of betrayal?Or the truth of missing that one intricate detail

How do you handle the pain of mental or physical molestation?

Or the moment your child breaks your concentration

How do you handle a friend or loved one you won’t trust?

Or the next lover who has again bitten the dustHow do you handle a person who has watched

another die?Or the person who can’t find the reasoning for the

tears they cryHow do you handle a child that has been lost?

Or the moment you find out how much college costHow do you handle your ever-mounting

attractions?Or the hour that comes with too many distractions

How do you handle domestic violence?Or that moment of uncomfortable silence

How do you handle the frustration of an unpaid bill?

Or the times you’ve chosen to go against God’s willHow do you handle guilt and the discomfort that

will ultimately come?Or the moments you feel dumber than dumb

How do you handle the realization that all of this does not matter?


42

Life In “E” motionOr the news that this news will not scatter

How do you handle non-abstinence or teenage pregnancy?

Or the explaining to a young child the word responsibility

How do you handle any situation without first going to God?


42

Life In “E” motionThe Pages of Life

The pages of life have been turnedSometimes good, sometimes bad

Both ends of the candlestick have been burnedYet, still I see the best times that I have ever had

I see a life of hope, love, and prosperityA lifetime of friends and the dreams they share with

meI see the life cycle repeated with every birth

And even shown through the flowers of the earthI see a life of strength and dedication

In spite of the brokenness and deprivationOh, I see a life where you ain't seen nothin' yet

And that unreachable star, I will surely getI see a life of perseverance and growth

And where there is joy and peace, YES, you can have both

I see the times when I finally saw the footprints in the sand

And in my heart I said, "I know I can"I can see the times where I had to self-evaluate

And now in those times I just can't waitI see the person I was all those years ago

And look at them now thinking, how could I not know

I see now before me the years of freedomAnd know, I will serve you from now to kingdom

comeYou see, my Father, I have come to know myself

through youKnowing now my road and what you wish for me to

doThe pages of life have been turned

And a new book of life have I earned


42

Life In “E” motionKnowing you and all that you have seen me throughLet's me know that I cannot praise anyone but you


42


The Connection

We've made eye contact from across the roomThe feelings we share begin to loom

A spiritual connection is what we feelAnd yet we wonder, Is this real?

We do a little danceAnd question if we should take this chance

Yet still on this we have not spokenOn the connection we share, this tokenWe just dance more so around the issueIs this something that we should ensue?

There is a connection that we shareIt is evident that we two, this pair

Have something on our hearts and mindsOnce the fear is overcome, the courage we will find

There is something stirring with this Christian connection

The ability to know the perfection Of God

And this, his road we trodAllowing his and only his will to be done

To find out if in this, one new thing wilt have begunThe connection is in the touch of each hand

As the feelings we share continue and expandIt is not known to us what is in store

Or whether this is something we should exploreWith prayer and praise that availeth much

We will know the truth of this connection, by God's approving touch


42


Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the

dreams you want to realize. Your words are the

greatest power you have. The words you choose and their use establish the life

you experience. ~ Sonia Choquette.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

~ Maya Angelou.


42


The Stages

Of

My Life


42


What to do with that BUSTER man?

What do you do when your man has no time for you?You let him know that you need to let him go. How do you know that you should let him go? When the time comes where his feelings he doesn't show. What about if he is really trying? It's over when you spend less time talking and more time crying. Should he know just how I feel? Only if the relationship is real. How do I know if that is the case? It isn't if he gives you too little time and too much space. It is if in his heart you have a place. What do I do with all the pain inside? Have some chocolate and let it all slide. Will I ever know love again? Yes, but first let go of that BUSTER friend!!


42


Why He’s Sexy?

He is so sexy to meFrom that voice down to his walkMy goodness, he just exudes sexy

The pretty boy smileThe clean cut styleThe way he walks

The silkiness of his talkThe way my heart flutters when he enters a roomThe way I wait to see if he will acknowledge me

The way he stands with such greatnessThe joy that is shown in our faces

His intelligenceThe time well spent

He makes my heart skip a beat

I want his lips pressed against mineI want him to know how I think he’s fineI want him to feel every part of my touch

I want him to know why I desire him so muchHe stands 11 inches 5 feet tall

This is one of the reasons why I fall

I so want this crush to be that and so much moreI want it to be more than I dream of

Why is it that I can’t get him out of my head?All I can think of is him

All I want is to breathe him in All I want is for him to take in all of who I am

Does he think of me at all?Will he ever see me as I see him?

I want him to be with me


42

Life In “E” motionI want him to know how happy he could be with me

I want him to feel my presence surrounding himI want to be his every thing

I want to experience all that I dream about having with him


42

Life In “E” motionThe Dance

The dance is all there isA communication of hers and his

The two minds and bodies intertwineLike the flavor of a fine wine

The conversation between these twoIs the melody that gives its due

So many words unspokenAnd the affection being its token

Walls crashHarmonies dashSpells abound

Love all around

The glow of infatuation As the two give way to the temptationAllowing each to give in to this chance

To get lost in the other’s glance

Never wanting to walk away from this momentAlways recalling the time they spent

Yet the players tune must come to an endString masters who have become a friend

Winds blow Brass showBass hits

Silence splits

Two joint at the hip companions in a dazeAs they progress to the next complicated phase

They move to the song gracefullyAs if two instruments playing one key

The wind whispers beneath her dressAs she gets lost in its caress

He is entranced by the carriage of each noteWith such entanglement they begin to float


42


Beauty encompasses each gesture, each hand flickEnraptured, enamored, they move so quick

The floor gives way to the moves they makeAs if knowing the steps they had to take

CRESCHENDOS All has fallen silent

One thing heard, the sound of his then her pant

As the finalize their stanzHe says, “May I have the next dance?”She smiles and with a touch of his chin

Their serenade begins again


42


Your heart, My heart

Are our hearts in tune with one anotherOr should my love remain as a sister’s to a brotherWhat I wouldn’t give to be in tune with the strings

of your heartTo know whether a new relationship should start

To hear your voice makes me smileA smile so wide, one I haven’t felt in a while

The beauty of the joy you bringIs so harmonious it makes me sing

You, my friend, have always been thereCheering me up, showing you care

With you there is nothing I have to suppressYou’ve seen all of me, both in and out of dress

You know me better than mostFew have the pleasure to make that boast

My hope is that our hearts will intertwineThat I will be yours and you will become mine

If remaining where we are is your choiceThen I will remove the love from my voiceI will take the future life from my dreams

Because they will be mine, as it seems

I will go back to being the special heart placed friend

And in that place forever I will standKnow that I have felt the ray of your light

A ray from far away that feels so right


42


A moment of your time to me means so muchMy heart, my mind, my spirit with your heart, you

touch


42


Confession

What is the purpose of all this pain?If for strength, wrong, all I feel is drain

The drain of my spirit weakeningThe loss of my voice & the song I sing

I feel my soul being lostWith it, pleasure being my cost

Life, Hope, Purpose, PerspectiveI find it all subjective

I feel my mind driftingThoughts wander, dreams shifting

I feel my heart being led astrayTo a wasteland of horror far, far away

I see no silver lining in my cloudNo reason to pretend to be proud

No purpose driven life for meOnly a road of sadness, that’s what I see

A life full of emotion

A life filled with commotionA puppet in a wicked play

is how I spend my day

So many moments spentWaiting for the producer to ring my phone

No nine lives of stirring for this KatOne life of rejection is my matt

My arena has never been full as a matter of fact


42

Life In “E” motionEveryone departed after the first act

Where are you in all of this Lord?I feel as if a knight without a swordThere are no footprints in my sand

No protector to take my hand

Always the damsel in distressCinderella at the ball in her ragged dress

There is no prince for me to kissOnly a list of things I miss

When will all this pain end?Although with it gone then who will be my

friend?


42

Life In “E” motionI'm Letting Go

I'm letting go of the notion that I am supposed to not be alone

I'm letting go of the hopes and dreams of you ringing my phone

I'm letting go of the thoughts that you are a good man

I'm letting go of my feelings of with me you would stand

I'm letting go of all of the yesterdays goneI'm letting go of the non touches and the idea of our

own secret moanI'm letting go of moments that I thought we'd hone

I'm letting go of the kisses only we could ownI'm letting go of my want of your shoulder to cry on

I'm letting go of letting my secrets be knownI'm letting go of the affections I've kept

I'm letting go of the nights no longer I sleptI'm letting go of what it is I thought we could be

I'm letting go now of you and of part of meI'm letting go of how smitten I felt

I'm letting go of the pain of your ignoring weltI'm letting go of the empty promises YOU made

I'm letting go now of every minute I stayedI'm letting go with all of my heart

I'm letting go so that I may have a new startI'm letting go of the smile across my face that

would creepI'm letting go of my ideals that would come, as I

would sleepI'm letting go of the anger and frustration I knowI'm letting go of any inkling I thought you would

showI'm letting go now of any and ALL parts of you

I'm letting go because I know not what else to do


42

Life In “E” motionI'm letting go because it's what's right for my spiritI'm letting go even though you may never hear it

I'm letting go NOW, for I know my Mr. Right you are not

I'm letting go because you no longer hit the spotI'm letting go for all those who truly wish they

couldI'm letting go for those who know they should

I'm letting go for the me, myself, and I'sI'm letting go so that I can look myself in the eyes

I'm letting go so that I am happy and freeI'm letting go for my strength, my peace, and my

sanityI'm letting go!!


42

Life In “E” motionIn my mirrorIn my mirror I see

A young woman beyond unhappyA woman crying out for mercy

From the life holding her captive; her tragedyHer deck only holds jokers

As pain floods herHope is what she tries to invoke

But only finds another stab or pokeAnother wound split open

Another person stealing her tokenAs the seasons change

Her life she attempts to rearrangeThe viscous cycle continues

Everyone has his or her viewsNoone steps up to defend you

Forgotten until needed for some venueLost inside

Nowhere to hideNo soul can understand

The trials, desires, needs of this womanThe ache of so many dreams lost

And at what costShe’s allowed herself to sufferAnd now chooses to want more

Still finding what is to be her destiny Still wondering how it is she is blessed to be

Her, the woman of strength she knowsThe proof of courage she shows

Questioning herself pushes her towardThe goals that allow her to face forward

A woman of great integrityA being of proven stability

Allowing noone to douse her fireHer life; a vessel to inspire


42

Life In “E” motionWith every look of reflection And moment of introspection

Is a moment of encouragement?And journey then time well spent

To give praise to the woman who must standAnd give herself a hand

For her ability to still smileAnd overcoming each and every trial

May your light forever shine on the world May you be an inspiration to every young girl


42


Never Settle/Nobody’s Seconds

I am who I am You make up who you are

They may not like itBut they are not the creator

Never allow for relinquished controlNever lose sight of your goal

You know from whom you cameLet it be known you are umpire and referee of the

gameNo one has the right to make you number two

It is yours, you choose what to do Pick up your broken pieces and move on

Before you allow what was left of you to be goneKnow the value of your worth

Place priceless jewels in your birthDeclare it by a scale you createdNever allowing it to be debated

It is up to you to be put first Second goes to the those whom you’ve versed

Reveal to the world what is in your eyes Being whole in yourself is your disguise

You were created by the bestSeek greatness and you will find rest

Reaching ahead for steadfastness is your rewardAll you have is all you areBe all of it never sub par

Truth comes to those who hold trueSettle; be second, the choice is up to you


42

Life In “E” motionNow Is the Time

Now is the timeTo take hold of all that you hold dearDon’t be crippled by naysayers or fearTo little is the time we all haveTo quick are the chances we get to grabPride is not a crimeNot when it comes with accomplishmentOr in moments of time well spentIn knowing it was your creationThe cause of your salvationTake in the sublimeEnjoy the wonder of wondermentRelax in its ever present scentKnow your truth and who you areBe more than a blip on the radarCause your own rhymeGive voice to the rhythm within your soulPick up your ball or let it rollMove with every swingAllow the melody to ring

Blow past every windAcknowledge the vibes you send

Now is your recordRecord a score never before heard Relinquish pain with every wordTake pleasure in every noteFeel another’s interpretation of what you wroteLet go, get on boardCall out to what calls youPlease the pleasure, see it throughAllow your dream (s) to take over and consumeNow not everyone will give you roomGo forth and set yourself freeBlinders off, lights up, it’s you to see


42


The Beauty of Her VoiceMy mother’s laughallowed me to know her craftHer craft of lifeAnd how to overcome strifeThe strength behind each smilehelped me to understand just how fragileThe moments are between mother & childand no matter what they can’t be defiledThey are etched in stonefrom the smallest quiver to the largest toneThere is truth in each choiceand there’s beauty in her voiceA voice of joyous memoriesand of two part harmoniesbetween mother and daughterthat you cannot orderA song shared between these twoWhen there is nothing else left to doWould make the world seem all rightAnd allow for another day of strength to fightThis gift is a blessing the two shared It showed the other how much each caredAs the storm passed over each in songThe bond was sealed, steel…titanium strongHer voice will ring like a melody thru timeThe words of the song will never be just another

rhymeHer mother’s voice with her it will always remainAnd the gift of song will be there to comfort her in

times of pain


42


Love’s KeyLove’s key…

Is all about trustKnowing there is no more me or you

There is just us

Love’s key…Is in it for the long haul

There is no more building up or breaking down the wall

There is being available and always being on callThere is picking up the pieces when you fallThere is giving every part of you, your all

Love’s key…Is knowing when to say when

Preparing for things over and over againCapturing someone who is your friend

Losing yourself now and thenKnowing on him or her you can depend

This human being, this personIs with whom every moment you want to spend

To whom those special notes you send

Love’s key…Is knowing there will be moments of questionMoments of ignoring the other’s suggestion

Understanding the other’s aggressionRelinquishing, moving forward, progression

Savoring this newfound possession

Love’s key…Is hoping beyond hopePraying beyond prayer


42

Life In “E” motionBelieving beyond beliefStrength beyond strength

Faith beyond faith

Love’s key…Is when looking in each other’s eyes you see

A love that could not possibly beMore closely intertwined by the Holy trinity

Beyond time, beyond space, into infinityTwo lives entangled as one destiny

A symphonyComposed, marked, moved by one melody

Love’s keyIs all about truth

It is a walking, breathing, action taken proofOf the love and affection

That two shareAnd though it may not be perfection

It rests with those who first care

Love’s keyIs two hearts to be joined as one

From this day forth A new path forged and future begun


42


The Man of Her DreamsHe is the man she has waited so long forThe man that makes her heart soarShe knows him when his heart he showsWhy he does so one never knowsShe loves her for who she is His is hers and hers is hisHe puts no one before herExcept that of his son or daughterHe is unafraid to slow her affectionAnd knows the best way to offer his objectionHe knows all to well what song to singTo move and compel, oh the tears it will bringHe is there for her when no one else willHe moves for her when everyone else chooses to stand stillThis man knows the Lord and knows His placeThe man never hovers and knows when to give her spaceHis goal is to protect her, keeping her safer yetAdversity and adventure, no greater foe was metNo longer does her heart longFor the chorus to her songHe is the man of her dreamsThe on who placed color back into her schemes


42


The question is

Did I ever have a place in your mind or your heart?Has our “relationship” fallen apart?Do you want to be with me?Or is this your way of setting me free?Why don’t I hear from you?In spite of all the things you have to doDid you ever see a future for you and I?Were you ever willing to try?What made the “relationship” change?Why have you begun to act so strange?Is it me that you wanted to be a part of your life?Or is there someone else you see as your possible wife?What did you mean when you said “let’s make it mutual but not exclusive?”Why is it that with me you have been so elusive?The question is where do we go from here?Because at this point I have nothing to fear


42

Life In “E” motionWhen is...When is a woman seen as who she is and not what she wearsWhen is it that she doesn't receive silent staresWhen is it that she is valued and cared forWhen is a woman not shown the doorWhy are we put on this earthIs it just for whimsical pleasure and to give birthWhy are we so often overlookedEven when every moment of our time is bookedIf we do not fit into this overzealous futureWhy are we written out of the pictureWhen will men recognize how much they are neededAnd their families not be so mistreatedWhen will the men of quality step up to the plateAnd remove all of the clutter and turmoil from the slateHow is it that a person can spend their whole life aloneEven though there are many who ring their phoneWhy is it that every night in bed they cryAnd no one ever cares to question whyWhen is it time to take care of homeAnd not the matters of others and where they roamWhen will our land be our first thoughtAnd those in need not be so distraughtA time has come for a changeWhere priorities we'll need to rearrangeWhere our people feel they are number oneSecurity here is when we know the job is done


42


That I amTo know me

Is to know the woman that I have chosen to beTo love me

Is to love the caring, kindhearted person you seeTo befriend me

Is to be the shoulder in the midst of the painTo defend me

Is to also be that person that shelters again and again

I have seen some of the darker things this world has to offer

I have seen people take so that they can prosperI have known those who have been stepped uponI have watched as they became another's pawn

It has been a long, rough road travelledOften hurt, often grappled

It has been tear filled, gut wrenching


42


Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the

Lord, “plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and

pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me

and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”


42


From

Negro Child

to

Spiritual Woman


42

Life In “E” motionFrom Negro Child to Spiritual

WomanYou don’t know the things I’ve seen

You don’t even know the places I’ve beenYou wouldn’t believe me if I told you

All of the things that I’ve had to go throughI’ve been abducted and forced on shipsOlder men have made me move my hipsI’ve been whipped and thrown to the sea

Until that day that I was set freeThe little Negro child within me

Had earned her first reward; SPIRITUALLYKnowing what her ancestors had known

Gave her strength to have spiritually grownTo know what many families strive for

And how they struggled to open that one doorGiven the gift of a tiny key

That opens so much knowledgeablyTo think of what I thought of as a child How minute’, how mediocre, how mild

I have been on a very long journeyTo set my mind, my body, and my soul freeTo have heard that simple silent summonTo be lead to become a spiritual woman

The Negro Child can be the person writing the poem now or the person in the past speaking

through the writer.

The Spiritual Woman can be one of many things. One, the woman, whose spirit would not let her give

up during the times of slavery. She could be the homeless person who just found her spirituality.

She could be the working single mother. She could be anybody, one in the same.


42


A Mother’s WishMy heart goes out to you

Knowing what you’ll go throughKnowing what you’ll have to endure

That’s why I want to keep your heart pureTo love you all the days of my life

Honoring you as if we were man and wifeI can’t believe how much you’ve grownShowing me things I should have known

To me you are my everlasting flowerTo you I give all my strength and power

Only if I could protect you from all the hurt and pain

From all of the tears and emotional strainTo know that you are my child

Makes the fear forever mildSo I give to you the gift of myself

Hoping that you’ll have abundant wealth But lastly, I give to you my all

And the knowledge of knowing on my name you may call


42

Life In “E” motionA Whisper In The Wind

A whisper in the windIs a whisper in time

A whisper in the windIs a whisper that’s mine

I hear the call of the wild from times pastOf warriors and hunters and cannons blast

A deep inner beast full of hungerAnd the crashes and claps from a distant thunder

A whisper in the wind Is a whisper of life

A whisper in the wind Can be filled with pain or strife

I see the hurt of a young lost boy Over the days of sickness and nights without joyA screaming and dreaming of darkness, no light

And moments of sleeplessness and shrills of fright

A whisper in the wind Is a whisper of tears

A whisper in the windHas the howling of years

I feel the comfort of a mother’s firstborn childThe joy of peace found in its’ smile

Most bountiful splendor as the clock tolls its goodbyeThe compassion, holding her first grandchild and releasing a

sigh

A whisper in the windIs a whisper of hope

A whisper in the windFinds a new scope

I smell the sweet sentiment of a bed of jasmineAnd the gladness of remembrances of when

The youth of days to come, filled these old bonesThe laughter and bliss are now replaced with groans


42

Life In “E” motionA whisper in the wind Is a whisper of faith

A whisper in the windIs filled with great taste

I taste the sweetness and the warmth of a lovers embraceAnd the infatuation of love that comes only from God’s grace

There is a spice of lemon and thyme that does blendWith the memories of delight in the thoughts of a friend

A whisper in the windIs a whisper in time

A whisper in the wind Now ends with this rhyme


42


Beautiful OneLook in the mirrorWhat do you see?A girl just as plain

She is looking back at me

No, no look againLook through these eyesI see a woman, a beauty

With a heart that no one can despise

Ah, yes, my beautiful childHold your head up high

You were made for crowning gloryThere is beauty within you, God’s eyes don’t lie

Why did I not see thisUpon my first look

Because you chose to see Only what others mistook

You are made perfectJust the way you are

More beautiful than the most precious stoneAnd you shine brighter than the brightest star

Beautiful one, most perfectly madeFrom the poise of her feet

To her locks where they’re laid


42


ButterfliesTwo most extraordinary women

A wonderful gift they’ve been givenThe gift is honest and true friendship

Embarking on a lifelong tripA journey of sharing each other’s joy, heartaches,

laughter, and painTo the ordinary person this would be a strain

These butterflies are daily fedBy a rose in the softest color of pink, not red

Deeply rooted in a most powerful rockThe anointing power to never lose its stock

Of strength and encouragement for such beautiesEach one daily performing their God appointed

dutiesThis rock has been cracked and blemished

But the foundation won’t ever diminishIn all its wonder, it is surrounded by fresh grass

With this renewal found, it is bound to lastBy its side, a river can be found

Where joy, calm, and peace aboundBlessed are those who know the meaning, so true

Fortunate are these butterflies, these twoA bond these two will forever shareHandle with care is the only prayer


42


Gift ExchangeBeauty and StrengthBlessings and HonorEncouragement and HopeLove and TrustDefining words of dimension and depthGiving us a greater grasp of understanding selfWe look at ourselves dailyAnd ask have we been judged fairlyThinking of the goodness of GodAnd of the stumbling blocks of the road we trodLooking at you and the way your being does glowBrings great joy to my heart with the love you showTo know the wonderment of God’s absolutenessLet’s us know that as his children we are destined for successWhat a blessing it is to share in that destiny with youThe beauty of the knowledge of sisterhood shared

between we twoGlorifying our Father’s most Holy nameDelighting and encouraging us just the sameMy gift to you comes from the heartAcknowledging the power of the day that

gave us our new startChrist-mass


42

Life In “E” motionGraduation

In a couple of days you will move on from hereAnd we all know you will shed a tear

The one thing we don’t want is for you to fearBecause for you this will be an awesome year

For with God on your side you shall not failSo send all those worries, doubts, and fears straight to

hellIn this cruel world your light shall prevailAnd we are so excited to watch you sail

Out of this life and into your ownThough the road ahead is unknown

You, Gorgeous Lady, are most beautifully and wonderfully made

The path ahead has already been laid

Even though we will miss your presence in this placeWe know your future is filled with grace

Now go forth, you have mountains to moveYou have melodies to make and lives to smooth

You are my confidant, you are my friendAnd with your graduation this does not end

For many days in my heart and mind you’ll spendSo with all my love this message I send

HAPPY GRADUATION DAY, Congrats, Mad LoveKeep in touch

Many prayers and blessings rain on you from aboveAnd I love you so much!!


42


I PressI press into you, oh Lord

Finding strength and truthI press into you, oh Lord

Not needing signs or proofThat you, oh Lord, are LordNone other set above youI press into you, oh Lord

For I know of nothing better to doI find peace in your resting placeAs I press through time and space

I find joy in you dwelling hereAnd comfort in knowing you are near

I press into you, oh LordNot for any simplistic reason

I press into you, oh LordFor this is the season, Our season

The season of physical and spiritual powerFor satan and his minions, we shall devour

I press into you, oh LordFor in you I found my true sword

The sword of the spiritRenewing of life

Pressing through tribulation and strifeI press into you, oh Lord

Knowing now just how much "I need you"I press into you, oh Lord

Surrendering all and committing myself to what you ask of me to do

I PRESS INTO YOU


42


It’s Like MusicInspired by my Isaiah

The rhythm of the beat of the raindrops’ fallAs it cascades from the shy and on to the rooftop

The mastery of time between thunder and lighteningAs they dance to the measure that come between

themThe beauty of the whisper of the whistleling wind

As it moves through every tree and the leaves upon it

There is magic in the way the cloud marches across the sky

As it passes its’ cadence to the next one in sight (to come)

There is music in all of the naturous movementsThere is poise and confidence in every one

The clap of thunderThe performance of light from lightening

The screech of the tornadoThe rhythmic chirp of the bird

The rippling melody of the wave

Oh how wondrous to feel the breath of a waveJust before it washes over you with the songs of the

ocean, sea, or lake

There is peace in all of these musical instrumentsAs God orchestrates each and every one

There should be a listening ear to hear its’ messageAll music should have an ear to hear itAnd find its center from the joy within


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Kisses from HeavenAs I stand at my door

Praising you, giving you gloryMy feet feeling the wet floor

The storm begins its story With each drop of everlasting bliss

The music does beginI feel a touch of Heaven’s kissAnd a love flows from within

A rush of this pure silk As the pools now rush the ground

It pours out like clear milk And the clouds have gathered round

The city is quiet in this mistExcept for those who run from God’s domain

As I reach for another kissNot seeing it just as rain

There is peace and sound no moreAs the trees bend to the wind

There is a thunderous roar and lightening galoreAs the storm doth now begin

Instead of seeing just the darkness fall I see God’s love pouring down

And I hear his loving and gracious callAs His kisses repeatedly fall to the ground


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Life In “E” motionMy Loss

My loss is everythingFrom my faith to the songs I used to sing

My loss is my peaceFrom the comfort I felt to the joy that has seemed to

ceaseI have lived with the knowledge of the unknownI have seen the seed and the blossoms that have

grownThus far all that I have to show

Is there is nothing I seem to know

I have been given a second chanceA chance to restore my serenity

But with a look into that man’s glanceI feel my very being plummet into infinity

He has shown me the pleasure of guiltAllowed me to understand the wall I have built

He is not immune to the intoxication of sinHe is the reason that I feel the downward spiral

begin againI have known this gratification

And sworn not to be in this classification

“My God, my Father, will you not help?”“Yes, my child, when you are willing to help

yourself.I see the road that lies ahead

And it will be cleared when you get up from that bed

Here I am child, arms spread wideWith a consoling touch because it was for you I died

I am here my child, my most beautiful oneI am here to lift you up, restore you, be your guide

For our journey together has only just begun


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Life In “E” motionDon’t you know I felt your heart break, every tear

you cried

My loss is one that is self-afflictedOne that once consumed me to the point that I was

addictedMy loss was to myself, my pity, my pride, and my

shameI don’t want to feel remorse, resentment, remiss

With this newfound truth, I realize I don’t want to play this game

It is my allowing myself to struggle with thisI sit in my God’s presence feeling his grace

With my angel beside me revealing the placeThe place of peace and where I need to be

Because the person in that reflection can not be meI felt so alone and I’ve felt my loss

I would do anything no matter the costTo feel whole again and be relieved of this sin

Failure, victory there is a fine line withinI look at my future in the face of my child

I weep from within and cry aloudThis is not the road that I have chosen for you

Knowing what I know, I know what to doGod my Father cleanse me from the sin I see

And with this cry He came and healed meMy future is brighter now

And there is one thing I knowHe knows my plans, thoughts future and will lead

me in the howAnd I will hold to my Jesus and never let him go


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The Moon’s KissesThe moon kisses me goodnight

Making everything all rightBecause I know joy is renewedAnd hurts of yesterday subdued

There is a glimmer of lightThat shines through my window

The brightness of the nightAnd a newfound love I know

With every new dayPeace comes my way

With every fleck of it’s glowA new face does it show

All of my darkness fades In the gleam of it’s line

No more fakeness, no masqueradeIt’s comfort is all mine

It is as nothing beforeThat I have felt or seen

The beauty of such a refreshing feelingKnowing that when I awake

A fresh breath of grace I shall take


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You AloneYou alone are my refuge and my strength

It is only for you that I would go to any lengthTouching my heart in a way only you could have knownOf the wisdom and knowledge that shows I have grown

You alone are the one on whom I can dependIn you and you only, would I find my most compassionate

friendWhatever test or trial that has come my way

I knew you were right there and had something to sayYou alone have comforted my spirit through and through

When I thought I felt the weight of the world, you showed me you knew

You knew my hurts, my cares, my pain, and my incompleteness

When I yelled and cried and all I saw was darknessYou alone were there to light my path

To calm my spirit of anger, frustration, and wrathYou alone took me and molded me anew

Releasing a new being and giving instructions of what to doYou alone reached into that pit of scorching fire

And in one miraculous swoop quenched my every desireTaking away all of the past and renewing my futureBreathing in all that is Holy, Righteous, and Pure

You alone saw that person so lost in sinSeeing the person, the best that shown within

I say thank you to you and you aloneFor breaking down walls and for the loving kindness you’ve

shownNo one else could ever touch what you’ve done

Or the beauty of the victories you’ve wonYou alone know every fiber of my being

You alone can interpret the words of the songs I singYou alone have shown me the peace that joy does bring

And only you can make my most minute thought transform into anything


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Life In “E” motionI love you

A letter to my husband

I love you For:

Who you are What you are

The things you do And who I am when I’m with you

You make my heart smileYou wipe away each tear

You hold me closeWhen I am filled with fear

You know me bestBetter than all the restI count myself blessed

To find peace in your nest

You loved meWhen I didn’t think there ever could be

A man who could possiblyHave the ability

Or even the capacityTo contain me

You saw right through…beyond the hurtYou fought pass the wall

My heart cried outAnd you answered the call

You and you aloneHave taken me to a place

That I thought would never resideIn this space


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You have given me freedomBlessed me with securityBy speaking the wordsThat said you love me

You I adoreEvery day even more

Because you filled the voidOf a heart thought destroyed

So I give to you this giftOf a simple word or two

That speak just an inklingOf just how much I love you


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When Is It My TurnWhen is it my turn

To learnThe true meaning of love

When can I feelThe thrill

Of a man only desiring meWhen do I see

His gleeOf having me nearWhen shall I know

His showOf wonderous love and affection

When may I have Just half

Of the time of sharing in his companyJust when is it my turn

To learnOf what it feels like to be married


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Life In “E” motionA Dreamer Lost

She walks the road aloneListening to the rhythm and the toneOf every step she has chosen to takeOf each move she decided to makeShe revels in the eeriness of it allAs the sounds of the none too distant past begin to callCalling forth every painful memoryReeling in and taking away all clarity Every hope beginning to disassembleAs her hands begin to trembleWondering what was the significanceWhy was any of it given a second glanceRemembering the seconds of the clock tickRecalling it all made her sickKnowing what has been wasted The life she never tastedThe finances input and nondeductible costThe tears flowed remembering what was lostShe hears his words as if next to her he stoodRecollections of past moments that were goodAspirations to her front, pain at her backShe resolves to press forth in spite of what she will lackHe was right to not want to be thereShe had no knowledge of what it meant to careLost ones should find themselves firstTo this end, she was the worstHer being always poured into othersFriends, lovers, mothers, father, sisters, brothersNo true peace for her could be found Not even when they were gathered roundListening to the rhythm and the toneShe walks the road alone


Life in E_motion_Autobiography Smashwords

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