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4th March 2014, Tuesday is a day that would remain etched in my memory till my last breath. It was a day that taught me a flurry of lessons in life and a whole new way of dealing with life.

I have gone on dates with a lot of my friends all across the world. We have discussed, enjoyed, regaled like crazy. However this was special in many ways. For once I did not have to put on an attitude, I just had to be myself and operate from ground zero.

It all happened when I met my friend’s 8-year-old son a couple of days in our apartment complex. We live in the same society and hence technically we are neighbors. I had gone on a long tour and came back after almost a month on Saturday (1st Mar 2014). I went down to take a stroll on Sunday when I met my friend’s this super smart little boy Chaitanya. He was very happy to see me after a long time and so was I. I stopped by to speak to him.

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HE, SHE & ME 4th March 2014

A Date Unusual

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He gave a childish smile and told me proudly that he had collected close to Rs.2900/- till date. Looking very impressed, I asked him what he would do with that kind of money. His instantaneous response was ‘I would take you out on a treat Murali Uncle”. I asked him where he would take me and he said “Pizza Hut”. (We have a pizza hut joint closer to our apartment complex). I told him how thrilled I was and asked when could we go and his immediate answer was “tomorrow evening sharp at 7.30 Pm”. I told him that I was on. So his response was “So…We have a deal”. I replied in the affirmative.

As I left him, I started wondering as to whether I was addressing a child or a child with an adult sense. The Sincerity of purpose baffled me (Lesson 1). Later I called his mother and shared this incident. She told me that he was very excited and seriously looking forward to the date. When she asked him whether anybody else could accompany, Chaitanya refused flatly saying that it was deal only between him and me. Upon further pushing he apparently agreed to allow his mother and my wife to join, as they were mothers and not kids. He was quite clear that no other kid would join us. The focus was unwavering (Lesson 2). He reiterated by telling me that he would meet me 7.30 Pm sharp.

The next day, he left for school and I went about my work. I got stuck with my work and unfortunately realized that I would not be able to make it that evening by 7.30 Pm. So I decided to call him and seek his approval. I called his mother and asked her to give the phone to him. His first words “Murali Uncle I will be down by 7.30 pm. U will be there right?” I suddenly did not know how to respond, as his Commitment (Lesson 3) was total. With a sense of guilt, I told him that I was stuck in a meeting and that I would not be able to make it. He said, “What time can you come Uncle…I’ll wait”. Absolutely unrelenting Professionalism (Lesson 4). I expressed my inability again that was met with utter disdain. Ultimately some amount of hardcore negotiating made him accept to go the following day. Quite a Tough Customer (lesson 5) this little chap is!

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The following day I called him up on the intercom at 6.30 Am in the morning and reconfirmed the date for the evening. His response “Great Murali Uncle…I am looking forward to it. I am sure you will not disappoint me today”. I was stunned by the Assertive (Lesson 6) nature of his communication. I promised him that we were on at any cost. I spoke to his mother later who told me that he was highly thrilled about my reconfirmation and was even singing songs while taking his shower. (Joy of Achievement-Lesson 7). I came back quite early that evening keeping in mind my special date. I finished off some official work till 7.00 Pm. I went in for a shower and made sure that I became ready so that I can be down by 7.30 Pm sharp. His commitment rubbed off on me (Pygmalion Effect-Lesson 8)

I was down by 7.30 pm and I saw Chaitanya cycling away to glory. I asked him whether my younger daughter, Nikhitha (a year older than him) can join us and he answered in the affirmative. I bragged that I was down exactly at 7.30 pm as promised for which he said he was down by 6.45pm beating me there as well. As Nikhitha joined in, I casually asked Chaitanya whether others could join in and he magnanimously said anybody could come in (Adaptive & Accommodative Characteristics-Lesson 9).

We bid good-bye to the respective mothers and sat in my car. Both Chaitanya and Nikhitha sat in the seat next to the drivers seat while I sat in the drivers seat. Both the kids are chirpy by nature and very enthusiastic as well. We started by switching on some music when Chaithu said that he sometimes gets a headache while listening to music. I asked him whether we should shut it down and his response was “that would be better”. Nikhitha was very keen on music, however she understood the situation and gave a warm smile indicating that we ideally shut off the music (Maturity-Lesson 10)

We kept chatting away and reached Pizza Hut in no time as it is very close to our apartment complex.

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The innocence of the kids blew me of my breath. Nikhitha always is a perfectionist. As I clicked my remote of the car, she walked up to check whether the doors actually got locked in the car. She always wanted to double check. (Reconfirmation – Lesson 11)

We walked into pizza hut. Both the kids were ecstatic as they jumped and trumped into the joint. The place was virtually empty given a weekday. We chose a table. Nikhi and Cahithu on one side and me on the other. I decided that it would be their call and I would be only the facilitator. Chaithu wanted pasta and therefore we decided all of us would binge on pasta. After all he was the boss. We ordered for pasta with apple juice mojito for Nikhi, a pepsi for Chaithu and masala lemonade for me. They had potato wedges and I had garlic bread.

As we were waiting for the dishes, I engaged in a discussion with the kids. Chaithu told me “I never knew I was so clever Murali Uncle”. He was dead right. We had ordered for these dishes on an offer which he suggested. The kids wanted the drinks first and we got them as planned. Each drink had a lemon piece floating on it and Chaithu went berserk in trying to push the lemon piece down the drink while it kept coming up. Relentlessly he pursued putting it down the pit. Nikhi succeeded while Chaithu kept trying. Ultimately he made it too. (Relentless Pursuit-Lesson12). Ultimately our dishes came and we started devouring into them.

Chaithu seriously felt that I should try his Pepsi by sticking the straw into the lime piece. I attempted it and when I expressed that it had a tangy taste, his joy knew no bounds. I had virtually vindicated his stand. (Leadership- Lesson 13)

Once we were done, the kids wanted a pizza and we ordered the same. They could hardly have a piece each by which time they were full. However they were good enough to parcel the balance for the sake of a brother and sister. Genuine motive with no malice whatsoever. (Carrying on for team sake – Lesson 14).

As the bill came, Chaithu was insistent that the money be paid from his purse. I did my best to convince him but he was the boss. Hence no questions. However with some hard bargaining, I paid the bill with a promise that I would allow him to pay the next time around.

Chaithu said “Murali Uncle I am full. I can’t eat anymore. I enjoyed every moment of our date. The same was echoed by Nikhitha as well. (Acknowledgement-Lesson 15). We laughed and giggled our way to glory. The last straw in the camels back was that we rang the bell in turns as our affirmation to the enjoyment we had.

As we started heading to the car for our lap back home, I was distraught that it had ended so fast. Many more to come for sure. The biggest lesson I learnt was that “ The child is certainly the father of the man”

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I was actually spending time with two raw talents who had so much in them. If only we could nurture them. using their strengths, we would have two world-class leaders in the making. My only fear is that the kids should not be subject to man made idiosyncrasies of right & wrong, adherence to certain dominant value systems, which hinder growth and above all hypocrisy.

Thanks Chaithu & Nikhi for a truly memorable experience. It was the best date I had so far. Truly unbeatable by any standards. A date that made me learn so much which I in the capacity of a Leadership Coach and host of others evangelize to corporates and leaders time and again.

SUMMARY OF LESSONS

Lesson 1: Sincerity of Purpose

Lesson 2: Unwavering Focus

Lesson 3: Commitment

Lesson 4: Professionalism

Lesson 5: Dealing with tough Customers

Lesson 6: Assertiveness

Lesson 7: Joy of Achievement

Lesson 8: Pygmalion Effect

Lesson 9: Adaptive & Accommodative

Lesson 10: Maturity

Lesson 11: Reconfirmation

Lesson 12: Relentless Pursuit

Lesson 13: Leadership

Lesson 14: Carrying on for Teams Sake

Lesson 15: Acknowledgement

Leadership Coach & Master Facilitator