COUNSELOR’S CORNER FALL 2015 Issue 1

Counselor’s Corner Fall 2015

Student Counseling Center

Zayed University

Greetings from the Student Affairs Office, Zayed University

I am pleased that the Counselor's Corner newsletter launched its first issue this semester. I would like to sincerely thank Her Excellency Sheikha Lubna Bint Khalid Al Qasimi [President of Zayed University & Minister of Development & International Cooperation] for her continuous support for the establishment of the center. My special appreciation also goes to Prof. Reyadh AlMehaideb [Vice President of Zayed University] for being supportive of this initiative within student affairs. I would like to take this opportunity to note my special thanks to Prof. Marilyn Roberts [Acting Provost, Zayed University] for her support towards building the first steps in establishing the Student Counseling Center.

This newsletter is one of the initiatives of the Student Counseling Center following the President’s Decree No. (10) of 2015, granting approval for the establishment of the center. The goal of our newsletter is to reach out to a large number of students on campus to inform them about our new and exciting activities and the available counseling services. In addition, our goal is to raise awareness regarding the most common mental health issues and academic related

issues that some college students experience while studying at the university, which may interfere in their ability to achieve their academic goals. Another objective is to educate Zayed University community, especially those who are working closely with students, about issues that are relevant to student life on campus so that students are better served.

May I also note my special thanks to the editor, Dr. Shaima Ahammed, the Counselors, my colleagues and students for their contributions to this issue, without their commitment, the goals of this newsletter would not have been achieved. For colleagues and students who would like to contribute to future issues please let us hear from you as we will have an issue toward the end of each semester. Student Counseling Center has many exciting programs and services as well as initiatives for this academic year. The mental Health Awareness Day and Depression Awareness Day were just examples of successful programs offered last semester. As we are establishing the Student Counseling Center, we will be grateful for your involvement in the planning and delivery of some of the services offered by the center.

Dr. Fatima Al-Darmaki Assistant Provost for Student Affairs Email - fatima.aldarmaki@zu.ac.ae

Happy Fall 2015 everyone! Welcome to the Student Counseling Center, ZU. We hope this newsletter finds you enjoying a positive start to the new semester. I am honored to have this opportunity to edit the first issue of ‘Counselor’s Corner’, a publication we hope will capture the energy and enthusiasm of all of us at the Center as we reach out to the ZU student community with the mission of ensuring students’ wellness & personal growth while also supporting you in realizing your educational & career goals.

With this newsletter, our goal is to inform you of the vital role that the Student Counseling Center plays in fostering personal growth and wellbeing. We also look forward to provide you with information about our services and programs, our accomplishments, articles on different mental health topics, news from the community as well as our counselors’ recommendations for a positive and healthy life style. We hope this first issue and those to come will inspire you to become involved with the Center and know more about us and our services.

We thank you for taking time to read through this issue, and we invite you to participate actively in all our future endeavors by sharing with us your ideas, questions, accomplishments, experiences, creativity and anything at all that can be an inspiration or motivation for others. We also welcome your

Greetings from the Editor A Message from Dr. Fatima AlDarmaki

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articles, essays, poems, stories and experiences in the university of coping, understanding, overcoming challenging and trying times, etc all of which may be an inspiration to a reader. We wish you a great semester ahead !

Dr. Shaima Ahammed Senior Consultant, Student Counseling Center

Meet our Counselor

Ms. Haneen Shalash Licensed Professional Counselor

Student Counseling Center; Abu Dhabi

COUNSELING MY PASSION & MY INSPIRATION

Hello, My name is Haneen Shalash. I am a counselor at Zayed University. My inspiration for counseling comes from the fact that I am a people’s person. I enjoy being with people of all ages, especially adolescents and adults. They have remarkable energy that gives me strength to keep moving. Being a good listener, problem solver, and a natural optimist at heart, I knew after I finished my summer internship at a youth center that I wanted to be a counselor. More so, my own struggles in life led me to believe that every problem has a solution. Talking to a sister, a friend or a parent is certainly heart-warming and effective, however, talking to a counselor, a compassionate, non-judgmental person who is there for the sole purpose of helping you understand your problem and make sense of thoughts moving in many directions, is of a greater resource. When working with students, understanding the problem is the most important component to assessing their needs. As a student walks into my office with their problems related to difficulty adjusting to a stressful life event, a loss of a loved one, an important relationship that has ended, filled with feelings of hope, shame, guilt and anger, they walk out with a sense of relief, clarity, ease, peacefulness, and the motivation to continue their journey as they follow the ray of light that enters into their dark

tunnel. Listening to their stories by redirecting their thoughts to see beyond the barriers and obstacles that they present gives me a personal fulfillment to go above and beyond my normal day-to-day tasks that are required of me as a counselor. I believe a key piece in counseling is resiliency especially when working with the student population. Whether they’re dealing with an academic or personal struggle, teaching them to become more optimistic through focusing on the positives and helping them channel that towards becoming more resilient so they get through difficult things in life. One success story after another, I look forward to coming to work every day to attend to students’ concerns and help discover their strength and solutions that are often within themselves. A quick phone call from a student to say “Thank you so much for helping me, I pray for you every day because you’ve touched my life” is something so heartwarming and incredibly rewarding itself.

Meet our Counselor

Mr. Husam AbdulKhaleq Licensed Professional Counselor

Student Counseling Center; Abu Dhabi

TURNING POINTS IN MY CAREER AS A COUNSELOR

Often times when I introduce myself as a counselor, I'm met with lots of curious questions about counseling and the conversation usually gets into turning points or influences in my career as a counselor or skills that make me a successful counselor. I believe if I share some of my experiences here it might benefit readers especially students to get the right perspective about ‘counseling’.

I’ve had several turning points during the course of my career, but to list all of those would be too lengthy. So, I'll narrow it down to two experiences that was critical to my identity and success as a counselor. As I look back at my career journey I realize these experiences have led me to realize that there are two critical factors that makes one a successful

counselor – 1. counselors ability to be open to new experiences and 2. willingness to change.

I think I got my first insight about counseling way back in 1997 during one of my classes at the University of Tennessee. Although my professor Dr. Robert Erik had emphasized that “Listen, Listen, and Listen” was the basics of counseling, I experienced the truth of it in my practice sessions. I realized how empowering and change driving I could be to all of my clients when I practiced non –judgmental listening. All of my counseling skills or attributes are built on this basic skill of non-judgmental listening and that includes: a) interpersonal skills for establishing positive emotional bonds with clients (these include active listening, the ability to experience and communicate effectively— as Carl Rogers would say — empathic understanding), and unconditional positive regard and respect to clients regardless of their backgrounds, identity and values; b) skills for collaboratively formulating counseling goals with clients; c) the ability to assist clients to move forward with change : and d) skills for working with clients on specific in-session counseling activities and techniques such as relaxation or mindfulness, respectful confrontation, positive and negative feedback, and acceptance and management of client reluctance or ambivalence.

The second most defining moment was in 2001 soon after my training in rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) at the Albert Ellis Institute. With the training, I had discovered a good framework on how to utilize REBT with my clients. I learned that REBT emphasizes thinking, judging, deciding, analyzing, and finally doing. The framework that cognitions, emotions, and behaviors interact significantly and have a reciprocal cause and effect relationship had given me a solid theoretical base to work successfully with many clients, particularly the trauma survivors. Before my REBT training, I had often found myself searching for techniques to use with my clients. After the training, however, I had a solid conceptual framework and theoretical foundation to work from, which helped me to better understand and help my clients. I learned that one of the practical aspects of REBT is that it can be integrated into just about any approaches or perspectives in counseling.

My experiences in counseling have led me to believe that there are three fundamental elements that make one a successful counselor - first is the importance of diving deeply into a few preferred theories to build a solid theoretical foundation. Once the counselor identifies with a strong theoretical framework, he/she can integrate concepts and techniques

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from other theories to develop the flexibility to be what is called “technically eclectic,” while still having a good theoretical foundation. Second, is the ability to listen non-judgmentally and be open minded to the client’s feedback so that he/she appreciates the client’s responses to therapy. Third, is the ability to adapt and tailor one’s approach to each particular client rather than trying to rigorously fit the clients into the counselor’s pre-fixed approach.

Successful and experienced counselors have a wide variety of attributes and skills. This is due to their expanded and resourceful experiential repertoire that is a resultant of meeting clients with unique and different problems. To be there, one has to Practice, Practice and Practice ! and be mindful of the fact that different people respond to different interventions. A competent counselor is also one who is deeply and authentically interested in the welfare of others, able to communicate effectively with clients from diverse cultural and individual backgrounds, able to be nonjudgmental, and knowledgeable of empirically supported or evidence-based approaches.

I’ld like to summarize by reiterating what most counselors already know – the oft quoted saying that change is the only constant in life - People have the capacity to change their cognitive, emotive, and behavioral processes, they can exercise their will to choose or react differently from their usual patterns, refuse to allow themselves to become upset, and train themselves so that they can eventually remain minimally disturbed for the rest of their life. Counseling is the art of facilitating this change. A successful counselor is one who can help facilitate desirable changes for their clients.

Meet our Counselor

Ms. Hind AlRustamani Licensed Professional Counselor

Student Counseling Center; Dubai

PASSIONATE FOR COUNSELING

Counseling has been a great passion for me. I always had the desire to help individuals and their families when I see them struggling with certain issues in life. Many times I was told that I am a good listener, non-judgmental, and also accepting people the way they are, even when they talk about certain behaviors that they are not happy with. These comments encouraged me to look into my life and choose to make helping people as a career; to be a counselor.

Helping people professionally builds up a relationship between a counselor and a client in an empathic, congruent way that makes the client feel safe and secured to express their problems, become empowered to face and cope with their life issues, and maintain a healthy life.

I was fortunate to start my career in a multinational community in Geneva, working closely with families in transition facing the changes of country and culture, dealing with individuals in three languages. I was also very fortunate to work in Zayed University for the last two years as a Senior Student Counselor and I am happy that I have been part of a strong team that can help the students and accompany them through their academic journey. Students came to me with many challenges either academic or personal. They were brave enough to experience counseling and see the outcomes. I had students telling me that counseling helped them to improve their way to study, others were happy to manage their time and be more productive. Some students were exploring their personal growth and development to lead and achieve

a successful life. Here are some of the comments I heard: “I never dreamt of having A in my grades”, “I did not know that I can present my project with such high self-confidence”, “I have improved my communication with my mother and we became best friends”. My message to ZU students: We are here to support you and guide you through your academic journey in ZU.

“When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me”

Carl R. Rogers

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Meet our Counselor

Ms. Joan Abdalla Licensed Professional Counselor

Student Counseling Center; Dubai

COUNSELING:

MY REWARDING & FULFILLING CAREER.

Hi, I would like to introduce myself. My name is

Joan Abdallah and I am the new Senior Student

Counselor in the Student Affairs department

here at Zayed University. I come from Northern

California, but I have lived in Dubai for the past

25 years. I am currently a UAE National and my

husband is also a UAE National. I have three

grown children, two daughters and one son. I

have a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work

and I have been a therapist for many years. I

have worked in high schools here in Dubai and I

also worked and taught Psychology and

Sociology in another university. I have always

been passionate about helping others,

particularly people with issues regarding

improving the quality of their lives. I started as

early as grade eight, volunteering to work with

patients who suffered from special issues. I

received my undergraduate degree in Behavioral

Psychology from the University of the Pacific in

California and received my Master’s Degree in

Clinical Social Work with an emphasis in Mental

Health from California State University in

Sacramento. I have been working in the field for

the past 32 years and have loved every minute of

it. I am not all work related though, I love

cooking, travelling and love watching sports

particularly tennis and basketball. I would love

to get to know you and would love to see you

pass by my office, in in Student Affairs. I hope

that I can have the opportunity to help in some

way.

President’s Decree on the Establishment of the Student Counseling Center

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Prof. Glenn Good’s Visit to the Center Prof. Glenn Good [Dean of Education, University of Florida] visited the center as an external consultant to review our services as well as to

assess the scope and potential relevance of a Student Counseling Center in ZU.

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Meet Our Student Volunteers Aysha Alkindi [201100139] ; Noura Saeed [201110506]; Mariam Al-Shamsi [201106297 ]; Shaima Abdullah [201016013]

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Self-Assessment – i.e doing a realistic appraisal of yourself is the first step in planning your career. It doesn’t tell you what to do but it does help you have a better understanding of your Motivations, Skills, Values and Personality which are essential in making well informed career decisions.

Motivations – this is probably the most important factor for long term career satisfaction. Find a job that motivates you and you have the found the right career.

Motivation covers a wide range of topics, such as:

Your Interests What gives you that ‘Sense of

Achievement’ The fit between your personality

and chosen career

Skills – Having the right skill set is the key that opens the door to many careers. The skills you acquire are the result of:

Your innate ability or aptitude Developed by the training you

receive

Values – these are the standards or principals of behavior that you live by and may include:

The lifestyle you want Your beliefs, religion and ethical

guidelines The type of organization or people

you want to work for The product or service you want to

contribute towards

Constraints – these are barriers that you need to consider when selecting your career area such as:

Financial Commitment or Limitations

The geographical location where you can work

Family Responsibilities Your qualifications and education

Ambition – What are your long term goals, these may include:

When you want to settle down and get married and have a family

Whether you want a single job for the rest of your life or you would like the option to change career

Do you eventually want to set up your own business or move up the promotion ladder inside a large organization

Opportunities – you need to be realistic in your choice as there needs to be opportunities available for you to pursue, you can do research through actions such as:

Responding to Job Advertisements for jobs or further training

Unsolicited Approaches to organizations to see if they have any vacancies

Networking through people you know to get referrals

Creating your own business

This may sound like a big task but there are many resources to help you start your career journey.

Taking a few self-assessment tests can give you a good starting point for further research and discussion on particular careers areas and helps you narrow down your options

Type Focus – Success through Self-Assessment http://careers.type.com

I want to be…….. http://www.mynextmove.org

Holland Self Directed Search – http://www.self-directed-search.com

Make an appointment with your Career Counselor to discuss your career planning

MEET MS. JANE TATTERTON

Ms. Jane Tatterton has been a Career Guidance Practitioner and Manager for over 20 years, working in several UK & UAE Higher Education Institutions where she led the development of innovative career development programs and services

If you have any questions related to your career development, please contact Jane at Jane.Tatterton@zu.ac.ae

What Career is Right for Me? Ms. Jane Tatterton, MA, PgDip CCG, BA (hons); Career Counselor, ZU

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Justin Thomas PhD. CPsychol

There’s a thin line between genius and insanity, there is an even thinner one between teaching and psychotherapy. At no point in the year is this boundary more blurred than during exam week. As the examination period approaches many students are filled with anxiety, the mother of terrible triplets known as: worry, fear and procrastination. By the time it’s all over, disappointment, dysphoria and despair will dominate the minds of an unfortunate few. The Arabic word for an exam – imtihan – is related to words such as mihna, meaning distress, ordeal or tribulation.

The emotionality of academic exams fits well with traditional psychological models of common mental health problems. Anxiety is excessive concern about possible future loss, while depression is excessive focus on past losses, real or imagined. If I perform poorly, I may never get into med school. I used to be top-of-the class, now I’m just average.

The spike in anxiety levels at Zayed University around exam time is palpable. Tables in the cafeteria are strewn with lipstick stained energy drinks, the coffee shops are packed, and the temporary scars of sleeplessness are much in evidence. Even those who are usually "way too cool for school", begin probing nervously for information: “will Freud be on the exam?” And my personal favorite: “will it be difficult or easy?”

The day of the Exam is characterized by mass attendance, perhaps for the first time since the start of term no one is absent. And this is one of the few occasions, when the entire class arrives before the teacher. Desks are piled high with last minute revision materials, and the atmosphere is pregnant with the twin sisters of fear and hope. As the door closes behind me, each face simultaneously registers an apprehensive appreciation that "the moment of truth" has arrived.

Beyond Zayed University, similar scenes are played out the world over. Most students experience pre-exam nerves, and for a vast majority it is not a problem. For some, it might even give them the competitive edge. These are the students who are consistently able to convert anxious concerns into well-planned study regimes. Their anxiety fuels a

thoughtful, careful performance, rather than giving rise to blind panic and self-doubt.

Unfortunately, there are others whose anxiety and worry has assumed problematic proportions. For them anxiety impedes concentration, interferes with sleep, and gives rise physical complaints: headaches, muscle tension, and stomach upsets. Ultimately, their anxiety takes its toll on academic performance.

In addition to the performance degrading aspects of anxiety in an exam situation, there are also other, more general, negative consequences. At the heart of problem anxiety is a tendency to be highly intolerant of uncertainty, and the specific outcome of any assessment is always fairly uncertain. The overly anxious often go to great lengths to minimize uncertainty: over preparing, procrastinating, reassurance seeking, obsessively checking and re-answering questions. However, despite their best efforts, uncertainty can never be totally eliminated and the window for worry is always slightly ajar. One highly problematic uncertainty avoidance strategy is to choose to fail, just quit, and be secure in the guarantee of an F. Another massively dysfunctional strategy is to cheat. The answer however lies in cultivating a tolerance, or even an appreciation of uncertainty.

As teacher working in higher education, I believe a key 21st century skill is to be able to help students overcome such problems. Or better still, prevent them falling into patterns of excessive and unhelpful worry in the first place. The role of the educator is changing; the Internet and other emerging technologies are expediting this transformation. “Google is my advisor and Wikipedia my professor”, wrote one student in an essay on education. She was drawing attention to the fact that the day of the all-knowing sage of the stage is over. Educators in the information age, still need to know their stuff, but the ability to help students better manage emotions, and enhance their motivational levels are increasingly important. The line between teaching and psychotherapy is now narrower; wafer-thin to non-existent.

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Dear Students

A certain level of anxiety during exams and tests can be beneficial and adaptive, as it can help you remain motivated, focus attention and block-out distractions. However, helpful anxiety tends to be short-term, focused only on the immediate cause and is of mild to moderate intensity. If it is long-term or constant then it is problematic. At the Student Counseling Center, we can help you find the appropriate solutions based on the intensity and kind of anxiety you or experiencing. All you have to do is to give us a call.

Student Counseling Center, ZU

Exam Time: Learn to Love Uncertainty

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Educators are puzzled with some questions that may, sometimes, seem basic: How do students learn? What is the purpose of education? What is the impact of the society and culture on the quality of education? What are good teaching styles? How to motivate students? To which extent should technology be implemented in classrooms? To which extent do moral, physical, emotional and development aspects affect the learning experience of students? How to prevent or mitigate the negative impact of the many problems faced by students? To respond to these pressing questions, among others, the counseling profession in educational instutions was crystallized. Counseling services in educational institutions started off in the twentieth century as a complementary service to reconcile the issues of teaching. It did, however, develop rapidly to be a crucial service with key responsibilities. When offerred in educational settings counseling attempts to solve teaching issues and help educate students, primarily through the concept of comprehensive, developmental, results-based programs that focus on the three domains of academic achievement, personal and social development, and career planning.

University counselors help students increase their sense of well-being and reduce their subjective sense of discomfort. This can be achieved through exchange of opinions and ideas as well as consultation and guidance. University counselors also help students plan their academic program. They advise them about transferring to the university, admission, and degree requirements. They could even help parents take decision with their children about their future. University counselors work with students to objectively be aware of their weaknesses as well as their strengths. They also create positive motivation towards learning and

achievements. They deal with obstacles that act as a barrier between instructors or instructions and the students.

The decision to seek counseling is personal and should be made with the confidence that students will be receiving expert, professional care. However, there has been evidence of a positive relationship between students and school counseling programs. Studies demonstrate that student counseling resulted in a better record of school attendance. Students’ behaviors, self-confidence, attitudes toward school and education, in addition to academic achievements have also improved with counseling (Beale, 2004; Schmidt, 2003). It has been also reported that counseling influenced the following:

Improved self-reported grades, Prepared students better for their

future, (c)Enhanced information on job

opportunities, Enhanced generally school climate.

Overall, student counseling is an inevitable service at schools and universities. It should be, however, strictly confidential so that students built better trust, visit counselors

more often, and thus improve their educational life.

This contribution is based on findings from the following research articles-

Beale, A.V. (2004). Questioning whether you have a contemporary school counseling program. The Clearing House, 78(2), 73-76.

Schmidt, J.J. (2003). Counseling in the schools: Essential services and comprehensive programs (4th ed.). Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Lapan, R.T., Gysbers, N.C., & Petroski, G.F. (2001). Helping seventh graders be safe and successful: A statewide study of the impact of comprehensive guidance and counseling programs. Professional School Counseling, 6(3), 186-198.

Lapan, R.T., Gysbers, N.C., & Sun, Y. (1997). The impact of more fully implemented guidance programs on the school experiences of high school students: A

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Dear Students,

Life is with challenges – we know it too well, don’t we ? And, perhaps this is one of those phases in your life when resolving problems at the right time can be critical to your educational and career success. Remember, we are at the university to help you resolve problems before it starts interfering with your success at the university. Always make counseling services your choice if you are experiencing any challenges and concerns that may affect your wellbeing and success at the university. Professional counseling is one of the services available to you as a ZU student, so take advantage of your resources.

Student Counseling Center, ZU.

Counseling and Students’ Achievements Dr. Fares M. Howari and Dr. Alya A. Arabi

Natural Science and Public Health Department College of Sustainability Sciences & Humanities

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Workshops & Outreach Programs

Spring 2015

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Workshops & Outreach Programs

Spring 2015

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Having spent three and half years teaching psychology and education courses at Zayed University, and recently having moved to the Abu Dhabi campus, I am often faced with the question that intrigues everyone’s mind, ‘how are the two campuses different, Fiza?’ I find it rather challenging to respond to such a question, as the perception of differences is not as significant as the similarities that I have observed. There are more common threads that weave the student body across the university, irrespective of location, and one such string is the flurry of students that come to my office every semester seeking individual counseling and support, even though I am not a counselor or have expertise in this particular arena of psychology. Students have brought several very personal issues and incidents disturbing their mental peace and well-being including, parental problems, managing children, marital conflicts with spouse, pre-marriage selection of spouse, physical and sexual abuse during childhood, break-up of close friendships, health problems, grief of death in the family, and many more. I have listened empathetically for hours end on after which recommendations to seek off-campus counseling services have been made.

ZU is a dynamic platform of positive change and I am very pleased to see the birth of the Student Counseling Center, now housed within the campus itself. I sincerely hope that students will take advantage of such services within the convenience of the university premises and realize the importance of its purpose in facilitating well-being amongst the student body.

“We Sure Want to Listen to You & Help You…. But Now You Also Have the Student Counseling Center”

Ms. Fiza Hameed, Psychology Faculty Instructor, Zayed University, Abu Dhabi

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Question 1- I’m a first year student at university, and I need some guidance towards deciding on a major. When choosing a major, should you follow your head or follow your heart? And what is the best strategy? Thinking about my major is stressing me out in many ways ( university/ family/ friends) anonymous ?

Dear Anonymous Firstly, thank you for the question and I am sure you are not the only first year student that is struggling with your Major choice but well done you have taken the first important step in planning your career by reaching out and asking the right questions. Secondly, and I know it is easier to say than do but don’t get stressed out about it…In making a choice there are six important consideration to keep in your mind as you sort through and evaluate the information you collect, this will result in an informed choice of both your head (Interests, Abilities, Motivations and Realities) and your heart (Values, Personality)

Think about Your Interests – What do you enjoy? Think about Your Abilities – What are you good at? Think about Your Values – What is important to you? Think about Your Personality – Your emotions, behavior and

attitudes Think about your Motivations – What factors drive you

towards your Major Choice? Think about the Realities – Are your decisions informed and

realistic

Once you answered questions similar to those above, you will start to have more of an idea about Yourself. Come and talk with your Career Counselor who can assist you in this process and in making a well informed and realistic Major Choice. Jane Tatterton Manager, Student Careers and Alumni Affairs Abu Dhabi Campus Jane.tatterton@zu.ac.ae

Question 2- My friends have a great impact on the way that I take my decisions. And I try so hard to not to listen to their opinions. I have many arguments with them when I don’t listen to them. At times I feel that they are controlling my life. I tried so hard to change this aspect in me (listening to their opinions) but at the same time I don’t want to lose them. I need advice on how can I deal with such situations. S.Z

Dear S.Z,

First 0f all, it’s good that you know where your problem is stemming from. I understand your dilemma of wanting to value your relationship with your friends but without allowing them to control your life and make decisions for you. Your fear of losing your friends is holding you back from being self-reliant and assertive when you really have to. But, S.Z – isn’t your fear irrational ?. If your ‘friends’ were to leave you just because you are assertive and independent in making your own decisions and making sure not to be influenced by them, then they weren't your friends in the first place. So, you've lost nothing even if your fears turned out to be true - because you know that you've done nothing wrong to alienate your friends or break their trust with you.

Having said that, a possibility is that this could also be ‘your’ baseless fear. So, some self-reflection is needed here and you may also want to meet new people and enjoy friendships with other like-minded students. Also, have you tried to communicate with your friends to let them know how you feel? Perhaps start by thanking them and showing appreciation for their help with your problems and for listening to you ?. At the same time, let them know that you will be your own decision maker. It is up to them whether they will accept it or not. I’ld like to stop with one of my favorite quotes from Kahlil Gibran and I hope that you’ll find the meaning for yourself when reflecting on this verse. “Let there be spaces in your togetherness … and let the winds of the heavens dance between you…”.

Dr. Shaima Ahammed Student Counseling Center [With inputs from Ms. Haneen Shalash]

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Ask the Counselor is a regular column in the Counselor’s Corner newsletter. All questions we receive will be send to our counselors who can give you expert advises on a range of topics. They will respond to your thoughts and concerns while making sure that confidentiality will be maintained. Remember, by sending us a question you may be helping a lot of other students going through similar issues and concerns . Send your questions for this column to- shaima.ahammed@zu.ac.ae; counseling@zu.ac.ae Visit us at - http://www.zu.ac.ae/main/en/counseling/welcome.aspx to learn more about our services and program

“Ask the Counselor”

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MAKE YOUR SEMESTER SUCCESFUL WITH THE RIGHT START !!!

Welcome back! Summer holidays are over and now back to campus - to see old friends, make new ones, meet new teachers, new courses .. there is so much to look forward to and yes … not to forget the anxiety and eagerness to do well in your courses. Whether you are a new student or a returning/current student you may be looking ahead with a bit of both anticipation and excitement. We want to tell you that there are some things to do right, right at the beginning of a semester to guarantee a smooth adjustment and easy semester. Be Engaged in the Campus! University is not just about education, courses, academics and career. It is also about learning from and making the most of your university experience. So, join a club, volunteer at the different units, try student employment if you can manage it along with your studies, join classes to learn a new skill if you can afford the time, write for newsletters …. the opportunities on ZU campus are plenty. Take note of email announcements/ posters of activities/programs on campus and make sure you don’t miss any opportunity that will be part of your university experience. If you are worried that too much of activities will affect your grades then take it easy and keep your engagement minimal or to only what is needed to keep you relaxed.. When students meet us to say good-bye after graduation, one of the common regrets they tell us is that they were not engaged with the campus as much as they could have. Meet your Professors and Counselors! Professors and instructors are busy, but, yes.. they also like to talk with their students – that is why they are here. At the counseling center, we greatly value whenever a student makes an effort to come and say Hi to us - it means a lot to us. As counselors and teachers, we know that when students need help and support, they don’t right away ask for help. So, we’ll always make sure that we give you the space and time to share and explore your difficulties and challenges at your own pace. Do visit us at the Counseling Center..

Be Aspiring but Make sure Your Goals are Realistic too! We live in a very competitive and achievement-oriented world. Success and achievement is important but there is more to life. Don’t let the world’s obsession with “winning” stress you out and make you over-ambitious . Take time for self-reflection, have a dialogue with yourself, see what you really need from life and then it becomes easy for you to set realistic, achievable goals and determine what you really want and can accomplish this semester. If you are in doubt and cannot come up with answers, come talk to one of our counselors .. we might be able to help you think clear. Make sure you spend some time in solitude every day, write down your goals somewhere noticeable, so that you can be reminded yourself daily of what you want from life.

Plan Ahead! We know university can be stressful and fast-paced, especially during exams and end of semester. However, we also know that many students are well prepared for this right from the beginning of the semester - they have a well-thought of plan, a time table for the whole semester, priorities set right and can see ahead of time and be prepared for deadlines and exams. When it comes to studying for exams– remember, memory works best when there is enough time for consolidation. The brain tends to absorb and retrieve information easily when it is learned continuously and gradually rather than crammed in at the 11

th hour..

And finally.. Take Care of Yourself ! Taking care of yourself is an important skill to learn and one that many students just ignore. Remember, nothing is more precious than your physical and psychological health. When you are overcome by stress, you tend to engage in those behaviors with which you’ve learned to cope – not all of these are healthy – many of those unhealthy patterns of coping don’t even seem to be risky or problematic – like say too many coffees, sugar snacks, chocolate, sleepless nights, avoiding food or indulging in food etc – the list is endless. Making sure you get enough sleep every night, eating right, and spending some time with family and friends are important steps in staying physically and psychologically healthy. From the Counseling center, we organize workshops from time to time and we hope you can attend those sessions to learn more about how to take care of yourself. Wish you a Very Fulfilling and Pleasant Semester Dr. Shaima Ahammed Student Counseling Center

We Look Forward to Hear from You. Write to us at Counseling@zu.ac.ae or Shaima.Ahammed@zu.ac.ae

COUNSELOR’S CORNER FALL 2015 | Issue 1 15

EVENT CALENDAR

We organize, host and participate in a number of campus events throughout the academic year as part of our outreach efforts to raise awareness regarding a particular mental health or wellness topic, all of which are listed here. We look forward to see you at these programs and strongly encourage you to come to the Center to discuss or ask for more resources on the featured topic. Student participation in awareness-raising initiatives is something we greatly value and appreciate and any suggestions/initiatives are most welcome. You can also contact us to come speak in your class about these or any particular topic concerning personal growth or psychological distress. Please note that event locations/dates mentioned below are subject to change. We recommend that you check the Student Affairs link on ZU online Calendar to ensure that you have the most up-to-date information.

# Event Name Venue Date

1 Adjustment to University Life

DXB

&

AUH Campus

2nd Week - SEP

2 Self-Care Workshops AUH Campus Bimonthly

3.

Movie with the Counselor

DXB

&

AUH Campus

Monthly

4. Between Perfectionism and Procrastination DXB Campus

1st Week

Oct

5.

World Mental Health Day – 2015

DXB

&

AUH Campus

2nd Week

Oct

6

Parent Awareness of Counseling Services

DXB

&

AUH Campus

3rd Week

Oct

7 Eating Disorder Awareness

DXB

&

AUH Campus

4th Week

Oct

8 Drug Abuse Awareness Week – NRC

DXB

&

AUH Campus

1st Week

Nov

9

Parenting Skills

DXB

&

AUH Campus

4th

Week

Nov

10.

How to develop your own Emotional Resilience

DXB

Campus

1st Week

Dec

11

Body Image & Self Esteem

DXB

&

AUH Campus

2nd Week

Dec

12

Is Shyness Hindering your Classroom

Performance & Academic Performance

DXB

&

AUH Campus

3rd Week

Dec

13.

Mindfulness

DXB

Campus

4th Week Dec

14

Student Personal Growth Workshops

DXB

Campus

1st Week

Jan