Is the voice appropriate for the topic and audience?

Does the speech have a persuasive effect?

Do not use I, you, me, we, us (except in quotes or at the call to action)

See page 37 of the Writer’s Guide for attention getters.

Examples: New York Times journalist Mary Pilon’s research states,

“As a 12-year-old seventh grader, Glenn and Kathy Kiederer’s older daughter wanted to play sports at Delaware Valley Middle School. She also wanted to join the scrapbooking club. One day she took home a permission slip. It said that to participate in the club or sport, she would have to consent to drug testing.”

More and more students are becoming attracted to substances that are threatening their life, safety and future.

Does your section on background information cover the following: What is the issue? Who is involved in the issue

(stakeholders) and what do they want? Why is this issue important? Hint: Your bridge for the pro introduction should have

been neutral information about both sides, so you should be able to write the same thing for your con introduction.

Example: In the last twenty years, there has been growing

dispute over the issue of student drug testing. There are school administrators, teachers and parents supporting both sides of the issue. Some believe that schools conducting random drug testing will reduce the number of students who abuse drugs. Opponents to random drug testing say that drug testing violates fourth amendment privacy rights of students. The outcome of this debate impacts all schools in America.

Option 1: Option 1: Schools should not Schools should not be allowed to conduct random be allowed to conduct random student drug tests because it student drug tests because it supported by the Fourth supported by the Fourth Amendment of the Amendment of the Constitution, democratic Constitution, democratic ideals, and a balance of ideals, and a balance of individual rights and common individual rights and common good.good.

Option 2: Option 2: Students should be Students should be able to refuse to take a school able to refuse to take a school drug test because it is drug test because it is supported the by the Fourth supported the by the Fourth Amendment of Constitution, Amendment of Constitution, democratic ideals, and democratic ideals, and individual rights. Schools individual rights. Schools should not be allowed to should not be allowed to require student drug testing require student drug testing without probable cause.without probable cause.

Should students have the Should students have the choice to refuse a drug choice to refuse a drug test?test?

Student drug testing is Student drug testing is bad. bad.

NoNoYesYes

Remember you two options: Remember you two options: • combining your subtopics combining your subtopics into the thesis into the thesis • stating the subtopics stating the subtopics individually and then ending individually and then ending with a concise position with a concise position statement on the issue. statement on the issue.

Students have a right to refuse school drug testing. You can raise support to protect the privacy of your body by writing a letter to your district superintendent and school board members explaining that students do not want the potential for losing this individual freedom.

Vote to end drug testing.

Do you call people to act by demanding change of the law or do you encourage authorities to maintain status quo?

Does this “call to action” give specific action steps the audience can do for change or maintaining status quo?

YesYes NoNo

Constitutional Interpretation

To begin, the Fourth To begin, the Fourth Amendment of the Amendment of the Constitution supports Constitution supports allowing students the allowing students the right to refuse to right to refuse to take the school drug take the school drug test. test.

TThe nation was he nation was founded on the founded on the Constitution and it Constitution and it should be followed should be followed today. today. (Too vague)(Too vague)

YesYes NoNo

• Does this clearly connect the subtopic (constitutional Does this clearly connect the subtopic (constitutional interpretations) to the thesis/position of the paper (right to interpretations) to the thesis/position of the paper (right to refuse a school drug test? refuse a school drug test?

• Transitional phrase? Transitional phrase?

The language of the The language of the Fourth Amendment says Fourth Amendment says “The right of the people to “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, be secure in their persons, houses, papers and houses, papers and effects against effects against unreasonable searches unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be and seizures, shall not be violated...” Lindsey Earls violated...” Lindsey Earls believed her school was believed her school was violating her privacy violating her privacy through student drug through student drug tests and brought the tests and brought the case to court. Although case to court. Although the Supreme Court ruled the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the school in favor of the school district, four of the nine district, four of the nine judges sided with Ms. judges sided with Ms. Earls in the case Board of Earls in the case Board of Education v. Earls.Education v. Earls.

Nothing between topic sentence and the quote.

The fourth amendment give people the right to privacy. (Too vague, missing background on court case)

YesYes NoNo

• Do I identify the specific part of the constitution that my expert will reference in the quote?

Linda Greenhouse quoted Linda Greenhouse quoted Justice Ginsberg dissenting Justice Ginsberg dissenting opinion saying, “[In the opinion saying, “[In the 1995 Vernonia case] the 1995 Vernonia case] the court "concluded that a court "concluded that a public school district facing public school district facing a disruptive and explosive a disruptive and explosive drug abuse problem sparked drug abuse problem sparked by members of its athletic by members of its athletic teams had 'special needs' teams had 'special needs' that justified suspicionless that justified suspicionless testing of district athletes as testing of district athletes as a condition of their athletic a condition of their athletic participation. But the 1995 participation. But the 1995 opinion "cannot be read to opinion "cannot be read to endorse invasive and endorse invasive and suspicionless drug testing of suspicionless drug testing of all students.”all students.”

The Fourth Amendment proclaims, “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated...” (Not an interpretation)

The article “Drug Testing Violates Students’ Privacy said, “In the court case Trinidad School v. Lopez the Colorado school district required random drug testing of all students in grades six through twelve. The Colorado Supreme Court found the policy to be unconstitutional.” (Doesn’t explain why the court made this decision)

YesYes NoNo

• Is my quote from an expert (judge, lawmaker, or lawyer) who is Is my quote from an expert (judge, lawmaker, or lawyer) who is interpreting the meaning of the amendment? interpreting the meaning of the amendment?

• Did I use a quote verb phrase? Did I use a quote verb phrase?

This proves that it is This proves that it is unreasonable for schools unreasonable for schools to conduct suspicionless to conduct suspicionless student drug tests. It is student drug tests. It is too invasive to require too invasive to require all students in all students in extracurricular activities extracurricular activities to submit urine samples to submit urine samples because unlike the because unlike the Vernonia School District, Vernonia School District, the Tecumseh School the Tecumseh School District did not have an District did not have an explosive drug abuse explosive drug abuse problem that required problem that required testing all these testing all these students.students.

This proves it isn’t fair This proves it isn’t fair to test students for to test students for drugs. drugs. (Too vague? (Too vague? Explain why)Explain why)

This proveThis prove Does this explain the

connection between my quote and thesis and more specifically, the constitutional citation?

Did I use an analysis verb phrase?

YesYes NoNo

In summary, In summary, random random suspisionless drug suspisionless drug testing of all testing of all students is an students is an unreasonable unreasonable search as defined search as defined by the Fourth by the Fourth Amendment of the Amendment of the Constitution. Constitution.

In conclusion In conclusion students should students should refuse drug tests. refuse drug tests. (Doesn’t include the (Doesn’t include the subtopic)subtopic)

Does this clearly connect Does this clearly connect the subtopic the subtopic (constitutional (constitutional interpretation) to the interpretation) to the thesis/position of the thesis/position of the paper (right to refuse a paper (right to refuse a school drug test? school drug test?

Did I use a summarizing Did I use a summarizing transition?transition?

YesYes NoNo

Democratic Ideals

Additionally, the democratic ideal of truth is being violated by mandatory random student drug tests.

How would life be if you had to go to school every day wondering if you would have to pee in a cup?

•Does this tell you about democratic ideals that support individual Does this tell you about democratic ideals that support individual gun ownership?gun ownership?•Does this establish a position (restate your thesis)?Does this establish a position (restate your thesis)?•Transitional phrase to emphasize new point?Transitional phrase to emphasize new point?

YesYes NoNo

Truth is an open and Truth is an open and honest account of honest account of the way things are. the way things are. When schools require When schools require drug tests, it implies drug tests, it implies that students don’t that students don’t have the integrity to have the integrity to tell the truth about tell the truth about whether they are whether they are using drugs.using drugs.

Nothing between topic Nothing between topic sentence and the sentence and the quote.quote.

Who doesn’t like the Who doesn’t like the truth? truth? (No questions, (No questions, also too vague)also too vague)

YesYes NoNo

• Do I identify a democratic ideal?

• Do I define the meaning/value of the democratic ideal in the context of the topic?

Shari Roan claims, “The Shari Roan claims, “The American Academy of American Academy of Pediatrics cautioned Pediatrics cautioned against random school against random school based drug testing, based drug testing, saying testing is not saying testing is not reliable enough, violates reliable enough, violates trust between students trust between students and adults and is not set and adults and is not set up to deal effectively up to deal effectively with students who test with students who test positive.” positive.”

Mary Pilon states, “Some Mary Pilon states, “Some experts doubt the experts doubt the effectiveness of such effectiveness of such testing.” testing.” (Too vague. (Too vague. Even though the same Even though the same idea is communicated on idea is communicated on the yes side, one of the the yes side, one of the reasons it is a better reasons it is a better quote is because it quote is because it comes from a medical comes from a medical group.)group.)

YesYes NoNo

• Will my selected quote connect the identified democratic ideal (life)?Will my selected quote connect the identified democratic ideal (life)?

• Did I use a quote verb phrase?Did I use a quote verb phrase?

This shows that if students are tested for drugs, then they feel like they are guilty until proven innocent by a drug test. This feeling breaks the trust relationship between students and adults even more when the accuracy of the test is unreliable.

Guns make people safe by reducing crime.

YesYes NoNo

• Does my analysis mention the specific democratic ideal (life) and explain the meaning of the democratic ideal in the context of the quote?

• Did I use an analysis verb phrase?

All in all, schools should not require student drug tests because it is a direct violation of truth in a time when trusting relationships are vitally important in a teenager’s life.

Now, don’t you think people should own guns?

Does this conclusion clearly bring it back to the generic topic sentence?

Does it include a summarizing transitional phrase?

YesYes NoNo

Individual Right vs. Common Good

Furthermore, mandatory Furthermore, mandatory school drug testing is school drug testing is harmful to both the harmful to both the freedom of individual freedom of individual students and the common students and the common good of a school population.good of a school population.

OR (if you only express ind. OR (if you only express ind. right)right)

In addition, students should In addition, students should be able to refuse school be able to refuse school drug testing programs drug testing programs because their individual because their individual rights outweigh the rights outweigh the common good benefits of common good benefits of drug testing.drug testing.

Drug tests are Drug tests are unacceptable because unacceptable because people don’t like to be people don’t like to be told what to do.told what to do.

YesYes NoNo

• Do you use the terms Do you use the terms individual or common good in individual or common good in relationship to your position?relationship to your position?•Does this establish a Does this establish a position/restate your thesis?position/restate your thesis?•Did you use a transitional Did you use a transitional phrase?phrase?

Schools like Maryville Schools like Maryville are making the decision are making the decision to use drug testing in an to use drug testing in an attempt to balance rights attempt to balance rights of individuals with the of individuals with the common good of the common good of the student body. The student body. The unfortunate reality is that unfortunate reality is that both parties suffer as a both parties suffer as a result of mandatory result of mandatory student drug tests.student drug tests.

Drug testing hurts Drug testing hurts students. students. (Too vague, (Too vague, doesn’t explain the doesn’t explain the conflict between common conflict between common good and individual right)good and individual right)

YesYes NoNo

• Do I explain the conflict between Do I explain the conflict between common good and individual rights?common good and individual rights?

• Do I give some contextual Do I give some contextual background about the quote?background about the quote?

Mary Pilon proclaims, Mary Pilon proclaims, “Maryville’s drug-“Maryville’s drug-testing program, which testing program, which includes most of its includes most of its middle and high school middle and high school students begins in the students begins in the fall [of 2012]… The fall [of 2012]… The cost will be $5,000 - cost will be $5,000 - $7,000 a year and will $7,000 a year and will come from the school’s come from the school’s general operating general operating budget.”budget.”

Mary Pilon states, “There Mary Pilon states, “There are no known instances are no known instances of a middle school of a middle school student testing positive student testing positive for performance for performance enhancing drugs like enhancing drugs like steroids or human steroids or human growth hormone.” growth hormone.” (Not a (Not a very convincing quote, very convincing quote, this sounds more like this sounds more like background because it background because it isn’t a statistic or isn’t a statistic or anecdote.)anecdote.)

YesYes NoNo

• Did I use a quote that shows the impact on common good and Did I use a quote that shows the impact on common good and individual rights?individual rights?

• Did I use a quote verb phrase?Did I use a quote verb phrase?

This demonstrates that the This demonstrates that the rights of the individuals are rights of the individuals are violated by the drug test’s violated by the drug test’s intrusiveness. Furthermore, intrusiveness. Furthermore, it is also harmful to the it is also harmful to the common good because this common good because this intrusive test will cost each intrusive test will cost each school $5,000 - 7,000 per school $5,000 - 7,000 per year that could have year that could have otherwise been spent on otherwise been spent on books and other resources books and other resources that are essential to that are essential to student learning.student learning.

This proves the cost of drug tests hurts the schools. (Doesn’t explain why)

YesYes NoNo

• Does my analysis include key Does my analysis include key concepts/ideas from the quote?concepts/ideas from the quote?

•Do I use these key ideas to explain Do I use these key ideas to explain the impact on the common good, the impact on the common good, individual rights or both?individual rights or both?

• Do I use an analysis verb phrase?Do I use an analysis verb phrase?

Consequently, schools Consequently, schools would be better off if they would be better off if they didn’t use drug testing didn’t use drug testing because it harms more because it harms more than it benefits both than it benefits both individuals and the individuals and the common good of the common good of the student body.student body.OR (if you only express ind. OR (if you only express ind. right)right)

Consequently, the rights of Consequently, the rights of individuals outweigh the individuals outweigh the benefit to the common benefit to the common good, making school drug good, making school drug testing a terrible drug testing a terrible drug prevention program.prevention program.

Now, don’t you think people should refuse drug tests?

Does this conclusion clearly Does this conclusion clearly restate the position of this restate the position of this paragraph?paragraph?

Do you use the term Do you use the term individual rights and/or individual rights and/or common good?common good?

Does it include a Does it include a summarizing transitional summarizing transitional phrase?phrase?

YesYes NoNo