COACHING PEOPLE IN STRESS OR OVERWHELM ACCREDITED …

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A CPD WORKSHOP FOR ACCREDITED MASTER COACHES STRESS OR OVERWHELM COACHING PEOPLE IN

Transcript of COACHING PEOPLE IN STRESS OR OVERWHELM ACCREDITED …

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A CPD WORKSHOP FORACCREDITED MASTER COACHES

STRESS OROVERWHELM

COACHING PEOPLE IN

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Welcome to the Workshop 4-5

Recognising Overwhelm 6-9

Overcoming Overwhelm 10-15

Move Past Overwhelm 16-21

Summary and Actions 22-25

NAME:

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Throughout the workbook we have used a number of symbols to help with navigation.

Useful tool

Activity

Reflective exercise

Debrief / discussion

Key ideas / points

Extra information

Pre-work/Homework

At the bottom of each page you’ll also find the name of the module currently being explored, also signalled with separately colour coded pages.

A reminder about your workbook. If you haven’t done so already, please write your name in the space on the contents page.

Your workbook contains the material for the session and also providesspaces for you to capture notes and ideas as well as complete exercisesthat you’ll be given during the workshop. The intention is that it will become a useful reference book that you can refer to as you develop your coaching further.

Of course, the value to you of your completed workbook will directlyrelate to how diligently you capture the output from exercises andwrite down your thoughts and reflections.

Not surprisingly, we therefore encourage you to actively use this workbook throughout the workshop and refer back to it at regular intervals!

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WELCOME TO THEWORKSHOP

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WELCOME TO THEWORKSHOP

About this Workshop

The skills and knowledge you’ll acquire will enable you to help you and your coachees overcome a state of ‘overwhelm’, de-stress and refocus.

The programme is split into 3 simple stages, with tools to facilitate your thinking.

By the end of the workshop you should be able to relate your real experiences of overwhelm to the programme content and establish measurable personal outcomes and actions.

Stage 1: Recognise when a coachee is in overwhelm

Stage 2: Creating a process to download everything that causes the overwhelm; ‘The Brain Dump’

Stage 3: Refocusing, Prioritising and Creating an Action Plan.

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RECOGNISINGOVERWHELM

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What is Overwhelm?

Stress and Overwhelm are two of the most common areas that can get raised in coaching sessions. Awareness of the causes of overwhelm, by the coachee, is the first step in preventing this from happening.

In groups, share examples of your own or a coachees situation of overwhelm and how it impacted their behaviour.

RECOGNISINGOVERWHELM

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7 Factors in Overcoming Overwhelm

There are many tools that can be used to overcome a coachees resistance or belief in accepting that their issues can be effectively addressed by coaching. Let’s look at how we can help a coach become ‘unstuck’:

Capture here your key insights from this conversation

7FACTO

RS

Reflecting onfuture memories

Spotting anddefining overwhelm

Clarifyingdesire

Contextualisingpotential

Determiningmental barriers

Eliciting possibleapproaches

Supportingmomentum

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Are you are in Overwhelm?

In pairs; Identify instances of your own overwhelm and have a coaching conversation with your partner to complete the chart below.

For each of the 10 areas below, mark with a cross, where you are NOW on a scale of 1- 10.

1 = ‘this never happens’ 3 = ‘it may happen occasionally’ 6 = ‘ it happens more than it should’ 8 = ‘ I seem to do this a lot’ and 10 = ‘Aagghhhh – help me stop please’

Top Ten areas of Overwhelm 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1. You’re defensive about everything

2. You’re snappy and irritable

3. You’re easily distracted

4. You feel bogged down and demoralised

5. You’re always looking for something new

6. You’re chasing your tail – March Hare Syndrome

7. You keep making excuses – “it’s not my fault”

8. You’ve developed a blame culture

9. You’re getting more Emotional than you should

10. You make promises you don’t keep

Capture your reflections from this exercise

Refer back to the notes you madeduring your pre-work ref lection.

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OVERCOMINGOVERWHELM

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The HERO Principle

A Hero is not what you are, it’s what you DO

H: E+R=OAccepting the world as it is and dealing with it.

H We are all human, hence this principle works for everyone regardless of experience, age or any other defining characteristics. If you are a human being then this will work for you.

E Events will happen to you and around you. You do not control these events, they are dynamic and unpredictable. Attempting to direct events is futile and will ultimately lead to frustration and failure.

R Responses are completely within the gift of the human experiencing events and they will be driven by the meanings they attach to whatever is being experienced. These meanings will be predicated by the memories a person has captured in respect of their ability to survive and thrive in a dynamic world.

O Is the emotional outcome a person experiences from their personal interaction with the dynamic world. It may be planned for, sought and practiced. It is not determined by events but by the response a person has to the events experienced.

“The most commonly held

beliefs about a human

being’s ability to effectively

navigate through life are

essentia lly wrong”

H HumanE EventR ResponseO Outcome

OVERCOMINGOVERWHELM

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The Brain Dump

In order to overcome overwhelm your coachee needs to be able to remove everything in their head that is taking up space and stressing them out.

Using a ‘wheel’ exercise is a simple way to do this.

For the purpose of this workshop use yourself as the subject (or role play a real coachee example if this would be more valuable)

Selecting the Segment HeadingsBrainstorm the main areas that are causing the stress and use these segment headings on the ‘wheel’ over the page.

Below are some example headings around business and personal issues. It may be that you want to use a mixture across the two lists or focus on one of them. It will be different for every situation.

Choose up to 6 headings which you wish to focus on:

Business Issues

Strategy Sales & Marketing Products / Services Customers People / Talent Processes Physical Space Job/Career Progression Use of available time Use of available support Use of available materials

Personal Issues

Fitness Finances Physical Space Intimate Relationship Extended Relationships Well Being Health & Vitality Expectations of Self Expectations of others

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Your Personal Overwhelm Wheel

Add your headings into this template.

In pairs; have a coaching session to write down in the relevant section of the wheel, everything that is taking up brain space in your head right now for each heading. It may be that everything is focused into just 1-2 areas of the wheel or spread across all six segments. This will vary case by case.

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Putting what you have learned into practice

Notes as Coach Notes as Coachee

Coaching practice

Reflecting on the coaching practice:

What aspects went well? What could be improved next time?

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Additional Notes

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MOVE PASTOVERWHELM

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Coaching Equation

= -

We want people living and working at their full potential. When performance = potential this is achieved. What gets in the way is interference.

‘Interference’ are the things that stop us moving forward, the limiting beliefs. Beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves. Coaching is all about removing these limiting beliefs.

Where does most interference sit? Yes, in your head. We get in our own way!

NOTE: Changing beliefs works better but is harder than changing behaviours.

An example of successful performance coaching

Take a look at the Coach John Wooden case study, in your online resource area!

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STOP

Stop, Stepback, check or

change State

THINK

Is this acoachablemoment?

ASK

Powerfulquestions &Actively listen

RESULT

Agree nextsteps, Outcome,Way forward

Notion's STAR Coaching Model®A simple, 4-step operational coaching model that you canuse ‘in the moment’ to deliver effective coaching at work

Result

Sto

pA

sk

Think

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Recognising Powerful Coaching Conversations

Working in pairs, chose one aspect from your ‘wheel’ to be coached on. Use the STAR® Model for a quick coaching round exploring the coaching equation ‘Performance = Potential – Interference’

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Putting what you have learned into practice

Notes as Coach Notes as Coachee

NOTES

Remember your Organisational Coaching workbook and the STAR® model

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Reflecting on the coaching practice:

What aspects went well? What could be improved next time?

14CUTTING THROUGH FOG

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How to rapidly analyse a coachee and formulate an approach

Often a coach will have very little time to build rapport and get on with the job of asking the right questions. This simple analytical tool is not a panacea to answer all situations but is a useful methodology to help home in on the real issues.

Driving Human Needs

All behaviour is driven by emotion.Emotion is affected by the ways in which driving human needs are fulfilled.

The 4 basic driving needs common to everyone are as follows:

People use different vehicles to achieve each of these needs.

Please note that they are neither hierarchical or optional; we all have them.

What is very different are the ways in which each person achieves their fulfilment.

The 4 driving needs must be in balance:Certainty must be balanced with Stimulation

Become overly certain and a person becomes arrogant and bored - and hence seeks more stimulation to stay in balance

Become overly stimulated and a person falls into overwhelm - and hence seeks certainty to stay in balance

Connection must be balanced with Significance Become overly connected and a person may feel undervalued or unnoticed - and hence seeks

ways to demonstrate their individuality

Become overly significant and a person may become egotistical, fall into victimhood or even feel paranoia - and hence seeks ways to gain reassurance

Certainty - the need to feel in control

Stimulation - the need to feel uncertain

Connection - the need to feel engaged with another person

Significance - the need to feel special or worthy

What did I learn? What action will I take as a result of this discussion?

Shared learnings

Look back at your Communication Tools workbook for more information on Driving Human Needs.

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Action Planning

The end stage is to help your coachee develop an Action Plan

Review your wheel. Organise everything into one of four categories:

Do it

Delegate it

Dump it

Defer it

Create a key by circling or highlighting each of the four areas in a different colour.

Key:

Do it Delegate itDump it Defer it

Now review your wheel and use the key to highlight/colour code every element on it.

Create an Achievable Timetable

On the following page is a calendar for the next 30 days plus a ‘future box’ and a ‘one day box’. Use the calendar to create an achievable timetable which will help establish measurable personal outcomes and actions.

Step 1: For all of the tasks marked as ‘schedule it’ allocate them to the calendar, ‘future’ or ‘one day’ box.

Step 2: If it is not critical within the next 6 months then add it to the ‘one day’ box.

Step 3: If it is not critical this month but should be done in the next 6 months add it to the ‘future box’.

Step 4: If it has to be done this month then allocate when this month you’ll do it.

At the end of this scheduling exercise you will clearly be able to see your priorities for this month and should no longer be using brain-power thinking about the activities in the future or one day box.

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Plan your timeline

In this coaching round, help your coachee diarise their tasks to help establish clarity and commitment to a result, focusing on the ‘R’ of the STAR® Model.

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

Future Box

One Day Box

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SUMMARY ANDACTIONS

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SUMMARY ANDACTIONS

Review of the Workshop

Take a moment to reflect on this workshop and make some notes.

Actions

What is there from today that I will commit to take action on?

Action By when Completed

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Tools Summary

7 Factors in Page 8 Overcoming Overwhelm

HERO Model Page 11

NOTES

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H HumanE EventR ResponseO Outcome

7FACTO

RS

Reflecting onfuture memories

Spotting anddefining overwhelm

Clarifyingdesire

Contextualisingpotential

Determiningmental barriers

Eliciting possibleapproaches

Supportingmomentum

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Aha! Moments and Insights

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