CADS Report March 2013

7/29/2019 CADS Report March 2013

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Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond

MARCH ISSUE 2013

CADS REPORT

Non compos mentis

Do you like

Ouch!

Sorry! Mummy issick and Ive

never done thisbefore.


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Summer of Cricket

Holland vs South AfricaDutch XI vs South Africa ODI@VRA Cricket ground (ABN AMRO

International Cricket Centre)

Friday May 23,2013, 11am to 7pm

Cricket Netherlands (KNCB) is delighted to announce

that following negotiations withCricket South Africa(CSA) the South African Castle Lager ODI squad will betouring the Netherlands in May in preparation for the

2013 ICC Champions Trophy to be played in England

and Wales during June.

We are looking forward to having some of the

household names of world cricket on our doorstep

and will be announcing hospitality and ticketing

details shortly.

TICKETS AVAILABLEFrom Tuesday, March 5Online tickets:

http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=ite

m&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512

Admission for children under 14 is free for all matches.

PRE SALE 25 AT THE GATE 30

Lets march over there after CADS lunch
http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512


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Oddly Enough Anglo Dutch News

Scrap the criminals' favourite500 note, say Labour MPs

Dutch News --The 500 note should be scrapped because it ismainly used by criminals, Labour politicians say in Mondays Tele-

graaf. The 500 note threatens to become an international drugs cur-

rency,

Labour MP Henk Nijboer told the paper. They will soon be using it

more often in South America than in Europe money which no-one

uses to pay for anything is not proper currency.

Dutch prison turned into modern luxury hotelThe Daily MailHet Arresthuis was said to be one of thecountry's most feared prisons. Today its a luxury hotel. The105 prisoner cells have been turned into 40 rooms all of which

boast modern furnishings, air conditioning, a flat screen TVand free Wi-Fi. The prison also includes a sauna, fitness centre,olive trees and an organic herb garden.

Asil Nadir is said to be interested in staying...as long as he

can use up his500 notes

Fancy aromanticweekendin prisonAsil?

Amsterdam prostitute twinsretire at 70 after 50 years and355,000menDutch News Two twin sister pensioners have decided to

retire as prostitutes after half a century in the sex trade,

having slept with 355,000 men between them. Louise and

Martine Fokkens are both 70 years old. Mother-of-four Louise

admitted that her arthritis means some positions are now too

painful.


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Oddly Enough Global NewsFresh from his trip to North Korea,Dennis Rodman arrives in Vatican tocampaign for first black Pope althoughhes not sure who heis

Charlie the parrot sports a natty

jumper knitted by his owner to keep

him warm after he plucked out his

own feathers.

The green eclectus parrot was

rescued by Safehaven, a bird charity

with a base in Nottinghamshire and

he now lives with its co-ordinator

Rebecca Blagg.

He had almost starved to death and

had plucked out its own feathers in

desperation, leaving him resembling

an oven ready chicken when the

charity found him.

Dennis Rodman headed to the Vatican to lead a

charm offensive for Cardinal Peter Turkson to be

elected as the next Pope, although the former

basketball star raised eyebrows by appearing to be

unsure about exactly who the Ghanaian is.

When asked about the man he was purported to

supporting he responded From Africa right?,which didnt go too far in convincing the cardinals

to vote for the first black Pope for more than 1,500

years.

His efforts were ultimately unsuccessful as Pope

Francis I can testify.

Plucky parrot

pulls on jumper

after pulling

outfeathers

Full-scale replica of the House of Commons up forsale oneBay

A human statue sprang to life when he punched a member of the public

in the face for annoying him. The jester, who is probably still nursing a

sore face, will think twice before bothering another street performer

after the incident at an Australian beach resort was posted on YouTube.

Human statue springs to life to punchannoying joker inface Order! Order!

A full-scale replica of the House of

Commons has been put up for sale by a

film studio which is having a bit of a

clear-out. The 460 sq m (5,000 sq ft) set,

in which Meryl Streep played Margaret

Thatcher in the The Iron Lady, is on eBay.

Lord Almalo


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Chairm

ans

CornerMarch Issue 2013

WATERSFriends, Amsterdammers, fellowCADS.

After last months witty and motivationalspeech from Dr Willem about the newScheepsvaartmuseum (do go and see it, itsgreat!), we have a change of pace and sub-

ject this month.

Dont forget that we are a weekearly (22nd).Wullie MacMorland, who organises theAlkmaar Whisky Festival each year, andowns the Hielander restaurant, is coming totalk to us about the water of life. Uisgebeatha in Gaelic. (Whisky to us sassenachs).Dont bring your car!

MIKE

And a major rap across the knuckles for NS. Since obtain-

ing an OV card my expenses for Dutch rail travel have tri-

pled. In order to understand this I had to visit the travel

desk at Schiphol, which I did on the way from London last

evening. They cheerfully informed me that due to system

difficulties, and my own learning curve of touching in and

out correctly, they have managed to charge me a penalty

fare of 20 Euros additional for each and every journey Ive

made to date this year >>>

The result is they defraud

their customers, and keep it

quiet unless you check. Then

only refund monies at their

own discretion if you write to

them with the evidence using

snailmail.

I have offered them the use ofthe London Oystercard team

to help them improve. In the

meantime the message is

clear. Dont use the OV card to

travel, and if you absolutely

must, then ensure you perform

a 100% audit!!!

LORD AND LADY ALMELO

Mike and Jean went to the palace,

and Mike managed to recruit Princess

Anne as a future guest speaker (it

runs just like a London club, Maam).

Note that on May 7th we are all going

to the ambassadors residence for an

evening reception to celebrate. He

has kindly loaned us the use of his

reception room for the event, and we

will be sending details around

shortly. Dont miss it

Last Monday, the CADS committee

was invited to a reception on board

HMS St Albans, which visited

Amsterdam for 2 days R&R before

returning to Portsmouth for her

first refit. She is a type 23 frigate, a

relatively small but very business-

like warship armed with both ship

killing and cruise missiles. She hasmore punch than any of the older

battleship or cruiser classes.

Her principal role is submarine

detection and destruction, using

long towed arrays of passive sonar,

backed up by active buoys dropped

by her helicopter.

During the reception it was

noted that Anglo-Dutch

trade is growing rapidly,

and we are now number 3

in the rank of countries for

UK exports.

Is this the Nick Clegg

effect?I think rather more the

Paul Arkwright effect, to-

gether with his team and

particularly our member

Mark Ashwell.

So do congratulate him

when you next see him.

CADS Report March 2013

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Transcript of CADS Report March 2013