Building Better Introductions

What is the introduction?

LEADS (DUCT) the reader INTO (INTRO) your paper

1.Grabs the reader’s attention (attention getter or hook)

2. Creates a common ground or CONTEXT which acts as the springboard for the topic.

3. Presents the general TOPIC of the paper.

4. States your POSITION or thesis statement ( a controlling statement that previews what are you going to prove, how are you going to prove it, and the main points of essay)

ACTS

Attention getter Context Thesis Statement

Thesis Statement

The basic tenets of Altruism, selfless acts for the benefit of others, is personified through the work of [charitable organization], based on their origins, their development of /actions of ______________, and the continued impact they have had on ___________________. )

Thesis Statement

The basic tenets of altruism, selfless acts for the benefit of others, is personified through the work of The Human Fund, based on their origins, their development of social programs, and the continued impact they have had on ending the cycle of poverty.

My Road Mapbased on their origins, their development of social programs across the United States, and the continued impact they have had on ending the cycle of poverty.

Body paragraph #1—origins of charityBody paragraph #2—how they “get it done”—their programs, financials, and impact on the issue/s they address

HWOC only…Body paragraph #3A. Challenge(s)/concerns/obstacleB. Refutation (yes, but…)C. Re-emphasis on the core character of the charity (could be a new feature or a new aspect to prove the basic nature of the charity.)

“Funnel” the Introductory Info

Begin with a very broad general idea and continue with more and more specific ideas until it arrives at the thesis sentence—the most specific idea in the introductory paragraph.

Funnel Introduction

Funnel Introduction

Funnel Introduction

Write a funnel introduction for the essay on your charity.

Start with the most general idea (probably ALTRUISM) you can think of that is related to your thesis. Get progressively more specific (at least two more steps) until you arrive at the thesis.

1. Contrast Introduction

This style of intro is especially appropriate when your thesis contradicts or modifies a commonly held belief or assumption.

For example, if your thesis sentence is, "It is more difficult to learn to ski than most people realize," you could write an introduction such as this:

Example of Contrast IntroMost people assume that learning to

ski is not extremely difficult. They imagine the process consists of little more than strapping on two long boards and pushing off at the top of a hill. On the contrary, learning to ski is more difficult than these people realize, and it requires long hours of practice, extremely good physical condition, and a lot of determination.

 

Contrast introductions frequently begin with phrases or clauses that set up a contradictory tone:

• Americans today tend to believe that ______.

• Conventional wisdom has it that________.

• Common sense seems to dictate that _________.

• People often say that _______.

• Many people assume that_______.

Your turn… Write a contrast introduction for your paper

about your charity. First ask yourself what commonly held belief or

idea your thesis contradicts. Start your introduction with a presentation of

this assumption, explain it in some detail (a couple of sentences)

Then, after a signal of contradiction (however, on the other hand, but), present your thesis.

2. Anecdotal/Scenario Introduction This style tells a brief story in order to

introduce the thesis. For example, if you were writing a

paper arguing that fighting global warming is essential to preserve the global economy, you might begin the paper by telling a story about a farmer in Australia who went bankrupt last year as a result of a drought that scientists believe was caused by global warming. Your “story” may be cited reference data…!

When to use Anecdotal Introduction

. If you were writing a paper about the importance of education in ending the poverty cycle, you might relay a story about a girl who escaped her poor neighborhood by studying hard and getting into college.

Example #1 of Anecdotal IntroAnna V. Popova was at home

with her daughter when she saw the flash, then heard explosions, then found the windows of her enclosed balcony blown in; her neighbor, with identical windows, escaped without property damage.

Scientists believe the space rock that tore through the atmosphere on Friday morning and blew apart Popova’s world was the largest to have entered the atmosphere since 1908 and that it was unusual as well for the scale of its effects: more than 1,200 people injured and broad property damage. (What thesis could this story intro?)

Example #2 of Anecdotal IntroAltoona mom Kim Jones feels

good earning her own way.Jones grew up in a rough,

poverty-stricken part of New Jersey where drug dealers huddled on street corners while children walking home from school would get shot in the crossfire of gang violence.

That's nearly the life her own children - now ages 20, 14 and 10-year-old twins - ended up having, too. That is until Jones made a choice to flee an abusive relationship and give her children a different life. They landed in Altoona five years ago. (What thesis could this story intro?)

Example #3 of Anecdotal IntroIn Appalachia, many communities have had

their water supplies destroyed by coal mining operations. From Boone County, West Virginia to Pike County, Kentucky residents have had their water contaminated with a long list of deadly, cancer causing pollutants like arsenic, barium, lead, manganese and other chemicals at concentrations federal regulators say is unsafe to drink. The drinking water of Appalachian families was so polluted it burned their skin when they had to bathe in it because they had no other source of water.

Anecdotal/Scenario Introduction

Whose story can you tell to hook your reader into your charity?

Attention Grabbers/ HooksIt is essential that stories, magazine articles, and especially essays begin with good hooks because a writer is often judged within the first few sentences.

Startling Statement (good and evil theme) All human beings are capable

of the most gruesome crimes imaginable. It is only because of the customs and controls of civilization that we do not become brute savages

Quote(inner strength theme) As Nobel Peace Prize recipient

Nelson Mandela once said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us.”

Shocking Statistic(global issues theme)According to the United Nations,

over 240 million people, forty percent of them being children, are starving in the world today. In addition, this planet has already begun to experience shortages of gas, oil, and other important natural resources.

Analogy(superficiality theme)The models that grace the pages of

magazines seem to be better than anyone we have ever met: They seem elegant, untouchable, and perfect. But, just as magazine covers are manipulated to hide imperfections, we, too, sometimes fool ourselves into ignoring the flaws of individuals whom we have built up to be perfect beings.

Historical Background (human vices theme) The Romans called it cerevisia - gift of cares, goddess of grain. Ancient Babylonians, Chinese and Egyptians all concocted it; the god Osiris, in fact, is credited with being the world’s first brew master. Hammurabi made laws about it. He invented the running tab, allowing his subjects to settle up at the local dram shop after they had harvested their corn. George Washington brewed it at Mount Vernon, Thomas Jefferson at Monticello. During World War II, Wilson Churchill outfitted a floating brewery so that thirsty tommies fighting in the Far East could get their deli rations. Ethel Kennedy sips it with a shot of brandy or schnapps, while in Pittsburgh, steel workers use it as a “wash” for whisky. Last year, Americans consumed an estimated 160 million barrels of beer – 90 quarts for every man, woman, and child in the U.S. Behind all those suds is a $6 billion-a-year industry, and it is an industry in turmoil.

Provocative Question(human geography theme) Fortunately, at the present time, only certain

nations of the world are suffering greatly from the effects of overpopulation, pollution, and shortages of food and other natural resources. However, as the Earth’s population continues to increase at an alarming rate, all nations will eventually be gravely affected. As a result, how much longer can the nations of this planet afford the luxury of looking upon each other as separate when it comes to issues such as food supply or ecology? How long can we continue without global planning in areas crucial for human survival?

Image making(pop culture theme) Pink isn’t easily contained on a normal

concert stage, regardless of its size. She hungers to be airborne, kicking and bouncing and twisting high into the air on bungee cord and cable, or tossed and spun from one dance partner to another, as she was last night at Staples Center in Los Angeles. On the third stop of her 2013 tour, she flew as much as anyone from The Avengers.