Who’s Your Jonathan?

March 6th 2009

First, a recap…

A Nathan…

• Helps you see the things you are running away from

• Is honest about even the little things (Eph 4:15)

• Reminds you of what you have to do (James 1:22)

• Sacrifices politeness and kindness for impact (will ‘knock you out’ to perform life-saving surgery on you)

• Pisses you off but makes you think!

A true friend _______________?

Describe a true friend

<Fill in the blanks>

Typical male idea of a best friend?

“Someone they haven’t seen for 10 years”

Laura Marcus, New York Times Columnist

“If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend…”

Deut 13:6

(Increasing levels of intimacy)

…Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house.

And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

1 Samuel 18:1-4

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me.

Your love for me was wonderful,

more wonderful than that of women.

2 Samuel 1:26

“O my dear brother Jonathan, I'm crushed by your death.

Your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything I've known— or ever hope to know.

2 Samuel 1:26 (The Message)

So what’s the story?

A Jonathan…

…gives and gives and wants no payment

…is loyal even when you make it hard to be loyal

…won’t let you surrender to your

dark side

…has seen you ‘naked’, in all

your treachery / lechery, at your most evil…and

loves you anyway

…grants you grace when you take him/her for granted

…joyously fades his song when your song rises

What is the difference between a BEST friend

and a TRUE friend?

(Discuss)

There are at least 3 reasons why true friends are so rare

3 syndromes…

or 3 sin-dromes…

1. The “What’s-in-it-for-me?” Syndrome?

“Some friends play at friendship but a true fried

sticks closer than one’s kin”

Proverbs 18:24

2. The “No-Down-Elevator” Syndrome

G - The Façade Level

B1 - The Sentiment / Opinion Level

B2 - The VulnerabilityLevel

B3 - The IntimacyLevel

Sign of a psychologically

healthy human being?The ability to

comple te ly trust at least one other

person.

3. The “What? MeSacrifice?” Syndrome

If you have much, give of your wealth;

if you have little, give of your heart.

(Arabian Proverb)

What about “friendship closure”?

What does a woman want?

“Simple. She wants a partner who cares what she wants.”

Daniel Goleman,Author of EQ

So, who’s your Jonathan?

Who have you been a Jonathan to?

“The true friend is, so to speak, a second self.”

Cicero

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his

life for his friends. You are my friends.”

John 15:13-14

Go in Peace – Serve the Lord