Unit #4: Relationships

Ch. 10, 11, and 12

Skills for Healthy Relationships

Chapter 10

Introductory Questions #1 1) What qualities do you look for in a friend? Which of these

characteristics do you personally display?2) Name some important characteristics that a healthy relationship is

based on.3) Name three skills people need in order for a relationship to succeed.

(3 C’s)4) How do you define a person’s character? What are the six main

traits of good character? (Pg. 252)5) What are the three basic skills that are needed for effective

communication?6) In your own words, describe the three styles of communication

(passive, aggressive, & assertive).7) Communication always involves speaking and ______. Remember

to never ____________ that the others can read you mind. (pg. 255)

Foundations of Healthy Relationships

• Relationship– A bond or connection you have with other people– Relationships affect all sides of your health triangle

• Role– A part you play in a relationship– e.g., son, daughter, employee, friend, church member,

etc.– These roles may gradually or suddenly change– Be aware of your role

• Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and shared values and interests– Encourage and support one another– All parties benefit and feel comfortable

Types of Relationships

• Family relationships (immediate & extended)– Teach you values that will guide you

through life thus enhancing your social health

– Their love, care, and encouragement contribute to your mental/emotional health

– Food, clothing, and shelter benefit your physical health

Types of Relationships

• Friendships– A significant relationship between two

people that is based on caring, trust, and consideration

– Based on shared values and interests– Can positively influence your self-

concept and behavior– Hard work, but well worth the effort

Types of Relationships• Community relationships• Citizenship

– The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community

• Members work together to enhance the safety and well-being of the entire community

• Demonstrate good citizenship by:– Volunteering– Obeying laws and rules– Be a friendly and helpful neighbor

Three C’s of Healthy Relationships

• Communication– Your ways of send and

receiving messages– Words, gestures, facial

expressions and behaviors– Used to express feelings,

needs, wants, & knowledge

• Cooperation– Working together for the

good of all• Helps build stronger

relationships• Helps build stronger

relationships

• Compromise– A problem-solving

method that involves each participant’s giving up something to reach a solution that satisfies everyone

• This “give and take” strengthens relationships

• Solutions should be acceptable to ALL parties

• Learn when to and when to NOT compromise

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

• Mutual respect and consideration

• Honesty• Dependability• Commitment

Character

• Character– The way you think,

feel, and act• Trustworthiness

– Honest, reliable, & loyal

• Respect– Good manners, being

considerate, tolerant• Responsibility

– Do what is expected of you, personal accountability, self-control

• Fairness– Play by the rules, take

turns and share, open-minded, don’t place blame, listen

• Caring– Kind and

compassionate; put time and energy into helping others

• Citizenship– Doing your share and

taking part in improving your school/community; obeying laws and rules

Communicating Effectively

• All the ways in which you send and receive messages are forms of communication

• Three basic skills for effective communication– Speaking– Listening– Body language

Communication Styles

• Passive– The inability/unwillingness to express thoughts and

feelings• Don’t stand up for themselves• Pushovers

• Aggressive– Intimidate and bully

• Not considerate of others• Assertive

– Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly, BUT without hurting others

• Stand up for themselves while respecting others• They attack the problem, not the person

Communication Skills

Speaking– Don’t assume people can read your mind

• Express hurt feelings• Clearly say what you mean• Be aware of tone, pitch, and volume

• “I” message– Statement that expresses how a person feels

by using the pronoun “I”– Delivers messages with strong emotional

content– Avoid placing the blame on others

Introductory Questions #2 1) Why is the “I message” important to use when you have to

communicate strong emotional context?2) Why is listening such an important aspect of good communication?3) Name the four techniques for active listening that can help you to

have a healthy relationship.4) Messages that do not contain words (nonverbal communication)

involve __________ _______ through gestures, facial expressions, behavior, and posture.

5) Name (5) obstacles that stop clear communication between people. (pgs 259-260)

6) Briefly explain what constructive communication is and the purpose it serves.

7) Why are acknowledgements and compliments important to give others?

Communication Skills

Listening• Active Listening

– Paying close attention to what someone is saying & communicating

• Reflective listening– Rephrase/summarize– Clarifying– Ask how he/she feels or thinks about the situation– Ask questions for your own clarification– Encouraging– Nodding, smiling, “I see,” “uh-huh”– empathizing

Communication Skills

• Body Language– Non-verbal communication through

gestures, facial expression, behaviors and postures• Nodding or smiling can show you agree or

disagree• Tense position or rolling of the eye’s can

communicate frustration, etc.• Being aware of body language can help

send clearer messages

Eliminating Communication Barriers

• Image & Identity issues– Identity: a sense of

who you are and of your place in the world

• If you are unsure of who you are & your values, communication can become complicated

• Unrealistic expectations– Can lead to frustration

• Lack of trust

• Prejudice– An unfair opinion or

judgment of a particular group of people

• Doesn’t allow you to be open-minded

• Tolerance– Ability to respectfully

accept others’ differences

• Gender stereotyping

Effective Communication

Constructive feedback• Constructive criticism: non-hostile comments that

point out problems for the purpose of helping a person improve– Doesn’t place blame or attack

• Use “I” messages• Acknowledgements & compliments

– Everyone needs to feel appreciated• Various forms:

– Notes– Verbal expression of gratitude– Flowers– gifts

Introductory Questions #3 1) What are the (5) common causes of conflict?

2) Look at Fig. 10.5 (pg. 264), what sorts of strategies can be used to resolve conflicts? Why is respect important in resolving conflict?

3) What do you think causes conflicts to escalate and get out of control? (see exploring issues)

4) What are some important things to remember when trying to negotiate with others?

5) What is mediation? What are some important things to remember if you are the mediator between two people?

Resolving Conflict

• Conflict– Any disagreement,

struggle or fight• Often occurs when

the needs, wants, expectations or beliefs clash with those of another person

• Interpersonal conflict– Disagreements

between groups of any size

• Common Cause of Conflict– Power struggles– Loyalty– Jealousy/envy– Property disputes– Territory & space

Responding to Conflict

• Primary concerns:– Health and safety– Walking away from a potentially

dangerous situation is a mature decision—don’t be afraid of doing so

• Conflict resolution– The process of solving a disagreement in a

manner that satisfies everyone involved• Strategies for resolving conflicts

– See Figure 10.5 (page 264)

Negotiation & Mediation

• Negotiation: the use of communication and often compromise to resolve a disagreement– Steps to take:

• Select a time & place best suited for working out the problem

• Work together• Be open-minded• Be flexible• Take personal responsibility• Give the other person an “out” (if they seem

embarrassed or uncomfortable—set up for later)

Negotiation & Mediation

• Mediation: the process in which specially trained people help others resolve their conflicts peacefully– Confidentiality is maintained– Usually in a neutral location– Should be used when all other means of

resolution have been exhausted• Peer mediators: students trained to

help other students find fair resolutions to conflicts & disagreements

Introductory Questions #4 – Chapter11 1) How would you define a family? What does a family

provide you?2) When looking at the Health triangle, how do family

relationships effect all three sides?3) List all the ways you can strengthen your family

relationships.4) Your text offers some suggestions for managing

emotional stress when parents get divorced. What are they?

5) What are some changes in family circumstance that can cause difficulties for the family?

6) What can you do to cope with family changes? (pg. 284)

Introductory Questions #5 1) What are the three main forms of abuse

commonly seen in families?2) What are the elements of a good safety plan

against abuse? (see the Q & A box)3) What are some of the effects of abuse?4) How can the “Cycles of Violence” be stopped?5) What are the three strategies (R’s) that can help

you avoid and prevent domestic abuse?6) Why are support groups important for people

who need help? What do they offer to people?

Chapter 12

Peer Relationships

Safe & Healthy Friendships

• What is a friend?– Someone with whom you share a bond– Casual vs. close– platonic

• Who usually makes up your group of friends?– Peers or people of similar age– Cliques?

• Usually based on prejudice & stereotyping

Forming Healthy Friendships

• Choose friends that share similar interests & values, but that also provide a healthy balance.

• Care for & nurture those friendships:– Be loyal– Encourage one another– Respect each other

• What is peer pressure?– Is it only negative?

• Negative peer pressure usually results in engaging in risky behaviors.– Harassment– manipulation

• Avoid it • Be assertive1. State your position2. Suggest

alternatives3. Stand your ground• The pitfalls of

passive & aggressive responses.

Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills

Dating!!

• You are approaching the stage in your life when you start feeling differently about boys & girls…we call this dating.

• Infatuation vs. affection– Infatuation: exaggerated feelings of

passion– Affection: feelings of fondness

Dating!!• What to do:• Sports/athletic

events• Community

activities• Charitable activities• School events

• Set limits BEFORE– Curfews are usually

aimed at keeping you safe

• What NOT to do:• Put yourself in

risky situations• Being alone

before you are ready

Abstinence

• Deliberately deciding to avoid high-risk behaviors

• Abstinence applies to sexual activity & drug use

• Establish priorities• Set limits• Share thoughts• Talk with a trusted

adult• Avoid high-

pressure situations• Don’t use alcohol

or drugs

Chapter 12: Peer and Friend RelationshipsKey terms to know:-cliques-prejudice-stereotype-Attributes: loyalty, respect, encouragement-Refusal skills----peer pressure-harassment-manipulation-passive/aggressive-Dating-Abstinence-STD’s

Chapter 12: Peer and Friend Relationships

Assignment:Write a one page letter to your best friend explaining to them all the reasons you enjoy their company. Be sure to include:-A past experience you had with them

(a memorable event)-Important things that were said or done-Qualities they possess that you like about them-Why you like hanging out with them?