10 Habits of Successful Muslimah

7/23/2019 10 Habits of Successful Muslimah

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But, dont get too comfortable in your routine. Adding some spice and maintaining some

good habits will make a very successful and enjoyable marriage. Some of these habits are

similar to the Muslim Husband Habits but, some are just for us, girls.

1.

Stay Healthy and Get Outside!This is by far the most important habit a Muslim Wife can do to make a successful

marriage. Before marriage, my husband and I were both active people. He was an

extreme biker and I played basketball for almost 10 years before we met. After

marriage and the onset of chores, work and family obligations, time for staying healthy

was becoming low on our priority scale.

Over time, we both forgot the initial attraction we had for one another an active,

healthy lifestyle. An active lifestyle brings many benefits from clearing the mind from

trivial matters to enjoying each others company in a different way.

As we have brought the active lifestyle back into our lives, we both realize we learn a lot

about each other through activity. For example, on our hikes we see the other persons

stamina and determination, in playing basketball, we see our competitiveness side, and

in our daily walks we see each others stillness and appreciation for nature.

It is by far a crucial aspect of our relationship and one that really keeps us connected,

alhamdulillah.

2.

Listen and Be SupportiveOne of the best things a Muslim Wife can do for her husband is be supportive. We all

know the famous story of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon

him; after receiving revelation, he came straight home to his nurturing wife, Sayyidina

Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her. She wasnt on the phone with her girlfriend nor

was she too busy on the computer, she was ready to comfort and listen.

For me, this starts as soon as your husband comes home through the door. Greeting

your husband with a salaam, a smile and a hug is sure to set a peaceful atmosphere

right away.

A Muslim Wife is attentive to her husbands needs. If he is holding something in his

hands, like groceries, take them from him, hand him a glass of juice or have some fruit

or snacks readily available. These small gestures show simple kindness and goes a long

way.


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If your husband had a hard day at work, the initial greeting will soothe him. Thereafter,

if he needs to vent about his boss or co-worker, listen to him. A good listener asks

questions, makes good eye contact and reassures with nods and affection. Initially,

take his side! If things are said that you dont agree with, wait until a better time to

give advice. The first initial response he is looking for is support and kindness from his

wife, even if he is wrong. Thereafter, of course you can give advice and guide.

Another tip remember names of people your husband says. A week later after the

work problem is over, simply ask your husband, Is everything okay with Michael, now?

He will be happy that you really listened by remembering names.

So, lend a good ear and your hearts will come closer together.

3.

Be Creative Change is Good!

We like to change things around in our apartment every season. This is as simple as

changing the furniture into a different position, changing hanging pictures or de-

cluttering old knick knacks.

Over time, my husband and I have become minimalists. We like the clean counter-tops,

things put away in drawers and cupboards, and we have a new distaste for random

objects. So, we minimize every season by giving away clothes, dishes and books.

We also change our usual eating spots at the table and seating in the living room. We

change our chores around too. I usually cook and he washes the dishes, but lately wehave been cooking together and then sharing the dishes too (I soap while he rinses).

We have about four or five home-cooked meals that we both enjoy and we basically just

rotate them week to week. But, after a while we add a new dish to the mix. Ill learn

something new from mom or a girl friend and surprise him with it one night.

Small changes creates new growth and stimulation to your relationship without falling

into boredom and we always feel like weve just moved in every time we change

things around.

4.

Engage in Good Conversation Learn New Things

Engaging in meaningful dialogue that does not consist of talking about family, friends or

every day matters can boost your marriage.


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Very easily we can fall into talking about whats happening in our lives right now, which

is fine and needed. However, your relationship truly grows and tests new boundaries

when you learn new things and share them with your spouse.

My husband shares new things he is always learning from blogging, marketing and

computer stuff. To be honest, this is foreign to me. But, it is something that he is

motivated by and by listening to him I have learned a lot of interesting things about it

(and he has convinced me to write this article for example, lol.)

Its nice to talk about the books or articles Ive read and thought about with my husband

so I can gain his perspective, learn about him and enrich my own. At times, when we

disagree on a topic, our persuasive strategies kick in, allowing for a good debate.

When other temporary things fall away that make you happy a good conversation can

last a life-time.

5. Be Alive and Excited about Life

Do you remember the first time you met your husband? Probably one of those awkward

meetings or something. But, I remember both of us being alive and happy. We tried to

look our best and be interesting too. I dont remember either of us letting all of our

problems out!

Ive met a few sisters in the last little while that exude a certainkind of sadness or

worry or fear that they dont even realize that they exude. They actually walk aroundwith a frown!

They might have a problem or concern that of course makes them look and feel a

certain way, but over time if the sad state continues it can really dampen the best of

relationships.

Yes, the honeymoon phase (they say its the two year mark) can reach its end but it

doesnt have to! If you find yourself bored and sad, then it is really up to you to make a

change in the relationship. If you are seriously upset about something, then seek help!

There are so many things to be excited and alive about in the world! You might need a

change in your circle of friends (who really do have a big influence on how you see and

do things) or you might need a new hobby or need to get outside and get fresh air on a

regular basis.


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Being energetic and happy and willing to try new things with your husband is an

important aspect of marriage. Being grumpy and unmotivated can lead to a whole

bunch of problems for both of you. Find a new friend or a new hobby or a new book and

get excited about life. Your husband will notice the energy and cheerfulness in you and

you could change the atmosphere of your home and relationship just by changing your

mood.

6.

Have One Good Girl Friend (Or Mom) Share your Problems withGrace

There are some things that you just need to tell a girl friend because she will just

understand and some things you can only tell your husband and it is important to know

the difference.

It is very easy to get so comfortable with our husbands that we share some things with

them that they really could be spared. There is a certain kind of respect and dignity a

husband needs to have. And, sisters, there is a certain level of respect and dignity he

also has for you, too.

I have seen too many times, sisters complaining about other sisters, their clothes or

their characters to their husbands. Please dont do this! Sharing secrets or worse the

flaws of other sisters to your husbands is a big no-no, especially if the sister confided in

you. Even though you and your husband are a pair, your sister friend should not feel

that everything she tells you is going straight to the husband!

This is not only gossip and forbidden in Islam, but boring and undignified to your

husband. Instead, having a good girl friend or even your mom or someone else you

trust provides an excellent outlet to let out frustrations that can dampen a marriage or a

husbands mood or respect for you.

In the same vein, sisters should not tell other sisters their husbands secrets! Its okay

to seek advice but not in a way that can make your husband lose respect in front of your

friend.

Your husband can be your best friend and will be with you to the very end, inshaAllah.It is not worth it to lose your husband and what matters to him over a friend who no

matter how close they are, can end up not being there for you in the end.

7.

Dress Up and Smell Good Take Care of Your

Outward andInward Appearance


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Finally, after years of searching for the one you are married! You look into the face of

your spouse and you think, so it was you that I was meant to marry. And, the

marriage chapter of your life begins.

Marriage is half our deen and now that there is this one man in your life, this is your

chance to make it everything youve ever dreamed of. And one fun thing a Muslim Wife

can do is simply dress up and smell good.

I always think its interesting that sisters (and brothers) can be frumpy in their homes

but as soon as they step out of the door they dress up and go all out. Very often we

dress up for the world (strangers who we dont know or at our workplace) and

sometimes we just let ourselves go in front of family and our spouses.

I think its great that couples get so comfortable with each other that they can stay in

their pajamas all day. But, sisters, simply dressing up and smelling good can reallyuplift your husbands appreciation of you and may make him dress up and smell good

for you too.

If you are a stay-at-home sister/mom, yeah you can stay in your pajamas all day but

if you know your husband is coming home at 5:30, then change into something nice and

put on some perfume at 5:00!

Taking care of personal hygiene and working on yourself inwardly is sure to add to your

overall character. Reading Quran, catching up on a Islamic lecture, praying and making

heartfelt duaa all add to the beauty of you.

So, strike a balance between the outward and the inward appearance of you and watch

the positive benefits come into your marriage and family.

8. Be Affectionate Dont Hold Back Your Love

I think culturally, many sisters can bring a lot of baggage to their marriages and it is not

our fault because its the way weve all grown up.

Some of us have been too immersed in Western culture and seen all the movies that we

have expectations of our husbands to act a certain way or we are the complete opposite

where we have been so sheltered that marriage and the thought of living with a boy

(when you are married) is strange and almost wrong!


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And, it is strange. All of our lives, sisters grow up in the homes of parents only to leave

them (quite suddenly) to live with a complete stranger (most people only know each

other for a short while before they get married.)

But, the truth of the matter is that marriage is a noble sunnah that is one of the most

beautiful aspects of our deen. And, one of the best things a Muslim Wife can do is to be

affectionate, even if it has to be learned over time. This is your husband now. The one

man that you married and will be married to for ever, inshaAllah. Be affectionate with

your husband, whatever that means to you, and the affection will lead to a closer and

more connected relationship.

Human touch, whether it be holding hands or a hug, leads to Mercy (Rahma) in

relationships whether it is with your husband, sister friends or even your parents. So,

be affectionate often and reap the benefits.

9.

Go the Extra Mile Hell Notice (Hopefully)

Going the extra mile means doing something for your husband that goes above and

beyond what he expects of you.

If he asked you to make a meal for his family, it means you go all out and make the

dishes with care and effort.

If you are going out for a special day, it means you take time to find the right outfit and

perhaps wear it a bit differently than he is used to. It could mean sending him arandom text message to say you are thinking of him or a random e-card.

It could mean spending extra time listening to him talk to you about his concerns

without you changing the subject. It could mean baking home-made cookies, inviting

him on a special day you have planned, making him a gift or cleaning his desk space.

It could mean wearing earrings if you normally dont at home, or giving him free time to

work-out or for his hobby, or even helping him get ready in the morning with a packed

lunch with a nice note inside.

The ideas are endless and with a bit of extra time and effort, your husband will

appreciate the little details youve paid attention to, inshaAllah.

10.

Say Thank You Be Grateful for Small and Big Things


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One of the hadiths that scare me to death is the one that says, The majority of hell is

made up of women who were ungrateful to their husbands. Yikes!

So, say thank you every night to your husband before you go to sleep for anything and

everything that he has done for you. Dont overlook things you have got used to like

him buying groceries, helping out with dishes, listening to your problems or simply going

to work everyday.

Remember the big things and the small things and soon all small things will turn into big

things for you, inshaAllah.

Thank him sincerely: Thank you for helping with the dishes because it really cuts the

time out I have to spend in the kitchen. Rather than simply saying thank you, explain

yourself to him and tell him why its important to you and that you noticed.

He will feel happy that he could help and may make him feel like doing it even more for

you! Most importantly, give thanks to Allah, most Generous, and He will increase your

marriage even more, inshaAllah.

Parting Thoughts

This list is a reminder first to myself before I send them to you. All of these are from

experience of being married for almost three years now. You may agree or disagree, but

these are just some things that have helped the both of us over time.

And, we are always learning and growing and making mistakes, alhamdulillah, its all part of

the journey. Feel free to share more insight or your own tips with us in the comments

below.

InshaAllah, may Allah pour blessing upon blessing into all our marriages! Ameen!

10 Habits of Successful Muslimah

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