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Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.Leo Tolstoy
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The three-legged stool has been used for
everything from a projectmanagement metaphor to the
best selling seat for milking
cows. Its utility lies in its
ability to create stability on
uneven ground. It is for
that sure footedness that thisdocument was created. We
live in a time where the un-
insured and the un-assured are equally
vulnerable to debilitating dis-ease. Consumer
confidence is at an all-time low along with job
satisfaction and employee engagement.
But what is the foundation of our discontent?
Is it the shaky economy that undermines our
confidence, or is our shaky confidence
undermining our economy? Since our physical
capacity to produce has not changed, the
answer lies not in our ability but our mobility.
Fear produces stagnation and without
movement everything dies.
Progress is the lifeblood of employee
confidence, and a confident employee is nine
times more likely to be engaged as an
uncertain one.
i
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Three Legged Leadership is about re-instilling
confidence in teams by reconnecting with the
stable ground within ourselves. Although
this resource defines actions with and for
others, its primary focus is you. We cannot
lead others until we first learn to lead
ourselves.
We are not a reflection of our world;
our world is a reflection of us.
The legs of the stool represent Awareness,
Honesty and Action, all connected together to
support the Self. The Self should not be
confused with the isolated ego or finite
package of skin and bones, for these are asAlbert Einstein said merely delusions of the
consciousness.
A human being is part of a whole, called by usthe Universe, a part limited in time and space.He experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings, as something separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.This delusion is a kind of prison for us,restricting us to our personal desires and toaffection for a few persons nearest us. Our taskmust be to free ourselves from this prison bywidening our circles of compassion to embraceall living creatures and the whole of nature inits beauty. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
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This publication is intended for anyoneresponsible for their own personal
performance or the professional productivity
of a team. These are not the superficial
flavor of the month ineffectual activities that
waste time on symptoms while ignoring
underlying causation. There are literally
hundreds of thousands of books published
every year of new things to do, while un-
doing the unconsciousness that causes our
distress is largely ignored.
Inside these pages you will find practical,
actionable ideas to fuel the conversations that
create lasting transformations. We live in a
culture that gorges itself on negative news
and then complains of the emotional
indigestion. These action steps are designed
to change lives by changing the dialogue we
have with ourselves and others. Affective
organizations are not the result of powerfulproclamations but continuous conversations.
I hope you will use this resource to stimulate
conversations that both inspire minds and
encourage hearts.
Randy
March 22, 2010
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The most important leadership skills are not in
managing people or projects, but in managing
attention. We are not trapped by positions,
conditions, or others, but by ideas. These are
often ideas we hold dearly. Instead of seeing
them as traps, we find identity in the comfort
of their predictability. This identity then
becomes part of our story, our boundaries, the
why that makes sense of us. These are not
head skills but heart skills, and where ourheart goes the rest will follow.
Randy Morgan CSPPresident of Morgan
Systems International
(MSI). Headquartered
in Boise, Idaho, MSI is
a full service training
and association
consulting company
that has served
members in more than 40 countries around
the world. As a Transformational Humorist,
Randy is sought after for his expertise in
Leadership, Customer Service and HumanPerformance.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
What do you mean by empowerment?....... 7Start from their perspective .......................... 8The dissolution of trust ................................. 9Encourage outrageous disregard ................ 10Putting who before what ............................. 16Be prepared to be tested ............................. 20Accept 100% accountability........................ 25Employees role in disengagement ............... 26Undoing the habit of unhappiness ........... 28Creating desirable consequences ................ 30
When is thinking not helpful? .................. 31What is the real cost of discontent? ............ 33Do less, understand more ........................... 34What energy do you resonate?.................... 37Becoming an indispensable employee ......... 38Ten actionable ideas for employers ............. 42How do you make everyone a teacher? ....... 46Why Red Shoes and Rubiks Cubes? ............ 49Join the conversation .................................. 51Endnotes ..................................................... 51
More reading recommendations
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY
EMPOWERMENT
?Leadership is often
admonished for their
seeming inability to engage
employees, but there is an
equal and shared
accountability on both
sides of the aisle. This is an
opportunity to heal the
separation through a
process of autopsy without
blame.
Lets look at this first from a
perspective of what
management can do to
close the wounds.
Top on my list of disenfranchisizing
dispositions is the Illusion of Inclusion.
Every business I have encountered espouses
their commitment to empowerment; yet in real
life most define Empowerment as: doing
what I would have done if I were there.
Everything else is either ignored or actively
discouraged.
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START FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE
An example from our business involves one of
our association clients who, though well
intentioned, lacked the defined business
systems to maximize their members
experience. We viewed this as an incredible
opportunity, and charged into the relationship
with relentless attempts to improve the
processes. Unfortunately our suggestions were
not viewed as improvements for the future but
criticisms of the past; and we received the
ever popular dont try tofix us response.
For this lesson to be valuable we must look at
it from the unique perspectives of employee
and employer.
As the employee or contractor this was my
fault entirely. I viewed the problem from my
perspective when I should have approached it
from theirs. In their view of the worldeverything was working well and they had
made excellent progress over the recent years.
From a Zen perspective their cup was already
fulland anything I added only created a mess
they wanted nothing to do with.
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Ideas in action:
Whether you are trying to implement
organizational change or encourage personal
growth, ALWAYS consider the experience from
their perspective.
The ONLY way you know their perspective is by
asking the right questions. In a coachingsession with the founder of the
Global Integrity Leadership Group, Mark Yeoell
shared You can lead with only one good
question in hand. I should have been more
patient and asked more questions, giving them
more time to discover the need themselves.
THE DISSOLUTION OF TRUST
The real price of disengaged employees though
is not in the loss of some incremental
improvement, but in the dissolution of trust.
When I was a child this was the ultimate
transgression.
I would be forgiven mistakes, but lying earned
a whack with the wooden spoon. The whack
we are earning by promising empowerment
and reinforcing compliance is a level of
employee dissatisfaction exceeding 54%.ii
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Would you be?
a) Outraged,b)Upsetc) Concernedd)Confusede) Stupefiedf) Elated
If you were Bill Ferrence, Manager of the
Boulder Dam Credit Union, the words tickled,delighted, overjoyed, humbled and grateful
would never be enough to describe the
significance of this gesture. This was not a
sign of protest, but one of solidarity to the core
principles that make BDCU a special place to
be part of for absolutely everyone - whether
you are a member of the staff, the Roto-Rooter
man, who would not take a fee for cleaning the
drains before a Saturday company picnic, or
the member who waits patiently at the door to
see a friendly face and, while he is there,
conduct some kind of financial transaction.
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Dis-ease is not a call for action, but for
understanding. Once we understand our why
we will each find our own unique how.
1. We each operate everyday out of amindset of scarcity or abundance, fear orlove. Whatever you extend to the worldwill be returned to you. Give that whichyou wish to receive.
2. Become aware of the stories going oninside your head. Notice whether theygive you pleasure or pain, and realizeyou are the author. If you dont like thestory, turn the page and begin again.
3. Do not write yourself into othersdramas. Each of us is the star,playwright and director of our ownpersonal plays. All of the othercharacters are merely projections of themain character. When someone attacksor belittles you, realize they are only
attacking themselves. Leave their playon their stage; go, and enjoy somepopcorn.
4. We are not thinking beings that havefeelings; we are feeling beings that havethoughts.
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Whether you are leading a business,
volunteer group, family or just
yourself, priming good feelings isyour most important job.
5. Cultivate an irreverence to fear. We livein a culture fascinated with failure anddominated by drama. Choose to believethat all things are possible and that will
be true for you.
6. Dont waste time TRYING to be positive.You are, under all the dysfunction, atyour core, an eternal optimist. Observea child learning to walk or a youngsterwith their first bike. This is who you are
beneath the unconsciousness. Changedoes not require effort, but awareness.
7. Efforts to resist negativity only createmore discontent. Instead, becomeconscious of your choices. Dont judge,blame or criticize; simply observe howyou feel and notice how you think. Wefeel the way we feel because we thinkthe way we think
It may now not surprise you to know that the
girl in the story above is still wearing the class
ring purchased for her by the BDCU staff when
her family could not afford to buy one.
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PUTTING WHO BEFORE WHAT
A trip to Ireland reminded us to slow down and
pay attention to our really important
connections. Irelands tourism industry has
enjoyed unprecedented growth, and their
research has shown that although people may
come to Ireland for the beauty and history,
what they invariably remember are the
people. Before we left I remember someone
saying, You will never meet a stranger. Even
in Dublin, with a population of well over a
million, they always seem to put people before
product. I believe the growth in their industry
(50% of which is fueled by US travelers) isdriven partially by this need to connect with
others.
We are electronically connected by cell phones,
email, social networking sites, Blackberrys but
the same things that provide a technological
interconnect result in a psychologicaldisconnect. When we returned from our trip we
found that Our Post Office Lady, Doddy, had
gone to sleep one night and never woke
up. We were surprised at how much this
impacted us emotionally. We werent social
friends, we didnt know her family, but she wasone of our lifes connections.
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We had no idea how he knew we were going to
be there and he didnt want to come in with
us. After the examination, Dr. Lung
commented to my wife about the family
resemblance and how much he appreciated Bill
coaching his daughters basketball team. I was
no longer a patient I was part of the
family. What do you do to make people more
than positions? How do you make realconnections, not just paper connections. The
most valuable resource for any organization is
the emotional commitment of its people. The
Tibetan greeting Tashi delek means I honor
the greatness in you. Help your team get to
know each other. There is greatness in all of
us.
BE PREPARED TO BE TESTED
I find that when you are trying to change
habits, life likes to test you. Although many of
our habits may not be effective, they are at
least predictable; and most people prefer the
predictability of pain to the pain of
unpredictability.
I have heard of people with the bedside
manner of a rattlesnake but I had never met
one until Monday. My sixty-seven year old,
one-hundred-ten-pound-soaking-wet mom was
in the hospital to have her lower back fused.
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We had spent the night before in theemergency room (the third night that week)
holding her while crippling back spasms
brought her to her knees, and everyone else to
tears. Unfortunately these were not new
symptoms but have become progressively
worse and consistently undiagnosed for twenty
years; with three doctors each concluding the
only solution was to treat the symptoms with a
strong pain injection and bed rest.
This doctor had been recommended as one of
the best skilled surgeons in the region. We
are, and he certainly is, confident in thatassertion. He had required my mom to
eliminate any pain medication she had been
using for a month prior to surgery to improve
the efficacy afterwards. It may improve
recovery, but it made for one of the most
miserable months in her life, and it was only
going to get worse.
The doctor arrived forty minutes before
surgery for his last-minute pep talk.
Apparently, for all of his extensive vocabulary,
he was unaware of the term pep as in
encouraging, inspiring or building confidence.
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Upon learning of my moms three excruciating
nights in the emergency room that week, he
expressed neither concern nor empathy, but
flew into a tirade about how
Maybe we should not even proceed with
this surgery if every time she experienced
pain she was going to wind up in the
emergency room.
He went on to assuage
her fears by explaining
that she had never
experienced pain like
this before; that having
three children and a 12gauge needle stuck in
her sinuses was
nothing compared to
what she was about to undergo. My mouth
was shut but my blood was boiling.
I find that when you are trying to change
habits, life tests you. Although many of our
habits may not be effective, they are at least
predictable; and most people prefer the
predictability of pain to the pain of
unpredictability.
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I had just been reading The Four Agreements
an outstanding book by Don Miguel Ruiz based
on thousand-year-old Toltec sciences from
Southern Mexico. The central theme of the
book is that we all make unconscious
agreements about how we perceive and
process the world that domesticate (and they
believe destroy) our true selves. For many
years I have espoused that we have all beenthe people we want to be, we have somehow
just forgotten. I for one have forgotten a lot.
The Four Agreements are new covenants wechoose to help us regain the lives we weremeant to live. One of the agreements is not
to take anything personally. This is a hardone for me. I have always taken great pride inthe fact that I do take things personallybecause I care deeply. The Toltec contentionis that, though positive feedback can lift us up,the need for reinforcement is a liability, andtaking criticism personally is a complete lapsein reality.
The foundation of the agreement is based on
the understanding that we all live in our own
worlds; created by our own unique
experiences, genetics and physiologies.
Because of this we consistently misunderstand
and misinterpret everything.
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If we take things personally we assume that
others somehow miraculously understand the
world we live in and we theirs. (If this doesnt
make sense to you I understand completely.
I have come up with a million reasons this isnot true but I also realize how incrediblyliberating it would be not to take thingspersonally.
Back to the hospital: This was not going to beone of those times. My mom was beingberated by this pint-sized doctor just momentsbefore very serious surgery. I wanted to riphis lungs out. I had spent many yearsdeveloping this habit of taking things
personally and I wasnt going to change iteasily. In Context (a transformational trainingprogram) they called it positionrelease; Letting go of things that dont work.
I have the not-so-unusual ability to maintainmany habits that dont work well at all. Butthat doesnt keep me from trying.
We are not our actions, we are thatwhich acts; and we act on the best
awareness at that time.I was working on anew awareness.
I remembered a phrase I had just beenteaching; The problem I am having with
_______ is me.
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I would like to say I handled it perfectly fromthere, but I didnt. I eventually calmed down
enough to talk to one of the nurses attendingduring surgery to share our concerns and feltwe had finally been listened to.
But how much better would the situation have
been if I didnt take things personally? I would
have listened better, asked better questions
and maybe sent my mom into that operating
room with a better state of mind.
Where there is anger there is always fear. I
needed to address my fear. Several years ago
I was given part of Nelson Mandelas 1994
inaugural speech and to be honest, I didnt get
it, until recently.
Our deepest fear is not that we areinadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
What would we be like if we were powerfulbeyond measure? Not with arrogance that
belies insecurity, but with a calmunderstanding that you were put here for areason with all the skills, time and energy todo whatever you are called upon to do.
ACCEPT 100% ACCOUNTABILITY
The key to the truth is in accepting 100%
accountability for where you are right now.
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It may be valuable to realize that for being a
highly evolved species we are not very evolved
at all. Logic and reasoning are vastly
overmatched when competing for the center
stage of our attention.
We are not thinking beings that have feelings;
we are feeling beings that have thoughts.
Every one of those thoughts is bathed in theemotions that surround every cell in our
bodies. This is something we all KNOW
without question, and yet many leave it to
chance, Karma or accidental chemistry to
createesprit de corpsin our workplace.
We comfort ourselves in the illusion that
satisfied customers are the path to future
success, when the most accurate metric is
actually the ratio of employee satisfaction to
customer satisfaction.
The more satisfied
employees are the more
they radiate that energy
to everyone they touch.
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WHAT ENERGY DO YOU RESONATE?
We are all simply energy, and that energyresonates in the frequency of our emotions.
You dont have to be a football or Vikings fan
to appreciate the energy Brett Favre generates
with his enthusiasm.
Didnt anyone tell him he wasnt supposed to
act like this at forty? Or maybe he is showingus we should?
The Four Agreements puts it very simply:We
are who we are at our best when we are
children, after that we become domesticated.
Has your business become too domesticated?
Has your team forgotten that life (including
work) is supposed to be fun? We cannot
change all the forces or turmoil around us.
Once you understand the current issues some
other crises will befall us but understanding
how to manage your
emotions and those ofothers will change
EVERYTHING in your
life.
Life is not waiting
for the storm to pass.
It is learning to dance
in the rain.
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BECOMING AN INDISPENSABLE EMPLOYEE
If you are looking for advice on advancedsucking up, or tooting your own horn, this will
not be the place to find it. I have also chosen
not to include tips on negotiation, boundary
management, job hunting or dealing with
difficult people. The only difficult person I
will address in these ten steps is you.
Believe it or not this is the best news you have
heard all day because the only person you will
ever be able to change is yourself. The good
news is you are the only person you need to
change to have what Kenny Loggins described
in his book as The Unimagined Life.
If the ideas make little or no sense or they
make you angry, join the club. I have been
studying these ideas for thirty years. Every
day I rediscover ways to enjoy life more
completely by being conscious of my choices.
If you would like to know more about the
sources of these ideas or debate their value,they will be posted on my blog, or contact me
directly atrandy@randymorgan.com.
Please dont just discard these ideas. There
are many easier, and as I have just been
reminded by my staff, more commercial ideas I
could share, but these are ten I KNOW willmake the biggest difference.
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1. LIFE IS A LESSON: It does not matterwhether you believe there is a higher power
or you are in this on your own; believingthere is a lesson in all we experience is apowerful tool to opening your mind to newopportunities. Use this as a time not totake new action, but to create newunderstanding.
2.ACCEPT 100% ACCOUNTABILITY:Accountability is different thanresponsibility. Accountability has nohistory, no baggage. It does not matterhow you got here, who your boss orcoworkers are. You are the creator of yourexperience.
3. BE SELF EMPLOYED: Regardless of who youwork for, approach every day as if this isyour own business. Whether your employerappreciates all the extrathings you do is of littleconsequence. The importantthing is who you become.
Everything else can be takenaway, but who you becomein the process is by far yourgreatest job benefit.
4. FORGIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGESPECIALLY YOURSELF: Resentment,
remorse, blame, guilt, shame are on thevery bottom of the negative energy scale.
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Using these emotions to motivate change is
like pouring gasoline on a house to heat it.
5. CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE: We just haveto listen in to any break room conversationto hear stories of how stressed, frustrated,bored, distracted, or 100 other _______edspeople might be. Each loaded with negativeenergy and each blaming someone orsomething for their situation. The next timeyou are tempted to end your favoriteadjective with a passive ed try an activeing for a more accurate description.
6. BECOME AN OBSERVER: Learn to observeyour own innerdialogue. No one
speaks to us morethan we do, and yetmost of theconversation goes onunconsciously andunchallenged.
7. TALK NICE: Studieshave shown thatmore than 77% of our own self talk iscritical in nature. We say things toourselves we would never allow others tosay, and then direct this dialogue to othersas well. Every thought, every word has aresonance, and that energy that eitherbuilds us up or tears us down.
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We feel the way we feel
because we think the way we think.
TEN ACTIONABLE IDEAS FOR EMPLOYERS
These ideas apply to everyone. Regardless of
role or position we all benefit from a process of
inspired collaboration.
1. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN: Our greatestobstacle to growth is not what we dont
know, but what we think we do know. Use
Employee Satisfaction results as an
opportunity to make sure your employees
are enthusiastic, engaged and empowered.
Use anonymous employee surveys and ask
that all-important question what do we dostupid around here?
Would you be outraged if your employees
showed up for an important staff meeting in
pajamas? Use this link to see how one
manager creates an environment where 82%
of employees rate their workplace either a 4 or5, as a fun place to work. (5 being it is so
much fun I would pay THEM to work here!).
2. ACT: If you get feedback, whether positiveor negative, appreciate it and act on it.
Feedback from either customers or
employees is a gift, treat it as such.
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5. FORGIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGESPECIALLY YOURSELF: We all do the
best we can at the time. There is no value
in blaming, criticizing or judging anyone.
ANYTIME you blame anyone you are
physically attacking your own body.
6. TREAT EVERYONE AS A VOLUNTEER -because they are. People will do what is
expected because they are required, but
they will do the exceptional when they are
inspired. Always remember The deepest
craving in human nature is the craving to beappreciated. William James
7. GIVE UNREASONABLE FREEDOM: We allhave rules imposed upon us that we can do
nothing about we also have self imposed
rules that inhibit performance, stifle
productivity and produce unnecessarystress.
The European Heart Journal, January 23, 2008
published an article revealing that Workload
or responsibility had little relation to stress
levels. Rather it was how much control an
employee had over the work he did and howhe did it.
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8. DONT TAKE FEEDBACK (ANYTHING)PERSONALLY. In Step 4 I said you have all
the power, which is absolutely true; but the
only person you have that power over is
you. In this way, you determine how you
feel; your employees do the same. Great
leaders help people understand the power
of our personal stories.
Stress is not a characteristic of our times,
but of our stories.
9. SHARE THE SCORE: Examine your systemsfor measuring, sharing, engaging and
rewarding employees for continually
improving the process. 75-85% of the
reason we achieve great results is through
creating desirable consequences. See
http://ServiceWOW.org for a free
whitepaper to help you evaluate your
systems.
10. BE A GREAT TEACHER: The ultimategoal of every profession is to make the
world a better place. As a leader you have
the opportunity to help your employees
learn the most important lessons of all -
lessons about themselves.
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HOW DO YOU MAKE EVERYONE A TEACHER?
When asked what people want most from their
career, they express a wide range of desires
from challenge to authority, meaning, money,
growth, and opportunity; but when asked why
they want each of those things the answer
comes down to one - they want to be happy.
Great teachers, through experience and
example, teach everyone they touch that
happiness is always an inside job.
Each of these Action Steps provided could
easily be a chapter in your Play Book. If they
are things you are already doing, take this
time to celebrate WITH YOUR TEAM. We all
want to feel we are part of something special;
but in the midst of the battle we forget all we
have to be grateful for. If any of these ideas
strike your fancy and you would like to do
more here are ten steps for one very Affective*plan for implementation.
1. MAKE EVERYONE A TEACHER: The bestway to learn anything is to teach it. Ask
members to select the topics that resonate
most with them and have them prepare and
train the team on that topic. MAKE SURETHEY ARE SUCCESSFUL.
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One of the key lessons the founder of Sylvan
Learning Centers Berry Fowler taught me was,
We dont teach people to make them
successful, we make them successful to
teach them.
2. MAKE LEARNING A PRIORITY: Growingpeople should not be something you do if
you have the time. Make the time and
make it important. If your people dont
grow, neither will your organization.
3. CLEARLY DEFINE EXPECTATIONS: If peopledont know exactly what to expect they will
instinctively fall into the fear mode. Define
the time their presentation should take,whether handouts are required, and what
kind of progress you want to see and when.
4. DEFINE PROGRESS: Schedule check-in andstatus dates to review progress.
5. TEAMS: Use presentation teams tobreakdown departmental or personal
barriers.
6. ADDRESS CHALLENGES: Assign opportunity people with the topic that
most fits their personal growth needs.
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7. SUPPORT RESEARCH: Provide resourceslike books, tapes, articles (or have them
write me for assistance). The greatest
value of this exercise is not in the
presentation, but the preparation.
8. DRESS REHEARSAL: Meet with teampresenters in advance to review both
presentation and materials.
You can also assign team members to perform
this function therefore giving all members the
opportunity to both present and coach.
Include presentation skills. Speaking in front
of a group is a frightening experience for
many. Use this as an opportunity to enhancethose skills as well.
9. REVIEW PROGRESS: Begin each newtraining session with a review, quiz or
sharing session of how the previous lesson
had been put into practice. Remember
that it is easy to begin things. It is
difficult to keep the conversation going.
REWARD EFFORT: Appreciate
super success, fabulous failures
and everything in between.
Where we stumble, there liesour treasure.Joseph Campbell
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WHY RED SHOES AND RUBIKS CUBES?
My Red High Tops are intended first to breakdown fear, which is the greatest obstacle to
any kind of learning. Second they are a
mnemonic device to facilitate retention and
generate conversation. The shoes represent
five key points propelling the ideas shared into
action.
1. GET IN THE GAME: Itis easy to sit on the
sidelines and have
permanent potential
or to be perpetually
critical. The clock is ticking; play while you
have the chance.
2. ADAPT TO CHANGING DIRECTIONS: Theshoes are high tops to provide support
unlike running shoes for following a
continuous path. We must consistently find
new ways of doing things, change directionsand pick ourselves up at least one more
time than we fall down.
3. KEEP IT SIMPLE: I selected Converse AllStars (long before they were
popular..again) because they are virtually
the same as they were when they were
made more than 80 years ago.
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