Three Legged Leadership

8/8/2019 Three Legged Leadership

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Everyone thinks of changing the world,

but no one thinks of changing himself.Leo Tolstoy
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The three-legged stool has been used for

everything from a projectmanagement metaphor to the

best selling seat for milking

cows. Its utility lies in its

ability to create stability on

uneven ground. It is for

that sure footedness that thisdocument was created. We

live in a time where the un-

insured and the un-assured are equally

vulnerable to debilitating dis-ease. Consumer

confidence is at an all-time low along with job

satisfaction and employee engagement.

But what is the foundation of our discontent?

Is it the shaky economy that undermines our

confidence, or is our shaky confidence

undermining our economy? Since our physical

capacity to produce has not changed, the

answer lies not in our ability but our mobility.

Fear produces stagnation and without

movement everything dies.

Progress is the lifeblood of employee

confidence, and a confident employee is nine

times more likely to be engaged as an

uncertain one.

i
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Three Legged Leadership is about re-instilling

confidence in teams by reconnecting with the

stable ground within ourselves. Although

this resource defines actions with and for

others, its primary focus is you. We cannot

lead others until we first learn to lead

ourselves.

We are not a reflection of our world;

our world is a reflection of us.

The legs of the stool represent Awareness,

Honesty and Action, all connected together to

support the Self. The Self should not be

confused with the isolated ego or finite

package of skin and bones, for these are asAlbert Einstein said merely delusions of the

consciousness.

A human being is part of a whole, called by usthe Universe, a part limited in time and space.He experiences himself, his thoughts and

feelings, as something separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.This delusion is a kind of prison for us,restricting us to our personal desires and toaffection for a few persons nearest us. Our taskmust be to free ourselves from this prison bywidening our circles of compassion to embraceall living creatures and the whole of nature inits beauty. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)


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This publication is intended for anyoneresponsible for their own personal

performance or the professional productivity

of a team. These are not the superficial

flavor of the month ineffectual activities that

waste time on symptoms while ignoring

underlying causation. There are literally

hundreds of thousands of books published

every year of new things to do, while un-

doing the unconsciousness that causes our

distress is largely ignored.

Inside these pages you will find practical,

actionable ideas to fuel the conversations that

create lasting transformations. We live in a

culture that gorges itself on negative news

and then complains of the emotional

indigestion. These action steps are designed

to change lives by changing the dialogue we

have with ourselves and others. Affective

organizations are not the result of powerfulproclamations but continuous conversations.

I hope you will use this resource to stimulate

conversations that both inspire minds and

encourage hearts.

Randy

March 22, 2010


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The most important leadership skills are not in

managing people or projects, but in managing

attention. We are not trapped by positions,

conditions, or others, but by ideas. These are

often ideas we hold dearly. Instead of seeing

them as traps, we find identity in the comfort

of their predictability. This identity then

becomes part of our story, our boundaries, the

why that makes sense of us. These are not

head skills but heart skills, and where ourheart goes the rest will follow.

Randy Morgan CSPPresident of Morgan

Systems International

(MSI). Headquartered

in Boise, Idaho, MSI is

a full service training

and association

consulting company

that has served

members in more than 40 countries around

the world. As a Transformational Humorist,

Randy is sought after for his expertise in

Leadership, Customer Service and HumanPerformance.


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TABLE OF CONTENTS

What do you mean by empowerment?....... 7Start from their perspective .......................... 8The dissolution of trust ................................. 9Encourage outrageous disregard ................ 10Putting who before what ............................. 16Be prepared to be tested ............................. 20Accept 100% accountability........................ 25Employees role in disengagement ............... 26Undoing the habit of unhappiness ........... 28Creating desirable consequences ................ 30

When is thinking not helpful? .................. 31What is the real cost of discontent? ............ 33Do less, understand more ........................... 34What energy do you resonate?.................... 37Becoming an indispensable employee ......... 38Ten actionable ideas for employers ............. 42How do you make everyone a teacher? ....... 46Why Red Shoes and Rubiks Cubes? ............ 49Join the conversation .................................. 51Endnotes ..................................................... 51

More reading recommendations
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY

EMPOWERMENT

?Leadership is often

admonished for their

seeming inability to engage

employees, but there is an

equal and shared

accountability on both

sides of the aisle. This is an

opportunity to heal the

separation through a

process of autopsy without

blame.

Lets look at this first from a

perspective of what

management can do to

close the wounds.

Top on my list of disenfranchisizing

dispositions is the Illusion of Inclusion.

Every business I have encountered espouses

their commitment to empowerment; yet in real

life most define Empowerment as: doing

what I would have done if I were there.

Everything else is either ignored or actively

discouraged.


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START FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE

An example from our business involves one of

our association clients who, though well

intentioned, lacked the defined business

systems to maximize their members

experience. We viewed this as an incredible

opportunity, and charged into the relationship

with relentless attempts to improve the

processes. Unfortunately our suggestions were

not viewed as improvements for the future but

criticisms of the past; and we received the

ever popular dont try tofix us response.

For this lesson to be valuable we must look at

it from the unique perspectives of employee

and employer.

As the employee or contractor this was my

fault entirely. I viewed the problem from my

perspective when I should have approached it

from theirs. In their view of the worldeverything was working well and they had

made excellent progress over the recent years.

From a Zen perspective their cup was already

fulland anything I added only created a mess

they wanted nothing to do with.


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Ideas in action:

Whether you are trying to implement

organizational change or encourage personal

growth, ALWAYS consider the experience from

their perspective.

The ONLY way you know their perspective is by

asking the right questions. In a coachingsession with the founder of the

Global Integrity Leadership Group, Mark Yeoell

shared You can lead with only one good

question in hand. I should have been more

patient and asked more questions, giving them

more time to discover the need themselves.

THE DISSOLUTION OF TRUST

The real price of disengaged employees though

is not in the loss of some incremental

improvement, but in the dissolution of trust.

When I was a child this was the ultimate

transgression.

I would be forgiven mistakes, but lying earned

a whack with the wooden spoon. The whack

we are earning by promising empowerment

and reinforcing compliance is a level of

employee dissatisfaction exceeding 54%.ii
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Would you be?

a) Outraged,b)Upsetc) Concernedd)Confusede) Stupefiedf) Elated

If you were Bill Ferrence, Manager of the

Boulder Dam Credit Union, the words tickled,delighted, overjoyed, humbled and grateful

would never be enough to describe the

significance of this gesture. This was not a

sign of protest, but one of solidarity to the core

principles that make BDCU a special place to

be part of for absolutely everyone - whether

you are a member of the staff, the Roto-Rooter

man, who would not take a fee for cleaning the

drains before a Saturday company picnic, or

the member who waits patiently at the door to

see a friendly face and, while he is there,

conduct some kind of financial transaction.


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Dis-ease is not a call for action, but for

understanding. Once we understand our why

we will each find our own unique how.

1. We each operate everyday out of amindset of scarcity or abundance, fear orlove. Whatever you extend to the worldwill be returned to you. Give that whichyou wish to receive.

2. Become aware of the stories going oninside your head. Notice whether theygive you pleasure or pain, and realizeyou are the author. If you dont like thestory, turn the page and begin again.

3. Do not write yourself into othersdramas. Each of us is the star,playwright and director of our ownpersonal plays. All of the othercharacters are merely projections of themain character. When someone attacksor belittles you, realize they are only

attacking themselves. Leave their playon their stage; go, and enjoy somepopcorn.

4. We are not thinking beings that havefeelings; we are feeling beings that havethoughts.


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Whether you are leading a business,

volunteer group, family or just

yourself, priming good feelings isyour most important job.

5. Cultivate an irreverence to fear. We livein a culture fascinated with failure anddominated by drama. Choose to believethat all things are possible and that will

be true for you.

6. Dont waste time TRYING to be positive.You are, under all the dysfunction, atyour core, an eternal optimist. Observea child learning to walk or a youngsterwith their first bike. This is who you are

beneath the unconsciousness. Changedoes not require effort, but awareness.

7. Efforts to resist negativity only createmore discontent. Instead, becomeconscious of your choices. Dont judge,blame or criticize; simply observe howyou feel and notice how you think. Wefeel the way we feel because we thinkthe way we think

It may now not surprise you to know that the

girl in the story above is still wearing the class

ring purchased for her by the BDCU staff when

her family could not afford to buy one.


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PUTTING WHO BEFORE WHAT

A trip to Ireland reminded us to slow down and

pay attention to our really important

connections. Irelands tourism industry has

enjoyed unprecedented growth, and their

research has shown that although people may

come to Ireland for the beauty and history,

what they invariably remember are the

people. Before we left I remember someone

saying, You will never meet a stranger. Even

in Dublin, with a population of well over a

million, they always seem to put people before

product. I believe the growth in their industry

(50% of which is fueled by US travelers) isdriven partially by this need to connect with

others.

We are electronically connected by cell phones,

email, social networking sites, Blackberrys but

the same things that provide a technological

interconnect result in a psychologicaldisconnect. When we returned from our trip we

found that Our Post Office Lady, Doddy, had

gone to sleep one night and never woke

up. We were surprised at how much this

impacted us emotionally. We werent social

friends, we didnt know her family, but she wasone of our lifes connections.


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We had no idea how he knew we were going to

be there and he didnt want to come in with

us. After the examination, Dr. Lung

commented to my wife about the family

resemblance and how much he appreciated Bill

coaching his daughters basketball team. I was

no longer a patient I was part of the

family. What do you do to make people more

than positions? How do you make realconnections, not just paper connections. The

most valuable resource for any organization is

the emotional commitment of its people. The

Tibetan greeting Tashi delek means I honor

the greatness in you. Help your team get to

know each other. There is greatness in all of

us.

BE PREPARED TO BE TESTED

I find that when you are trying to change

habits, life likes to test you. Although many of

our habits may not be effective, they are at

least predictable; and most people prefer the

predictability of pain to the pain of

unpredictability.

I have heard of people with the bedside

manner of a rattlesnake but I had never met

one until Monday. My sixty-seven year old,

one-hundred-ten-pound-soaking-wet mom was

in the hospital to have her lower back fused.


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We had spent the night before in theemergency room (the third night that week)

holding her while crippling back spasms

brought her to her knees, and everyone else to

tears. Unfortunately these were not new

symptoms but have become progressively

worse and consistently undiagnosed for twenty

years; with three doctors each concluding the

only solution was to treat the symptoms with a

strong pain injection and bed rest.

This doctor had been recommended as one of

the best skilled surgeons in the region. We

are, and he certainly is, confident in thatassertion. He had required my mom to

eliminate any pain medication she had been

using for a month prior to surgery to improve

the efficacy afterwards. It may improve

recovery, but it made for one of the most

miserable months in her life, and it was only

going to get worse.

The doctor arrived forty minutes before

surgery for his last-minute pep talk.

Apparently, for all of his extensive vocabulary,

he was unaware of the term pep as in

encouraging, inspiring or building confidence.


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Upon learning of my moms three excruciating

nights in the emergency room that week, he

expressed neither concern nor empathy, but

flew into a tirade about how

Maybe we should not even proceed with

this surgery if every time she experienced

pain she was going to wind up in the

emergency room.

He went on to assuage

her fears by explaining

that she had never

experienced pain like

this before; that having

three children and a 12gauge needle stuck in

her sinuses was

nothing compared to

what she was about to undergo. My mouth

was shut but my blood was boiling.

I find that when you are trying to change

habits, life tests you. Although many of our

habits may not be effective, they are at least

predictable; and most people prefer the

predictability of pain to the pain of

unpredictability.


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I had just been reading The Four Agreements

an outstanding book by Don Miguel Ruiz based

on thousand-year-old Toltec sciences from

Southern Mexico. The central theme of the

book is that we all make unconscious

agreements about how we perceive and

process the world that domesticate (and they

believe destroy) our true selves. For many

years I have espoused that we have all beenthe people we want to be, we have somehow

just forgotten. I for one have forgotten a lot.

The Four Agreements are new covenants wechoose to help us regain the lives we weremeant to live. One of the agreements is not

to take anything personally. This is a hardone for me. I have always taken great pride inthe fact that I do take things personallybecause I care deeply. The Toltec contentionis that, though positive feedback can lift us up,the need for reinforcement is a liability, andtaking criticism personally is a complete lapsein reality.

The foundation of the agreement is based on

the understanding that we all live in our own

worlds; created by our own unique

experiences, genetics and physiologies.

Because of this we consistently misunderstand

and misinterpret everything.


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If we take things personally we assume that

others somehow miraculously understand the

world we live in and we theirs. (If this doesnt

make sense to you I understand completely.

I have come up with a million reasons this isnot true but I also realize how incrediblyliberating it would be not to take thingspersonally.

Back to the hospital: This was not going to beone of those times. My mom was beingberated by this pint-sized doctor just momentsbefore very serious surgery. I wanted to riphis lungs out. I had spent many yearsdeveloping this habit of taking things

personally and I wasnt going to change iteasily. In Context (a transformational trainingprogram) they called it positionrelease; Letting go of things that dont work.

I have the not-so-unusual ability to maintainmany habits that dont work well at all. Butthat doesnt keep me from trying.

We are not our actions, we are thatwhich acts; and we act on the best

awareness at that time.I was working on anew awareness.

I remembered a phrase I had just beenteaching; The problem I am having with

_______ is me.


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I would like to say I handled it perfectly fromthere, but I didnt. I eventually calmed down

enough to talk to one of the nurses attendingduring surgery to share our concerns and feltwe had finally been listened to.

But how much better would the situation have

been if I didnt take things personally? I would

have listened better, asked better questions

and maybe sent my mom into that operating

room with a better state of mind.

Where there is anger there is always fear. I

needed to address my fear. Several years ago

I was given part of Nelson Mandelas 1994

inaugural speech and to be honest, I didnt get

it, until recently.

Our deepest fear is not that we areinadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are

powerful beyond measure.

What would we be like if we were powerfulbeyond measure? Not with arrogance that

belies insecurity, but with a calmunderstanding that you were put here for areason with all the skills, time and energy todo whatever you are called upon to do.

ACCEPT 100% ACCOUNTABILITY

The key to the truth is in accepting 100%

accountability for where you are right now.


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It may be valuable to realize that for being a

highly evolved species we are not very evolved

at all. Logic and reasoning are vastly

overmatched when competing for the center

stage of our attention.

We are not thinking beings that have feelings;

we are feeling beings that have thoughts.

Every one of those thoughts is bathed in theemotions that surround every cell in our

bodies. This is something we all KNOW

without question, and yet many leave it to

chance, Karma or accidental chemistry to

createesprit de corpsin our workplace.

We comfort ourselves in the illusion that

satisfied customers are the path to future

success, when the most accurate metric is

actually the ratio of employee satisfaction to

customer satisfaction.

The more satisfied

employees are the more

they radiate that energy

to everyone they touch.


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WHAT ENERGY DO YOU RESONATE?

We are all simply energy, and that energyresonates in the frequency of our emotions.

You dont have to be a football or Vikings fan

to appreciate the energy Brett Favre generates

with his enthusiasm.

Didnt anyone tell him he wasnt supposed to

act like this at forty? Or maybe he is showingus we should?

The Four Agreements puts it very simply:We

are who we are at our best when we are

children, after that we become domesticated.

Has your business become too domesticated?

Has your team forgotten that life (including

work) is supposed to be fun? We cannot

change all the forces or turmoil around us.

Once you understand the current issues some

other crises will befall us but understanding

how to manage your

emotions and those ofothers will change

EVERYTHING in your

life.

Life is not waiting

for the storm to pass.

It is learning to dance

in the rain.


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BECOMING AN INDISPENSABLE EMPLOYEE

If you are looking for advice on advancedsucking up, or tooting your own horn, this will

not be the place to find it. I have also chosen

not to include tips on negotiation, boundary

management, job hunting or dealing with

difficult people. The only difficult person I

will address in these ten steps is you.

Believe it or not this is the best news you have

heard all day because the only person you will

ever be able to change is yourself. The good

news is you are the only person you need to

change to have what Kenny Loggins described

in his book as The Unimagined Life.

If the ideas make little or no sense or they

make you angry, join the club. I have been

studying these ideas for thirty years. Every

day I rediscover ways to enjoy life more

completely by being conscious of my choices.

If you would like to know more about the

sources of these ideas or debate their value,they will be posted on my blog, or contact me

directly [email protected].

Please dont just discard these ideas. There

are many easier, and as I have just been

reminded by my staff, more commercial ideas I

could share, but these are ten I KNOW willmake the biggest difference.
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1. LIFE IS A LESSON: It does not matterwhether you believe there is a higher power

or you are in this on your own; believingthere is a lesson in all we experience is apowerful tool to opening your mind to newopportunities. Use this as a time not totake new action, but to create newunderstanding.

2.ACCEPT 100% ACCOUNTABILITY:Accountability is different thanresponsibility. Accountability has nohistory, no baggage. It does not matterhow you got here, who your boss orcoworkers are. You are the creator of yourexperience.

3. BE SELF EMPLOYED: Regardless of who youwork for, approach every day as if this isyour own business. Whether your employerappreciates all the extrathings you do is of littleconsequence. The importantthing is who you become.

Everything else can be takenaway, but who you becomein the process is by far yourgreatest job benefit.

4. FORGIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGESPECIALLY YOURSELF: Resentment,

remorse, blame, guilt, shame are on thevery bottom of the negative energy scale.


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Using these emotions to motivate change is

like pouring gasoline on a house to heat it.

5. CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE: We just haveto listen in to any break room conversationto hear stories of how stressed, frustrated,bored, distracted, or 100 other _______edspeople might be. Each loaded with negativeenergy and each blaming someone orsomething for their situation. The next timeyou are tempted to end your favoriteadjective with a passive ed try an activeing for a more accurate description.

6. BECOME AN OBSERVER: Learn to observeyour own innerdialogue. No one

speaks to us morethan we do, and yetmost of theconversation goes onunconsciously andunchallenged.

7. TALK NICE: Studieshave shown thatmore than 77% of our own self talk iscritical in nature. We say things toourselves we would never allow others tosay, and then direct this dialogue to othersas well. Every thought, every word has aresonance, and that energy that eitherbuilds us up or tears us down.


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We feel the way we feel

because we think the way we think.

TEN ACTIONABLE IDEAS FOR EMPLOYERS

These ideas apply to everyone. Regardless of

role or position we all benefit from a process of

inspired collaboration.

1. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN: Our greatestobstacle to growth is not what we dont

know, but what we think we do know. Use

Employee Satisfaction results as an

opportunity to make sure your employees

are enthusiastic, engaged and empowered.

Use anonymous employee surveys and ask

that all-important question what do we dostupid around here?

Would you be outraged if your employees

showed up for an important staff meeting in

pajamas? Use this link to see how one

manager creates an environment where 82%

of employees rate their workplace either a 4 or5, as a fun place to work. (5 being it is so

much fun I would pay THEM to work here!).

2. ACT: If you get feedback, whether positiveor negative, appreciate it and act on it.

Feedback from either customers or

employees is a gift, treat it as such.
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5. FORGIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGESPECIALLY YOURSELF: We all do the

best we can at the time. There is no value

in blaming, criticizing or judging anyone.

ANYTIME you blame anyone you are

physically attacking your own body.

6. TREAT EVERYONE AS A VOLUNTEER -because they are. People will do what is

expected because they are required, but

they will do the exceptional when they are

inspired. Always remember The deepest

craving in human nature is the craving to beappreciated. William James

7. GIVE UNREASONABLE FREEDOM: We allhave rules imposed upon us that we can do

nothing about we also have self imposed

rules that inhibit performance, stifle

productivity and produce unnecessarystress.

The European Heart Journal, January 23, 2008

published an article revealing that Workload

or responsibility had little relation to stress

levels. Rather it was how much control an

employee had over the work he did and howhe did it.


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8. DONT TAKE FEEDBACK (ANYTHING)PERSONALLY. In Step 4 I said you have all

the power, which is absolutely true; but the

only person you have that power over is

you. In this way, you determine how you

feel; your employees do the same. Great

leaders help people understand the power

of our personal stories.

Stress is not a characteristic of our times,

but of our stories.

9. SHARE THE SCORE: Examine your systemsfor measuring, sharing, engaging and

rewarding employees for continually

improving the process. 75-85% of the

reason we achieve great results is through

creating desirable consequences. See

http://ServiceWOW.org for a free

whitepaper to help you evaluate your

systems.

10. BE A GREAT TEACHER: The ultimategoal of every profession is to make the

world a better place. As a leader you have

the opportunity to help your employees

learn the most important lessons of all -

lessons about themselves.
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HOW DO YOU MAKE EVERYONE A TEACHER?

When asked what people want most from their

career, they express a wide range of desires

from challenge to authority, meaning, money,

growth, and opportunity; but when asked why

they want each of those things the answer

comes down to one - they want to be happy.

Great teachers, through experience and

example, teach everyone they touch that

happiness is always an inside job.

Each of these Action Steps provided could

easily be a chapter in your Play Book. If they

are things you are already doing, take this

time to celebrate WITH YOUR TEAM. We all

want to feel we are part of something special;

but in the midst of the battle we forget all we

have to be grateful for. If any of these ideas

strike your fancy and you would like to do

more here are ten steps for one very Affective*plan for implementation.

1. MAKE EVERYONE A TEACHER: The bestway to learn anything is to teach it. Ask

members to select the topics that resonate

most with them and have them prepare and

train the team on that topic. MAKE SURETHEY ARE SUCCESSFUL.


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One of the key lessons the founder of Sylvan

Learning Centers Berry Fowler taught me was,

We dont teach people to make them

successful, we make them successful to

teach them.

2. MAKE LEARNING A PRIORITY: Growingpeople should not be something you do if

you have the time. Make the time and

make it important. If your people dont

grow, neither will your organization.

3. CLEARLY DEFINE EXPECTATIONS: If peopledont know exactly what to expect they will

instinctively fall into the fear mode. Define

the time their presentation should take,whether handouts are required, and what

kind of progress you want to see and when.

4. DEFINE PROGRESS: Schedule check-in andstatus dates to review progress.

5. TEAMS: Use presentation teams tobreakdown departmental or personal

barriers.

6. ADDRESS CHALLENGES: Assign opportunity people with the topic that

most fits their personal growth needs.


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7. SUPPORT RESEARCH: Provide resourceslike books, tapes, articles (or have them

write me for assistance). The greatest

value of this exercise is not in the

presentation, but the preparation.

8. DRESS REHEARSAL: Meet with teampresenters in advance to review both

presentation and materials.

You can also assign team members to perform

this function therefore giving all members the

opportunity to both present and coach.

Include presentation skills. Speaking in front

of a group is a frightening experience for

many. Use this as an opportunity to enhancethose skills as well.

9. REVIEW PROGRESS: Begin each newtraining session with a review, quiz or

sharing session of how the previous lesson

had been put into practice. Remember

that it is easy to begin things. It is

difficult to keep the conversation going.

REWARD EFFORT: Appreciate

super success, fabulous failures

and everything in between.

Where we stumble, there liesour treasure.Joseph Campbell


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WHY RED SHOES AND RUBIKS CUBES?

My Red High Tops are intended first to breakdown fear, which is the greatest obstacle to

any kind of learning. Second they are a

mnemonic device to facilitate retention and

generate conversation. The shoes represent

five key points propelling the ideas shared into

action.

1. GET IN THE GAME: Itis easy to sit on the

sidelines and have

permanent potential

or to be perpetually

critical. The clock is ticking; play while you

have the chance.

2. ADAPT TO CHANGING DIRECTIONS: Theshoes are high tops to provide support

unlike running shoes for following a

continuous path. We must consistently find

new ways of doing things, change directionsand pick ourselves up at least one more

time than we fall down.

3. KEEP IT SIMPLE: I selected Converse AllStars (long before they were

popular..again) because they are virtually

the same as they were when they were

made more than 80 years ago.


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Three Legged Leadership

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