Post on 18-Jan-2015
description
Oops!I didn’t mean it to come out that way!
Scott “Q” MarcusCRP, www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt@ThisTimeIMeanIt1
(a.k.a “How to spend more time getting what you want
and less time STRESSING over what you didn’t.”)
Wednesday, December 18, 13
2
What You’re Looking For
Wednesday, December 18, 13
2
What You’re Looking For
Speaking to Groups28%
Understand Attitude17%
Persuasive13%
Difficult People19%
General Knowledge23%
Wednesday, December 18, 13
3
Your Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
3
Your Attitude
Pretty Good69%
Extremely Upbeat10%
Average19%
Below Average1%
79%
Wednesday, December 18, 13
3
Your Attitude
Pretty Good69%
Extremely Upbeat10%
Average19%
Below Average1%
79%(57%)
Wednesday, December 18, 13
2
Co-Workers’
4
Pretty Good49%
Extremely Upbeat3%
Average36%
Below Average10%
Extremely Poor1%
52%
Wednesday, December 18, 13
2
Co-Workers’
4
Pretty Good49%
Extremely Upbeat3%
Average36%
Below Average10%
Extremely Poor1%
52%(50%)
Wednesday, December 18, 13
25
Others’
Extremely Upbeat1%
Pretty Good30%
Average57%
Below Average12%
31%
Wednesday, December 18, 13
25
Others’
Extremely Upbeat1%
Pretty Good30%
Average57%
Below Average12%
31%(36%)
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Albert Mehrabian [Nonverbal Communication (Chicago: Aldine-Atherton, 1972)]
Non Verbal55%
Use of Voice38%
Verbal7%
Attitude Talks
6
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Albert Mehrabian [Nonverbal Communication (Chicago: Aldine-Atherton, 1972)]
Non Verbal55%
Use of Voice38%
Verbal7%
Attitude Talks
6
93%
Wednesday, December 18, 13
7
Perceptions
Wednesday, December 18, 13
7
Perceptions
Wednesday, December 18, 13
7
Perceptions
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
9
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
9
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Talks
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Attitude
“Complex interaction between feelings and beliefs that affect how we react to our environment.”
14
Wednesday, December 18, 13
15
Honest Attitude Prayer
Wednesday, December 18, 13
15
So far today, God, I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my
temper, haven't been greedy,
grumpy, nasty, selfish, over-
indulgent, or told anyone to mind
their own business and stay out of
mine.
I'm really glad about that!…
Honest Attitude Prayer
Wednesday, December 18, 13
15
But, in a few minutes, God,
I'm going to get out of bed,
and from then on I'm
probably going to need a lot
more help.
Honest Attitude Prayer
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
16
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
16
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
16
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. -‐Age 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Examples of Attitude 17
Wednesday, December 18, 13
What Causes Attitude?
18
Wednesday, December 18, 13
What Causes Attitude?
1. Training (4.1) - tie
1. Management (4.1) - tie
1. Workload (4.1) - tie
18
4. Health (4.0)
5. Home Life (3.8)
Wednesday, December 18, 13
What Keeps You Awake
ZZZZZZZ...
Other
State of World
Family
Health
Job
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Trend
20
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Trend
20
Training has Improved 3.0
More Results 3.2
Increased Workload 4.1
Management has Improved 2.9
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Beliefs
21
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Attitude Beliefs
21
It’s My Choice 3.2
Learned 4.0
Controllable 4.6
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Attitude
Willpower
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Attitude
Behaviors
Willpower
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Attitude
Behaviors
Results
Willpower
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Plan
22
Attitude Cycle
Attitude
Behaviors
Results
Feelings
Willpower
Wednesday, December 18, 13
223
How We Deal With Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
223
How We Deal With Attitude
Other
Enlist Others
Make Jokes
Supervisor
“Get Over it!”
Ask to Help
Ignore
Pretend
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Zebra Rule
24
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Zebra Rule
24
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The Zebra Rule
24
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
2. Why does it bother you?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
2. Why does it bother you?
3. How do you feel when you’re “nuts”?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
2. Why does it bother you?
3. How do you feel when you’re “nuts”?
4. What positive feelings would you prefer?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
2. Why does it bother you?
3. How do you feel when you’re “nuts”?
4. What positive feelings would you prefer?
5. When do you feel that ?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Six-PointPlan
1. What drives you “nuts”?
2. Why does it bother you?
3. How do you feel when you’re “nuts”?
4. What positive feelings would you prefer?
5. When do you feel that ?
6. What do you need to do to feel that right now?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Making Sense of It All
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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LogicalPhysical
Emotional
Spiritual
< Activity! Inspiration >
< Execution Creation >
Making Sense of It All
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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LogicalPhysical
<<<<Change
Emotional
Spiritual
< Activity! Inspiration >
< Execution Creation >
Making Sense of It All
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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LogicalPhysical
<<<<Change
Emotional
Spiritual
< Activity! Inspiration >
< Execution Creation >
Making Sense of It All
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Attitude
Feelings Beliefs
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Feelings
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Feelings
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Biology
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Response
Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Biology
Attitude
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
29
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
29
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
29
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Conflict Cycle
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Conflict Cycle
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Conflict Cycle CALM
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Conflict Cycle
Expectations
CALM
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Noise
Conflict Cycle
Expectations
CALM
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Noise
Conflict Cycle
Expectations
Resolution
CALM
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Noise
Conflict Cycle
Expectations
Resolution
Follow Up
CALM
30
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
31
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
31
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
31
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Reasons for Conflict
32
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Reasons for Conflict
•Shoulds
•Disqualifying
•Inappropriate Rescue
•Perfectionism
•Boundary Violation
•Selective Viewing
32
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Selective Viewing
33
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Your Pet Peeves
34
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Your Pet Peeves
Dishonest
Innapproriate
Bad Attitude
Poor Hygiene
Bossy
Gossips
4.8
3.9
3.8
3.8
3.6
3.6
34
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Conflict Styles
35 Your comments are welcomed: scottq@scottqmarcus.com • www.ThisTimeIMeantIt.com
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Conflict Styles
35
•firecracker•cold shoulder•backstabber
•memory lane•social zinger•last word
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Wednesday, December 18, 13
Most Disliked Communication Styles
36
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Most Disliked Communication Styles
Backstabber
Just sayin...
Firecracker
Cold Shoulder
Memory Lane
Last Word
4.5
3.7
3.4
3.3
3.3
3.1
36
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Your Style
37
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Your Style
Last Word15%
Memory Lane20%
Cold Shoulder19%
Firecracker17% Just sayin...
13%
Backstabber17%
37
Wednesday, December 18, 13
38
The Five Year Rule
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Wednesday, December 18, 13
38
The Five Year Rule
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Will anybody know or
care about this event five years from now?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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InnappropriateRescue
39
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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InnappropriateRescue
39
• Can I help?
• Want my help?
• Do I want to help?
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Appropriate Questions
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Appropriate Questions
Open
Closed Confirmation
Inquiry
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
41
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
41
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Video
41
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The 3 Rs
42
• Recognize
• Reflect
• Redirect
Recognize
Reflect
Redirect
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The 3 Rs
42
• Recognize
• Reflect
• Redirect
Recognize
Reflect
Redirect
Example:
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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The 3 Rs
42
I appreciate ____.
However when you do that, I feel ____.
What I’d really like is ___________.
Recognize
Reflect
Redirect
Example:
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Disarming
43
Think “LAST”
L isten
A pologize (Acknowledge)
S olve
T hank
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Disarming
43
L
A
S
T
Think “LAST”
L isten
A pologize (Acknowledge)
S olve
T hank
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Most Powerful Word
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Most Powerful Word
WOWWednesday, December 18, 13
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Tying it All Together
Wednesday, December 18, 13
1. In
tent
ion
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Tying it All Together
2. Pr
iming
3. Q
uesti
oning
4. Li
stenin
g
5. C
larify
ing
6. Su
gges
ting
7. T
hank
ing
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Begin with “I”• No Interruptions
• No Denials• No Cross Complaints
Fair Fighting
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Talk Time
•10-20 Minutes•I like
•Please change•Get agreement
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Positive Intention
Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Positive Intention
• Always a Choice
Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Positive Intention
• Always a Choice
• Feedback,not Failure
Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Positive Intention
• Always a Choice
• Feedback,not Failure
Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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• Positive Intention
• Always a Choice
• Feedback,not Failure
• Have the Tools
Staying the Course
48
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Keeping it Going
49
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Keeping it Going
Do 1 Thing
49
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Keeping it Going
Do 1 ThingMake it Small
49
Wednesday, December 18, 13
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Keeping it Going
Do 1 ThingMake it SmallFocus on Today
49
Think“1st”
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Scott “Q” MarcusCRP, www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt@ThisTimeIMeanIt
Scott “Q” MarcusCRP, www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt@ThisTimeIMeanIt
50
Wednesday, December 18, 13
Oops!I didn’t mean it to come out that way!
Scott “Q” MarcusCRP, www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt@ThisTimeIMeanIt
Scott “Q” MarcusCRP, www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt@ThisTimeIMeanIt
Scott would love to work with YOU:
• Trainings• Webinars• Workshops • Keynotes• Coaching
Contact him for more information
50
Wednesday, December 18, 13