Piet Hein

Grooks 5

eS

ECONOMY OF MIND

Thinking gives a lot of pain.

Talking doesn't cost a thing.

Therefore, rest your weary brain

and give your tongue a fling.

• GROOKS 5

PIET HEIN

GROOKS 5

With the assistance of Jens Arup

Doubleday & Company, Inc.

Garden City, N.Y.

1973

The collections of

GROOKSare published by

General Publishing Co. Ltd

Ontario, CanadaDoubleday & Company, Inc.

Garden City, New YorkBlackwell&MottLtd

Oxford, England

and

Borgens Forlag

Copenhagen, Denmark

The grooks now have over 340.000 copies

of the English language editions in print.

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 75-79764

isbn: 0-385-02985-3

Copyright © 1972 by ASPILA SA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be

reproduced or utilized in any form or by any

means, electron i c or mechanical, including photo-

copying and recording without permission from

the author.

Printed in the United States of America

PIET HEIN

40 books among which are

GRUK, ESPERANTO ELDONOGRUK FRA ALLE ÅRENE 1

300gruk, 1940-1964GRUK FRA ALLE ÅRENE 2

300gruk til, 1940-1964GROOKS I

GROOKS II

GROOKS III

GROOKS IV

I FOLKEMUNDE, korte gruk I

DET KRAFTENS ORD, korte gruk II

RUNAWAY RUNES. Short grooks 1

GROOKS IN MUSICDIGTE FRA ALLE ÅRENE

GLOBAL EGO

Grook about one sort of philanthropy

(Motto: Le monde, c'est moi )

Your understanding may be rough

and your pretensions vanity;

but underneath there's firmer stuff:

your egoism is vast enough

to comprehend humanity.

THE VITAL PRECEPT

Admonitory grook

One vital precept isn't taught

sufficiently imperiously:

that other people didn't ought

to take themselves too seriously.

DO IT NOW!

Why don't you stop

pursuing things,

and rushing round

and doing things?

Just think of all

the things that you

would suddenly

find time to do!

MASQUERADE

It's always wise

to wear disguise;

but hardly ever

to look too clever.

CONVERSATION PIECE

Ergonomicgrook

There is a certain

labor-saving notion,

dear to a lazy-minded

generation,

that if you can but

keep your mouth in motion,

then every breath you take

is conversation.

&fc>

• &*..

COMMON GROUND

There's matter for reflection

in one's fellow-men's inanity:

it strengthens one's conviction

of belonging to humanity.

COMPARATIVE SENSE

Which of us doesn't

accept as a rule

that anyone dumber than us

is a fool?

But how many of us

can wholly subdue

the feeling

that manyone smarter is, too?

7

FRIENDS IN NEED

Why so sad and woebegone?

Will the world not heed you?

Courage! Even you have won

friends you may rely upon

when they really need you.

ANGEL FOOD

Though men are no angels,

they're better by far

so long as they think

that you think

that they are.

HIGHBROW HUMORA recipe

Half

the laugh.

Twice

the price.

10

A RAIN - DROP

Atmospheric grook

With what adroitness

Nature gleans

sublime effects

with modest means!

A rain-drop streaks

my window pane;

then it is spring-time

once again.

11

ECONOMY OF MIND

Thinking gives a lot of pain.

Talking doesn't cost a thing.

Therefore, rest your weary brain

and give your tongue a fling.

12

å

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?

We haven't much imagination:

it even overstrains our powers

to see our neighbour's tribulation

as any real concern of ours.

We have too much imagination:

enough to credit, without fuss,

that all is well with all creation

whenever things are well with us.

13

THOSE WHO KNOW

Those who always

know what's best

are

a universal pest.

14

y

i

ASPRING'S HARBINGER

On tour

The cold ploughed field seems empty

of any living thing;

but overhead there hangs a lark,

suspended on a string.

It's pouring out, its thrilling trills.

It Tills the air with trilling thrills,

so palpable and plastic

—

absurdly bobbing up and down

because the string's elastic-

till, duty done, and Spring harbinged,

it's whisked into the air,

and lowered in another place

to spring it on them there.

15

^v^MANNERS

On wanting refinement

Honestly,

some people's manners

repel you.

Ask how they are

and, godammit,

they tell you.

16

TO SUM UP

A grook on finding a form

commensurate with one's subject

It may be observed

in a general way

that life would be

better, distinctly,

if more of the people

with nothing to say

were able to say it

succinctly.

17

ON FALLING FEET - FOREMOST

Some darling people you will meet

are plain disaster-prone,

and always fall on someone's feet,

and never on their own.

18

V

REALLY

As people keep reminding you

the horrid things that people do

are superficial merely.

They're really not like that at all.

It's quite unjust of one and all

to judge them so severely.

It would be grand, it seems to me,

if people really were to be

as nice as they are really.

19

IMAGINATION AND FANCY

Literary grook

To imagine himself

is the poet's art;

for his theme must grow out of

his innermost heart.

But alas, there are poets enough

on my shelves

who think it sufficient

to fancy themselves.

20

"^x&y P fe

THE SAME, DIFFERENT

Grumble-grook

There's a neighbor's telephone

with the same distinctive tone

as it pleases mine to make...

...which I find I cannot take.

21

PITIABLE

It's not very pretty

in pitiful fashion

to angle for pity:

it merits compassion.

22

THE OPTIMIST'S OBELISK

I go past a stone

by the road twice a day

in my regular

toing and froing.

The sight of it tells meI'm over halfway —whether I'm

coming or going.

23

LIKE AND UNLIKE

Taxonomicgrook

A baby's and a peacock's skrike

might make you think them much alike.

But where comparisons will fail

is in the color of the tail.

24

LEST-LOST-LAST-LISTLESSNESS DEPRESS YOU

When too many errands accrue

it's useful to make out a list.

You're certain to lose it, it's true;

but somewhere, the thing will exist.

And then, when some accident brings

the list you have lost into view,

at least you've a list of the things

you've meanwhile forgotten to do.

25

O TOAST!

O Toast! What an exquisite yearning

thy sounds and thy odors convey

!

O fragrant aroma of burning!

O rhythmical scraping away!

26

*\Y

STEPWISE

Down from my attic room I swerve

in one smooth, spiral, clockwise curve.

The staircase happens to be wound,

I'm glad to say, the same way round:

for if it happened not to be,

it couldn't keep in step with me.

27

COME, TIME...

Now the November woods are clear and cold

and fragile snowflakes tremble in the air.

If the year's waning be like growing old,

come, Time, and sprinkle snowflakes in my hair.

28

I

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD

Yes, he was tempted,

and he fell;

but judge him not

too hard.

It does take character

to sell

elastic

by the yard.

29

A PAINFUL NEWS ITEM

Lord Y. was dying; but then he

refused to give up the ghost.

The first will be painful to many.

The second will pain the most.

30

BEARDS

Or: Good wine needs no bush

The reason why some people grow

aggressive tufts of facial hair

is that they do not like to show

the chin that isn't there.

31

A THOUGHT ABROAD

It's all very well

to play up the allure

of whatever it is

you are selling;

but it's over the odds

when a sight-seeing tour

turns out to be mainly

smell-smelling.

32

SATURATION

Comfort-grook

The heavens are draining,

it's raining and raining,

and everything couldn't be wetter,

and things are so bad

that we ought to be glad:

because now they can only get better.

3>

PRO BONO...

You sit at the dentist's, your mouth open wide,

and the dentist has moved half his workshop inside

to gild you and glaze you and tin you.

It is not, I admit, my ideaofa lark;

but you must keep your skeleton up to the mark

as long as you've still got it in you.

34

V

J

\0^

NOVEMBER HEDGEROW

Seasonal sketch

The pale November sunshine shines,

and spiders diligently ply

arranging endless washing lines

for dewdrops hanging out to dry.

35

GHOSTLY

Ghosts are mist

and moonshine mostly.

That's the twist

that makes them ghostly.

36

GOSPEL TRUTH

.People

take for gospel

things that are

imposs'ble.

37

SCOTCHED

Ethological grook

Some persistent person-watcher

may eventually distinguish

why a Scotsman's so much Scotcher

than an Englishman is English.

38

SPEED IT UP!

Recipe

To start in a hurry

and finish in haste

will minimize worry

and maximize waste.

39 y*• -v

'"' Ul "-•' L • '«-' »

STRIKING A BALANCE

Mere good intentions go for naught.

The balance we must strike

consists of liking what we ought

and doing what we like.

40

FAME

Fame achieved

by mere achievement

scarce deserves the name.

Proper fame

is being famous

simply for your fame.

, 41

HIDE NOTHING!

On thoughts and words— 1

1

If your thoughts

are rubbish merely,

don't express yourself

too clearly.

42,

FREE CHOICE

People are meant

to hold various views;

which has been construed

to mean

that Rulers should give them

the freedom to choose,

and one thing

to choose between.

* )

1

IS IT ART?

As for art,

what can a halfway-honest man do

to distinguish things that are

from things that aren't?

For there's little art

in doing what one can do,

and there's none at all

in doing what one can't.

44

^ ^

^^^^^m^^é^

A GROOK FOR CHRISTMAS

In pagan ages,

Yu let ide was a feast

not of the spirit,

but of meat and drink.

Think about that this Christmas;

or at least

as soon thereafter

as you're fit to think.

45/

—"Siv*

i.v*

<*.*..

^L

MONEY

An Irishism

Sure, money's all wrong,

and the Devil decreed it!

It doesn't belong

to the people who need it.

<U£

ON RATIONALIZATION

Many are the problems

for which we find a cure,

and many are the snags

that arise.

Rationalization

is rational for sure;

but is it also sure

that it's wise?

47

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^>

MAKING THE BEST OF IT

Grook on a handy substitute

Don't despair of passing muster

when your virtues don't suffice.

You'll achieve an equal lustre

with the obverse of a vice.

48

/ \

%»2DE LUX

A general rule

We fondly believe in the fable

that luxmeters cannot lie;

forgetting: one lux on the table

is better than ten in the eye.

49

4

\^J

%.. ,*

,

>

TRANSMUTATION

I may be stupid;

but I don't see how

the time that's here

contrives to get away.

How can what only yesterday

was nowbe now already

only yesterday?

_50

J

THINK BEFORE YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

We're taught to think, and act

upon our second thought.

We might as well, in fact,

rely on second sight.

In view of how we're placed

the thing we should be taught

is how to act in haste—and do it right.

51

THE GIFT

A gift of great

utility

is commoncopability:

The knack of getting

each thing done

before the grind

has spoiled the fun.

52

>\

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PRETENDERS

Yes, people pretend

to be hurt, or delighted,

or angry, or sorry,

or flattered, or slighted,

or artlessly simple,

or artfully deep,—

and all these pretences

are easy and cheap.

There's just one pretence

that is worth our endeavor:

and that is pretending to

nothing whatever.

TITLE INDEX

A GROOK FOR CHRISTMAS 45

ANGEL FOOD 9

A PAINFUL NEWS ITEM 30

A RAIN-DROP 11

A THOUGHT ABROAD 32

BEARDS 31

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT? 13

COME, TIME 28

COMMON GROUND 6

COMPARATIVE SENSE 7

CONVERSATION PIECE 5

DE LUX 49

DO IT NOW! 3

ECONOMY OF MIND 12

FAME 41

FREE CHOICE 43

FRIENDS IN NEED 8

GHOSTLY 36

GLOBAL EGO 1

GOSPEL TRUTH 37

HiDE NOTHING! 42HIGHBROW HUMOR 10IMAGINATION AND FANCY 20

IS IT ART? 44

LEST LOST-LAST-LISTLESSNESS DEPRESS YOU 25

LIKE AND UNLIKE 24

MAKING THE BEST OF IT 48

MANNERS 16

MASQUERADE 4MONEY 46

NOVEMBER HEDGEROW 35

OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD 29

ON FALLING FEET-FOREMOST 18

ON RATIONALIZATION 47

O TOAST! 26

PITIABLE 22

PRETENDERS 53

PRO BONO 34

REALLY 19

SATURATION 33

SCOTCHED 38

SPEED IT UP! 39

SPRING'S HARBINGER 15

STEPWISE 27

STRIKING A BALANCE 40

THE GIFT 52

THE OPTIMIST'S OBELISK 23

THE SAME, DIFFERENT 21

THE VITAL PRECEPT 2

THINK BEFORE YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACT ... 51

THOSE WHO KNOW 14

TO SUM UP 17

TRANSMUTATION 50

First line index

A baby's and a peacock's skrike 24

A gift of great 52

As for art 44

As people keep reminding you 19

Don't despair of passing muster 48

Down from my attic room I swerve 27

Fame achieved 41

Ghosts are mist 36

Half the laugh 10

Honestly, some people's manners 16

If your thoughts 42

I go past a stone 23

I may be stupid 50

In pagan ages 45

It may be observed 17

It's all very well 32

It's always wise 4

It's not very pretty 22

Lord Y. was dying ; but then he 30

Many are the problems 47

Mere good intentions go for naught 40Now the November woods are clear and cold 28

One vital precept isn't taught 2

O Toast! What an exquisite yearning 26

People are meant 43

People take for gospel 37

Some darling people you will meet 18

Some persistent person-watcher 38

Sure, money's all wrong 46The cold ploughed field seems empty 15

The heavens are draining 33

The pale November sunshine shines 35

The reason why some people grow 31

There is a certain 5

There's a neighbor's telephone 21

There's matter for reflection 6

Thinking gives a lot of pain 12

Those who always 14

Though men are no angels 9

To imagine himself 20

To start in a hurry 39

We fondly believe in the fable 49

We haven't much imagination 13

We're taught to think, and act 51

When too many errands accrue 25

Which of us doesn't 7

Why so sad and woebegone 8

With what adroitness 11

Why don't you stop 3

Yes, he was tempted 29

Yes, people pretend 53

Your understanding may be rough 1

You sit at the dentist's, your mouth open wide 34

Grooks b

Piet Hein

Piet Hein has brought together once again a collection

of his marvelous poem/drawings. Grooks are not only

amusing but also perceptive in their parody of humannature; they have a universal appeal and are read and en-

joyed by children and adults alike. To date they have sold

over two million copies—an enviable record.

Piet Hein, Danish scientist-turned-poet has devoted his

life to bridging the gap between science and the humani-

ties. Holder of the Golden Laurel Wreath (Denmark's

equivalent of "Poet Laureate"), he is also a mathemati-

cian, philosopher, writer and creator of games. Among his

many achievements is the adaptation of the Super-Ellipse

form to structural design as well as the creation of the

•/æ : i-known puzzle SOMA.

For those already familiar with Piet Hein's poetry, this

volume of Grooks offers a new supply for appreciation

For those unfamiliar, this volume will introduce a newexperience, for taken individually each Grook captures

sr-'a truth regarding the human condition; and collec-

l >>/. they form the philosophy of a multi-faceted manvvh ; is optimistically realistic.

(

Cover Design by Douglas Wink

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