Piet Hein - Grooks 5
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Transcript of Piet Hein - Grooks 5
Piet Hein
Grooks 5
eS
ECONOMY OF MIND
Thinking gives a lot of pain.
Talking doesn't cost a thing.
Therefore, rest your weary brain
and give your tongue a fling.
• GROOKS 5
PIET HEIN
GROOKS 5
With the assistance of Jens Arup
Doubleday & Company, Inc.
Garden City, N.Y.
1973
The collections of
GROOKSare published by
General Publishing Co. Ltd
Ontario, CanadaDoubleday & Company, Inc.
Garden City, New YorkBlackwell&MottLtd
Oxford, England
and
Borgens Forlag
Copenhagen, Denmark
The grooks now have over 340.000 copies
of the English language editions in print.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 75-79764
isbn: 0-385-02985-3
Copyright © 1972 by ASPILA SA
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced or utilized in any form or by any
means, electron i c or mechanical, including photo-
copying and recording without permission from
the author.
Printed in the United States of America
PIET HEIN
40 books among which are
GRUK, ESPERANTO ELDONOGRUK FRA ALLE ÅRENE 1
300gruk, 1940-1964GRUK FRA ALLE ÅRENE 2
300gruk til, 1940-1964GROOKS I
GROOKS II
GROOKS III
GROOKS IV
I FOLKEMUNDE, korte gruk I
DET KRAFTENS ORD, korte gruk II
RUNAWAY RUNES. Short grooks 1
GROOKS IN MUSICDIGTE FRA ALLE ÅRENE
GLOBAL EGO
Grook about one sort of philanthropy
(Motto: Le monde, c'est moi )
Your understanding may be rough
and your pretensions vanity;
but underneath there's firmer stuff:
your egoism is vast enough
to comprehend humanity.
THE VITAL PRECEPT
Admonitory grook
One vital precept isn't taught
sufficiently imperiously:
that other people didn't ought
to take themselves too seriously.
DO IT NOW!
Why don't you stop
pursuing things,
and rushing round
and doing things?
Just think of all
the things that you
would suddenly
find time to do!
MASQUERADE
It's always wise
to wear disguise;
but hardly ever
to look too clever.
CONVERSATION PIECE
Ergonomicgrook
There is a certain
labor-saving notion,
dear to a lazy-minded
generation,
that if you can but
keep your mouth in motion,
then every breath you take
is conversation.
&fc>
• &*..
COMMON GROUND
There's matter for reflection
in one's fellow-men's inanity:
it strengthens one's conviction
of belonging to humanity.
COMPARATIVE SENSE
Which of us doesn't
accept as a rule
that anyone dumber than us
is a fool?
But how many of us
can wholly subdue
the feeling
that manyone smarter is, too?
7
FRIENDS IN NEED
Why so sad and woebegone?
Will the world not heed you?
Courage! Even you have won
friends you may rely upon
when they really need you.
ANGEL FOOD
Though men are no angels,
they're better by far
so long as they think
that you think
that they are.
HIGHBROW HUMORA recipe
Half
the laugh.
Twice
the price.
10
A RAIN - DROP
Atmospheric grook
With what adroitness
Nature gleans
sublime effects
with modest means!
A rain-drop streaks
my window pane;
then it is spring-time
once again.
11
ECONOMY OF MIND
Thinking gives a lot of pain.
Talking doesn't cost a thing.
Therefore, rest your weary brain
and give your tongue a fling.
12
å
CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?
We haven't much imagination:
it even overstrains our powers
to see our neighbour's tribulation
as any real concern of ours.
We have too much imagination:
enough to credit, without fuss,
that all is well with all creation
whenever things are well with us.
13
THOSE WHO KNOW
Those who always
know what's best
are
a universal pest.
14
y
i
ASPRING'S HARBINGER
On tour
The cold ploughed field seems empty
of any living thing;
but overhead there hangs a lark,
suspended on a string.
It's pouring out, its thrilling trills.
It Tills the air with trilling thrills,
so palpable and plastic
—
absurdly bobbing up and down
because the string's elastic-
till, duty done, and Spring harbinged,
it's whisked into the air,
and lowered in another place
to spring it on them there.
15
^v^MANNERS
On wanting refinement
Honestly,
some people's manners
repel you.
Ask how they are
and, godammit,
they tell you.
16
TO SUM UP
A grook on finding a form
commensurate with one's subject
It may be observed
in a general way
that life would be
better, distinctly,
if more of the people
with nothing to say
were able to say it
succinctly.
17
ON FALLING FEET - FOREMOST
Some darling people you will meet
are plain disaster-prone,
and always fall on someone's feet,
and never on their own.
18
V
REALLY
As people keep reminding you
the horrid things that people do
are superficial merely.
They're really not like that at all.
It's quite unjust of one and all
to judge them so severely.
It would be grand, it seems to me,
if people really were to be
as nice as they are really.
19
IMAGINATION AND FANCY
Literary grook
To imagine himself
is the poet's art;
for his theme must grow out of
his innermost heart.
But alas, there are poets enough
on my shelves
who think it sufficient
to fancy themselves.
20
"^x&y P fe
THE SAME, DIFFERENT
Grumble-grook
There's a neighbor's telephone
with the same distinctive tone
as it pleases mine to make...
...which I find I cannot take.
21
PITIABLE
It's not very pretty
in pitiful fashion
to angle for pity:
it merits compassion.
22
THE OPTIMIST'S OBELISK
I go past a stone
by the road twice a day
in my regular
toing and froing.
The sight of it tells meI'm over halfway —whether I'm
coming or going.
23
LIKE AND UNLIKE
Taxonomicgrook
A baby's and a peacock's skrike
might make you think them much alike.
But where comparisons will fail
is in the color of the tail.
24
LEST-LOST-LAST-LISTLESSNESS DEPRESS YOU
When too many errands accrue
it's useful to make out a list.
You're certain to lose it, it's true;
but somewhere, the thing will exist.
And then, when some accident brings
the list you have lost into view,
at least you've a list of the things
you've meanwhile forgotten to do.
25
O TOAST!
O Toast! What an exquisite yearning
thy sounds and thy odors convey
!
O fragrant aroma of burning!
O rhythmical scraping away!
26
*\Y
STEPWISE
Down from my attic room I swerve
in one smooth, spiral, clockwise curve.
The staircase happens to be wound,
I'm glad to say, the same way round:
for if it happened not to be,
it couldn't keep in step with me.
27
COME, TIME...
Now the November woods are clear and cold
and fragile snowflakes tremble in the air.
If the year's waning be like growing old,
come, Time, and sprinkle snowflakes in my hair.
28
I
OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD
Yes, he was tempted,
and he fell;
but judge him not
too hard.
It does take character
to sell
elastic
by the yard.
29
A PAINFUL NEWS ITEM
Lord Y. was dying; but then he
refused to give up the ghost.
The first will be painful to many.
The second will pain the most.
30
BEARDS
Or: Good wine needs no bush
The reason why some people grow
aggressive tufts of facial hair
is that they do not like to show
the chin that isn't there.
31
A THOUGHT ABROAD
It's all very well
to play up the allure
of whatever it is
you are selling;
but it's over the odds
when a sight-seeing tour
turns out to be mainly
smell-smelling.
32
SATURATION
Comfort-grook
The heavens are draining,
it's raining and raining,
and everything couldn't be wetter,
and things are so bad
that we ought to be glad:
because now they can only get better.
3>
PRO BONO...
You sit at the dentist's, your mouth open wide,
and the dentist has moved half his workshop inside
to gild you and glaze you and tin you.
It is not, I admit, my ideaofa lark;
but you must keep your skeleton up to the mark
as long as you've still got it in you.
34
V
J
\0^
NOVEMBER HEDGEROW
Seasonal sketch
The pale November sunshine shines,
and spiders diligently ply
arranging endless washing lines
for dewdrops hanging out to dry.
35
GHOSTLY
Ghosts are mist
and moonshine mostly.
That's the twist
that makes them ghostly.
36
GOSPEL TRUTH
.People
take for gospel
things that are
imposs'ble.
37
SCOTCHED
Ethological grook
Some persistent person-watcher
may eventually distinguish
why a Scotsman's so much Scotcher
than an Englishman is English.
38
SPEED IT UP!
Recipe
To start in a hurry
and finish in haste
will minimize worry
and maximize waste.
39 y*• -v
'"' Ul "-•' L • '«-' »
STRIKING A BALANCE
Mere good intentions go for naught.
The balance we must strike
consists of liking what we ought
and doing what we like.
40
FAME
Fame achieved
by mere achievement
scarce deserves the name.
Proper fame
is being famous
simply for your fame.
, 41
HIDE NOTHING!
On thoughts and words— 1
1
If your thoughts
are rubbish merely,
don't express yourself
too clearly.
42,
FREE CHOICE
People are meant
to hold various views;
which has been construed
to mean
that Rulers should give them
the freedom to choose,
and one thing
to choose between.
* )
1
IS IT ART?
As for art,
what can a halfway-honest man do
to distinguish things that are
from things that aren't?
For there's little art
in doing what one can do,
and there's none at all
in doing what one can't.
44
^ ^
^^^^^m^^é^
A GROOK FOR CHRISTMAS
In pagan ages,
Yu let ide was a feast
not of the spirit,
but of meat and drink.
Think about that this Christmas;
or at least
as soon thereafter
as you're fit to think.
45/
—"Siv*
i.v*
<*.*..
^L
MONEY
An Irishism
Sure, money's all wrong,
and the Devil decreed it!
It doesn't belong
to the people who need it.
<U£
ON RATIONALIZATION
Many are the problems
for which we find a cure,
and many are the snags
that arise.
Rationalization
is rational for sure;
but is it also sure
that it's wise?
47
\VJ
^>
MAKING THE BEST OF IT
Grook on a handy substitute
Don't despair of passing muster
when your virtues don't suffice.
You'll achieve an equal lustre
with the obverse of a vice.
48
/ \
%»2DE LUX
A general rule
We fondly believe in the fable
that luxmeters cannot lie;
forgetting: one lux on the table
is better than ten in the eye.
49
4
\^J
%.. ,*
,
>
TRANSMUTATION
I may be stupid;
but I don't see how
the time that's here
contrives to get away.
How can what only yesterday
was nowbe now already
only yesterday?
_50
J
THINK BEFORE YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACT
We're taught to think, and act
upon our second thought.
We might as well, in fact,
rely on second sight.
In view of how we're placed
the thing we should be taught
is how to act in haste—and do it right.
51
THE GIFT
A gift of great
utility
is commoncopability:
The knack of getting
each thing done
before the grind
has spoiled the fun.
52
>\
R^
PRETENDERS
Yes, people pretend
to be hurt, or delighted,
or angry, or sorry,
or flattered, or slighted,
or artlessly simple,
or artfully deep,—
and all these pretences
are easy and cheap.
There's just one pretence
that is worth our endeavor:
and that is pretending to
nothing whatever.
TITLE INDEX
A GROOK FOR CHRISTMAS 45
ANGEL FOOD 9
A PAINFUL NEWS ITEM 30
A RAIN-DROP 11
A THOUGHT ABROAD 32
BEARDS 31
CAN YOU IMAGINE IT? 13
COME, TIME 28
COMMON GROUND 6
COMPARATIVE SENSE 7
CONVERSATION PIECE 5
DE LUX 49
DO IT NOW! 3
ECONOMY OF MIND 12
FAME 41
FREE CHOICE 43
FRIENDS IN NEED 8
GHOSTLY 36
GLOBAL EGO 1
GOSPEL TRUTH 37
HiDE NOTHING! 42HIGHBROW HUMOR 10IMAGINATION AND FANCY 20
IS IT ART? 44
LEST LOST-LAST-LISTLESSNESS DEPRESS YOU 25
LIKE AND UNLIKE 24
MAKING THE BEST OF IT 48
MANNERS 16
MASQUERADE 4MONEY 46
NOVEMBER HEDGEROW 35
OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD 29
ON FALLING FEET-FOREMOST 18
ON RATIONALIZATION 47
O TOAST! 26
PITIABLE 22
PRETENDERS 53
PRO BONO 34
REALLY 19
SATURATION 33
SCOTCHED 38
SPEED IT UP! 39
SPRING'S HARBINGER 15
STEPWISE 27
STRIKING A BALANCE 40
THE GIFT 52
THE OPTIMIST'S OBELISK 23
THE SAME, DIFFERENT 21
THE VITAL PRECEPT 2
THINK BEFORE YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACT ... 51
THOSE WHO KNOW 14
TO SUM UP 17
TRANSMUTATION 50
First line index
A baby's and a peacock's skrike 24
A gift of great 52
As for art 44
As people keep reminding you 19
Don't despair of passing muster 48
Down from my attic room I swerve 27
Fame achieved 41
Ghosts are mist 36
Half the laugh 10
Honestly, some people's manners 16
If your thoughts 42
I go past a stone 23
I may be stupid 50
In pagan ages 45
It may be observed 17
It's all very well 32
It's always wise 4
It's not very pretty 22
Lord Y. was dying ; but then he 30
Many are the problems 47
Mere good intentions go for naught 40Now the November woods are clear and cold 28
One vital precept isn't taught 2
O Toast! What an exquisite yearning 26
People are meant 43
People take for gospel 37
Some darling people you will meet 18
Some persistent person-watcher 38
Sure, money's all wrong 46The cold ploughed field seems empty 15
The heavens are draining 33
The pale November sunshine shines 35
The reason why some people grow 31
There is a certain 5
There's a neighbor's telephone 21
There's matter for reflection 6
Thinking gives a lot of pain 12
Those who always 14
Though men are no angels 9
To imagine himself 20
To start in a hurry 39
We fondly believe in the fable 49
We haven't much imagination 13
We're taught to think, and act 51
When too many errands accrue 25
Which of us doesn't 7
Why so sad and woebegone 8
With what adroitness 11
Why don't you stop 3
Yes, he was tempted 29
Yes, people pretend 53
Your understanding may be rough 1
You sit at the dentist's, your mouth open wide 34
Grooks b
Piet Hein
Piet Hein has brought together once again a collection
of his marvelous poem/drawings. Grooks are not only
amusing but also perceptive in their parody of humannature; they have a universal appeal and are read and en-
joyed by children and adults alike. To date they have sold
over two million copies—an enviable record.
Piet Hein, Danish scientist-turned-poet has devoted his
life to bridging the gap between science and the humani-
ties. Holder of the Golden Laurel Wreath (Denmark's
equivalent of "Poet Laureate"), he is also a mathemati-
cian, philosopher, writer and creator of games. Among his
many achievements is the adaptation of the Super-Ellipse
form to structural design as well as the creation of the
•/æ : i-known puzzle SOMA.
For those already familiar with Piet Hein's poetry, this
volume of Grooks offers a new supply for appreciation
For those unfamiliar, this volume will introduce a newexperience, for taken individually each Grook captures
sr-'a truth regarding the human condition; and collec-
l >>/. they form the philosophy of a multi-faceted manvvh ; is optimistically realistic.
(
Cover Design by Douglas Wink
- »2985-.?