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REVAMP Your Love Life!
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Table of contents
Introduction…………………………………………………………….. 5
How To Avoid The 8 Most Common Relationship Issues .…………6
The Overlooked Step To An Unbreakable Bond………………..…..17
The 1 Secret That Makes A Relationship Thrive…………….......… 19
Techniques To Influx The Love In Your Relationship....……….…...21
5 Signs Of A Dead-end Relationship…………………….…….……. 27
How To Kill Your Fear Of Loneliness……..….……………….….…. 32
8 Attributes Of An Ideal Soul mate………………...…….………….. 36
Conclusion…………………………………………..….…….….….…. 38
Cited Resources…………………………………….…….….….……. 40
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Introduction
Whether you are looking to find the right one, currently
dating or married, you and I both know for a fact that
relationships can be a gruesome uphill battle, yet we are
still willing to be a part of one.
Why? Well we will get into that later in this eBook…
As you read along through this publication we will go into
some methods and inspiring advice that may help you
develop an exciting drama free relationship.
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How To Avoid The 8 Most Common
Relationship Issues
Every long-term or significant relationship faces many
issues. Some tend to be right on the surface and others
are deeply buried and seldom talked about. Every
relationship encounters some sort of obstacle at one time
or another but its how you work through it that proves if
you will last, or crumble.
Take a look at these 8 relationship issues and decide if
you are living in one today. If something strikes a cord
with you, communicate it with your partner and honestly
express your thoughts and feelings.
1. Denying the real issues
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No matter how terrible your day was or how
depressed you are about your financial situation,
there is no excuse for taking it out on your partner.
Often times we end up hurting the ones we love the
most. But why? Loved ones are our support
system and tend to be the people we see and talk
to the most during the day.
We grow comfortable around them and therefore
can take advantage of that closeness. Rather than
hurt the ones you love, do what it takes to meet the
real problem head-on, as effectively as you can.
If you are unsure of how to address a problem, the
strong and mature thing to do is to ask for help and
support from trusted sources (i.e., a friend, relative,
or therapist).
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2. Brushing things under the rug
Many concerns get ignored, overlooked and buried
because the daily rush of work and child raising
leaves no time for discussion. Maybe one dreads
confrontation, or maybe you just don’t make the
time to talk things out and work through issues
together. Brushing problems and issues to the side
only makes for a bigger problem to arise later on.
You can only tiptoe around the real issue for so
long, until one or both of you explode. If it’s a small
issue make the decision to drop it or vent to a
friend. If it’s a big issue, find the time to address it
immediately and in a calm way. Don’t wait months
or years for suppressed rage to finally burst out.
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Deal with conflict as it happens, so to avoid greater
hurt in the future.
3. Gossiping
If you are talking about the problems in your
relationship with friends or relatives but not working
on improving the situation, you are gossiping.
Gossip is not a productive way to handle problems,
and can result in additional problems. For instance,
your partner may feel betrayed that you revealed
sensitive material to others that made him
embarrassed or uncomfortable around them.
Also, if you promote a negative side of your partner
or your relationship, others may get a distorted
view, and changes in their attitudes and behavior
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may follow. Others may remember your conflicts
long after you and your partner have gotten past
them. Instead, work on improving your
communication skills as a couple. Turn toward your
partner, not away. If you need help, seek out the
assistance of an objective third party such as a
therapist who works with couples. When it comes to
your needs, stop complaining and start asking!
4. Not listening
Think back to when you were dating. Remember
when every single word out of your date’s mouth
was fascinating and you couldn’t wait for him to call,
to hear what he thought about anything and
everything? This “honeymoon” phase can fade and
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be replaced by the realistic daily life you now live
together. Are you distracted and too worried about
your last argument or issues at your job? Are you
bored with hearing your partner complain endlessly
about work without doing anything about it and
therefore tuning out?
Once you can get a handle on why one or the other
partner no longer listens, you can dig deeper into
the issues. Communication is key here and needs
to be addressed before any greater issue can be
solved. Remember that your relationship is a
compromise between two very different people and
when you got together you made that commitment
together. Be vocal about your frustrations and be
open to hearing about what your man might find
irritating about you too!
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5. Unreasonable expectations
Unreasonable expectations are exactly that,
unreasonable. Many men and women have crazy
expectations about the institution of marriage and
what that entails. Resentment can build up if a
partner feels particularly shocked with reality.
These expectations and unexpected realities
double for child raising, when lack of sleep, stress
and financial pressure bring out conflicts in nearly
every couple in the world.
The list of areas where people have unrealistic
expectations are nearly endless: how their partner
should look, the job they should have, how much
money they should earn etc. It’s important for both
partners to take a step back and clearly state their
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expectations for different stages in their
relationship. If something seems extremely
unreasonable to one of you, it probably is, at least
for your specific relationship. Seek advice and help
from either friends or family who have gone through
something similar, or an objective 3rd party such as
a therapist or counselor.
6. Putting Yourself First
It’s not “all about me,” especially when you are in a
relationship. Letting one’s self interests take priority
in an unbalanced way can be toxic to a partnership.
The other person usually winds up feeling deprived,
resentful, and unimportant. Furthermore, the more
self-involved you are, the more you take your
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relationship for granted, the less you appreciate
your partner, and the more alone you actually are.
So if your relationship is this way, you also lose out,
because you experience less of the joy that a true
connection brings. You and your partner both get
more from the relationship through reciprocity in
giving and receiving. Relationships are about give
and take. You should want your partner to be as
happy and content as you are.
7. Living in the past
If you have a problem with your service or food at a
restaurant, do you tell your server about every
problem you’ve ever had at that restaurant your
entire life? Or do you just get down to the complaint
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at hand? Relationships are the same. Talk about
what’s happening now.
Bringing up issues and problems in the past may be
helpful in establishing a relationship history initially,
but by constantly bringing up the past you will lose
sight of your future. To complain over and over
about past events only dilutes the current issue,
leaving the other person worn out, overwhelmed
and likely to tune out about your current complaint.
8. Trust issues
The foundation for every solid relationship is based
on trust. Honesty is the best policy applies more
than ever in intimate relationships. This means
being truthful about how you think, what you feel
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and what you’re doing. You should have your
partner’s back and they should have yours.
Sadly, many of us grew up in homes where trust
between parents was fractured and this childhood
history can lead any of us down a similar
relationship path. Don’t continue the cycle of hurt
and sadness in your relationship.
I’m sorry if any of these common relationship issues are
affecting you, but now we are about to get into an
important yet often neglected step towards building a
lasting relationship.
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The Overlooked Step To An
Unbreakable Bond
Another important thing you may want to take note is that
if you want to find a person who can give you a lasting
relationship to fulfill your emotional and physical needs, it
is best to become friends before you become lovers.
Friendship is the foundation of a relationship. Like how a
building that is constructed with a strong foundation can
survive a storm or flood, so can couples that are truly best
friends with one another are able to withstand stormy or
rocky times.
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That is why being in the ‘friend zone’ with the opposite sex
is not necessarily a bad thing. Truly getting to know a
person without prior selfish motives creates an anchor or
bond for a potential lasting/joyful relationship.
Just think about it, if true friends are quick to forgive and
remain loyal to one another, then how much more so
would a couple be united if they properly laid a solid
foundation of genuine friendship?
Also, what makes a true friendship unique is that it allows
you to develop an essential attribute towards forming a
relationship that lasts through thick and thin.
As you continue on you will learn what this vital attribute
is.
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The 1 Secret That Makes A Relationship
Thrive
Before we go into the secret that makes a relationship
prosper, let us consider this illustration…. Let’s say that
you are camping with your friends and or family and you
light a fire. Now that fire is intensely hot at the moment,
but if you left that fire alone over night, do you think it will
still be blazing without consistently adding firewood?
Of course not, with love being the secret (if you want to
call it that) to a strong relationship, it is similar to fire. It can
be intensely hot and strong in the beginning, but without
that constant firewood or applied effort to keep that fiery
love burning, your relationship will dwindle over time.
Now love can be broken down into 3 basic components…
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Trust
Kindness
Forgiveness
When trials and tribulation occurs within a relationship
these 3 components of love are severely threatened. So
as you read on to the next subheading we will go into
some actionable steps you can take, if the love in your
relationship is currently weakening.
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Techniques To Influx The Love In Your
Relationship
Consider this illustration...
You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features
that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for
a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should
have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather
seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the
sunroof would have been nice.
However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car
and make it work. It is the same for relationships. Not
everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles
to overcome but you have made your decision and now
you choose to make it work.
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There are hundreds of things you can do to better your
relationship. To help get you headed in the right direction,
here are some proven ways to build, strengthen, and
enhance the love in your relationship.
Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and
exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the
other person does. However, after time, the nagging
starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they
might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?” If this
sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need
to sit down and be honest that things have changed.
Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the
relationship that created the attraction in the first place.
Then together, make a commitment to start over. The
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truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not
automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by
forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start
over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things
your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant
things aside. It will take some time so be patient.
Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship,
communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier
to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding
relationships, just as communication was the first to
stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require
that both individuals let down their guard and pretty
much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the
relationship cannot start until you talk.
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Make an agreement that you will talk about anything
and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That
does not mean that you will agree with everything,
which is perfectly fine.
However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two
of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together,
work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very
short time, you will both feel much better, individually
and as a couple.
Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can
be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or
cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The
activity is not what is important but the fact that you are
together, doing something that you both enjoy.
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People have extremely busy schedules and between
work, family, the home, errands, and everything else
going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just
as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar,
show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling
time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no
backing out unless you have some life and death
emergency.
Realistic Expectations
No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate
seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting
someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of
your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you
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have for your mate and yourself are realistic. There are
going to be differences in opinion, and probably some
disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate
knows how you feel or what you think about something.
When discussing something important to you, ensure
that you both understand the same thing. The reality is
that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the
other one needs. As long as you do not expect them to
read your mind and accept that this is a part of getting to
know one another and communicating, you will be fine.
Maintaining and rebuilding the love in a relationship is not
the easiest thing to do, sadly this is why many couples fail.
When problems arise in a relationship if both mates are
willing to work it out before it’s too late, there’s a window of
opportunity to start over and refresh that relationship.
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But how do you know when it’s time to start over to rebuild
your relationship? And what steps should you take? As we
continue to the next subheading we’ll get the answers to
these 2 questions.
5 Signs Of A Dead-end Relationship
Are you and your partner fighting all the time or just not
getting along? No matter how bad things get, it can be
difficult to know when to call it quits. Here are five signs it's
time to start afresh…
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Lack of respect
Steps to take:
Tell your partner how their actions are making you
feel.
Suggest you both limit teasing, listen more actively
and be more positive towards each other.
If your partner doesn't see a problem, you're at a
dead end.
No time for each other
Steps to take:
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Set aside time for each other every day. Do this in a
clear and structured way.
It may not be spontaneous, but having a plan and
sticking to it shows you want to work things out.
If you or your partner won't commit the time, it's a
sign that you're at a stalemate.
Incompatible goals
Steps to take:
'What's important is not to focus on persuading the
other to come around to your point of view, but to
work out whether or not you can find a compromise
together that makes you both happy,' says
relationship counselor Tracey Williams.
If you do find a compromise, make sure you're both
behind it 100 per cent. Otherwise, a blame game will
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start further down the line that will bring your
relationship to an end.
Constant Boredom
Steps to take:
Stuck in a rut means changes need to be made,' says
psychotherapist Annie Bennett. Think about finding
new interests or challenges together.
'Try to introduce variety across different areas of your
life. Go to new places to eat, try new ways of being
together and turn off distractions when you're together
- the TV, computer, mobile phones - and start talking.'
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If you or your partner are not interested in making
changes, this is a sign that your relationship may
have run its course.
Bickering and fighting
Steps to take:
'If your relationship has become abusive, it's time to
call it a day,' advises Annie Bennett.
For constant bickerers, take a break from the fighting
by calling a truce and see if you can stick to it for a
week.
No desire to call a ceasefire? Then you're at a dead
end and it's unlikely the relationship can be saved.
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If you noticed 1 or more of these symptoms in your
relationship, then it maybe to your benefit to apply the
advice given above, but if you are the only one putting
forth effort to improve, and your mate’s actions shows they
refuse to help refine the relationship. Than it may be best
to leave them alone, but if you’re married you may want to
seek help from trusted resources (family, bible,
professional consoling, etc).
How To Kill Your Fear Of Loneliness
1. Grieve for what you have lost: ending a relationship is
a loss that needs to be worked through, even if being
together made you unhappy. Often, we are
encouraged to 'forget them and move on', but this will
only keep your ex firmly on your mind.
2. Seize the advantages of being single: as a single
person, you have total control over what you do and
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where you go in your life. Start making plans to take
advantage of your new freedom.
3. Mobilize your support system: being with friends and
family allows you to vent your emotions as you sort
through your life. They can also help you see how
much you are loved and needed in your own right.
4. Reinvent yourself: get a haircut, change your look or
take up something you've always fancied. Just don't
do anything rash that you may later regret, such as
leaving your job.
5. Sort out your financial affairs: breaking up can be
stressful from a financial point of view. You may be
left paying the rent or mortgage, or have to find a new
place to live. If you're finding things a stretch, get
some professional financial advice.
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6. Accept you'll have down times: don't expect
everything to be fine and dandy. Prepare yourself for
some lonely moments, but remind yourself that they
will pass and you will be happy again.
7. Set goals: one of the worst things about ending a
relationship is seeing your future as a blank slate that
was once filled with potential. Set new goals, be they
work ones, travel ones or ones that broaden your life.
8. Let yourself be happy: single life may not be your
ideal, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Say
yes to invites, make plans for your social life and work
on finding a new way of living that pushes you out of
your comfort zone now and again.
If you’re currently in the process of getting over a break up
or your contemplating breaking up with someone then
please apply what you just read above.
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And do not rush into another relationship thinking it will
make things better, for 1st you will need to allow yourself
time to heal and regain confidence.
Plus, it would be best to reanalyze your past relationship
and see the mistakes you and your partner made at the
time, and make a personal change to prevent similar
issues in the future. Once you’re emotional able then it
would be best to find someone who has the ideal
attributes of being your true love.
The next subheading will go into some ideal attributes to
look for in a potential mate or help depict whether or not
your current partner is right for you.
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8 Attributes Of An Ideal Soul mate
As humans it is only natural for us to want to find our
perfect match, but as imperfect people we have many
flaws. So to make things clear you will need to be realistic
when searching out a mate, for you will never truly find
that superman or superwoman.
However, it is possible to find the best one for you. So
here’s a characteristic profile of a person that is proven to
be a right fit for anyone in need of a lasting relationship.
Traits to look for in an ideal mate no matter your type…
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Willing to consult you when making a decision that
could affect the relationship
Deeply cares for your feelings rather than their own
Self sacrificing
Moderate in habits
Humble / Down to earth
Forgiving
Practices self control
Honest
These traits may not sound attractive. Plus, a potential
mate or person you may already be dating may not have
any of these characteristics, but to be in a relationship with
a person like this is priceless.
If you ever spoke with couples who been happily married
for majority of their lives and asked them how their spouse
contributes to keep their happy relationship, it’s
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guaranteed they will give you a description similar to the
one above.
Conclusion
As you can see, relationships take work but the rewards of
a successful relationship will pay for itself many times
over. With the right attitude, upfront effort, and some
unique applicable methods on how to make it successful,
couples can have a strong lifelong relationship!
So no matter if you’re currently seeking the right mate,
already dating someone, or currently married, please
remember that love endures and conquers all. If you
always exercise love in your life, your peace and joy will
be abundant.
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P.S. -
Let peace and blessings be with you on
your journey for true love and happiness,
Owner of LoveHack.net
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Cited Resources
Quoted from other sites:
Madamenoire.com
Netdoctor.co.uk
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