Revamp your love life

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REVAMP Your Love Life!

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Table of contents

Introduction…………………………………………………………….. 5

How To Avoid The 8 Most Common Relationship Issues .…………6

The Overlooked Step To An Unbreakable Bond………………..…..17

The 1 Secret That Makes A Relationship Thrive…………….......… 19

Techniques To Influx The Love In Your Relationship....……….…...21

5 Signs Of A Dead-end Relationship…………………….…….……. 27

How To Kill Your Fear Of Loneliness……..….……………….….…. 32

8 Attributes Of An Ideal Soul mate………………...…….………….. 36

Conclusion…………………………………………..….…….….….…. 38

Cited Resources…………………………………….…….….….……. 40


Introduction

Whether you are looking to find the right one, currently

dating or married, you and I both know for a fact that

relationships can be a gruesome uphill battle, yet we are

still willing to be a part of one.

Why? Well we will get into that later in this eBook…

As you read along through this publication we will go into

some methods and inspiring advice that may help you

develop an exciting drama free relationship.


How To Avoid The 8 Most Common

Relationship Issues

Every long-term or significant relationship faces many

issues. Some tend to be right on the surface and others

are deeply buried and seldom talked about. Every

relationship encounters some sort of obstacle at one time

or another but its how you work through it that proves if

you will last, or crumble.

Take a look at these 8 relationship issues and decide if

you are living in one today. If something strikes a cord

with you, communicate it with your partner and honestly

express your thoughts and feelings.

1. Denying the real issues


No matter how terrible your day was or how

depressed you are about your financial situation,

there is no excuse for taking it out on your partner.

Often times we end up hurting the ones we love the

most. But why? Loved ones are our support

system and tend to be the people we see and talk

to the most during the day.

We grow comfortable around them and therefore

can take advantage of that closeness. Rather than

hurt the ones you love, do what it takes to meet the

real problem head-on, as effectively as you can.

If you are unsure of how to address a problem, the

strong and mature thing to do is to ask for help and

support from trusted sources (i.e., a friend, relative,

or therapist).


2. Brushing things under the rug

Many concerns get ignored, overlooked and buried

because the daily rush of work and child raising

leaves no time for discussion. Maybe one dreads

confrontation, or maybe you just don’t make the

time to talk things out and work through issues

together. Brushing problems and issues to the side

only makes for a bigger problem to arise later on.

You can only tiptoe around the real issue for so

long, until one or both of you explode. If it’s a small

issue make the decision to drop it or vent to a

friend. If it’s a big issue, find the time to address it

immediately and in a calm way. Don’t wait months

or years for suppressed rage to finally burst out.


Deal with conflict as it happens, so to avoid greater

hurt in the future.

3. Gossiping

If you are talking about the problems in your

relationship with friends or relatives but not working

on improving the situation, you are gossiping.

Gossip is not a productive way to handle problems,

and can result in additional problems. For instance,

your partner may feel betrayed that you revealed

sensitive material to others that made him

embarrassed or uncomfortable around them.

Also, if you promote a negative side of your partner

or your relationship, others may get a distorted

view, and changes in their attitudes and behavior


may follow. Others may remember your conflicts

long after you and your partner have gotten past

them. Instead, work on improving your

communication skills as a couple. Turn toward your

partner, not away. If you need help, seek out the

assistance of an objective third party such as a

therapist who works with couples. When it comes to

your needs, stop complaining and start asking!

4. Not listening

Think back to when you were dating. Remember

when every single word out of your date’s mouth

was fascinating and you couldn’t wait for him to call,

to hear what he thought about anything and

everything? This “honeymoon” phase can fade and


be replaced by the realistic daily life you now live

together. Are you distracted and too worried about

your last argument or issues at your job? Are you

bored with hearing your partner complain endlessly

about work without doing anything about it and

therefore tuning out?

Once you can get a handle on why one or the other

partner no longer listens, you can dig deeper into

the issues. Communication is key here and needs

to be addressed before any greater issue can be

solved. Remember that your relationship is a

compromise between two very different people and

when you got together you made that commitment

together. Be vocal about your frustrations and be

open to hearing about what your man might find

irritating about you too!


5. Unreasonable expectations

Unreasonable expectations are exactly that,

unreasonable. Many men and women have crazy

expectations about the institution of marriage and

what that entails. Resentment can build up if a

partner feels particularly shocked with reality.

These expectations and unexpected realities

double for child raising, when lack of sleep, stress

and financial pressure bring out conflicts in nearly

every couple in the world.

The list of areas where people have unrealistic

expectations are nearly endless: how their partner

should look, the job they should have, how much

money they should earn etc. It’s important for both

partners to take a step back and clearly state their


expectations for different stages in their

relationship. If something seems extremely

unreasonable to one of you, it probably is, at least

for your specific relationship. Seek advice and help

from either friends or family who have gone through

something similar, or an objective 3rd party such as

a therapist or counselor.

6. Putting Yourself First

It’s not “all about me,” especially when you are in a

relationship. Letting one’s self interests take priority

in an unbalanced way can be toxic to a partnership.

The other person usually winds up feeling deprived,

resentful, and unimportant. Furthermore, the more

self-involved you are, the more you take your


relationship for granted, the less you appreciate

your partner, and the more alone you actually are.

So if your relationship is this way, you also lose out,

because you experience less of the joy that a true

connection brings. You and your partner both get

more from the relationship through reciprocity in

giving and receiving. Relationships are about give

and take. You should want your partner to be as

happy and content as you are.

7. Living in the past

If you have a problem with your service or food at a

restaurant, do you tell your server about every

problem you’ve ever had at that restaurant your

entire life? Or do you just get down to the complaint


at hand? Relationships are the same. Talk about

what’s happening now.

Bringing up issues and problems in the past may be

helpful in establishing a relationship history initially,

but by constantly bringing up the past you will lose

sight of your future. To complain over and over

about past events only dilutes the current issue,

leaving the other person worn out, overwhelmed

and likely to tune out about your current complaint.

8. Trust issues

The foundation for every solid relationship is based

on trust. Honesty is the best policy applies more

than ever in intimate relationships. This means

being truthful about how you think, what you feel


and what you’re doing. You should have your

partner’s back and they should have yours.

Sadly, many of us grew up in homes where trust

between parents was fractured and this childhood

history can lead any of us down a similar

relationship path. Don’t continue the cycle of hurt

and sadness in your relationship.

I’m sorry if any of these common relationship issues are

affecting you, but now we are about to get into an

important yet often neglected step towards building a

lasting relationship.


The Overlooked Step To An

Unbreakable Bond

Another important thing you may want to take note is that

if you want to find a person who can give you a lasting

relationship to fulfill your emotional and physical needs, it

is best to become friends before you become lovers.

Friendship is the foundation of a relationship. Like how a

building that is constructed with a strong foundation can

survive a storm or flood, so can couples that are truly best

friends with one another are able to withstand stormy or

rocky times.


That is why being in the ‘friend zone’ with the opposite sex

is not necessarily a bad thing. Truly getting to know a

person without prior selfish motives creates an anchor or

bond for a potential lasting/joyful relationship.

Just think about it, if true friends are quick to forgive and

remain loyal to one another, then how much more so

would a couple be united if they properly laid a solid

foundation of genuine friendship?

Also, what makes a true friendship unique is that it allows

you to develop an essential attribute towards forming a

relationship that lasts through thick and thin.

As you continue on you will learn what this vital attribute

is.


The 1 Secret That Makes A Relationship

Thrive

Before we go into the secret that makes a relationship

prosper, let us consider this illustration…. Let’s say that

you are camping with your friends and or family and you

light a fire. Now that fire is intensely hot at the moment,

but if you left that fire alone over night, do you think it will

still be blazing without consistently adding firewood?

Of course not, with love being the secret (if you want to

call it that) to a strong relationship, it is similar to fire. It can

be intensely hot and strong in the beginning, but without

that constant firewood or applied effort to keep that fiery

love burning, your relationship will dwindle over time.

Now love can be broken down into 3 basic components…


Trust

Kindness

Forgiveness

When trials and tribulation occurs within a relationship

these 3 components of love are severely threatened. So

as you read on to the next subheading we will go into

some actionable steps you can take, if the love in your

relationship is currently weakening.


Techniques To Influx The Love In Your

Relationship

Consider this illustration...

You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features

that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for

a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should

have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather

seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the

sunroof would have been nice.

However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car

and make it work. It is the same for relationships. Not

everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles

to overcome but you have made your decision and now

you choose to make it work.


There are hundreds of things you can do to better your

relationship. To help get you headed in the right direction,

here are some proven ways to build, strengthen, and

enhance the love in your relationship.

Start Over

When couples first get together, everything is new and

exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the

other person does. However, after time, the nagging

starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they

might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?” If this

sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need

to sit down and be honest that things have changed.

Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the

relationship that created the attraction in the first place.

Then together, make a commitment to start over. The


truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not

automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by

forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start

over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things

your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant

things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

Communicate

When couples are having problems in a relationship,

communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier

to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding

relationships, just as communication was the first to

stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require

that both individuals let down their guard and pretty

much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the

relationship cannot start until you talk.


Make an agreement that you will talk about anything

and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That

does not mean that you will agree with everything,

which is perfectly fine.

However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two

of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together,

work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very

short time, you will both feel much better, individually

and as a couple.

Schedule Time

Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can

be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or

cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The

activity is not what is important but the fact that you are

together, doing something that you both enjoy.


People have extremely busy schedules and between

work, family, the home, errands, and everything else

going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just

as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar,

show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling

time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no

backing out unless you have some life and death

emergency.

Realistic Expectations

No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate

seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting

someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of

your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you


have for your mate and yourself are realistic. There are

going to be differences in opinion, and probably some

disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate

knows how you feel or what you think about something.

When discussing something important to you, ensure

that you both understand the same thing. The reality is

that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the

other one needs. As long as you do not expect them to

read your mind and accept that this is a part of getting to

know one another and communicating, you will be fine.

Maintaining and rebuilding the love in a relationship is not

the easiest thing to do, sadly this is why many couples fail.

When problems arise in a relationship if both mates are

willing to work it out before it’s too late, there’s a window of

opportunity to start over and refresh that relationship.


But how do you know when it’s time to start over to rebuild

your relationship? And what steps should you take? As we

continue to the next subheading we’ll get the answers to

these 2 questions.

5 Signs Of A Dead-end Relationship

Are you and your partner fighting all the time or just not

getting along? No matter how bad things get, it can be

difficult to know when to call it quits. Here are five signs it's

time to start afresh…


Lack of respect

Steps to take:

Tell your partner how their actions are making you

feel.

Suggest you both limit teasing, listen more actively

and be more positive towards each other.

If your partner doesn't see a problem, you're at a

dead end.

No time for each other

Steps to take:


Set aside time for each other every day. Do this in a

clear and structured way.

It may not be spontaneous, but having a plan and

sticking to it shows you want to work things out.

If you or your partner won't commit the time, it's a

sign that you're at a stalemate.

Incompatible goals

Steps to take:

'What's important is not to focus on persuading the

other to come around to your point of view, but to

work out whether or not you can find a compromise

together that makes you both happy,' says

relationship counselor Tracey Williams.

If you do find a compromise, make sure you're both

behind it 100 per cent. Otherwise, a blame game will


start further down the line that will bring your

relationship to an end.

Constant Boredom

Steps to take:

Stuck in a rut means changes need to be made,' says

psychotherapist Annie Bennett. Think about finding

new interests or challenges together.

'Try to introduce variety across different areas of your

life. Go to new places to eat, try new ways of being

together and turn off distractions when you're together

- the TV, computer, mobile phones - and start talking.'


If you or your partner are not interested in making

changes, this is a sign that your relationship may

have run its course.

Bickering and fighting

Steps to take:

'If your relationship has become abusive, it's time to

call it a day,' advises Annie Bennett.

For constant bickerers, take a break from the fighting

by calling a truce and see if you can stick to it for a

week.

No desire to call a ceasefire? Then you're at a dead

end and it's unlikely the relationship can be saved.


If you noticed 1 or more of these symptoms in your

relationship, then it maybe to your benefit to apply the

advice given above, but if you are the only one putting

forth effort to improve, and your mate’s actions shows they

refuse to help refine the relationship. Than it may be best

to leave them alone, but if you’re married you may want to

seek help from trusted resources (family, bible,

professional consoling, etc).

How To Kill Your Fear Of Loneliness

1. Grieve for what you have lost: ending a relationship is

a loss that needs to be worked through, even if being

together made you unhappy. Often, we are

encouraged to 'forget them and move on', but this will

only keep your ex firmly on your mind.

2. Seize the advantages of being single: as a single

person, you have total control over what you do and


where you go in your life. Start making plans to take

advantage of your new freedom.

3. Mobilize your support system: being with friends and

family allows you to vent your emotions as you sort

through your life. They can also help you see how

much you are loved and needed in your own right.

4. Reinvent yourself: get a haircut, change your look or

take up something you've always fancied. Just don't

do anything rash that you may later regret, such as

leaving your job.

5. Sort out your financial affairs: breaking up can be

stressful from a financial point of view. You may be

left paying the rent or mortgage, or have to find a new

place to live. If you're finding things a stretch, get

some professional financial advice.


6. Accept you'll have down times: don't expect

everything to be fine and dandy. Prepare yourself for

some lonely moments, but remind yourself that they

will pass and you will be happy again.

7. Set goals: one of the worst things about ending a

relationship is seeing your future as a blank slate that

was once filled with potential. Set new goals, be they

work ones, travel ones or ones that broaden your life.

8. Let yourself be happy: single life may not be your

ideal, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Say

yes to invites, make plans for your social life and work

on finding a new way of living that pushes you out of

your comfort zone now and again.

If you’re currently in the process of getting over a break up

or your contemplating breaking up with someone then

please apply what you just read above.


And do not rush into another relationship thinking it will

make things better, for 1st you will need to allow yourself

time to heal and regain confidence.

Plus, it would be best to reanalyze your past relationship

and see the mistakes you and your partner made at the

time, and make a personal change to prevent similar

issues in the future. Once you’re emotional able then it

would be best to find someone who has the ideal

attributes of being your true love.

The next subheading will go into some ideal attributes to

look for in a potential mate or help depict whether or not

your current partner is right for you.


8 Attributes Of An Ideal Soul mate

As humans it is only natural for us to want to find our

perfect match, but as imperfect people we have many

flaws. So to make things clear you will need to be realistic

when searching out a mate, for you will never truly find

that superman or superwoman.

However, it is possible to find the best one for you. So

here’s a characteristic profile of a person that is proven to

be a right fit for anyone in need of a lasting relationship.

Traits to look for in an ideal mate no matter your type…


Willing to consult you when making a decision that

could affect the relationship

Deeply cares for your feelings rather than their own

Self sacrificing

Moderate in habits

Humble / Down to earth

Forgiving

Practices self control

Honest

These traits may not sound attractive. Plus, a potential

mate or person you may already be dating may not have

any of these characteristics, but to be in a relationship with

a person like this is priceless.

If you ever spoke with couples who been happily married

for majority of their lives and asked them how their spouse

contributes to keep their happy relationship, it’s


guaranteed they will give you a description similar to the

one above.

Conclusion

As you can see, relationships take work but the rewards of

a successful relationship will pay for itself many times

over. With the right attitude, upfront effort, and some

unique applicable methods on how to make it successful,

couples can have a strong lifelong relationship!

So no matter if you’re currently seeking the right mate,

already dating someone, or currently married, please

remember that love endures and conquers all. If you

always exercise love in your life, your peace and joy will

be abundant.


P.S. -

Let peace and blessings be with you on

your journey for true love and happiness,

Owner of LoveHack.net

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Cited Resources

Quoted from other sites:

Madamenoire.com

Netdoctor.co.uk

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Revamp your love life

Self Improvement

Transcript of Revamp your love life