Finnish Defence Language Centre
Aiming your words right:using plain language in the office
Laura Murto-LindénLanguage Specialist
Finnish Defence Forces
BILC Conference 2013Tblisi, Georgia
Finnish Defence Language Centre
Something needs to change
English language skills
Administrative procedures
Finnish Defence Language Centre
Readability = an interplay between text and reader
Those features of the reader that make reading easy are:• Prior knowledge• Reading skill• Interest• Motivation
Those features of the text that make reading easy are:• Content• Style• Design• Organization
Finnish Defence Language Centre
Finnish Defence Language Centre
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And what they’re actually saying is…
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Example from US Army Regulations: the original version
Methods of Transmission or Transportation: 7-301. Secret Information.Administrative procedures shall be established by each DoD Component for controlling Secret information and material originated or received by an activity; distributed or routed to a sub-element of such activity; and disposed of by the activity by transfer of custody or destruction. The control system for Secret information must be determined by a practical balance of security and operating efficiency and must meet the following minimum requirements:
• It must provide a means to ensure that Secret material sent outside a major subordinate element (the activity) of the DoD Component concerned has been delivered to the intended recipient...
• It must provide a record of receipt and dispatch of Secret material by each major subordinate element. The dispatch record requirement may be satisfied when the distribution of Secret material is evident and addressees or distribution lists for classified documentation...
• Records of receipt and dispatch for Secret material shall be retained for a minimum of 2 years...
Finnish Defence Language Centre
The “simplified” version
Transmission, Methods: 4-102. Secret.• You may send secret information by US Registered Postal Service
mail within and between the United States and its Territories. • You may use Federal Express and U.S. Post Service Express Mail for
transmitting secret mail within the United States and between the United States and its Territories under the following STRICT condition security:
– Mail should meet the weight and size limits of the carrier used. – You should follow the inner wrappings and receipt
requirements in this handbook. – You should ensure delivery by Friday so that the carrier is not
in possession of the package over the weekend.
Finnish Defence Language Centre
The NATO job description
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Readability Score Average age of reader
Approx. school grade
0.0 – 30Best understood by university graduates
Tertiary degree
60 - 70Easily understood by 13- to 15-year-old students
7th or 8th grade
90 – 100Easily understood by an average 11-year-old student
4th grade
Interpreting the readability score
Finnish Defence Language Centre
This is how you make Microsoft Word display readability statistics
Tools → Options → Spelling & Grammar tab →
Show readability statistics (left-hand corner)
Word will display the readability statistics of your document after you have run it through spell check.
Finnish Defence Language Centre
If your audience can…
• find what they need
• understand what they find
• use what they find
you have written in plain language.
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First example, part 1
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First example, part 2
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A letter addressed to boys under 18 with dual FIN-US citizenship
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Reading “ease”: best understood by university graduatesGrade level: university
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A “simplified” version of the same letter
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Reading ease: fairly difficultGrade level: some high school
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In the classroomAsk your students to consider WHY they are writing.
Do they want to:- Inform- Impress- Intimidate- Convince- Conform- Sound like a native speaker- Show authority?
Finnish Defence Language Centre
Plain language in the office: a question of attitude
Describing problems in NATO communication as “language proficiency shortfalls” is not helpful.
Successful communication is a two-way process.
Just what sort of language should our students be proficient in?
NATIONAL DEFENCE UNIVERSITYFINNISH DEFENCE LANGUAGE CENTRE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION!
Finnish Defence Language Centre
ReferencesSmart Language, Readers, Readability, and the Grading of Text, William H. DuBay © 2007 (slide 5)
http://www.plainlanguage.gov/examples/before_after/govregarmy.cfm (slide 10-11)
http://www.nald.ca/library/research/readab/readab.pdf (slide 13)
http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/word-help/test-your-document-s-readability-HP010148506.aspx (slide 14)
http://www.plainlanguage.gov/whatisPL/index.cfm (slide 15)
Talouskasvua? Ensin pitää osata lukea. Annamari Sipilä ([email protected]), Helsingin Sanomat 29 NOV 2012
The cartoons on slides 4 and 12 have been reproduced free of charge.The one on slide 12 requires a small licence fee: www.CartoonStock.com. Please do not copy the cartoon.
Finnish Defence Language Centre
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