CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide IntroductionThiscoursewilltakeapproximately2hours,ortwo,1hoursessions.Itwillbesplitbetweendiscussingconceptsandpracticingingroups.(First15)BeontheLookout

2.LookFor:a. HighStakesb. OpposingOpinionsc. StrongEmotion

3.Howdowenormallyapproach/reacttotheseconversations?4.Whatchoicesdowehave?

(16-30Minutes)Sucker’sChoicevs.TheSharedPoolofMeaning1. Sucker’sChoice

a. ThechoicebetweenFightorFlight:i. Fight

1. Controlling2. Labeling3. Attacking

ii. Flight1. Masking2. Avoiding3. Withdrawing

2. CrucialConversationModel,andtheSharedPoolofMeaning(DiscussHandout)

3.SharedPoolofMeaning a.Collaborationwechangeintoproblemsolvingpeople b.WeLetGoofourStories(Emotion)andbecomerational4.Practice:RolePlay#1

CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide (31-60Minutes)MasterMyStories

4. StartwithHeart,whenconversationsbecomecrucial,3problems: a. OurMotivesdegradefirst,intoUnhealthyGoals(DiscussChart):

b.HeartProblems(AsEmotionsEscalate)

1.)WeBecomeBlindtoOurOwnRole2.)WeLimitOurChoices

c.WhatWeCanDo 1.)HoldStoriesLightly

2.)Ask/KnowExactlyWhatYouWantandWhatYouDon’tWanta.)ComplexThoughtsCounterourAdrenalin(fightorflightnature)b.)WeGetUnstuck

d.Practice1.)PlayMotherandDaughterArgumentVideo(1:05)

a.)Whathappened?b.)HowcanCrucialConversationschangethisconversation?c.)Whatwerethemotives?d.)Howcouldmotiveschangetheresultsofaconversation?

(61-90Minutes)MakeItSafe

5. BeHonesta. Youcan’tbetoohonest.b. Ifit’ssafe,youcantalkaboutanythingwithalmostanyone.c. Video:SalomehDiaz(6:27)d. Ourstoriescreateouremotions,andwecreateourstoriese. Wetakeinformationinthroughoureyes~80%f. Weneedtoholdourstorieslightly,thenengageourbrainsrationallyg. VictorFranco:inMan’sSearchforMeaning“Wheneverythingistakenfromusthereis

onethingthatremains--thepowertochooseone’sattitudeinanygivencircumstance.”

CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide 6. RolePlay#27.ContrastingStatements a.StepOut,UseContrastStatementstoFixMisunderstanding 1.)Use“Don’t”StatementstoExpressWhatYouDidNotIntend 2.)Use“Do”StatementstoConfirmRespectandClarify b.RolePlay#3PracticeContrastStatementsWithaPartner(91-120Minutes)8.StoriesaretheMasterKeyMutualPurpose

a.MutualRespect1.) Youmightnothaveany2.)GetSome!3.)MutualPurpose

9.PathstoSuccess a.Lookforearlywarningsigns b.Stepoutofthecontextoftheconversation,re-establishsafety

1.)YouCareAboutTheirBestInterests 2.)YouCareAboutThem

c.StepBackIntoConversation d.AskYourself,“WhatdoIreallywant?” e.SafetyistheFoundationofTrust f.StepOutofContent,RebuildMutualTrust,thenReturntoContent

10.RolePlay#311.ConversationPlanner:talkthrougheachlineitem

1.)SeeParticipantsGuideandworkwithapartnertoplanthisconversation

Mission:“EmpowerPeopletocreatequalityconversations&therebyimprovethequalityoftheirlife.”1. Welcome:FirefightersFirstCulture

a. Competenceb. Excellencec. Positivity