“You never get a second chanceto make the first impression”
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CONTENTSCONTENTS
DefinitionBody language encompassesThe language of body language
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DEFINITIONDEFINITION
Process of communicating what you are feeling or thinking by the way you place and move your body rather than by words
Body language - noun - the conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated.
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BODILY SPEAKINGBODILY SPEAKING
Less than 35% of the social meanings is actually transmitted by words.
(verbal channel)
So, at least 65% of it is conveyed through the body.
(non-verbal channel)
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Constantly exchanged and interpreted.
Mostly at an unconscious level.
Remember- while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously) the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting yours.
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Body language encompasses:
How we position our bodies.
Our closeness to and the space between us and other people, and
how this changes.
Our facial expressions.
How our eyes move and focus.
How we touch ourselves and others.
How our bodies connect with other non-bodily things, for instance,
pens, cigarettes, spectacles and clothing.
Our breathing, and other less noticeable physical effects, for
example our heartbeat and perspiration.
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The six universal facial expressions The six universal facial expressions
- recognized around the world- recognized around the world
Happiness Sadness Fear Disgust Surprise Anger
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The Language of Body The Language of Body Language :Language :
Kinesics
Proxemics
Physiognomy
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EYESEYESSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
looking right (generally) eyes creating,fabricating, guessing, lying, storytelling
looking left (generally) eyes recalling,remembering, retrieving 'facts'
looking right and up eyes Visual imagining,fabrication, lying
looking right sideways eyes imagining sounds
looking right and down eyes accessing feelings
looking left and up eyes recalling images,truthfulness
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MOUTHMOUTHSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
tight-lipped smile mouth secrecy or withheld feelings
twisted smile mouth mixed feelings or sarcasm
smile - head tilted, looking up
mouth playfulness, teasing, coy
biting lip mouth tension
tongue poke mouth / tongue disapproval, rejection
nail biting mouth / hands frustration, suppression
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HEADHEADSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
head nodding Head agreement
head held high head superiority, fearlessness, arrogance
head tilted to one side head non-threatening, submissive, thoughtfulness
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ARMSARMSSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
crossed arms (folded arms) arms defensiveness, reluctance
crossed arms with clenched fists
arms hostile defensiveness
one arm across body clasping other arm by side (female)
arms nervousness
holding a drink in front of body with both hands
arms / hands nervousness
adjusting cuff, watchstrap, tie, etc., using an arm across the body
arms nervousness
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HANDSHANDSSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
palm(s) up or open hands submissive, truthful, honesty, appealing
hand(s) on heart (left side of chest)
hands seeking to be believed
finger pointing (at a person)
hands aggression, threat, emphasis
finger tips and thumbs touching each other on opposite hands ('steepling')
hands thoughtfulness, looking for or explaining connections or engagement
touching nose, while speaking
hands / nose lying or exaggeration
picking nose hands / nose day-dreaming, inattentive, socially disconnected, stress
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LEGSLEGSSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
uncrossed legs, sitting - general
legs openness
standing 'at attention' legs / body respectful
legs crossed, standing (scissor stance)
legs insecurity or submission or engagement
ankle lock, sitting legs defensiveness
feet or foot direction or pointing
Feet foot direction indicates direction of interest
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PROXEMICSPROXEMICSZONE DISTANCE FOR
1. Close intimate 0-15cm0-6in
lovers, and physical touching relationships
2. Intimate 15-45cm6-18in
physical touching relationships
3. Personal 45-120cm18in-4ft
family and close friends
4. Social- consultative 1.2-3.6m4-12ft
non-touch interaction, social, business
5. Public 3.6m+12ft+
no interaction, ignoring
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HANDSHAKESHANDSHAKESSIGNAL PART OF BODY POSSIBLE
MEANINGS
handshake - palm down handshake dominance
handshake - both hands handshake seeking to convey trustworthiness and honesty, seeking to control
pumping handshake handshake enthusiasm
handshake - equal and vertical
handshake non-threatening, relaxed
weak handshake handshake various
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HANDSHAKESHANDSHAKES
GOOD HANDSHAKE
Keep the fingers together with the thumb up and open.
Slide your hand into the other person's so that each
person's web of skin between thumb.
Forefingers touches the other's
squeeze firmly.
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EXTEND A HANDEXTEND A HAND
Meeting someone for the first time Meeting someone you haven't seen for a
while Greeting your host(ess) Greeting guests Saying good-bye to people at a gathering
Someone else extends a hand
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TYPESTYPESBRUSH OFF:Quick grasp and then a release that feels
like your hand being shoved aside. Means “it’s my turn and my agenda that
matters, yours doesn’t”.
CONTROLLER :Pulled toward the person or strongly
guided in a different direction.They want to dominate any inanimate or
animate object in the room.©"Ideapreneurship - Universal Entertainment Paradise
POLITICIAN:Their other hand may cover yours or be
placed on your forearm or shoulder.Be cautious about relying on this person’s
words for anything
Finger Vice :When someone grabs your fingers and not
your entire hand it is meant to keep you at a distance.
These people are often insecure.
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THE DOUBLE HANDSHAKE/THE POLITICIAN’S HANDSHAKE
USUALLY IMPLIES TRUST, HONESTY….IT CAN LEAVE THE RECEIVER SUSPICIOUS!!!
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THE FINGER TIP-GRAB
KEEPING DISTANCE….BECAUSE OF NOT BEING MUCH FAMILIAR TO ONE ANOTHER….!!
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Bone Crusher : The message of squeezing your hand
until you cringe is clearly designed to intimidate you
Message of intimidation and power behind the grip.
Lobster Claw :The other person’s thumb and fingers
touch the palm of your hand Fears connecting at a deep level and
have challenges building relationships.
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THE DEAD FISH HANDSHAKE
THE RECEIVER USUALLY DOESN’T SHOW THE INTEREST…..IT LOOKS LIKE THE RECEIVER IS FORCED INTO THE HANDSHAKE!!
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PROPER HANDSHAKEPROPER HANDSHAKE
Is firm but not bone-crushing.Lasts about 3 seconds. May be "pumped" once or twice from the
elbow. Released after the shake, even if the
introduction continues. Includes good eye contact with the other
person.
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A P
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FEC
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TYLE
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TYLE
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MIRRORING - matching body MIRRORING - matching body language signalslanguage signals
When body language and speech
characteristics are mirrored or synchronized between people this tends to assist the process of creating and keeping rapport (a mutual feeling of empathy, understanding, trust).
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Seating positioning in relation Seating positioning in relation to others to others
Unnecessary friction is created in work situations due to ignorance about seating positions.
Sitting opposite creates feelings of confrontation.
Do not place chairs so close together that personal space will be invaded. Conversely sitting too far apart will prevent building feelings of trust.
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Sitting at a diagonal angle of about 45 degrees to another person is a comfortable and cooperative arrangement.
A confident leader will be happy to avoid taking the “head of the table” position.
Conversely it is perfectly normal for a leader to take the “head of the table” if firmness is required
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Awareness of possible cultural body language differences is especially important in today's increasingly mixed societies.
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SUMMARYSUMMARY
Finally, we can learn to be more sensitive to our own bodies – to see how they express our feelings and to see ourselves as others see us.
We do not have bodies; we are our bodies.
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