BREAKUPS Friendship & romantic breakups

Relationship Types

•Generally there are two types of Relations• Romantic Relation• Friendship Relation

Why friendship breakups happen?

The irreparable wrong

• False arguments or disagreements are sometimes to be blamed for breakups

You never get a chance to speak

• Is your BFF always talking about her problems/crushes/life and never listening when you try to talk about what's going on with you? If so, red flag alert. Just like you're there for her/him when she/he needs to talk, your bestie should be there for you, too. 

When you stop your friend from doing something and he/she still does it

You are the only one texting and making plans

Communication gap

The slow drift

• One of them may be more self-involved, have less of a need for companionship, or less time for friends.

He/She always competing with you

• sometimes friends get competitive sometimes. But a true friend won't treat you like a rival, and one-up you every chance she gets. 

The life change

• When you move from college to adulthood• When you get involved into new careers or in romantic

relations• Become a parent can also be one of the reasons of

breakups

When you see some qualities of your friend which you do not like

• When you get close to your friend more you start knowing him more and sometimes find somethings that annoy you.

Why Relations BREAK

There are many perspectives to why relationships don't always last ...

“ Broken Mirror ” Theory by Mr. Nathan Feiles , Psychotherapist .

A complete cycle of

• Why we get attracted to people • What causes breakup i.e Factors • Why do relationships ultimately breakup• How yo avoid breaking the mirror

Attraction

The people we are attracted to are mirrors of ourselves and our histories.

Mirror theory

The mirror doesn’t just reflects ourselves as we consciously know ourselves, BUT reflects more brightly the unconscious parts of ourselves that we’ve disowned over the course of our lives.

What Causes Breakups?

• Lack of self-knowledge , Low self esteem • Ineffective communication• Constant nagging• Excessive jealousy(Delusional jealousy)

What Causes Breakups?

• Broken promises, lying, cheating, stealing• Imbalance of power in relationships• Incessant arguments and quarrels• Control issues

Mirror break

Frustrations alone don’t “break the mirror”.Projections play a big role in “breaking” the mirror which leads to ulimate breakup .

The real trouble “Qualities of our partners that we don’t like “

Why Do Relationships Ultimately Break Up?

• The mirror breaks — the reflection is no longer accurate.

• One partner starts to internally “change” in ways that is no longer accurately reflected in their partner’s mirror.

Distance

• The more friction in the relationship, the more likely it is that changes will happen separately.

• • The old mirror has re-aligned to the point that it doesn’t as accurately

reflect where a person is currently, consciously and subconsciously.

Therefore, we disconnect

Eventually the mirror breaks and we search for a different reflection of ourselves to meet our needs.

ImpactsOf friendship and romantic breakups

Loneliness

• Retrieval of past memories• Pay no attention to present

people• Feeling alone

Loss of personal sharing

• Lose the close one• Lose your strengthen• No one for sharing

problems• No one for making

solutions

Depression and Anxiety

Lack of attention

• Felling uncomfortable• Pay no attention to work• Leave out work mostly

Low satisfaction level

• Satisfaction level goes down day by day• Dissatisfaction with

personality• Dissatisfaction with work

Self concept

Hadith about relationship

SolutionsOf friendship breakups

Questions ask to yourself

• what types of people you’re just not compatible with?• what you may be doing that upsets your friends?• what kind of company you’re attracting?• whether you want things to remain that way?

Realize are your friendship problems are resolve able?

• write about true feelings of your friendship • If yes, then go for a solution• If no, then move forward and be careful now, choosing

friends

Make a pro and con list about your past friendship

• why your friendship failed• what you didn't do that

could potentially improve your relationships with your remaining friends• why you should not be

friends with that person anymore

Own whatever misdeeds you think you’ve done

• If you do not own your mistakes you can not go for the solutions because you’ll blame the other person.

Understand that the friendship ended for a reason

• The core reason can be anything from the unhealthy, bad nature of a friendship or simply that you flourished into two very different individuals overtime

Make a clean breakup

• For some people the reminder of their old friend can be a hindrance in their ability to move forward with their lives.• For those who can manage keeping your old friends on

Facebook, Twitter, emails, Instant Messages and phones, it is fine. However, it seems like it would be easier if reminders weren't ubiquitous on such personal places.

Try not to substitute anger and corrosive hatred for sorrow and grief over the loss of your friend

Communicate with your friend

HOW TO OWERCOME BREAKUPS

Breakups And Callcousinswith

• Breakups and Callcousinswith are two opposite terms• When we talk about Callcousinswith ,it means indirectly we

also talk about breakups

Romantic Relations

Allah says about Romantic relation in Quran Majeed:

“Wife is the Dress of Husband andHusband is the Dress of Wife”

Reference:Surah: Al-BakaraVerse # 187Sapara # 2

Hadith about Breakups

Hazrat Muhammad(SAW) said:“The person who breakups,will not

be allowed to enter into Jannah”

Reference:Book: (Bukhari)

Friendship Relation

• Allah says in Quran Majeed about Friendship:

“All the Muslims are Brother”

Reference:Surah: Al-HujratVerse # 10Sapara # 26

Example of Friendship

Best example of Friendship is

“Brotherliness of Madina”When Nabi (SAW) established the Friendship’s Relation between Emigrant of Makkah and natives of Madina

Hadith about Friendship’s Breakups

Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) Said:

“It is not good for a Muslim to breakup with other Muslim more than three days”

Reference Book (Bukhari)

Sunmbal SiddiquiPUCIT

Thank You!