What Causes Marriage Breakups?

What causes Marriage breakups?

Of late this subject has bothered me so much after seeing the many marriages that are

breaking up. Some of these marriages never went beyond one year. Some have broken up

after many years.

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• There are many reasons that families break up. It is something that is hard for the adults concerned and also for any children in the family.

• Break ups can be hard for even grown children going through the break up of their parents.


REASONS COUPLES BREAKUP

• 1. INFEDILITY

• The main thing which may cause a break up is infidelity. This is something that often hurts both spouses in the relationship. The cheating partner may go through a lot of feelings of guilt, while the partner that was cheated on may feel deeply hurt and may even blame themselves... "What did I do wrong?", "Why doesn't he/she love me?", etc.


• 2. EXCESSIVE ARGUMENTS

• Another thing that causes families to break up is excessive arguments. In today's world, where often times, both partners have to work outside the home, even if they have young children, stress levels get high.


• 3. MONEY

• If there are problems with finances...not enough money coming into the household to cover expenses, this can be another issue of tension.


• 4. ABUSE

• Abuse causes families to break up in some form. In most cases of this kind, the break up is for the best for all concerned unless some adequate form of therapy or other help is provided.

• There are different kinds of abuse, including verbal, physical and sexual. Some types of abuse are worse than others.


• 5. Other interests come between you.

• These are things or issues that may take up lots of time for one spouse denying the other spouse any time. In the past nothing could come between you. You were inseparable. But, other things began to grab one or both of your attention slowly, over time. Outside distractions will destroy a good marriage.


• 6. Unresolved conflict.

• Every couple is different. When conflict develops at some point it must be addressed. Hidden pain never disappears on its own. And, many couples simply don’t know how to address conflict.


• Conflict left unattended sometimes sits like it never existed. But, oh it did. And, it does. Someone is holding on to it. Trust me. And, the longer it sits the deeper the wedge it causes.


• 7. The couple stops dreaming together.

• When a couple is dating they have lots of dreams together. They discuss their future. They dream about where they will live and travel. They dream about family and adventure. It’s an energy which fuels the relationship. When the dreaming stops then the relationship starts having problems.

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• 8. Boredom.

• This is one of the leading causes of marriages breakups. Couples quit dating, quit laughing, quit having fun together. They get caught in the routines and busyness of life. Boredom sets in and the closeness they once shared begins to drift. The enemy loves this and suddenly one or both spouses seek excitement elsewhere.


• 9. Living separate agendas.

• It’s not OK to have separate agendas. The agenda of a marriage should be two very different people blending those differences into one. When this is not happening, the strength of the marriage will slowly or quickly fade away.


• Reconnect and get realigned with where we are as a couple and where we are going. It will take intentionality on your part and granted, on both of your parts to address these issues. But, a good marriage is worth the effort.


• 10. UNMET EXPECTATIONS

• All spouses enter into the marriage institution with very good and sometimes very high expectations. Over a time they get frustrated in that all they were yearning for in not in their marriage. This brings hurting and frustrations in their marriage.


• 11. DISTANT RELATIONSHIPS.

• When people marry, there desire is to be together. As challenges in life, job opportunities, transfers, work or business in or outside the country come , this causes the emotional attachment the couple had to wear out. Over a time this kind of marriage may end up breaking up.


Solutions to the Breakup Issues

• 1. Involve God

• Let God be the centre of your marriage. Seek to know what God intentions for marriage was.

• Read the Bible to get insights of the marriage institution.


• 2. Communication is the key to any good relationship.

• It is important to communicate with your spouse. Know what their needs are, and try to provide them.

• Communication is important not only to know your spouse’s needs, but to make family based decisions that can become added stress if it is put off.

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• 3. Encourage family activities.

• That doesn't mean that you have to go out and spend a lot of money going out but being together as a family is crucial.

• It can mean spending an hour or so an evening a few times a week just doing things together.

• Eating together is so encouraging.


• 4. Be there for each other.

• The reason people marry is to be there for each other. Avoid as much as possible distant marriages.

• Build your physical, spiritual, social and emotional capacities for each other.

• Simply be there for each other.


• 5. Speak Words of Affirmation

• Spouses love to be assured every time. Words build up the relationship.

• Every spouse wants to hear good words as it affirms the relationship is good.


• 6. Commitment to each other is vital

• Commit to strengthen your marriage.

• Get to the bottom of why you married each other. As people seek wealth and as children come, the level of commitment seems to be reducing.

• Go back to the basics.


• 7. Set your marriage and family goals together

• When there is agreement on where the family is going, when spouses sit to set their goals together, I believe harmony, mutual understanding and respect set in.


Finally

• When we enter into the marriage institution, we must understand that our spouses become the closest persons in our lives.

• When we hurt each other, it will be hurts for a long time unless we learn quickly to forgive each other.


• Emotional hurts can sometimes take a very long time to heal.

• Remember that if children have already come, they will be hurt too.

• Lets avoid any issues that could bring hurts to the marriage and family.


What Causes Marriage Breakups?

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