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4 What’s Up

Held Hostage in a Hotel Room?We apologise for writing about Ms Tymoshenko on an almost weekly basis, but we couldn’t let this one pass, as this latest stunt pulled by some buffoon aligned somehow with the current ruling elite beg-gars belief. In an effort, we suppose, to discredit her claims of harsh conditions in prison, somebody took it upon themselves to make a little movie showing what things are like for Yulia, and prove beyond any shad-ow of doubt that she is in fact living the life of luxury while banged up. You can watch the video yourself by using the following link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s0jy3r5-ZY Now for the stupid bits:1) A raging Ms Tymoshenko has written (in a letter) to the head of

the detention centre that they know full well this cell is not her normal dwelling, and has described therein the state of her actual cell. That letter, now made public, means the making and release of this video attempting to show a different story is really a blatant PR goal.

2) The plush room where they show her residing, clearly filmed against her wishes, has the bed on the left hand side of the room. Then, all of a sudden, the filmmaker shows the flat screen TV and en-suite bathroom facilities of ‘her’ room, but the bed’s now on the right-hand side. Oh dear, slight continuity error.

3) The biggest, and most serious gaffe in all this is the blatant in sult to the intelligence of the people of Ukraine. How can Ukraini-ans have any respect for people who feed them, and expect them to accept, this kind of blatant rubbish as the truth?

And the Emmy for Best TV Drama Goes To…In a country of 45 million with so much at stake, anyone could be hit with a lawsuit – even you. Whether you are acquitted or not, how-ever, depends on what kind of links you’ve got with the ruling party. Unfortunately, it is a never-ending drama the people of Ukraine have become used to. Keeping us well engrossed over the years, we've come up with a list of people we think might do well in daytime tele-vision. So without further ado, a list of the nominees for this year’s best drama series. For his alleged role in the killing of journalist Georgiy Gongadze, Leonid Kuchma. For his assumed role in abuse of public office and forgery, Yuriy Lutsenko. And for her role in signing a contract with Russia in January 2009 concerning the import of natural gas, Yulia Tymoshenko. And the winner is... (drum role please)… Leonid Kuchma! Crimi-nal proceedings linking former President Leonid Kuchma to the killing of journalist Georgiy Gongadze were dismissed just last week. Before the ruling, made on 14 December, however, he kept the whole country on tenterhooks for more than 11 years. Con-gratulations Mr Kuchma!Stay tuned for the next episode in the Ukrainian version of Who Dun It?

Proud to be Ukrainian The latest survey conducted by the Ukrainian Institute of Social Re-search shows 62% of the country’s youth are proud to be Ukrainian. Despite the shenanigans that occur in government on an almost daily basis, this is a 7% increase since 1996 and shows real promise!

The EU and Ukraine Reach No Summit Climbing the Association MountainUkraine hosted the 15th annual summit with European leaders on Monday in, what we can only guess, the hopes to continue talks about deeper cooperation. There were many things on the table: the current political situation, issues over the economy, mobility concerns and of course regional and international re-lations. But the prize Kyiv has had its eyes on, and for some time, has been this Associa-tion Agreement, meant to bring the country that much closer to membership with a club

that seems to be having its own problems as of late.There are many things within the agreement that will no doubt benefit the country; free trade and the elimination of the visa regime being two of the biggest. Unfortunately, the current politi-cal backdrop has done little to entice delegates to put their pen to paper, and the agreement Monday 19 December was left unsigned. While Yanukovych didn’t seem too phased after the meeting, even saying he was satisfied with the results, one can’t help but get the feeling that the EU might have allowed the upper hand to slip in the direction of our neighbours to the northeast. Alluring the country with cheap gas prices and restrictions that for all intents and purposes are nowhere near as strict as those to west, Ukraine has been interested, to varying degrees, in economic integration with Russia.

What will happen next is anybody’s guess. Putin will most certainly be making tracks behind the EU in the hopes that he might get Ukraine up that slippery mountain slope. What scares us a little bit, however, is the flag that will be planted when and if Ukraine ever does make it to the top. Will it be blue with yellow stars? Or a little bit redder with a hammer and sickle included somewhere? Only time will tell.

47.indb 4 20.12.2011 18:36:17

5

25 December 336 The first documented Christmas celebra-tion takes place in Rome. From this year on, Catholic churches everywhere celebrate the birth of Jesus on this day.

23 December 1913 The Illya Muromets, the world’s first four-engined aircraft designed by Ihor Sikor-sky, takes its first flight. The world-famous aircraft engineer of Ukrainian descent immigrated to the United States in 1919 where he continued to create the first viable helicopter.

28 December 1943Hitler orders the demolition of his military headquarters Wehrwolf near the town of Vinnytsya. It served as a military manage-ment point for the whole of the WWII East-ern front.

25 December 1951The USSR’s first computer, referred to as an electronic calculating machine, begins op-erating in Kyiv.

26 December 1991The European Union acknowledges Ukraine as an independent state. Heading the EU at the time, the Netherlands’ Ministry of For-eign Affairs publishes the information.

This Week in History

Ukraine to Host Euro Basketball Championships2012 is what everyone’s been looking forward to for the past five years, but now we’ve got something else to look forward to as it was announced at the weekend that Ukraine will play host to the FIBA basketball finals in 2015.FIBA Europe, the European version of the International Basketball Federation, made the announcement after France, Germany, Croatia and Italy withdrew their rspective bids, citing, “doubts regarding the professionalism and the lack of trust in the bidding pro-cess conducted by the European Basketball Federation, FIBA Europe.” Their decision to withdraw from the process left Ukraine as the only other option.So there we have it. Ukraine has won the bid to host the European Basketball Champion-ships in 2015! Never mind that the whole process is apparently allegedly corrupt, or that no one else wanted to do it! Let’s just all pat ourselves on the back and wait for the flood (trickle?) of basketball supporters heading this way in three years’ time.

An Act of Goodwill or Target for Holy Rollers?A tremendous act of kindness by Rich-mond residents in the State of Virginia has made headline news recently, following the collection of 1,600 shoeboxes filled with presents. Thanks to the generosity of local residents the boxes will soon be on their way to a number of impoverished children here in Ukraine and all throughout Roma-nia. What hasn’t been included in the sto-ry about Operation Christmas Child, how-ever, is that this programme is part of an American Evangelical Organisation called Samaritan’s Purse, and headed by Frank-lin Graham, son of the famous evangelical preacher Billy Graham, it seems to have a few people up in arms. While the gifts for those less-fortunate do seem to be a true act of good will, there are those who claim the organisation use the gifts to “convert vulnerable children into born-again Catholics”. While that in itself is hardly a crime, Graham has called Islam “a very wicked and evil religion”, and in reference to President Obama, ABC News has quoted him as saying, “I think the President’s problem is that he was born a Muslim.” While Graham does take home a hefty sal-ary from a number of organisations, per-haps someone should send him one of these boxes. By the sounds of it, he could benefit from a little charity. He’s obviously run out.

Second-hand Jeans Talk! A woman from the town of Lyuboml in the region of Volyn was at flea market over the weekend in search of a pair or second-hand jeans for her teenage son. Finding just the right size and style, she went through the pockets before sticking them in the wash when she found a letter with a €100 note inside! While the money was a pleasant surprise, and just in time for a holiday that often gets lost in consumerism, the note was even more bizarre. Written by a boy named Walter – a student in Germany – to the future owner of the jeans somewhere in the country, it read, “Hello, unknown friend in Ukraine! I condemn the war just as you do. It took away my grand-father, Johan, who served in Wehrmacht and died on your land. I give you these jeans knowing life in your country isn’t so good…”This could be one of the best feel-good sto-ries of the year!

47.indb 5 20.12.2011 18:36:20

6 Kyiv CultureKateryna Kyselyova

The biggest night of the year is fast approaching, and whether you are at home with family, out at a huge bash with all the season’s freshest faces or enjoying an intimate evening for two, make sure you’re in your best bib and tucker. Need a little help? Let What’s On and one of Ukraine’s best designers, Andre Tan, dress you up!

to ImpressDressLong or short, simple or elaborate,

you’re going to need a need a new dress to ring in 2012, and according to Andre Tan, black, shiny gold and

animal print are all good options this season. Offering his expert opinion, pale tones are out. Instead, opt for deep, rich, bright and beautiful colours. Fitting black somewhere in your ‘ensem’ is also a must: “If you don’t want to go with the black frock, then make sure you have a black clutch, a pair of black heels or a black belt this New Year’s Eve. As for jewellery, I would suggest a set of black pearls set in gold. This little accessory will guarantee you a little success in the coming year!” Length is another hot trend this season, and sharing a little secret with us, Andre says the

style will remain in vogue for the spring and sum-mer seasons as well. Making any and everyone’s figure appear taller, hiding unwanted inches from the waistline, a long gown is like a magic wand for any evening event! One of the best things our own Andre Tan asserts over the few hours spent in his company is there are no ugly women, only inaccurately tailored garments. It may well be the best marketing gim-mick I have every heard, and yet I can’t help but eye some of these creations hanging from the racks. Dresses from this designer do their best to present any woman in her best light, which is something every woman wants for the biggest night of the year. Make sure you take these few hints on board and dress to impress.

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7

"THERE ARE No UGly

WoMEN, oNly iNACCURATEly

TAiloRED GARMENTS"

One of the first looks from our fashion guru is a floor-length number of python print on chiffon. “This dress is seductive. You can go off-the-shoulder entirely or bare just one. I personally think the collarbone is the sexi-est part of any woman’s body – why hide it?!” Mr Tan suggests a belt be added to this little get-up. Accentuating the waist, the illusion is that you are even more slim and slender. This is danger-ous elegance all wrapped up in one outfit. How-ever, animal print isn’t for everyone. If that’s the case for you, use it instead as an accessory or opt for a garment where it’s not the only pattern: “I love dresses decorated in animal print on the front and back with pieces of black up the side. Whoever you are, you will immediately look much taller and slimmer.”

With black and shiny gold very big this year, the next New Year

option by Andre Tan unites both of these elements. “This

dress keeps whoever is wearing it quite covered. And yet it is very sexy at the same time. Including a nude silk chemise just under-

neath, the body appears naked, which is very attractive. Including sequins that shimmer magnificently in the light, I have kept them to a

minimum so as not to overdo it. The woman who wears this dress needs only a pair of black heels

and she’ll look like a queen.” The designer warns the wearer, however, to go easy on the makeup,

suggesting nice light smoky eyes as the perfect final touch

to an already bril-liantly mysterious

image.

The last variant we are privy to is a variation on the little black dress. Tan has added a few up-grades on this classic making it not just uni-versal but unique. “Seams in the chest give the illusion of a bigger bust, while elements such as wings add volume to the shoulders making the hips even narrower. “This is a must-have for any modern woman,” he says, "which can easily be office-ready with the right pullover." Then, when it’s time to party, remove the wings from your bag and attach to the shoulder! With a choice of two pairs and in two different colours – white and red

– the designer suggests white for the office and red for gallivanting at night.

Scarlet seems to be another big option for the holiday, and one such dress made out

of this delicious shade by Andre Tan is original indeed. Short at the

front, long at the back, with a v-neck décolleté accenting all the right parts and flowing pieces of fabric all come together to make the perfect silhouette. Add some

long leather gloves, which will move the eye to the leg, and you

will be an admired sight all night.

47.indb 7 20.12.2011 18:36:41

This Week Theatre & Classical Music 23-29 December 20118

23Friday

An EvEning of ClAssiCAl And JAz

MusiCFeaturing Zavadsky (accordion), Zubkov (piano), Khmelyov (drums), Mooz (clarinet), Taran (piano)Works by Bach, Strauss, Gershwin, Ellington Time: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

An EvEning of HAndEl

Featuring Collegium Kyiv EnsembleTime: 20.00Master Klass Cultural Centre (Lavrska 16)594-1063

An EvEning of CoMpositions by irynA rybCHuk Featuring Khakhalina (soprano), Uspenska (mezzo-soprano), Mamchuk (baritone)Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23)587-7490

MArriAgEAn incredible event in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

fAt swinEComedy in 2 actsTime: 20.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 55) 234-4223

rigHt of lovEComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

MoMEnt of lovEInvestigative experimentTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

An EvEning of CHristMAs bluEsFeaturing Frankyjazz, Kostenko (vocal) Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

protECtionModern German Drama as part of the Goethe’s Institute Step-3 projectTime: 19.00Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)529-4062

24SaturdayAn EvEning of piAno MusiCFeaturing Symphony Orchestra of the National Philharmonic, Onyshchenko (piano)Works by Rachmaninoff, Rimsky-Korsakov Time: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

MAsquErAdE bAll

Opera in 3 acts Time: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

CHristMAs ConCErt

Featuring Bratyk (soprano), Bondarovska (piano), Bolkunevych (soprano), Kahanovych (piano), Shevchenko (piano) Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23)587-7490

fiAlkA MontMArtrEOperetta in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

MArtin borulyAComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

fAt swinEComedy in 2 actsTime: 12.00nApolEon & tHE CorsiCAnComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

lovE lEttErs to stAlinPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

tHE rEturn of tHE prodigAl fAtHErPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

An EvEning of ACCordion MusiCFeaturing Zavadsky (accordion)Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

tHE pillowMAnPlay in 3 acts (must be 18+)Time: 19.00Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)529-4062

25SundayAn EvEning of russiAn folk MusiCWorks by Borodin, Tchaikovsky, Sviridov, Russian folk songsTime: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

An EvEning of itAliAn ClAssiCAl MusiC

Featuring Dashak (piano), Roy-Iynda (flute)Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23)587-7490

pErfECt CHArliEIronic melodrama for adultsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

An EvEning of voCAl MusiCFeaturing Dzhyhurda (vocal)Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

CHristMAs CArolsFeaturing Kyiv Symphony Orchestra and ChorusTime: 19.00Central Baptist Church (Shchekavytska 2/8)417-0079

27Tuesday

An EvEning of strAuss

Featuring National academic wind OrchestraWorks by the family Strauss Time: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

spAnisH nigHtFeaturing Eteri Lamoris, Sergio Escobar, Guillermo Contreras Time: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

suCH JEwisH HAppinEssMusical in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

tHE tAMing of tHE sHrEwComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

tHE pink bridgEPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro517-1955

EMpty trAsHCrazy comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

HiddEn lovEMysterious variations in 2 actsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

no. 13Comedy of our day in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

An EvEning of MusiC, voCAl And Art-pErforMAnCEFeaturing Gregul (soprano, piano), Lishansky (painting, performance)Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

tHE lovE dEn/ukrAiniAn dECAMEronTheatre of laughs & sinsTime: 19.00Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)529-4062

28WednesdayAn EvEning of CHAMbEr MusiCFeaturing Kyiv Chamber OrchestraWorks by Vivaldi, Mozart, Haydn Time: 10.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

silvAOperetta in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

storMTragic-comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

pErfECt CHArliEIronic melodrama for adultsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

tHE pink bridgEPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

An EvEning of nEw yEAr MElodiEsFeaturing Khodakivska (soprano), Mitryayev (counter-tenor), Turta (piano)Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

tHE lovE dEn/ukrAiniAn dECAMEronTheatre of laughs & sinsTime: 19.00Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)529-4062

29Thursday

An EvEning of ClAssiCAl MusiC

Featuring Ishchak (counter tenor), Roy (flute), Kravchenko (piano), Sydorenko (organ)Works by Mozart, Haydn, Bellini Time: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

tHE MErry widowOperetta in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

fAMily dinnErComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00L. Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

sAtisfACtionPlay in 2 acts from The Merchant of VeniceTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

EvErytHing About lovEPlayTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

norMAOpera in Italian in 2 actsTime: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

tHE bAtOperetta in 3 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

frEdEriC/tHE CriME boulEvArdTheatrical novel in 2 acts Time: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

CyrAno dE bErgErACThe life of…Time: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

nord-ost. tHE futurE sHows Play in 2 actsTime: 18.00strAngE Mrs. sAvAgETragic comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

lEttiCE & lAvidzHFun w/ shadowsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

tHE pillowMAnPlay in 3 acts (must be 18+)Time: 19.00Dakh Modern Art Theatre (V Vasylkivska 136)529-4062

26MondaytHE kAudAsHEvA fAMilyComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

Classical Music For the Holiday SeasonThe Annual Strauss Concert with the Kyiv Classic Orchestra, National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)28 & 29 December at 19.00The Kyiv Classic Orchestra and maestro Herman Makarenko traditionally present a New Years’ programme of sublime Strauss music. Included in the mix, ballet and opera compositions always add a magical touch, and are no less important than Strauss himself! If you have never been to one of these enchanted evenings at the Opera House, believe us when we say it is one of the best ways to get you in the holiday spirit. Continue Christmas or start New Year early – either way it’s going to be good. Tickets are 20 – 500hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

This Season’s Best Ballet The Nutcracker (ballet in 2 acts), National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)26 December at 15.00 and 19.00With Christmas right around the corner, it’s time to get back to your childhood and let a holiday fairytale come to life. It’s a tradition in many parts of the world to include this ballet into your plans for the season and Kyiv is no different. Join Clara, the Prince and the Sugar Plum Fairy as they whisk you off into the Land of Sweets where you will be entertained by confections from all around the world! It’s a must see this holiday – make sure you get your ticket. Tickets are 20 – 200hrv. For more information call 279-1169.

: What's On Recommended

47.indb 8 20.12.2011 18:36:43

CHill out (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

CrAzy trAin (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

AirCrAft (pop-roCk)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

26Monday

boobAMArA (bAlkAn MusiC)

Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

tEx-MEx Co (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

trEs dEsEos (CovEr bAnd) Time: 21.30 Admission: 50hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

bEEfEAtErs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

bEndEr bAnd (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

tAbulA rAsA, CHill out (pop-roCk,

CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrv Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

tEAnA (CovEr bAnd)

Time: 21.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

strong tiME, AniMAls’ sEssion (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

riffs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

good, bAd, Evil (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

25Sunday

soyuz 44 (JAzz)Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

JErry (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

tEx-MEx Co (CovEr bAnd) Time: 21.00 Admission: freeDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

23FridayblAnk CovEr pArty (CovEr bAnds)Time: 22.00Admission: 50hrvArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

trEs dEsEos, CArtE blAnCHE (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b)390-6106

AngiE nEArs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1)461-8788

CArtE blAnCHE, trEs dEsEos (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a)459-0551

brunEttEs sHoot blondEs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

MAd HEAds xl, pArtyzAnski vytivky (pop-roCk, CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

soul tiME (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

vzrosliy bAnd, Mr oCH And His root boys (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

Hot guys (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

bE bE bAnd (pop-roCk)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

24SaturdayMJ proJECt(CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00Admission: 50hrvArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

Hot guys, MAMA MiA (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b)390-6106

CArtE blAnCHE (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1)461-8788

MAMA MiA, Hot guys (CovEr bAnds)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a)459-0551

MAd HEAds xl, pArtyzAnski vytivky

(pop-roCk, CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 100hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

27Tuesday

JAzz kArAokE nigHt! (kArAokE) Time: 22.00Admission: 40hrvArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

tHE MAgMA (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

9

CHill out (CovEr bAnd) Time: 21.30 Admission: 50hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

tArtilA (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

nigHt bloCk (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

tropiCAnA pArty (dAnCE pArty)Time: 20.00Admission: 50hrvStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

guitAr HousE nEw yEAr JAM sEssion(JAM, CovEr bAnds)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

28Wednesday

bEEfEAtErs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b)390-6106

soME likE it Hot (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a)459-0551

CHill out (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

tHE MAgMA (CovEr bAnd) Time: 21.30 Admission: 50hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

MAgiC bAnd (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

CArtE blAnCHE (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

luCky bAnd (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

AlEnA sAlovA And friEnds (JAzz)

Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

29Thursday

dyAdyA vAsyA (CovEr bAnd) Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

AngiE nEArs (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Khmilna (B Khmelnytskoho 3b)390-6106

rEd roCks (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Moskovskiy Pr 17/1)461-8788

CHill out (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: call and checkBochka Pyvna (Khreshchatyk 19a)459-0551

trEs dEsEos (CovEr bAnd)Time: 22.00 Admission: 50hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

CrAzy trAin (CovEr bAnd) Time: 21.30 Admission: 50hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

MArMAlAdE bAnd (CovEr bAnd)Time: 20.30Admission: freeCiro’s Pomodoro (S Rustaveli 12)221-4545

tHE bluEs briCks (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

tEx-MEx Co (CovEr bAnd)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

: What's On Recommended

Live Music 23-29 December 2011

A Woman and a ManMichel Legrand (France) w/ National Symphony Orchestra, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)23 December at 19.00Winning five Grammys and three Oscars, the legendary French pianist and composer Michel Legrand will soon be in Kyiv. Having worked with eminent musicians such as Edith Piaf, Stevie Wonder, Frank Sinatra and Barbara Streisand, he has written inimitable scores for Hollywood with more than 200 movies, such as The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The Thomas Crown Affair and Wuthering Heights, touched by his musical hand. This upcoming concert, A Woman and a Man, is a selection of Legrand’s most famous and romantic tunes. It is your opportunity to immerse yourself in French charm. Don't miss out. Tickets are 150 – 1750hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

Any and Everything Good Evening Party (cover bands, pop-rock, indie), Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)28 December at 21.00Art Club 44 has put together a few bands to play for your lis-tening pleasure come the end of the month. Belting out hits from rock gods The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Sex Pistols and Red Hot Chili Peppers, our own Kyiv rockers Seahorse, Love’n’Joy, MartiansDoItBetter, In-visible iLand, Rattle Rats and Stepan I Meduza will each take to the stage over the course of the evening to do their worst. Admission is 40hrv. For more information call 279-4137.

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47.indb 10 20.12.2011 18:36:50

snigurkA pArty – dJs konstAntin ozEroff, dAnTime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 free, after L-free, G-25hrvBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

bspTime: 22.00Admission: L-free, G-90hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

r’n’b booM – strAvElli, dJs lAdy, Mykvik, MECHAnik, MC HiHATime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-20hrv, G-30hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

26MondaypivoMAniA – dJ sizETime: 21.00Admission: call and checkAura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

sAlsAtEquATime: 21.00Admission: before 23.00 –free, after L-20hrv, G-50hrvCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

wHo’s tHE Artist?Time: 22.00Admission: freeShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

intErnAtionAl dAy of tHE bAr – dJs sErgEy MAnkovsky, originAl b, vAssAbi, provA JonEsTime: 22.00Admission: 35hrvArena (Baseina 2a)093-947-7476

gAngstEr pArty – dJs diMA MAtrosov, roCkstArTime: 23.00Admission: call and checkSky Bar (V Vasilkiivska 5)223-8888

24Saturday

fAsHion sEssion – dJs irA CHAMpion, MArkA polA,

id CrAsH, nigHt, MC AlEx vAn CoolTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-30hrv, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

sExy pyJAMAs pArtyTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.00 free, after L-50hrv, G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

MErry CHristMAs Time: 22.00Admission: free until 23.00, after call and checkD’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3)200-9009

nEw yEAr’s drEss rEHEArsAl – dJs dAn, nAtAli loriEntTime: 22.00Admission: call and checkBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

yolki-pAlki – dJ stAr skyTime: 22.00Admission: call and checkCD Bar (Pryrechnaya 11a)229-8829

Art bEAt! – dJs spy.dEr, kon, Joss

Time: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-50hrv, G-70hrv, after L-60hrv, G-80hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

CrystAl roCks – dJs fAlini, nEw JACk, AlEx

pridE, tiM, lunni, AntoniTime: 23.00Admission: 100hrvCrystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1)288-5069

sExy HousE nEw yEAr’s drEss rEHEArsAl – dJs AndrEy bAlkonsky, sound killErs, dAviddJ, dEnny sMilETime: 00.00Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrvPrime (Nauki 8)524-2209

tHE wArd nuMbEr 6 – dJs dr. gErbut, kEyTime: 23.00Admission: call and checkSky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5)223-8888

CHristMAs nigHt – dJs sErgE prosHE, EvA

Time: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 free, after L-free, G-100hrvMantra (Baseina 2a)050-336-2848

lAtin AMEriCAn MusiCTime: 22.00Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrvCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

bAss ME MEEts zHiguli – Minikin, purplE unit,

i wAnnAbE, sHrus, zHiguli, bArdTime: 23.00Admission: before 01.00 50hrv, after 60hrvXlib (Frunze 12)417-3233

2-yEAr birtHdAy pArty – ivAn MEndozA, dJ pink

CrEAM, dJ sAMAntoTime: 22.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvVodka Bar (Globus-2nd line, Maidan Nezalezhnosti)371-1102

25SundaypHototErApiA – dJs tApolsky, AlExAndr fAyzulin, kirill MixEr, Horsy, spiElEr, MCs sEMEnoff, MAlysHEffTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-15hrv, G-30hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

27TuesdayirA CHAMpionTime: 18.00Admission: call and check Maximym (Dekabristov 12/37)562-6262

Mix stylE – dJ sHtuzErTime: 21.00Admission: call and checkAura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

friEndsHip of nAtionsTime: 22.00Admission: freeShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

disCo-lAtinoTime: 22.00Admission: call and checkCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

disCotEquE of tHE 80s – dJ vElskiyTime: 21.00Admission: freeAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

28WednesdaywoMEn’s fEAst – dJs bodrov, roMA rio, JuMpEr, vovA blACks, MC klubniCHkATime: 21.00Admission: before 00.00 L-free, after L-50hrv, G-90hrv Shooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

lAtinA fiEstA pArty – dJ stAlkErA, MC AdAMTime: 21.00Admission: freeAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

islAnd of AMAzonkAsTime: 21.00Admission: call and checkCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

rAdio dAy - dJ sHtuzErTime: 21.00Admission: call and checkAura (Vyshgorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

29Thursday

prE nEw yEAr’s sEt-off – dJs burzHuy, nAtAsHA

rostovA, AlEx iMprEzA, s MAnkovskyTime: 23.30Admission: 80hrvSullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-485-5555

lAdiEs nigHtTime: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-100hrvAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

if tHErE wAs A sEA of bEErTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.00 free, after L-free, G-90hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

disCo-lAtinoTime: 22.00Admission: call and checkCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

HArd wAvE – stEpAn ivAnovyCH sHpAk (us),

MindfrEAk, siCkHEAd, AlEx HEnkEr, A fAllEn, AgAMi MosHTime: 23.00Admission: 50hrvI Love Amsterdam (Pobedy Pr 47)097-155-1133

11

23FridayiMpErAtor’s dAyTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.00 L-free, after 50hrv, G-90hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

Hon.s kitCHEn s noviM godoM – dJs ArtEM nEbA,

tokyo, MArikA rossA, olEksAndr gAliCkiy, spiElEr, ClubEr, MC roMAnTime: 22.00Admission: L-40hrv, G-50hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

Hit fridAy by Hit fM – dJs konstAntin ozEroff, wAtsonTime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-70hrvBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

kiss fM nEw yEAr pArty – dJs ronski spEEd, sMArt ApEs, ivAn ionov, Air-t, d’Jok, sAylExTime: 22.00Admission: L-60hrv, G-70hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

stAr wArs: AttACk of tHE bAss EpisodE ii –

dJs toMbA, JikE, dubErMAn, trilobEAt, sHk, voblATime: 23.00Admission: 90hrvCinema Club (Entusiastiv 1)555-5854

dJs zoloto, AlEx iMprEzA, nobrAin, Time: 22.00Admission: L-20hrv, G-40hrvAldo Flirt Club (Milyutenko 7)067-536-6565

Hits of tHE yEAr 2012 – dJs rAdA noizE, bAyTime: 22.00Admission: call and checkCD Bar (Pryrechnaya 11a)229-8829

young linE grAnd opEning – dJs sErgEy MAnkovsky,

tECHnolog, nobrAinTime: 17.00Admission: 50hrvSullivan Room (Prorizna 8) 066-485-5555

lAtin AMEriCAn MusiCTime: 22.00Admission: L-100hrv, G-150hrvCaribbean Club (Kominternu 4)288-1290

disCo fridAy – dJs robot, nikz lorEnz, MC AlEx vAn CoolTime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrvPrime (Nauki 8)524-2209

wEEk off – blAstA, vAltA, koloAH AkA CriM,

MniAl, ftCt, MyztiCAl, sCrEAMtECH, dubMAstA, JAH MikE, toM sinETime: 23.000Admission: before 01.00 60hrv, after 70hrvXlib (Frunze 12)417-3233

Nightlife 23-29 December 2011

: What's On Recommended

A French Invasion Invasion Show w/ Joachim Garraud (France, electro house), D’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3)23 December at 23.00French DJ Joachim Garraud has been around for a long time. Born in ’68 with a keyboard attached to the hip, he was one of the first to experiment with techno. Pioneering what some call numerical music, he has since gone on to produce and work with artists such as David Guetta, Jean-Michel Jarre, David Bowie, Culture Club and Moby. His Invasion Show will be making it around the world. Make sure you catch him while he’s here in Kyiv. For tickets or more information call 200-9009.

Not Just a Place for Cars Garage Club Grand Opening, Garage (Draizera 21)23 December 22.00More than just a place for fixing up your old jalopy, Garage is also good for getting your tired body on the mend. With top music from fantastic DJs, this brand new club is opening its doors to car-lovers and night owls alike! Clad in overalls and covered in grease, fantastic electro-house mu-sic man, DJ Shumskiy, will be the evening’s top mechanic, and accompa-nied by Evoleen Fashion DJ, DJ Stas Kill and DJ Vito Kyanti, they will get all of your motors running! With PJs set up to entertain and gifts to give away, don’t miss out on your chance to be the first in Garage!Admission is free. For more information call 063-956-8985.

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47.indb 13 20.12.2011 18:37:19

Kyi

v K

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In spite of or perhpas due to the huge diversity in musical tastes, the band has created a sound many critics are calling very European. With an open-door policy when it comes to ideas, Yulia says, “The very name of the band, The Hardkiss, implicates this diversity. It is a mix of something soft, tender, sweet and melodic together with a hard beat and great drive.”

Step by StepAs a combination of all of their interests – jazz, rock, house, etc – their music is impressive. But that’s not the only thing audiences seem to be impressed with. Whether it’s the masked mad-man Kreechy, the funky hairstyles Yulia seems so keen on, Val’s striking look, or the DJ dude be-hind the turntable, their image is every bit as im-portant as their music. It’s something the band’s stylist and hair guru, Slava Chaika and Vitaliy Datsyuk respectively, really appreciate, and Yulia says it’s one of the reasons they sound and look so different. Continuing on down their own path toward a fu-ture that screams popularity, the group says their new album is on its way shortly. Ditching the idea of digital, they’d love to go vinyl. But that’s not such an easy decision. “If we want a Grammy then we’ll need a CD. But I personally prefer the sound of analog. And then of course, this is the era of the internet, which is a powerful musical tool as well,” says Val. While Babylon was the first track released via the World Wide Web, Yulia says their first debut Dance With Me will be out very soon. “With a couple of acoustic variations, as well as a video, we are doing everything step by step.” It’s something that seems to have worked for them so far.

Yulia Sanina, Val, Max and Kreechy started fast and furious. Becoming a sensation almost as soon as their first debut hit – Babylon – was released

this September, they quickly found themselves playing huge events like Ukraine’s MTV Video Awards, warming up for Hurts and of course playing our birthday party, all within the span of just a couple of months. As newbies to the mas-sive market of music, The Hardkiss has planted one juicy big one all over Kyiv. We for one are eager for more.

The Common ThreadKnocking on our office door, only half of The Hardkiss core members, Yulia and Val, arrive one balmy December afternoon. I am disappointed the masked madman, Kreechy, has not accom-panied. I was kind of hoping to get behind the rational of the disguise. But c'est la vie. The one character I wasn’t expecting was their manager, Volodymr, who takes a seat as far from me as pos-sible. He acts as though he’s not going to get in-volved in our little chat, which is funny because I ask one question and he’s already cutting in. Yulia displays the tough little chickie she is im-mediately, however, and tells him to put a sock in it. The question that has sparked such a reaction revolves around the band’s beginnings. Yulia answers honestly. “This does require clarifica-tion. There was a project called Val and Sanina, which has nothing to do with our current band. People still confuse the two, even though what we were doing back then was very different. We tried, unsuccessfully, to combine Russian lyrics with dance music, and even shot a video. The problem

was that we had both been brought up on West-ern music and that was where our hearts were. We decided to drop it and start anew.”Even before this first project went south, how-ever, theirs was a relationship made of Hollywood movies. Val had just returned from the UK work-ing as a producer on a music channel. Yulia was a young journalist wanting an interview for her school paper. They had “a special connection”, of which music was the common thread.

The Implications of DiversityEven still, it was an interesting correlation. Yulia had been raised on jazz and performed hun-dreds of times throughout her childhood. Val had been producing and was fascinated by rock (as evidenced by his two earrings and rugged ap-pearance). “My first favourite band was Depeche Mode," says the hard-core musician. "My parents even have a video of me dancing to the music. Later on, I started listening to Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Manson and Slip Knot." In comparison, Yulia’s musical icons – George Benson, Betty Ostin and Diana Krall – were a little less rough around the edges. But this is perhaps where the group’s strength lies. Adding yet another layer, Max is the group’s DJ. With a massive affinity for Dub Step and Break Beat, he ensures all of thier tunes include a proper pro-gressive rhythm.Interestingly enough, Kreechy has been left out of all conversation up to this point. I ask why. “Kreechy doesn’t want any publicity because of some personal issues. We respect his request. And yet, his image suits the overall image of the band perfectly!”

Cover StoryVadym Mishkoriz

What happens if you put a jazz vocalist, a heavy metal bassist, a club DJ and a masked percussionist together in a room for a few hours? There is no fancy punch line coming. The answer lies in the common language these four communicate in – music. With that common language they created The Hardkiss.

Babylonians of the New Age

14

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Brotherhood of Ethno Dakha Brakha (Ukraine) & Port Mone (Belarus, ethno, pop-rock), Artists House (Artema 1b)22 February at 19.30Dakha Brakha and Port Mone began their experimental union just a year ago. They rehearsed a bit together, then went back to their routines, and then de-cided to amalgamate just once more. Creating a show centred around philosophy and ethnicity, expect something a little out of the ordinary. Tickets are 120 – 320hrv. For more information call 272-0547.

Stealing ChristmasNew Year Marvels, Dyvosvit (Malynovskoho 24/10)24 December – 8 January at 11.00 & 13.00 & 15.00Remember the Grinch who tried desperately to steal Christmas? Well, he’s at it again! Only this time he’s doing it right under our very noses with a perfor-mance here in the captial! The kids of Kyiv don’t seem to mind, however. They’re holiday spirit is much stronger than that of the sly Grinch. After the show, every-one will get the chance to meet up with our Ukrainian Did Moroz and his lovely Snegurochka with whom all of your Christmas and New Year wishes will be granted! It’s going to be a great afternoon of fun and surprises! Admission is 130hrv. For more in-formation call 238-2888.

Georgian Temperament in KyivSukhishvili National Georgian Ballet, Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)18 & 19 February at 19.00The Sukhishvili National Georgian Ballet is a frequent guest to Kyiv, mainly because Ukrainian audiences welcome the group of dancers and musicians so open-heartedly. Inflaming Georgian music, unbe-lievable tricks from the guys and intricate movements from the girls is what you will find – and more! – all wrapped up in one evening. With surprises up their big bell sleeves each and every year they come, open yourself to the passion of this incredible group. Tickets are 150 – 1350hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

A Traditional Ukrainian ChristmasKolyada – Concert of traditional Ukrainian Christmas songs, National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)3 January at 19.00Christmas is a special holiday for all and one Ukrainians par-ticularly enjoy. Full of ancient folk traditions revealed in mu-sic and poems, they are called kolyadky and shchedrivky, and consist of short musical com-positions sung throughout the holiday wishing everyone a happy, generous, cheerful and prosper-ous new year. Should you wish to take part in this magical Ukrai-nian Christmas celebration, the National Philharmonic and the Bandura Chapel Ensemble will be saving you a seat! Tickets are 20 – 120hrv. For more information call 278-1697.

The First and The LastJudas Priest (UK, heavy metal), Palace Sport (Sportyvna Pl 1)

16 April at 19.00Judas Priest are saying farewell, and personally doing so in almost every country around Europe, their debut

here to Ukraine will in fact be their finale. Most of the five musicians making the trek have been preaching since the very beginning, and do not come light-handed. Promising a two and a half hour show, it’s going to be full

of special effects, lasers, smoke, fire, video installation and much more. They won a Grammy recently for Best Metal Performance in 2010 – this is that show. Don’t miss out!Tickets are 350 – 800hrv. For more information call 246-7406.

16 Coming Soon

47.indb 16 20.12.2011 18:37:36

Aphrodite’s ChildDemis Roussos (Greece, world music), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)8 March at 19.00 The legendary Demis Roussos is coming to Ukraine next year with a string of musical souvenirs. Along with his remarkable tenor, his unmistakable tremolo will no doubt have people lined up for tick-ets to hear what many call the Greek Nightingale. Born in Egypt to Greek parents, he has been hugely successful in this part of the world, and still gets standing ovations for his most famous work From Souvenirs To Souvenirs. This will no doubt be an evening of true Mediterranean romance! Tickets 200 – 1250hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

Drumming Up a Storm Yamato (Japan, Taiko drummers), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)31 March at 19.00Yamato are incredible. Full stop. If you’ve not seen this traditional Japanese drumming art before, you would be well-advised to take the opportunity this spring.

Founded in 1993 with their inter-national debut in 1998, they have since given thousands of perfor-mances the world over. Creating a spectacular show expressing both their musical and artistic flair, these 13 drummers are going to have the entire audience march-ing to beat of the same drum. Tickets are 150 – 1200hrv. For more information call 247-2316.

Grown-up TalentAlina Grosu (pop), October Palace (Instytutska 1)22 March at 19.00It was the talent portion that won Alina Grosu the Mini Miss Ukraine at just three-years old. Continuing to sing and write her own lyrics throughout her child-hood, she has grown into a prop-er performer with genuine star quality. Performing her brand new grown-up programme, For-give Me My Love, Iryna Bilyk and Vitaliy Kozlovskiy will be ac-companying her. For anyone into Ukrainian music, this should be a great show. Tickets are 50 – 500hrv. For more information call 279-1582.

Latin Flavoured Movement Immigration to Cuba – exhibition of paintings by Yuriy Yermolenko, Zeh Gallery (Frunze 69)From February 2012Yuriy Yermolenko is much-loved by the Zeh Gallery, whose exhibitions are housed on a regu-lar basis. Let it be known, however, it is not because of nepotism or reverse prejudice. Rather, works by Yermolenko end up on the walls of this gallery because of his ingenuity and creativ-ity. Spending six weeks of the winter in Cuba last year, inspired installations of great magni-tude were the result. Just how big are we talking? Try 17 metres x 4! For more information call 591-1369

Legend of RockKonstyantyn Nikolskiy (Russia, pop-rock, instrumental), October Palace (Instytutska 1)25 February at 19.00Konstyantyn is one of the found-ers of rock music in a country and during a time when it was more than just frowned upon to break the rules. Composing for himself as well as many Rus-sian and Ukrainian singers, he comes to Kyiv in the new year to present his From Love To Love programme. Prepare to be im-pressed.Tickets are 150 – 850hrv. For more information call 279-1582.

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001_ComicSoon_Wok_47_11_541.indd 19 20.12.2011 19:01:15

20 Take Me Out! Listings

KazbeK�30a L. Ukrainky blvd.285-4805Open: 11.00 - 24.00Restaurant with original interior and traditional Tone stove for baking bread.

Kuvshyn�10 Fedorova st.592-6363Open: 12.00 - 24.00Caucasian cuisine. Every dish served in its own original and unique manner.

MiMino�10a Spasskaya st. (Podol)417 35 45Open: 12.00 – 00.00www.karta.uaAuthentic Georgian cuisine

Wi-Fi

europeanbacchus�class�Chapaeva 2/16 (I.Franka)St.234-6506Open: 09.00 – till the last visitor leaveswww.bacchusclass.comThe one and the only Wine restaurant in Ukraine.

Wi-Fi

7FriDays�ciTy-caFe B Khmelnytskoho 29278-1187www.7fridays.kiev.uaSituated in the very heart of Kyiv, the 7Fridays cafe is bursting with city life while striving to preserve a homelike atmosphere. Offering a peaceful corner to forget about city rush, stop for delicious European cuisine for breakfast, business-lunch or dinner. Internet available.

Wi-Fi

sTory�caFe�17/18 Naberezhno-Kreschatitskaya st.467 78 97Open: 11.00 – 00.00www.karta.uaFrench, Italian & Japanese cuisine

Wi-Fi razgulyaevo�70 Stolichnoe highway (to Koncha-Zaspa)259 17 00Open: 11.00 – to the last clientwww.karta.uaEntertainment complex (restaurant, hotel, sauna, paintball)

Wi-Fi

FrenchcoMMe�il�FauT��resTauranT������� �Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A219-1919Open: Monday-Saturday 11:00-23:00Elegant French restaurant in the heart of Kiev. Every day enjoy a unique business lunch with glass of wine. Come and try our new autumn menu…

crep�De�chine��25 Hoholivska st.537-7070Open: 08.00 – 23.00A culinary expirience you won’t forget!

MeDiTerraneanolivera� �2A Velyka Zhytomyrska Street219-1919Open: 06.30 - 23.00All day Mediterranean restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every day enjoy our Business lunch and Olivera Steak house. Spoil you friends and family with Sunday brunch from 13.00 weekly.

TeaTro�resTauranT�opera�hoTel�53 B. Khmelnitskogo st.581 70 70Open: 06.30 – 23.00Mediterranean cuisine. Exquisite selection of the best dishes around the Mediterranean Sea Flavors & Tastes at their best!

TerracoTTa� �5-7/29 Pushkinska st.537-4535Open: 07.00 - 23.00Mediterranean restaurant of superior cuisine. Wine and cigar rooms offer the perfect touch to Terracotta’s delicious dining experience

vernissage�caFe�Artema 10 272-2003Open Mon-Fri 8.00 – 22.00Sat-Sun 11.00 – 22.00

Wi-Fi

FusionbeeF�MeaT�&�Wine�Shota Rustaveli 11225-0035 Open: 12.00-24.00Meet cuisine with no ethnic equivalent. Only the best meat from top suppliers and a wide choice of wine match.

Wi-Fi

buDDha-bar�Kiev��14 Kreschatik st. (near Khreshchatyk hotel)270- 7676 Open: Mo – Wed: 13.00 – 02.00Thu – Sat: 13.00 – 04.00 Sun: 14.00 – 02.00www.buddhabar.com.uaRestaurant lounge-bar

Wi-Fi

MarraKesh�24 Sagaydachnogo st. (Podol)494 0 494Open: Sun – Thu: 12.00 – 01.00Fri – Sat: 12.00 – 04.00www.karta.uaOriental restaurant. Moroccan, French & Japanese cuisine. Hookah menu.

Wi-Fi

Marocana�24 Lesi Ukrainky blvd.254-4999 Open: 11.00 - 02.00This popular beau monde hang-out bills itself as a fashion TV cafe.

inTernaTionalarena�enTerTainMenT� �2-a Baseyna st.492-0000Open: 9.00 ‘til the last visitor leavesSpacious and cozy restaurant with European cuisine and micro brewery.

bier�plaTz�(neW!)�Maidan Nezalezhnosti – 7 Khreshchatyk 067-407-5544 From 11.00 until the last client Delicious Czech, German and Ukrainian cuisine. 11 sorts of draft beer. 7 plasma screeens and 1 huge wall screen, offering various sports channels.

Wi-Fi

b-hush�� �Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A11th floor, InterContinental KyivMob. +38 050 355 93 72Open: Mon - Thu: 18.00 - 02.00

Fri - Sat: 18.00 - 04.00Rooftop lounge bar b-hush - Rise above the bustle and enjoy the breathtaking panoramic view of the city. Our specialties include Asian Fusion menu, extensive cocktail menu and hookah menu.

grill�asia��resTauranT� �5 Alla Tarasova st.581-12-34 Open: 6:00 - 24:00Two open kitchens, European and Asian cuisine in luxurious surroundings.Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

inTerconTinenTal� � �Kyiv�lobby��lounge�bar� �Velyka Zhytomyrska St. 2A1 st floor, InterContinental Kyiv219-1919Open: 08.00 - 02.00Enjoy the best coffee in town with home made pastries in a unique atmosphere. Great selection of whiskies, wine and comfort food at your choice - Lobby lounge the place to meet in Kiev.

MyKa�resTauranT��Khreshchatyk 46a227 8943 Open: 12-24 Delicious international cuisine in the heart of Kyiv

resTauranTsaMerican

arizona�bbQ�25 Naberezhno Khreshchatytska st.425-2438Open: 08.00 – 24.00The only American run restaurant in Kyiv, open since 1995. Free Wifi, drinks, food, parking, satellite TV, credit cards, live music

neW�yorK�bagel�caFe�Shota Rustaveli 15235-9437Open: Mon – Fri 9.00-21.00. Sat – Sun 10.00 – 11.00Big Apple’s best recipes in Kyiv’s first New York Bagle Cafe.

saM’s�sTeaK�house� �37 Zhylyanskaya st.287 20 00Open: 08 a.m. – 12 a.m.www.karta.uaSteak House. Grill restaurant. Breakfast. Wide choice. 8 a.m. - 12 p.m., weekdays

Wi-Fi

asianTerrace�Mezhigirska 87 B str. +380932673630+380443511572 Оpen: 18 00 – 06 00 Asian style, comfortable room karaoke with beauties.

saFFron�3 Vorovskogo st.569 10 10Open: Sun – Wed: 12.00 – 00.00Thu – Sat: 12.00 – 05.00www.karta.uaOriental cuisine, Karaoke-lounge

Wi-Fi nobu�12 Shota Rustaveli st.246-7734 Open: 12.00 - 24.00Sushi bar in central location. Great decor and service, wide menu of authentic sushi.

TubiTeyKa�29/50 Tarasivska st.287-0242Open: 8.00 – 23.00Asian and home made cuisine, delicious breakfasts, kalian. Oriental atmosphere – and decoration.

� � � � � �Wi-Fi��

caucasianani�72 Chervonoarmiyska st. 4th floor590-2565Open: 11.00-23.00An open show-case kitchen will let you watch the respected Chef cook traditional dishes on the chargrill for you.

hinKali�4, Shota Rustaveli st.234-0692Open: 24 hoursReal Caucasian culture reproduced in its best meals. Cuisine with an accent.

47.indb 20 20.12.2011 18:38:06

47.indb 21 20.12.2011 18:38:09

47.indb 22 20.12.2011 18:38:18

47.indb 23 20.12.2011 18:38:44

Merry Christmas ACC! PARIS DAKAR Gathering its members on 15 December for the final Business Networking Cocktail this year, the Chamber gave every one of its members the opportunity to share their achievements from the current year as well as any and all plans for the next. The evening was themed Christmas Is In the Air and was a great way for friends old and new to celebrate this festive time of year together before everyone takes off for the holidays. Merry Christmas ACC!

Santa Clause has just enough arms for beauties Valeria Glotova and Elena Kvartiuk

Peter Worswick of KPMG and Mark Senyk of Atlantic Group hooking up with a friend

Wishing the Chamber well, it’s Valeriy Kozlov of Integrites

AMC’s Tetyana Poltashevskaya and friend giving Santa their wish list

Happy Holidays from the Germans GERMAN EMBASSY Getting gussied up for the holidays, the German Embassy decided to send a few invitations out to friends for a festive celebration of Christmas on 14 December. Mixing European and Ukrainian traditions in one the Embassy’s great halls, Santa and Snegurochka (Did Moroz’s granddaughter) caused many a smile from kids of all ages. After the fun-loving ambassador, HE Heimsoeth, said a few words, everyone joined hands and danced around the tree as old Slavic tradition dictates. Filled with the Christmas spirit, everyone went home happy and ready for the holidays.

Head of German Embassy’s Economic Department Michael Freudenberg and Defence Attaché Col Gerhard Hagner

Wife of German Ambassador Lizabeth Heimsoeth (left) singing traditional Christmas carols

Heinrich Boll Fund representative Kyrylo Savin with his daughter

German Ambassador HE Ambassador Hans-Jürgen Heimsoeth whispers his wishes to Santa

24 Kyiv Life

47.indb 24 20.12.2011 18:39:09

25

John Hughes’ Contribution JOHN HUGHES BREWERY (Donetsk) and SOLOMYANSKA BREWERY (Kyiv) The BUCC has been busy as of late honouring Welsh businessman, John Hughes, for having founded the Ukrainian city of Donetsk in 1869. Having made his fortune in steel in the UK, Hughes moved to Ukraine where he was instrumental in creating the first steel blast furnaces as well as the first public access hospitals, schools and other amenities. Businessmen, diplomats and officials of many nationalities, made the trek from the capital to join those in Donetsk for a commemoratory dinner at the brewery named after Hughes on 30 November. The same was done on 14 December highlights of the evening in the east were shared with contemporaries here in Kyiv at the Solomyanska Brewery. Both events were highly attended and put a start to a fruitful cooperation between BUCC and Donetsk Chamber of Commerce.

Sky Net’s Lilia Vasilyeva and Pierre Sleiman

British Ambassador HE Leigh Turner chatting with President of Gerc Construction Oleksandr Rotov

Natalia Dobrovolska networking with Niall Cullens of the British

Embassy and Iryna Voytsekhovska of BC Toms & Co

Milan Pajevic of Slav Invest Group together with the Ambassador of Croatia HE Zeljko Kirincic

Glyn Thomas of Amstar happily taking part

Oleksandr Sylakin of Mott MacDonald and Victor Leleka of Ukrinterenergo enjoying the evening

Anna Ganich and Claude Thomann seem to be enjoying the evening

Noble Group Ltd Roy Rafael Bercovitz, Ron Barden of PWC and Jock Mendoza-Wilson of SCM sampling the hops

47.indb 25 20.12.2011 18:39:45

Young and ContemporaryPINCHUKARTCENTRE On 9 December, the winners of the annual nationwide PinchukArtCentre Prize were announced. Awarding Mykuta Kadan 100,000hrv and an internship with a world famous artist of his choice, the international jury were unanimous in their decision. The lucky Kadan will also appear on the shortlist of the Future Generation Art Prize – an international competition for young artists. Awarded for their contribution, Zhanna Kadyrova, Serhiy Radkevych and Mukyta Shalenny also received special mentions. All of their work stays on display until 8 January of next year. Take a moment to take a look at Ukraine’s most contemporary art!

Pinchuk Art Prize nominees waiting anxiously for the results

Host of the event, singer Kuzma Skryabin with the head of Barbican British Art Gallery Kate Bush announcing the special prize-winner

Founder of PinchukArtCentre Viktor Pinchuk with the laureate of the Pinchuk Art Prize 2011 Mykyta Kadan

Professional artists Dmytro Logvinov, Vlada Ralko and Volodymyr Budnikov out to take a look at the future generation

At the Movies Everything’s Possible UKRAINA CINEMA Some came to see their idol Tom Cruise, others because they love action, but all of them were on one and only mission on 15 December – to be the first to watch the fourth part of the Hollywood blockbuster Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. The organisers did not keep guests waiting long, and after a short buffet invited the starry-eyed audience into the theater to watch the long-awaited premiere.

Socialites Tetyana Honcharova and Natalya Okunska in animal print – rrrrrr!

Actress Anna Suvorova and stylist Ruslan Zakharchenko pose for a pic

Singer Oksi hoping to attract Tom Cruise’s attention

Ukrainian reality TV show – ESP Battle – participant Maksym Hordeev tries to predict Ethan Hunt’s fate with a friend

26 Kyiv Life

47.indb 26 20.12.2011 18:40:36

27

Artist Oleh Kulik with art fanatic Kostya Doroshenko

UkrAvto’s Nina Vasadze herself a piece of art

Ira Gabidzashvili and Inna Tkachuk of VMT developmen

Head of the Museum of Russian Art, Yuriy Vakulenko checks out the exhibition

Director of the M17 art centre Oleksiy Titarenko

TV Host Tatiana Ramus andHelen Marlen’s Oksana Kavickaya together with Evgenia Mironova

Appreciating all things artistic, politician Oles Dovgiy

Businessmen Valeriy Mironov and Ihor Voronov stop for a pic of their own

Lost Paradise MIRONOVA GALLERY On 16 December one of the most shocking and rebellious artists of the post-Soviet space, Oleh Kulik, came to Kyiv to officially open his newest exhibition, Lost Paradise. Known the world over for crazy but creative antics, Kulik has since turned philosophical where his most recent works showcase Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden having tried the forbidden fruit. Sensual and suggestive photos of these two appear amidst pictures of animals, causing the viewer to stand transfixed in front of each piece. Take a look for yourself. It’s there until 25 January.

47.indb 27 20.12.2011 18:40:45

47.indb 28 20.12.2011 18:41:53

www.frishberg.com

Frishberg & Partners10 Gorky Street, Suite 801004 Kyiv, UkraineTel: (38044) 585-8464Fax: (38044) 235-6342

Frishberg & Partners10 Gorky Street, Suite 801004 Kyiv, UkraineTel: (38044) 585-8464Fax: (38044) 235-6342 www.frishberg.com

47.indb 29 20.12.2011 18:42:17

30 Essential Kyiv

Fitness Centres

GOLF CENTREObolonska Naberezhna 20 230-9436www.golf-center.com.uaThe Golf Centre offers 36 stations, a 2-level floodlit driving range, 7-hole golf course, Golf Academy, Pro Shop and restaurant. No membership required! Plenty of free parking on site

Club OlympusAlla Tarasova 5 581-1234

Cyber GymB. Khmelnytskoho 50 465-3171

Kiev Sport ClubBlvd Druzhby Narodiv 5 522-8866

Premier Palace Fitness CenterBlvd T. Shevchenka 5-7/29 537-453

Hotels

InterContinental Velyka Zhytomyrska Str 2A 219-1919hotel.kiev@ihg.comhttp://intercontinental-kiev.com

Dnipro Hotel Khreschatyk 1/2 254-6777 254-6737reservation@dniprohotel.kiev.ua

www.dniprohotel.kiev.ua

Hyatt Regency Kyiv Alla Tarasova 5 581-12-34

581-12-35info.hrkyiv@hyatt.comwww.kyiv.regency.hyatt.com

Opera Hotel

B. Khmelnitskoho 53

581-70-70

537-73-73

reservations@opera-hotel.com

www.opera-hotel.com

Premier Palace Hotel Blvd T. Shevchenka / Pushkinska 5-7/29 537-45-00 279-87-72Reservation: 244-12-11info@premier-palace.comwww.premier-palace.com

Lybid HotelPeremohy Square 1 +380 239 76 00 +380 236 63 36reception@hotellybid.com.uawww.hotellybid.com.ua

Radisson BLU Hotel Yaroslaviv Val 22Reservations: 492-2200 492-2210 info.kiev@radissonblu.comwww.radissonblu.com/hotel-kiev

Marriage AgenciesWant to meet a lady who is looking for a man like you ? Save your time and energy and visit www.marriagebynatali.com or call Natali personally at +38-067-232-0803.Our reputation speaks for itself.

Recruitment

Diamond RecruitersMoskovska 43/11, 3rd floor, office 8 332-3100www.diamondrecruiters.netkyiv@diamondrecruiters.netDiamond Recruiters helps you attract, retain and motivate Ukrainian and foreign talent. Our special-ties include finance, administration, change management, and IT. Middle to senior management positions.

Medical Centers

American Medical CentersEmergency Phone: +38 (044) 490 7600

Berdychivska, 1 +38 (044) 490 7600+38 (044) 490 7600patientservices@amc.com.ua

Language CoursesSMARTFOXLanguage school, Translation’s agencyVandy Vasylevskoi 7 502-6290www.baziscenter.com

Center of Spanish Language and CultureObolonska 7, 1st Floor 239-2418www.spanish.com.ua

Ez EnglishBlvd Lesi Ukrainki 16, #18 235-5926

International HouseVandy Vasylevskoi 7 238-9870

Oxford KlassSchool of EnglishEnglish for adults and children, Cinema club34 Ivana Mazepa St.Kiev, 01015, Ukraine 594-10-64 594-10-62

Translation Services100 MOVNahirna 24/1489-5856

Alliance-profiMechnikova 6, #33235-6643, 592-4588

On Time Translation AgencyMaiakovskoho Pr 10, 2nd floor228 02 91www.ontime.in.ua

Anakonda-translate 529-3302

Internet CafesBunkerArtema 11-a 272-4860

Cyber CafeProrizna 21 278-0548

OrkiKhmelnitskoho 29/2 228-1187

Air France-KLMKiev, 34/33, Ivana Franka str.490-24-90, 496-35-75www.airfrance.ua,www.klm.ua

Airports

Boryspil International Airport 490-4777www.boryspilairport.kiev.ua

Kyiv-Zhulyany International airportPovitroflotsky 92 242-2309/08www.airport.kiev.ua

Beauty SalonsFavorit V.I.P. ClubMuzeyny 6 278-3338

EducationAmerican Academy of Foreign LanguagesDymytrova 16, #16 230-2608

A.B.C.P. Lumumby 23/35, #13 239-1091

Language school Nota Bene- Russian and Ukrainian for foreigners- Business English- German, French, Spanish, Italian 8(097) 400-9699

8(067) 738-1691 278-8036

Volodymyrska 7, #17notabene.school@gmail.com

British Council Teaching CentreSkovorody 4/12 490-5600

Educational Program LEGO Education Borysa Hmyri 6Klovskiy Uzviz 8Heroiv Stalingradu 18 383-5150, 383-5152, 577-2900www.vynahidnyk.org

DTelite SchoolSahaydachnoho 20/2 417-5770

Business English CenterLesi Ukrainky 3, #114 234-0871

GreenwichProrizna 22-b 592-7843

Airlines

Ukraine International Airlinesticket office in Kiev4, Lysenka Street

(044) 581-50-50

www.flyUIA.com

Austrian AirlinesKyiv City OfficeVelyka Vasylkivska 9/2,Reservation: 8-800-3000-492office.ukraine@austrian.comwww.austrian.comMore than 60 flights per week from 6 biggest cities in Ukraine to the whole World!

Delta Air LinesGeneral Sales AgentSIA "ContinAt"Chervonoarmiyska 9/2, #17 287-3595www.delta.comNow fly Kiev-New York Non-stop W

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003_Essential_47_11_541.indd 30 20.12.2011 19:13:11

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All Things ConsideredUkrainian Hats

I’m in London at the moment and

take pleasure in reporting to you

that EVERYBODY here is wearing

Ukrainian-style hats! Seriously,

they’re everywhere. I feel like I

haven’t left Kyiv. Perhaps I should

have got that ferret after all

(see opposite).

Ukrainian CraftsI got back and laid my Uzviz pres-

ents out next to my English ones.

The Ukrainian gifts looked by far the

better of the two. Delicate, intricate

and beautifully-made, Ukrainian

crafts are unassumingly Hot at this

time of year.

Fish & ChipsIt’s difficult to explain the intense

pang of patriotism an Englishman

feels when, after months of doing

battle in foreign lands, he returns

home to enjoy ‘a chippy’. It’s the

same for the Scottish and their

deep-fried Mars bars.

Funicular WomenThe ladies working the Podil funicu-

lar continually strive to attain new

levels of customer service. Last week

coins went flying as one of them

smashed the change out of my hand.

I’m not sure what I did to elicit such

a strike, nor what she said to me at

the time, but I don’t think it was

‘Merry Christmas’.

Taxi DriversI know they make an easy What’s

Not target, but they deserve it. My

Ukrainian friend was quoted 100hrv

last week to go two blocks by two

separate taxi drivers. In what fanta-

sy world does this work?

Kyiv MuseumsIn London there are dozens of world-

class museums, with artefacts and

exhibits that will knock your socks

off; all of which are free to visit. In

Kyiv, there’s almost nothing. Unfair

comparison? Probably. But other

Eastern European cities have excel-

lent museums. Here, not so much.

I’ve recently been to the Uzviz to buy my

English family some Ukrainian presents

for Christmas. I’ve been up and down it

dozens of times before, but never with a view

to buying anything. This time I went in tour-

ist mode, and started at the top.

It was a fruitless beginning, because framed

artwork is extremely difficult to trans-

port across a continent. After the art came

smaller things and pushier salespeople, in

what seemed like the cheap bit. Would Sir

like a wall-mounted plastic model of a big-

breasted, red-cheeked Ukrainian woman

by any chance? Or perhaps Sir would like a

moulded fridge magnet comprising unidenti-

fiable blobs representing salo and gherkins,

handmade by singing babushkas in a forest

by a stream?

Sir would like neither, Spaciba very much.

T-shirts showing Hugh Laurie (Dr House)

frowning, key-rings saying ‘I Love Kyiv’, vodka

glasses painted with churches, Russian dolls

depicting Putin – the various stalls had varia-

tions of the same. As the road descended, the

quality seemed to get better. Sellers pushed

their products less, perhaps because their

products looked less like cheap tack. Some

even looked a good bet: the intricately carved

Cossack clubs would be great for my dad,

who could jokingly threaten his wife with it if

the cooking was bad.

My soft spot for woodwork led to the first hag-

gle. Would the man with the gold teeth and

the dodgy leg accept 100hrv for the wooden

bird designed to hang from a ceiling? Appar-

ently not, and we missed out on a deal by

15hrv (after an initial difference of 50hrv),

but I’d got strict per-person budgets, so by

sticking to them I’d passed my first test.

Down I went. One stall had beautifully

painted bowls, another had crafted jewellery,

while yet another sold woollen gloves. When

I realised the ‘discount’ prices were still four

times the price of similar products I’d seen in

weaver’s shops in Western Ukraine, I realised

just how much I was going to get screwed.

But hey. It’s Christmas.

After the art gallery I came across a lone fer-

ret-wool hat quoted at 350hrv. “This rabbit

price” he said, apparently assuming I knew

the typical price of both rabbit and ferret fur

in Kyiv. “Rabbit give few years. Ferret give 20.”

I liked it, and was considering it for my grand-

dad – a Ukrainian who’s lived in England for

60 years. He’d probably hate it, but he’d likely

love the idea of having a Ukrainian hat once

again. I decided to carry on down and think

about it.

On my way back I met Chris and Amanda.

Not only were they at the hat stand, but Chris

had my granddad’s hat on his head. “How do

I look?” he asked. “Like an American with a

dead Ukrainian ferret on his head.” “I know,

cool isn’t it!”

I couldn’t dissuade him, and he began to

haggle He didn’t get much discount (prob-

ably because the guy thought the foreigners

would now fight over the ferret) and in the end

neither of us got it. We decided over a beer

five minutes later that we’d chosen wisely.

I’m not sure if ferret-wearing foreigners are

worse than sex tourists, but it has to be a

close-run race.

Dear Stephen,

Help! The staff at my office recently held their annual Christmas party. I drank too

much and kissed a female colleague in front of everyone. I honestly came down with

the flu immediately after and so have been off work for a few days. Now, however, it’s

time to get back to work. I just worry that there will be many prickly jokes to follow.

Can you give me any advice on how to deal with that? – Anya, 25

Dear Anya,

A good strategy for dealing with taunts is to pre-empt them. Let’s create a scenario

plan. If they over-emphasise the ‘two turtle doves’ when singing 12 Days of Christ-

mas, simply say you’re hoping to make it ‘three French hens’ next year. If they send

you a false Christmas card from the lady with whom you became acquainted, scan

it and save it as your screensaver, before drawing up (and prominently displaying) a

list of office colleagues entitled ‘To Kiss in the New Year’. Finally, if they ask you about

the indiscretion directly, answer thus: “Christmas is about giving, and some gifts are

better than others.” Then wink and walk away.

Yours sincerely

Stephen

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to stephen@whatson-kiev.com

31Stephen Oryszczuk

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