Western Composition

Jonathan Watts

WELCOME BACK TO CLASS!

• Today's objectives:– The four basis for revising essays– More about 'Comparison and Contrast' essays

• Review/Edit our Introductions

FIRST, I will collect your essay introductions! (Checking for completion. I am not grading these.)

Today, we will have a quote.

Nothing goes by luck in composition. It allows of no tricks. The best you can write will be the best you are.– Henry David Thoreau

Last week...

Last week we talked about the 4th step in writing an essay. What are the 4 steps?

1. Begin with a Point or Thesis2. Support your Thesis with Specific Evidence3. Organize and Connect the Specific Evidence4. Revising Sentences

Last week...

What are the 6 different ways of revising sentences that we talked about last week?

ParallelismConsistent point of viewSpecific wordsActive verbsConcise wordsVarying sentences

Why is revision important?

• Today we will talk about ways to evaluate your work by using:– Unity– Support– Coherence– Sentence Skills

Base 1: Unity 统一• If you advance a single point and stick to that

point, your paper will have Unity.• The point here is to see how clearly and

effectively you deliver your point. Is it easy to understand.

• Take 10 minutes and read the first 2 paragraphs (only) of the two essays on pages 136 & 137.

• The point is to see which is more unified.

Unity

• Why is Essay 1 more effective?– Because it is unified. It supports and

develops each of the three main topics.• Essay 2 has a lot of irrelevant (not important)

details that do not relate to the topic. This makes it confusing for the reader.

• To have unity, it must be related to your main topics. Ask yourself, does this relate and provide support?

Base 2: Support 支援• If you support the point with specific evidence,

your paper will have support.• Take 15 minutes and read both of the support

essays. – Which essay has better support? Why?

• Essay 2 makes its point more clearly and effectively because it has better support for its thesis

Support

Why is essay 2 more effective?-it offers specific examples of the ways people deal

with disappointment

When writing, be as specific as possible! Use vivid details. (Paint a picture for the reader)

Essay 1 is not more effective because it lacks specific evidence (凭证 ).

Base 3: Coherence 相干性• If you organize and connect the specific

evidence, your paper will have coherence.• Again, take 10 minutes and read the two

essays on page 142 & 143 (Only read the first 3 paragraphs)

• Which has more coherence?– Essay 2!

• Essay 2 is more effective because it is more clearly organized.

Coherence

Essay 2 is more effective because the information given is organized clearly and logically (逻辑 )

Essay 1 is unified and supported, BUT there is no consistency in the way the writer wrote their essay. It is not consistent.

Base 4: Sentence Skills

• If you write clear, error-free sentences, your paper will demonstrate effective sentence skills.

• Take a few minutes and read the essays on page 145 &146. Which has clear, error free sentences?

– Essay two is free of errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. It shows great use of sentence skills.

Revising Activities

• Become familiar with the 4 different ways to revise that we just talked about.– Do the activities this week on pages 148-160

• This is not your homework assignment this week, I just believe doing these activities will give you a much better understanding of proper revision.

Let's talk about this essay...

• You should already have your topic chosen, your thesis and your introduction written. If we have time today, I would like to look at some of your introductions with the whole class.

• You should have at least 3 supporting details to go along with your topic. If you do not, you need to figure these out today.

My brother Joey is like

a taxi in three ways.

Bu hao.Bu hao.

Even though my brother Joey is twenty years

younger, we have much in common.

Yeah :DYeah :D

Two Columns:

.

Person 1: Amy Carmichael• Went to India!• Some time ago...• Worked with kids.

Rescued girls.• Became “mom” to

many.• Didn't get married.• Died in India.

Two Columns:

.

Person 2:

Katie DavisWent to Uganda at a

really young age.Current...she's 23

now?Work with poor kids. Has 14 girls!Gave up a

relationshipStill alive in Uganda

What's Your Point?

Guidline #2: Determine your point.

• The purpose of a compare or contrast essay is to make a point by showing readers that two items are similar or different.

My sister and I look alike, dress alike, and like the same

foods.What's your What's your point?point?

Even though Vennis and Serena Williams are both

professional tennis stars, they differ in their opinions about

men, movies, and music.Better.Better.

What's Your Point?

• In making comparisons, you should move beyond the obvious.

• If the similarities are obvious, maybe you should choose to contrast.

Compare or Contrast?

Guideline #3: Determine whether to compare or contrast.

• Ask yourself which one (comparing or contrasting) will help you convince readers of your main point.

Compare or Contrast?

Main point: Home-cooked dumplings are superior to street dumplings.

Contrast: price, taste, and nutrition.

Compare or Contrast?

Main point: Dating a village boy is just as good as dating a city boy.

Compare: _____ , _____ , _____.

What's your point?Free-write:• Why do you want to write about these

people?• What point would you be making through

showing their similarities or dissimilarities._______

Which would help you best make the point? To compare or contrast?

Sub-pointsGuideline #4: Determine similar

elements as sub-points

• Make sure you discuss the same (or similar) elements for each person.

• Do not discuss entirely different elements for each person.

Similar Sub-points?

Amy C:• Lived in India• Had brown eyes,

but wished she had blue ones.

• Died in India.

Katie D:• Lived in Uganda• Gave up a

relationship and college education.

• Adopted 14 girls.

Student Example:

China Sports

USA Sports c/c China Sports

Student Example:USA Sports c/c China Sports

• Individual style to express their personality

• Really strong!• Sports are overly

important.

• Uniforms are common or simple.

• More skillful.• Parents encourage

academics over sports.

Student Example:Subject 1China Sports

Subject 2USA Sports

Point A:Uniforms

More common or simple

Individual styles used to express personality

Point B:Performance

More Skill More Strength

Point C:Attitude – Fan support

Parents encourage academics over sports

Sports are very important

Student Example:Three Sub-points:

• Uniforms• Performance• Attitude (support from society)

Sub-points?

As you look over your list, decide how the things you've written down--and others that occur to you-- could fit into three categories that can serve as your supporting points.

Essay Structure

Guideline #5: Determine the best structure.

• Subject by Subject?

• Point by Point?

Point by Point: IntroductionIntroduction

Element AElement A

- subject 1- subject 1

- subject 2- subject 2

Element BElement B

- subject 1- subject 1

- subject 2- subject 2

Element CElement C

- subject 1- subject 1

- subject 2- subject 2

ConclusionConclusion

Subject by Subject: IntroductionIntroduction

Subject 1Subject 1

Sub-pointsSub-points

A, B, and CA, B, and C

Subject 2Subject 2

Sub-pointsSub-points

A, B, and CA, B, and C

ConclusionConclusion

Student Example

Scratch Outlines

Scratch OutlinePrepare a scratch outline for your essay based

on these three supporting points.

MAIN IDEA: ________________________I. First sub-pointII. Second sub-pointIII. Third sub-point

Homework

• Write the body of your essay. • You should have at least 3 paragraphs in your body, with 5-7

sentences in each paragraph.• Each paragraph should highlight a specific supporting detail

from your topic.• Type your body(with introduction) and bring it to class next

week. (Have the proper format)• (Your midterm essay should only be 2-3 pages when you are

finished writing) 500-700 words!• Pg. 147 Revising Sentence skills. Edit the essay (pt. 1)