Welcome to CM206

Interpersonal Communications

Live Seminar Unit 9

Agenda for Seminar

• Welcome

• Review of Chapter 9 & Seminar questions

• Questions

Defining Interpersonal Conflict

• When people in “I-You” or “I-Thou” relationships have different views, interests, or goals and feel a need to resolve those differences• Expressed disagreement• Interdependence• The felt need for resolution

Principles of Conflict

• Conflict is natural in relationships

• Conflict may be expressed overtly or covertly

• Social groups share the meaning of conflict behaviors

• Conflict can be managed well or poorly

• Conflict can be good for individuals and relationships

Orientations to Conflict

• Lose-Lose

• Win-Lose

• Win-Win

Responses to Conflict

• The exit response

• The neglect response

• The loyalty response

• The voice response

Unproductive Communication Patterns During Conflict

• The early stages• Communication that fails to confirm individuals• Cross-complaining• Negative climate and mind reading

• The middle stages• Kitchen-sinking• Frequent interruptions

• The later stages• Counterproposals• Excessive miscommunication

Constructive Communication Patterns During Conflict

• The early stages• Communicators confirm each other by recognizing

and acknowledging each other’s concerns and feelings

• The middle stages• Stay focused on main issues (agenda building)• Bracketing• Don’t interrupt except for clarification• Recognize and acknowledge each

other’s point of view

• The later stages• Contracting

Conflict Management Skills

• Attend to the relationship level of meaning

• Communicate supportively

• Listen mindfully

• Own your feelings, thoughts, and issues

• Check perceptions

• Look for points of agreement

• Look for ways to preserve the other’s face

• Imagine how you will feel in the future

Guidelines for Effective Communication During Conflict

• Focus on the overall communication system

• Time conflict purposefully

• Aim for win-win conflict

• Honor yourself, your partner, and the relationship

• Show grace when appropriate

Seminar Questions

• What are the principles of conflict?

• What are the orientations to conflict? Which do you tend to use most often? See quiz on page 250.

Seminar Questions cont.

• Think about the ways you typically respond to conflict. Do you tend to rely on one or two of the four responses in the text? Explain. Are your response tendencies consistent with research findings in the text about women and men in general? Why or why not?

Seminar Questions cont.

• Which conflict-management skill do you consider yourself good at using and which do you need to develop more? How do you plan to develop these skills?

Conclusion

• Any more thoughts?

• Questions?

• Have a wonderful day and best of luck with the completion of the course!