Styles of CommunicationConflict with others may sometimes be out of your control. However, there are a few things you can do to minimize your chances of getting caught up in a major conflict with a co-worker, manager, partner, child, etc. One way is to understand types of communication and how your style of communication can open up (or shut down) a conversation.

Passive Style: Characteristics of this type of communication include holding things in and not speaking up as issues arise. “I am unable to stand up for myself and my rights”.

Problem: The other person doesn’t know anything is wrong or doesn’t know how important the issue is to you.

Aggressive Style: This style is characterized by being loud and demanding, possibly intimidating. “I’ll get my way no matter what”:

Problem: The other person is likely to get defensive. They may yell back or possibly shut down.

Passive-Aggressive Style: This is characterized often by sarcastic, unclear comments. “It’s hopeless to deal with you directly, so I’ll just be subtle and sarcastic”

Problem: Resentment continues and the real issue is never addressed

Assertive Style: This is the style of communication with the most positive impact. It is characterized by making clear statements of opinions and feelings while respecting the rights of the other person. It involves using “I” statements. There is no blame or accusations. Rather, feelings are expressed clearly, appropriate, and respectfully. “I am respecting my rights while respecting the rights of the other person”

Communicating assertively does not guarantee you will get your way, but it minimizes the risk of having a major conflict and increases the likelihood of having a productive conversation.