ear after year, the Centerfor Infant & Child Lossserves as a beacon of hope to

families experiencing the suddenand unexpected death of theirchild. It is an honor and aprivilege to belong to such anorganization. The rewards returned to me and theCenter staff is unimaginable. We are honored by thenumber of families that give back to the Center throughtheir volunteerism and support of newly bereavedfamilies. In addition to the Center staff, Bereaved FamilyVolunteers and Community Volunteers, we have themost amazing Corporate Sponsors you can imagine.

AT&T joined us last year and their support has beensteadfast and consistent. Not only has AT&T provedinstrumental as our AT&T SIDS Golf Invitational &Evening Reception Title Sponsor, they have supportedthe Center by having representatives serve on the CenterAdvisory Board. We are forever grateful that AT&T took achance on our Center that has transformed into awonderful partnership. GEICO has served as the EveningReception Sponsor for over 20 years. In those 20 yearsGEICO has donated over $80,000 to the Center forInfant & Child Loss. In addition, GEICO has hadrepresentatives serve on the SIDS Golf Committee eachyear they have supported the event.

Mr. Timothy Smidt and his company, TelegentEngineering, have served as Platinum Shirt Sponsor forover 10 years with a combined financial contribution of

F A L L 2 0 1 3V O L U M E 2 0 / N O . 4

Director’s Desk

Continued on Page 4

Continued on Page 6

DEPARTMENT OF PEDIATRICS

lthough the golf portion of the 23rd Annual AT&T SIDS Golf

Invitational was canceled due to rain,the purpose of coming together insupport of the Center was not in vain.An impressive $125,000 was raisedwith the help of our corporatesponsors, golfers and donors.

The day started with our usualpreparations. The golfers were greetedby our volunteers and cheered on atshot-gun as they headed to thegreens. Soon afterward, the galewinds and rain began, causingeveryone to head indoors. Despite thechange in plans, the golfers gracefullyswitched mode and headed indoors toeat lunch, play cards and mingle.Some golfers decided to leave, dry offand return for the evening reception.Our wonderful volunteers jumped

into actionmaking sure theevening receptionwent on withouta hitch.

Golfers andfriends of theCenter continuedthe festivities bygathering at ourevening reception.They enjoyed theprogram and thelive and silentauctions. The funds raised at theevent allow the Center to provide griefcounseling services, communityeducation, training, outreach andresearch to benefit Maryland families.One-third of the Center’s annualoperating budget is raised at this

event. Without it, the Center wouldnot be able to continue all of itsneeded services to bereaved families.Please save the date and join us nextyear at our 24th Annual AT&T SIDSGolf Invitational on October 6, 2014 atTurf Valley Resort in Ellicott City, MD.

Forever in Our Hearts

Y

A

Congratulations: MD Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics awardedLaToya Bates, MSSA, LCSW-C – 2013 Child Advocate of the Year

Reprinted with permission, edited to fit space

The fountain of personal wisdom may be as close as yournearest pen. That’s because keeping a personal journal can be apowerful way to ease anxiety and nurture your spirit.

The word “journal” may mean 100 different things to 100different people. For a psychologist, it denotes a tool for apatient’s self-analysis. For the writer, it may be a notebook ofideas and ramblings. For most of us, the work denotes a day-to-day diary, a log of action and reaction.

For me, a journal is a notebook of ideas andsolutions that I have discovered using myconscious and subconscious mind.

Journaling is a remarkable device foreasing worry and obsession, for identifyinghopes and fears, and for allowing yourcreative self to expand.

Journaling harnesses the power to tapinto successively deeper layers of yoursubconscious mind while it zaps thenervous, passive energy that ties yourstomach in knots and leads to moreguilt and worry.

Journals are tools to help you discover the wisdom you alreadypossess. Sometimes, this wisdom will surprise you. Othertimes, it will challenge you. Always, it will come directly fromyou, empowering you to trust yourself and to take action bygiving you the deep-seated knowledge that you know morethan you think you do.

In addition to revealing your personal insight and wisdom, thejournaling process can help dispel feelings of loneliness andconfusion by helping you discover a unity within yourself.

As your conscious and subconscious mind work together to solveproblems in black-and-white, the ideas are validated and moreeasily applied, even if you never share these ideas with a soul.

Writing for Insight

The act of writing has tremendous potential to tap thesubconscious and to arrange conscious thought in a clearpattern as words flow from your mind down your arm, intoyour hand and across the page.

But first you must banish your internal editor by:

• Writing quickly, allowing the words to freefall from yoursubconscious.

• Writing continuously. Don’t erase or cross-out words.

Date each entry in your journal. Note the time, place, and anydetails regarding your mood and emotions that will benecessary for context when you read back on your work. Afteryou’ve finished a journal entry, take a walk or get up for a glass

of water before you reread your entry, and remember to rereadyour writing with compassion.

Then, write an Insight Line – a sentence or two about what youthink the piece is trying to tell you.

Journaling Techniques

There are as many journaling techniques as there are peoplewho practice the craft.

If you are stuck and have nothing to write, tryrecording snippets of conversations, facts, feelingsfantasies, descriptions, impressions, quotes, imagesand ideas. Draw pictures. Make a collage from amagazine.

Clustering is one method that works well whenthe ideas don’t flow on their own. Put the centralidea on the center of the page and circle it. Then,without pause, make associations, placing themin new bubbles and tying them to the main idea.

The result is a complex matrix of ideas, manyof which you didn’t even know you had. If you

wish, compose these thoughts later into a cohesive essay thatsays exactly what you want to say. Or simply move on.

What you Need to Begin Journaling

• Paper. The only thing you need is a notebook, so your ideasdon’t get lost. Some journal-writers swear by the loose leafnotebooks so they can insert pages, but I’m always afraid oflosing some of the more personal pages, and I don’t wantanything to inhibit any ability to write freely and honestly.

Other journal-writers opt for the expensive, hard-boundjournals, reasoning that the journal will be a keepsake. Thesework just fine, as long as you are able to write freely in such aformal book. Some of the things you will be writing will not bepretty. If you are afraid of making mistakes or you feel inhibitedwith this kind of notebook, you’re better off with a plain oldspiral bound.

• Pen. Treat yourself to just the right pen. Test some of theexpensive pens. The best choice is one that allows you to writequickly and smoothly.

• Environment. Your journal should always be there when youneed it. Write on the bus, in the office, or late at night wheninsomnia strikes. If you have the time, a regular writing ritualcan be very soothing.

Whether you set a time for writing each day, or you do it onthe fly, make sure the time you spend writing in your journal istime solely devoted to you and your task.

About the author: Susie Michelle Cortright is an author andfounder of the award-winning Momscape.com, a website andon-line store dedicated to nurturing busy women. Visit www.momscape.com

Journaling: A Tool for the Spiritby Susie Cortright

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Outreach and Training EffortsAugust – October 2013

TRAINING Day Care Providers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 Professional Staff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Pregnant / Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .43 OUTREACH Risk reduction materials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .* 2,235 Light switch covers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **16,025 * includes Spanish materials

** includes light switch covers provided to all birth hospitals

Maryland Charities CampaignIf you are a State employee and would like tocontribute to the Center through payrolldeductions, be sure to include Book 5384, UMB Foundation, for the MCC account code.There is a listing of accounts under the Schoolof Medicine for SIDS (26309) which willdesignate your donation to the Center. Checkthe box and fill in the amount. Thank you somuch for considering the Center as therecipient of your donation.

Newly bereaved parents are walking inunfamiliar territory and may need to approachthe holidays differently in order to cope.

Because grief is an emotional issue, you might notthink to approach the holidays in the same way youwould approach other problems. Stephen R Covey,author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, lists“being proactive” as his first habit. To be proactivemeans to act in anticipation of future problems,needs, or changes. The holidays are coming and evenbefore you were a bereaved parent, they had to be‘managed.’ The problem now is that you may not feellike participating to the level you may have in thepast. A sense of dread can wash over you. However,the following tips may help minimize stress andprovide comfort:

� Attend a memorial service, where you can rememberyour child in a safe atmosphere and express yourfeelings freely, even though it might be difficult.Remember that lighting a candle can have specialsignificance and is a beautiful way to remember yourchild. Hearing your child’s name called in public letseveryone know that he or she is not forgotten, andbeing around other bereaved parents helps you toknow that you are not alone.

� Give yourself permission to say no to traditions thatyou know will cause you discomfort or that you don’tthink you can handle. Tell your friends and family inadvance what you need because communicatingexpectations is very important. Now might be a goodtime to eliminate obligations or traditions that nolonger suit your current situation. You can alwaysresume them later. (e.g., eating dinner at someoneelse’s house.)

� Do something for others, whether volunteering ormaking a donation to a special charity in memoryof your child. This could be a new tradition thatyou start to honor your child.

� If you never travel during the holiday season,consider taking a trip. Although you do take yourthoughts with you, a change of scenery could bebeneficial. Spend some time every day thinking aboutyour child. While it’s hard to come to grips with yourloss, in time the memories that you have will sustainyou and will remain forever in your heart.

� Plant a tree in memory of your child as a physicalsymbol that will continue to grow and stand as areminder of his or her life. Sometimes we need to‘see’ things to help us along our journey. You coulddecorate the tree for the seasons or sit under it on aspecial bench as a place to remember.

� Seek comfort from those who have traveled thisjourney. Hearing that others have experienced whatyou are going through can be helpful. TheCompassionate Friends tells us that you need notwalk alone. Grief can feel so isolating.

Take some time to think about the coming holidayseason and find ways to minimize the stress it mightcause. For instance, try shopping from catalogs or theInternet so you don’t have to be in the stores could behelpful. Take advantage of the people who said to letthem know how they might help you. Honor your childby remembering him or her with love.

Peace to you this season.

Handling the Holidays

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� ��

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Wally & Dixie HucknoIn loving memory ofChristopher Baczynski

Jennifer GormleyRebecca IppoldoJake Lund Sarah KraemerIn loving memory ofKaia Brown

Michael & Tracy CampbellDavid W. SweetsirIn loving memory ofDevin Michael Campbell

Rhea LucasRedsteel HVAC, Inc.In loving memory ofJordan Felch

Shirley GutberletIn Memory ofRonald Gutberlet

Davis Realty AppraisalServices Co., Inc.Greg & Sherry HitchcockRonald & Connie JohnsonWilliam & Helen LampmanBob & Eva MenclAnn PetrichenkoDouglas & Dawn RameyThomas & Paula TurnerRobert & Carolyn WestIn loving memory ofSydney Hitchcock

Joani Nelson HorchlerIn loving memory ofChristian Horchler

Dennis DavidsonDeborah JonesSMSGT Anthony RichardsonRobert S. McCormickBrenda VinsonDarwin VinsonIn loving memory ofSydney Vinson

Stephen & Ruth RothIn Memory ofMichael Waite Waller

Maria BaldwinAngela EllisIn loving memory of Allthe Children That Have Died

Donations

Center for Infant & Child Loss Memory QuiltMany of you have seen the beautiful quilts displayed atthe annual memorial services and events each year.These quilts have individual squares created by familiesof loved ones to remember their child. If you would like to add a quilt square please followthese guidelines:• Size 8x8• Material – cotton or cotton/poly blend• Design – individual taste and creativityMail to the Center for Infant & Child Loss at theaddress on this newsletter.

August – October 2013In Memory of...

Gutberlet Scholarship

The Center would like to remind interested parties that the Ronald L.Gutberlet, M.D. Parent Conference Scholarship Award providesparents/grandparents the means to attend conferences regarding SIDS and

other child deaths. Conferences are always announced on our website at:www.infantandchildloss.org and most are held annually. Examples oforganizations having annual conferences are California SIDS Program, CJ Foundation, First Candle/SIDS Alliance, and The Compassionate Friends.

For more information please contact:LaToya Bates at 410-706-5089 / 800-808-7437 or lbates@peds.umaryland.edu

Director’s Desk From Page 1

over $122,000. Telegent has also had members serve on the SIDS GolfCommittee as well as spend the day of the tournament volunteering. Theircommitment to the Center and our events is truly inspiring. George Carrolland his company CCI Graphics & Printing has been Platinum Sponsorsfor 14 years. CCI’s combined contributions total over $80,000 for the Center.George’s generosity does not stop there; he is an active member of theCenter’s Advisory Board and he is one of the first corporate sponsors for ournew fundraising initiative Dr. G’s Vegas Night. Most recently George and hiscompany have sponsored the overhaul of our Center’s Website. This$20,000 project was not in the Center’s budget so we are truly grateful forGeorge’s generosity. The new and improved CICL website is scheduled todebut in January 2014. The Corporate Sponsor that has been with the Centersince the very first SIDS Golf Tournament in 1991 is CBMC. Partners, EricFrancis & Howard Abramson have supported the Center with theirgenerous corporate sponsorship and contributions to the Live/Silentauctions totaling well over $90,000. In addition to their financial generosity,they have brought in VIP’s like Jonathan Ogden and Ken Harvey to increasevisibility for the event. We have many more Corporate Sponsors that will belisted in this Newsletter’s golf article, however I wanted to take a fewmoments to say THANK YOU to just a few of them here. In the 23 yearssince Chuck Dohrman started this Annual SIDS Golf Invitational, ourCorporate Sponsors have raised a combined total of $2.5 Million Dollarsbenefiting the Center for Infant & Child Loss and the families served bythis organization.

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Hold the DatesSaturday, December 7, 2013

Kaitlyn's 5thBirthday DinnerDance for SIDS

March 29, 2014

Sports Legends Museum301 Camden St., Baltimore, MD

For more informationcontact the Center410-706-5062

or visit our websitewww.infantandchildloss.org

Remembering Our ChildrenThe program will commemorate the lives of our children.All persons interested in preparing a reading or music forthe programs are welcome and encouraged to participate.A reception will be held following each program.

We will include the names of our children in theprogram and service, even if you cannot attend. Pleasecomplete the form below and return it to the CENTER.The programs will be held in the following areas:

Baltimore Area: Sunday, December 8, 2013Brown Memorial Church6200 N. Charles Street, Towson, Maryland – 7:00 p.m.Directions: Baltimore beltway (I-695) to Exit #25 CharlesStreet; South on Charles St. approximately 2 miles to churchon right directly across from 7-11

Prince Georges’ County: Sunday, December 8, 2013St. Philips Episcopal Church – 2:00 p.m.6th & Main Streets, Laurel, Maryland 20705

Directions: From I -95 take Exit 35A East, Scaggsville Road,toward Laurel (1.7 miles). Bear left on Main Street

Eastern ShoreTuesday, December 3, 2013 - 7:00 p.m.St. John United Methodist Church, Fruitland, MDFor information call Gail Jablonski at 410-543-7039

Refreshments will be served following each service.Please bring a ‘finger food’. Please bring a photographor other memento of your child for the memory table.Be sure to put your name on the back.

To register online visit www.infantandchildloss.org.Click on right navigation bar, scroll to bottom.

Please RSVP by December 1

Grace McComas, born on October 9, 1996 was awonderful human being who was well-loved. Shewas funny, exuberantly happy, and kind-hearted.She was tender hearted even. Too tenderhearted infact, in a world which can be cruel. We lost Grace to a bullying-related suicide on Easter Sunday April 8, 2012.

Grace was not a sullen, uncommunicative teen, weknew what was happening. We did everything thebullying experts say you should do. We got her supportand reached out for help to multiple public agencies,none of whom seemed to recognize the danger.

What we learned is that kids are digitally interconnected today, so that bullyingis truly different than ever before. No longer does something unpleasanthappen and the child is able to go home to his sanctuary. Instead, hatred andgossip is amplified and follows them there, as close as their cell phone,computer, game systems, etc. It travels at the speed of electronic media andnever goes away. There was no law that protected our daughter from death-wishing, dehumanizing ‘tweets.’ There is now.

Maryland recently passed "Grace's Law," which makes cyber bullying acrime punishable by a $500 fine, 1 year in jail or both. It goes into effect inOctober 2013.

Please be aware of the risk of cyber-bullying to our youth. Continue thediscussion and pass it on. We need awareness and national dialogue to protectour children and prevent further tragedy. For more information, check with theGrace K. McComas Memorial Webpage on Facebook:www.facebook.com/GraceMcComasMemorial

This tribute is in honor and loving memory of Grace Katherine McComas. Welove you and miss you every single day sweetheart, until we meet again in glory.No more pain. No more tears. Only peace & love.

Grace is survived by her loving parents, David & Christine as well as her 3sisters, Cara, Megan and Gloria.

Grace Katherine McComas

6-11 p.m. Legacy HallSykesville FreedomDistrict Fire Dept.6680 Sykesville Rd, Sykesville, MD

For more info or ticketsTerry or Stephanie410-988-4603

kaitlynsdance@gmail.com

No Sales at the Door

Parents’ Corner: Grace’s Law

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2013 Golfe can not thank all of our supporters,volunteers, and friends enough for collectively

helping to make this day triumphant. Your supportand efforts are truly appreciated. The successfuloutcome of this event is attributed to you, and thereason the Center is able to continuously serveMaryland families and communities.

W

Chuck DohrmanTournament Founder

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2013 Golf

8

2013 Golf

Special Thank You to the 2013 Golf Invitational Committee

his eventwould not be

possible withoutthe tirelessdedicationof our AMAZING2013 GolfCommittee. TheCenter is sincerely grateful for all that you do. We THANK YOU for serving on this year’scommittee and helping to make our 23rd GolfInvitational a success!

Corporate Liaison: Lauri Moore (AT&T)

Chairperson: Terry McClung

Title Sponsor: Rob Forsyth, Vice President & General ManagerAT&T Washington/Baltimore

Chair Emeriti: Chuck Dohrman, Brian Felch,Rhea Lucas, Liz & Bill Waller

Committee Members:William Connor, Anne Cooke, Scott Fava, John Happel,Bill Jones, Howard Lane, Andy LaPointe, Jason Los, LuisMaldonado, Ellen Motley, Katherine O’Hara, Steve Snider,Carolyn Thompson, Darwin Vincent, Phyllis West

T

LaToya Bates, Rob Forsyth, andTerry McClung

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2013 Golf

Thank you to this year’s phenomenal team of volunteers:Rodney Black • Jasmine Briscoe • Jesire Brooks • Heather Calton • Cindy Carrico • Will Cocks • Al Cooke

Anne Cooke • Moneka Cunningham • Megan Davis • Mable Dixon • Chuck Dohrman • Grace-Anne DohrmanTerre Dohrman • Howard Dunstan • Michelle Ennis • Scott Fava • Brian Felch • Cassie Felch • Bob Frazier

Devon Furnari • John Happel • Velma Kiawu • Xina Kojzar • Howard Lane • Sonya LaneAndy LaPointe • Drew LaPointe • Linda LaPointe • Tonya Logan • Carrie Madgar

Stephanie McClung • Terry McClung • Roberta Meredith • Russ MeredithRegina Minor • Lauri Moore • Ellen Motley • Stephanie Newing • Kitty O'Hara • Stacey Ross

Jamie Stefanowicz • Carolyn Thompson • Kimberly Vinson • Liz Waller • Phyllis West

VolunteersThe Center and Golf Committee thank all of thevolunteers who came to assist this year. Your presenceis invaluable. We would also like to thank our volunteercoordinators Anne Cooke and Camilla Hyman forcoordinating the volunteers, enabling the day to floweffortlessly.

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Evening ReceptionSponsored Evening Reception

Thank you to our Evening Reception Sponsor,GEICO, for your continuous valued support.The Evening Reception is the finale of the day

and because of you we ended with a bang, and agood time was had by all. Due to the inclementweather and schedule changes, we would like togive a special thanks to Mindy Basara - WBALChannel 11 News, our Master of Ceremonies,Jonathan Melnick, our live auctioneer, and theGutberlet Family for adjusting their schedules tocome out earlier than expected for the evening festivities. We would also like to thank our lovely Honorary Chair, America’s Miss Maryland 2013, Jennifer Myers. Thank you, Telegent Engineering, Inc., ourTitanium Shirt Sponsor! Because of you, our golfers and volunteers were able to take home a nice mementofrom the day.

Mindy BasasraWBAL Channel 11

Jonathan MelnickMelnick Auctioneers

Jennifer MyersAmerica’s

Miss Maryland 2013

The 2013 GolfCommittee and Centerstaff are thankful for thetremendous supportfrom all of our corporatesponsors. Your loyaltyenables us to helpfamilies in their time ofneed. THANK YOU!

Corporate Sponsors 2013TITANIUM

Telegent Engineering Inc.PLATINUM

CCI Printing & Graphic SolutionsNexius

Radio OneNetwork Building & Consulting

System IntegratorsGOLD

Allegheny Industries, Inc.American Tower Corporation

BechtelBlack & Veatch

Centerline CommunicationsCommunication Elecronics

Force 3

GOLDSCE

SmartlinkTranscend Wireless

University of Maryland Dept. ofPediatricsVelocitelSILVER

Airosmith DevelopmentFAIRWAY RECOGNITION

AarcherBechtel

Praxis EngineeringTeam SydneyZTEUSA, Inc.

BEVERAGE CARTAsurion

Primary Residential MortgageBRONZECMBC

House of PrintingMid Atlantic Contracting

FRIENDS OF THE CENTERAmtrak

Capital One BankCentric Business Systems

D&H BuildersLG

SamsungSDP Consultants, Inc.

Worldwide Communication

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Evening Receptione were unable to give awards to foursomesthis year due to the weather, but we have

putting contest winners to report.Congratulations to Dean Johnson for winningthe putting contest, and honorary mention goesto Chuck Dohrman for getting the “not-so-low”putting prize.

We would also like to recognize therecipients of the Governors Award forVolunteerism: Rob Forsyth, CarolynMitchell, Lauri Moore, and CarolynThompson. Thank you all for supportingthe Center and our Golf Invitational in somany ways!

W

RETURNSERVICEREQUESTED

Center for Infant & Child Loss Staff :LaToya Bates, MSSA, LCSW-C, Program DirectorJean Edwards, Program CoordinatorPier Butler, Events CoordinatorAffiliation Statement: The CENTER FOR INFANT & CHILD LOSSis within the Division of Neonatology, Department ofPediatrics, University of Maryland School of Medicine.The CENTER works closely with the Maryland State Office of the Chief Medical Examiner and local healthdepartments.

Funding Statement: The Maryland State Department ofHealth and Mental Hygiene, Center for Maternal and Child Health provides grant funds for a portion of theCenter’s services.

410/706-5062 or 800/808-7437Visit our web site: www.infantandchildloss.orgfacebook.com/CenterforInfantandChildLoss

The Center’s goal is to assist families as they learn to livewith the loss of their child and to have hope for the future.Our programs reach out to bereaved families and the

community. Center programs foster hope by offering publiceducation, health care provider training, and instruction foremergency responders and others who may provide support.Each of our four programs is designed to meet individual,family, and community needs. For those families who doexperience the sudden death of an infant or child, the Centermakes immediate contact to give them available informationabout the cause of death and support in their grief.

CICL Advisory Board MembersBrian Felch, Advisory Board Chairman, Parent, Angela Burden,MA, RN, HealthCare Access Maryland, Ami & Bruce Brown,Parents, George Carroll, CCI Printing & Graphic Solutions, AnneCooke, Parent, Chuck Dohrman, Parent, Dr. Colleen Driscol,Div. of Neonatology, Dr. Alison Falck, Div. of Neonatology, DavidFowler, M.D., Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, SherryGoldman, M.D., Parent, Shirley Gutberlet, Michelle Gutberlet,Yaneri Hodgson, LSWA,HealthCare Access Maryland, Ling Li,M.D., Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, Tonya Logan, Parent,Terry & Stephanie McClung, Parents, Jonathan Melnick, MelnickAuctioneers, Sandra Mooney, Div. of Neonatology, Lauri Moore,AT&T, Robert & Rosemarie Palmer, Parents, Carolyn Thompson,AT&T, Dr. David Woo, Div. of Neonatology

Non-ProfitU.S. Postage

PaidPermit #1608Baltimore, MD

In partnership with

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Center for Infant & Child Loss737 W. Lombard St., Rm 233, Baltimore, MD 21201

www.infantandchildloss.org

InsightsInsightsInsights