Unity through RelationshipDublin, Ireland November 14, 2017

RECLAIMING

Youth at RiskReclaimingYouthAtRisk.org

The Resilience Compass

Larry K. Brendtro, PhD

Unity through RelationshipThe Resilience Compass

Larry K. Brendtro, PhD

Digital copies of this presentation are

available to download for 30 days at:

ReclaimingYouthAtRisk.org/handouts

© 2017 The Resilience Academy

This on-line journal

is available free from

GrowingEdgeTraining.com

July 2018

Children’s growth needs are universal across all cultures.

Martin Brokenleg

Circle of Courage Values

Belonging

Mastery

Independence

Generosity

AltruismAutonomy

Achievement Attachment

Biosocial Needs

Julien Li & Megan Julian

University of Pittsburgh

Developmental

Relationships

The Active Ingredientin all successful outcomes in

family, school, community, or

treatment environments.

Active Ingredient: Flouride

1. A strong, caring bond

2. Increasingly complex tasks

3. Shift power to the learner

4. A relationship of reciprocity

Meeting developmental

needs is essential for

optimal growth.

Urie Bronfenbrenner1979

Attachment

Achievement

Autonomy

Altruism

Hierarchy of Human NeedsMaslow, 1943

Belongingness EsteemSelf-

ActualizationSelf-

Transcendence

Biosocial

Growth NeedsAttachment Achievement Autonomy Altruism

Foundations of Self Worth Coopersmith, 1967

Significance Competence Power Virtue

Circle of CourageCultural ValuesBrokenleg, 1990

Belonging Mastery Independence Generosity

Resilience ResearchBenard, 2004

Social Competence

Problem Solving Autonomy Purpose

Resilient BrainModulesMasten, 2014

AttachmentMastery

MotivationSelf-Efficacy

Spirituality & Purpose

Anchor ProjectResilience WheelMay, 2017

Belonging Achieving Empowerment Purpose

Developmental RelationshipsBronfenbrenner, 1979

Emotional Attachment

Increasingly Complex Tasks

Shift Power toThe Learner

Reciprocity of Relationships

Biosocial Drives

are linked to

Survival Drives

Avoidance prevent pain

HANDBOOK OF

APPROACH AND

AVOIDANCE MOTIVATION

Approach seek pleasure

Cultures of Dominance

PunishReward

Cultures of Respect

Safety Adventure

Attachment

Achievement

Autonomy

Altruism

Social Brain

Belonging

Mastery

Power

Generosity

Brain-Based Drives Developmental Needs

Avoidance

Approach

Safety

Adventure

Survival Brain

Adventure

Safety

GenerosityPower

BelongingMastery

Safety Belonging

Mastery

Power

Generosity

The Resilience Compass

Connecting with Courage New Zealand

Re-sil-i-encefrom Latin resilire, “to leap back.”

Resilience means bouncing back from difficult life experiences.

Resilience

T F Resilient children have rare traits of invulnerability.

Risk and Resilience are Human Universals

The world breaks everyone and, afterward,

many are strong at the broken places.

Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

Kauai Resilience Study

With positive connections,

a majority of persons will be

able to surmount almost

any risk condition.

Emmy Werner

Roots of Resiliency

Children who showed

resilience were loved

regardless of behavior,

intelligence, or physical

attractiveness.

Children who often got

positive responses from

others were stress-resistant.

Children who often got

negative responses from

others were vulnerable.

Ordinary Magic

Resilience is not Rare

but the ordinary magic

of the adaptive minds,

brains, and bodies of

children in families,

relationships, and

communities.

Ann MastenUniversity of Minnesota

Designer Genes:

Our amazing

resilience program

Expected Exper i enceNormal Deve l o pmen t

Adverse Exper i ence

Disrupted Deve l o pmen t

Bra i n Plas t i c i ty

Res i l i e n t Devel opmen t

NORMAL GENE EXPRESSION

The brain is primed for development

with programs that use expected

experiences to build neural pathways

necessary for maturation and growth.

In an average predictable environment,

children naturally acquire language and

motor behavior and develop belonging,

mastery, power, and generosity.

DISRUPTED GENE EXPRESSION

Excess stress,

neglect, trauma,

chemicals, drugs,

toxic ecology,

prenatal factors

health,

behavior,

emotions,

cognition.

impair

RESILIENT GENE EXPRESSION

Belonging ~ bond to adults and peers

Mastery ~ learn problem-solving skills

Power ~ control of one’s destiny Generosity ~ empathy and caring

Glance at Problems, Gaze at Strengths

JC Chambers

Working on strengths enhances personal growth

more than seeking to correct one’s deficiencies.

(Meyers et al., 2015)

Developing Strengths Versus Fixing Flaws

Illustration by Scott Menchin

Five Decades of ResearchResilience rests fundamentally on relationships. Suniya Luthar

Focus on Needs

Abraham Maslow

Maladjustment:Most emotional and

behavioral problems

come from unmet

developmental needs.

Prevention:Children thrive

when essential

developmental

needs are met.

Healing:Positive growth

comes as we

nurture unmet

growth needs.

Symptoms of mental

trouble mean come from

disturbed social rapport.

Ian Suttie

Most “mental symptoms …

are incontestably laid

down by the child’s

experience and not by any

infection or other cause

particularly affecting the

health of his brain.“

Ian Suttie

(Suttie, 1935, p. 177)

Learning Lag versus Brain Disease

Emmy

Werner

Safety Belonging

Mastery

Power

Generosity

Developmental Needs

Connecting with Courage New Zealand

SAFETY

AMYGDALA

The amygdala spots unexpected events that might pose danger or opportunity.

Threatened and helpless

- Bessel van der Kolk

Fear, terror, helplessness

- Bruce Perry

Trauma Reactions

Adverse Childhood Experiences

Household Stress1. Divorce or separation

2. Substance abuse

3. Domestic violence

4. Criminal behavior

5. Mental illness

Abuse and Neglect6. Psychological abuse

7. Physical Abuse

8. Sexual Abuse

9. Physical Neglect

10.Emotional Neglect

Kaiser Permanente and

Center for Disease Control

Felt safety which has to be determined

by each individual, includes emotional,

physical, and relational security.

Karyn Purvis

A Maori nursing student in

New Zealand was listening

to lectures on clinical,

ethical, and legal safety.

Although shy, she rose to

her feet and asked: “What

about cultural safety?”

Building Rapid Trust

The brain makes instant decisions about who to trust—even with those we have just met. This is the “preamble to a social bond.”

Steven Porges

Touch and Safety

Touch, the most

elementary tool we

have to calm down,

is proscribed from

most therapeutic

practices.

Bessel van der Kolk

Being able to feel safe with

other people is probably the

single most important aspect

of mental health;

safe connections are

fundamental to meaningful

and satisfying lives.

Bessel van der Kolk

BELONGING

Every child needs at

least one adult who is

irrationally crazy about

him or her.

Urie Bronfenbrenner

OXYTOCIN tames aggression

and fear. Females have more

oxytocin for use in nurturing.

VASOPRESSIN can enhance

aggression. Males have more

vasopressin for protecting.

Humans have two chemicals for bonding

Trust and

Bonding

Oxytocin

Moments

EROS

AGAPEPHILIA

Our Culture Fears Closeness

IAN D. SUTTIE

FOREWORD BY JOHN BOWLBY

“Looked-after Children”Rethinking Residential Child Care, Mark Smith

“The Taboo on Tenderness”Origins of Love and Hate, Ian Suttie

Bids to Connect

EXCLUSION

triggers

SHAME

BELONGING

triggers

PRIDE

Can I trust you? Do you like me?

MASTERY

All children have an inborn drive to

learn and master.

The brain grows

when challenged.

Mastering difficulty

builds intelligence.

Carol Dweck (2006)

Egoistic Motivation

Looking Good Task Motivation

Learning Lots

Growth or Fixed Mindsets

Carol Dweck

I can make myself smart..

I just wasn’t born smart.

Creativity

The mind of the child is

like a volcano with two

spouts – destructiveness

and creativeness.

Sylvia Ashton Warner1908-1984

Schools That Matter shift the focus from test data

to whether the needs of students are being met.

Steve Van Bockern

EMPOWERMENT

Self-regulation involves the ability to “postpone the obtaining

of pleasure, to put up with a little unpleasure, and to abandon

certain sources of pleasure altogether.”

Sigmund Freud, 1920 Photo, Mischel’s Marshmallow study.

Self-Efficacy

The belief in one’s

power to cope with

challenges.

(Albert Bandura, 1997)

Persistence and Gritwere assets that enabled

youth with serious behavior

problems in childhood to

have resilient outcomes.

Emmy Werner & Ruth SmithKauai’s Children Come of Age

If we take a million years ago as the beginning of human history,

then for 99% of that history, we were all hunter gatherers.

Peter Gray

In all primates but humans,

a few dominate the many.

But egalitarianism has

insured human survival.

No longer nomadic, people could accumulate possessions.

Traditions for sharing of resources were disrupted by greed.

Alpha males with wealth and weapons grabbed power.

Slavery, abuse, and conquest became commonplace.

Agriculture Spawned Hierarchical Cultures

Egocentrism. Persons in power feel they deserve

their privileged status over “inferior” others.

Disrespect. Power makes persons less polite and

more rude to those less powerful.

Impulsivity. Power is a dopamine high that pumps

pleasure seeking behavior.

Empathy deficits. Power activates brainstem

dominance programs that stifle empathy.

Dacher Keltner

Power tends to corrupt,

and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Lord Acton

Overcoming Abuses of Power

Meet the needs of others

Practice generosity

Empower others

Show respect

Dacher Keltner

GENEROSITY

Survival of the Fittest Most Generous

Our common human history shaped the evolution of our

social brains and cultural values.

Altruism and

Empathy are

Evolved, Inborn

Universal Needs

(Warneken & Tomasello, 2006)

Generosity

Children are born with a

generous disposition.

The need to give is just

as vital as the need to

receive. If a child senses

that his or her gifts are

being rejected, the child

feels bad and unlovable.

Ian Suttie 1935

Although generosity is the centerpiece of all faith traditions and indigenous cultures, Western psychology presumed humans were by nature selfish.

Behaviorism described generous acts as seeking reinforcement.

Psychoanalysis proposed that generosity was motivated by guilt.

Humanistic psychology enshrined self-actualization at the peak. Michael Wallach & Lisa Wallach

Kids in crisis ponder

spiritual questions. Scott Larson

Only 20 percent of

modern teens have

a sense of purpose

in their lives.

Research on compassion in small children.

True or False?

Helping, sharing,

and consoling in

third grade …

Predicts achieving

in eighth grade

(Caprara, Barbaranelli,

Pastorelli, Bandura, & Zimbardo,

2000)

Being Mean

is Not in Genes

Both identical twins

and fraternal twins

are similar in showing

compassion or

disregard to a person

showing distress.

(Rhee et al., 2013)

Helping gives

proof of one’s

worth – being of

value to others.

ADVENTURE

The Quest for Adventure

fulfills needs of youth for

companionship and pleasure.

Jane Addams, 1909

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times;

it was the age of wisdom,

it was the age of foolishness.

Charles Dickens, 1859

Foolishness

The emotional brain of

teens surges in seeking

pleasure and peer

relationships.

Wisdom

The executive brain’s

capacity for self-control

and thinking ahead will

mature years later.

PLAY is a Primary EmotionJaak Panksepp

Children should experience joy each day. Anton Makarenko

They also should help their parents experience joy.

Adults Shape Youth Cultures

1. Team cohesion

2. Team involvement

3. Belief in program

4. Optimism about youthTeamwork

GenerosityPower

Mastery Belonging

Adventure

Safety

Adults also

share these

same needs.

The Road to

Resilience

1. Safety—Ensure protection

from emotional, physical, and

cultural harm.

2. Belonging—All members of

the community are valued and

develop positive relationships.

3. Mastery—Every person

possesses strengths and

talents to be nurtured.

4. Power—Exercise self

control and respect for the

dignity of others.

5. Generosity—Showing

empathy and concern for

others gives purpose to life.

6. Adventure—The courage

to overcome fear enables

people to grow and flourish.

Unity through RelationshipThe Resilience Compass

Larry K. Brendtro, PhD

Digital copies of this presentation are

available to download for 30 days at:

ReclaimingYouthAtRisk.org/handouts

© 2017 The Resilience Academy