Understanding Communications in

One-to-One Relationship

Bianto WindriyoDimas Aditya

Marko RasuandiMayang D. A. Y.

Background

• Most of people who work in organizations are in relationship with a wide range of people.

• Problems of communication:– Political in-fighting and power struggles– Personality conflicts– Conflicting goals

“Effective” Communication vs “Good” Communication• Effective Communication:

– It’s a suitable concern for people in management who are constantly trying to use communication to obtain specific results

• Good Communication:– Is prerequisite but does not insure effective

communication.

Example of a situation in which occurred failure in communication

• Tom, Steve, and an Opportunityo Steve Watson, regional sales manager was

recommended by Tom Ellery, vice president of sales to take over the marketing services department.

o Tom recommended Steve for several reasons:-Steve’s experience as sales manager would give idea

of what kind support that marketing services need.-Steve’s transfer could correct the ‘image problem’.

Marketing department considered as a place for ineffective people in product management or in field sales.

Example of a situation in which occurred failure in communication (cont.) Steve’s response:

• Steve both uninterested in the transfer and a little curt as well

• Steve assumed that he didn’t have background to do the job, and he still had a lot to do in sales region

Tom’s response: • Tom felt annoyed by Steve's response and questioning his

original judgments about Steve's flexibility and adaptability Result:

• Steve resigned to take position with competitor• Tom later found out that Steve had left because he had

concluded that his career with the company was finished when Tom offered him the marketing services job

Understanding the misunderstanding• Framework that describes different

experience of two misunderstood people.– Assumptions: Values, beliefs about things

“ought” to be in given situation.– Perceptions: What actually seen, heard in

given situation (contrast with the assumption)

– Feelings: Emotive response in reaction to a given situation.

Understanding the misunderstanding (cont.)

• Assumption, perception, and feelings often interrelated.

Negative feelings

Anger, anxiety, fear

Inconsistent perception of situation about how things

should be

Positive feelings

Satisfaction and self

confirmation

Perception of situation based on past experience

What Tom and Steve assumed, perceived & felt

• Tom initial assumption:– Promote Steve based on his outstanding performance– Assumed Steve will be pleased & interestedPerceived:– Negative reaction (contrast with assumption)Felt:– Annoyed and questioned Steve’s flexibility

• Steve initial assumption:– Good sales manager did not transferred out of sales division (based

on observation).– Steve is a good managerPerceived:– Tom offering for position transfer as sign of dissatisfactionFelt:– Negative feelings of surprise, anxiety, threat and resign to other

competitor

Facilitating Understanding

• Having had a glimpse of how each of the people experienced the situation – The Purpose : Easier to understand the misunderstanding

• Information is an important thing to understanding more deeply about other people.

What do you do, if there’s a possibility that could prevent you from hearing other person’s views

– Increasing your awareness to other person’s :• Assumptions• Perceptions• Feeling • Try to imagine the reality• Recognizing your point of view

Assumption• Misunderstanding stemmed from the

different sets of assumption. • Assumption will impede the understanding

because we never know another person’s experiencing.

• But an Assumption is a process of communication.

Examples of assumptions • Below is the process of assumptions in the

daily communication :– Other person perceived situation.– Other person making same inferences we are.– What is taking place should be logical – The other person ought to experiencethe same

feeling.– The communication in a given situation has no

relation to other event. – The person’s understanding are based on logic

not feelings.

Tendency of evaluate and judge • Judgment on what we think based on our

assumptions.• Carl Rodgers ( Psychologist) Said that the

Major barriers to interpersonal Communication are: – Natural tendency to judge with other person

saying – To evaluate– To approve or disapprove

• We approve the perception of other person behavior fit with our perception.

Solution to minimize judgment • Trying to hear other person’s concerns in

order to improving communications.• Trying to hear it doesn’t mean that your view

is agree, but at least hold the judgment in order to understand other person’s view.

Anticipate the problems of communications• There are three things are necessary to

anticipate and deal with the problems of communication, follow as : – Awareness of other persons experience– Conceptual understanding – Examine and act upon what is taking place in

the communication process.

Tagiuri suggestion

• Tagiuri suggest the following strategies to prevent communication problems :– Suspend judgment of right versus wrong. – Attempt to see the situation.– Define terms and check the meanings with other

persons.– Deal with facts.– Reopen communication. – Restate issues.– Stimulate feedback.

Thank you for your attention,,,