transitionsMessage from MischelleHello, and welcome to the winter edition of Transitions.

The holiday season is upon us! It’s a time when, despite our best intentions, we often overindulge, overcommit, and, as a result, become overtaxed. Let’s face it; the holidays can be a difficult time of the year for many.

But for those who are grieving a loved one, it can be especially challenging. Memories of past celebrations with family and friends who are no longer here can magnify feelings of loss. It can be helpful to accept offers of help and to let people know what is difficult for you.

Our bereavement and spiritual health team, along with dozens of volunteers are offering opportunities to share your concerns, feelings and apprehensions with others, to make connections, and to honour the lives of your loved ones.

New this year, Sharing of the Lights offers a candlelit afternoon of reflection and remembrance at Finnerty Gardens on November 26th. Beginning December 1st, the long-running annual Celebrate a Life invites you to hang a personalized tribute card in memory of a loved one at Hillside Centre. You can also make your tribute on our virtual Celebrate a Life tree online any time.

At Victoria Hospice, we are committed to the best possible patient care and bereavement services for family members and friends after a death. Each year we receive hundreds of hand-written letters that speak to the impact of our care, letters from people like Bonnie, who shares her thoughts in this issue of Transitions. As she puts it: “I would not be as confident and emotionally healthy as I am now had I not accepted Hospice’s support.”

With that, I’ll leave you with my wish for this holiday season, indeed for the whole year round: May we offer—and accept—help, may we be well, and may we live as fully as possible.

Sincerely,

Mischelle vanThiel CEO, Victoria Hospice

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PS: Did you know that at-home patients have access to nursing care and advice by phone 24-hours a day thanks to your support?

Rudi Hoenson, a long time Victoria Hospice supporter, hanging his tribute to wife Sylvia on the 2016 Celebrate a Life tree

Sharing of the Lights

Remembering John Tomczak

The holiday season can be a difficult time of year when we are dealing with grief. It can

be challenging to participate in the festivities happening all around us without feeling the natural sadness that comes with loss.

Sharing of the Lights offers a unique opportunity to come together and pay our respects to those we have loved and lost. We will share candlelight and company, and transform the grief and loneliness that can arise at this time of year into companionship and community. We will honour the lives that were shared with us and perhaps, through this time together, we might even lighten our hearts.

To all of you who have offered so much of your lives and hearts to those who have died, please join us for an afternoon of reflection and remembrance.

When: Sunday, November 26th, 4:30 to 5:30 pm Where: Finnerty Gardens, University of Victoria Parking: In Lot #6

John Tomczak’s involvement with Victoria Hospice began in 1987 when he lost Colette, his wife of 45 years. With

the support of Hospice, Colette died peacefully at home in her husband’s arms and surrounded by family.

For almost 30 years following Colette’s death, the exemplary care she received drove John to support Victoria Hospice. John’s work was prolific. He founded a Saturday Social

Drop-in group, spoke at conferences, and advised other organizations on creating successful walking programs. He built a website to connect bereaved people, and he authored Shared Knowledge, a book on bereavement that

encourages people to share their own stories of loss as a path toward healing.

Until 2015, John was the heart of Celebrate a Life, an annual event that creates a safe space for people dealing with grief, where they can celebrate and remember their loved ones during the holiday season.

John was driven by the vision that “everyone who wishes it is given the gift of a pain-free, dignified death in the care of a hospice.” John died in Hospice just six days short of his 99th birthday, leaving behind his devoted wife Claire, five children, eight grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.

We take this moment to remember John, and we encourage you to join Victoria Hospice in the tradition of Celebrate a Life. Create your own tribute in memory of a loved one, like John, at www.celebratealifevictoria.ca

John (featured at age 92) was warm and compassionate, with a sensitive listening ear and an impish sense of humour. He welcomed a great many people into his life and heart, and we will all miss him dearly.

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A few years ago, we received this beautiful letter from Bonnie Anderson-Stuart, who found

strength from the grief support services made possible by generous donors like you.

She has graciously allowed us to share her emotional and uplifting journey of love and loss.

March 2014

Dear Victoria Hospice,

Your Celebrate a Life tree meant the world to me. But until last year, I had not known of its existence. What

a wonderful idea to set it up and encourage the public to fill the branches with tributes.

Jim, my husband of almost 30 years, died in January of 2012. He had myotonic muscular dystrophy and

when he suffered a mild stroke the November before, there was no chance of recovery.

So, on the Hospice Celebrate a Life tree I placed my tribute for Jim and other loved ones who have passed.

But more than the patient care and the memorial tree, I want to tell you how Hospice saved me. A year after

Jim’s death, I was losing weight and found myself anxious all the time. My doctor told me he found

nothing physically wrong with me and asked if I had had any grief counselling. I hadn’t. I had

thought I was handling Jim’s death well. After all, he had been declining for years with the disease

and I’d grieved during those years for the beautiful man I was losing.

My doctor was firm that I should register with Hospice and make an appointment with a

counsellor.

I agreed, but really didn’t expect to get anything out of the meeting. I was surprised that I did.

During these sessions, it was emphasized that coming back from the death of a loved one

takes a long time. That grief wasn’t linear. And there was no formula for me to fall back on.

I was also referred to a bereavement group. Again, I couldn’t see any benefit. Again, I was wrong.

The last thing in the world I wanted to do was attend a meeting of grieving folks all of whom

were rehashing their grief. But what I found was that in the privacy of that group, I was just

me. If I only wanted to sit and listen, I could. If I wanted to say something, such as how I was

feeling or how my week had gone or what my experience of losing Jim was like, I could.

Nothing was censored, nothing was criticized, nothing was belittled, nothing was discounted.

Everyone was safe with their feelings. The world that wanted us to get on with it wasn’t invited,

and for an hour and a half we could forget we had to function in that world. It was liberating.

And our feelings, no matter what they were, were validated. That was huge! And, because we

shared, we recognized similar issues and appreciated different issues. And whatever was shared

inside the room stayed inside the room. When we left, we put our masks back on.

Having the privilege of Victoria Hospice bereavement services changed my life. I had no

idea, back at this time last year, that I even needed help, but through your counselling you

helped me morph into this new me. And through your Celebrate a Life tree, I can honour

Jim’s memory each year. I don’t doubt for a second that I would not be as confident and

emotionally healthy as I am now had I not accepted Hospice’s support. Thank you,

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“Jim had always wanted to take me to Hawaii. We had always said, ‘someday.’ Suddenly we were running out of ‘somedays’. It was September 2010, sixteen months before his death. It didn’t matter that we couldn’t afford to go – we went. It was a twelve-day cruise and it was wonderful! I have no regrets.”

Celebratea Life

CelebrateALifeVictoria.ca

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Celebrate a Life

The holiday season is a time for sharing memories and remembering family

and friends.

Victoria Hospice invites you to Celebrate a Life by creating a personalized tribute ornament in memory of a loved one.

Cut out the ornament at right, fill out the ‘In Memory’ information on the other side of the ornament, and bring it to one of our Celebrate a Life tree locations:

• Hillside Centre, from December 1–12 Hospice volunteers will be on hand to assist you with this holiday tradition.

• Festival of Trees at The Bay Centre, from November 15 to January 3

Alternatively, you can go online and create your own virtual Celebrate a Life tree tribute at

www.celebratealifevictoria.ca

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Your Donation Makes a DifferenceYES! I would like to help Victoria Hospice with a gift

Donation preference: ¨ 1-time ¨ Monthly / My donation: ¨ $25 ¨ $50 ¨ $100 ¨ $250 ¨ $500 ¨ Other . . . . . . . . . . .

Name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

City/Province . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Postal Code . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Phone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Credit card type: ¨ VISA ¨ MasterCard ¨ AmEx

Card # . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Expiry date: __ __ / __ __

My donation is in memory of . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Please send an acknowledgement letter to

Name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

City/Province . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Postal Code . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

¨ I would like to receive Victoria Hospice e-newsletters.¨ I wish to remain anonymous.¨ I have included Victoria Hospice in my Will.¨ I am interested in finding out more about including Victoria Hospice in my Will. Thank you!

In memory of

From

My message

The Gift of Giving Back

Making an in-memory donation in lieu of giving a present can be a profoundly

meaningful gesture during the holiday season.

Cathy knows this well. When her mother-in-law Sam’s brother passed away in hospice care in 2011, Sam made a request. Instead of spending money on unnecessary presents, she asked the family to make gifts to the organization that provided such wonderful end-of-life care for her brother. Each Christmas since, Cathy has made an in-memory donation to Victoria Hospice. This year, her holiday gift to Sam will honour two of her loved ones – her brother and husband who recently passed away in Hospice care.

This holiday, make a gift that truly counts for those at the end of life.

Every gift like yours and Cathy’s makes a difference! For example:

$25 can pay for

medications that help nurses control at-home patients’

pain and symptoms

$50can create

helpful resources for families who need

support to provide care for their loved one

$100can fund the Palliative

Response Team vehicle for up to 20 home visits

assisting patients with severe pain in

the middle of the night

$500can improve care

for hundreds of patients by funding training

programs for Victoria Hospice nurses

$1,000can bring comfort

to up to 500 patients by funding special

quality of life programs on Victoria Hospice’s

inpatient unit

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Victoria Hospice Match 2017

Victoria Hospice has been presented with a very special opportunity: a group of local philanthropists have offered to match

all donations made between now and December 31, 2017 dollar-for-dollar, up to a maximum of $100,000.

For every $1 you give, Victoria Hospice will get $2!

And, if you choose to make your donation via pre-authorized monthly gifts, Victoria Hospice will receive an additional $500 for patient and family care programs.

¨ I would like to make a single gift ¨ I would like to make a monthly gift

Or visit www.victoriahospice.org/match-2017 to make your gift online

A tax receipt will be issued for your donation.

Please use the reverse side of this form to fill in your donation and personal information.

Your Donation

+

The Match

=Hospice receives

Victoria Hospice Society Board of DirectorsMarguerite Rowe

presidentRob Gareau past

past presidentDeedrie Ballard

vice presidentClark Lawrence

treasurerBrenda Canitz

Dr. Eric Charman C.M., O.B.C., L.L.D.

Steve ClarkTerry FarmerEileen HarperZahra Rayani-

KanjiTim Schober

Victoria Hospice and Paliative Care Foundation Board of DirectorsDeedrie BallardRob GareauClark Lawrence

Marguerite RoweColin Weavers

Victoria Hospice VisionQuality end-of-life care for all

Victoria Hospice MissionTo enhance the quality of life for those facing advancing illness, death and bereavement through skilled and compassionate care, education, research and advocacy

Would you like to share your Hospice story?

We would love to hear from you.

Contact Tamara Dean, Donor Relations Officer

at 250-519-1744 or Tamara.Dean@VictoriaHospice.org.

Thank you.

1952 Bay Street, Victoria BC V8R 1J8 250-519-1744

info@VictoriaHospice.org

www.VictoriaHospice.org

Charitable Registration Number

11928 4230 RR0001

Victoria Hospice respects your privacy, and we do not sell, trade, lend or rent

any of your personal information.

transitionsT H E N E W S L E T T E R O F

IN MEMORY Renee Abrioux · Ernest E. Ackroyd · Felicity Adamthwaite · Blanche L. Anderson · Ruth Anderson · Juliet Anne · Kate Babry · Phyllis R. Baillie · Eleanor E. Barron · Godofredo Bartulabac · Alan Bascombe · Mary Bascombe · Mailis Beazley · Ann Blenkinsop · Thomas G. Blyth

· Doreen Borden · Darren Bos · Lois Bouchard · Marie Boudreau · Renwick D. Bradley · Barbara Brady · Hazel Brooks · Margaret Brown · Arthur R. Bryant · Lori E. Burley · Darren Butler · E. L. Butler

· David Butterfield · Sandra Callaghan · Margaret E. Campbell · John Carmichael · Connie Carra · Faye V. Carson · Mandy Cheung · Gang W. Chow · Tony Chu H. Chow · George Cook · Marion R. Cosby · Gerri Cosgrove · Bill Crawford · John M. Davidson · Ronald H. Davies · George Demers · Marie L. Duff

· Richard H. Duke · Roger C. Dunne · Arnie Dyck · Shelley Eaves · Roger Edgeby · John C. Fawcett · Elizabeth Fenton · Eddie Flack · Janet Fox · Barbara Francis · Larry Friedlander · Paul S. Gateley · Doris Gaudet · Belinda Geraghty · Neville Gibson · Jean Gordon · Joan Gordon · Heinrich Graf · M. Gropp

· Douglas Grove · Randy Gynn · Jennie D. Harlan · David Harper · Gloria Harris · Takeo Hirose · Ralf Hoitz · John Holtum · Fran Horne · Josephine Horniak · Lesley Hulme · Kim Hgoc Huynh · Ruth E. Jones · Shelley Jordens · Katharina Josephy · Marcel Jutras · Lynn Kelly · Robert Kelly · Peter Kerr · John B. Knight · Kenneth C. Lawrence · Edith

Leonard · William Leonard · Bill Lester · John D. Lineham · Sarah Loewen · Marlene Lorenz · Hank Louwerse · Sarah Lovelace · Patricia Lovewell · Mike Macfarlane · Carole MacIntosh · Carol MacRae · Colin L. Mantell · Evelyn Martin · Bert McAdam · Russell McDowell · George Merner · Alexander Mitchell · Micheline Mitchell · June Mjolsness · Ian S. Munday · Edna M. Neal · Maria Nikelski · James Noone · Chris Notar · Donna Nowle · Mildred Ostroff · Linda Pabsdorf · Rod Parkhurst · Evalyn Partridge · Harvey Pearce · Albert E. Peeling · Ralph Pengelly · Peggy Peressini · Marian Piercy · Gordon Pynn · Patricia Quaife · Joseph Robinson · Roberta Rockall · Barbara L. Roos · Milforde Rose · Robert Rouse · Denise Schaubeck · Paul Sekhon · Eleanor Semocuk · Rosa Silletta · Sirinder Dhillon Singh · Suzanne Skedgel-Hill · Douglas A. Snowsell · Helen Spain · Brian Spencer · Richard Steeds · Sheryl Steeves · Terry Stewart · Francis I. Stuart · Karen L. Sveinson · Elena Tarasiouk · Elizabeth Thierry · Norma Thompson · Lona Thyvold · John F. Tomczak

· Simone Tomlison · Johannes N. van der Wereld · Norman Wacker · Margaret Walkinshaw · Mary S. Warrington · Kathleen West · Gloria Whitehead · Dorothy Wilk · Ron Willems · Allan Wilson · Yu Chung Wong · Wendy L. Zonneveld

IN HONOUR Micaela Serra

Compassionate care at Victoria Hospice is made possible through the generosity of our community. The individuals listed below have been remembered by friends and loved ones with gifts In Memory and In Honour between August 1, 2017 and October 31, 2017. These meaningful gifts honour precious lives and help to enhance quality of life for other patients and families in need.

Wanted! Garden Recommendations

Do you have a fabulous garden? Or do you know someone

who has? We are currently seeking garden nominations for the 2018 Teeny Tiny Garden Tour, with a focus on gardens in the Lansdowne, Oak Bay, James Bay, Vic West and Esquimalt areas. The tour features a variety of garden types and sizes, so gardens do not have to be Teeny Tiny to qualify!

Please contact Wendy Innes at 250-519-1747 with your recommendations.

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