04:ENGAGE

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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TIPS FOR ENGAGING

When beginning to communicate with

someone, you have to decide whether

or not you want to continue into a

conversation. If you decide to engage,

there are a number of non-verbal and

verbal tactics you can use that will aid

in showing your engagement.

As you carry forward in the

conversation there are also a handful

of techniques that can help guide how

you choose to answer any difficult

questions that may arise.

ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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TECHNIQUES FOR DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

• Consider the situation

• Gauge the attitude of the questioner

• Listen and think through the question

• Identify the context

• Prepare to answer

• Answer confidently and clearly

• Relate to and emphasize shared cultural

values

• Find commonalities

• Don’t speak negatively about other cultures

• Ask questions

• It’s ok to say you don’t know the answer

• Try to control your emotions

• Try to make an emotional connection

Show empathy—most often, even if

the communication is challenging,

people just want to be heard. You do

not have to agree, but trying to see

things from another’s perspective can

be enlightening.

When Starting Out Generally, When Responding

04:ENGAGE

TECHNIQUES FOR ENGAGING

Depending on the question you’ve been asked and your willingness to engage, any number of the following tactics could be useful:

• Provide personal experiences/anecdotes

• Use humor

• Ask a question in response

»Ask their opinion, or for clarification about wherethey came across the information they’re providing

• Refer to the diversity of the United States

• Address stereotypes

»Be willing to explain that stereotypes don’t applyto everyone

• Use examples from history

• Defer to policy or process

• Pivot to the future

• Redefine the question

If you’re off the beaten path, you might be the only person affiliated with the United States that the person you’re interacting with has met. Try to maintain a positive attitude and be a teacher and a student. If you’re willing to share and you’re open to learning, it’s likely you will have better experiences.

When Responding to Difficult Questions

Keep in Mind

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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If you decide you want to get out of the

conversation or avoid a question, there are

a number of things that you can do.

What follows are some tips for dealing

with difficult questions and ways to step

away from conversations that seem like

they’re veering into topics you don’t want

to address.

TIPS FOR DISENGAGING

04:ENGAGE

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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TECHNIQUES FOR DISENGAGING

When Fielding a Difficult Question

You Don’t Want to Answer Examples

• Politely refuse to answer or say that you “Sorry, I’m not comfortable answering that,” or

don’t know the answer “I’m afraid I don’t know.”

• Point to the complicated nature of the issue “That’s hard to answer, what are your thoughts

and ask their opinion about it?”

• Refer to the diversity of the United States “The United States is a big country and there are a lot of different opinions about...”

• Acknowledge that no country is perfect“Obviously our country, like many others, is not

• Refer to history without its faults.”

“Well, our founding fathers had their reasons, and a lot of people still debate what they were.”

ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING

TECHNIQUES AND TIPS FOR DISENGAGING

SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD

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When Fielding a Difficult Question

You Don’t Want to Answer Examples

Tips

• Point to your lack of involvement in the issue

• Deflect or change the subject

“I haven’t really experienced that,” or “I’m not a policymaker.”

“It’s such a nice night, why are we talking about…,” or “You like movies, right? What did you think of…”

• Remain as neutral as you can.

• Don’t take things personally.

• Do your best to maintain yourcomposure if the topic is offensive to you.

• Try not to get defensive.

• Try to recognize when stereotypes comeinto play.

• Remember, humor can help defuse acharged situation.

• Have a handful of positive things to sayabout the culture you’re in.