THROUGH BEREAVEMENT TO HAPPINESS

8/14/2019 THROUGH BEREAVEMENT TO HAPPINESS

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Through

BEREAVEMENTTo

HAPPINESS

2008

By

Michael Evans and Lily Woodard

This true story could give you a completely

new idea about Life and Death


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II

First edition

Copyright Michael Evans & Lily Woodard 2008

Michael Evans & Lily Woodard have asserted their right

under the Copyright, Designs

and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the

authors of this book.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by

trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise

circulated without the publishers prior consent in any

form of binding or cover other than that in which

it is published and without a similar condition,including this condition, being imposed

on the subsequent purchaser.

Printed on demand by Createspace.com


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III

FOREWORD

Bereavement is universal, not so happiness. This tale tells of four

people, Michael, Lily, Nancy and Charlie, describing their

individual lives, highlighted against a background of war and

peace, town and country, hope and despair.

For 45 years Michael and Nancy lived a happy married life

in the West Country, Michael serving in the R.A.F., later a

magistrate, teacher and conservationist. Charlie an outgoing

buoyant engineer, long happily married to Lily, who, emanating

from Londons East End, progressed work-wise in fascinating

ways, together experiencing life in many countries.

The fates then struck. Nancy and Charlie passed away. The

dark and gloomy shadow of bereavement, loneliness, solitariness,

enveloped widower Michael and widow Lily. They suffered that

sense of isolation, separation, that hurts and wounds, the lot of

more and more in todays demanding, impersonal world.

Yet both adjusted, as they had to, helped by the knowledge

that death is not the end, that the individual spirit survives in a

wider and fuller consciousness. This book describes their faith and

experiences in the revelations of Spiritualism, buttressed by theircontact through mediums with their former spouses, and

particularly by Michaels dedicated circles and Rescue groups,

succouring confused souls who had found no peace.

The story tells much more. It tells of the search for

companionship, of the gradual flowering of the bond of love

between Michael and Lily and their eventual marriage, achieving

a happiness neither had believed possible. They had journeyed

through the dark days of loss into a brighter world of later joy.A surprising note is the close link that developed in the

world of spirit between the two departed spouses, who gave their

full and joyous blessing to the couple here below.

This is an uplifting picture of the organic, steady growth of

relationships, for human relationships, here, and beyond, are

everything. All the rest is but commentary. I commend this

admirably told personal story. We will all be bereaved, yet we all

seek happiness. We have much to learn from the lives of theseindividuals who, facing the bleakness of bereavement, were yet

finally blessed with the glowing rays of happiness.

Aubrey Rose C.B.E. D.Univ.


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IV

THROUGH BEREAVEMENT TO

HAPPINESS

Let me not to the marriage of true mindsAdmit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds.

William Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Dedicated to our former spouses.

Nancy and Charlie

Who changed our lives


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V

Summary of contents

ChaptersPart I

1 In the Depths 1

2 Lily Remembers 6

3 The Message 12

4 The First Three Months 19

5 Paths Cross 246 The Visits 33

7 The Private Reading 44

8 Unexpected Attentions 51

9 Guiding Messages 61

10 No Strings Attached 70

11 After the Holiday 9012 Decision 98

13 Introductions 106

14 Topsham Wins 116

15 The Wedding 135

16 Prophecies Fulfilled 151

17 Fifteen Years On 168


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1

THROUGH BEREAVEMENT

TO HAPPINESS

LOVE CONQUERS DEATH

CHAPTER ONE

IN THE DEPTHS

Some miles apart were two people, each sitting alone,

immersed in the pain of their grief. One was Michael Evans,

a tall, retired schoolteacher of 69 years, who had recently

lost his wife Nancy. He sat in the small terrace house in a

narrow street leading down to the River Exe in Devon. He

was thinking back over his life while a black and white

collie dog watched him from its usual position on the green

settee.Eighteen miles away, Lily Woodard sat in the living

room of her ancient granite house with its pillared facade,

known to every visitor to the small Dartmoor town. She, too,

had recently lost her husband, the helpful, cheerful, ever-

laughing Charlie, liked and admired by so many. Lily, too,

was thinking back over her life, lost in her grief after so

many years of happy marriage. Neither of them had any ideahow their lives would cross in the years ahead.

For Michael the pain of grief was still keen after three

months of bereavement. Although he and Nancy had

become Spiritualists, twelve years before, and were

convinced of the existence of an afterlife, the loss of his life-

long companion was no less keenly felt. The empty house,

the empty chair, the empty bed, shouted their owner's

complete and final absence. The dog too, he thought, pined

for her absent mistress.


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This evening, as a bittersweet occupation, he had

assembled photographs of the various stages of their family

life. There were wedding photos, snaps of the children in the

various stages of growing up; reminders of family holidays,first with children, then with the children and their children;

and always Nancy, the lively, caring, encouraging mother

and grandmother in the pictures he chose.

He sat thinking about her life. A childhood attack of

endocarditis when she was ten had begun to affect her again

in her sixties. For the last ten years, gradually increasing

heart pains had limited her speed of movement; she, whowhen young, had walked so fast that she passed ordinary

walkers as though she was on skates.

When they first met, he had been an RAF Sergeant

Instructor, taking officer cadets on daily route marches, yet

he had had to exert himself to keep up with her on their

country walks. To the end, she had never given in. Only the

previous year, helped by grandchildren, she had climbed tothe top of Hembury, a local hill fort, in slow stages, stopping

to admire the view a dozen times, as she waited for the

angina pains to subside. In the last three days, in spite of

sleepless nights, she had kept up, cooking meals for them

both and their grandchild, Kathleen, who came to lunch.

On the last day, a lovely sunny day, they had driven

their older grandson to Crediton, to take an art examination.

On the way there, she had said to him, If I die, Tim, Im

going to sort out this communication business!

On their return she had insisted on cooking lunch. At

half-past eight that evening, she had said, Ive had enough!

I want to be out of my body. I'm going to bed. She had

slowly climbed the stairs for the last time, pausing for breathat every stair. He had followed her up and lain on the bed,

fully clothed, holding her hand as they talked. By half-past


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ten, nothing would stop the attacks of angina, and he rang

the doctor's emergency number. The call was diverted to a

locum, who came quickly, gave her an injection and called

an ambulance. Nancy had been perfectly clear-headed throughout,

more so than Michael, who had a sense of impending

calamity. In spite of an ambulance 'strike', one soon

appeared, and the strong, capable, uniformed men, wrapped

the patient in blankets and carried her to the waiting

ambulance.

He had followed by car with her ready-packed case ofthings needed for a hospital stay. For an hour and a half he

had waited anxiously outside the resuscitation room. What

was happening? Why such a wait?

Would you like to see your wife for a minute? a

nurse asked, coming out of the resuscitation room. Good, he

could see her! Perhaps all was well. He nodded and followed

her. In the room were two doctors and two nurses, whoappeared to be waiting, apparently doing nothing. Nancy

was sitting up on a trolley, conscious, her breathing laboured

under an oxygen mask.

A glass of water, she managed to mouth at him and

he quickly brought one. He lifted the mask and she took a

sip.

Oxygen makes me dry, she whispered.

I think you had better go now, said the nurse, and

once again he was outside, waiting; waiting, in the bare

empty corridor-come waiting room. Was she going to make

it, he wondered? She was not afraid of death, he knew, and

would hate being an invalid. But they might yet do some

medical magic and restore her to health again.After half an hour, the lady doctor came out. Would

you come and sit here a minute, she said, and then,


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'I'm afraid she did not make it. The heart was too bad!

There was nothing we could do!

The terrible finality of the words rang in his head like

a bell. 'Didn't make it! Didn't make it. So she had gone, hislife's companion had gone.

Would you like to see her? the doctor asked.

Without speaking, he nodded and followed her through to a

small side room. Nancy's body was lying there, looking

completely at rest in the nightgown she had left home in.

But clearly Nancy, the vibrant, sensitive, articulate Nancy

had gone and left behind the body she no longer needed. Shesimply wasn't there.

Half doubtfully, Michael addressed a few words into

the air, words of blessing and encouragement, as she entered

the new life he hoped she would now find.

Would you like to sit down and have some tea? said

a nurse, her eyes full of sympathy.

He was appreciative, but said, No thank you! I mustget back. Driving home in the car, with the case of unused

belongings, he had remembered how, many years before,

they had discussed death and parting, and he had said he

would like to see her, 'safely off, when the time came. Well

he had done it! Whatever loss and grief he now faced, it was

better this way. He had his health and more resources than

she would have had, had he gone first. His pension would

have died with him, and she was in no state, with a failing

heart, to be left alone to cope.


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Charlie and Lily

married on 23.12.1939

Michael and Nancy

married on 1.6.1944


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CHAPTER TWO

LILY REMEMBERS

In Moretonhampstead, Lily, too, was thinking back

over her eventful life and the many crises she had had to

face. Brought up in London's East End, she had trained in

office work at Clark's College and, at sixteen, she was

abroad, working in Switzerland for a German typewriter

firm. Her ultra-high speed typing had won her the job as a

demonstration typist, going to a. number of exhibitions onthe Continent. She had fallen completely in love with

Switzerland, its lakes, mountains and picturesque houses.

People had said she was beautiful. She only knew

they were kind to her, and admired her ability and

adventurousness. After her experience, growing up in grimy

London, the sunshine and flowers of Switzerland seemed

like heaven on earth. She felt completely at home there andhad no desire to return to London. But then the blow fell.

War with Germany loomed. She was offered a job in

Switzerland, but she knew she was needed at home and,

reluctantly, she had finished her last exhibition and travelled

back across a rapidly arming Europe to get home before the

inevitable war began.

Then she had had to look for work at home. Taken on

as secretary to the managing director of a typewriter firm,

she had been suddenly directed to work instead on

inspection in the factory, now making nothing but munitions

of war. The near hysteria among the men in the factory, at

the advent of the very first female worker, was tempered by

the kindness of the Chief Inspector, Charlie Woodard.Soon she had vied with the men inspectors in her

speed of work. She had been determined to show them she


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could cope, although the smell of oil and hot metal was quite

alien to her nature, and 8a.m. to 8p.m. seemed very long

hours.

In the end, with bombs falling nightly, she hadmarried Charlie. When he was directed to leave the firm to

be an engineer in Betteshanger Colliery, she was appointed

Chief Inspector in his place, working as everyone did,

twelve hours a day, five days a week, and ten hours on

Saturdays and Sundays, so that shopping, even for scanty

rations, became almost impossible.

All their lives, she and Charlie had worked hard. Shehad been the one small enough to go through the hollow

metal pipes of the, Pipe Line Under the Ocean, checking

for flaws. These were parts for the device, code named,

'Pluto', which, hanging from floats, but submerged beneath

the waves, carried vast amounts of fuel across the channel to

supply the Allied invasion army with petrol.

After the war, with her father ill and penniless, she andCharlie had taken both her parents with them into the many

successive homes they had acquired in their ever changing

lives, and always enough money had to be found to meet her

parents' needs as well as their own.

She had worked with Charlie in a succession of jobs.

Together they had run a farm with 600 head of cattle. Later

Charlie became a leading plastics engineer, involved in

making specialist one-off structures, such as the dome for a

cathedral in Nigeria, radar scanner dishes, cowlings for the

cameras photographing atomic explosions, and the car

bodies for Lotus Cars. She, too, had worked in plastics and

had her own papers published on plastics design.

When Charlie fell ill in Chile, far from medical help,she had flown out alone to Arica, a remote place on the

borders of Peru, Bolivia and Chile, where the only


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medicines available were herbs bought from a local native

stall. In the end Charlie had recovered and set up a factory

production line to make reinforced glass fibre bodies for

British Leyland Minis, the world-beating small car of itsday The glass fibre bodies were so beautifully finished by

the native workers, that they had all been justifiably proud of

them, especially as they were rust proof and could outlast

steel bodies. When they left, the Ambassador had said

farewell and presented Charlie with the hand-made, leather-

covered table of Aztec design, she still had upstairs.

Always, together, they had survived crises. First herfather had died, leaving her to give up work to look after her

now senile, almost blind mother. After 10 years of that

struggle, and her own illness that followed, she had

gradually recovered and developed her own hobby of

machine knitting, so that she had shown her wares at craft

exhibitions.

They had been local affairs not like the huge plasticsexhibitions that she and Charlie had attended on the

continent where, for a few days of luxury, they had stayed in

some of the best hotels in Europe.

But this last tragedy was much the worst she had ever

encountered. At first things had gone well. After months of

illness and hospital visits, Charlie had been declared fit by

the doctor at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital and they

had set out for home. The route back from the hospital to

their home at Mortonhampstead was, in summer, one of the

prettiest in Devon. With hundreds of bends, and new views

revealed by every twist and turn of the way, the narrow road

to Dartmoor was loved by tourists.

On this day the 22nd December, the wind was blowing a gale, the rain had been torrential, floods were

everywhere, and they were relieved when they finally


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arrived home, feeling very joyful about the hospital report.

Soon they knew the roads would be impassable. Once home,

Lily realised that urgent letters had not been posted. As,

'Lucky, the Jack Russell dog, had not had her walk, Lilybraved the wind and rain to walk with her to the post office,

a quarter of a mile away. As she walked, a sudden, vivid

flash of lightning surprised her and frightened the dog. As

the dog pulled in fear, she lost her balance and fell on the

granite kerb, and then into the road. She heard bones break

in her arm as she landed. Fearfully she had managed to

regain her feet, still clutching the dog's lead in the hand ofher good arm. She was streaming with muddy water and her

first thought had been to wonder whether she could hide her

injury and act normally to avoid upsetting Charlie who had

been so ill. Then she realised her muddy clothes could not

be hidden.

She was still trembling from the shock and a little

afraid, as she knew the road back to the hospital would nowbe impassable.

Charlie had, for many years, been a member of St.

John's Ambulance Brigade. Soon her wet clothes were

peeled off and the movements of her wrist and fingers

checked. Charlie placed the injured arm in a sling. She had

said nothing of the breaks she could feel in the upper arm

and shoulder. Within a few hours she noticed that from the

fingertips to the shoulder, her arm had turned black.

The next day had been her birthday. She had tried to

ignore the pain in her arm and, with Charlie's help, she

baked a cake and prepared meals. Later they had risked

taking the car to deliver Christmas presents they had ready

for friends and neighbours. When they arrived home again,Charlie had happened to see her blackened arm.

Look at that arm, he had said, thats the worst I've


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It's all right to grieve you know, the doctor had said,

as he kindly put an arm on her good shoulder. Somehow she

had turned off her tumultuous emotions and she heard

herself say, If they needed him there, more than I neededhim here, at Christmas, it must have been necessary, I'll cope

somehow.

She heard the doctor reply, What a wonderful way to

look at it - but what's wrong with your arm? She had

explained briefly about the fall. He examined the arm and

pronounced it broken in three places but the sling had been

put on properly and there was not much more he could do.Two days later, another doctor had called and brought the

death certificate. You know where we are if you want us.

he said, and departed into the gale that was still blowing.


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CHAPTER THREE

A MESSAGE

Michael had now assembled his chosen photographs

on a piece of backing card. He had found an old picture

frame, inserted the photos, and hung it on the wall where he

could see it from his armchair.

His mind went back to that black day in November

when Nancy had left him. She had died at 1 a.m. on

Thursday the 30th. He had driven home, quickly walked thedog, and gone to bed at about 2.30 a.m. The next day was a

blur of activity, 'phone calls, and lists of things to be done.

When he told people the news, their distress triggered his

own and his tears had flowed unchecked. They were a

natural relief to the pain within. On the Friday morning he

had a memorable 'phone call. A member of the local

Spiritualist Church, of which he was secretary, rang him.Hello Michael.

Yes?

'Just to let you know what happened last night'.

'Yes, what was that?' The speaker was Jean, a

clairvoyant and healer.

'We were saying prayers at the end of evening healing

in the church when I got a message.

'Yes?'

'It was from Mrs Burbidge, a well-known Spiritualist

of years ago. She just said this: DON'T WORRY. I AM

LOOKING AFTER NANCY! I thought you'd like to

know.

He managed to say, Thank you. That's marvellous.Thank you very much!

Although, as a Spiritualist, Michael was quite


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accustomed to receiving messages from those who had

passed on, this had not always been the case. Originally a

scientifically minded agnostic, only a severe injury to his

spine which orthodox medicine could not cure, had broughthim in despair into a Spiritualist Church for healing. In the

church, a young man who had not actually touched him, but

had held his hands over the affected part, had healed him in

ten minutes.

He and Nancy had been so impressed by the healing,

and the fact that he could, resume his teaching career, that

they had started to attend the services at the church. At firstMichael had sat listening to the messages passed to various

members of the congregation with a sceptical attitude. He

could not believe that the dead were not finally extinguished

and gone. Yet, as detailed evidence piled up and his mother,

father and brother came through with characteristic and

evidential messages, he had finally given in and accepted

that there was a life after death in a new dimension andcommunication was possible. But would Nancy be able to

get a message through?

The message from Jean had given him a glimmer of

hope, a hope that was to be fulfilled beyond anything he

would have imagined possible.

Both he and Nancy had been members of meditation

groups. One had been held in their home for some years and

another was held at the house of a friend, a nurse, who was

also a medium. Because of this they had a number of friends

with varying degrees of psychic ability. He had started

'phoning members of the meditation group with the sad

news. When he rang Sheila, she was sympathetic but not

altogether surprised. Within half an hour she rang him back.'I was just coming out of the shower,' she said, 'when I

heard Nancy's voice clearly asking me to give you a


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message. It was this:

PLEASE TELL MICHAEL NOT TO FORGET THE

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR THE GRANDCHILDREN

IN THE TOP CUPBOARD OF THE LIVING ROOM.ALSO THAT SOME LITTLE BITS OF JEWELLERY

THAT WOULD COMFORT LITTLE KATHLEEN, ARE

IN A BAG IN THE CABINET BY THE HATCH.'

Thank you! Thank you! he said. Did you see her?

No, I just heard her voice in my head. I couldn't

mistake her voice. She sounded fine.

With this message, so characteristic of Nancy, newlight began to dawn in the dark despair of Michael's grief.

Nancy had come through, incredibly, within two days of

passing!

When his granddaughter, Kathleen, came later that

afternoon, after crying for hours at home, she went straight

to the cabinet by the hatch and took out the little bag of

jewellery she had always loved to play with when shevisited her granny. Her tears ceased as she sat quietly in the

corner, fingering the well-known bits of family jewellery.

In spite of all he had to do, Michael felt drawn to go

to the Saturday meeting at the Spiritualist Church, where

two new mediums were to take the service, They were

Victor and Barbara Kear-Morgan from Bath. In the final part

of the service, Barbara came directly to him and said:

I HAVE A LOVELY LADY HERE. SHE WAS A

VERY CARING SOUL WHO THOUGHT OF

EVERYONE BEFORE HERSELF. SHE WANTED TO DO

SO MUCH, BUT WAS TOLD SHE MUST STOP AND

HAVE SOME REST AND PEACE. SHE SAYS THE

SAME MUST APPLY TO YOU! YOU MUST HAVESOME REST AND PEACE. SHE SENDS YOU DEEP

LOVE!


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This message from a complete stranger had rung so

true that he felt a fresh surge of hope and gratitude. The

feelings of love and thankfulness almost overwhelmed him.

He longed to tell his family and friends the news.He had always carefully recorded messages and now

this one was noted down.

The following day, longing to hear more news, he had

arranged to go to the three o'clock service at the church, with

Sheila, who had always been close to Nancy. Towards the

end of the service, Victor, the medium came to him with a

message about his life going straight ahead, but nothing wassaid about Nancy.

As the service ended, he had felt disappointed, having

had such a clear message the day before.

Sheila, a psychic, who had sat on his left during the

service, looked delighted.

Why the smiles? He said,

I'VE HAD NANCY SITTING BESIDE MEDURING THE SERVICE, she said, 'THIS TIME SHE

WAS QUITE CLEAR. SHE SAID THAT YOU WOULD

GET THE NEXT MESSAGE BUT ONE, WHICH YOU

DID, AND THAT YOU HAD TWO PAIRS OF SOCKS

ON.

That morning he had been busy, as Nancy had

requested, clearing out all her clothes from a chest of

drawers, to send to a refugee camp abroad. He had been

quite alone in the house, as he thought, when he came across

a brand new pair of dark socks in her drawer and, as it was a

very cold day, he had put them on over his own short socks.

No one could have known this because the inner socks were

quite invisible.It came to him with great force that Nancy had

watched him put them on. His heart leapt as he thought of


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her presence there in the room as he worked to carry out her

suggestion about the clothes. So she had been that close!

In spite of his grief, he suddenly, strangely, felt lucky.

He had no mediumistic powers himself and if this hadhappened to them years ago, when he knew nothing of these

matters, he would have had no way of hearing from her or

indeed, any ray of hope in his bereavement.

Nancy's messages continued to come. A few days

later, another gifted friend, Valerie, a medical secretary, sent

him a beautifully typed account of her messages from

Nancy. It said that on Monday 4th December, she had beenmeditating at home, when she distinctly heard Nancy's

familiar voice saying,

HELLO VALERIE! HOW ARE YOU? THERE'S

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, YOU KNOW, IT WAS

SO EASY! I JUST SORT OF SLIPPED OUT!' Then, after a

pause, I'M REALLY QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TO

THURSDAY.

Thursday was to be the day of the funeral when she

would see many of her family and friends gathered together.

The typed account went on, 'It was during the funeral that I

heard Nancy's voice again. She said,

HELLO VALERIE! I'M GLAD YOU COULD

COME! then, stronger than ever, as we were singing the

23rd Psalm, ISN'T IT FUNNY? HERE I AM AND HALF

THE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. The note

continued, 'Nancy sounded so bright and cheerful and

amused by it all that I nearly laughed out loud.'

The account went on to say that, the next, day, Valerie

had been ill in bed, not thinking of anything in particular,

when she heard Nancy's voice again,HELLO VALERIE! HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Then they had a long conversation together, which she could


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not remember in detail, but when she asked her, what it was

like for her, she answered,

LOVELY! PEACE! NO PAIN! and she gave the

impression that there would be quite a lot morecommunication in the future.

Later, Valerie had typed out what she had already

partly described to Michael and the rest of the group. The

meditation group had met again for the first time after the

funeral on December 18th. At first Valerie had wondered if

Nancy would, 'come through' again, but nothing happened.

Then she heard Nancy's voice in her head, more stronglythan ever, saying,

IT'S MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU DON'T TRY

SO HARD!

She told Valerie that she had been around the group.

I PUT MY ARMS AROUND MICHAEL; I DON'T

KNOW IF HE KNEW. THEN I STOOD IN 'MY PLACE

BEFORE MOVING ON TO BRETT. TELL HIM I LIKEHIS JUMPER!

Valerie then felt Nancy come to her and put her arms

around her. She wrote, Words can't even begin to describe

the feeling of love and caring warmth that enveloped me. I

was completely surrounded by all this incredible feeling, and

I just, could not physically or mentally cope with it for more

than a few seconds and I broke down in tears. All I can say

is, if that was a glimpse or insight into the feeling of love

and joy that awaits us all, Nancy must be so happy now.

Michael read the beautifully typed sheets again and

again with a full heart. He then stored them carefully away

with his other records. When, earlier on, he had called at the

surgery for the death certificate, the duty doctor had said,'You must expect the usual stages of grief to affect you. You

will, at times, experience loss, anger, depression, even


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resentment, before you can accept your wife's death calmly.'

He had hesitated before replying. The doctor was busy

as he was himself. Should he take time to explain? He knew

he must face loneliness and loss from now on, but he wasbuoyed up by a warm feeling of wonder and gratitude for the

way events were unfolding. He decided not to bother but just

to thank him and get on with all the necessary things he had

to settle in this new bleak phase of his life.


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CHAPTER FOUR

THE FIRST THREE MONTHS

Lily's profound emotions had remained almost

completely suppressed. She was in a state of shock. She felt

totally alone. She now had no family, no near close friends,

no means of transport. Charlie had been the driver in any

case and she would have no money now to run a car.

Charlie was a healer, and had innumerable friends,

and she now had to break the news to them. They could not believe that the cheerful laughing man had gone. Many of

his healing patients had spoken to him only 24 hours before

and they wept at the news that he was gone, never to cheer

or heal them again. Their tears had added to her own

feelings of loss and isolation.

A healer friend, Margaret, offered to come and stay as

Lily could not cope with the lively terrier and needed help todo so many ordinary things with only one good arm.

Margaret stayed for a month but as she had just lost the use

of her own car through a road accident, Lily had to rely on

Charlie's friends to ferry her on essential journeys. Eunice, a

practical and kindly woman, drove her to the crematorium

where an amazing crowd of mourners had come to say

'goodbye to Charlie. Eunice, who had hardly known Lily

before, was later to become a devoted friend and helper.

Lily found it hard to describe the emotions she felt at

that time. She could not cry and suffered no apparent grief

during the service, which, although simple, had emphasised

the devotion so many people felt for Charlie who had spent

his life helping others. Something inside her had told herthat all would be well and it was no use worrying about how

she was to manage. There were many problems, she knew.


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Could she manage to stay in the large house that they

rented? Could she cope with the large productive garden

they had worked together? How would she manage

financially? Somehow, she felt a solution would be found,and she concentrated on the immediate tasks, all of which

took longer than usual because of her damaged arm.

The first three months after the funeral had been a

dreadfully sad time. She missed Charlie so much as they had

always worked together and shared everything. In the garden

there were precious plants she had moved from house to

house over the years as well as new fruit trees needingattention. Lucky, the Jack Russell, had spent hours lying

on the wide windowsill of the ancient house, looking out for

her beloved master's return. A brown terrier, she had gone

white around her mouth with the shock of Charlie's death.

Lily and Charlie had been Spiritualists for some years.

The thought that tormented her was, How could Charlie

contact her? He had never gone anywhere in fifty yearswithout saying 'Goodbye.' She knew he wouldn't be happy

until he had explained to her what had happened. She also

feared that unless she could go back to church and meet

people soon, she might not ever have the courage to go

again with Charlie gone.

The weather had been appalling in January and

February and she felt unsettled in the old house on her own

with the gale whistling round the huge chimneys. She

longed to go to church to see if she would get a message

from Charlie. She had often had messages there from

departed friends. Surely Charlie would be able to come

through.

At last on 25th February, Margaret, who now had acar, came to drive her the eighteen miles to her Spiritualist

Church. The medium taking the service did give her a


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message but she did not mention Charlie. The message was,

Dont worry! All will be well. Don't be pressed into signing

anything without careful thought. Enjoy the flowers.

As she had received many presents of flowers, thisseemed quite evidential, and to the point, but it was not what

she had hoped for.

On March 4th she was again taken to church and this

time she did get a message from Charlie through a visiting

medium from Exeter called John Greene. He said,

'Charlie is here and he says look to August next year for a

special happening. He has been sitting beside you andknows you have been very depressed. You must take care of

your knee. You must look after yourself and not so much

others. He says he had not been able to get his breath. He

sends his love.'

This was an answer to the question she had been so

concerned about. Had he suffered and why had he not called

out? It was true that, years ago, she had injured her kneefalling in a milking parlour at the farm and it did give her

trouble. This message lifted her spirits and gave hope of

further contact. Her days passed reasonably well. A stream

of visitors, phone calls and letters kept her busy. Ever since

she had spent two years as a solicitor's clerk, she had had an

interest in legal and social matters and she often acted as a

kind of Citizen's Advice Bureau to people baffled by

bureaucratic forms or injustice. She had helped several

people, including Margaret, to claim compensation after

suffering injury and loss in an accident. These affairs, and

the long garden, occupied her days, but she felt as though

she was in a dream, waiting for some unknown thing to

happen.The nights were unsettling. The house was very old;

parts of it dated back to 1485. She and Charlie had worked


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happily bringing the dilapidated building up to its present

liveable state, but the whole place groaned and creaked in

the winter storms as the winds battered the thatch.

One night, a horde of mysterious creatures had run toand fro over her bedroom ceiling, while others had run about

in the two-foot gap between her bedroom floor and the

ceiling of the living room below. The sound of the scurrying

of innumerable feet, and the squealing of the creatures above

and below, terrified the little dog that was normally a

determined hunter. She cowered in fear at this visitation

while Lily passed a sleepless night, wondering what animalsthey could possibly be to make such a noise. They never

returned and she never found out what they were but with a

ladder and Eunice's help, she managed to put poisoned bait

into the roof space. In this roof space were layers of

accumulated dust and debris. It was the smoke blackened

beams beneath the thatch that first proved to the historians

of the National Trust that the roof had been in use in thedays before houses had chimneys, many centuries ago.

On Sunday 11th

March, Margaret came to spend the

day with her and take her to church. The speaker, a tall

bespectacled man called Michael Evans, mentioned his own

recent loss of his wife and described briefly some

communications he had already had from her. He also read

from a book a passage that brought deep feelings welling to

the surface in Lily, so that, although she longed to speak to

him and ask him the name and author of the book, she was

too choked with emotion to speak. She wondered, too, how

he could hide his own grief so well. Lily knew she could not

possibly have spoken publicly so soon after her loss.

The passage in the book stayed in her mind so persistently that eventually she felt she must trace it. She

found Mr Evans phone number and asked him for details of


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the book. Three days later, to her surprise, a parcel arrived in

the post. It was the book, 'Testimony of Light'. A note said:

I thought you'd like to have the book quickly-it may be

some time before you can buy it. Best wishes, MichaelEvans.

On 17th March, for no particular reason, something

urged her to bake for the first time since Charlie's death.

Soon she had fruitcake, sponges and biscuits cooling, ready

to put into tins. She decided to cheer herself up by changing

from her old gardening clothes into something more

presentable. As she came down stairs again, wondering howshe would ever eat all the things she had baked, now she was

on her own, there was a knock at the door.


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CHAPTER FIVE

PATHS CROSS

Like other bereaved people, Michael had periods

when he felt lost and unhappy. When he came home there

was no one to speak to. If an interesting thing happened,

there was no one to share it with. When a problem arose

there was no one to discuss it with. At the supermarket,

where they had always shopped together, he had to brace

himself to face going in alone, and often he would think, fora moment, that he saw Nancy's familiar figure pushing a

trolley at the end of an aisle, waiting for him. On the

recreation ground, where he exercised his dog, she, too,

would rush up to anyone looking like Nancy, asking them to

throw her ball for her. Yet, compared with most bereaved

people, he still felt he was fortunate. He attended the same

friendly groups that they had both belonged to. He had a carand sufficient income for his needs. His duties as church

secretary occupied him, and brought him into human contact

with members of the committee and congregation. For some

years he had taken services, together with a medium, in

various churches in Devon and Cornwall, and he also gave

talks on both Spiritualism and Conservation at various

centres in the West Country.

Strangely enough, for a man, he quite enjoyed

housework, shopping and cooking. He knew that Nancy had

a fear that left on his own, he might do as a neighbour had

done when widowed, and slide into an untidy and

unhygienic squalor. For this reason, he enjoyed being

meticulous with housework, especially as he could listen tohis favourite tapes or radio programmes as he worked.

On March 11th, he was due to go with the medium,


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Marian Bellfield, to take a service at a Church some ten

miles away. Later that week, a lady rang him to ask the

name of the book he had read from during the service. The

book was, Testimony of Light, by Helen Greaves, and hegave her the details over the 'phone. The lady, Lily

Woodard, explained that she had been too overcome by

emotion, because of her own recent loss, to be able to

approach him for the details after the service,

Michael put down the 'phone and stood thinking. He

knew it would be many weeks before she would get the

book from the publishers and she sounded in real need. Onan impulse he picked up his copy of the book and posted it

to her, finding her address from the 'phone book. A few days

later he received a letter of thanks. Enclosed were stamps to

the value of those used to post the book.

On March 17th the day was sunny and Michael's

grandchildren who lived nearby had started their school

holiday. He knew the two boys had talked of exploring theold disused railway line, which ran from Bovey Tracey to

Mortonhampstead. The boys were aged 13 and 15 and still

willing to go with an adventure-loving grandfather. When he

suggested the expedition, they jumped at the idea and, with

two collie dogs; they were soon travelling through the

beautiful Devonshire countryside in his old Audi car.

After stopping and studying the one-inch map, they

found a small turning leading to the old railway line. The

spirit of adventure gripped the boys and they ran about

ahead of Michael, exploring and exclaiming at abandoned

equipment on the deserted line. Primroses, periwinkles and

early daffodils surrounded all the old signals, dilapidated

bridges and rusting machinery. Full of excitement at everynew find, the boys rushed on and on, with the dogs at their

heels, but time were passing and, at last, they agreed to


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return to the car. As they got in and began to negotiate the

narrow lanes, the idea came to Michael that they were near

Mortonhampstead and he could call on the lady who had

asked about the book. Asking directions, he found his wayto the old granite-pillared home and knocked at the door. A

dog barked and a lady holding a Jack Russell terrier in her

arms opened the door. She had an enquiring look on her

intelligent, lively face.

Excuse me, he said, 'Im Michael Evans. I sent you

the book and I've called to see if you liked it. A smile lit up

the lady's face.Won't you come in? she asked.

I can't stop, he replied, I'm afraid I've got two

grandsons in the car and two dogs.

Bring the boys in, she said, Will the dogs be all

right in the car? Only I've got this one. She nodded at the

terrier, enthusiastically trying to welcome him with a pink

tongue.Oh yes, he replied, 'they are tired out from a long

walk. They'll be all right.

Soon Michael and the two boys were seated at a table

in the white-walled living room. Flowers were all around

them on the wide windowsills of the ancient house, and they

could see others in the back garden through the small paned

windows.

The lady provided tea and a lavish assortment of

cakes and biscuits. The visitors soon realised that their

hostess must be an exceptional cook. Everything they were

offered looked professionally perfect and tasted delicious.

Although signs of strain and grief were visible in her face,

Lily entertained the boys with tales of her adventurous life,especially the episodes in the high Andes Mountains of

South America. Andrew, the younger boy, said,


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You ought to write a book, it's so interesting! I've

often thought of it, she said, and I'm collecting material for

it.

After looking around the large garden, the visitorswent on their way with expressions of thanks for such a

welcome tea. Driving home, Michael thought with interest

of the fascinating house and the interesting lady. He could

see that behind the hospitality and cheerfulness lay a deep

sadness, steadfast endurance and many pressing problems.

He had a feeling that something important had happened

which he could not put his finger on. It had stirredsomething deep inside him. Was it interest, compassion? He

did not know.

Michael's life became busier and busier. Although he

was content to work in the house or garden in the day, he

felt a strong desire to leave the emptiness of the house in the

evening and visit friends or sit in the meditation groups he

and Nancy had been members of. Doing this he felt lesslonely and at the back of his mind was always the hope that

a psychic friend would bring him news of Nancy.

He had arranged for Nancy's sister, Betty, who had

come to help him when her sister died, to come and stay.

The oldest of the three sisters, she was as lively and

energetic as a twenty-year old and still took part in

archaeological excavations. History and archaeology were

her hobbies and he knew she would be interested in the

ancient house in Mortonhampstead. He telephoned Lily and

asked permission to bring Betty on a visit. Lily invited them

to tea and told them the story of the old granite building,

which had been a monastery and a hospital at different

periods and was now owned by The National Trust, fromwhom she rented it. She explained how she and Charlie,

working together, had installed the bathroom and central


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heating and reclaimed the garden, abandoned for so many

years. A gardener herself, Betty took a keen interest in the

varieties of clematis and roses, the bullace, fig and mulberry

trees and the many kinds of soft fruit bushes,A week later Michael called again with the two boys,

Andy and Tim, after walking on Dartmoor. They were given

refreshments but the visit could not be a long one as a friend

had arrived to take Lily to a service at her church and there

was not enough time for conversation as before.

Partly because of grief, Michael kept as busy as ever.

After nineteen years on the local bench, he had retired earlyfrom duties as a magistrate in order to be with Nancy. He

was however, still chairman of a conservation society and a

member of the County Conservation Forum. He felt the

remedy for grief was to keep busy, to seek company and,

where possible, to help others who were worse off than he

was. Although now retired from teaching, he was chairman

of the Board of Governors of a local school and he still keptin touch with children, teachers, and the new Education

Reform Acts, concerning which, new information arrived

nearly every week.

His grandson, Tim, was very interested in re-

incarnation and Buddhism. Michael had been taking him to

weekly meetings at a local farmhouse where a form of

regression known as Psycho-expansion was taught. Nancy

had, earlier, been to some of the sessions and had had

remarkable experiences of what seemed like previous lives.

Tim, too, could sometimes experience these other lives.

Michael continued to go to the weekly sessions with Tim,

although he was never very convinced by his own

experiences. Often he felt as though he was creating thescenes he saw, in order to have something to enter in his

notebook.


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What was certainly remarkable was the variety and

detail of the scenes that appeared in his mind's eye. Far more

than he could imagine or visualise in a waking state in six

minutes. Only two memories seemed to him to be reallyconvincing, in that they were unexpected and so startlingly

vivid that he never forgot them. One appeared when he was

asked to go to the year 1130 A.D. He felt he was a baby of

about six months, lying on his mother's lap. The room was

dark and gloomy, his mother smelt far from clean and his

father, standing dark and bearded nearby, seemed to tower

so high above them both that he was almost out of sight. Heknew his mother loved him but there was some

disagreement between his mother and the tall man which he

sensed but could not understand. Another vivid memory was

of being a girl of thirteen, wearing her best frock with puffed

sleeves while sitting alone in the parlour of a farmhouse. As

the girl, he knew that outside the door was the passage

leading to the big farm kitchen. The year was about 1780A.D. and she was looking out of the small-paned windows at

the men working in her father's fields. She was wondering

what the men were like at home to their children and wives,

for, she thought, ' I don't really know any other men except

my father.

Convincing or not, the sessions were interesting and

the atmosphere in the house was serene and comforting.

Both the owner and the teacher were practising healers and

the loving atmosphere could be felt on entering the gardens

even before entering the farmhouse. One day he had a

'phone call. Both the leaders would be away, lecturing, and

the Friday session would have to be cancelled - unless

perhaps, Michael would agree to take it. He had a momentof doubt. Could he do it? Certainly he knew the procedure

and the music required. There was no hypnotism involved,


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30

only suggestion. There was a big book of exercises together

with the count down

wording. Yes he would do it, or at

least he would have a try.

Eight people were gathered for the session, includingTim. After introductions and completing the record book,

Michael went through the usual procedure they all knew,

with it's warning that they could cut short any unpleasant

experiences and return at once to the here and now. He

started the gentle music and fought against the temptation to

obey his own instructions and go to 1200 A.D. After seven

minutes he recalled them and switched off the music. Theyall began to write busily in their notebooks, recording their

experiences. Had he managed to regress them then? After

another ten minutes, when nearly all had finished writing, he

asked each in turn, if they were willing, to describe what

they had experienced.

The first lady, a gentle, quiet soul, recalled vividly a

life in which she had been a man, the leader of a nomadicgroup of hunter-gathers on some dry, hot scrubland, possibly

in Africa. The man had seven wives and twenty-seven

children. He affected not to care for the children; that was

women's business. He thought of himself as masculine, a

leader and hunter but secretly, he dearly loved one child, a

little disabled boy with a sweet nature.

The man knew he was growing old and might die and

he was very concerned as to whether his oldest son and head

wife would remember to carry out the exact details of his

funeral ceremony, which, he felt, were vitally important to

his future in the life beyond death. The lady then

experienced the man's death and his viewing of his own

funeral, and she felt his satisfaction as the ceremony wascarried out precisely as he wished.

Michael felt that the life described could hardly have


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been more different from the lady's own quiet life. As the

others told of their vivid experiences, he realised with a little

surprise that he could do what was required to regress

people and, indeed, perhaps anyone could do it, if theyfollowed a suitable formula of words in a suitable setting.

At the Thursday meditation group, Nancy sometimes

communicated through the medium and always she seemed

happy. An early message passed through Marian was,

'Nancy was standing behind you dressed in a 1930s

style wedding dress, signifying a new beginning for her. She

was giving you an armful of lilac and singing,WE'LL GATHER LILACS IN THE SPRING

AGAIN, and laughing because she is singing slightly 'off

key.' She says,

THERE IS A LOT OF WORK FOR YOU TO DO

YET. She says HAS BRETT A SON WHO HAS

DIFFICULTY IN READING? She says, TELL HIM NOT

TO WORRY NOW - LEAVE IT TO THE SUMMER!Brett, a handsome young grower of organic

vegetables, was in the meditation group that met at

Michael's house. Nancy had often been to his home in the

country and had promised, if she could, to come back to him

with an evidential message if she passed. On making

enquiries, Michael found that Bretts son was having reading

problems, so the message was passed on. By the following

autumn the boy was reading successfully and all was well.

A little after this, Nancy communicated with Sheila in

the group meeting at Michael's house. Sheila said,

Nancy's here! She is showing me that she visits us

all at our homes. She says,

JOHN, I SEE YOU COMING BACK FROMSCHOOL, PUTTING ON YOUR SLIPPERS, LEANING

BACK AND SAYING, THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!


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SUZANNE, I SEE YOU HAVING A GLASS OF

SHERRY.

Suzanne: I had one before I came out tonight!

BRANDON, I SEE YOU HAVING A NICE BAROF.CHOCOLATE WHICH YOU KEEP WELL HIDDEN.

Brandon: Too right, I do. You have to in our house.

BRETT, I SEE YOU COLLAPSE INTO BED AT

NIGHT AND YOU THINK, THANK GOD! THAT'S ALL

DONE AND THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP. (Brett has five

young children).

MICHAEL, I SEE YOU SITTING ON YOUR BED AT NIGHT, THINKING, THAT'S DONE AND THAT'S

DONE AND THAT'S OK, CHECKING OFF A LIST.

Michael: I've been doing that recently.

It was noticeable that Nancy was already sufficiently

advanced to be able to project pictures into Sheila's mind as

evidence, as well as sending words of explanation. There

was no doubt she was doing well. Michael wondered if shehad had to judge her past life yet? He had heard that, even

for the best of people, this could be a harrowing experience.

It was some months before he received two messages about

this. In one she said,

'I HAD SOME PRIDE WHEN I CAME OVER, BUT

YOU SOON LOSE THAT.

In the other, the medium said, 'SHE SAYS SHE

REVIEWS HER LIFE, A BIT AT A TIME, NOT TO

REGRET BUT TO LEARN.


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CHAPTER SIX

THE VISITS

Lily had been taken aback when she opened the door

to find Michael Evans on the doorstep. She was grateful to

him for sending the book, which she was thoroughly

enjoying, and she had meant to write again to thank him

when she posted the book back to him. He looked very

different from when she had seen him in church, wearing a

formal grey suit. He looked younger in corduroys and anopen necked-shirt, dressed for walking on the moor, but he

looked so very tired, as though nearly exhausted, and she

gladly invited him in with the two boys he had with him.

She was so glad that she had had that unreasoning, intuitive

urge to bake that morning, so that now she could offer them

a good homemade tea. She was, as well, glad she had put on

some better clothes, almost as if she had known she wouldhave visitors.

They had a lively conversation about the book with its

wonderful description of the afterlife, and she enjoyed

seeing them tuck in with a will to the tea she provided. The

boys asked about the history of the house and the curios on

the wall that she had collected and they listened intently to

her tales of travel in far off countries.

When the visitors departed, Lily found her spirits had

lifted. She realised how starved of conversation she had

been. She enjoyed meeting them and talking to Michael,

who obviously understood her emotional feelings, and she

had very much enjoyed giving pleasure and sustenance to

hungry visitors. For her, life in April was still busy. Neighbours called with problems over pensions and

allowances. Some of Charlie's patients 'phoned when in


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trouble and she did what she could to calm or advise them.

On April 3rd, she happened to listen to a local radio

'phone in' programme. A man 'phoned in, in a very

distressed state, weeping copiously as he asked how to copewith bereavement. Lily thought many people would answer

his cry for help but she felt so touched by his distress that

she wrote to him, through the radio station, explaining that

she, too, had just lost a partner after many years of happy

marriage and she understood how he felt. She did not

foresee the consequences of her letter.

On 13th April she received a letter from the man,Brian, thanking her for her letter and the articles on

bereavement she had enclosed. He revealed that his wife had

committed suicide and Lily's letter was the only one he had

received after his appeal for help. He poured out all his

distress in the letter and so she began to write to him, and

telephone him when she could, to try to cheer him up in his

heartrending grief.At her Spiritualist Church, the service was always

tape-recorded and the forty-five minute recording normally

included most of the messages passed to members of the

congregation at the end of the service. When Lily was next

able to attend, the medium said that before beginning the

clairvoyance she had something to say:

'When I was getting ready to come to church, Charlie

Woodard materialised in front of me. He said:

I'M CHARLIE! I'M CHARLIE! TELL LILY I

LOVE HER AND I'M HAPPY! So I had to pass that on

first. Naturally, the message delighted Lily and she

arranged to borrow the cassette tape so that she could listen

to the message again at home.Two days later she had an unexpected phone call from

Michael. Could he call on her? She invited him to tea and as


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they ate they discussed the feelings of grief they were still

suffering from, and a little of their past histories. Michael

explained his desire to spread the knowledge of the truth of

life continuing after death. He felt the world needed to knowthe truth and so many were unaware of it. She fully agreed

with this and told him of the messages she had already

received from Charlie, and how glad she was to know that

he was all right and happy in his new life. As dusk gathered,

Michael left to drive the eighteen miles home. He felt the

talk had done them both good.

Some of Lily's friends knew that Michael had calledon her and that she was trying to console the man, Brian. A

Mrs Leigh said to her,

'Of course, you could never replace Charlie, could

you?'

All her friends felt that Charlie was unique, one in a

thousand, as indeed he was. Lily's reply was immediate and

genuine. 'Of course not! I've never even thought of any oneelse. I'm sure I could never marry again.'

Charlie was there in her thoughts whatever she was

doing. In the garden, the sunshine was bringing all the

beautiful spring flowers out and as she wandered along the

paths, tears filled her eyes as she looked at the wisteria and

magnolia. They were flowering better than ever before. It

had not been many years since she and Charlie had toiled to

plant everything in the empty garden. It seemed so cruel that

he could not see the beauty he had worked so hard to

achieve and somehow Lily could not enjoy the scene, as she

would have done, if they had been together.

Lily's life went on from day to day. Two men 'phoned

her regularly. One obviously concerned for her welfare, theother still seeking encouragement and re-assurance for

himself.


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She was so busy with callers and her many tasks,

some days never getting a proper meal until late in the

evening, that she did not feel particularly lonely until one

sunny Sunday when her friends were away. This day, 2OthMay, she felt she wanted to get away from the house and

take the dog for a good walk. Her broken arm and shoulder

were still very weak but she thought she could manage the

energetic terrier with her good arm. It was not to be. She had

only gone a short distance when a large Rottweiler dog rose

from under a bench outside a public house and flew at

'Lucky' without warning. Fearing for the little dog, Lilymade a grab for her harness, snatched her up and turned her

back on the Rottweiler, whose paws landed on her right

shoulder. The force of the dog's weight pushed her so that

she toppled off the pavement and fell on to a slowly moving

car.

Luckily the traffic was nose to tail, creeping bit by bit

towards the crossroads or she might have been killed. Theimpact jolted her damaged shoulder and left both dog and

owner shocked and frightened. Lily managed to recover

herself and, with tears flowing, she walked on, not knowing

or caring where she was going, trying to stem the tears and

regain control of herself. After a while she got her bearings

and made to walk towards home.

At last she reached the empty house. There was no

one to talk to, no one to help and no one to comfort herself

and the distressed dog. It was then that she realised how

utterly alone she felt. Charlie had been such a pillar of

strength in emergencies. She was still trembling slightly

from the shock as she sat in a chair to recover. The house

seemed so empty and the loneliness overcame her.A couple of days later, Lily still felt bruised but better

in spirits. Five days later, Michael called with his sister-in-


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law and they had a pleasant afternoon. This again cheered

her up but ever since the episode with the dog she had been

concerned about certain things. She was frightened to take

'Lucky' out again with only one good arm. She could not goto see her friends easily and now had no car. Her expenses

were rising beyond her means and, most of all, her

neighbours had commented critically on Michael's kindly

visits, while the man who had broadcast on the radio was

beginning to read more into her sympathy than she had

intended. She talked over her dilemma with a friend who

knew how her life was going. The friend recommended thatshe visited a medium, one to whom Lily was unknown. She

named a medium and then, later, sent the money for the

medium's fee.

Lily rang up to make an appointment, and on 1st June

she had a sitting with Grace Gooding, who tape recorded the

'reading' for her to study later on at her leisure. With Lily

sitting opposite to her and without asking her for anyinformation, the medium began to speak softly,

THERE IS A LOSS OF CONFIDENCE CAUSED

BY THE LOSS OF YOUR PARTNER. HE WAS YOUR

ROCK AND YOUR FOUNDATION HAS BEEN SWEPT

AWAY. MENTALLY YOU ARE SUFFERING A LOT OF

ONGOING STRESS AND THIS WILL TAKE A WHILE

TO IMPROVE. THERE IS A PHASE DESTINED HERE,

MATTERS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL - A STRONG

INDICATION OF A MOVE OF HOME. YOU WILL

HAVE TO THINK CAREFULLY AND MAKE A

DECISION IN AUGUST RELATING TO A HAPPENING

IN MARCH OF THE FOLLOWING YEAR, AND THEN

THERE WILL BE A STRAIGHT RUN FOR YOU.The gentle voice continued,

'I FEEL I CAN'T BREATHE; THERE'S BEEN A


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STRUGGLE FOR BREATH AND HE FELT SO TIRED

FIGHTING AGAINST IT. THEN A SENSE OF

UPLIFTMENT, NO SUFFERING, AND HE IS SAYING

HE IS ALL RIGHT AND YOU WILL BE ALSO!Lily watched Grace's face intently as her voice

continued,

I FEEL A LOVELY WARM GLOW FROM THIS

MAN AND A HEALING ABILITY. DID HE HAVE

SOMETHING WRONG WITH ONE HAND?

Yes. Lily replied.

HE IS SENDING BIRTHDAY GREETINGS ANDHE SAYS THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE YOUR

BIRTHDAY WAS OVERLOOKED BECAUSE OF THE

ACCIDENT. THERE IS A SENSE OF RELIEF NOW;

THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE COMING TO YOU. HE

SAYS THERE WILL BE FEWER TEARS NOW. HE HAS

SEEN YOU PICK UP HIS PHOTOGRAPH EVERY

NIGHT AND SAY 'GOODNIGHT' TO HIM. HE SAYSTHERE WILL BE AN ORCHID GIVEN TO YOU AND

AN OPPORTUNITY TO GROW THEM YOURSELF

AFTER A MOVE. I CAN SEE A TABLE WELL LAID.

YOU WILL BE COOKED FOR SOMETIMES. NEXT

YEAR, YOU WILL BE AMONG HEALERS AGAIN. HE

IS SAYING YOU WERE VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM

AND HE SHARES THE FLOWERS IN THE GARDEN

WITH YOU. DID HE OFTEN TELL YOU HE LOVED

YOU?

Every night, Lily replied.

HE IS SAYING HE SLIPPED AWAY WITHOUT

SAYING I LOVE YOU! 'DID HE HAVE TROUBLE

WITH A FOOT?'YES

'HE SAYS YOU WILL GET A LETTER FROM ACROSS


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WATER NEXT YEAR.

Grace then asked 'Do you have a problem?'

Yes, answered Lily. 'It's about two gentlemen I have

become friendly with. I am being made to feel guilty bypeople who knew Charlie. Is it too soon to become friendly

with other men? - And that is all it is!

Grace's soft voice went on,

WELL THERE WILL BE A LOT HAPPENING

VERY QUICKLY: YOU WILL HESITATE UNTIL YOU

HAVE A SIGN. THEN YOU WILL FEEL IT IS RIGHT, I

CAN SEE A SUICIDE AND IT'S RIGHT IN THEMIDDLE OF HAPPENINGS AT THE MOMENT. AN

INITIAL 'J' IS IMPORTANT. LIFE OPENS UP FOR YOU

IN AUGUST OF NEXT YEAR. DECEMBER WILL SEE

YOU IN A PEACEFUL PLACE WITH JASMINE

COVERING A WALL. THERE'S A LADY WHO WENT

OVER, HAVING COMMITTED SUICIDE BY TAKING A

LOT OF TABLETS. SHE IS SAYING, LOOK AFTERHIM PLEASE!

YOU WILL HAVE A CHAUFFEUR - NOT MUCH

THIS YEAR BUT MORE NEXT YEAR.' GRACE SAID

THAT ALL THE TIME SHE WAS GIVING LILY THE

READING SHE WAS HEARING LOVELY DEEP

LAUGHTER! LILY REMEMBERED HOW CHARLIE

WAS ALWAYS LAUGHING. HER FATHER HAD SAID,

IF HIS HEAD FELL OFF, HE WOULD STILL BE

LAUGHING!

Grace went on, DOES A REGISTRY OFFICE

MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

Well I married in one. Lily replied.

Only it's going to have significance again; verydefinitely another marriage, and whatever fears or

conscience you have, you would be wrong in not agreeing.


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Christmas next year will have seen a far better change for

you. I am getting an impression of travel across water. Does

Italy mean anything to you?

Yes, I have always wanted to go back there again, Lilyanswered.

WELL YOU WILL, WITHIN FIVE YEARS, AND

YOU WILL HAVE A SENSE OF SECURITY FOR THE

FIRST TIME FOR MANY YEARS. I SEE YOU

SURROUNDED BY LOVE AND WARMTH.

Lily wondered to herself, what on earth could be

coming next? Grace continued,I SEE A MAN, TALLER THAN YOU, WHO WAS

DARK WHEN YOUNG. HE IS SOFTLY SPOKEN BUT

DEFINITE AND HAS BEEN INTERESTED IN CARS.

THERE'S A LOT HAPPENING AROUND YOU. DON'T

HOLD BACK BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL CHARLIE

WOULD APPROVE. CHARLIE WANTED THINGS TO

BE RIGHT FOR YOU! THERE IS MUCH KINDNESSCOMING FROM HIM. LOSING HIM, IS A DOOR

THAT'S OPENING UP FOR YOU.

As her friend drove her home, Lily had much to think

about. She had not even considered marrying again.

Anyway, while Michael was obviously the tall softly spoken

man, she knew from his conversation that he already had

several lady friends who appeared to be very involved with

him. Also, she did not move in his circles, could not go to

the groups and meetings he attended, and had no way of

really getting to know him. The whole thing was too much

like, 'end of the pier' fortune telling. And yet, the evidence

from Charlie seemed correct in every detail, completely

convincing, exactly what she had hoped for. So, also, themessage from the lady who had committed suicide was

highly evidential. How should she respond to her request?


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She was already looking after him in a way and he was in

fact showing signs of becoming too attached to her. She

tried to dismiss the idea of marriage from her mind as quite

out of the question.At this season of the year, there was plenty to do in

the garden. She had quantities of fruit to pick and freeze, and

much watering to do in the large sloping garden. She had

many visitors for the garden was very attractive with dozens

of varieties of roses and other plants in bloom.

She heard nothing from Michael during this time but

had many calls from Brian, the other man, who arranged tocome and see her with his daughter. The initial J came

back into her mind. The daughter's name was Judy! She had

prepared a good meal and it was a pleasant visit. Before they

departed, Lily was asked if she would go and stay with

Brian and he added, You can do the cooking.

Although Lily promised to think about it, she could

see many problems. It would be a difficult journey, thirtymiles by public transport, with luggage and a dog, and just

as difficult to return again quickly, if she wanted to do so. If

she considered going it would look as though she was

prepared to develop the friendship further. It was true she

felt very sorry for the man. He couldn't get over his grief and

needed help so desperately. He seemed kindly and had

looked after his family. Certainly his daughter was

charming. Perhaps she could do some good, but her instinct

was telling her, No, its for the wrong reasons, it's not

wise.

At this point she had a visit from a man, Geoffrey, she

had known in a business way and who had always seemed

friendly. Now she was on her own, however, his attitude hadchanged. He stayed, persistently and she had a real job to get

him to go. His advances were all too obvious and quite


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uninvited, and she heartily wished him back with his nice

wife. It made her feel worried and vulnerable at being alone

in the world. She missed Michael calling in or 'phoning. It

confirmed her feeling that he had many other interestsbeside her.

Sunday July 15th was Charlie's birthday. Lily was

feeling very depressed, she was missing him so much. Then,

unexpectedly, Michael 'phoned and asked if he could bring a

friend to see her on the following afternoon and this cheered

her a little. She was able to go to her Church that evening,

and as she had particularly hoped, she was given a messagefrom Charlie. The medium, Ann Lambdon, from Exeter,

said:

HE SAYS AS QUICKLY AS HE WENT, SO HE

QUICKLY COMES BACK. HE HAD SEEN THE

FLOWERS BY HIS PHOTOGRAPH AND HE THANKS

YOU FOR THEM. YOU MEANT SO MUCH TO HIM. HE

SAYS, 'I'M FINE NOW, AND SENDS HIS LOVE!This message also cheered her, and she ended the day

in a much better frame of mind than she had started it. The

next day, she prepared for the visit by Michael and his

friend. The friend was a lady she had heard a good deal

about.

She knew that Michael had been entertained at her

very desirable house in an exclusive district, and he had

introduced her to some of his friends. Apparently she was

well known as a sculptor and writer and, in addition, was

very psychic. When they arrived, the lady was pleasant, well

spoken and elegant. She pronounced the tea and cakes to be

delicious and took a great interest in the house and Lily's

craftwork.All went well until the conversation turned to the fact

that Lily was still handicapped by her damaged arm. This


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provoked the lady, Angela, to say jokingly but pointedly:

You should get yourself a boy friend, as I have

done.

She saw Michael shoot a glance at Angela, shocked atthis unfeeling remark and what it probably implied.

Obviously he could see that Lily felt put in her place by the

visitor and he was annoyed.

Nothing more was said on the subject. The

atmosphere became strained, for Lily felt that after her

genuine welcome and hospitality, she had been clearly

warned off by this elegant lady. As they departed, shenoticed that the lady took Michael's arm possessively as they

went back to the car. She felt downcast and not a little angry

after they had gone. What was Michael thinking about the

incident she wondered, Was he, as the lady had implied, her

boy friend?

An hour later, the 'phone rang. It was Michael, very

friendly, full of thanks for her kindness. Without referringdirectly to the incident, he let it be known that Angela

already had a regular man friend and he was in no way

going to bring her to Mortonhampstead again. He described

a little of how she had been kind to him when he was first

widowed and Lily guessed that perhaps he had been a little

flattered by her interest at that time and pleased to talk to her

about his messages from Nancy.

After this call she was a little mollified but she felt

again that Michael had a wide circle of friends whom she

did not know and the mediums prophesy was very unlikely

to come true.


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CHAPTER SEVEN

A PRIVATE READING

In Spiritualist Churches it is arranged, as far as is

possible, that mediums taking part in the services shall be

visitors from other areas. This is to overcome the difficulty

that can arise, both for the medium and the receiver of the

message, when a member of the congregation is known

personally. When dealing with a stranger, the medium

knows that previous knowledge cannot distort the messagecoming into his or her mind, and there is the same

reassurance for the receiver. Mediums are rarely paid more

than their actual travelling expenses and, indeed, many

accept that they lose money by their work. A Church may

pay for petrol for a hundred mile round journey but they do

not, indeed often cannot, afford a payment to cover the real

cost of running a car and replacing it in due course.Some mediums will, however, offer to do 'Private

Readings' and share their fees with the Church. This helps

both sides to meet their expenses and, where the medium is

highly thought of, these private readings are in great

demand.

Some three months earlier, Michael had booked a

Private Reading with a medium from London, Josie Vale

Taylor, well known in Britain and Sweden. On 12th June he

sat opposite her with his tape recorder, in the Healing Room

at the Church. After an opening prayer, the medium said,

NANCY IS HERE. SHE SAYS SHE IS VERY

PLEASED THAT MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE

AROUND YOU. She says, WHATEVER MAKES HIMHAPPY, I SHALL BE HAPPY ALSO.

The medium continued, LATER ON, MICHAEL,


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I'M GOING TO SAY IT, I FEEL YOU COULD

REMARRY - IN FACT, I'M SURE YOU WILL. I'M

PICKING IT UP, BUT SHE IS ALSO TELLING ME, AND

SHE WOULD BE VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT. SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO FEEL, I WONDER IF NANCY

WOULD WANT ME TO DO IT? SHE IS TELLING YOU.

DON'T BE IN A HURRY TO DO IT YET! IT WILL

TAKE YOU TWELVE TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS TO

STABILISE YOURSELF. WHATEVER YOU WANT, MY

DARLING, IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. SHE ALSO

SAYS, YOU ARE MAKING A VERY GOOD JOB OFHOUSEKEEPING.

Michael was thrilled at the ease and directness of this

communication. Nancy had only passed over six months

ago, yet she was communicating so easily. He ventured to

ask a question. Has she met her sister Megan who died

recently?

The answer came at once, YES, SHE SAYS. IHAVE MET HER. AT THE MOMENT, SHE IS RESTING,

BECAUSE SHE NEEDS REST AND RECUPERATION,

SPIRITUAL RECUPERATION.

The medium went on, 'YOU KNOW I DON'T

THINK MEGAN WAS QUITE PREPARED FOR THE

AFTERLIFE IN THE SAME WAY AS YOUR WIFE

WAS. BECAUSE OF THIS SHE HAS HAD TO BE

TAKEN TO A SPHERE WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO

DON'T UNDERSTAND THE AFTERLIFE. THEY ARE

TAKEN FOR A PERIOD TO GET ADJUSTED, AND TO

BE TAUGHT THAT IT IS ONLY THE PHYSICAL BODY

THAT HAS GONE. NANCY IS SAYING, MEG WAS A

BIT BEWILDERED WHEN SHE CAME OVER,BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE

COULD SEE AND HEAR US. SHE COULDN'T


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UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS SEEING US IN THE

WAY WE WERE, LOOKING SO NORMAL.

(Michael knew Megan had been a devout, orthodox

Christian).YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU'RE GOING TO BRING

A LOT OF PEOPLE INTO THIS KNOWLEDGE AS A

RESULT OF HER PASSING. SHE SAYS, 'THEY ARE

ALREADY SAYING AND QUESTIONING IN THEIR

MINDS, WELL HOW IS IT HE IS TAKING IT SO

MARVELLOUSLY?

She's saying I WANT TO TALK TO HIM ABOUTHIS FINANCES. I DON'T WANT HIM TO PUT ALL HIS

EGGS IN ONE BASKET. SHE MEANS, YOU NEED TO

PUT IT IN DIFFERENT PLACES, NOT CONFINED TO

ONE PLACE.

(Michael, 'It's all in one building society.) SHE WANTS

YOU TO SPLIT IT UP AND KEEP IT IN THREE

PLACES. SHE IS SAYING THERE IS SOMEONE ELSEIN YOUR HOUSE, A MALE. SHE IS VERY PLEASED

ABOUT THIS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS YOU WILL BE

ABLE TO HELP HIM AND SHE WANTS HIM TO

MAKE THE TOP GRADE.

(Yes, my grandson Tim is living with me.)

She says, THIS IS SUCH A HAPPY OCCASION FOR

ME TO GET THIS CLOSE CONTACT WITH YOU. DO

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, GOD BLESS YOU. DON'T

BE SAD BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE SAD.

IF ANYTHING I SHALL BE CLOSER TO YOU NOW

THAN WHEN I WAS ON THE EARTH PLANE. She is

withdrawing now,' said the medium, ending a remarkable

sitting,To Michael the unselfish, loving, nature of Nancy was

perfectly displayed in this message. He took the advice at


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once about his finances. The question of remarriage was a

much bigger matter, to be considered carefully over a

period. In his experience, second marriages were not always

successful, Younger people were more flexible and able toadjust to each other, Many older people had become rigid in

their views and habits, unable to adapt to change. On the

other hand marriage could be a great teacher of tolerance

and people who had made one marriage work could

probably succeed with another, Nancy's message certainly

provided him with a new interest in life, but it gave him no

help in deciding who the lady was to be or what she wouldbe like. The field was wide open.

He thought Nancy's reference to his grandson was

interesting. On 10th December, just after Nancy's death,

Tim, who lived a quarter of a mile away, had asked if he

could come and live with him. As there were some problems

at home at the time, and Tim's adolescent moodiness was not

helping, Michael agreed to have Tim to live with him, and tohelp him with schoolwork for his forthcoming examinations.

As his house had thick walls, he also allowed Tim, who was

a drummer, to invite the rest of his group to practice and

rehearse in his living room, on one afternoon a week.

Michael's mind reverted to the marriage question. It

was true, he thought, that he had always liked being married,

He remembered the first few blissful years of their marriage

when, after the separation of war time, simply to be together

was happiness enough. He was used to living with a woman,

caring for a woman, and being cared for. Lately he had

found himself being more and more attracted to women and

several appeared to be attracted to him. Until now he had

thought of himself as an elderly man, now widowed, andquite on the shelf. He had already noticed, to his surprise,

that a few ladies seemed to think of him as a possible suitor.


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He sometimes received warm smiles from women he hardly

knew as he passed them in the street. He had never really

liked his own appearance, yet he had overheard someone say

they thought he was good looking. But, if he was to marry,who was it to be? And, would it be a success?

On June 25th he had a short message from Nancy through

Marian. It said,

YOU WILL MARRY WITHIN 18 MONTHS.

He always told his friends in the meditation group

about Nancy's messages and he received some good-natured

teasing. Can you still remember your courtship routine,Michael? 'How does it feel to have a licence to go courting?

and, 'You'll have to start a social diary,' were a few of the

good-humoured remarks that greeted his latest news.

The remark about his housekeeping particularly

pleased him, knowing that Nancy appreciated his hard work,

and he also needed to keep everything ship-shape as an

example to young Tim who was an enterprising cook but areluctant washer-up.

One night, Michael decided to try automatic writing

as a method of communication with the spirit world and,

hopefully, with Nancy. He had watched a friend do it and he

had read of the well known case of Stainton Moses, who,

while a spirit controlled his right hand to write teachings in

perfect English, was able at the same time to use his other

hand to hold the book he was reading or to solve

mathematical puzzles. Michael's attempt failed. Perhaps he

did not have the gift or the patience required. After a

fruitless twenty-five minutes, he wrote on his pad,

'Nancy! I wish I knew what you are doing and what

you are learning'. He left the pad on his desk and went tomake a cup of tea and feed the dog.

He had arranged, the next evening, to go to the home


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of John and Audrey Wagstaffe, where he and Nancy had

been part of a meditation circle, some years before, His two

friends were waiting for him to arrive to give him a message

received from Nancy by a third member of the old circlewho had passed it to them that morning. The third member

was Janet Horton, who had a hairdressing business. She was

a natural medium and often gave Audrey a message as she

was doing her hair. This message was obviously in answer

to Michael's request of the previous evening. It said,

NANCY IS LEARNING TO HELP PEOPLE WHO

COME OVER ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL. THIS IS HERPRESENT WORK!

Michael had heard that the receiving and caring for

those who come over from physical life, was a massive on-

going task. With ten thousand people passing over each

week, in England and Wales alone, there was a constant

need for willing helpers to receive and counsel newcomers

from the earthly life. So this was Nancy's present work, or atleast a part of it. His next message from Nancy also came

from Janet Horton, by the same route. It simply said,

'STAY WELL! BE STRONG! YOU HAVE A LOT

OF WORK TO DO YET!'

In spite of constant activity and a pleasant social life

with like-minded friends, Michael still had low days. He still

could not bear to look in his diary at the date 30th

November, when he had entered, Nancy passed today at l

a.m. Finding a lost shoe or a glove of hers still brought, the

instant, immediate, shock to the heart, the feeling of loss.

Nancy seems to have known this for he had a message from

a Staffordshire medium, Kathy Jones, which said,

SHE TAKES YOUR HAND BECAUSE, DURINGHER LAST THREE DAYS, YOU HELD HER HAND

AND THIS MEANT AN AWFUL LOT TO HER AND


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GAVE HER THE STRENGTH TO GO ON. SHE NOW

TAKES YOUR HAND TO GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH

TO GO ON.

This message was so evidential and so comforting thatMichael's spirits lifted and he never really sank into

depression again. As they had been quite alone when he laid

on the bed holding her hand; no one but Nancy knew about

it.

8/14/2019 THROUGH B

THROUGH BEREAVEMENT TO HAPPINESS

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