The Tapestry of Friendship

Ellen Goodman

Lectured by Wen Lanfang

Arrangement ( 4 periods/8 hours)

Background information( discussion) 1) What’s friendship? 2) What can friendship give? 3) What makes a good friendship? 4) What’s the kinds of friendship? 5) appreciation of different friendship

Structure analysis of the text Detailed study of the text questions to comprehension

difficult language points Supplementary reading After-class reading and discussion

What’s friendship?

F: Friendly R: Respect I: Integrity E: Encouraging N: Nice D: Diversity S: Sincerity H: Helpful I: Individual P: Politeness

Respect

Always treating people the way you would want them to treat you.

FriendlyA Friendly person should

always smile and say hello when greeting other people.

Integrity

Doing something good for someone when no one is looking.

Encouraging

Always lift up your friends spirits with positive words and actions.

Nice

Always being courteous, pleasant, and never misbehave.

Diversity

Always respect others differences: gender, abilities, culture, race, and ethnicity

Sincerity

Always speak and act genuinely.

Helpful

You should assist others when they are in need.

Individual

Do not be a follower. Do not sacrifice character.

Politeness

Always show consideration for others.

In conclusion, be FRIENDLY, treat each other with RESPECT, act with INTEGRITY, be ENCOURAGING, be NICE, encourage DIVERSITY, act with SINCERITY, be HELPFUL, be an INDIVIDUAL, and show POLITENESS.

Then, you will have

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P.

What can friendships give?FunWays To Share FeelingsLearn New SkillsFind Understanding and SupportWays To Feel Needed And UsefulYou Can Be Yourself

What Makes A Good Friendship?

Shared Interests

Shared ValuesTrustHonestyRespectCooperation

ReliabilitySupportUnderstandingSensitivityForgivenessTolerance

How to make friends?Go where people are most friends

you make who have the same interests you do.

Be a friend to yourself- don’t put yourself down.

Be cheerful- smile, don’t always wait for the other person to speak first.

Be yourself- no one is perfect. Your friends won’t expect you to be, so it is best to just be yourself.

Don’t expect perfection in your friends -like you, your friends will make mistakes now and then. Laugh with them about it, but don’t put them down.

Friendship is give and take- friendship is sharing things like feelings, plans, and dreams. To make and keep a friend, you have to give as well as take. Learn to compromise.

Realize you will sometimes disagree with your friend- nobody agrees all the time. Disagreements don’t have to mean the end of a relationship.

Give your friend space- almost everyone likes to be alone sometime. Give your friend space to have other friends, too.

Be choosy about your friends- real friends will not ask you to do things that are harmful and against the law.

Let people know that you are interested in them. Don’t just talk about yourself; ask questions about them.

So----- TO HAVE A FRIEND…BE A FRIEND! Remember the Golden Rule of

Friendship…TREAT OTHERS AS YOU’D LIKE TO BE TREATED!

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, A FRIENDSHIP IS WAITING TO START!

International Friendship Day August 6 is International Friendship Day for 2006,

time to recognize your friends and their contribution to your life. Friendship helps to bring peace and positively to the globe - a great reason to celebrate!

Friendship Day occurs on the first Sunday of August - only once a year - so make the most of it! :) Friends come in many shapes, sizes and guises: school friends, work colleagues, siblings, partners, parents, pets and neighbors. Pull out all the stops and let your friends know they are truly appreciated!

http://www.friendship.com.au/friendday.html

Appreciation of friendship

友谊地久天长Westlife

seasons in the sun

The kinds of friendships

Same Gender

Male-female

Group

Friendship between male and female

Warm-up questions

What’s your standard when you choose friends?

Do you think there are real friendship between men and women?

Please do the translation in page 73

Friendship between Women

A woman didn‘t come home one night.  The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend’s house.  Then man called his wife's 10 best friends.  None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men

A man didn‘t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he slept over at a buddy's house.  The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.  Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there!

GENDER PATTERNS IN FRIENDSHIPS

Women's Friendships Men's Friendships Friendships Between Men and

Women Gender Patterns in Friendships

Between People With and Without Disabilities

After-class reading

Life is like an echo. What you give is what you will get. What you send is what you will receive.

About the author

Ellen Goodman She is an American

original. Her abundant talents--intellect, wit, style, news judgment--set her apart with an élan uniquely her own. Her Pulitzer Prize winning commentary appears in more than 375 newspapers.

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/goodman/ Ellen Goodman, is a Boston Globe

Online columnist and a stylish writer with a humanizing touch on any issue, public or personal. She is widely acclaimed as a voice of sanity, and readers depend on her to help them make sense of their changing lives and relationships.

About the text

This text is taken from Close to Home, which was published by The Boston Globe Company / Washington Post Writers Group in 1979.

This text distinguishes two kinds of friendship: that between men and that between women. It can be divided into four parts.

Part I paragraph 1-2

In this part the author reveals what kind of film the woman had just seen and what attitude she had to it.

What kind of film did the woman see? What did she think of it?

Part II paragraph 3-6

This part describes the woman’s observation of the shift of focus of the cinema and advances the argument for the distinction between the two types of friendship: that between men and that between women.

Why does the author list the movies the woman had seen?

What led the woman to think that the cinema has drastically shifted its focus?

What was the shift? Do you agree on the point of the

distinction between the two types of friendship? Give your own reasons.

Part III paragraph 7-18

This part discusses in detail the distinctions between the Male Buddiness and the Female Friendship.

Generally speaking, the former is action-oriented while the latter is emotion-oriented, i. e., the Male Buddiness is based on the need for co-operation in the activities that men are engaged in or in the adverse situations they are confronted with. In contrast, the Female Friendship borders on love, the need for mutual emotional support.

What’s the fundamental difference between buddies and friends?

What are the conditions of men becoming buddies and of women becoming friends?

Why was the woman shocked by men’s description of friendship?

Part IV paragraph 19

This part is the Conclusion of the text, which restates the distinction between the two types of friendship. What ways do buddies and friends differ? Buddies are those you can do things together with in your lifetime, but friends are those with whom you can share roses and thorns in your life.

Language Work

It was, in many ways, a slight movie. : In many aspects it was a simple, ordinary movie.

big-budget chase scene: a car-chase scene that costs a lot of money

cosmic:

1) very great This earthquake was a disaster of

cosmic scale. 2) relating to the universe The other great cosmic reality is time. What happens in their lives is influenced

by ~ forces.

Slowly, it panned across the tapestry of friendship:

Step by step it gave an all-sided view of the complex structure of friendship…

tapestry

Tapestry

A heavy cloth woven with rich, often varicolored designs or scenes, usually hung on walls for decoration and sometimes used to cover furniture.

tapestry carpet 用染色经线织成图案的地毯 tapestry satin 织锦缎 Something felt to resemble a richly and

complexly designed cloth: the tapestry of world history.

Budget

a family budget 家庭收支预算

budget plan 分期付款

You have a budget of letters on your desk.

在你的桌子上有一大堆信件。

Vt. budget one‘s time 安排自己的时间

vi. budget for the project 为工程编制预算

Adj. a budget dress 廉价的服装

drastic

adj. a drastic remedy 烈性的药物

take drastic measures 采取果断措施 [ 激烈手段 ]

drastic purgatives 猛 泻药

a drastic debate 激烈的辩论

make drastic change 做彻底的改变

Flick: crack flip jerk snap strike

By a flick of his whip, he drove the fly from the horse's head.

他用鞭子轻抽了一下 , 将马头上的苍蝇驱走。

He flicked at the spot with a napkin. 他用餐巾轻轻 擦了一下这块斑迹。

to flick the switch 轻轻地按开关

He hit the ball with just a flick of the wrist.

＂他只用手腕轻轻一抖，打出了那个球。＂

He turns the pancake over with a strong flick of his wrist.

他一抖腕子就把饼翻过来了。

He swished off the tops of the grasses with a flick of his cane.

他用藤条轻轻地打掉了草尖。

By a flick of his whip, he drove the fly from the horse's head.

他用鞭子轻抽了一下，将马头上的苍蝇驱走。

Hair flicking

Trendy:

trendy clothes. Look at that trendy couple - kitted up all

the latest gear! 瞧那对时髦夫妇，打扮多么入时。 The trendy rock group is only a flash - in

- the - pan. 这个新潮摇滚乐队只是昙花一现。

Regional stereotypes have been part of America since its founding. Westerners are trendy, Mid-westerners are dull, Northeasterners are brainy, and Southerners are lazy. (Brad Edmondson)

地区性旧习自从美国确立起就成为它的一部分…西部人时髦，中西部人木讷，东北部人机智，南方人懒惰 ( 布拉德 · 埃德蒙森 )

casual trendy formal

Binge

A drunken spree or revel. – A period of unrestrained, immoderate self-

indulgence. – A period of excessive or uncontrolled

indulgence in food or drink: an eating binge. To be immoderately self-indulgent and unrestrained:

“The story is like a fever dream that a disturbed and imaginative city-dweller might have after binging on comics” (Lloyd Rose).

To engage in excessive or uncontrolled indulgence in food or drink.

Binge on drink

a week-end binge 周末狂饮

a shopping binge 抢购

a gambling binge 嗜赌狂；

An eating binge 暴食

an orgy of spending 无节制消费

They went on a binge last night. 他们昨夜出去狂饮作乐。

across millions of miles of celluloid .: in large numbers of movies

Cull: choose from various sources Here are a few facts and figures I’ve

culled from the week’s papers. It’s a collection of fascinating stories

culled from a lifetime of experience.

Primal/ attachment

Primal: Money was a primal necessity to them.

对于他们 , 钱是主要的需要。

attachment: an attachment to one's motherland 对祖国的忠诚

the attachments of a bicycle 自行车的零件

Adversity

affliction disaster distress grief hardship misfortune trouble

n. Mr. Huang has been a good friend to me in adversity or in prosperity.

不管我处于逆境还是顺境 , 黄先生一直是我的好友。 A friend is known in adversity. 在患难之中才能看出 ( 真假 ) 朋友。

A-is a good discipline A-is a great schoolmaster. .[ 谚 ] 逆境是锻炼人的最好场所。

A-makes strange bedfellows. [ 谚 ] 难中不择友 , 饥不择食。 A-acquaints men with strange

bedfellows. Palpable: a palpable mistake 明显的错误 palpable results 具体可见的成果

confidence

a vote of confidence 信任投票

confidence in currency 对货币的信任

business confidence 经营信心

I'm telling you this in strict confidence. 我告诉你此事系绝密。

She lacks confidence in herself. 她缺乏自信心。

We have full confidence that we shall succeed.

我们完全有把握取得成功。

He has the confidence to deny it. 他竟有胆量否认它。

with (great) confidence 很有把握地， 满怀信心地

Restraint: incitement

His rage was beyond restraint. 他怒不可遏。

I am under no restraint whatever. 我不受任何束缚。

restraint of trade 贸易限制

restraint on export and import 限制进出口

Grievance

The trade union leader spoke about the grievances of the workers.

工会领袖述说工人们的苦情。

have a grievance against sb.

怀恨某人 ; 对 ... 心怀不满 pour out grievance 诉苦

inherit

only men… inherited a primal capacity for friendship: only when… were born with the instinctive capacity of making friends.

inherit:

1)receive (money, a house etc.) from someone after they have died

When I took on the job of manager, I inherited certain financial problems.

2)  be born with (a physical or mental quality that a parent, grandparent or other relative has)

Rosie inherited her red hair from her mother. The child has an inherited disease which

attacks the immune system.

“through the wars: together — corporate or athletic or military: through the commercial, athletic or military strives together.

They had to soldier together: had to struggle together

The only relationship that gave meaning to the claustrophobic life of George Babbitt had been with Paul Riesling.

What made the claustrophobic life of George Babbitt meaningful had been his relationship with Paul Riesling; without his relationship with Paul Riesling George Babbitt would have found his claustrophobic life meaningless.

Structural Analysis

In the text the author discusses the differences between a buddy and a friend in a forceful way. We can summarize the author’s viewpoint with the following sentence: A buddy is a fine life-companion but a friend is that part the race with which you can be human.

The more specific differences between a buddy and a friend are:

1.  Buddies bonded, but friends loved. 2. Buddies faced adversity together,

but friends faced each other. 3. Buddies seemed to “do” things

together; friends simply “were” together.

Rhetorical Features

To show the differences between buddiness and friendship effectively, the author of the text coordinates sentences in various ways. Sometimes he uses conjunctions such as but, yet and while. And sometimes he simply puts two clauses together without using any conjunction at all.

For example: 1) Buddies bonded, but friends loved. 2) Buddies faced adversity together, but

friends faced each other. 3)Men affect each other in the reflection

of noble or friendly acts, whilst women ask fewer proofs and more signs and expressions of attachment.

4) Men often keep their buddies in these categories while women keep a special category for friends.

proverbs

I cannot be your friend and your flatterer too.朋友不能阿谀奉承。

Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.近朱者赤，近墨者黑。 Life without a friend is death.没有朋友，虽生犹死。

He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.背后说好话，才是真朋友。

Everything is good when new, but friends when old.东西是新的好，朋友是老的亲。 Friends agree best at distance.朋友之间也会保持距离。 Friends are thieves of time.朋友是时间的窃贼。 Friends must part.再好的朋友也有分手的时候。

Birds of a feather flock together.物以类聚，人以群分。

Books and friends should be few but good.读书如交友，应求少而精。

Choose an author as you choose a friend.择书如择友。

Even reckoning makes long friends.亲兄弟，明算账。

A good book is a good friend.好书如挚友。 A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.一本好书，相伴一生。 hedge between keeps friendship green.君子之交淡如水。 A joke never gains an enemy but loses a friend.戏谑不能化敌为友，只能使人失去朋友。 A man is known by his friends.什么人交什么朋友。

A friend in need is a friend indeed.患难见真情。 A friend is easier lost than found.得朋友难，失朋友易。 A friend is never known till a man has need.需要之时方知友。 A friend without faults will never be found.没有十全十美的朋友。

Friendship( 超链接）

Snoopy’s friendship My friend

Children friendship

Of friendship (Bacon)