The Secrets to Learning NLP by Lloyd Johnson v2

!

A"Quick"Note"on""Piracy""

My!primary!goal!for!this!book!is!to!share!knowledge!and!to!make!your!life!better.!Honestly.!It!is!very!much!a!secondary!

goal!of!this!to!book!to!generate!any!income.!!

If" you" bought" this" book" from" me:! Thank! you! for!supporting! my! work!! Your! purchase! motivates! me! to!continue! producing! information! like! this.! Every! book! sold!means! something! to!me,! every! sale! signifies! one! additional!person! that! has! been! introduced! to! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming.!!

Please!feel!free!to!share!this!book!with!your!friends.!

!

If" you" did" not" buy" this" book:! I! hope! that! you! enjoy! this!book!and!that! it!makes!a!difference!in!your! life.! If!you!get!a!lot!out!of!it,!and!can!afford!it,!please!consider!paying!for!the!book!retrospectively!by!buying!a!physical!or!electronic!copy!from!www.confidentfuture.com.au! and! going! on! to! share! it!with!your!friends.!

! !

!

"Everything,we're,going,to,tell,you,here,is,a,lie.,,

All,generalizations,are,lies.,Since,we,have,no,

claim,on,truth,or,accuracy,,we,will,be,lying,

consistently,through,this,seminar.,,

There,are,only,two,differences,between,us,and,

other,teachers:,One,is,that,we,announce,at,the,

beginning,of,our,seminars,that,everything,we,

say,will,be,a,lie,,and,other,teachers,do,not.,Most,

of,them,believe,their,lies.,They,don't,realize,that,

they,are,made,up.,,

The,other,difference,is,that,most,of,our,lies,will,

work,out,really,well,if,you,act,as,if,they,are,true.",

B!Richard!Bandler,!CoBFounder!of!NLP!

!

Table&of&Contents&

Introduction! 1!What!is!NLP?! 2!History!of!NLP! 4!What!to!Learn!First! 10!Technique!1:!Sensory!Acuity! 13!Technique!2:!Rapport! 17!Technique!3:!Anchoring! 27!Technique!4:!Milton!Model! 35!Technique!5:!Meta!Model! 62!Technique!6:!Modelling! 79!Teaching!Yourself!NLP! 84!The!Learning!Process! 90!Learning!With!Others! 95!Gaining!Experience! 100!NLP!Training!Options! 105!A!word!of!warning...! 119!About!the!Author! 121!!

The,Secrets,to,Learning,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming

B!1!B

Introduction&!

When! I! first! heard! about! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming! (NLP)!my! initial! impulse!was! to!dismiss!it.!The!people!that!I!met!who!were!talking!so!highly!of!it!were! rarely! the! sort! of! people! I! wanted! to! emulate.!They! talked!about! learning!how! the!mind!worked!and!taking! charge! of! your! results,! but! I! didn't! really!understand! what! they! were! going! on! about.! Yet,! now!here!I!am,!writing!a!book!about!The!Secrets!of!Learning!NLP.! ! And! you! may! be! wondering! what! must! have!changed!for!me!to!go!from!that!point!of!zero!knowledge!about!NLP,!all! the!way!through!to!absolute! fascination!and!dedicating!myself!to!sharing!it!with!others.!

When! I! first! heard! about! NLP,! my! problem! was! that!nobody!really!explained!it!to!me!so!I!didn't!understand!what!NLP!was.!There!are!loads!of!definitions!out!there!and!lots!of!explanations!about!how!it!can!help!you,!but!what!I!really!cared!about!was!what!was!in!it!for!me.!!It!wasn't!until!one!New!Year’s!Eve!that! I! truly! 'got'!what!was! in! it! for! me.! From! that! point! forward,! learning!about! NLP! didn't! just! become! easy! and! effortless,! it!almost!became!an!obsession.!!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!2!B

What&is&NLP?&!

NLP,! or! NeuroBLingustic! Programming,! is! such! a!wide!field!of!study!that!it!can!be!hard!to!define!simply.!NLP!is!a! way! of! thinking! about! ideas! and! people! that! allows!you! to!excel! in!any! field.!The!basic!premise! is! that!we!can! study! people! who! are! getting! great! results,! and!reduce! their! behaviours!down! to! a!model,! or! the!bare!minimum!required,!which!enables!them!to!consistently!get! their! results.! This! model! can! then! be! taught! and!shared.! It! allows! others! to! replicate! the! same! results!very!quickly.!For!this!reason,!NLP!is!often!called!“the!art!and!science!of!personal!excellence”.!

NLP!is!a!practical!skill! that!results!from!studying!what!makes! the! difference! between! excellence! and! average.!Through!the!pursuit!of!excellence,!NLP!leaves!behind!a!trail!of!highly!effective! techniques!with!applications! in!business,! therapy,! education! and!beyond.! ! At! the!nitty!gritty!level,!NLP!draws!on!general!semantics,!linguistics!and!other!techniques!like!hypnosis,!gestalt!therapy!and!family!therapy.!!So!really,!NLP!is!a!study!of!‘what!works’!and!the!study!of!how!you!produce!results.!

NeuroBLingustic!Programming!can!be!broken!down!into!three!core!parts:!


B!3!B

Neuro! relates! to! the! nervous! system! (the! mind),!through!which!our!experience!is!processed!via!the!five!senses! of! visual,! auditory,! kinesthetic,! olfactory! and!gustatory!(sight,!hearing,!touch,!smell!and!taste).!These!five!senses!are!the! inputs! into!our!nervous!system!and!the! sources! that! we! rely! upon! to! build! our! internal!experience.!

Lingustic! relates! to! language! and! other! nonBverbal!communication! systems! through! which! our! neural!representations!are!coded,!ordered!and!given!meaning.!!This! includes! pictures,! sounds,! feelings,! tastes,! smells!and!words!(self!talk).!

Programming" relates! to! how! the! structure! and!sequence!of!our!thoughts!will!lead!to!a!predictable!and!reliable!outcome.!

In"other"words,"NLP"is"how"to"use"the"language"of"the"mind"to"consistently"achieve"our"specific"and"

desired"outcomes."

&

Lloyd!Johnson

B!4!B

History&of&NLP&!

NLP!is!fairly!young,!!having!only!been!established!in!the!1970s.!The! fundamentals! that!allowed!for! the!creation!of!NLP,!however,!began!long,!long!before!that.!

In! 1943,!Alfred!Korzybski!wrote! a! book! called!Science,and, Sanity! that! discussed! the! idea! of! Logical! Levels.!Korzybski!said!something!really!interesting!in!his!book.!It! was,! “Almost! all! psychological! problems! were! the!result! of! the! inability! of! a! person! to! traverse! logical!levels”.! That’s! interesting! because! he! suggested! that!sometime! in! the! future! there! would! be! a! wholly!processed! description! of! the! human! being! that! would!come! along! and! actually! describe! the! processes! of! a!human! being.! ! That! is! what! we! today! call! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming.!

During! the! 1970s,! Richard! Bandler! and! Frank! Pucelik!became! friends! at! the! University! of! California! Santa!Cruz,!even!though!neither!of!them!were!students!there.!Bandler!and!Pucelik!were!both!personally!motivated!to!heal! themselves! of! their! less! than! pleasant! pasts.! On!their!own!personal! journeys! they!became!masterful!at!Gestalt! Therapy! (a! form! of! psychotherapy)! just! by!observing!and!copying…!or!Modelling…!the!behaviours!of! Fritz! Perls,! the! founder! of! Gestalt! Therapy.! As! they!


B!5!B

began! to! move! forward! and! use! the! things! they! had!learnt! Bandler! and! Pucelik! realised! that! they! had! a!specific! gift!of!Modelling!–!being!able! to!observe!what!worked!and!then!create!something!out!of!it.!They!began!to! practice! Gestalt! Therapy! in! the! classrooms! at! the!University!of!California!Santa!Cruz!and!their!work!came!to! the! attention! of! John! Grinder,! a! Professor! of!Linguistics.!

Grinder! initially! just! observed! their! work,! but! after!watching! them!for!a! few!weeks,!he! introduced!himself!and!asked!them!if!they!knew!how!what!they!were!doing!was!working.! ! Grinder! understood! and! could! describe!the!structure!behind!what!they!were!doing,!that! led!to!their!results.! ! !Prior! to!working!with!him,!Bandler!and!Pucelik!did!not!quite!know!why!their!methods!worked.!They! had! merely! become! great! modellers.! ! With! the!help! of!Grinder’s! linguistics! expertise,! ! they!were! able!to!more! fully!understand! the! science!behind! it.!Before!long!the!three!men!were!working!together!on!what!was!then!called!“Meta”.!

What!followed!were!years,!about!seven!years!in!total,!of!experimentation,! testing! and! Modelling.! The! initial!group! worked! really! hard,! in! return! for! no! financial!gain,!just!studying!Meta!because!it!interested!them!and!because!they!wanted!to!see!how!far!they!could!take!it.!After!several!years! there!was!a!disagreement!between!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!6!B

Bandler!and!Pucelik!that!lead!to!Pucelik!going!his!own!way.!Bandler!and!Grinder!later!changed!the!name!Meta!to!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming.! It!wasn't!until! it!got!its! new! name! that! it! really! started! to! become! widely!known.!!

Following! the! change! of! name! to! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!a!new!group!was!attracted!to!pushing!the!envelope! of! what! was! possible.! Accounts! of! the! early!days! are! largely! anecdotal! and! differ! from! source! to!source,! though! it! is! undeniable! that! Bandler! and!Grinder!were! joined!by!a!group!of!others!who!were!to!take! NLP! to! the! world.! ! Each! and! every! one! of! these!people! was! looking! for! ways! to! add! to! the! field,! to!develop! the! field! further! and! to! ultimately! discover!what!it!is!that!makes!amazing!results!possible.!

This!is!the!foundation!of!NLP!and!where!the!idea!of!NLP!being!a!notion!and!a!methodology!comes!from;!the!idea!of!actually!being!able!to!look!and!see!what!is!excellent!behaviour!and!figure!out!how!that!excellent!behaviour!is!produced.!It!starts!with!a!simple!question:!How!do!I!take!that!behaviour!and!how!do!I!try!that!on!myself!so!that!I!can!get!the!same!results?!NLP!begins!as!a!notion!and! a!methodology! that! leaves! behind! a! trail! of! great!techniques!for!achieving!excellence.!

To! begin! with,! the! three! major! people! that! they!modelled!were!Milton!Erickson,!Virginia!Satir!and!Fritz!


B!7!B

Perls.!These!three!were!chosen!as!they!were!experts!in!magically!creating!change!in!people!by!simply!using!the!right! words.! And! that! is! what! NLP! is! about,! studying!excellence! so! you! can! reproduce! the! results.! It! begins!with! an! attitude! of! curiosity! to! find! out! how! they! do!what! they!do.!When!we!use!NLP!and! look!at! a!human!being,!we! look! at! that! human!being!with!wonderment!and! we! ask! ourselves,! “How! is! it! possible! that! this!person! in! this! circumstance! could! produce! this!behaviour?”! The! second! thing,!which! could! be! equally!as! important! as! curiosity,! is! the! willingness! to!experiment,!to!begin!to!try!new!things!to!see!if!they!are!going!to!work.!

As!Bandler!and!Grinder’s!notes!began!to!stack!up!they!released!their!first!two!books!in!1975:!

B The!Structure!of!Magic!I:!A!Book!About!Language!and!Therapy;!and!

B The!Structure!of!Magic!II:!A!Book!About!Communication!and!Change.!

These! books! contain! the! basis! of! the! Meta! Model,! a!model!of!communication!that!works!by!becoming!more!specific! and! removing!Generalisations,!Distortions!and!Deletions! from! people's! language! and! thoughts.! This!work!was! primarily! derived! from! their! study! of! Perls!and!Satir.!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!8!B

Following! these! two! books! both! Bandler! and! Grinder!studied! Milton! Erickson,! arguably! the! best!hypnotherapist!of!our!time,!and!from!their!study!of!his!work! they! published! Patterns! of! the! Hypnotic!Techniques!of!Milton!H.!Erickson,!Volumes!I!&!II.!These!books!contained!the!basis!of!the!Milton!Model,!a!model!of!communication!that!works!by!becoming!more!vague!and! introducing! generalisations,! distortions! and!deletions! into! people’s! language! and! thoughts.!Interestingly,! the!Milton!Model! is! almost! the! complete!opposite! of! the! Meta! Model! –! but! both! get! reliable!results.!

Ultimately,! the! Meta! Model! &! Milton! Model! serve! to!prove! Alfred! Korzybski! correct! –! by! traversing! logical!levels!it!is!possible!for!problems!to!just!disappear.!

These!models!were! just! the! tip! of! the! iceberg! though.!From! Bandler! and! Grinder’s! studies! of! these! three!therapists,! a! whole! field! of! information! was! created.!Beyond! these! models! they! started! documenting! new!techniques! and! ideas! such! as! anchoring,! reframing,!submodalities,! perceptual! positions,! and!representational! systems.! As! the! usefulness! of! the!techniques! began! to! gain! a! following,!more! and!more!resources! such! as! books! and! seminars! began! to! be!produced.! From! the!work! of!Bandler!&!Grinder! in! the!1970s! and! the! books! that! they! have! published,! both!


B!9!B

together!and!individually,!NLP!now!has!a!huge!body!of!knowledge! behind! it! from! many,! many! different!authors.!

Today!NLP!is!widely!accepted!in!countries!all!over!the!world! as! a! set! of! tools! for! producing! reliable! results.!This! methodology! started! to! become! immensely!popular!in!the!1980s!and!1990s!with!huge!personalities!like! Anthony! Robbins! using! it! to! help! thousands! of!people! make! lasting! changes! in! their! lives.! ! As! our!awareness! as! a! society! increases! around! the!importance! of! self! responsibility! and! personal!empowerment,!these!tools!become!more!applicable!and!accessible!every!day.!!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!10!B

What&to&Learn&First&!

Each! and! every! technique! and! theory! in! NLP! has!applicability!in!our!everyday!lives.!!Because!it!has!been!modelled! from! some!of! the!most! successful! therapists!to!ever!live,!the!results!speak!for!themselves.!!What!you!would!be!looking!to!focus!on!when!first!learning!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!will!vary!widely!based!on!your!motivation!for!it.!Regardless!of!whether!you!plan!to!use!your! new! skills! in! a! therapy,! business! or! educational!context,! there! are! several! concepts! that! form! the!foundation!you!will!need!before!you!can!effectively!use!the!other!NLP! tools!and! techniques.!The! focus! for! this!book!is!on!the!following!six!!areas:!

1.!Sensory!Acuity 2.!Rapport 3.!Anchoring 4.!Milton!Model 5.!Meta!Model 6.!Modelling!

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B!11!B

Sensory! Acuity! is! essential! for! becoming! a! good!!communicator!and! for!becoming!good!at!NLP.! It! is! the!ability! to! detect! changes! in! other! people! by! becoming!more! aware! of! or! calibrated! to! slight! changes! in! the!other!person.!!This!gives!us!clues!as!to!what!is!going!on!inside!the!other!person's!mind.!Rapport!is!being!in!sync!with! the! person;! a! process! of! responsiveness! that! is!invaluable! in! therapy,! business! and! personal! settings.!When! you! have! good! Rapport! with! others! it! will! also!make!nearly!all!NLP!processes!much!easier!and!faster.!!

Anchoring! is! a! powerful! tool! to! making! fast! and!meaningful! changes! by! accessing! desirable! states!within! yourself! and! in! others! at!will.! ! The!Milton! and!!Meta! Models! are! the! language! patterns! that! make!powerful! conversational! change! easy! and! effortless.!Modelling!is!the!pattern!from!which!all!of!NLP!has!been!created!and,!once!perfected,!will!give!you!the!ability!to!replicate!any!behaviour!you!would!like!to!perform,!thus!producing!the!same!results.!

This! is! your! lucky! day! because! this! book! includes! six!chapters! devoted! to! giving! you! the! basics! of! each! of!these!key!areas.!Not!only!is!there!a!chapter!devoted!to!each!area!but!there!are!also!activities!that!you!can!do!to!start!building!your! skills.!Each! chapter! also! contains!a!list!of!relevant!books!that!are!worth!reading!for!further!information.!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!12!B

When! you! master! these! six! techniques! you! will! be! a!long! way! towards! using! NLP! competently! in! therapy!and!business,!and! in!your!everyday! life.! !The! language!patterns! of! the! Milton! and! Meta! Model! are! especially!powerful.!

What!is!contained!in!this!short!book!is!by!no!means!all!there!is!to!know!on!each!topic,!in!fact!entire!books!exist!on! each! of! these! techniques! alone.! The! information! is!provided! so! that! you!will! be! confident! enough! to! take!action!now.! !The!practical!NLP!exercises!will! give! you!the!opportunity!to!apply!the!techniques,!!so!that!by!the!end!of!this!book!you!will!have!a!really!solid!idea!of!how!to!use!what!you!have!learned!in!a!practical!way!in!your!own!life,!how!to!use!it!to!affect!change!in!others’! lives,!and!how!to!continue!your!learning!if!desired.!!!

So!do! yourself! a! favour:!Treat! this! information! afresh,!stay! curious,! and! give! yourself! every! opportunity! to!practice!what!you!read.!!!

!!


B!13!B

Technique&1:&Sensory&Acuity&&&

In! Modelling,! Milton! Erickson,! one! of! the! creators! of!NLP,!observed! that!people!make!minute! changes! from!moment! to! moment.! Those! changes! communicate!meaning!if!you!have!enough!Sensory!Acuity.!So,!what!is!Sensory!Acuity?!Sensory!Acuity!is!the!ability!to!observe!tiny!changes! in!a!person's!physiology! from!moment! to!moment.! Based! on! the! changes! that! you! observe! you!can!begin!to!gain!an!insight!into!what!is!happening!with!the!other!person.!

In!NLP!we!normally!focus!on!these!key!parts!of!another!person's!physiology:!

! Skin!colour!(whether!it!is!lighter!or!darker) ! Skin! tonus! (whether! the! tone! of! muscles! is!

symmetrical!or!not!symmetrical) ! Breathing!speed!(whether!breathing!is!faster!or!

slower) ! Breathing! location! (whether! they’re! breathing!

from!higher!or!lower!in!their!chest) ! Lower!lip!size!(whether!it!has!more!lines!or!less!

lines) ! Eye!focus!(whether!their!eyes!are!more!focused!

or!defocused) ! Pupil! dilation! (whether! their! pupils! are! more!

dilated!or!undilated)

Lloyd!Johnson

B!14!B

The! truth! is! that! these! are! just! a! starting!point!–!with!enough!Sensory!Acuity!you!can!easily!gain!insight!into!a!person’s!state!through!any!observable!changes!in!their!body.! !Milton! Erickson! famously! noticed! a!member! of!one! of! his! audiences! going! into! trance.! ! Later,! he!was!asked! how! he! knew! she! was! going! into! trance! he!replied,! “I! could! tell! because! the! pulse! in! her! ankle!slowed!down”.!The!better!you!get!at!Sensory!Acuity,!the!more! powerful! a! communicator! you! will! become!!Sensory! Acuity! is! especially! vital! in! a! good!hypnotherapist! as! it! is! your! only! way! of! effectively!gauging!how!quickly!and!deeply!your!client!is!in!trance.!

So,!what!is!an!example!of!this!at!work?!If!you!are!near!a!computer! you! can! look! up! this! YouTube! video! of! the!infamous! Derren! Brown! at! work! with! three! car!salesmen:!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2cvop3vbM!

If! you're! not! near! a! computer! the! video! shows!something! quite! interesting.! Brown! is! in! America! and!goes!to!visit! three!car!salesmen!at! their!place!of!work.!They! are! standing! in! the! parking! lot,! surrounded! by!cars,! and! Brown! proceeds! to! explain! his! complete!ignorance!of!cars.!What!he!asks!the!first!sales!person!to!do!is!to!tell!him!three!things!about!the!car!and!for!two!of! them! to! be! true,! but! for! one! of! them! to! be! a! lie.!Within! moments! of! hearing! the! three! statements,!


B!15!B

Brown!successfully!picks!the!statement!that!is!a!lie.!He!repeats!the!same!process!with!the!second!sales!person.!Then,! to! top! it! all! off,! with! the! third! sales! person! he!does!something!slightly!different.!Instead!of!asking!him!to!say!three!statements!out!loud,!he!asks!him!to!simply!think!them!inside!his!head.!And!once!again,!even!though!the! third! sales! person! doesn't! utter! a! word,! Brown!successfully! picks! the! lie.! This! is! a! great! party! trick! –!and! one! that! you! too! can! do!with!mastery! of! Sensory!Acuity.!

This!video!is!a!great!example!of!how!Sensory!Acuity!can!be! subtly! used! to! gain! an! insight! into! the! internal!representations! of! another! person.! With! the! third!salesman,!Brown!is!able!to!determine!when!he!is!telling!the!truth!without!the!salesman!even!opening!his!mouth.!This! is! because! of! the! subtle! changes! in! his! body!language! that! Brown! can! easily! detect! with! his! wellBdeveloped! skill! of! Sensory! Acuity.! Through! the!questions!he!asks,!he!is!able!to!calibrate,!using!Sensory!Acuity,! when! they! are! telling! the! truth.! Brown! then!simply! picks! the! ‘odd! one! out’! (i.e.! the! answer!where!the!person’s!physiology! is!noticeably!different)!and!he!can!safely!pick!that!as!the!lie.!

It! is! important! to! remember! that! Sensory!Acuity!must!be! calibrated! on! a! personBbyBperson! basis.! The!differences!noticeable!in!one!person's!physiology!when!

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B!16!B

he! is! telling! the! truth! will! not! necessarily! be! the!changes! another! person's! physiology! would! show! for!the!same!internal!representation.!

The! more! you! practice,! the! easier! it! gets.! You! can!practice!Sensory!Acuity!on!ANYONE.!

"

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B!17!B

Technique&2:&Rapport&!

Rapport! is! simply! a! process! of! liking.! Have! you! ever!seen! someone! listening! so!deeply! in! conversation! that!they!are!hanging!on!every!word?!Or!been!with!someone!and!it!has!been!as!if!time!stood!still?!Do!you!sometimes!get!a!sense!from!someone!that!you!can!trust!him!or!her!and!be!totally!comfortable?!How!useful!would!it!be!for!you!to!be!able!to!walk!into!a!situation!and!to!easily!and!effortlessly! connect! with! other! people,! even! if! you've!never!met!them!before?!What!if!you!were!working!with!a!client!who!was!a!bit!nervous!about!NLP!and!there!was!a!way!to!make!them!feel!more!comfortable?!Well,!there!is!–!and!it!is!a!process!known!as!Rapport.!!

Rapport!originally!stems! from!hypnosis.! In! the! field!of!hypnosis,!Rapport!is!considered!to!be!when!the!client!is!so! strongly! connected! with! you! that! they! feel! like!nobody! else! exists! in! their! reality.! Or! in! other! words,!you! are! totally! holding! the! attention! of! their!Unconscious!Mind.! !Now,! in!NLP,! often!Rapport!won't!be! as! intensely! focused! as! that.! So! when! you! think!about!Rapport,!don't!think!about!it!as!a!binary!state.!It!is! useful! to! think! of! it!more! as! an! analogue! scale.! The!truth!is!that!you!will!rarely!be!entirely!out!of!Rapport,!or! in! Rapport,! with! anyone! else! –! you'll! be! moving!through!different!shades!of!grey.!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!18!B

This! technique! is! one! of! the! processes! that!will!make!the!biggest!difference! to!your! results!with! clients,! and!in! your! communication! with! others! in! general.! The!sooner! you! can! allow! the! other! person! to! totally! and!completely! relax! and! feel! comfortable,! the! more!powerful!your!connections!will!be,!and!the!more!easily!you! will! be! able! to! assist! them! in! resolving! their!presenting! problem.! The! question! is,! how! do! you!quickly!move!closer!to!them!liking!and!trusting!you?!

This! is! where! it! begins! to! get! interesting.! What! we!know! is! that! communication! is! much! more! than! the!words! that!we!use.! There! are!many! other! factors! that!play!a!part!in!how!communication!is!received!including!body! language,! voice! tonality! and! especially! facial!expressions.*! Rapport! is! about! making! the! most! of!these!factors,!so!that!we!can!meaningfully!connect!with!others! in! a! way! that! allows! them! to! like! us.! And! the!simplest!rule!to!remember!when!it!comes!to!Rapport!is:!

People,like,people,who,are,like,them.,

This!may! sound! a! little! bit!manipulative! or! tricky,! but!the!truth!is!that!this!is!what!people!do!normally.!!When!you! have! seen! two! people! in! a! social! situation! who!were! sondeep! in! conversation,! you! may! have! noticed!that! they! were! probably! standing! in! similar! ways,!talking! at! similar! volumes/speeds! and! if! you'd! been!paying! enough! attention! you! may! have! even! noticed!


B!19!B

that! their! breathing! was! in! sync.! The! chances! are!though!that!those!people!aren't!trained!Practitioners!of!NLP! or! Hypnotists,! because! this! is! what! just! happens!naturally.!However,!it!can!take!5B10!minutes!to!happen!naturally.!Once!you! start! to!get! good!at! the!process!of!Rapport!you!can!bring!that!time!down!to!2B30!seconds!with!ease!to!simultaneously!create!a!feeling!of!trust!and!comfort!because:!!

Trust!+!Comfort!=!Rapport!Rapport!is!made!up!of!two!main!processes,!Pacing!and!Leading.!Pacing! is!where!you!closely! replicate!parts!of!the!other!person’s!communication!so!that!they!begin!to!recognise!parts!of!themselves!in!you.!!Leading!refers!to!doing! something! new! when! you! are! in! Rapport! with!another! person! that! will! cause! the! other! person! to!replicate! you.! But! before! you! can! Pace! someone! and!start! to! get! in! Rapport! with! them,! you! need! to! know!what!to!look!for.!Here!are!the!main!things!to!watch!for:!

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Lloyd!Johnson

B!20!B

Physiology:"

Posture Gestures Facial!expressions Blinking Breathing

Tonality:"

Tone!(pitch) Tempo!(speed) Timbre!(quality) Volume!(loudness)

Words:"

Predicates Key!words Common!experiences!and!associations Content!chunks


B!21!B

So,! using! your! Sensory! Acuity,! the! key! is! to! pay!attention! to! the! other! person.! How! are! they! holding!their! shoulders! or! sitting! in! their! chair! (posture)?! Do!they! move! their! hands! in! certain! ways! as! they! talk!about! certain! ideas! (gestures)?! Are! they! breathing!slowly! from!deep! in!their!stomach!or!quickly! from!the!top! of! their! chest! (breathing)?! Are! they! talking! really!quickly!(tempo)?!Is!their!voice!really!soft!(volume)?!Are!there! specific! words! they! use! for! specific! things! (key!words)?!Did!you!go!to!the!same!school!or!do!you!play!a!similar!sport!(common!experiences!and!associations)?!I!think!you!get!the!idea!!

So! you! are! probably! thinking,! "This! sounds! great! but!how! do! I! use! Rapport?"! Once! you! have! used! your!Sensory!Acuity!to!work!out!where!the!other!person! is,!the! second! step! is! to! begin! to! match! and!mirror! that!behaviour! whilst! communicating! with! them.! ! As! you!continue!pacing!them!more!and!more,!you!will!deepen!Rapport!with!them!and!the!connection!they!feel!to!you.!!!

Matching!

Matching! their! behaviour! is! where! you! repeat! their!behaviour! back! to! them! in! the! same! way! as! they! are!doing! it.! For! example,! if! they! have! their! right! leg!crossed!over!their!left!leg,!and!if!you!were!to!cross!your!right!leg!over!your!left!leg!then!you!would!be!Matching!that!part!of!their!physiology.!!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!22!B

Mirroring"

Mirroring! their! behaviour! is! where! you! repeat! their!behaviour!back! to! them!as! if!you!were! their! reflection!in! a! mirror.! For! example,! if! they! have! their! right! leg!crossed!over!their!left!leg!then!if!you!were!to!cross!your!left!leg!over!your!right!leg!then!you!would!be!Mirroring!that!part!of!their!physiology.!

Crossover"Mirroring"(Advanced)*

Crossover! Mirroring! their! behaviour! is! where! you!repeat! their! behaviour! back! to! them! with! a! different!part! of! your! body.! For! example,! if! they! were! tapping!their! fingers! quickly! on! a! desk,! you! could!mirror! that!behaviour! by! tapping! your! foot! at! the! same! speed! on!the! floor.!Crossover!mirroring! is!not!as!easy!to!master!as!matching!and!mirroring,!so!if!you!are!new!to!Rapport!I! would! suggest! you! focus! on! the! other! two! first! and!foremost.!!

Matching,!mirroring!and!crossover!mirroring!can!all!be!equally! effective! at! deepening! Rapport! with! another!person.! The! difference! between! an! amateur! and! a!master!when!it!comes!to!Rapport!is!being!able!to!use!all!three! equally!well! so! that! you! can! use!whichever! you!feel!is!most!appropriate!to!the!situation.!!


B!23!B

Important!! You! are!matching,!mirroring! or! crossover!mirroring!as!long!as!what!you!are!doing!stays!out!of!the!other!person's! conscious! awareness.! If! you! are! simply!copying!their!behaviour!the!moment!they!do!it!then!you!are! mimicking! their! behaviour! –! mimicking! does! the!reverse!of!what!we!want!!That!said,! I!have!been!using!Rapport!for!many!years!now!and,!with!the!exception!of!one!or!two!NLP!trained!friends,!I!have!never!ever!been!caught!out!using!these!skills!naturally.!!

Pacing!is!the!first!part!of!getting!into!Rapport.!!You!will!need! to! pace! the! other! person! using! the! techniques!above! until! you! get! a! warm,! comfortable,! internal!kinaesthetic!(feeling).!This!warm,!comfortable,!internal!kinaesthetic!is!the!best!way!to!know!whether!you!are!in!Rapport! with! the! other! person.! It! is! a! deeply!comfortable! feeling! that! is! hard! to! put! into! words! –!though! when! you! begin! to! practice! Rapport! you! will!soon! know! what! I! mean.! ! When! you! start! out! using!these! techniques,! this! feeling!will! be! harder! to! detect,!but! over! time,! you! will! be! able! to! recognise! it! more!quickly!and!easily.!

Once!you!feel!as!if!you!are!in!Rapport,!it!is!time!to!have!some!fun.!The!easiest!way!to!test!Rapport!is!by!leading!the!other!person.!Leading!refers!to!making!a!change!to!your!physiology,!tonality!or!words!in!such!a!way!that!it!causes!the!other!person!to!follow!with!their!behaviour.!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!24!B

For!example,! if! you!are! standing!next! to! someone!at! a!networking!event!and!you!feel!that!you!are!in!Rapport!with! them,! then!you! could! take!a! sip! from!your!drink,!change! the! speed! you! are! talking! at! or! alter! your!posture.! If!you!are! in!Rapport!with! them!then! there! is!every!likelihood!that!they!will!follow!!

After! I! learnt! about! Rapport! I! began! to! practice! it! at!every! opportunity! I! had.! My! favourites! (by! far)! were!with!shop!assistants!and! the!airline!staff! that! check! in!your!bags.!I! found!that! just!by!getting!into!Rapport,!all!of!a!sudden!they!would!be!treating!me!quite!differently.!I'd!be!offered!seats!with!more! leg! room!(I'm!quite! tall!anyway),! they'd! turn! a! blind! eye! if! my! baggage! was!slightly! over! the! limit! and! often! in! shops! I! would! be!offered! a!discount.! ! It! certainly!wasn't! every! time,! but!with! practice! at! Rapport! I've! found! the! rewards! only!increase.! After! all! –! who!wouldn't! want! to! be! helping!people!they!like?!

Not! long! after! I! first! learnt! about! Rapport! I! was! in! a!team! meeting! with! a! person! who! just! wouldn't! stop!talking.! Everyone! was! looking! around! at! each! other!wishing! she! would! stop! and! I! thought! to! myself,! I!wonder!if!Rapport!could!help!here?!So!I!paid!attention!to! her! physiology,! tonality! and! words! and! began! to!match!her!behaviour.! Sure!enough,! after!about! twenty!seconds!I!began!to!feel!that! familiar! feeling!of!Rapport!


B!25!B

in!my! body.! And! then! I! decided! to! have! some! fun.! To!start!with!I!just!rubbed!the!tip!of!my!nose!with!my!right!hand! and! watched.! Sure! enough,! she! unconsciously!rubbed! the! tip! of! her! nose! too.! Then! I! did! it! a! second!time!(and!so!did!she)!and!a!third!time!(and!so!did!she).!When! I! stopped,! she’d! not! only! stopped! her! incessant!talking,! but! she’d! started! checking! her! nose,! probably!thinking! there!must! have! been! something! hanging! off!the!end!of!it!!This!is!not!a!traditional!use!of!Rapport!but!it! just! shows! what! you! can! do! with! it! when! you! are!creative.!

Now,! as! with! most! processes! in! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming,! the! trick! to! becoming! masterful! with!Rapport!is!to!practice,!practice!and!practice!!The!more!that! you! practice! the! easier! it! will! become! and!eventually! (normally! in!only!a! few!weeks!of! conscious!effort)!you!will!start!to!do!it!unconsciously.!Remember,!this!technique!is!one!of!the!processes!that!will!make!the!biggest!difference!to!your!results!with!clients.!!

** Note:* Many, books, will, wrongly, cite, that,

Communication, is, 7%, Words,, 38%, Tonality, and, 55%,

Physiology, –, if, that, were, true,, we, could, easily,

communicate,with,people,who,don't,speak,our,language,

using, voice, tone, and, physiology, alone., Google, is, your,

friend, if, you,want, to, find,more, information,about,what,

that,research,actually,says.*

Lloyd!Johnson

B!26!B

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Further"Reading:"

How"to"make"people"like"you"in"90"seconds"or"less""by!Nicholas,Boothman,

Presenting"Magically"(Chapter*8)"by,Tad,James,&,David,Shepard!

!!


B!27!B

Technique&3:&Anchoring&!

Anchoring!is!a!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!term!for!the!process!of!associating!a!state!within!a!person!to!an!external!stimulus.!Or,! in!simpler! terms,! it! is! the!ability!to!have!someone! feel!a!certain!way! just!by! letting!him!or!her! see! something,! hear! something,! feel! something,!smell!something!or!taste!something.!

Have! you! ever! been! listening! to! the! radio! and! a! song!has!come!on!that!just!makes!you!feel!happy?!Or!walked!into!a!house!to!smell!something!cooking!that!has!taken!you! back! to! how! you! felt! in! the! past! with! family! or!friends?! Or! is! there! an! animal! that! someone! can! just!mention! and! it! will! send! a! shudder! down! your! spine!(Think! snakes/rats/insects/spiders/etc.)?! If! there! is,!then! you’ve! experienced! an! anchor.! ! An! external!stimulus!has!made!you! feel!a! certain!way!without!you!consciously!deciding!to!feel!that!way.!

The! truth! is! that!our!worlds!are!FULL!of! anchors.!The!people!we!like!have!lots!of!things!anchored!to!them!that!make!us!feel!good.!!And!the!people!we!dislike!have!lots!of! things! anchored! to! them! that! make! us! feel! not! as!good.! !These!anchors!are!so!strong!that!often!they!will!overBride!our!other!senses.! Imagine!seeing!a!politician!on! TV! that! you! don’t! like?! The! chances! are! that! the!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!28!B

politician! could! be! saying! something! you! could! agree!with! but! the! negative! feeling! you! have! from! just!seeing/hearing!him!or!her!is!enough!to!overpower!logic!and! you! may! find! yourself! disagreeing! with! what! is!being!said.!Anchors!are!powerful!things!!

What!are!anchors!used!for!exactly?!

Anchors! are! useful! because! not! only! can!we! have! our!state! changed! by! existing! anchors,! we! can! also! create!new!ones.!Imagine!if!you!had!an!anchor!that!would!put!you! into! a! really! good! mood! just! by! listening! to! a!certain!song.! Imagine! if!you!came!home!and! felt!really!horrible.!But!because!you!knew!about!this!certain!song,!and!the!way!it!makes!you!feel!when!you!listen!to!it,!you!could! just! play! that! song! and! the! bad! feelings! would!disappear!! Wouldn’t! that! be! great?! It! really! is! that!simple.!Anything!that!we!can!feel!in!our!nervous!system!we!can!anchor!to!something!we!see,!hear,!feel,!smell!or!taste.!But!there!are!a!few!tricks!to!successful!Anchoring!that!make!it!more!likely!to!work.!

Any!time!that!a!person!is!in!an!associated,!intense!state!where!a! specific! stimulus! is! applied!at! the!peak!of! the!experience,!the!two!will!be!linked!neurologically.!

The!success!of!an!anchor!depends!on!the!following!five!things:!


B!29!B

The! INTENSITY! of! the! other! person’s! internal!experience! (if! they! are! experiencing! a! really!strong!internal!state!then!the!anchor!is!going!to!be!more!effective);!

The!TIMING!of! the!anchor!(you!want!to!anchor!as! they!go! INTO! the! state!and!release! just!after!the! anchor! peaks! –! see! further! information! on!Timing!below);!

The! UNIQUENESS" of! the! anchor! (the! more!unique!it!is,!the!easier!it!is!to!recall);!

The! REPLICATION" of! the! stimulus! (how! well!you! manage! to! replicate! the! stimulus! –! if! you!anchor!a!touch!on!the!person’s!knee!you’ll!find!it!more! effective! if! you! touch! them! in! exactly! the!same!place!on!their!knee,!as!opposed!to!touching!them!a!few!inches!to!the!left!or!the!right);!and!

The!NUMBER"of! times!you!anchor! it! (the!more!times! you! anchor! it,! the! more! effective! the!anchor!will!be).!

So!when!you!want!to!create!an!anchor!in!yourself!(or!in!someone!else)!these!are!the!key!factors!to!be!aware!of.!

As! mentioned! above,! one! of! the! keys! to! successful!Anchoring! is! timing.! The! image! on! page! 30! shows! a!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!30!B

graph!with!the!rise!and!fall!of!an!emotional!state!being!represented! by! the! black! curve.! You! want! to! begin!Anchoring! as! soon! as! you! see! the! other! person! going!into!the!state!and!stop!just!after!they!peak!in!that!state.!Why?! Because! we! are! talking! about! small! changes! in!the! other! person! you! will! need! really! good! Sensory!Acuity! to! spot! the! changes.! Even!with! amazingly! good!Sensory! Acuity! there! will! nearly! always! be! a! slight!delay!between!them!entering!the!state!and!you!noticing!them!entering!the!state.!Likewise,!when!the!state!stops!intensifying!you!will!know!because!your!Sensory!Acuity!spots! the!changes! in!their!physiology.!And!by!the!time!you!notice!that!it!is!dropping!and!release!the!anchor!it!will!have!already!peaked!and!be!on! the!decrease.!This!diagram!below!will!make!it!more!clear!how!to!time!the!application!of!an!anchor:!

!


B!31!B

As!with!most!NLP!Techniques,! your! ability! to! get! into!Rapport!with! the! other! person,! and! to! experience! the!state! yourself,! will! greatly! add! to! the! success! of! your!Anchoring.!

So,!to!pull!it!all!together,!if!you!wanted!to!anchor!a!state!of! confidence! in! someone! else! you! would! follow! this!basic!process:!

1. Find! someone! who! is! comfortable! working!with!you!as!a!volunteer!or!a!client,!

2. Gain!Rapport!with!the!other!person.!

3. Ask! if! it! is! okay! for! you! to! touch! them!on! the!knuckle! during! this! exercise.! (You! can! anchor!people! anywhere! on! their! bodies! but! the!knuckles!are!unobtrusive!and!generally!unique!enough!to!work!well.!Keep!in!mind!the!factors!mentioned!above!when!choosing!your!stimulus!to!maximise!the!chance!of!success!).!

4. Have! the! other! person! remember! a! really!intense! past! experience! where! they! were!confident.!(The!easiest!way!to!do!this!is!with!a!script! like,! “Can! you! remember! a! time! when!you!were! totally! confident?! [wait! for!yes]!Can!you! remember! a! specific! time?! [wait! for! yes]!As!you!go!back!to!that!time!now…!see!what!you!

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B!32!B

saw,! hear! what! you! heard! and! really! feel! the!feelings!of!being!totally!confident…”);!

5. As! they! remember! the! past! experience! use!your!Sensory!Acuity!to!notice!as!they!begin!to!enter! the! desired! state! of! being! Confident.!They! may! enter! it! quickly,! or! slowly,! but! it!doesn't! matter! as! long! as! you! adjust! your!timing! around! them.! As! they! enter! the! state,!start!applying!a!stimulus!(Start!to!firmly!press!on! one! of! their! knuckles,! say! on! their! thumb.!This!doesn’t!need!to!be!very!hard,!just!enough!pressure!so!they!can!feel!it);!

6. Use!your! Sensory!Acuity! again! to!detect! them!starting! to! leave! the! state,! as! it! peaks,! and!remove! the! stimulus! (i.e.! remove! your! touch!from!their!knuckle);!

7. Break! their! state! so! that! they! go! into! a!different,!unrelated!state!to!the!one!which!you!just! anchored! (so! that! you! can! test! getting! it!back.! ! I! find! a! question! like! “Do! you! taste!cheese?”! quite! effective.! Just! as! effective! is! a!question! that! turns! their! focus! to! something!that! was! previously! out! of! their! conscious!awareness,!such!as!“What!colour!are!the!walls!of!this!room?”);!and!


B!33!B

8. ReBapply! the! anchor! and! use! your! Sensory!Acuity!to!test!whether!they!return!to!the!state.!(If! they! return! to! the! state,!CONGRATULATIONS!! You! have! successfully!installed! an! anchor!! If! you! didn’t! notice! a!change! then! check! that! they! are! intensely!associating!with!the!state!and!make!sure!your!stimulus! is!unique!enough.! If! it! is! intense!and!unique! enough,! repeat! the! process! several!times!and!the!repetition!will!assist! in!building!a!stronger!anchor.)!

So!that’s!itByou!now!have!a!rough!idea!about!how!to!use!the! NLP! process! of! Anchoring.! This! is! really! just! the!beginning! of! Anchoring! but! it! makes! a! good! starting!point.!Now!it!is!time!to!find!yourself!a!willing!volunteer!and! ask! if! they! will! allow! you! to! practice! Anchoring!with! them.! Try! some! positive! states! like! Anchoring! a!feeling!of!confidence,!a! feeling!of!excitement!or!even!a!feeling!of!bliss.!If!you!can!find!the!words!for!it!then!you!can!feel!it!!!

As!you!become!more!practiced!at!Anchoring!you'll!find!other! techniques! like! stacking! anchors,! collapsing!anchors!and!chaining!anchors!are!all!powerful! tools! in!your!toolkit.!

!

Lloyd!Johnson

B!34!B

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Further"Reading"

Frogs"Into"Princes""by*Richard*Bandler*and*John*Grinder!This!book!is!an!excellent!transcript!from!one!of!the!first!lectures!on!NLP!by!the!founders.!The!relevant!information!about!Anchoring!starts!towards!the!bottom!of!Page!84.!!!!


B!35!B

Technique&4:&Milton&Model&!

The!Milton!Model!was!created!by!Bandler!and!Grinder,!following!their!study!and!Modelling!of!Milton!Erickson.!The! Milton! Model! is! a! linguistic! model,! or! way! of!talking,!that!allows!you!to!more!easily!induce!trance!in!the! people! you! are! talking! to.! This! is! ideal! for! use! in!Hypnosis,! especially! when! you! are! inducing! or!deepening! trance,! although! it! is! also! very! powerful! in!business! discussions! and! advertising.! ! When! you!effectively!talk!using!the!Milton!Model!you!will!find!that!people!become!more!agreeable!and!connect! to!what! it!is!you!have!to!say.!

You’re! probably! wondering! what! the! Milton!Model! is! and!why! you’re! going! to! start! using! it!soon.!Because,!even!though!right!now!you’re!not!sure!how!important! it! is,! there!have!been!times!before! when! you’ve! been! not! sure,! and! good!things!have!happened,!haven’t!they?!And!the!fact!that! you’re! reading! these! words! and! thinking!about! the! Milton! Model! means! that! you! could!learn! the! Milton! Model! easily! and! effortlessly,!couldn’t!you?!

Try!reading!the!above!short!paragraph!out!loud.!Notice!how,! if! you! speak! it! slowly! and! steadily,! you! gently!

Lloyd!Johnson

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relax.! !And!you’ll!probably!notice!how!it!is!written!just!like!a! lot!of! things!you!may!have! read!before!–! that! is!because! hypnotic! language! is! used! by! many! world!leaders! and! powerful! communicators! like! Martin!Luther!King!Jr.,!Bill!Clinton!and!Barack!Obama.!

The!Milton!Model!paragraph!makes!use!of!mind!reads!(were! you! wondering! what! the! Milton! Model! is! and!why! you’re! going! to! start! using! it! soon?),! lost!performatives! (the! Milton! Model! is! important,!according! to!whom?),! cause! and!effect! (how!does! that!fact! that!you!are!wondering!mean!that!you’re!not!sure!how! important! it! is?),! presupposition! (it! is! assumed!that!you’ll!start!using!it!soon…),!tag!questions!(haven’t!they?!couldn’t!you?),!and!a!couple!of!other!patterns!too,!just! for! fun.! This! will! all! make! more! sense! as! you!explore!the!Milton!Model!further.!!

So,! how! do! you! go! from! what! you! know! now,! to!knowing! and! being! able! to! use! the! Milton! Model!effortlessly?!The!short!answer!is!that!you!need!to:!

Learn!the!Milton!Model!patterns;!

Practice! the! Milton! Model! patterns! again,! and!again,!and!again;!and!

Notice! how! you! effortlessly! start! using! it!unconsciously.!


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The! Milton! Model! is! made! up! of! roughly! twenty!patterns.!Each!pattern!has!endless!possibilities! for!use!with!different!words,!and!the!patterns!can!be!combined!to! become! even! more! effective.! What! follows! is! a!description!and!examples!of!each!of!the!patterns!of!the!Milton!Model.!

Mind&Read&A!mind!read!is!a!really!handy!pattern!where!you!claim!to! know! the! thoughts! or! feelings! of! someone!without!having! any! way! of! knowing! that! information.! By!claiming! to! know! what! they! are! thinking,! they! will!begin!to!think!about!it,!and!because!they!begin!to!think!about!it!as!you!say!it,!they!think!that!they!were!already!thinking!about!it!–!crazy,!right?!So!how!does!it!look?!

“You’re!probably!wondering…”!

You! start! the! sentence! like! that! and! then! finish! with!whatever! you! want.! For! example,! “You’re! probably!wondering!what!sort!of!examples!I’m!going!to!use.”!”You’re!probably!wondering!what!you’re!going!to!have!for!dinner.”!”You’re! probably! wondering! how! much! eggs! cost! in!China.”!

And,!even!though!you!weren’t!wondering!about!any!of!those!things,!you!may!notice!how!good!it! feels! to!start!wondering!about!them!now,!don’t!you?!

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Lost&Performative&A! lost! performative! is! when! we! provide! a! value!judgement!without! telling! the! listener!who!made! that!value! judgement.! It! works! so! well! because! relative!words!are!really!easy!to!agree!with.!!

Basically! these! are! any! words! that! are! value!judgements! such! as:! ! good,! bad,! better,! worse,!slow,!fast!etc.!

You!can!throw!these!into!sentences!to!lead!the!listener!in! the! direction! you! want! their! thoughts! to! go.! For!example,!it!is!good!to!wonder!about!the!Milton!Model.!It!is!great!to!go!to!the!beach.!That!car!is!quite!slow.!

Those!statements!all!make!sense!by!themselves…!but!if!you!start!thinking!about!it!now,!certainly,!the!car!could!be!quite!slow!–!but!slow!compared!to!what?!It!isn’t!slow!compared! to! walking,! or! slow! compared! to! riding! a!horse!or!slow!compared!to!riding!a!bike!but!it!could!be!slow! compared! to! a! Ferrari! or! a! jet! plane! or! a!motorbike.!Because!the!sentence!makes!sense!by!itself!the! listener! is! likely! to!accept! the! thought,! such!as! the!car! is! quite! slow,! and! if! they! accept! that! thought! then!they’ll!be!more!likely!to!base!their!thinking!on!it!further!into!the!conversation.!


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Cause&&&Effect&Cause!&!Effect!is!the!name!we!use!when!we!imply!that!one! thing! causes! another.! The! human! mind! LOVES!reasons!and!this!is!a!great!way!to!provide!reasons,!even!if!the!reasons!wouldn’t!necessarily!hold!up!to!rigorous!investigation.! The! way! to! spot! Cause! &! Effect! style!patterns! is! to! watch! for! the! following! linguistic!patterns:!

Because…!

If!A!then!B!

As!A!you!B!

“As!you!find!yourself!going!into!trance!you!could!notice!how!relaxed!your!arms!feel.”!”Because!you’re!alive!you!are!ready!to!learn.”!

These! statements! are! an! elegant! way! of! leading!someone!slowly!towards!a!favourable!outcome.!You!can!take! things! that! are! known! to! be! true! (the! cause),! or!implied! to! be! true,! and! that! positive! feeling! carries!through!to!what!you!are!implying!(the!effect).!Going!to!the!shops!won’t!necessarily!make!anyone!happier!–!but!if!you’ve!made! that! suggestion! that!going! to! the!shops!will! make! them! happy,! then! that! is! the! more! likely!outcome.!

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Complex&Equivalence&Complex! Equivalence! is! a! way! of! suggesting! that! two!things! mean! the! same! thing! when! they! don’t!necessarily.! That! means! that! you! can! get! people! to!agree!with! two! things!when! initially! they!would! have!only!agreed!with!the!first.!What!you!want!to!watch!out!for!is!these!two!words:!

…that!means…!

Just!reBread!the!previous!paragraph!–!did!you!see!what!I!did!there?!Here!are!some!more!examples!for!you:!Owning!a!car!means!that!you’re!not!as!fit!as!you!could!be.!When!someone!goes!out!to!a!night!club!that!means!they!want!to!get!drunk.!Reading!this!chapter!means!that!you!are!learning!more!about!the!Milton!Model.!

This!linguistic!pattern!is!very!useful!when!you!want!to!make!someone!aware!of!something!that!they!previously!weren’t! aware!of.!Think!of!how!motivating! it! could!be!for!a!boy!learning!football!to!hear!his!coach!say,!“Jimmy,!you! coming! to! all! the! training! sessions! means! that!you’re!getting!better!at!football!and!that!means!that!you!won’t! be! on! the! bench! at! the! game! this! weekend”! –!that’s! really! just! two! complex! equivalences! strung!together.! This! pattern! is! commonly! (mis)used! by!


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politicians! (and! parents:! think! about! the! night! club!example)! to! overBgeneralise! a! situation! for! a! purpose,!i.e.!“Voting!for!us!means!voting!for!freedom”.!!

Presupposition&A! presupposition! is! a! fancy! word! for! a! linguistic!assumption.!By!creating!assumptions! in!your! language!you! can!make!people!begin! to! think! that! something! is!true! without! ever! having! the! chance! to! question! it.!There! aren’t! clear! words! or! ways! of! structuring!presuppositions! and! they! are! present! in! all! of! our!language.! It! is! probably! best! to! share! some! examples,!such!as:!

Are!you!still!thinking!of!buying!a!new!car?!(This!presupposes!you!were!previously!thinking!about!buying!a!new!car.)!

Have! you! used! the! Milton! Model! yet?! (This!presupposes! you! have! used! it! already! OR! will!use!it!in!the!future.)!

You!have! learnt! from!your!past!mistakes.! (This!presupposes!past!mistakes.)!

Your! dancing! is! getting! better.! (This!presupposes!that!person’s!dancing!was!not!good!–!notice!the!lost!performative?)!

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Presuppositions! are! hugely! useful! when! talking! to!people,! as! they! allow! you! to! influence! them! whilst!saving! a! great! deal! of! time.! The! art! of! using!presuppositions! is! to! lead! people! into! presupposing!things! that! will! support! them! doing! what! you! want!them! to! do.! If! you! were! selling! a! car! you! could!presuppose! that! the! buyer! cares! about! the! safety! of!their!passengers! (something!a! car!buyer! is!unlikely! to!disagree! with)! in! order! to! sell! them! a! much! more!expensive,!but!safer,!car.!!This!could!be!neatly!wrapped!in!a!simple!statement!like:!“Sure,!you!could!buy!a!small!car,! but! our! customers! who! feel! the! safety! of! their!passengers! is! important! normally! only! consider!medium!to!large!cars”.!

Universal&Quantifier&A!Universal!Quantifier!is!any!set!of!words!that!contain!a!Universal!Generalisation!AND!lack!a!referential!index.!

So! what’s! a! universal! generalisation?! Words! like! ‘all’,!‘every’! and! ‘whole’! that! refer! to! everything.! !Universal!generalisations! can! also! be! negative,! such! as! ‘never’,!‘noBone’,! ‘nothing’,! etc.! The! key! is! that! the!word!must!refer!to!everything.!

Lacking!a!referential!index!means!a!phrase!that!doesn’t!refer!to!anything!in!particular.!So!you!use!words!like!‘it’,!‘that’,!‘things’,!’stuff’,!etc.!


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For! a! statement! to! be! a! Universal! Quantifier! it! must!contain! BOTH! a! Universal! Generalisation! AND! lack! a!referential!index.!It!can!look!something!like!this:!

Everything!feels!like!that. And!all!the!things,!all!the!things… That!is!never… NoBone!knows!that.

Modal&Operator&Modal!Operators!are!words!that!imply!either!necessity!or!possibility.!These!words!are!often!used!to!form!and!reinforce! the! rules! in! our! lives.! They! are! incredibly!empowering! (or! disempowering),! depending! on! how!they!are!used.!Modal!Operators!of!Necessity!are!words!that! imply! something! must! be! done! (all! the! odd!numbered! examples).! Modal! Operators! of! Possibility!are!words!that! imply!something!could!be!done!(all! the!even!numbered!examples).!

Examples!of!Modal!Operators!include:!

1)!Should 2)!Could 3)!Must

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4)!Might 5)!Need 6)!Want

Take!for!example!these!two!statements:!

1)!You!should!go!to!the!Post!Office. 2)!You!could!go!to!the!Post!Office.

They! feel! very! different.! The! first! statement! uses! a!Modal!Operator!of!Necessity!(should)!while!the!second!statement!uses!a!Model!Operator!of!Possibility!(could).!If! someone! is! feeling! bad! about! something,! they! will!almost!certainly!be!using!modal!operators!of!necessity.!Try!repeating!back! to! them!what! they!said! to!you,!but!swap! the! necessity! words! with! possibility! words! and!enjoy!the!results!!

Nominalization&Nominalization!is!what!we!call!it!when!you!transform!a!verb!or!process! into!a!noun.!The!easiest!way!to!spot!a!nominalization! is! to! look! for! words! that! contain! ‘ion’!such! as! Communication,! Decision! or! Relationship.!Communication! is! the! process! of! communicating,!decision! is! the! process! of! deciding! and! relationship! is!the! process! of! relating.! By! using! nominalizations! we!


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reference!the!process!in!a!way!that!assumes!it!has!been!completed.!

In! sales! you!may! have! a! client!who! tells! you! they! are!‘deciding’!on!whether!your!product!is!right!for!them.!By!beginning! to! use! the! nominalization! of! ‘decided,’! you!can! shift! their! thinking! quite! quickly! towards! them!already!having!made!a!decision.!

Unspecified&Verb&Any!verb!that!lacks!an!adverb!is!unspecified.!When!you!use! unspecified! verbs! it! will! sound! as! if! you’re! only!saying! half! of! the! sentence.! Instead! of! finishing! the!sentence! with! an! adverb! (as! the! listener! would!normally! expect,)! you! stop! short! and! leave! their!unconscious!mind!to!fill!in!the!blank.!

Examples!of!unspecified!verbs!include:!

That!can!help… That’s!the!way… And!you!can…. You!know… You!may!discover…

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Tag&Question&This! is! one! of! the! easiest! and!most! fun! Milton! Model!patterns! that! you! can! start! using! straight! away.! A! tag!question! is! literally! adding! a! rhetorical! question! onto!the!end!of!what!you!say,! isn’t! it?!When!you!start!using!them,! people! just! find! themselves! agreeing! with! you,!don’t! they?! And! they! don’t! even! know! why,! do! they?!The! funny! thing! is,! most! people! already! use! these…!right?!

Here!are!some!examples:!

…haven’t!you? …don’t!you? …won’t!you? …can’t!you? …right?

Lack&of&Referential&Index&These!patterns!are!really!useful!because!they!are!just!so!vague!! Any! phrase! that! doesn’t! refer! to! something! in!particular! lacks! a! referential! index.! This! is! when! you!refer! to! something! in! a! way! that! makes! it! very!ambiguous! what! you! are! actually! referring! to.! For!


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example,!using!the!word!‘it’,! ‘them’,! ‘that,! ‘thing’,! ’stuff,’!etc.!

These!are!some!examples:!

Remember!that!thing!that!we!left!behind!at!that!place!near! that!person?! (This!statement! lacks!3!referential! indexes! –! but! as! you! read! it,! the!statement!should!still!make!sense.)

One!can,!you!know… How!they!said!it!made!all!the!difference. Sometimes!that!thing!happens.

We!do!this!naturally!all!the!time,!don’t!we?!(Whoops…!tag! question! was! the! previous! pattern.)! Take! for!example!if!you!are!describing!an!argument.!I!made!this!argument! up! to! show! the! pattern! in! use,! but! I’m! sure!you! could! have! heard! something! like! this! before:! She!said!this!then!he!said!that!and!it!was!all!over!the!place!and!before!we!knew!it!that!person!arrived!at!the!party!who!everyone!hated!and!he!was!saying!that!stuff!about!her! mother! but! nobody! knew! whether! it! was! her!natural!mother!or!her!stepBmother…’!!

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&Comparative&Deletion&A! Comparative! Deletion! is! very! similar! to! a! Lost!Performative!where!a!comparison!is!made!but!it!is!not!specified! to! what! or! whom! the! comparison! is! being!made.!While!a!Lost!Performative! relates! to! the!person!making! the! judgment! being! left! out,! a! Comparative!Deletion! relates! to! the! leaving! out! what! it! is! being!compared!to.!

Examples!of!Comparative!Deletion!include:!

The!bus!was!much!bigger. And!it’s!more!or!less!the!right!thing… Things!weren’t!that!good. But!it!didn’t!go!as!well.

When! you! make! a! comparison! in! this! way! it! is!incredibly!hard!for!the!listener!to!disagree!with!it.!How!can!you!disagree!with!something!when!you!don’t!know!what! it! is! being! compared! to?! You! can’t!! So! this! is! a!great! technique! for! you! to! use! when! trying! to! be!persuasive.!


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Pace&Current&Experience&The! Pace! Current! Experience! pattern! is! one! of! the!quickest! patterns! for! getting! agreement! or! putting!someone! into! a! trance! conversationally.! Essentially!what!you!do!with!this!pattern!is!you!say!things!that!are!undeniable! about! the! other! person's! experience.! You!don’t! just! mention! one! thing! though,! you! mention!multiple! things,! and! as! you! mention! more! and! more!things! you! will! find! the! person! being! drawn! in! more!and!more!by!what!you!are!saying.!

Here! are! some! examples! of! statements! that! Pace!Current!Experience:!

As! you! sit! there,! reading! this! book,! thinking!about! what! it! means! and! wondering! how! you!could!use!these!patterns…

As! you! look! you! can! feel! how! your! clothes! feel!against! your! skin,! and! how! quickly,! or! slowly,!you’re!breathing!and…

You’ve!looked!at!the!brochure,!you’ve!spoken!to!our! sales! staff! and! now! you’ve! come! into! the!showroom…

So!why!is!this!useful?!This!is!the!basis!of!what!is!called!a!‘Yes!Ladder’! in!sales.! If!you!can!say!several! things!that!are! undeniably! true! then! you! can! normally! say!

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something! that! is!possible,!but!not!definitely! true,!and!have!the!other!person!readily!agree.!And!as!they!agree!with! that! last! suggestion/statement,! they! can!begin! to!unconsciously!move!in!a!new!direction.!

An!example!if!you!were!introducing!trance!could!be:!

As! you! sit! there,! listening! to! my! voice,! and!hearing! what! I! say,! you! can! begin! to! feel!incredibly! relaxed.! As! you! begin! to! feel!incredibly!relaxed!you!can!allow!yourself!to!sink!deep,!deep!down!into!trance,!now.!

Or!an!example!in!sales!could!be:!

You’ve!seen!this!car!on!TV,!you’ve!come!down!to!the!showroom!and!now!you’ve!taken!it!for!a!test!drive!and!by!now!you’re!probably!ready!to!start!filling!in!the!paperwork,!aren't!you?!

Double&Bind&A!Double! Bind! is!when! you! give! the! listener! a! choice,!but! regardless! of! their! choice! they! still! do! what! you!want! them! to! do.! This! pattern! works! especially! well!with!children,!though!if!you!overBuse!it,!they!will!work!it!out!pretty!quickly!!This!pattern!is!best!explained!with!examples:!


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Would!you!prefer!to!take!the!bin!out!tonight!or!tomorrow!morning?

Do!you!want!to!go!to!bed!now!or!in!5!minutes? Would!you!prefer!to!buy!this!in!blue!or!red? Is!it!better!for!you!if!we!meet!in!the!morning!or!

the!afternoon? The!key!in!each!of!these!statements!is!that!although!the!listener! is! given! a! choice,! regardless! of! their! choice,!they! are! implicitly! agreeing! to! something! else.!Regardless!of!whether!they!take!the!bin!out!tonight,!or!tomorrow!morning,! they! are! still! agreeing! to! take! the!bin!out!when!they!answer.!Regardless!of!whether!they!prefer!to!buy!it!in!blue,!or!red,!they!are!still!agreeing!to!buy!it.!

Conversational&Postulate&A! Conversational! Postulate! is! where! you! take! a!command! (i.e.! something! you!want! the! listener! to! do)!and! turn! it! into! a! question.! This! greatly! softens! the!command! and!will! increase! compliance.! Essentially,! it!avoids! the! feeling! of! authoritarianism! that! can! come!from!telling!someone!what!to!do.!

Examples!of!conversational!postulates!are:!

Can!you!close!the!door?

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Would!you!mind!signing!this!document? What! are! the! chances! of! you! picking! up! my!

clothes!from!the!dry!cleaner!on!your!way!home!from!work?

In!each!example!there!is!a!clear!command!(i.e.!Close!the!door,! sign! the! document,! pick! up!my! clothes! from! the!dry!cleaner)!though!the!way!it!is!framed!makes!it!sound!like!a!request! that! the!person!could!potentially!refuse.!It!may!sound!counterBintuitive,!but!because!the!option!to!refuse!is!presented,!it!makes!the!listener!less!likely!to!refuse,!and!much!more!likely!to!comply.!

Extended&Quotes&Extended! Quotes! is! a! beautiful! pattern! that! creates!confusion! in! the! listener! really,! really! quickly.! You!essentially! start! talking! about! someone! (Person! #1)!and! then! tell! the! listener! that! this!person! (Person!#1)!then! said! something! that! he! (Person! #1)! had! heard!from!someone!(Person!#2)!and!that!he!(Person!#2)!had!heard! something! from! someone! (Person!#3)!who! had!said! “<insert! command! here>”.! What! happens! is! that!the!mind!loses!track!of!who!is!saying!what,!and!because!the! mind! loses! track! of! who! is! saying! what! it! gets!confused,! drops! the! listener! into! trance! and! makes!them!much!more!likely!to!accept!the!suggestions.!It!also!makes!it!okay!for!you!to!say!whatever!you!want!to!the!


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listener,!because! it! isn’t!you!saying! it! to! them,! it! is! the!person!who!is!being!quoted!saying!it!to!a!3rd!party.!

Confused!yet?!Maybe!an!example!will!help:!

So!I!was!talking!to!John!and!he!had!been!sailing!on! the! weekend! with! his! friend! Matthew! and!they!had!both!been!talking!to!this!guy!in!the!bar!about!what!it!takes!to!make!a!boat!sail!well.!And!he! said! “It! doesn’t! matter! what! you! know,! it!matters! that! you! learn! quickly.”! And! I! don’t!really! know! why! he! said! that,! but! he! said! it!again,! “It! doesn’t! matter! what! you! know,! it!matters! that! you! learn! quickly.”! “And! the!more!that! he! said! it,! the! more! I! just! sort! of! found!myself!agreeing!with!him,”!said!John.!

Here’s!another!example! in!a!business!context.!Say!you!received! the! objection! that! your! product! was! ‘too!expensive’!from!a!prospective!client.!You!could!use!this!pattern!like!this:!

You!are!not!the!first!person!to!say!our!product!is!too! expensive.! In! fact,! I! got! a! call! from! a! past!client! last! week! who! had! said! the! very! same!thing!to!me.!He!was!telling!me!about!how!he!was!talking!to!a!colleague!about!how!hesitant!he!had!been!to!make!a!decision!on!our!product,!because!of!the!price.!And!he!took!a!little!while!before!he!

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made! his! decision.! But! looking! back! he!wished!he! had! just! gone! for! it! and! made! the! decision!right! away.! Because! even! though! he! felt! it! was!expensive!at!the!time,!having!had!it!as!long!as!he!had,!he!now!wonders!how!he!coped!without!it.!It!saves! him! so! much! time! and! makes! things! so!much! easier! for! him.! And! that’s! interesting,!because!his!colleague!phoned!me!almost!straight!away!after!speaking!with!him!and!decided!that!it!was!the!product!for!him.!Because!even!though!it!was! expensive,! it! was! exactly! what! he! needed!and!he!wanted!it!now.!

This!is!an!extremely!powerful!pattern!and!a!lot!of!fun!to!use!!

Selectional&Restriction&Violation&A!Selectional!Restriction!Violation!is!where!you!suggest!properties!of!a!noun!that!the!noun!cannot!possess.!For!example,!it!is!quite!possible!to!suggest!that!humans!and!animals! have! feelings.! But! can! an! object! like! a! chair!have! feelings?!The! answer! is! no,! so!when!you! suggest!that! an! object! like! a! chair! has! feelings! you! are!suggesting! properties! of! a! noun! that! the! noun! cannot!possess! –! or! making! use! of! a! selectional! restriction!violation!!

Examples!of!this!include:!


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A!car!can!have!feelings. Remember,!the!walls!have!ears!in!this!office! How! do! you! think! the! chair! feels! under! your!

weight? This!was!notably!used!by!Martin!Luther!King!Jr.!in!his!“I!Have!a!Dream”!speech! (quite!a!hypnotic! speech! if! you!analyse! it).! To! quote,! “This! sweltering! summer! of! the!Negro’s!legitimate!discontent!will!not!pass!until!there!is!an! invigorating! autumn! of! “freedom! and! equality.”! –!The!idea!that!‘legitimate!discontent’!can!be!described!as!a! ’sweltering! summer’!or! freedom!and!equality! can!be!described! as! an! ‘invigorating! autumn’! are! both!selectional! restriction! violations.! Or,! to! quote! again,!“Let! freedom! ring! from! the! curvaceous! slopes! of!California!”!–!How!does!freedom!‘ring’?!

The!key!is!that!even!though!at!a!logical!level!Selectional!Restriction!Violations!don’t!make!sense,!when!you!use!them! they! add! a!poetic! and! trance! inspiring!nature! to!your!communication.!

Ambiguity&Ambiguity!is!really!the!core!of!the!entire!Milton!Model.!The! language! is! about! introducing! generalisations,!distortions!and!deletions!into!your!speech!that!make!it!hard!for!people!to!understand!specifically!what!you!are!

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saying.!It!forces!them!to!try!and!make!sense!of!it!at!an!unconscious! level,! and! as! they! do! so,! it! naturally!deepens! their! level! of! trance.! There! are! four! types! of!ambiguity!specifically!that!deepen!trance!even!further:!

Phonological"Ambiguity"

This! is!when!you!use! two!words! that! sound! the!same,!but!have!different!meanings.!Examples!of!this!include:!

‘By!now’!sounds!the!same!as!‘buy!now’ ‘Hear’!sounds!the!same!as!‘Here’ ‘There’,!‘their’,!‘they’re’!all!sound!the!same!too.

How!would!you!use!this!in!a!sentence?!‘As!you!sit!here,!hearing!the!sound!of!my!voice!in!your!left!ear!hear!and!your!right!ear!hear!what!you!can!hear!here.’!When!said!out!loud?!Very!confusing!!Or!in!business!you!can!wrap!up!a!sales!presentation!with:!‘By!now,!you!can!probably!see! the! benefits! of! our! product! in! your! business.’! See!what!I!did!there?!

One!of!my!favourites!is!a!rhyme!my!mother!used!to!tell!me:!One! one!was! a! race! horse.! Two! two!was! one! too.!One! one!won!one! race.! Two! two!won!one! two.! Try! to!say!it!quickly!to!a!friend!and!watch!their!face!!


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"Syntactic"Ambiguity"

This! is! when! the! listener! cannot! determine! from! the!syntax! of! what! you’ve! said! exactly! what! you! mean.!Examples!of!this!include:!

‘They! are! visiting! relatives.’! Are! the! people!relatives! that! are! visiting?! Or! are! the! people!away!visiting!their!relatives?

‘I’ve!had!enough!of!managing!managers.’!Have!I!had!enough!of!spending!time!managing!what!the!managers!do!and!don’t!do?!Or!have!I!had!enough!of!managers!that!are!managing?

‘Selling!salesmen!can!be!tricky!’!Is!it!tricky!trying!to! sell! a! salesman?! Or! are! salesmen! that! are!selling!tricky?

Scope"Ambiguity"

Scope! ambiguity! is! where! your! ambiguous! language!leaves! the! listener! unsure! as! to! how! much! of! the!sentence!the!descriptors!apply!to.!For!example:!

‘Speaking! to! you! as! a! child.’! Am! I! a! child!speaking! to!you?!Or!am!I! speaking! to!you! like! I!would!speak!to!a!child?

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‘The! old! men! and! women.’! ! Are! the! men! and!women!old,!or!just!the!men?

‘I! am!a!Certified!Hypnotherapist! and!Gardener.’!Am!I!a!Certified!Gardener?

‘My! younger! brother! and! sister.’! Is! the! sister!younger!as!well?

Punctuation"Ambiguity"

Punctuation! Ambiguity! is! where! you! pause! as! if! a!sentence! has! finished,! but! then! keep! going! with! the!sentence.! You! place! pauses…! in! places…! people! don’t!necessarily…!expect! them.!This! is!often!very!confusing!for! the!conscious!mind,!but! the!unconscious!mind!still!grasps!the!meaning.!Examples!include:!

‘I!want!you!to!notice!your!*pause*!hand!*pause*!me! the! glass.’! ! That! will! be! interpreted! as! two!sentences,!both!‘I!want!you!to!notice!your!hand’!and!‘hand!me!the!glass’.

‘Sometimes!people!aren’t!*pause*!ready!*pause*!for! this! to!happen.’! !That!will! be! interpreted!as!two! sentences,! both! ‘Sometimes! people! aren’t!ready’!and!‘ready!for!this!to!happen’.


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Utilization&Utilization! is! an! incredibly! fun! language! pattern.!Essentially! it! works! by! noticing! something! that! is!undeniable!that!you!have!observed!and!that!the!listener!can!also!observe,! and! then!assigning!a! larger!meaning!to!what!you’ve!observed.!By!pointing!out!things!that!the!listener! is! yet! to! notice,! it! will! not! only! deepen! their!trance,! it! will! also! lead! them! to! feel! more! convinced!about!what!you!are!talking!to!them!about.!

Examples!of!utilization!include:!

*Other!person!yawns*!and!you!say!“It!is!good!to!yawn,!because!yawns!indicate!that!learnings!are!being!processed!at!the!unconscious!level”

*Other! person! coughs*! and! you! say! “With! each!cough! feel! the! tension! releasing! in! your! chest!and!shoulders”

*Other! person! says! “I’m! angry”*! and! you! say!“That’s! right,! you’re! angry! because! you! haven’t!yet! had! a! chance! to! release! what! you’re! angry!about.”

This! has! obvious! applications! in! therapy,! but! it! is!equally! useful! in! business.! Take! for! example! someone!

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who!says!to!you!“I!am!not!sold.”!You!could!utilise! that!and!reply!with!something!like!“That’s!right,!you!are!not!sold! yet,! because! you! haven’t! asked! the! one! question!that! will! have! you! totally! and! completely! sold.”!Powerful!stuff!!

This! chapter! has! explained! the! patterns! that!make! up!the!Milton!Model.!The!key!to!you!going!from!where!you!are! now,! to! a! point! where! you! can! use! this! model!unconsciously,! is! to! pick! one! pattern! for! the! day! (or!week)! and! just! practice,! practice,! practice!! Now! that!you!have! the!patterns! at! your!disposal,! all! that! stands!between! where! you! are! and! mastery! of! them! is! time!and! effort.! The!more! you! use! them,! the! easier! it! gets,!and! the! easier! it! gets,! the! better! the! results! you! will!enjoy.!

" "


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Further"Reading"

Patterns"of"the"Hypnotic"Techniques"of"Milton"H."Erickson"(I"and"II)"by*Richard*Bandler*&*John*Grinder"

Note:, The, Milton, Model, is, well, documented, in, these,books, BUT, reading, books, in,my, opinion, is, not, the, best,

way, to, really, understand, this, model., If, you, can, get,

someone, to, explain, it, to, you, face, to, face, then, that,will,

make,things,easier,for,you.,Nothing,will,aid,you,more,in,

your,learning,than,practicing,the,model,in,conversation.!

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Technique&5:&Meta&Model&!

The!Meta!Model!is!a!very!important!tool!for!recovering!information! about! a! person's! map! of! the! world.! The!Meta! Model! relates! to! the! way! that! our! minds! filter!information! and! subsequently! how! they! generalise,!distort!and!delete!information!that!doesn't!fit!with!our!beliefs,! expectations,! values! and! previous! experiences.!What! Richard! Bandler! and! John! Grinder! found! when!Modelling! Virginia! Satir! is! that! when! people! are!generalising,! distorting! or! deleting! information! they!will! often! have! a! problem! or! problems.! By! asking! a!question! that! forces! them! to! recover! their!generalisation,! distortion! or! deletion,! problems! can!often!just!disappear!!This!is!the!core!of!the!Meta!Model.!

It! is! important! to! note! that! none! of! the! Meta! Model!responses! use! the! question! 'why'.! It! is! very! rare! in!NeuroBLinguistic! Programming! to! hear! anybody! use!'why'!as!that!question!will!take!people!into!the!content!and! story! behind! the! problem.! While! traditional!therapy!likes!to!dwell!in!this!area,!NLP!normally!steers!well! clear! of! it.! A! good! rule! of! thumb!when! using! the!Meta!Model! is! to! ask! questions! that! begin!with! 'how',!'what',! 'when'! and! 'who'.! These! questions!will! put! the!focus! onto! the! structure! of! the! problem,! and! by!


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discovering! the! structure! of! the! problem! it! is! much!easier!to!allow!the!problem!to!dissolve.!!

What! follows! is! a! list! of! language! patterns,! responses!and!predictions.!Normally!you!will!use!the!Meta!Model!by! listening! to! another! person.! When! you! hear! them!using! any! of! the! patterns! you! can! respond! with! the!appropriate! response.! The! prediction! is!what! you! can!expect!to!be!the!result!of!asking!that!question.!!

Distortions&Mind"Reading"

Pattern:* Mind! Reading! is! when! someone! claims! to!know! what! is! going! on! within! someone! else's! head,!without! having! any!way! of! knowing! that! information.!Common!examples!of!this!would!be!statements!such!as!"He!hates!me,"!or!in!a!business!environment!if!someone!hadn't! let! you! tell! them! about! your! product! and! they!said!"It!won't!be!any!good!for!me".!

Response:! The! response! is! to! ask! a! question! that!recovers! how! they! know! that! information.! So! the!response!to!the!two!above!examples!could!be:!"How!do!you! know! he! hates! you?"! and! "How! do! you! know! it!won't!be!any!good!for!you?”!

Prediction:!The!normal! result!of! your!question! is! that!the!person!will!pause,!think!about!it!for!a!moment,!and!

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tell! you! what! makes! them! think! that.! It! is! not!uncommon! for! them! to! have! an! answer! that! requires!another!Meta!Model!response,!but!you!will!be!one!step!closer! to! unravelling! the! Distortions! that! enable! them!to!have!their!problem.!!

Lost"Performative"

Pattern:* A! Lost! Performative! is! where! a! value!judgement! is! made,! but! the! person! who! made! the!judgement! is! left! out! of! the! sentence.! Common!examples! of! this! would! be! statements! such! as,! ! "It! is!good!to!go!to!the!gym"!or!"It!is!bad!to!drive!slowly".!!

Response:*The!response!to!a!Lost!Performative!is!to!ask!a! question! that! gathers! additional! information! about!the!source!of!the!judgement.!So!the!response!to!the!two!above!examples!could!be:!"Who!says!it!is!good!to!go!to!the!gym?"!and!for!the!second!one,!"How!do!you!know!it!is!bad!to!drive!slowly?"!There!is!lots!of!flexibility!in!the!potential! responses;! it! would! be! just! as! valid! to! ask!"How! do! you! know! it! is! good! to! go! to! the! gym?"! and!"Who! says! it! is! bad! to! drive! slowly?"! A!more! generic!question!that!works!well!with!most!Lost!Performatives!is!"According!to!whom?".!

Prediction:*The!prediction!here!is!that!the!listener!will!gain! a!new!perspective!on! the!problem!by!uncovering!new!information.!!When!the!listener!becomes!conscious!


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of! lost! information,! they! will! likely! gain! a! new!understanding!of!what!is!contributing!to!their!problem!that!they!didn’t!realise!before.!

Cause"and"Effect"

Pattern:*Cause! and!Effect! is!where! the! reason! behind!something!is!wrongly!equated!to!being!something!else.!This!is!often!used!by!people!who!want!to!put!the!reason!for! their! actions! onto! someone! or! something! else,!instead! of! taking! personal! responsibility.! Common!examples! this!would!be!statements!such!as!"She!made!me! do! it"! or! "He! doesn't! know! anything! because! he!doesn't!work!here".!!

Response:* The! response! to! a! Cause! and! Effect! style!statement! is! to! ask! a! question! that! recovers! the! true!reason,! or! choice,! behind! their! thinking.! So! the!response! to! the! two! examples! could! be:! "How! does!what!she!did!mean! that!you!had! to!do! it?"!and! for! the!second!one,!"How!does!not!working!here!mean!that!he!doesn't!know!anything?".!Your!response!to!a!Cause!and!Effect!style!statement!will!normally!begin!with!How.!!

Prediction:*After!hearing!this!response,!the!listener!will!have! more! of! an! understanding! as! to! what! is!contributing! to! their! problem.! ! This! will! loosen! the!person’s! grip! on! the! original! problem! and! give! them!more!information!about!how!they!constructed!it!in!the!

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first!place.!!This!response!alone!will!likely!not!solve!the!problem!completely,!and!will!require!more!Meta!Model!questions.!

Complex"Equivalence"

Pattern:* Complex! Equivalence! is! where! two!experiences! are! interpreted! as! being! the! same,! when!they!probably!aren't.!Common!examples!of! this!would!be! statements! such! as! "He! never! hugs!me,! he! doesn't!love!me"!or! "He!didn't! ask!me!any!questions!after! the!sales! presentation,! he! is! going! to! buy! from! a!competitor".!

Response:*The! response! to! Complex!Equivalence! is! to!ask! a! question! that! provides! a! counter! example! and!presupposes!it!is!possible!that!the!two!experiences!are!not! the! same.! So! the! response! to! the! two! examples!could!be:!"Are!there!people!or!things!that!you!love!but!you!don't!hug?"!and!for!the!second!one,!"Have!you!ever!bought! from! someone! you! didn't! ask! questions! of?"!!The! success! of! the! response! will! rely,! to! a! certain!extent,! on! the! questions! causing/leading! the! other!person!to!reassess!whether!their!Complex!Equivalence!is! true.! If! they! have! never! bought! from! someone!without! asking!questions! then! that! question!would!be!likely! to! reinforce! their! negative! thinking! around! the!chances!of!him!not!buying!from!a!competitor.!


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Prediction:*The!normal! result!of! your!question! is! that!the!person!will!pause,!think!about!it!for!a!moment,!and!open!up! to! the!possibility! that!maybe! that! isn't!how! it!is.!It!is!not!uncommon!for!them!to!have!an!answer!that!requires!another!Meta!Model!response,!but!you!will!be!one! step! closer! to! unravelling! their! Distortions! that!cause!them!to!have!their!problem.!!

Presuppositions"

Pattern:* Presuppositions! are! present! in! all! of! our!language! to! a! certain! extent.! A! presupposition! is!essentially!a!linguistic!assumption;!something!you!need!to! assume! is! true! for! a! sentence! to! make! sense.! An!example!of!a! statement!with!presuppositions! is! "If!my!boss!knew!how!hard!I!worked!he!would!give!me!a!pay!rise."! This! statement! has! many! presuppositions:! (1)!The! person! has! a! boss,! (2)! The! boss! is! male,! (3)! The!person!is!currently!paid!something,!(4)!It!is!possible!for!the!person!to!be!given!a!pay!rise,!(5)!The!person!works!hard,! (6)!The!boss!doesn't!know!how!hard! the!person!works.!

Response:*Given!that!a!simple!sentence!like!that!has!so!many!presuppositions,!it!is!possible!to!challenge!any!of!the!presuppositions!with!a!question!to!create!a!shift!in!their! thinking.!While! challenging! presuppositions! that!are!likely!to!be!true,!like!#1,!#2!and!#3,!is!possible!–!it!

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is!unlikely! to! result! in! any!major! shift! in! thinking.!For!the! maximum! result,! you! are! best! questioning!presuppositions! that!are! less! likely! to!be! true,! like!#4,!#5!and!#6.!The!response!to!those!could!be:!(4)!"How!do!you!know! the!boss!wouldn't!have!already!given!you!a!pay!rise! if!he!could?"!(5)!"How!do!you!know!that!how!hard!you!work! is!enough! for!your!boss?"! (6)! "How!do!you!know!that!he!doesn't!know?"!

Prediction:*This! response!will! have! a! great! impact! on!the! listener.! In! the! above! example,! since! there! are! so!many! assumptions! being! made,! there! is! the! potential!for!a!huge!shift!once!they!are!addressed.!

Generalisations&Universal"Quantifiers"

Pattern:* Universal! Quantifiers! are! global!generalisations! in! statements! detected! by! words! such!as:! every,! all,! everyone,! always,! never.! ! These! words!demonstrate! to! the! listener! that! the! speaker! feels! that!there! is!no!other!option!besides!what! they!are! saying.!!Such! as:! “All! of! the! people! know! how! to! read.”! ! This!denies! the! possibility! that! someone! out! of! everyone!might!not!be!able!to!read.!!In!other!statements!such!as:!“My!boss!never!tells!me!I!do!a!good!job”,!the!speaker!is!closed!to!the!idea!that!her!boss!may!sometimes!tell!her!she!does!a!good! job.! ! It!may!be! true,!however,! that!he!


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really!never!does!tell!her!that!she!does!a!good!job,!but!this! information! will! only! be! uncovered! by! asking!additional!questions.!

Response:*Responses!for!these!kinds!of!statements!are!designed!to!have!the!person!reBevaluate!what!they!have!said.! ! In! most! cases! you! will! be! able! to! achieve! this!simply! by! repeating! the! Universal! Quantifier! to! the!person!in!question,!such!as:!“Never?”!Or!you!could!ask!them! to! find! examples! where! the! possibility! of! the!universal! statement! may! not! apply.! ! For! example:!!“When!has!your!boss!told!you!you’ve!done!a!good!job?”!

Prediction:*The!prediction!of!this!line!of!response!is!to!have! the! client! uncover! instances!where! the! universal!quantifier!does!not!apply.!!Sure,!in!some!cases,!it!will!be!absolutely! true! that! in! the! given! problem! a! universal!statement! is! valid.! However,! in! many! cases,! asking!these! questions! will! make! clear! to! the! client! that!actually! the! problem! is! present! only! part! of! the! time,!which!will!likely!loosen!their!grip!on!it!altogether.!

Modal"Operator"of"Necessity"

Pattern:!Statements!that!imply!a!lack!of!choice,!such!as:!should,!shouldn’t,!must,!mustn’t,!have!to,!need!to,!it’s!a!necessity.! ! These! statements! demonstrate! that! the!person!feels!bound!to!their!actions!by!a!set!of!rules.!!For!

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example,! someone! might! say:! I! must! study! for! my!history!test!tomorrow.!

Response:*Responses! to! these! kinds! of! questions! give!the! listener! the! chance! to! think! about! the! alternatives!to! their! behaviour.! ! They! also! allow! the! listener! to!question!what!is!it!that!is!causing!them!to!feel!bound!by!a!certain!set!of!rules!that!may!not!be!serving!them.! !In!the! above! example,! many! responses! would! be!appropriate.!!You!could!say:!“What!would!happen!if!you!didn’t?”! This! would! allow! the! person! to! consider! the!consequences! of! their! behaviour.! ! You! could! also!attempt!to!get!more!information!as!to!how!they!came!to!believe!what! they! believe! to! be! true,! by! asking:! “Who!says! you! have! to! ‘study?’! This! will! uncover! why! they!view!studying!as!an!imperative.!!

Prediction:* The! responses! here! will! give! the! client!more! information! on! how! they! came! to! hold! these!Modal!Operators.!!More!importantly,!the!responses!will!allow! them! to! consider! the! consequences! of! not!following!what!is!absolutely!a!necessity.!!!This!will!give!them! more! flexibility! of! behaviour! for! the! future,! so!instead!of!feeling!bound!by!what!must!happen!they!are!able!to!see!what!could!be,!or!what!is!possible,!allowing!them! to! choose! their! responses! and! actions! at! each!given!moment.!


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Modal"Operator"of"Possibility"

Pattern:* This! pattern! is! the! opposite! of! Modal!Operators! of! Necessity.! ! Instead! of! the! language!pointing! to! what! needs! to! be! done,! these! statements!illustrate! how! it! could! be.! ! Words! such! as:! can,! can’t,!would,! won’t,! possible,! impossible! are! used! in! these!cases.! ! An! example! here! would! be:! “I! can’t! tell! the!truth.”! ! In! this! case! the! speaker! believes! that! it! is!impossible! to! do!what! the! statement! implies:! it! is! not!possible!to!tell!the!truth!to!his!wife.!

Response:* What! the! responses! to! these! types! of!statements! are! meant! to! do! is! give! the! client! the!opportunity!to!see!their!options.!Also,!as!in!statements!with! Modal! Operators! of! Necessity,! you! will! give! the!listener! the! opportunity! to! uncover! what! has!contributed! to! them!holding! the!belief! that! is! inherent!in! the! statement.! ! In! the! above! example,! you! could!respond!with!a!question!such!as:! “!What!prevents!you!(from! telling! your! wife! the! truth)?”! or! “What! would!happen!if!you!did?”!

Prediction:*The!prediction!here!is!that!through!getting!more! information! on! the! problem,! perhaps! the! client!will!no! longer!be!able! to!have!as! tight!a!grip!on! it.! ! In!these! examples,! and! in! fact! many! Meta! Model!responses,! you! most! likely! will! not! get! the! client! to!

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abandon!their!problem!entirely.!!For!example,!the!man!probably!won’t! go! right!out!and! tell!his!wife! the! truth!merely!by!understanding!what!has!contributed! to!him!believing!that!that!is!something!he!cannot!do.!However,!he!may!begin!to!see!the!problem!from!a!new!angle,!and!thus!regain!access!to!more!ways!of!dealing!with!it.!

Distortions&Nominalisations"

Pattern:* ! A! nominalisation! is! a! process! word! (verb),!that!has!been!frozen!in!time,!thus!transforming!it!into!a!noun.! ! This! has! no! impact! in! and! of! itself.! ! However,!when! we! take! ‘processes’! to! be! ‘things,’! we! deny! the!malleable!and!changing!nature!of!processes.! !When!we!accept!process!words!such!as!communicating,!as!static!things,! we! are! more! likely! to! accept! these! ‘things’! as!unchangeable,! instead! of! understanding! that! where!there! is!process! there! is! room!for!understanding,! !and!for! change! to! occur.! !Most! nominalisations! contain! by!‘ion,’!as!in!relationship,!communication.!

Response:* *The! responses! to! these! statements! involve!turning!the!noun!back!into!a!verb,!thus!giving!the!client!the!opportunity!to!explore!what!it!is!about!the!process!that! is! causing! the! problem.! ! For! example,! if! someone!says:! “There! is! no! communication! here,”! a! response!could!be:!“Who!here!is!not!communicating?”!or!“What!is!


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not!being!communicated?”!!This!line!of!questioning!will!give!more!information!as!to!what!it!is!about!the!process!of! communicating! that! is! the! problem,! instead! of!with!the!‘thing’!itself.!

Prediction:*The!result!of!these!questions!will!be!to!get!the! client! to! understand! the! process! of! the! problem.!!They! in! fact! do! not! hold! a! problem! with! the!nominalisation,!but!with!the!verb.!!When!information!is!uncovered! about! the! process,! the! client! can! begin! to!understand! what! (about! the! process)! is! causing!difficulty! and! find! ways! to! remedy! that.! ! Without! a!process!to!work!with,!there!is!nowhere!to!go!in!terms!of!finding!the!solution!to!the!problem.!!

Unspecified"Verbs"

Pattern:* *This! is!where,! in! a! given! statement,! there! is!information!missing! about! the! verb! in! that! statement.!!For!example:! ! “He!rejected!me.”! ! In! this!statement,! the!!listener!(and!the!speaker!in!fact)!is!left!to!wonder!what!exactly! is!meant! by! rejecting! and! how! specifically! the!speaker!was!rejected.!

Response:*Responses!to!unspecified!verbs!are!designed!to!get!more!information!on!the!verb.!!For!example,!as!a!response! to! “He! rejected! me,”! one! could! say:! “How!specifically?”! inviting! the! listener! to! qualify! what!exactly!rejection!is.!!!

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Prediction:*The! prediction! here! is! that! by! uncovering!more! information! about! the! statement,! the! client! will!be! able! to! look! at! the! problem! from! a! different!perspective.! ! This! alone! will! probably! not! cause! the!problem! to! disappear,! but! what! it! will! do! is! give! the!client!more!information!as!to!what!may!be!contributing!to!the!problem!at!hand.! !For!example,!once!the!person!knows! specifically! what! they! mean! by! rejection,!perhaps! they!will! be! able! to! communicate! that! to! the!other! person,! or! maybe! they! will! simply! gain! more!understanding!of!the!way!in!which!they!may!have!been!communicating.!!In!both!cases,!the!person’s!hold!on!the!problem!will!have!changed.!

Simple"Deletions"

Pattern:*This!is!where!large!chunks!of!information!are!left! out! of! the! statement.! ! For! example:! “I! am!uncomfortable.”! ! In! this! statement,! it! is!not!clear!what!uncomfortable! means,! what! this! person! is! comparing!this!discomfort!to,!or!what!this!person!is!uncomfortable!with,!just!to!name!a!few!

Response:*The!response!here!is!meant!to!uncover!some!of!the!missing!information!from!the!original!statement.!!From! the! above! example,! a! response! could! simply! be:!“About!what/whom?”! !This!will! allow! the!client! to!get!more! specific! about! what! exactly! is! causing! the!


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problem.! !Before!they!are!able!to!make!any!changes!to!the!problem,!they!must!first!be!able!to!pinpoint!exactly!what! it! is.! ! “I! am! uncomfortable”! is! not! enough!information! to! make! any! changes! to! remedy! this!problem!

Prediction:*Once!the!responses!are!delivered,!the!client!will!be!more!equipped!to!make!the!changes!needed!to!remedy! the! problem.! ! This! process! may! allow! the!problem!to!disappear;! !once!the!person!is! !consciously!aware! of! the! information,! it! might! involve! a! simple!change.!Or,!if!the!problem!is!more!convoluted!than!the!above!example,!uncovering!more!information!will!allow!the! person! to! gain! a! different! perspective! on! the!problem!by!seeing!what!is!contributing!to!it.!

Lack"of"Referential"Index"

Pattern:* In! this! pattern,! the! speaker! fails! to! specify!what!the!statement!is!refering!to.!!!The!speaker!states!a!problem! without! any! reference! to! what! or! who! is!contributing!to!that!problem.!!For!example:!“They!don’t!listen!to!me.”!

Response:*Responses!to!these!statements!are!designed!to! have! the! listener! uncover! what! or! who! is!contributing! to! the!problem.!For! example,! in! response!to!the!above!statement,!you!could!say:!“Who!specifically!doesn’t! listen! to! you?”! This! will! give! the! listener! the!

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chance!to!discover!more!specifically!what!the!problem!is.!

Prediction:* ! The! prediction! here! is! that! once! the!listener!is!able!to!get!enough!information!as!to!what!or!who!is!contributing!to!the!problem,!they!are!more!able!to! find! solutions! to! the! problem.! !With! the! additional!information,! the! person! will! gain! a! different!perspective,!either!giving!them!more!options!as!to!how!to!deal!with!the!problem,!or!they!will!perhaps!find!that!the!additional!information!has!led!them!to!discover!the!true!root!of!the!problem.!

Comparative"Deletions"

Pattern:* This! language! pattern! involves! the! speaker!comparing!one!thing!to!another,!but!with!no!reference!to! what! it! is! being! referenced! to.! ! This! pattern! is!marked!with!words!like:!better,!worse,!more,!less,!least.!For!example:!“His!job!is!better.”!

Response:* Responses! to! this! pattern! are! simple! and!involve!simply!asking!what!the!thing!is!being!compared!to.! !For!example,!you!might!ask:!“His!job!is!better!than!whose?”!!In!some!cases!when!comparative!deletions!are!used,! it! is!assumed!that!the!listener!can!infer!what!the!speaker!is!comparing!something!to.!!However,!once!the!question! is! asked,! the! listener! is! able! to! offer! more!information! as! to!what! they! feel! is! better.! ! This! gives!


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some!insight!into!what!is!important!to!the!listener!and!may!serve!to!assist!them!in!uncovering!whether!there!is!any!validity!to!their!comparison,!or!not.!

Prediction:*The!outcome!of!delivering!this!response! is!that! the! client! will! have! more! information! as! to! how!they!are!holding!on!to!the!problem.!Without!having!the!additional! information! about! what! the! thing! is! being!compared!to,!the!person!is!unable!to!find!a!solution!to!their! problem,! or! even! really! conceptualise! it! clearly.!!Once!they!have!more!information,!they!will!have!less!of!a! dependence! on! the! problem,! and! perhaps! the!beginning!of!finding!the!solution.!

!

When!using!the!Meta!Model!it!is!especially!important!to!remain! in! Rapport! with! the! other! person.! If! used!excessively,!invasively,!or!bluntly,!the!Meta!Model!style!questions! will! quite! quickly! have! the! other! person!feeling! rather! uncomfortable.! You! will! find! the! best!results!when!using!these!questions!in!therapy,!or!when!faced! with! specific! situations! in! business.! ! After! all! –!any! sales!objection! is! likely! to! contain!generalisations,!distortions! and! deletions! if! you! examine! it! closely!enough!!

"

Lloyd!Johnson

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Further"Reading"

The"Structure"of"Magic"I:"A"Book"About"Language"and"Therapy"by,Richard,Bandler,&,John,Grinder"

The"Structure"of"Magic"II:"A"Book"About"Communication"and"Change"by,Richard,Bandler,&,John,Grinder"

Note:,The,Meta,Model,is,well,documented,in,these,books,BUT,books,are, in,my,opinion,not, the,best,way, to, really,

understand, and, be, able, to, apply, this,model., If, you, can,

get, someone, to, explain, it, to, you, face, to, face, then, that,

will,make,things,easier,for,you.,*

&!


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Technique&6:&Modelling&!One! of! the! foundations! of! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming! is! the! ability! to! model! people! with!successful! behaviour.! If! one! person! can! do! something!then,!using!NLP,! it! is!possible! to!detect! and!utilise! the!patterns! they! are! using,! and! get! the! same! class! of!results!as!the!person!from!whom!the!model!was!taken.!So!this!is!where!it!gets!exciting.!!!The!possibilities!are! limitless.!You!can!model!excellent!sales!skills,!outstanding!sporting!achievements,!vibrant!health,! outstanding! parents,! and! more.! Modelling! is!normally!taught!as!part!of!a!Master!Practitioner!Course!and! as!with! all! of! NLP! –! the!more! you! practice! it! the!better!you!will!become!!So!let’s!start!with!the!theory.!!Modelling"Steps"The!basic!steps!in!Modelling!are:!

Find"someone"or"someone’s"behaviour"that"is"worth" Modelling," ideally" a" model" of" real"excellence.!It!is!really!important!that!the!person!you!are!Modelling! is!better! than! just! ‘okay’!and!is! getting! truly! excellent! results! –! it! isn’t!worth!Modelling! people!who! are! only! getting! average!results,! as! your! result! will! only! be! as! good! as!your!model’s.!!

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!

Find"their:!!

1." Beliefs" and" Values." These! are!important! to! obtain! their! Model! of! the!World.! You! can! use! questions! such! as,!"Why!is!it!important!that!you!know!to!get!these! results?"! Find! both! enabling! and!disenabling!beliefs!and!values!–!this!area!is! often! the! most! neglected! in! the!Modelling!process.

2." Strategy" (Mental" Syntax)." " Knowing!their!strategies!is!vital!to!reBcreating!their!results.! The! less! you! presuppose! the!more! you! will! learn.! It! is! important! to!leave!your!preconceived!ideas!at!home!so!that!you!get!each!and!every!part!of! their!strategy! –! if! you! miss! anything! then!you’re! unlikely! to! get! the! same! results!that!the!person!you’re!Modelling!gets!! In!NLP! a! Strategy! is! a! sequence! of! Internal!Representations! that! you! follow! to! get! a!desired! behaviour.! These! Internal!Representations!include!any!pictures!that!form! in! the! model’s! mind! (i.e.! they!visualise! a! perfect! golf! shot! just! before!hitting!the!ball),!an! internal!voice!(and! if!


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so,! what! it! says,! and! how! it! says! it),! or!maybe!they!have!a!particular! feeling! just!before! they! perform! the! task.! How! to!elicit!strategies!is!normally!taught!at!NLP!Practitioner!Training!courses.!

3."Physiology."This!relates!to!their!body.!Depending!on!what!you!are!Modelling!the!key! is! often! to! find! out! about! their!breathing! and! the! next! most! important!aspect! of! Modelling! physiology! is! their!posture.! This! can! be! done! using! your!Sensory!Acuity.

Install" this" in" yourself.! Try! on! the!model! and!see! how! it! feels.! Use! the!model! and!make! sure!you! get! the! same! results! as! the! person! you!modelled!–! if! you!don’t! then! find!out!what!was!missing! and! install! it! again! until! you! get! their!results.!This! is!a! trial!and!error!process.! ! If!you!get! all! three! steps! right,! you! should! be! able! to!replicate! the! behaviour! you! desire.! However,!because!Modelling!someone’s!behaviour!is!quite!an! intricate! process! involving! many,! many!details!which!may!be!unconscious,!you!may!need!to!go!back!and!get!more!information!more!than!once!in!order!to!produce!the!desired!behaviour.!

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Design" a" universal" training."Once! you! have! a!reliable! model! that! generates! results! for! you!then! you! can! install! it! in! others!who! also!want!the!same!results.!"

Train"others."This!is!where!you!get!to!put!your!universal! training! to! the! test! and! share! your!model!with!others.! !This!is!an!important!step!in!the!Modelling!process!where!you!can!offer!your!insight!to!others.!!Instead!of!having!people!start!at! the! beginning! with! no! information! like! you!did,! you! can! offer! them! some! guidance! so! they!don’t!need!to!create!the!model,!they!only!need!to!replicate! it.! ! Coaching! sessions! with! team!members,! training! sessions! of! any! kind,! face! to!face! time! with! your! children,! are! all! useful!opportunities!to!share!your!model!with!others.!!

Train"trainers."If!your!model!is!in!high!demand!then!it!may!even!be!worth!training!other!people!in! how! to! share! and! transfer! your! model! to!others.!!

!There! are! two! main! ways! to! do! Modelling,! Imitation!and!the!Cognitive!Approach.!Imitation!is!where!you!do!it!yourself!and!then!model!yourself!to!see!how!you!did!it,! while! the! Cognitive! Approach! is! much! more!analytical! and! based! on! talking! to! someone! who! is!


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already! getting! the! desired! results.! The! Cognitive!Approach! is! useful! in! more! complex! results! where! it!isn’t!possible!to!just!imitate!the!other!person.!!!What! could! you! successfully! model?! Is! there! a!behaviour!that!someone!you!know!has,!that!you!would!like! to!share.!This!would!be!a!great!opportunity! to! try!your! hand! at! Modelling! –! give! it! a! go! and! see! what!happens!!!Sometimes!when!I!work!with!clients!who!want!to! lose!or! gain!weight! I! suggest! that! they! start! off! by! doing! a!simple!Modelling!project! for! themselves.! I!ask! them!to!notice!the!beliefs!and!values!of!slim!people!about!food!and!exercise.! !Do!they!believe!that!going!to! the!gym!is!‘me! time’! for! example! B! ! a! place! to! have! fun?! ! ! I! also!suggest!that!when!they!walk!into!a!café!or!a!restaurant!they! look!at! the!behaviours!of! overweight!people,! and!slim!people.!It!is!no!surprise!that!in!a!café!you're!much!more! likely! to! see! a! larger! person! ordering! a! piece! of!cake!with!their!hot!drink!than!a!thinner!person!!!

&

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Teaching&Yourself&NLP&!

NeuroBLinguistic!Programming! is! a!wide! field!of! study!and,! like! other! wide! fields! of! study,! there! are! lots! of!ways!to!approach!the!subject!area.!If!someone!wants!to!learn!marketing,!for!example,!they!have!lots!of!choices.!They!could!go!and!work!for!a!marketing!company!and!gain!hands!on!experience.!They!could!go!to!a!University!or! take! a! course! and! learn!marketing! from! a! lecturer.!They!could! read!books!on! the! subject,!watch!DVDs,!or!listen!to!audio!programs.!They!could!do!a!whole!host!of!different! things! which! would! all! lead! to! them! gaining!more! knowledge! about! marketing.! None! of! these!choices!is!the!'best'!for!everyone!and!the!choice!that!is!right!for!someone!wanting!to!learn!marketing!depends!very!much! on! their! individual! circumstances! and!how!important! marketing! is! going! to! be! to! them! in! their!future.!In!many!ways,!it!is!exactly!the!same!with!NLP.!

Now!there!are!many!reasons!for! learning!NLP.! !Maybe!you!want!to!learn!NLP!so!that!you!can!get!better!results!in!a!specific!context,!such!as!at!work,!with!your!children!or!on!the!dating!scene.!Perhaps!you!want!to!learn!NLP!because!you're!curious,!and!enjoy!exploring!new!areas!or!you!want!to!become!a!more!powerful!communicator.!But! the!bottom! line!probably* is! that!you!want!a!better!life.! You! want! to! overcome! the! limitations! that! are!


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currently!holding!you!back!and!open!yourself!up!to!new!and! exciting! opportunities.! Maybe! you!want! to! go! for!that! job! that! everybody! else! thinks! you! aren't! good!enough! for.! Maybe! you! finally! want! to! lose! (or! gain)!that!weight!that!those!around!you!don't!think!you!can.!Or! maybe! you! want! to! push! yourself! beyond! your!boundaries! to! taking! up! something! like! an! extreme!sport.! Regardless! of! your! reason,! THINK! BIG!! The!bigger! your! reason! is! for! learning! NLP! the! more!powerful!the!motivation!is!going!to!be.!

The!most!important!thing!to!decide!before!you!begin!to!learn!about!NLP!is:!

What*is*my*reason*for*learning*NLP?,,(What,do,I,want,to,gain,from,learning,about,NLP?),

And! while! your! initial! answer! is! what! will! get! you!going,! there! is! every! possibility! that! reason!will! twist!and! change! as! you! continue! on! your! journey,! in! the!same!way!a!river!carves!new!banks!for!itself!over!time.!!

Only! once! you! have! an! answer! to! this! question! is! it!possible! for!you! to!determine! the!best!way! to!embark!or! continue! on! your! personal! journey! of! learning.! ! As!your!reason!twists!and!changes,!!so!will!the!best!way!to!achieve!success.!

!

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How!about!you!STOP,!right!now,!and!write!you’re!your!answer!to!the!question!below?!

My!main!reason!for!learning!NLP!is:!!

________________________________________________________________!

________________________________________________________________!

________________________________________________________________!

and!what!I!will!gain!from!learning!NLP!is:!!

________________________________________________________________!

________________________________________________________________!

________________________________________________________________!

Now!that!you!are!clear!on!your!reason,!or!at!least!your!reason! for! now,! the! next! step! is! to! determine! how!you're!going!to!best!fulfil!that.!There!are!lots!of!ways!to!learn!NLP!and!the!main!methods!for!learning!NLP!are:!

By" reading" books," listening" to" audios" and"watching" DVDs." These! are! a! fantastic! and!inexpensive!way!to!learn!NLP.!Many!really!good!products!exist!on! the!subject.!The!down!side! to!learning!in!this!way!is!that!you!can!gain!a!lot!of!knowledge!about!the!subject!without!necessarily!being! able! to! do! anything!with! it.! ! Striking! the!


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balance!between!knowing! the! theory!and!being!able!to!apply!it!is!something!that!these!products,!on!their!own,!are!not!great!for.!Further!on!in!this!book!you!will!find!the!titles!of!some!of!the!books!that!I!regularly!recommend.

By" attending" courses.! Courses! are! one! of! the!best!ways!to!learn!NLP.!Not!only!are!you!taught!the! theory! involved! but! you! are! also! given! the!chance!to!apply!each!of!the!tools!and!techniques.!This!means!that!attending!a!course!will!give!you!a! lot! more! hands! on! experience.! You! are! also!likely! to! achieve! certification! to! a! certain!standard.!The!down!side!to!courses! is! that! they!are! often! quite! expensive! and! they! are! time!intensive! so! they! are! not! great! for! people!who!are!unable!to!devote!a!week!or!more!to!a!course.

Reading"information"on"the"Internet.!Reading!information! on! the! Internet! has! its! pros! and!cons.!Lots!of!great!information!exists.!Lots!of!bad!information! exists! also.! If! you! are! a! discerning!reader!and!you!take!the!time!to!verify!what!you!read! then! this! can! be! a! great! way! to! freely!broaden!your!knowledge! about!NLP.!The!down!side! is! it! can! be! quite! time! consuming! to! find!good!information.

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Practicing" with" friends" or" others" interested"in"NLP.! If! your! friends!and!your! friends!have!a!mutual! interest! in! NLP! then! practicing! with!them! is!an!excellent!way! to!experience,!and!get!good! at! NLP.! The! advantage! of! this! method! is!that! with! a! group! you! are! likely! to! stay!motivated! to! learn! more! easily! and! for! longer.!The! theory! would! still! normally! need! to! come!from! an! expert! source,! but! having! hands! on!experience! is!absolutely! invaluable! in!becoming!a!competent,!confident!and!effective!practitioner!of!NLP.!NB:,For,major,changes, in,your, life, it, is,normally,

best,that,you,do,not,work,with,family,or,friends.,,

While! each! of! these!methods! has! their!merits,! to! gain!true!mastery!of!NLP!the!truth!is!that!you!will!probably!need!to!pursue!all!of!these!methods,!and!more.!As!you!go! beyond! your! existing! knowledge,! and! start! using!NLP,! you! become! an! NLP! Practitioner.! The! difference!between!an!average!NLP!Practitioner!and!an!excellent!NLP!Practitioner!is!that!the!excellent!one!maintains!an!attitude! of! curiosity! and! a! thirst! for! knowledge! that!sees!them!pursuing!the!field!as!far!as!they!can!take!it.!A!true!master!is!someone!who!realises!that!the!more!they!learn!about!NLP,!the!more!there!is!to!learn!!


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The! main! question! in! working! out! how! to! approach!learning! NLP,! at! least! in! my! opinion,! is! whether! a!qualification! in! NeuroBLinguistic! Programming! is!important!to!you.! If!your!reason!for! learning!NLP!is! to!improve! relationships,! help! you!become!a!better! sales!person,! take! control! of! your! thoughts! or! become! a!better! communicator! then! the! truth! is! that! being!qualified!is!not!essential.!On!the!other!hand,!if!your!job!involves! coaching,! or! you! want! to! become! a! full! time!coach,! ! or! you!work!with! clients! in! an! educational! or!therapeutic! environment,! then! a! qualification! as! a!Practitioner! of! NeuroBLinguistic! Programming! can! be!invaluable.!Currently!the!only!way!to!become!qualified,!in!a!way!that!is!recognised!by!the!major!boards!of!NLP,!is!by!doing!a!course!that!has!a!faceBtoBface!component.!While!all!of!the!above!methods!have!their!merits,!if!you!want! a! qualification,! then! participating! in! a! course! is!the!best!option.!

Regardless! of! the! option! you! choose! to! pursue,! the!process!of!learning!is!still!the!same.!

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The&Learning&Process&!

Learning! can! be! thought! of! as! the! transition! through!these!four!different!stages:!

1."Unconscious"Incompetence"

This! is! where! you! used! to! be! in! regards! to! NLP.!Unconscious!incompetence!is!that!state!where!you're!totally!incompetent!in!NLP!techniques,!but!you!don't!know! that! you're! incompetent.! That! is! probably!because! you! are! unaware! that! NLP! exists,! and!without! an! awareness! of! something! existing! it! is!impossible!to!be!skilled!in!it.!!

An! example! of! this! would! be! someone! living! in! a!remote!!rural!community!that!is!totally!untouched!by!technology.! They! would! have! unconscious!incompetence! towards! mobile! phones.! Not! only!would! they! have! no! idea! how! to! work! a! mobile!phone! but! they! would! not! realise! they! are!incompetent!with!mobile!phones.!

The!way!to!move!out!of!unconscious!incompetence!is!to! become! aware! that! you! don't! know! something.!The! good! news! is! that! if! you! are! reading! this! book!then! you! have! already! transitioned! through! this!stage!in!relation!to!NLP!–!Congratulations!!


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"

2.""Conscious"Incompetence"

Conscious! Incompetence! comes! after! you! become!aware! of! something’s! existence,! yet! you! haven’t!developed!any!skills!or!abilities!in!that!area!yet.!This!would!describe!someone!who!has!heard!of!NLP!but!who!has!no!idea!of!how!to!use!NLP!to!their!benefit.!!

An! example! of! this! would! be! a! stereotypical! older!person!who!lives!in!a!technology!enabled!community!but!who!has!never!used!a!computer!or!mobile!phone.!Although!they!are!aware!that!this!technology!exists,!and! possibly! what! it! can! be! used! for,! they! do! not!personally! have! the! competence! to! use! it.! Imagine!someone! who! needs! their! emails! printed! for! them!and! needs! someone! else! to! type! their! reply! –! they!are! consciously! aware!of! email! technology!but! they!are!incompetent!when!it!comes!to!using!it.!!

The!way! to!move!out!of!Conscious! Incompetence! is!to!learn!and!practice!until!you!begin!to!gain!a!level!of!competence.!!!

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3.""Conscious"Competence"

Conscious! competence! comes! when! you! begin! to!become! competent! at! something,! but! you! still! need!to!think!about!it!consciously!as!you!do!it.!In!NLP!this!would! be! when! you! have! a! good! understanding! of!NLP;! you! are! using! the! techniques! with! others! but!you!possibly! need! the! instructions!written!down! in!front!of!you!while!you!use!them.!This! is! the! level!of!competence!that!is!normally!gained!by!the!end!of!an!NLP!Practitioner!course.!!

An! example! of! this! would! be! someone! who! has!recently! bought! a! phone,! but! still! needs! to! run!through!what!they!need!to!do!in!their!head.!So!when!they! go! to! send! a! text! message! they! need! to! run!through! their! mind! what! buttons! to! press,! what!menus!to!go!through!and!how!to!use!the!keypad!for!writing! their! message.! They! are! doing! it,! they! are!capably! sending! a! text! message,! but! they! need! to!think!it!through!as!they!do!it.!

The!way!to!move!out!of!conscious!competence! is! to!learn! and! practice! until! you! can! do! things! without!even!needing!to!think!about!them.!

"

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4."Unconscious"Competence"

Unconscious! competence! comes! when! you! can! do!something! easily! and! effortlessly! without! even!thinking! about! it.! It! is! the! best!way! to! describe! the!competency!of!a!master.!!In!NLP!this!would!be!when!your! understanding! of! NLP! techniques! is! so! well!integrated! that! you! can! run! a! client! session! for!several!hours!without!needing!to!refer!to!a!book!or!a!manual!at!all.!This! level!of!competence!usually!only!comes!from!repeated!practice.!

An!example!of!this!would!be!someone!who!has!been!using! a! mobile! phone! for! years! and! can! do! quite!complicated!tasks!without!needing!to!think!about!it.!Imagine!someone!using!a!smart!phone!to!make!a!call!on!speaker!phone!while!they're!taking!photos!on!the!camera!and!attaching!them!to!an!email!message!–!all!at! the! same! time! without! much! conscious! thought!about!any!of!them.!!

The!hidden!danger!with!unconscious!competence! is!becoming!unconscious!about!your!behaviour!before!you!are!properly!competent.!Because!if!that!happens!then! you'll! find! yourself! consistently! making!mistakes! in! the! same! way!! That! said,! Unconscious!Competence! is! a! great! state! to! reach.!When! you! do!reach! it,! something! like! NLP! can! become! easy! and!

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effortless! which! heightens! the! enjoyment! you!receive!from!it.!

"

So"what"does"this"mean?"

Regardless! of! where! you! are! on! the! ladder! from!Unconscious! Incompetence! to! Unconscious!Competence! the! actions! are! the! same:! Learn! and!practice! NLP! every! chance! you! get.! Your! progress!depends!on! the! time!and!effort! that!you!devote! to! the!activity,!nothing!else.!

For!more! about! the!power!of! practice! it! is!well!worth!reading!the!"10,000!Hour!Rule"!that!Malcolm!Gladwell!writes! about! in! his! book,! Outliers.! He! attributes! the!success!of!The!Beatles!to!just!getting!enough!practice!–!if!it!works!for!them!then!it!can!work!for!you!too!!!


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Learning&With&Others&!

Some!people!find!that!they! learn!best!when!they! learn!by!themselves.!Many!people,!though,!find!that!learning!with! others! is! when! they! truly! get! results.! Pause! a!moment! and! ask! yourself,! "When! I! start! a! new! habit,!such! as! going! to! the! gym,! do! I! stick! at! it! longer! if! I'm!doing!it!by!myself!or!does!it!help!to!do!it!with!others?"!If! you're! someone! who! sticks! at! it! by! yourself,! this!process! of! learning! with! others! will! be! new! to! you.!However,! since! the! nature! of! NLP! involves!communication!with!others,!this!chapter!will!give!some!insight! into! how! to! go! about! doing! it! in! the! most!effective!way!possible.!

There!are! lots!of!different!approaches!to! learning!with!others.!What! is!most! important! is! that! you!begin!with!the!end! in!mind.!What! is!your!objective?!What! is! their!objective?! Will! learning! together! allow! you! both! to!achieve! your! objectives?! Remember,! even! if! the! other!person!isn't!exactly!after!the!same!outcome!as!you!are,!!there! can! still! be! benefits! from! learning! with! them.!Focus!on!what!works!and!be!prepared!to!push!yourself!outside!of!the! joint! learning!environment!as!needed.!It!is!much! easier! to! take! a! bit! of! time! to! be! clear! about!your! objective! and! expectations! of! others! at! the! start!

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rather!than!having!to!assert!yourself!part!way!into!the!learning!experience.!

Some!of!the!main!things!to!consider!when!you!decide!to!learn!something!with!someone!else!are:!

Small" Steps,"Often.!When! you! set! out! to! learn!NLP! it!may!seem!difficult!to!know!where!to!start.!The!key!isn't!to!try!and!learn!it!all! in!one!go.!Break!off!small!chunks!and! tackle! them! one! at! a! time.! As! you! start! to! gain!competency!in!the!small!chunks!then!move!onto!larger!ones.!!

Time" Available."Will! you! both! be! able! to! devote! the!same! amount! of! time?! Are! they! only! free! evenings,!whilst!you’re!only!free!during!the!day?!Do!you!want!to!work!on!this!20!hours!a!week,!whilst!they!only!want!to!spend!1!hour!on! it?! If! you're!going! to!be!able! to! learn!together!then!you're!going!to!need!a!way!to!spend!time!together!easily!and!you're!going!to!need!to!be!clear!on!how!much!time!you!will!be!spending!together.!

Place"to"Learn."Do!you!have!a!place!that!you!can!both!easily! get! to! so! that! you! can! learn! together?! Today's!technology,!with!mobiles! and!Skype,! can!make!getting!together!easier,!but!if!you!are!going!to!meet!physically!is! that! going! to! be! possible?! Are! you! geographically!close!enough!to!meet?!Can!one!of!you!host!the!meeting!every!time!or!do!you!need!to!go!to!a!shared!area,!such!


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as! the! library! or! a! café?! Depending! on! what! you! are!setting!out!to!learn,!!some!environments!are!better!than!others.! Learning! about! some! things! may! be! fine! in! a!noisy!environment!though!some!people!need!peace!and!quiet! to! learn! effectively.! Talk! together! about! which!environment!will!suit!you!both!the!best.!

Number"of"People.!Learning!with!others!doesn't!have!to!be!done!in!just!a!pair.!There!is!really!no!limit!to!the!number! of! people! that! you! could! involve,! although! as!the! numbers! grow,! leadership! becomes! important.!Having! four!or! five!people! in!your! study!group!means!that! the! group! still! meets! even! if! one! or! two! people!aren't!able! to!make! it.! If!you!want! to!work! in!a!group,!this!book!contains!a!couple!of!topics!at!the!back!that!are!great!places!to!start!with!a!group!–!to!get!started,!each!person!in!the!group!would!need!a!copy!of!the!chapter!to!be!able!to!experience!it!for!themselves.!

Set" Goals.! The! sort! of! goals! you! may! want! to! set!together! are:! meeting! regularly,! talking! while! you're!together!and!agreeing!to!leave!once!you!have!achieved!as!much!as!you!want!to!achieve.!It!is!essential!for!there!to!be!a!structure!to!the!time!spent!together.!You!could!take!it!in!turns!setting!the!structure,!it!could!be!driven!by! individual! needs! or! a! leader! of! the! group! could!decide.! It! is! a! good! idea! to! make! the! goals! known! in!advance!so!people!have!a!chance!to!prepare.!

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Role"of"Each"Person.!It!is!important!that!everyone!has!a!defined!role!in!the!group.!If!there!are!more!than!two!of! you,! it! is! a! really! good! idea! to! pair! up! as!Accountability! Buddies.! The! Accountability! Buddies!then! hold! each! other! accountable! for! small! goals.! For!example,!if!your!goal!is!to!begin!using!Rapport!actively!(you!will! read!about! this! in!a! later! chapter)! then!your!Accountability! Buddy! may! call! you! at! the! end! of! the!week!to!see!how!often!you!had!actively!used!Rapport.!If!you!hadn't!achieved!your!goal!then!you!could!work!out!what! is! going! to!happen!differently! for! you! to! achieve!your! goal! next! time.! By! keeping! yourself! accountable!your!progress!will!be!much!faster.!

Homework.! While! time! spent! learning! together! is!important,!learning!needs!to!take!place!when!you're!not!together!as!well.!For!this!reason!it!is!important!to!have!homework! that! keeps!what! you!have!been! learning! in!your!conscious!awareness.!The!more!you!practice!these!techniques! the! faster! you! will! progress! towards!becoming!Unconsciously!Competent.!!

Keep"it"Fun.!At!the!end!of!the!day!you!are!much!more!likely! to! stick! at! something! that! is! fun! and! enjoyable.!The!more!fun!and!enjoyable!you!can!make!the!learning!experience! the!easier! it!will!be.!Make!sure!you!pursue!what! you! are! curious! about! and! lean! towards! topics!that! can! be! applied! in! your! current! situation! or!


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contexts.! Even! simple! tactics,! such! as! regular! breaks!and!yummy!refreshments,!can!make!a!big!difference!to!how! much! you! look! forward! to! the! next! learning!session.!

Given!the!above!points! it! is!a!really!good! idea!to! learn!with! others.! You! can! either! hunt! out! a! group! that!already! exists! or! start! your! own.! If! you’re! joining! an!existing! group,! a! good! place! to! start! is! with! a! Google!search!or!by!calling! local!NLP!Practitioners!and!asking!if! they!know!of!any!NLP!Practice!Groups.! If!you!would!prefer! to! start!your!own! then! talk! to!your! friends!and!spread! the! word! to! find! others! who! are! interested.!Online!forums,!Facebook!Groups!and!LinkedIn!can!also!be!good!ways!to!connect!with!others!in!your!area!who!would!be!interested!in!learning!NLP!with!you.!If!you've!undertaken! an! NLP! training! course! then! fellow!participants! are! also! excellent! candidates! for! learning!with,!especially!as!you've!already!had!a!shared!learning!experience.!!

&

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Gaining&Experience&!

As! you! move! closer! to! Unconscious! Competence! it!becomes!very!important!that!you!gain!experience.!It! is!the!gaining!of!real!world!experience!that!will!move!you!to! a! place! where! you! are! subconsciously! competent!with!these!tools.!!

There! are! so! many! different! ways! to! gain! experience!when! learning! NeuroBLinguistic! Programming.! From!asking! friends! to! volunteer! or! placing! adverts! on!noticeboards!through!to!advertising!!via!paid!mediums!like!Google!Adwords!or!Facebook!Advertising.!

When!I!was!initially!looking!for!people!to!practice!with,!a! friend! suggested! I! get! in! touch! with! members! of! a!local! Internet! community.! This! may! sound! weird,! but!the! people! on! Internet! communities! often! share! the!same!strengths,!and!the!same!problems/weaknesses,!as!each!other.! ! If!you!pick!your!community!carefully!then!you!can!find!a!large!group!of!people!who!are!looking!for!the!kind!of!help!that!you!can!easily!provide!with!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming.!!

I! joined! a! community!which!was! predominately!made!up! of! 18! to! 35yr! olds! with! social! anxiety! and!nervousness! in! social! situations.! The! members! of! the!


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community!were! open! to! selfBimprovement! and!many!of! them!were! students!with! lots! of! free! time! on! their!hands.! I! found!myself! with! plenty! of! opportunities! to!treat! fears,! phobias,! anxieties! and! other! similar!problems!–!the!problems!you'll! find!available!will!vary!largely!on!your!audience.!!

Best! of! all,! Internet! communities! operate! nearly!entirely!online!so!they!have!a!strong!forum!or!website!that! most! members! will! check! daily.! You! can! easily!build! Rapport! through! the! forum! and! start! a! dialogue!with! the! members! of! the! community.! When! you!compare!the!ease!of!posting!on!a!forum!to,!for!example,!organising!a!speaking!event!at!a!local!hall!and!trying!to!drum!up!interest!in!NLP,!the!forum!idea!is!much!easier!and!more!time!efficient.!!

A! word! of! caution:! Many! Internet! communities! have!rules!about!'nothing!commercial'!so!restrict!your!posts!to!offering!things!for!free.!You!are!likely!to!have!better!results! if! you! introduce! yourself! a! few! days! prior! to!offering!something! for! free,! rather! than! if!you!come! in!and! start! posting! about! NLP! straight! away.! Many!Internet!communities!will! see! that!behaviour!as!spam.!If!you!want! to!use! this!method! to!generate!paid!work,!you!could!always!offer!a!Free!Session!initially!and!at!the!end! of! the! session! you! could! invite! them! to! future!sessions!if!they!found!time!with!you!to!be!of!benefit.!

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My!personal!experience!went!a!bit!like!this:!

Joined! a! local! Internet! community! by! filling! in!the!registration!form!on!their!online!forum.!

Posted! an! introduction!mentioning!my! interest!in! NLP.! Straight! away! I! had! a! bunch! of! NLP!centric! questions! from! people! who! were!interested.!!

A! couple! of! days! later! I! posted! that! I! wanted!people! to! practice! with! in! the! lead! up! to! my!Practitioner!Training.!!

I! replied! to! those! who! were! interested! and!scheduled!appointments!with!them!in!my!living!room.!!

Note:!There!are!many!things!to!consider!when!inviting!people!off!an!Internet!community!into!your!home.!Make!sure!you!take!appropriate!precautions!to!keep!yourself,!and!the!other!person,!safe.!!

With! these! sessions! it!was! extremely! important! that! I!set! a! frame! around! the! other! person’s! expectations.! I!did!this!by!making!clear!in!my!post!that!I!was!not!yet!a!qualified! NLP! Practitioner! and! while! I! would! do! my!very!best!to!get!them!a!good!result,!!the!reason!I!wasn't!charging!is!that!the!results!were!not!guaranteed.!I!also!


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asked!them!to!consider!a! lack!of!results!as!a!reflection!on!my!lack!of!ability,!rather!than!on!any!failings!of!NLP.!This! greatly! lowered! any!performance! anxiety! I!might!have!experienced!and!created!an!environment!where!I!felt!comfortable!to!not!succeed,!should!that!happen.!In!reality! I! found! that! success! was! my! predominate!experience!and!even!when!people!didn't!get!all!of!what!they!wanted,!they!still!found!some!improvements!from!our!time!together.!!

Following!this! formula,! I!conducted!over!100!free!NLP!Sessions! with! 40! different! people.! This! took! place!mainly! on! weekends! over! several! months! and! that!experience! was! invaluable,! not! just! in! my! use! of! NLP!but! also! with! the! finer! points! of! scheduling!appointments,! followBup/confirm! appointments,! how!much!of!a!break!I!need!between!appointments,!how!to!cut!a!session!short!if!it!goes!on!too!long,!etc.!!

When!offering!the!free!sessions!I!put!an!expiry!date!on!the!offer.!You!should!definitely!do!that!too!if!you!were!to! make! a! similar! offer,! otherwise! people! will! expect!you! to! work! for! free! forever.! I! personally! set! the!deadline!for!stopping!the!free!sessions!as!the!date!when!I!started!my!Practitioner!Course.!This!meant!that!from!the!instant!I!held!a!formal!NLP!Qualification!I!was!in!a!position! to! start! charging! for! my! work! with! a! wide!

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group!of!people!who!were!more!aware!of!NLP!and!my!skills.!

This! is! just! one! strategy,! albeit! a! strategy! that! has!worked! very! well! for! me.! If! there! is! one! thing! to!remember!from!this!chapter,!what!I!would!say!is:!

Get"as"much"experience"as"you"can"with"real"people."The"faster"you"gain"experience"the"faster"you"will"

start"to"enjoy"good"results!"

!


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NLP&Training&Options&!

If! you! start! learning! about! NeuroBLinguistic!Programming,!putting!your!new!skills!into!practice!and!enjoying!the!results!that!NLP!can!bring,!then!eventually!you!will!probably!find!yourself!looking!for!a!formal!NLP!Training! Course.! What! you! are! likely! to! find! is! that!when!you!start!looking!at!the!NLP!Training!Courses!you!will! be! presented!with!more! choices! than! you'll! know!what! to! do! with.! So,! how! do! you! work! out! which!training!course!is!right!for!you?!

As! a! general! rule,! most! Trainers! offer! a! Practitioner!Certification! in!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!as! their!basic!level!of!training.!As!you!progress!though,!they!are!also! likely! to! offer! training! as! a! Master! Practitioner.!Many! trainers! will! offer! shorter! courses! that! do! not!lead! to! any! formal! qualifications.! The! structure! is!generally!something!like!this:!

Short!Introductory!Course Practitioner!Course Master!Practitioner!Course Trainer’s!Training Master!Trainer’s!Training

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Each! level! above! Practitioner! generally! requires! the!level!below.!For!example,!to!do!Trainer’s!Training!you'd!need! to! be! a! Master! Practitioner! and! to! be! a! Master!Practitioner! you! would! need! to! already! be! a!Practitioner.! This! training! normally! has! no!prerequisites.!!

This! chapter! relates! entirely! to! Practitioner!Certification!Courses.!

As!with! everything! in!NLP,! the! key! to! getting! a! result!that!you!want!is!to!begin!with!the!end!in!mind.!What!is!your!purpose!in!getting!trained?!!

! Do! you! want! certification! so! that! you! can!begin! professionally! using! NLP! as! a!Coach/Therapist?

! Do!you!want!the!certificates!to!place!on!your!wall?!

! Do! you! want! to! fill! in! the! gaps! in! your!knowledge?

! Do!you!want!a!new!source!of!income? ! Do!you!want! the! chance! to! try! it!with!other!

people!and!experience!it!for!yourself?! ! Do!you!want!to!help!people? ! Is!it!a!requirement!of!your!insurance? ! Or! is! your! purpose! something! else!

altogether?


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Whatever!your!purpose! is,! the!key! is! to!be!clear!about!your! purpose! up! front! and! to! evaluate! your! choices!based!on!your!requirements.!

With! that! said,! there! are! several! general! criteria! that!can! be! useful! when! deciding! on! whether! a! training!course! is!going!to!work!for!you.!You!will!often!be!able!to! answer! these! questions! for! yourself,! when! you!carefully! read! through! their!marketing!material,! but! if!in!doubt,!it!is!well!worth!asking!the!following!questions!before! you! put! any! money! down,! so! you! are! sure! of!what!you!are!getting.!

What"does"it"cost?"

The!costs!of! courses! in!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!Courses! vary!widely! between! trainers.! For! the! course!alone,! you!would! expect! to!pay! roughly!AUD$2,500! to!AUD$5,000!in!Australia,!or!£1,300!to!£1,900!in!the!U.K.!!This!will!normally! include!the! live!training!component!and!a!preBstudy!kit!made!up!of!audio!CDs,!books!and!a!manual.!

The! course! cost! usually! does! not! include! your!flights/transport,! accommodation! or! food! during! the!course.! It! is! important! to! take! this! into! consideration,!especially!if!taking!a!course!in!a!different!state/country!to! your! home.! It! is! also! normal! for! there! to! be! an!

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additional! registration! cost! for! registration! with! the!various!boards!after!completing!the!training.!

An!expensive!course!is!not!necessarily!any!better!than!a!less!expensive!course.!You!may! find! that!an!expensive!course!is!hosted!in!a!fancy!hotel,!while!a!less!expensive!course! is! held! in! a! more! basic! training! centre! or! the!trainer's!house.!Both!scenarios!have!their!advantages!–!just!make!sure!you!know!which!to!expect!and!whether!it!meets!your!outcome.!

Payment!is!normally!taken!in!the!form!of!a!deposit!and!then!a!final!payment!prior!to!the!course!commencing.!It!is!normal!for!the!preBstudy!pack!to!only!be!dispatched!following! the! payment! of! the! deposit.! Some! training!organisations! may! offer! payment! plans! –! if! this! suits!you!best!then!be!sure!to!ask!when!you!come!to!making!your!booking.!!

How"much"time"does"it"involve?"

This!will! vary! largely!between! courses!but! it! is! a! very!important!point! to!be!clear!on.!For!many!courses! they!will! require!you!to!do!two!types!of! training:!preBstudy!and! live! training.! PreBstudy! is! normally! a! matter! of!listening! to! audio! CDs,! watching! DVDs! and! reading!books! or! manuals.! Live! training! courses! on! the! other!hand! will! normally! include! demonstrations! of! the!processes! and! the! chance! to! use! the! processes! with!


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yourself!and!other!students.!A! live!training!course!will!normally!last!from!seven!to!fifteen!days.!!

You! will! often! need! to! allow! a! significant! amount! of!time! for! preBstudy,! sometimes! as! much! as! 40! to! 80!hours.!What!this!means!is!that!you!will!need!to!have!the!preBstudy!pack!well! in!advance,!along!with!the!time!to!complete! it,! if! you! are! going! to! be! able! to! prepare!properly!for!the!live!training!course.!This!is!something!to! keep! in! mind! when! looking! for! a! course! –! you!probably! want! a! course! that! is! at! least! a! few!months!away,!as!the!preBstudy!pack!will!keep!you!nice!and!busy!between!now!and!then.!

What" about" entirely" Internet" based" training"courses?""

While!it!is!possible!to!do!your!NLP!Practitioner!entirely!over! the! Internet,! it! is! unlikely! that! your! qualification!will! be! recognised!by! any!of! the!NLP!Boards.!There! is!also!a!lot!to!be!said!for!the!experience!that!you!will!gain!by! learning! NLP! and! using! it! with! others.! That! being!said,! these! types! of! courses! do! have! their! benefits.!!Consider! the! flexibility! of! being! able! to! study! at! your!own! pace,! and! having! the! opportunity! to! go! back! and!review!any!technique!whenever!you!want,! rather! than!having! to! fit! in!with!a!group’s! learning!needs!during!a!live! training! course.! Also,! in! many! cases,! you! get! the!same! access! to! students! through! online! forums! and!

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chats.!!!If!you!are!struggling!with!the!time!commitment!of! a! live! training! course,! or! you’re! not! sure! if!certification!is!something!that!is!essential!to!you,!online!learning!may!suit!your!needs!perfectly.!!

More! and! more! options! are! becoming! available! that!utilise!a!mixture!of!Internet!based!and!live!training.!As!the!technology!improves,!this!may!well!prove!to!be!the!best!and!most!cost!effective!way!to!learn!NLP.!

What"will"the"qualifications"I"am"given"at"the"end"of"the"course"mean?"

Most! NLP! courses! will! result! in! you! receiving! a!certificate! for!completing!the!course.!This!certificate! is!only! valuable! if! it! contributes! to! achieving! your!outcome.! Different! Boards! exist! in! most! countries!around! the! world,! and! normally! the! certificate! will!certify! you! to! the! standard! required! for! Board!Membership.!Membership!of!a!Board!ensures! that!you!are!kept!up! to!date!with! industry!news!and!often!will!give! you! access! to! Insurance! and! further! training!opportunities.!

Most!Boards!of!NLP!have!a!requirement!for!a!minimum!amount! of! training! time! for! them! to! recognise! your!training!course!and!allow!you! to!become!a!member.! If!membership! of! a! Board! is! important! to! you! then! find!


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out! the! Board! requirements! first! and! make! sure! the!training!you!are!considering!will!meet!them.!!

Who"is"conducting"the"training?"

The! trainer! has! an! incredibly! important! role! in! your!learning! experience.! It! may! seem! hard! to! believe,! but!often! with! larger! companies! the! trainer! teaching! the!course! isn't! the! trainer! who! is! advertised! in! their!marketing!material.!Often!someone!else!will! train!you,!especially!at!the!Practitioner!Training.!Prior!to!making!your!booking,!it!is!a!really!simple!question!to!ask,!"Who!will!be!taking!the!training!that!I!am!considering?".!!

Sometimes!multiple! trainers! also! run! the! training.! For!example,!many!training!courses!exist!where!a!husband!and! wife! pair! coBteach! the! course.! Some! trainers! also!bring! in!specialists! for!certain!parts!of! the!curriculum.!Make!sure! that! the!Trainers! that!you!will!be! receiving!training!from!are!credible,!are!respected!in!the!field!and!are!experts!at!what!they!do.!This!can!be!easily!verified,!once!you!have!the!Trainers'!name,!with!a!quick!Google!search,!by!asking!on!forums!or!talking!to!past!students.!

How"many"other"students"will"I"be"in"a"room"with?"

An!NLP!training!course!is!a!very!different!environment!if! there! are! two! people! there! or! one! hundred.! Many!companies! will! be! reluctant! to! tell! you! how! many!

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people!will!be!at!the!training!as!numbers!can!so!easily!fluctuate,!though!it!is!a!perfectly!legitimate!question!to!ask! how! many! people! they! have! had! at! past! training!courses.!!

Generally! speaking,! a! smaller! number! of! students! is!much! better! if! you! enjoy! asking! questions! and! would!like! your! individual! issues! to! be! addressed.! A! larger!number! of! students! is! excellent! if! you're! interested! in!working! with! a! wide! variety! of! people! and! extending!your!network.!!

Another! question! to! ask,! especially! if! the! training! is!going! to! be! for! more! than! 20! people,! is! how! many!training!assistants!they!will!have!in!attendance.!!

What"support"is"provided?"

This! is! a! really! important! question.! Find! out! whether!you! can! call! the! office! and! ask! questions! if! you! get!stuck.! Or! don't! they! have! the! time! for! that?!Will! they!talk! to! you! about! situations! you! have! with! clients,! or!are! you! on! your! own! after! the! training! ends?!Do! they!have! online! forums! for! staying! in! touch! with! your!fellow! students! after! the! training! has! concluded?!Inevitably! there!will!be!situations! in! the! future!where,!no!matter!how!good!the!training!was,!you'll!have!extra!questions.!If!support! is!available!following!the!training!this! leaves!you!in!a!much!stronger!place!to!become!an!


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excellent! Practitioner.! And! as! importantly,! support!before! the! training! can! really! help! you! fully! learn! the!preBstudy!material! so! from!Day! 1! you! are! keeping! up!with!what!is!being!taught.!

What"is"their"refund"policy?"

Before!you!commit!to!anything!or!make!any!payments,!make! sure! you! know!what! the! refund! policy! is.!Many!training! companies! do! not! offer! refunds! of! deposits!after!certain!dates.!If!there!is!even!the!slightest!chance!you!may! not! be! free! on! the! dates! of! the! training! then!make! sure! they! have! a! refund! policy! before! spending!any!money.!It! is!a!smart! idea!to!ask!for!a!copy!of!their!refund! policy,! or! print! it! off! from! their!website! at! the!time!of!purchase,!so!that!if!you!need!to!refer!back!to!it!you!can.!

"

"

"

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"

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"

Talk"to"the"NLP"Community"

At! the! end! of! the! day! asking! questions! of! the! training!company!is!just!one!way!to!determine!which!training!is!right! for! you.! Another! valuable! approach! is! to! ask!questions!of!others!in!the!NLP!Community.!The!largest!Online! NLP! Community,! at! time! of! writing,! is! NLP!Connections.! It! is! free! to! join! and! very! easy! to! check!reviews! about! a! trainer! you're! considering,! for!suggestions! of! training! courses! in! your! area! or! to!search!for!what!has!been!said!in!the!past.!Their!website!is:!www.nlpconnections.com!!


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Where&to&from&here?&!

Now!that!you!have!all!basics!of!NLP,!the!next!step!is!to!practice.! ! Each! of! the! chapters! contain! enough!information! to!keep!you!going! for!weeks,!and! the!way!to! become! subconsciously! competent! at! NLP! is! to! go!out! in! the! world! and! use! it! in! as! many! situations! as!possible.!!!

There!is!a!fair!bit!of!information!in!this!book.!!A!lot!of!it!will! take! time! to! remember.! ! And! some! of! it! you!will!begin!to!use!subconsciously!without!ever!being!able!to!describe!the!particular!technique!that!you’ve!perfected.!!The!most!important!component!of!your!success!is!your!continuous! curiosity.! ! In! Modelling,! you! will! find!yourself!sometimes!wondering!what!on!earth!someone!could! possibly! be! doing! that! is! replicable! enough! for!you! to! produce! the! same! behaviour.! ! However,! if! you!can!remain!curious!about!things!you!may!not!know!yet,!and! you! continue! to! be! hungry! for! more! knowledge,!you! will! find! the! answers! you! need.! ! If! you! remain!inquisitive! about! things! that! interest! you,! and! your!desire! to! replicate,! you!will! always!be! curious! enough!to!get!the!models!you!want.!

The!Metal!Model!is!packed!with!specifics,!and!there!is!a!lot! to! remember.! ! The! more! you! practice! using! the!

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patterns,! and! continue! listening! and! questioning!what!the!applications!are!of!this!model,!you!will!always!find!uses!for! it.! !The!more!curious!you!get!about!when!and!how! this!model! can! be! used,! and! how! subtly! you! can!use!it,!the!better!at!it!you!will!be.! !The!Milton!Model!is!probably!one!of! the!most!useful! tools! you! can!have! in!terms!of!influence.!!When!you!take!the!time!to!use!it!in!your!everyday!conversations,!and!you!get!curious!about!where!others!might!benefit!from!it,!you!will!be!ahead!of!the!pack.! !When!you!give!yourself! the!edge!with! these!patterns!you!will!be!well!on!your!journey!to!becoming!a!powerful!communicator.!!

Anchoring! is!a!skill! that! takes!practice.! !You!will!begin!to! see! how! applicable! it! is! to! your! everyday! life! once!you!start! to!question!and!notice!all! the! things! that!are!already! anchors! for! you! in! your! daily! life.! ! Keep!questioning! when! and! how! you! can! use! this! to! your!advantage,! and! before! long! you!will! see! opportunities!everywhere.!

You! already! know! how! to! use! Rapport! and! Sensory!Acuity! whether! you’re! conscious! of! it! or! not.! ! You!already!know!how!to!tell! if!someone!is!upset!based!on!their!body!language!and!facial!expression.!!You!already!know! that! you! like! people! who! are! like! you,! and! you!trust! people! that! you! like.! ! Now! the! question! is,! how!will! you! take! these! skills! to! a!new! level?! !What!will! it!


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take!for!you!to!be!100%!confident!with!gaining!instant!Rapport! with! others?! Continuing! to! be! curious! about!different! instances!where!Rapport! and! Sensory!Acuity!are! vital! will! give! you! the! opportunity! to! use! them!where!others!may!not.!

The! key! to! all! of! this! is! your! continued! stubborn!curiosity.!!Continue!to!question!the!applicability!and!the!finer! points! of! these! basic! principles.! ! After! all,! this! is!just!the!tip!of!the!iceberg!!

I! invite! you! to! practice! any! time! you! can.! ! Practice!Rapport! the!next! time!you!get!coffee,!or!check! in! for!a!flight,! or! talk! to! a! stranger! on! the! train.! ! When! your!friends!are!telling!you!about!a!problem!they!are!having,!try! out! your! Meta! Model! questions,! or! why! not! use!some! Milton! Model! language! patterns! to! create!agreement?! ! Anchor! your! most! powerful! states,! and!give! yourself! a! secret! weapon! in! meetings! or! when!talking!to!new!people,!or!doing!something!that!you!find!uncomfortable.! ! Try! your! hand! at! Modelling! someone!who! gets! the! results! you! want.! ! Question! them,! and!figure! out! how! to! replicate!what! they! do.! ! If! they! can!have!success!at!it,!there!is!not!reason!why!you!can’t!also!produce!that!behaviour!and!those!results!also.!

And!here’s!a!secret:!you!will!screw!this!up!sometimes.!!Any!time!we!step!into!the!unknown!and!try!something!new,!we!risk!falling!on!our!faces,!and!making!complete!

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fools! of! ourselves.! ! We’ve! all! been! there,! and! to! my!knowledge,! no! one! has! died! from! failing! at! their! first!attempt.!!If!anything,!that!failure!the!first!time!made!the!second! try! all! that! more! important,! and! so! much!sweeter.! These! processes! and! patterns! take! time! to!perfect,! but! remember! to! have! fun!whilst! doing! it.! ! If!you!come!up!against!some!resistance,!take!the!feedback!and!try!again.!You!will!find!that!99%!of!people!have!no!idea!what!you!are!doing,!and!they!will!get!great!benefit!from!their! interactions!with!you.! !They’ll! feel!closer! to!you,!and!they!won’t!even!know!why.!!How!great!is!that?!

Finally,! GOOD! LUCK!! I! trust! that! you! will! be! great! at!using!these!techniques!in!no!time,!and!I!will!be!hearing!about!your!exciting!discoveries!and!success! in!no!time!at!all.!!I!invite!you!to!share!your!knowledge!with!others!wherever!possible,!and!continue!to!have!fun!with!it!!

!

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A&word&of&warning...&!

While!many!people!will!point!you!towards!books!about!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming,! the! truth! is...! you!can't!get!good!at!NLP!by!reading!BOOKS!alone.!

It's! true,!you!could! learn! from!a!book...!BUT!it's!a!very!SLOW!way!of!learning.!

For!a!start,!a!book!can't!give!you!feedback,!and!tell!you!how! you're! doing.! Without! feedback,! how! will! you!know!your!mistakes,!and!where!you!need!to!improve?!

Also,!a!book!can't!keep!you!motivated.!It!can't!give!you!a! pat! on! the! back!when! you're! doing!well,! or! a! gentle!nudge!when! you! need! a! little! push! to! take! you! to! the!next!level.!

Books! don't! have! a! vested! interest! in! seeing! you!succeed.!

You"need"something"MORE..."

Listen...! if! you! want! to! get! really! good,! you! need!someone!who!can!give!you...!

(a)!the!TRAINING!you!need!to!get!the!NLP!skills,!

(b)!the!FEEDBACK!to!tell!you!how!you're!doing,!and!

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(c)!the!MOTIVATION"to!keep!you!going!through!those!bumpy!patches.!

That!is!where!I!come!in.!

I've! been! studying! NLP! for! years! now,! and! I'd! like! to!share!what!I've!learned!with!you,!and!help!YOU!to!gain!these! skills.! And!when! I! say! 'gain! these! skills',! I! don't!mean!in!the!way!you!gain!skills!at!school!or!university.!I!want!you!to!truly!gain!these!skills!B!to!go!beyond!simply!knowing!about!them,!so!that!you!can!actually!use!them!and!get!results!with!them!!

And! for! that! reason,! I'd! like! to! be! YOUR! NLP! Trainer!and! help! you! achieve! what! you! want! to! achieve.! To!reward!you!for!sticking!to!it,!I!would!like!to!give!you!a!free! gift! when! you! sign! up! to! a! Confident! Future!training!course.!!Please!go!to!confidentfuture.com.au!for!our! next! training! dates.! Once! you! have! made! your!booking! please! email! [email protected]!with!your!name!and!the!training!that!you!have!booked!and! we! will! arrange! for! you! to! receive! your! free! gift!ASAP.!

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About&the&Author&!

Lloyd! is! passionate! about! NLP! and! how! it! can! be!applied! in! business,! education! and! therapy.! He!regularly!runs!NLP!Training!courses!around!the!world!in! locations! including! Australia,! England,! the! Channel!Islands,!South!Africa!and!Thailand.!

Lloyd! began! teaching! himself! about! NLP! from! books!and! websites! in! 2008.! During! 2009! Lloyd! discovered!his! willingness! to! experiment! with! the! tools! and!techniques!that!he!was!learning!about.!Lloyd!has!since!formalised!his!studies!and!become!a!Trainer!of!NLP.!

Lloyd!is!certified!as!a:!

B!Trainer!of!NeuroBLinguistic!Programming!!(Certified, by, the, American, Board, of, NeuroFLinguistic,

Porgramming, and, the, Australian, Board, of, NeuroF

Linguistic,Programming)!

B!Trainer!of!Hypnotherapy!!(Certified,by,the,American,Board,of,Hypnotherapy) B!Time!Line!Therapy!Trainer!!(Certified,by,the,Time,Line,Therapy,Association)

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B!Trainer!of!NLP!Coaching!(Certified, by, the, Coaching, Division, of, the, American,

Board,of,NeuroFLinguistic,Programming) This! book! has! been! created! with! the! intention! of!sharing!with!you!the!secrets!to!learning!NLP.!One!of!the!biggest!challenges!in!life!and!learning!is!knowing!where!to! start! –! picking! a! good! book! or! seminar! can! lead! to!years! of! learning! and! joy,! while! not! choosing! a! good!resource! can!mean! you! don’t! get! as!much! out! of! it! as!you!probably!could!have.!All!I!hope!is!that!you've!found!this! book! useful,! and! overall! that! you've! enjoyed! the!introduction!to!NLP!that!it!provides!!

To!your!success,!

Lloyd A. Johnson Lloyd!Johnson!

!

STOP! You’re!probably!wondering!–!where!is!the!free!

Introduction,to,NLP!DVD,!valued!at!$97?!

To!claim!your!DVD!just!follow!this!link!and!I!will!get!you!your!copy!!

http://www.confidentfuture.com.au/nlpBdvd/!

The Secrets to Learning NLP by Lloyd Johnson v2

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Transcript of The Secrets to Learning NLP by Lloyd Johnson v2