The Pulse 11.12 » March 20, 2014

The PulseCHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE MARCH 20, 2014

interactive art | okinawa | grand piano

WineThe

IssueOrdering and buying wine demystified for us all

2 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • march 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

brewer media groupPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

ediToriaLmanaging Editor mike mcJunkin

contributing Editor Janis hashe

art Direction & Design gary Poole

contributorsRich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVoreJanis hashe • matt Jones • sandra Kurtzmarc T. michael • ernie Paik • gary Poole

michelle Richards • alex Teach • michael Thomas

Editorial Internsmadeline chambliss • Dea lisica • leith Tigges

cartoonists & IllustratorsRick Baldwin • Tom Tomorrow

Photographer/WebmasterJosh lang

Founded 2003 by Zachary cooper & Michael Kull

adVerTiSiNgDirector of Sales mike Baskin

account Executives chee chee Brown • Julie Brown

lisa Dicaire • Rick leavell • leif sawyerstacey Tyler • Jerry Ware

CoNTaCT Offices

1305 carter st., chattanooga, Tn 37402Phone

423.265.9494Website

chattanoogapulse.comEmail

[email protected]

[email protected]

VoicesSaNDra KUrTZ: TVA needs to rethink our energy future

aLEX TEach: Working the job he deserves

FeaturesDINING OUT: Nectar of the gods—and food to match

mUSIc: Okinawa is psychedelic with precision

NEW mUSIc rEVIEWS: Family Fodder, Leah Gardner

ScrEEN: Playing for time in “Grand Piano”

FrEE WILL aSTrOLOGY

JONESIN' crOSSWOrD

HappeningsBEGINNINGS: The poor next door, part two... A fresh new look to The Pulse

LIVE mUSIc caLENDar

arTS & ENTErTaINmENT caLENDar

MARCH

201420 Contents

PUBLIc

TraNSPOrTaTION

next Week in The pulse

SoMMeLier SecretSOrdering and buying wine demystified for us all

By Michelle Richards

THe FiNe priNT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. contents copyright © 2014 by Brewer media. all rights reserved.

By Rich Bailey

poSSiBiLitieS FroM FaiLUreAshley Hamilton is queering painting

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 12

Sponsored by:

ART CAR BALLFriday, April 4th, Miller Plaza 7-10pmEat, Drink, & Dance! Trophies for Most Creative Attire! Follow Proceeds Benefit Art 120: Our Youth Programs


The Pulse ran a story about our city’s shocking poverty rate a couple of years ago, and as far as I can remember, it didn’t even generate comments on the website. Poverty is not sexy. Poverty is not Chattanoo-ga-Chattanooga-rah-rah-rah. But it exists, and without confronting it, and the reasons for it, it will continue to be a black eye for a city that likes to see itself as reborn.

The NYT article quotes a number of statistics for the whole U.S., noting the changes in the poor since 1979. They are much more likely to have some high school or even college education. And they are older—

the Great Reces-sion disappeared a huge number of jobs that have not come back, will never come back, and these older workers are now, and likely forever, underemployed.

Quotes Greenhouse: “Chattanooga has a twofold problem: the low level of educational attainment and the traditional jobs that these people move into have largely disappeared,” said Matthew N. Murray, an economist at the University of Tennessee. Greenhouse notes, “Just 23 percent of Tennessee adults have a bachelor’s degree.”

But as his article points out, even a college degree is not a magic wand for some. A neighbor and good friend of mine, a highly intelligent woman with a B.S. in psy-chology, has been working at Walmart for the last four years, unable to find a better-paying job that would uti-lize her skills. She is the sole caretaker for her mother, who has multiple medical problems.

The Internet is also ablaze with comments about another Chattanooga woman living in poverty, Katrina Gilbert, profiled in the HBO documentary based on the Shriver Report, “Paycheck to Paycheck.” (See The Pulse’s Screen feature, Mar. 13.)

There are things we can do, and do now. Chattanooga needs a vocational school, and it needs one now—yet that is not one of the proposals on the table in the re-

cently released list of new schools be-ing considered by the school board and country commission. The Tennessee legislature needs to stop making ri-diculous claims about Common Core being a “federal takeover of schools” and recognize that if Tennessee kids don’t start achieving more, the state (and Chattanooga) will continue to fall further behind. Instead of screech-ing about how an increased minimum wage will cause the economy to tank once again, conservatives need to pay attention to studies such as the one highlighted in a Washington Post ar-ticle of Jan. 14, 2014.

Writes reporter Mike Konczal about a study by University of Massachu-setts at Amherst economist Arin Dube, “Let’s first highlight the major results. Dube uses the latest in minimum-wage statistics and finds a negative re-lationship between the minimum wage and poverty. Specifically, raising the minimum wage 10 percent (say from $7.25 to near $8) would reduce the number of people living in poverty 2.4 percent…

“Using this as an estimate, raising the minimum wage to $10.10 an hour, as many Democrats are proposing in 2014, would reduce the number of peo-ple living in poverty by 4.6 million. It would also boost the incomes of those at the 10th percentile by $1,700. That’s a significant increase in the quality of life for our worst off that doesn’t re-quire the government to tax and spend a single additional dollar.”

How if we think about the idea that “No Chattanoogan Left Behind” should be a city motto? We could do worse. We are doing worse, right now.

NewS • ViewS • raNTS • raVeSupdaTeS » chaTTanoogaPulse.com FaCebook/chaTTanoogaPulse

EmaIL loVe leTTeRs, aDVIce & TRash TalK To [email protected]

The Poor Next Door, Part TwoB

EGIN

NIN

GS

IN THE MIDST OF THE CONTINUED BACK-PATTING about Chattanooga’s renaissance, in the middle of the city’s accolades as a paradise for outdoors living, there are

a few hard truths that quite a few people are very reluctant to take a closer look at.

Poverty is not sexy. Poverty is not Chattanooga-Chattanooga-rah-rah-rah. But it exists.”

“

PoliticsJANIS HASHE

They’re going to need to take the blinders off, because the New York Times just put one of them front and center in a story published Mar. 16 by Steven Greenhouse called “Low Wage Workers Are Finding Poverty Harder to Escape.”

In it, he profiles a number of working poor Chattanoogans—all of whom are making less that the $10.10 per hour President Obama wants to make the minimum wage.

Writes Greenhouse, “In Chattanooga, the prevalence of low-wage jobs has contributed to the high poverty rate: 27 percent of the city’s residents live below the poverty line, compared with 15 percent nationwide. Women head about two-thirds of the city’s poor households, and 42 percent of its children are poor, nearly double the rate statewide.”

Picking up needed food from the Chattanooga Area Food Bank.


Film writer John DeVore has spent a significant portion of his life in dark the-

aters. From an early age, he was drawn to strong storytell-ing brought to life through the magic of the silver screen. With degrees in both literature and education, John has keen

insight into critical theory and a genuine desire to educate audiences on the finer points of film appreciation. His favorite films transcend genre—quality storytelling and respect for the intelligence of the audience will win him over every time. When not watching and writingabout film, John spends his time writing his own stories and exposing his children to the wonders of movie magic.

John DeVore

You may have noticed as you've browsed through the pages of The Pulse this week that some things look a bit different. With the coming of Spring, we've decided to do some spring cleaning and freshen up the place a bit, so to speak.

Since The Pulse was founded elev-en years ago, we have always striven to stay on the forefront of newspaper de-sign. Styles change, typefaces change, what people want read and see change, and we have to change with the times.

So, we are quite proud (and a bit nervous) to present the fresh new look

of The Pulse to you this week.All of your favorite columnists will

still be with us—Alex Teach, Dr. Rick, Sandy Kurtz, Mike Dobbs—and all of the excellent writers and review-ers you've come to rely on for the best coverage of arts, music, movies and more will still be here as well.

In fact, we've also expanded our coverage of musics, arts and film to better serve you, the reader. And we are also welcoming back to our pages the talents of editorial cartoonist Rick Baldwin, a long time local favorite.

We hope you enjoy the fresh look.

Refreshing For Spring

EdiToonby Rick Baldwin

IN T

HIS

ISSU

E

Our cover story this week—about all things wine—is written by a newcomer to

our pages, someone who knows a lot about wine, Michelle Richards. Michelle is a certified sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. Along with hosting wine tastings for

local organizations, she is the sommelier and a manager at St. John's Restaurant and St. John's Meeting Place. Michelle crafted well-received wine events such as Daring Pairings and Canvas & Decanter. She also created and implemented wine education programs at St. John's Restaurant, St. John's Meeting Place, and Alleia. You can contact her by email at [email protected]

Check out our great selection of wine,

spirits & high gravity beer.

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile...

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113423.877.1787

At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the

Bi-Lo Shopping Center

Michelle Richards


When it comes down to staying alive, it’s all about energy. With-out energy, we cease to exist. Our sun star is the prime energy source enabling life on this plan-et. It empowers plants to grow, wind to blow and has provided us energy-rich coal, natural gas and oil.

Even radio-active uranium used for nuclear power came from exploding super-novae in our solar system as Earth and other plan-ets were forming. Another major source of energy is moving water. Water didn’t come to Earth di-rectly from the sun. It was likely locked up in our basic rocks, sup-

plemented by asteroids crash-ing into Earth with their watery payload. Still, solar energy causes water to move through the plants

to produce food. It also powers the water cycle for cloud-making and rain.

Comfort-seek-ing humans have cleverly figured out how to use in-direct solar energy sources. Grown men (women, too) throw hissy fits if the power goes off or the price of gas

causes any inconvenience. Unfortunately, those same en-

ergy sources are now damaging the very ecosystem from whence they came. The burning of fossil fuels and the release of nuclear

radiation to produce electricity, move our vehicles, and manu-facture our amenities is fouling our nest. That makes it harder to breathe clean air, drink pure water, eat healthy food and avoid disease. It’s time for a new plan.

Tennessee Valley Authority is creating a new Integrated Re-source Plan (IRP) to set power generating guidelines for the fu-ture. TVA generates electricity and sends it to distributors who then deliver it to you.

Right now, TVA generates electricity using water (11 per-cent), coal (36 percent), nuclear (20 percent), and gas (24 per-cent). About 6 percent is pur-chased from other providers. Renewables, such as solar and wind, plus energy efficiency and energy demand make up only 3 percent of the entire mix.

Within that pitifully low num-ber lies opportunity to rethink how energy is generated. Yet TVA seems reluctant to seriously increase use of renewables and efficiency even though they are the cheapest and quickest to put in place.

Instead, TVA has proffered suggestions to increase the per-centage of nuclear to 41 percent as coal is reduced to 29 percent.

That continues to lock TVA into business as usual, when the agency’s continued existence re-quires change.

Consider these facts: First, even though several coal-fired power plant units are being closed, TVA has more capacity than it needs to meet demand.

Second, the Chattanooga re-gion has the most risk from nu-clear radiation and its radioactive waste legacy in the Tennessee Valley. Further, none of the IRP scenarios currently being con-sidered include thinking about safety or health of citizens who must bear the impacts of dirty air, water, soil, and radiation.

Here’s a better way: Aim for an IRP vision with 35 percent renewables. Begin a transition phasing out coal and nuclear generation in favor of solar, wind,

and energy efficiency. TVA has already committed to closing 18 of their coal-fired units (2,728 megawatts). Take advantage of Clean Line Energy Partners, the business establishing transmis-sion lines to bring 3500 mega-watts of wind power to TVA. Move away from nuclear.

In light of Fukushima Daichi nuclear meltdowns with 150,000 Japanese permanently evacuated from their homes and increased cancer rates, close accident-prone Browns Ferry Reactor 1(1100 Megawatts).

Do not relicense Sequoyah. In-stead, quadruple energy efficien-cy programs through distributors. Buy into solar. The Solar Energy Industries Association reports that 92 percent of all new elec-trical generation in Tennessee in 2013 came from solar installa-tions. Increase solar incentives to support the burgeoning Tennes-see solar industry.

Demand that TVA invest in a sustaining and safe future for the Valley. It can be done.

Rethinking TVA's Energy Future“Increase solar incentives to support the burgeoning Tennessee solar industry.”

Sandra Kurt is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Cen-tury Institute. Visit her website at enviroedu.net

Coal is being phased out, but current plans do not include phasing in more renewable, cleaner energy sources. Speak up about it.

Shades of Green

SANDRA KURTZ

join us at STRATTON HALL3146 Broad St, Chattanooga, TN

Come see the latest fashions from

Frankie & Julian’s

MARCH 20-22BOUT|QUE BRANDS UP TO 90% OFF!! facebook.com/WarehouseBoutiqueSale 330 Frazier Ave | Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 | 423.266.0585 | plumnellyshop.com

GIFTS • HOME • BRIDAL • JEWELRY

unique gifts for all your gift

giving needsChattanooga’s

Home for locally made

jewelry, pottery, art, glassware

and so much more...

Glassware: Prentice Hicks • Chattanooga, Tennessee


NEW!1 Mile Fun Run

Chattanooga State

5KAPRIL 5

@ 2 PM

Amnicola Campus

1 MILE $25

$355K

ALL net proceeds will be used LOCALLY to bene�t people with disabilities.

M-Th 5-9:30pm • Fri-Sat 5-10pm

1278 market st • 423.266.4400

stjohnsrestaurant.com

Wine Spectator Award of Excellence

2004-2013


SecretsSommelierRevealed!

of the

my friends shared their frustrations with ordering wine in a restaurant. But choosing wine doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.

Recently,

L et’s begin with the wine list. It’s common to be intimidated, confused or overwhelmed by the wine list. Here’s a tip: Take your time. There is no rush in choosing a wine, especially if it is for a special occasion. Don’t let the server or sommelier rush you. I am a sommelier, or wine steward: a trained professional constantly increasing my knowledge of wine, beer, and spirits.

Yet what does that mean, exactly? Or better yet, what exactly does a sommelier do?Well, the biggest and most important thing for a sommelier is to provide excellent service, knowledge and to create an amazing dining experience. We look at it as an adventure in finding out what you like. In my opinion, the best sommeliers can recommend wine in all price ranges. I personally don’t work on commission—I work to find the bottle best suited to my guest.As a diner, the first thing I do when I look at a wine list is decide whether I want to drink wine to pair with the food or just to enjoy on its own. If I want to pair my food, I look for the appropriate style of wine that best suits the dish. I always say, “Pair the dominant element of the dish with the dominant element of the wine.” For example, one of my favorite pairings is barbecue with Zinfandel. (No, not white Zinfandel—red Zinfandel.) Zinfandel is a red grape variety typically grown in California. Tasting notes include: jammy, berry fruit (raspberry, black cherry, blackberry, cassis, blueberry) as well as black pepper, vanilla, and smoke. Barbecue has a great combination of smoky and sweet—just like Zinfandel.

A few simple tools can help you have a more enjoyable wine experience.

by Michelle Richardsphotos by Josh Lang

» p10


DeBarge Winery is the first and only urban winery in Chattanooga. The winery operates within a historic brick building on Rossville Ave., behind the Main Street Fire Station 1 nestled in the heart of the up-and-coming Southside district.

DeBarge Vineyards & WineryAn Urban Winery• Open Tuesday through Sunday • Free Tastings• Business/Special Event Space • Gift boxes/baskets• Located on the Southsidedebargewines.com423-710-8426

If I just want to enjoy a nice bottle of wine, then I decide whether I am in the mood for white or red, followed by what type of grape variety I want—Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Syrah, etc. If I do not know what type of grape I want, I tell the sommelier or server what style of body, ranging from light to fullbodied, and flavor profile, ranging from fruity to earthy. This can really help the server or som-melier when narrowing down the list. If I don’t know at all what I want to drink that night, I tell the server or sommelier what I typically drink.

There are a lot of wine descriptors out there that are confusing and can be misconstrued, which is why it is best to just to explain what you typi-cally enjoy. They will either find you that exact style of wine or they will take those flavors and introduce you to something new. This is where the adventure happens for me. It’s like

buying the perfect birthday present. It is perfect for that person because they never even knew it even existed.

More about the wine list

If all else fails, here is how you navi-gate the wine list. Champagnes and sparkling wines start at the top and are typically in order of price or body style; again, as in light to fullbodied. As you scan further down the page, you will have your white and then red wines. They will either be in order of price, body style, grape variety, or any combination of the three. However, there is a trap waiting for you when you scroll through the inexpensive bottles. The second inexpensive bottle is probably a “not so good” wine. Res-


taurants realize that insecure customers pick the second-least expensive bottle of wine to hide their lack of knowledge. So, they often put a bottle that is more inex-pensive than the first wine listed because it will give them the highest profit margin.

If you are feeling adventurous, pick out a grape variety you have never heard of. If you’re interested in a sweeter white wine, but are wanting to step outside of Riesling, try Torrontes, Chenin Blanc, or Gewurztraminer. If you enjoy spicier red wines, but are tired of Malbec, try Aglianico, Zinfandel or Tempranillo.

And then there’s buying wine

People frequently visit the wine store to pick up a bottle of wine for dinner, special occasions, or sometimes to cellar. When consumers walk through those doors, they are immediately bombarded with wine labels and catchy signs. As they travel down the many rows of wine bottles, each bottle is labeled differently. Some of the labels are very simply done, while oth-ers are extravagant and eye-catching.

According to the book Wine Wars by Michael Veseth, “Wine is a mystery to most customers. They have little con-fidence in their ability to tell what’s in the bottle as they stare at the wine wall or puzzle over a restaurant wine list. Some of them are adventurous and treat it as a treasure hunt game, but far too many buy the same thing over and over again or worse, walk away in frustration buying nothing at all.”

The first rule of thumb in buying wine is to find a wine store that you are com-fortable in and that has a well-trained staff. Most wine shops are organized by country or grape variety. You have to decide which style works best for you. There might be something new that just came into the store that only an employee might know about. In some wine shops around town, staff mem-bers pick wines they like and place them by the register for wine shoppers.

Next, share your discoveries with your friends. A common misconception about buying wine is “the more expensive, the better the wine.” I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. A lot of well-known regions carry a price tag with them. Napa Valley wines are going to be among the most expensive in California. The cost per acre is incredibly high in the valley and that is built into the price of the wines. But

if you venture down to Paso Robles or San-ta Barbara, the price won’t be as high. If you’re seeking an inexpensive price point, try wines that come from France, Italy, Spain, Argentina and New Zealand. When I find a wine that is under $15 and is a kill-er wine, I share it with everyone I know—especially when I am working as a som-melier because guests come to me specifi-cally for that. We all enjoy a hidden gem.

Shelf-talkers and wine ratings are an-other influential part of the wine-buying experience. There are two styles: simple, discount tags to attract savvy shoppers, and the number tag that gives “Robert Parker’s Wine Advocate” or “The Wine Spectator” ratings of a wine. Costco, for instance, signed an exclusive agree-ment with “Wine Enthusiast” magazine to use its wine ratings in Costco stores. Shelf-talkers are an asset to helping you solidify your decision. However, know that you know what you like best, so that should always be the deciding factor.

Which leads me to my next point: Be adventurous. Most wine shops give a discount to their customers if you buy a certain number of bottles of wine. The typical discount happens when you buy a case. And buying a case is a great way to experiment with trying new wines. That is how you grow and learn. The first case of wine you buy should be wines from dif-ferent parts of the world. Start with six whites and six reds and take notes on your experience. Pictures are another way to catalog wines you have enjoyed. They are also helpful tools to show the wine profes-sional what previous wines you have tried. Next, narrow down which grape varieties you liked best. Once you have found grape varieties that are your favorites, then try them from different countries. This helps you to see what style of wine you like.

Not breaking the budget

Finally, I understand that trying new wines all the time is expensive. There are restaurants and wine stores in town that do wine tastings. For example, Riv-erside Wine & Spirits does a wine tast-ing every Saturday from 3-5 p.m. and these are free. Also, many restaurants in town do half glasses of wine for half the price. It is the perfect way to try a couple of different wines by the glass without having to spend too much.

Think of sommeliers, waiters, and wine shop staff as your tour guides on your wine adventure. We enjoy helping you navigate your own path through the vineyard. A votre santé!


Belle Ambiance is a nod to perfect moments, beautiful places and relaxing with friends. Rich, indulgent wines to bask in the mood. What’s your Belle Ambiance?

CREATE YOUR OWN BELLE AMBIANCE


have ever tasted, but the mahogany glaze that Chef Moses developed for this dish is the perfect contrast of savory and sweet, with hints of balsamic and honey that are simply addictive.

Topped with tangy pick-led onions and resting on a bed of peppery arugula, it is no wonder this is one of 212’s most popular dishes. We paired the calamari with a Louis Jadot Macon Villages Chardonnay. Its floral, apple and citrus notes comple-mented the calamari dish beautifully.

As we finished the appe-tizer, we began to realize our eyes may have gotten ahead of our appetites, so we opted to share an entrée. I had been eyeing the Coffee-Crusted Duck Breast since we had been seated, and was deter-mined to stand my ground for the duck. I am happy to report it was a spectacularly good decision. The duck breast was a perfect medi-

um-rare, and the ratio of luscious duck fat, crisp skin and succulent breast meat could not have been bet-ter. The coffee crust added to the magic of the maillard reaction to create a smoky companion to the duck’s rich flavor. The sweet citrus flavors of the Chattanooga

Whiskey orange sauce dot-ting the plate paid homage to the classic flavors of Duck à l’Orange. The duck breast was perched atop a sweet po-tato and spring pea hash that was perfectly al dente, while remaining crisp and bright on the palate. My friend and our server huddled, eventu-ally deciding on a Kenwood, Russian River Pinot Noir to accompany the duck—and once again it was a stun-ning pairing. This wine was bright, with smooth tannins and red cherry flavors seem-ingly created just for this duck dish. We could not have been happier with the pairing.

Every visit to 212 Market is a culinary trip to heaven. Now that I have found the wonderful world of wine that can accompany their de-licious food, I have a new set of reasons to dine there again and again. Go to 212 for the food, stay for the wine—and enjoy it all.

Nectar of the Gods—Food to Match

“212 Market is committed to providing all of the quality, selection and support you need when you are craving the perfect taste of vino to go with your meal.”

212 Market’s wine list has something for everyone

Dining Out

MICHAEL THOMAS

And you already knew that 212 is the go-to option for delicious comesti-bles for anyone seeking dining options such as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free or for those living with a food allergy.

What you may not know is that 212 Market is serious about wine. This doesn’t mean that you will have to deal with a pretentious, insufferable, sommelier who will roll his eyes at the first hint of timidity as you scan the wine list for something you recognize.

This means that 212 Market is commit-ted to providing all of the quality, selection and support you need when you are craving the perfect taste of vino to go with your meal, whether you are a committed oenophile or a casual wine drinker who doesn’t know a balthazar from a barrique.

While I enjoy the occasional glass of wine, my favorite dining compan-ion is a complete wine geek (and borderline wine snob). I tolerate her geekiness because she’s always given me good advice and because I’m con-vinced she picked it up inadvertently and through osmosis on a backpacking trip to France in the ’80s. Her giddy enthusiasm at my suggestion we go to 212 Market for dinner was my first hint that their wine selection was above par.

My second hint was when she snatched the voluminous, hardbound

wine list from my hand as if it held the cure for cancer. 212’s wine list catalogues a collec-tion of more than 400 labels acquired over the restaurant’s lifetime. While the list fo-cuses on affordable and mid-range wines, there are certain treasures to be found in the collection that cause the staff to speak about them as if they were beloved family mem-

bers—almost b e c o m i n g m e l a n -choly at the prospect of them being c o n s u m e d . Their dedi-

cation to offering a selection of quality producers and a carefully curated, thematic match to their menu in both price and style have earned them Wine Spectator’s “Award of Excellence” every year for more than a decade.

As my friend pored over the wine list, I began to survey the menu for an appetizer, quickly settling on the Ma-hogany-Glazed Point Judith Calamari. Squid is to Point Judith, Rhode Island what blue crab is to Chesapeake Bay, Maryland. Not only are these calamari some of the most tender and flavorful I

212 MARKET HAS BEEN SERVING EXCEPTIONAL food to downtown Chattanooga diners since 1992—but you already knew that. You already knew that 212 Mar-

ket was conceived as a restaurant dedicated to featuring qual-ity local foods, prepared with the skill of an artisan and the soul of a Chattanoogan.


Everything and The BluesLegend Taj Mahal lays it down at Track 29

Henry Saint Clair Fredericks, Jr. was born in Harlem in 1942 to a gospel-singing mother and a West Indian jazz piano-playing father.

Growing up in this musical house-hold, he was exposed to a whole gamut of musical styles. As a young, college-bound man, he had a series of dreams about Gandhi and social justice, and out of those dreams came the name he’d become famous with: Taj Mahal.

In his 50 years of music since, Taj Ma-hal has stayed true to the blues—but he’s also incorporated many influences from all around the world. He’s played with a Who’s Who of music legends, including Howlin’ Wolf and Muddy Wa-

ters, Ry Cooder, and the Rolling Stones. And along the way, he’s become a leg-end himself, winning Grammys in 1997 (“Señor Blues”) and 2000 (“Shoutin’ in Key”).

This is not the time to stay in on a Sun-day night. Get your blues shoes on and truck on down to Track 29 to hear Taj and his trio. You’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t.

Taj Mahal TrioSunday, March 23, 8 p.m. Track 291400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co

THU3.20prog roCkiNg

Glass Hammer• One of Chattanooga's most legendary progressive rock bands is back for a special one night only performance. If you love Yes, Kansas, Emerson, Lake & Palmer and early Genesis, you'll love Glass Hammer. 8 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

frI3.21LoCaL LegeNd

Roger Alan Wade • One of the the most popular singer/songwriters in the city, as well as one of the nicest and most down-to-earth guys you'll ever meet, Roger has been entertaining crowds large and small for decades, and shows no sign of stopping.10 p.m. • T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.com

SAT3.22red HoT SwiNg

The 9th Street Stompers• In their own words, The 9th Street Stompers are "...an outfit of well-dressed no-counts chopping on acoustic instruments and singing about life, death, love, and liquor." Come get your red hot swing on!7 p.m. • The Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

Music

Heavy Hitters from ChattanoogaTHE FIRST THING I HEARD ABOUT OKINAWA (THE

band) was that they were a psychedelic group. This piqued my interest. There will always be a special place in my heart

for the genre. A lot of great music has come from it, and Pink Floyd was the first band I ever became truly and genuinely obsessed with (still one of my favorites).

MARC T. MICHAEL

On the other hand, I also have a healthy dose of skepticism regarding bands that apply the label to them-selves. Often, “We’re psychedelic” real-ly means, “We don’t know all the chords yet but we’ve got a big ol’ box of ex-pensive effects pedals.” In the case of Okinawa, “We’re a psychedelic band” actually means, “We’re easily one of the most polished, well-planned, thought-fully executed professional psychedelic bands to ever come from this place.”

OK—that wouldn’t make a good al-bum title (necessarily) and those are my words, not the band’s, but I stand by it. This brainchild of local producer and performer Charles Allison brings every day of his 20 years in the scene to bear. Not really so long a time for a rough lump of coal to be turned into such a polished little gem.

Allison is joined in this project by Josh Bates on guitar and harmonies, Ian Wa-ters on keys and harmonies, John La-zenby on bass, Todd Garland on drums and Matt Campbell on percussion. While the project may be Allison’s con-cept, it would be unfair to assume that any of the players wasn’t just as invested in the work.

These songs aren’t played, or record-ed, they are crafted, lovingly, with a great deal of time and attention paid to getting them “just so”. The precision of their construction is so refined that you don’t

Imagine a sonic version of ‘Iron Chef’ in which the winner was given a box of disco parts and told to make something beautiful out of it.”

“

CIT

Y S

CE

NE


really notice it. Every tune sounds light and dreamy…breezy perhaps. But make no mistake—no one at-tains this level of good-natured “laid back” without putting some serious effort in to it.

“As Long As You’re There” re-minds me of the Shins (before the lady-boy from Scrubs ruined them). I’ve listened to it at least a dozen times today and could go for another dozen without getting tired.

The next track, “Maybe We Should Break Up Now” starts off with a dash of mid-’60s Beatles (what I consider their artistic peak) but then unexpectedly takes a page or two from Elvis Costello (honestly, the title should have been a clue).

Full disclosure: I have no idea if either of those artists served as in-spiration for this tune. What I am saying is that when I hear it, that’s who it evokes. Purposefullly or not, there is definitely some common ground there.

The third track, “Misunderstand-ing,” is a little trickier to decipher. It…it almost seems a touch, disco. Before anyone takes offense let me offer some context: Imagine a son-

ic version of “Iron Chef” in which the winner was given a box of disco parts and told to make something beautiful out of it.

The final track is the acoustic tune “As Long As You’re There” which honestly makes me think of

what the Everly Brothers might have done had they been born in the ’70s.

Okinawa is currently work-ing on a full-length album, and rest assured you will hear about it here as soon it’s ready to go. In the meantime, the band can

be found playing around town regu-larly, particularly at Honest Pint and JJ’s Bohemia.

Go see them. Bring a date. You’ll understand why later.

Go see them. Bring a date. You’ll

understand why later.

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

honest music local and regional shows

Thu, Mar 20Thu, Mar 27

9pm9pm

Endelouz Cd Release with Gold Plated Gold [$5]Spoken Nerd with Floami Fly [$5]

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pmSun, March 23 @ 7pm : The 9th Street Stompers [FREE]

Last summer I did a piece on the Dead Testa-ments and was given the oppor-tunity to preview some rough cuts from an EP they had in the works.

The tracks were rough and missing a fair amount of the final instrumen-tation, but even so the shape of things to come was there and it was clearly going to be very good.

Turns out I may have underestimated the project. It is the best thing I have heard this year. As one reviewer (me) put it, “It is ear candy for those who appreciate the macabre.” Edward Gorey would have illus-trated the cover just on general principle were he still around.

Smoothly complex, evocative of the noir work of Cohen, Waits and Cave with maybe a hint of Decemberists to bind it all together, it is beautifully conceived and ex-ecuted with the highest production values.

Your chance to find out for yourself is this Saturday, Mar 22 at JJs Bohemia. The show starts at 10 p.m. and features the Dead Testaments with special guests Haz-es and Gorgeous. The EP will be available for a negligible five bucks, a bargain several times over.

—MTM

Dead Testaments Release "231 MLK" Saturday at JJ's

photo courtesy of 423BraggingRights


thursday3.20 Red Bank Bluegrass Jam6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.comForever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Rd.wholefoodsmarket.comSacred Harp Singing7 p.m. St. Elmo Fire Hall, 4501 St. Elmo Ave. stelmofirehall.comSongwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.comZac Brown Band 7 p.m. UTC Mackenzie Arena, 720 E 4th St. utc.edu/mckenzie-arenaGlass Hammer, Amber Fults 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.comEndelouz CD Release, Gold Plated Gold, Static Revival9 p.m. The Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com423PK Fundraiser #3 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.comBattle of the Bands II9 p.m. Sky Zoo,

5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.comOpen Mike with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191Afro, Great Barrier Reefs 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

friday3.21 Senior Recital: Maddie Taylor, Michael Robb 6 p.m. Lee University Squires Recital Hall, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland Tn. leeuniversity.eduBy The Way Bluegrass7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church,

3040 Blythe Rd., Cleveland. clevelandcowboychurch.comMike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873River City Sessions 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.comCampus Composers Concert 7:30 p.m. Cadek 200 Assembly Hall, 725 Oak St. utc.edu/cadek-conservatoryAndy Grammer, The Ready Set 7:30 p.m. UTC Mackenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. utc.edu/mckenzie-arenaMountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk.

(423) 866-3252Nathan Bell CD Release Show 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.orgLogan Murrell 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Road To Nightfall: Finals 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.comCherub 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.coCrunk Bone Jones9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.comWeeknight 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.comOne Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

saturday3.22 Christie Burns, Matt Evans, Pattee Wilbanks, Northwoods, Russell Gulley,

MU

SIC

CA

LEN

DA

RZac Brown Band

Pulse PiCk:juiCy j

Songwriter and record producer from Memphis, Tennessee. He is a founding member of the Southern hip hop group Three 6 Mafia, and is now taking his solo tour around the country.

Juicy J Saturday, 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.co

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA

MARCH

4.1 UPTOWN BIG BAND SWING PARTY 4.2 CHRIS KNIGHT: ACOUSTIC with CARDON SMITH

20THU8pGLASS HAMMER

THE PROG-ROCK LEGENDS RETURN!

ROAD TO NIGHTFALL WINNER HEADLINES NIGHTFALL!

22SAT10pFLY BY RADIO

FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL

26WED9pDECIBELLA

with THE AVERAGE & VINO TAKES

AGORI TRIBE with GILL YUM 18+ SHOW

28FRI10pRUBIK'S GROOVE

A BLAST OF 80'S MUSIC

29SAT9pUNKNOWN HINSON

with FIFTH ON THE FLOOR

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

COMING IN APRIL

12SAT9pMITCH ROSSELL

A NIGHT OF ROCKIN' COUNTRY!

THE REVIVALISTS THROW DOWN FROM NEW ORLEANS 4FRI

9p

27THU8p

CHATTANOOGAUNPLUGGED

21FRI9p


Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

The Tin Cup Rattlers 11 a.m. Audubon Acres, 900 N Sanctuary Rd.chattanoogaaudubon.orgThe Mason Dixieland Line12:30 p.m. The Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com The 9th Street Stompers7 p.m. The Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.comJuicy J 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.coNathan Bell 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Convertibull 8 p.m. American Legion Post 81, 227 James Asbury Ln., Cleveland. tnlegionpost81.orgLeverage 8 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.comLogan Murrell 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com MES presents Jack Rentfro, Apocalypso Quartet & TriCurious 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

barkinglegs.orgFly By Radio10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.comHap Henninger10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191Gabe Newell 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.comDead Testaments, Hazes, Gorgeous 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.comOne Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

sunday3.23 Josh Gilbert, The Station House Singers, Delta Soul2 p.m. Camp Jordan, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. eastridgeparksandrec.comTennessee American Guild of Organist Centennial Celebration 4 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church,305 W. 7th St. stpaulschatt.org Sunday Night Irish Jam Session5 p.m. Enzo’s Market,

1501 Long St. enzosmarket.comSunday Jam7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711The 9th Street Stompers7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.comTaj Mahal Trio 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.coBlind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

monday3.24 Charlie Oxford, JD Eicher, Russell Howard 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.comMusic Monday7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.comLee University Symphony Orchestra 7:30 p.m. Lee University Conn Center & Dixon Center Auditorium,

1053 Church St. SE, Cleveland.leeuniversity.edu

tuesday3.25 Open Mic with Mike McDade9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. tremonttavern.comPeelander Z10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

wednesday3.26 Old Time Music Community Jam6 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.comJack Wright & Andrew Drury9 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.orgDecibella, The Average, The Vino Takes 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.comJesse James 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

MU

SIC

CA

LEN

DA

R

The Ready Set

Join us on Facebook

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, March 20: 9pmOpen Mic

with Hap HenningerFriday, March 21: 9pm

Crunk Bone JonesSaturday, March 22: 10pm

Hap HenningerTuesday, March 25: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics

423-314-0403www.honeybunnywax.com

$ 35 Brazilian Wax

ARE YOU READYFOR SPRING?

Mention this

ad for $5 off


Cult Classic, Gentle AmbleThe best of the newest with Ernie Paik

The British collective Family Fodder—found-ed by Alig Pearce (a.k.a.

Alig Fodder) in the ’70s—is one of those groups that this writer wants to scream and shout about, with arms flailing like a madman, until everyone in the world has heard them.

It presses all the right buttons, with an unusual pop aesthetic that is informed by post-punk, dub, classical music, tape-loop and sound experimentation, dada-ism and the joy of absurdity. The band’s insanely inventive 1980 album Monkey Banana Kitchen is a bona fide underground cult clas-sic, and until now, oddly enough, it has never been properly reis-sued on any format since its origi-nal vinyl release over 30 years ago.

If there’s a track that serves as a litmus test, it’s the third track on the album, “Savoir Faire,” which stretches the notion of new wave pop, bursting with excitement and a propulsive beat; Dominique Levillain’s singsongy vocals are in both English and French, with synth sparks in the background,

electric guitar tremolos and junk-yard percussion blasts.

If you don’t like this track, Fam-ily Fodder is not for you, and this writer can’t help you. The album’s weirdest moments are “Monkey” and “Banana” which take inspira-tion from (collaborator and con-temporary) This Heat’s tape loop exercises, tattooing vocal snippets onto the listener’s brain, such as “Reasons in the monkey house” and “With a banana” with studio manipulation and a teasing, child-like playfulness.

The new reissue on the Ger-man label Staubgold is available on vinyl and CD, and the CD version is a jam-packed 80-min-ute disc also featuring the EP Schizophrenia Party and two sin-gles, “Film Music” and “The Big Dig.” As much as this writer loves this music, this reissue has a few issues.

First of all, the track order is not the original order, and “Monkey” has been abridged so that all the material would fit on a 80-minute disc. Much (all?) of the material has been apparently remastered

from vinyl, so surface noise and high-frequency distortion can be heard at times. Finally, surely this edition merits an essay or at least ample liner notes, but apart from credits, it’s lacking in that depart-ment.

Despite these issues, this writer welcomes any opportunity to in-troduce newcomers to the strange and unique world of Family Fod-der, a culture mash-up of high-brow and lowbrow aims fueled by an unfettered, entertaining clev-erness.

The nebulous field of Americana is a crowded one, with a built-in audi-

ence, and it seems like any indi-vidual who knows his or her way around open tunings and can pose for photos standing on railroad tracks can get a gig.

However, that also under-scores the difficulty of standing apart from the crowd with a dis-tinctive, memorable touch, and Knoxville-based singer/guitarist Leah Gardner has managed to of-fer a refreshing and satisfying take

on well-worn musical territory on her new self-titled solo debut EP, with several key features.

First of all, Gardner has culti-vated her own unique voice, with both grace and grit and an admi-rable control. While not blatantly aping any particular singer, Gard-ner’s singing has a little bit of Dol-ly Parton’s country enunciation, a smidgeon of Billie Holiday’s pretty and bluesy wilt and just a hint of Hope Sandoval’s shad-owed, breezy, wistful reverberat-ing bliss-out.

Also notable is Gardner’s back-ing band, which is a perfect com-plement to her calming singing and strumming, with the nuanced rhythm section of bassist Taylor Coker (like Gardner, a former member of The Black Lillies) and percussionist Jon Whitlock, Seth Hopper on violin and trumpet, and cellist Cecilia Miller.

The 6-song EP includes four originals and two adapted tradi-tional tracks, “Two Soldiers” and “Same Old Man,” spotlighting Gardner’s affinity for balladry and Appalachian folk with country and soul infusions, and the release is impeccably recorded, with a natural sounding balance that just feels right and the fluidity of a live performance.

The bright original “Make Me Blue” features earworm melodies and a moderately paced take on gypsy jazz, with standout vibrant violin playing from Hopper; his downward glissandos mirror Gardner’s line, “Some say trees fall, you pretend you don’t love me at all.”

“Mess Up My Hair” assumes a sauntering, smoldering warmth with trumpet and cello accents, and “Waiting” features the gentle amble of a frontier ballad with a pleasing cello/violin call-and-re-sponse. While ostensibly modest and unassuming, Gardner’s debut slithers in and stays with the lis-tener, with gorgeous singing and spotless performances.

Family FodderMonkey Banana Kitchen(Staubgold)

Leah GardnerLeah Gardner(leahgardner.com)

MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO

CHERUBwith ProbCause and Carousel

FRIDAY • MARCH 21DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM$15 ADVANCE • $17 DAY OF

TAJ MAHAL TRIOSEATED SHOW

SUNDAY • MARCH 23DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM$23 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF

THE DIRTY GUV’NAHSwith Cereus Bright

FRIDAY • MARCH 28DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM

$15 ADVANCE AND DAY OF

DREW HOLCOMBFeaturing Judah and The Lion

SATURDAY • APRIL 12DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM$15 ADVANCE • $17 DAY OF

3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETSTRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929

BOX OFFICE OPEN10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY

Record Reviews erNie paik


MassageEnvy.com · Convenient Hours · Franchises Available

Choose your offer and schedule today.

Lose the stress. Love the savings.

Exclusively featuring*See clinic for details. Rates and services may vary by location and session. Not all Massage Envy locations are licensed to offer facial services. Check with the specific location or see MassageEnvy.com. Each location is independently owned and operated. ©2013 Massage Envy Franchising, LLC.

INTRODUCTORY

1-hour massage session*

INTRODUCTORY

1-hour Murad® Healthy Skin facial session*

$ 99 $ 99

(423) 757-2900

Open 7 Days: M-F 8am-10pm, Sat 8am-6pm, Sun 10am-6pm

39FRAZIER-NORTHSHORE345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108

49

Next to Regions Bank

Look younger, feel better this spring with a

healthy Murad facial

BOOKAREAS:

ADVERTISERNAME:

❑ Ad is approved ❑ Ad is approved with changes ❑ Ad is not approved make changes indicated

SIGNATURE

ETAD EMAN TNIRP

PLEASE SIGN YOUR PROOF AND COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION

Please deliver asap to: _____________________________________________

EMAIL: ___________________________________________________________

PHONE: __________________________ FAX: __________________________

FILE NAME:

Office Use Only?EMAS DATSITRA TC NUMBER

SALES REP:

EDITION NAME:

CLIENT ID NUMBER CATEGORY

New Advertiser

2013 v1

This is your only ad proof. Please review this ad carefully as it will be printed as it

missed by you on this proof will not release you from any liabilities from the Magazine Publisher. Color and position of ad or page placement is not guaranteed. Ads with coupons may have coupon placement

not received this proof back within two days, the ad will be printed as shown here.

m

TC-

changed to fit the pagination of the book. If the Magazine Publisher has

ISSUEDATE:

Hope

3150DM

Y

747.02.14 Massage Envy 1.2

1061586

MINT Magazine

KLITTLEMINTMAGAZINE.COM

00747-02-14, 00748-02-14

00747 CHATTANOOGASIGNAL MTN./RIVERVIEW/RED BANK, TN MINT00748 CHATTANOOGAHIXSON/SODDY DAISY, TN MINT

2/07 Massage Envy Of Chattanooga #244111

Health & Beauty:Massage

747.02.14 Massage Envy 1.2.indd 1 2/11/14 9:31 AM

Massage Envy Spa

For noticeably healthy skin, schedule today.

NOW OFFERING FACIALS!

Exclusively featuring

MassageEnvy.com · Convenient Hours · Franchises Available

INTRODUCTORY

1-hour Murad® Healthy Skin facial session*

$

INTRODUCTORY

1-hour massage session*

$

*Session consists of a massage or facial and time for consultation and dressing. Prices subject to change. Rates and services may vary by location and session. Not all Massage Envy locations are licensed to offer facial services. Check with the specific location or see MassageEnvy.com. Additional local taxes and fees may apply. Each location is independently owned and operated. ©2013 Massage Envy Franchising, LLC.

(423) 757-2900

Open 7 Days: M-F 8am-10pm, Sat 8am-6pm, Sun 10am-6pm

FRAZIER-NORTHSHORE345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108Next to Regions Bank

CHATTANOOGA PULSEcrop ad to 5.172 x 5.135

ONSALENOW! Buy tickets at Memorial Auditorium Box Office

Online at ETIX.com or Charge By Phone: 423-642-TIXS (8497)

SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL AUDITORIUMMAY 12 • 8PM

UTC Campus Activities Board presents

UTC is an EEO/AA/Titles VI & IX/Section 504/ADA/ADEA institution. E040250002-009-14

Ticket prices increase day of show.All tickets are general admission and applicable fees apply.

at the box office or online www.gomocs.com

with valid ID at the box office

7:30PM MCKENZIE ARENA


It must Be market Time!The Chattanooga River Market kicks off again this Saturday

The first day of spring is upon us—and so is opening day of the Chattanooga River Market. Back for its fifth season on March 22, the outdoor market showcases local ar-tisan talent every Saturday at the Tennessee Aquarium Plaza from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Featuring handmade products like jewel-ry, children’s clothing, pottery, photography, woodworks, soaps, glassworks, and artisan bath products, organizers describe it as an “opportunity for locals and tourists alike to shop for unique gifts while supporting our area artists.”

But the market isn’t just a place for shop-ping. It also features live music and morning yoga classes. While browsing from booth to booth, visitors will be able to listen to a local band each week from 12:30 p.m. to 3 p.m.

Opening Day kicks off the 2014 jam ses-sion with The Mason Dixieland Line. De-

scribed as the “Dixieland version of Sweet Georgia Sound,” The Mason Dixieland Line has performed at venues across the Chatta-nooga area since 2000.

For those looking for some Saturday morning yoga, the market also offers a free class each week at 10 a.m. Classes will be held outdoors and will be led by the Chat-tanooga yoga community.

“There’s just no better way to enjoy a Saturday than experiencing downtown and all it has to offer, including the Tennessee Aquarium,” organizers say.

The River Market kicks off the market sea-son for Chattanooga with the Sunday mar-ket following in April and a new Wednesday market opening in May. For more informa-tion, including a schedule of events and en-tertainment, visit chattanoogamarket.com

— Madeline Chambliss

THU3.20arT + iSSueS

Diversity Is! Now Deal With It?• Explore the ways we understand and engage with diversity in our community with UTC professors Dr. Bart Weathington and Dr. Brian O’Leary.6 p.m. • Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org

frI3.21agaTHa CHriSTie

Opening Night Gala: “And Then There Were None”• Ten people, each with something to hide and something to fear, are invited to a lonely mansion on a distant island by a host who fails to appear. 7 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com

SAT3.22FairY FamiLY FuN

Nature Center Fairy House Workshop• Learn a little bit about how fairy houses started and then receive a chest of fairy gold, so you can buy building and decorating materials in the fairy market place.1O a.m. • Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org

Arts

Possibilities from Impending Failure ASHLEY HAMILTON IS QUEERING PAINTING.

She gave me a preview last week of her work-in-progress that will be exhibited in UTC Art Department’s first of two senior

shows on Apr. 1. She’s just now about to graduate from UTC, but her work has already gotten a lot of attention, including a featured profile in The Pulse’s 2012 State of the Arts issue.

RICH BAILEY

Queering something, she explains, means questioning its traditions and norms—like canvas and paint in her field—and deviating from them. Her queered painting is a three-dimensional assemblage of found objects. Some are as she found them, some have her marks on them.

She’s become known for layered 2-D abstractions on large canvases, mostly in a dark color palette, with layers of over-lapping and obscured shapes and words, but she wanted to push herself far out-side her artistic comfort zone.

“I was wondering how I could push it further, because this became really com-fortable for me after a while because I’ve done hundreds of them,” she says.

When she does that kind of painting, and now this queered painting, “Part of my practice is walking the streets of Chattanooga and being aware of my sur-roundings. I call myself a flaneur at my core.”

The idea of the flaneur, the leisurely stroller through urban streets, began in the nineteenth century and is typified by the poet Charles Baudelaire who called the flaneur the “botanist of the sidewalk” and insisted that the artist must be immersed in the city.

“I’m always taking pictures of mo-ments on the streets that interest me,” she says. “That entails also collecting these found objects.”

The poet Charles Baudelaire called the flaneur the ‘botanist of the sidewalk’ and insisted that the artist must be immersed in the city.”

“

EN

TE

RTA

IME

NT


She showed me an old suitcase, open against the wall, with half a door hinge still attached to a piece of door, a curved piece of curved pressed wood with milled holes in it, a card filled with thumbtacks almost fresh from the store and dozens of similar artifacts. Against the wall were several torn fragments of wallboard, some with marks she had made on them.

“They’ve all been abandoned at one point in time, but they find recovery through my own fascina-tion,” she says. “I empa-thize with these found objects. I recover them by giving them new possibili-ties and meanings through a different context in an art form.”

The piece she’s working on is made entirely of these found objects, plus a few marks she makes. She points out a playing card that’s “in conversation” with some red marks.

“Some pieces I leave as is, but some require just a little bit of my touch, so it questions the author, authorship,” she says. “There’s a fine line between my mark and just letting the object be. I just intuitively make marks and arrange things spatially, then I reflect on it later and make changes accordingly.”

This piece can be seen on all sides,

which she says, “challenges the idea of a painting hung on a wall that you just have to look at from one direction. You can see it all around from all sides. Maybe you also get a sense of impend-ing failure, this sign that’s threatening to fall or this found remnant of a staircase that was being built, but it stops.”

There’s also a sign covered in plastic. “The sole purpose of a sign is meant

to be seen, but when covered up it questions its own existence,” she says.

“Those are the kinds of things I’m inter-ested in: Denied signification or lost sig-nification or misunderstanding. As you walk around here you might have the feeling that something looks familiar, but you’re not quite able to penetrate the meaning. It’s full of possibilities, possibilities from impending failure. All these objects were abandoned, but now they find recovery through possibility.”

Her work has been strongly influ-enced by her exposure to other artists that are challenging the boundaries of form and genre, first at Easy Lemon, the artist residency program she and Tim Hinck put on where they invited artists

to do nightly performances for five to ten days of work that the artists themselves found most challenging. Then there is the New Dischord festival of interdisci-plinary art, another Hinck collaboration, in which she started playing with sound and inviting viewers to interact with her work.

“I think more and more, my work is existing in this expanded field, an inter-disciplinary field where I’m starting to reach out beyond painting,” she says.

She sees her work as rooted in the intrinsi-cally human struggle to understand self.

“That’s why I walk the streets and find empathy with these objects,” she says. “In some way I think they’re extensions of myself. When I find a found object, I find a relation between us. I find the similarities and also resonate with the differences. I see found objects as their own little inti-macies. They have their own stories to tell.”

Ashley Hamilton’s queered painting can be seen in UTC Art’s First Senior show at the Cress Gallery, opening Tuesday, Apr. 1. Presentations at 4:30 p.m., opening at 5:30 p.m.

Ashley Hamilton with one of her interactive installations

“All these objects were abandoned, but now they find recovery through possibility.”

Original Art | Custom Framing

Fine Art & Fine WineMake A Perfect Pair

4250 Hixson Pike | 423.877.1391m-f: 10am - 6pm sat: by appt

Specializing in Creative Custom

Framing & Original Art (since 1988)


thursday3.20 Nonprofit Leadership Series 3: Engaging Volunteers and the Community9 a.m.United Way, 630 Market St.(423) 265-8000uwchatt.orgLookout Wild Film Festival’s “The Local Hero Project”5:30 p.m.Mellow Mushroom Downtown, 205 Broad St. (423) 266-5564American Sign Language 1015:30 p.m.Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise, 1301 Market St. (423) 756-6201cneinc.orgYappy Meower5:30 p.m.Nooga Paws, 313 Manufacturers Rd., Ste. 111. (423) 883-2298mckameyanimalcenter.orgArt + Issues: Diversity Is! Now Deal With It?6 p.m.Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.orgAdam Hunter7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com“Fat Pig”7:30 p.m.Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comLee University Performing Arts Series: Omni Trio7:30 p.m.Lee University Humanities

Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland.leeuniversity.edu

friday3.21 Sew What3 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org“Divergent” Release Party6 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.orgSenior Recital: Michael Robb and Maddie Taylor6 p.m.Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland.leeuniversity.eduTaste and Sound of Italy7 p.m.St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Key-Andrews Hall,

805 W. 7th St. chattanoogagirlschoir.orgOpening Night Gala: “And Then There Were None”7 p.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.comLookout Wild Film Festival7:30 p.m.Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.orgAdam Hunter7:30, 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com“Fat Pig”7:30 p.m.Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

saturday3.22 Dash for DS 5K and Fun Run9 a.m.Tennessee River Park, 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 842-0177Chattanooga Nature Center Fairy House Workshop10 a.m.Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.org“The K Play”10:30 a.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.comLittle Owl Music and Arts Festival11 a.m.Audubon Acres, 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 892-3690chattanoogaaudubon.orgAwesome Opossum11 a.m.Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.orgArtist Demonstration: Mike Berry, Joe Parrot11 a.m.River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423)265-5033 river-gallery.comWildlife Wanderland2:30 p.m.Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.orgSherlockians Unite!2:30 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St.

AR

TS

CA

LEN

DA

R"Fat Pig"

Pulse PiCk:the blind banker

A free screening of the BBC favorite Sherlock episode "The Blind Banker" from Season 1. Come dressed as your favorite character!

Sherlockians Unite!Saturday, 2:30 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org

for more info call 706.820.2531

See .comRockCity

SeeRockCity.com/Fairytale

A Magical New Evening EventMake plans to visit Spring Break!

March 28 to April 20


(423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.orgOpen House: Welcome to the 2nd Floor3 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.orgLookout Wild Film Festival6:30 p.m.Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.org“Fat Pig”7:30 p.m.Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comAdam Hunter7:30 , 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com“And Then There Were None”8 p.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.comMES Presents “Grand Piano”8:30 p.m.Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave., (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgMike Smith10:30 p.m.Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sunday3.23 Lookout Wild Film Festival2 p.m.Chattanooga Choo Choo

Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.orgFriends under the Stars Festival2 p.m.Camp Jordan, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy.(423) 490-0078“Fat Pig”2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com CSO Presents “Suite Serenade”3 p.m.Sheraton Read House Silver Ballroom, 827 Broad St. chattanoogsymphony.orgAdam Hunter7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday3.24 LAUNCH’s Learn How To Start Your Own Business course6 p.m.Northside Neighborhood House, 211 Minor St.(423) 267-2217nnhouse.orgTennessee Valley CanoeMatt Hamblin’s WhimsicalSierra Club - Public Program7 p.m.Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.comLee University Symphony Orchestra Concert7:30 p.m.Lee University Conn Center & Dixon Center Auditorium, 1053 Church St. SE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8340

tuesday3.25 2014 Spirit of Achievement Awards Luncheon11:30 a.m.Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-0001jachatt.orgLAUNCH’s Learn How To Start Your Own Business course6 p.m.Glass House Collective, 2523 Glass St.(423) 402-0565glasshousecollective.org

wednesday3.26 The Urban League of Greater Chattanooga Entrepreneur Power Luncheon11:30 a.m.Chattanooga Convention Center,1100 Carter St. (423)756-0001ulchatt.netLunch Break @ 4th Floor - “A Woman’s Work is Never Done”12:10 p.m.Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.orgDoug Stanhope7:30 p.m.Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

ongoing “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

“Laurel Nakadate: Strangers and Relations”University of the South, 735 University Ave., Sewanee. (931) 598-1000sewanee.eduFairytale Nights Rock City,1400 Patten Rd, Lookout Mountain, GA(706) 820-2531seerockcity.comMichelle Segre “Sculptures and Drawings” 2014 Diane Marek Visiting Artist UTC Cress Gallery of Art, 736 Vine St., (423) 425-4600cressgallery.orgSatan’s BreathIn-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. 423) 267-9214intowngallery.com“Bright Ideas: African American Inventors” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd., (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.orgPhoto Society of ChattanoogaGallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop, (423) 894-7112chattanoogaphoto.orgRock City Raptors Rock City,1400 Patten Rd, Lookout Mountain, GA(706) 820-2531seerockcity.comChattanooga Ghost ToursThe Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St., (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

AR

TS

CA

LEN

DA

R

Michelle Segre “Sculptures and Drawings”

RubyFalls.com423.821.2544

Named“One of the

Ten Most Incredible

CaveWaterfallson Earth”World Reviewer

RubyFallsZip.com423.821.2544

AerialAdventure.

OpenFridays &Weekends

NOW!


"The Grand Budapest hotel"Fabulous cast invites even Anderson non-fans

There’s no question the movies of Wes Anderson are not for everyone. I remember sitting in the (then) Rave in East Ridge watching “Moonrise Kingdom” on a stormy afternoon with about 15 other people. About half an hour into it, one couple ex-pressed audible disgust and walked out.

Then a thunderstorm knocked out the power for at least 20 minutes. The other 13 people and I waited pa-tiently, unwilling to give up the story. When the film finally resumed, I was delighted I’d stayed.

It’s likely reaction to Anderson’s newest film, “The Grand Budapest

Hotel” will be equally polarizing. I was unable to find out when this movie will open in Chattanooga (in-dependent film house, you cannot arrive fast enough), but it’ll get here eventually, and when it does, some will love it for Anderson’s trademark stylization—and some will loathe it.

But an unbelievable cast that in-cludes Ralph Fiennes, F. Murray Abraham, Adrien Brody, Bill Mur-ray, Tom Wilkinson and an unrec-ognizable Tilda Swinton is reason enough to give this adventure into a lost world of fading opulence and romance a wink and a whirl.

— Janis Hashe

Screen

Playing For Time in “Grand Piano”THRILLERS TEND TO HAVE SOME RIDICULOUS

ideas. These are stories about the darkest parts of human nature, where evil needs to be pure and simple, without ra-

tional or complicated characterization. The thriller is made by the villain—the protagonist has to be hopelessly outmatched, reacting to a well-planned, psychopathic evil with no emotion, no sympathy, and no remorse.

JOHN DEVORE

Motivations don’t matter in any real sense. The audience doesn’t care that much if the villain wants to steal mon-ey, get revenge on a past injustice, or demand the release of a prisoner. What they want is to witness the dra-ma that happens as the victims slowly and deliberately unravel the Machia-vellian traps laid by an unseen, shad-owy adversary.

In what might be my favorite Mise En Scenesters offering so far, “Grand Piano” is an example of the best kind of thriller. It’s relatively senseless, easily picked apart, but at the same time just simply works. It’s a genre film that loves the genre; one that isn’t interested in explaining or providing needless exposition. It exists in its world without question or pause.

Tom Selznick (Elijah Wood) is a world-famous concert pianist who is returning to the stage after a long absence, having developed an acute case of stage fright. Years prior, Tom had some sort of real or imagined di-saster while performing a piece, caus-ing him to hide from the spotlight and shy away from any performances.

But now a concert in honor of his former teacher, a master of piano composition, draws Tom back in order to play once more. And as he begins his performance, in front of a packed

It’s a genre film that loves the genre; one that isn’t interested in explaining or providing needless exposition.”

“

FILM

SC

EN

E

✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴

"Muppets Most Wanted"While on a grand world tour, The Muppets find themselves wrapped into an European jewel-heist caper headed by a Kermit the Frog look-alike and his dastardly sidekick. (PG)Director: James BobinStars: Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tom Hiddleston

"Divergent"In a world divided by factions based on vir-tues, Tris learns she's Divergent and won't fit in. When she discovers a plot to destroy Divergents, Tris and the mysterious Four must find out what makes Divergents dan-gerous before it's too late. (PG-13)Stars: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet, Jai Courtney


Chicago concert hall, he notices a note written in red pen on his score: “miss one note, and you die.” What follows are tense, expertly crafted scenes of ter-ror, as Tom learns the goals and identity of his antagonist while playing difficult parts during the movements of the ac-companying symphony or-chestra. He must play the “Impossible Piece” flawless-ly if he hopes to save his own life and the life of his wife, who watches oblivious in the audience.

The idea is completely ab-surd, especially given the ul-timate goal of the aggressor, a sniper known only as Clem (John Cusack.) There are much easier ways for Clem to get what he wants. But that wouldn’t be any fun. The perfor-mances by both Cusack and Wood are what make the film work so well.

They are the reason we buy into the plot. Their commitment to the story, despite the silliness, allows us to sus-pend our disbelief just enough to make the film worth our time. Of course, it’s beautifully shot, showing us the loneli-ness that exists on stage by using open

spaces and wide angles. Tom is alone in a room full of musicians and spectators. He has no line to the outside world—any strange behavior is easily attributed to his stage fright.

The audience is watching as much to see him fall apart on stage as they are

to hear his comeback concert. Their ex-citement is rooted in the potential for disaster. Ours comes from knowing just how disastrous it might be.

Nothing adds tension like classical music, and the musical score makes the film all the more entertaining. My big-gest complaint with the film is also the most nitpicky. Having grown up in a house with a classically trained pianist, seeing a master piano player never once touch the sustain pedal despite hearing

powerful ringing chords had a tendency to take me out of the film. Wood’s fin-gers move deftly over the keyboard and had he used the pedals once or twice, I might have been foolish enough to think that he wasn’t acting. Alas, the devil is in the details.

“Grand Piano” will be screened at 8:30 p.m. at Barking Legs Theater on March 22. MES continues to be one of Chattanooga’s best resources for film, bring-ing great movies that would never be seen at the Majestic or the East Ridge 18.

Soon enough, we’ll have our own art house movie the-

ater, and film enthusiasts will have more than one opportunity to see films that are off the beaten path. Until then, sup-port MES.

Grand PianoSaturday, March 22, 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgmesfilmclub.com

Elijah Wood in "Grand Piano"

Having grown up in a house with a classically trained pianist, seeing a

master piano player never once touch the sustain pedal despite hearing

powerful ringing chords had a tendency to take me out of the film.

Where the Liquor is Cheap and the Entertainment is Free

SPRING WINESPECIALS

We will meet or beat anyadvertised price and special order any wine available in the Chattanooga market!

SPRING WINESPECIALS


PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): Before she died, Piscean actress Elizabeth Taylor enjoyed more than 79 years of life on this gor-geous, maddening planet. But one aptitude she never acquired in all that time was the ability to cook a hard-boiled egg. Is there a pocket of ignorance in your own repertoire that rivals this lapse, Pisces? Are there any fundamen-tal life skills that you probably should have learned by now? If so, now would be a good time to get to work on mastering them.

arIES (March 21-April 19): “When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet,” says Bud-dhist nun Thubten Chodron. “You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time.” That’s sound advice for you, Aries. You are almost ready to plant the metaphorical seeds that you will be cultivating in the coming months. Having faith should be a key ele-ment in your plans for them. You’ve got to find a way to shut down any tendencies you might have to be an impatient control freak. Your job is simply to give your seeds a good start and provide them with the persistent follow-up care they will need.

TaUrUS (April 20-May 20): “Thank you, disillusionment,” says Alanis Morissette in her song “Thank U.” “Thank you, frailty,” she continues. “Thank you, noth-ingness. Thank you, silence.” I’d love to hear you express that kind of gratitude in the coming days, Taurus. Please understand that I don’t think you will be experienc-ing a lot of disillusionment, frailty, nothingness, and silence. Not at all. What I do suspect is that you will be able to see, more clearly than ever before, how you have been helped and blessed by those states in the past. You will understand how cre-atively they motivated you to build strength, resourcefulness, willpow-er, and inner beauty.

GEmINI (May 21-June 20): I bet your support system will soon be abuzz with fizzy mojo and good mischief. Your web of contacts is about to get deeper and feistier and prettier. Pounce, Gemini, pounce! Summon extra clarity and zest as you communicate your vision of what you want. Drum up alluring

tricks to attract new allies and in-spire your existing allies to assist you better. If all goes as I expect it to, business and pleasure will syner-gize better than they have in a long time. You will boost your ambitions by socializing, and you will sweeten your social life by plying your ambi-tions.

caNcEr (June 21-July 22): Dur-ing her 98 years on the planet, Bar-bara Cartland wrote 723 romance novels that together sold a billion copies. What was the secret of her success? Born under the sign of Cancer the Crab, she knew how productive she could be if she was comfortable. Many of her work ses-sions took place while she reclined on her favorite couch covered with a white fur rug, her feet warmed with a hot water bottle. As her two dogs kept her company, she dictated her stories to her secretary. I hope her formula for success inspires you to expand and refine your own per-sonal formula—and then apply it with zeal during the next eight weeks. What is the exact nature of the comforts that will best nourish your creativity?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Google Ngram Viewer is a tool that scans millions of books to map how fre-quently a particular word is used over the course of time. For in-stance, it reveals that “impossible” appears only half as often in books published in the 21st century as it did in books from the year 1900. What does this mean? That fantas-tic and hard-to-achieve prospects are less impossible than they used to be? I don’t know, but I can say this with confidence: If you begin

fantastic and hard-to-achieve prospects sometime soon, they will be far less impossible than they used to be.

VIrGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Tibetan mastiff is a large canine species with long golden hair. If you had never seen a lion and were told that this dog was a lion, you might be fooled. And that’s exactly what a zoo in Luo-he, China did. It tried to pass off a hearty specimen of a Ti-betan mastiff as an African lion. Alas, a few clever zoo-goers saw through the charade when the beast started barking. Now I’ll ask you, Virgo: Is there anything comparable going on in your en-vironment? Are you being asked to believe that a big dog is actu-ally a lion, or the metaphorical

equivalent?

LIBra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In T. S. Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the narrator seems tormented about the power of his longing. “Do I dare to eat a peach?” he asks. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is the peach too sweet, too juicy, too pleasurable for him to handle? Is he in danger of los-ing his self-control and dignity if he succumbs to the temptation? What’s behind his hesitation? In any case, Libra, don’t be like Pru-frock in the coming weeks. Get your finicky doubts out of the way as you indulge your lust for life with extra vigor and vivacity. Hear what I’m saying? Refrain from agonizing about whether or not you should eat the peach. Just go ahead and eat it.

ScOrPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Born under the sign of Scorpio, Neil Young has been making music pro-fessionally for over 45 years. He has recorded 35 albums and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In early 1969, three of his most famous songs popped out of his fertile imagination on the same day. He was sick with the flu and running a 103-degree fever when he wrote “Cowgirl in the Sand,” “Cinnamon Girl,” and “Down by the River.” I suspect you may soon experience a milder version of this mythic event, Scorpio. At a time when you’re not feeling your best, you could create a thing of beauty that will last a long time, or initiate a breakthrough that will send ripples far into the future.

SaGITTarIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There should be nothing ge-

neric or normal or routine about this week, Sagittarius. If you drink beer, for example, you shouldn’t stick to your usual brew. You should track down and drink the hell out of exotic beers with brand names like Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Ninja Vs. Unicorn and Doctor Mor-ton’s Clown Poison. And if you’re a lipstick user, you shouldn’t be content to use your old standard, but should instead opt for kinky types like Sapphire Glitter Bomb, Alien Moon Goddess, and Cackling Black Witch. As for love, it wouldn’t make sense to seek out romantic adventures you’ve had a thousand times before. You need and deserve something like wild sacred eternal ecstasy or screaming sweaty flagrant bliss or blasphemously reverent waggling rapture.

caPrIcOrN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Actor Gary Oldman was born and raised in London. In the course of his long career he has portrayed a wide range of characters who speak English with American, Ger-man, and Russian accents. He has also lived in Los Angeles for years. When he signed on to play a British intelligent agent in the 2011 film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, he realized that over the years he had lost some of his native British accent. He had to take voice lessons to restore his original pronunciations. I suspect you have a metaphorically compara-ble project ahead of you, Capricorn. It may be time to get back to where you once belonged.

aQUarIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Ev-ery now and then, you’re blessed with a small miracle that inspires you to see everyday things with new vision. Common objects and prosaic experiences get stripped of their habitual expectations, al-lowing them to become almost as enchanting to you as they were before numb familiarity set in. The beloved people you take for grant-ed suddenly remind you of why you came to love them in the first place. Boring acquaintances may reveal sides of themselves that are quite entertaining. So are you ready and eager for just such an outbreak of curiosity and a surge of fun sur-prises? If you are, they will come. If you’re not, they won’t.

Homework: What was the pain that healed you most? Testify at www.FreeWillAstrology.com

This could be yours...

Buy.Sell.Trade.ChattanoogaHasCars.com

is looking for a few good

writersCan you craft a compelling 650-word short featureor pro�le—and a longer, in-depthfeature worthy ofour cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a fewgood freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills.

If you’ve got the “write stu�,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to:[email protected]

Free Will Astrology rob brezSNY


We Are Saving Mobile Lives

1906 Gunbarrel Rd.423-486-1668

(Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)

cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga

Mon-Fri: 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm

Closed Sunday

Coming soon to Hixson!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCeparties now!

daily lunCh & drink speCials!

410 market • (423) 757-wingsingitorwingit-chattanooga.com

CheCk outthe Cat in the hat

Organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond exhibition features works by 43 black

artists who explore the African American experience throughout the 20th century and celebrate the nature of American society.

African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum with generous support from:Alston & Bird; Amherst Holdings, LLC; Diane and Norman Bernstein Foundation; Larry Irving and Leslie Wiley; William R. Kenan, Jr. Endowment Fund; Clarence Otis and Jacqui Bradley; PEPCO;

The C.F. Foundation in Atlanta supports the museum’s traveling exhibition program, Treasures to Go.

Additional funding for this exhibit has been provided by Kitty and Hacker Caldwell.

ADULTS: $9.95 | CHILDREN 3-17: $4.95 | FREE FOR MEMBERS

OPEN EVERY DAY UNTIL 5 P.M.Wednesdays & Sundays 12 p.m. to 5 p.m. | Thursdays until 8 p.m.

Connect with the Hunter Museum!Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Flickr | Pinterest | YouTube

10 Bluff View | Chattanooga, TN 37403 | (423) 267-0968 | www.huntermuseum.org

Charles Searles, Celebration, 1975, acrylic, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Transfer from the General Services Administration, Art-in-Architecture Program


FAMOUS GOOD FOOD

3658 Ringgold RoadEast Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351

DOUG KELLER FAMOUS GRILLED WINGSGRILLED FRESH EVERY MONDAY

KARAOKE EVERY TUESDAY

LIVE MUSICEVERY WEDNESDAY 7PM TO CLOSE

TRIVIA EVERY THURSDAY

HAPPY HOUR UNTIL 7PM MON - FRIDAY

HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY SAT & SUN

Artspace✴ Survey for Chattanooga

LAUNCH PARTY!!!Tuesday, March 255:30 – 7:30 pm featuring

The 9th Street StompersNo charge to attend

CHURCH ON MAIN1601 Rossville Ave, 37408 FOR MORE INFORMATIONContact us at (423) 756-2787or at [email protected]

Chattanooga’s Artspace✴ Survey Launch Party is an opportunity to learn about building affordable live/work artist housing and studio space in Chattanooga. Please join us for refreshments, drink, music, information, and camaraderie.

COME CELEBRATE as we take a big step forward in supporting our arts organizations and creative community.

PLEASE JOIN US!

36451994

* Manufacturer’s suggested retail price does not include destination and delivery charges, tax, title and registration fees. Destination and delivery includes handling and inland freight fees and may vary in some states. Prices, specifi cations, options, features and models subject to change without notice. ** EPA-estimated fuel economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot be combined with any other incentive. Financing for well-qualifi ed applicants only. Length of contract is limited. Subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approval and vehicle availability. No down payment required. See participating dealers for details. Must take delivery from dealer stock by December 2, 2013 ****Tax, title and registration fees extra. Other leases available on other models. Cannot be combined with any other incentives. Special lease rates extended to well-qualifi ed buyers and are subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approval and vehicle availability. Lessee pays personal property and ad valorem taxes (where applicable), insurance, maintenance repairs not covered by warranty, excessive wear and tear and a mileage charge of 15 cents per mile for mileage over 12,000 miles per year. Dealer participation may affect fi nal cost. Offer not available in Hawaii. Cannot be combined with any other incentives or offers. Payments may be higher in some states. Must take delivery from dealer stock by December 2, 2013. Call 1-800-WANT-AWD or see participating dealers for details.

Now through December 2, 2013 Lease a new 2014 Forester for

$239/Month****

on a 36-Month Lease (Standard 2.5i 6MT model, code EFA-01) $1,939 due at lease signing. $0 security deposit.

Starting at

$21,995MSRP

900 RIVERFRONT PARKWAY • 423-490-0181MON.-FRI. 9 A.M.-6 P.M. • SAT. 9 A.M.-5 P.M.

Now through December 2, 2013 get

1.9% Financingon all new 2014 Forester Models****

Up to

32/24 MPG**

Highway/City

The Subaru Forester.®

Motor Trend’s 2014Sport/Utility of the Year.®

Come and check out the HUGE selection at Kelly Subaru 36451994



$239/Month****


Starting at

$21,995MSRP




Up to

32/24 MPG**

Highway/City

36451994



$239/Month****


Starting at

$21,995MSRP




Up to

32/24 MPG**

Highway/City


“It’s Really Nothing”--and nothing can stop you!

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0667

Across1 Casino features5 Pacific Coast salmon9 King novel about a rabid dog13 Feeling regret15 Group whose O doesn’t stand for “oil”16 Quite a distance away17 Commend highly18 Inbox item19 Expensive Japanese beef20 Amount of time before you stop reading inflammatory Web comments?23 Laughingstock24 Glitch25 Cincinnati-to-Detroit dir.26 $ fractions, for short29 Did hayfield work31 Wonder-ful count?33 Force that I’m certain will pull you back to Earth?37 “Let the Rabbit

Eat ___” (mail-in 1976 cereal contest)38 Hosp. area for critical cases39 Reese’s “Legally Blonde” role40 Food label units that don’t mind waiting around?45 Get retribution for46 Sour, as a stomach47 Icelandic band Sigur ___48 7, for 14 and 35: abbr.50 Microbrewery product51 Dr. with six Grammys54 Burp after drinking too many colas?57 Beloved honey lover60 Change of address, to a realtor61 Barracks barker, briefly62 Neighbor of Hank Hill63 Risk territory64 Wrath65 Several

66 Good, to Giuseppe67 Word appearing before or after each word in the long theme entriesDown1 Moda Center, e.g.2 Garb for groomsmen3 Catchers wear them4 ___-nosed kid5 1978 debut solo album by Rick James6 Abbr. on a phone dial7 Castle Grayskull hero8 “Nothing Compares 2 U” singer9 Blue Velvet, for one10 Roswell crasher11 MMA move12 Mined set?14 Comprehensive21 “To Sir With Love” singer22 John of the WWE26 Cook-off food27 “Her,” “She” or “It”28 Eye nuisances29 Confine

30 Record label named for an Asian capital32 Each’s partner33 Face-valued, as stocks34 “Top Chef” network35 Focus of traffic reports?36 Holy food?41 Round toaster brand42 Tension reliever43 “I Shot Andy Warhol” star Taylor44 “Battleship Potemkin” locale49 Big name in farm equipment51 Funeral lament52 Rival of Rafael and Novak53 January in Juarez54 Use your jaw55 Dash and splash56 Horatio who played Aaron Neville on “SNL”57 Kissing in public, e.g.58 Lummox59 “Nicely done!”

BUY ONEGET ONEFREE

423-499-3737 Next to Marshall’s Hamilton PlaceOr visit us online at pearlevision.com

Buy a complete pair (minimum purchase may apply) and receive a second complete pair upto a maximum value (maximum may vary) - same prescription. First pair must be of equal

or greater value to free pair. Valid prescription required. Excludes certain brands includingMaul Jim and Oakley. Cannot be combined or used in conjunction with any vision care orinsurance benefits or plans, any store or other offer, discount or sale, previous purchases,readers or non-prescription sunglasses. Valid at participating locations only. Void where

prohibited. Some restrictions may apply. See store for details. Offer ends 3/31/2014.

Serving Chattanooga for 36 Years

4818 Hixson Pike•870-2156Mon.-Thurs.•8:30am-10pmFri. & Sat.•8:30am-11pm

Guess who is on Facebook ... Like Us!PRICES GOOD THRU 3/29/14

KIM CRAWFORDSAUVIGNON BLANC,

CHARDONNAY, PINOT GRIS

& PINOT NOIR

750ML$10.98

CAYMUS CONUNDRUM

RED OR WHITE ALSO

EMMOLONAPA VALLEY

SAUVIGNON BLANC

750ML $14.96

PRINCIPATOPINOT GRIGIO,PINOT NOIR,

CAB.-MERLOT,PINOT GRIGIO-

CHARD.

1.5L$9.83

CHATEAU ST MICHELLEFROM WASHINGTON STATE

CABERNET & MERLOT 750ML $15.56

CHARDONNAY, PINOT GRIS & SAUVIGNON BLANC

750ML $10.48

REISLING, DRY REISLING, GEWÜRTZRAMINER HARVEST SELECT REISLING & NEW “ANEW”

750ML $9.15

CLOS DU BOISCHARDONNAY

1.5L $17.84CABERNET, MERLOT

PINOT NOIR

750ML $12.95CHARD, UNOAKED CHARD

ROUGE, PINOT GRIGIO

750ML $9.97

ECCODOMANIPINOT GRIGIO

750ML$7.96

SANTAMARGARITA

PINOT GRIGIO

750ML$19.85

ELSEWHERE OVER $30...TOO MUCH!

BLACK BOXWINES

CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITECABERNET,

CHARDONNAY,MOSCATO, ETC.

3L$18.99

LOUIS MARTINISONOMA CABERNETROBERT PARKER SAYS

“BEST CABERNETUNDER $17”

IN THE WORLD

750ML$12.95

CHECK OUT THESE PRICES!!

YELLOW TAIL ALL VARIETALS

“WOODBRIDGE” BY ROBERT MONDAVI, ALL VARIETALS

ALIVE WHITE ALL VARIETALS

BOLLA ITALINA WINES ALL VARIETALS

SUTTER HOME ALL VARIETALS

LINDEMANS ALL VARIETALS

1.5L $9.971.5L $9.971.5L $9.381.5L $8.97

1.5L $9.97

1.5L $9.97

Jonesin’ Crossword maTT joNeS


As soon as the elevator door slid open the smell of shit hit me like I was being mauled by a bear. Sure, it could have been worse; in contrast, the sudden scent of rotting flesh was reminiscent of being stabbed up the nostrils with a steel grilling fork…but feces?

Human poo, in particular, al-ways felt like a firm rancid pil-low being tied around your head in a gord-ian knot that held you there as if by an older sibling, grinning and drooling as he watched you struggle help-lessly against a wall of moist and putrid filth with little hope of escape until puberty gave you the strength to break free…and puberty was always years away. The smell of the hallway was that of a hospital, so it also had the scent of cleaners and attempts of sterility only matched in the smell of the homes of the termi-nally ill. It was a nasty predicament

form the start. I was cool, though. I was being paid by “taxpayers”, after all.

Dominique Hirsh had been a pa-tient in the local healthcare system and therefore a “victim” by all associ-ated rights and privileges. Admitted

to the local men-tal health care system, he had been drugged to the point of re-habilitation , and therefore release with a bottle of 30 Dilantin in his pocket, one for each day of January until the day before February. That’s why I was by no means surprised that on January 3, Dominique had been on his

own for two days with less than 10 Dilantin pills remaining on his per-son. And that, my Constant Readers, is where I came in.

Dominique Hirsh had tuberculo-sis, hepatitis C, and was HIV posi-tive. He became irate when he “came to” in the hospital from his preceding

bender and found himself anywhere but the living room he had passed out in, and the ensuing jostling of his known reality pushed him over the edge. He clearly felt he needed space because he flung his legs over the edge of his bed and began throw-ing every fixed and free object in his grasp out the doorway, and this didn’t stop until hospital security blocked his door with their shoulders. They decided to wait him out until he ran out of things to throw before they en-tered and subdued him.

Dominique must have picked up on this at some point, but was not deterred in the least. You see, magazines and empty cups were not all that were left. Dominique was working in concert with an ally none would expect—and that ally was, un-fortunately, his lower gastrointestinal system and its filthy, filthy products. Dominique would never run out of extra things to throw so long as his lower intestines functioned, and by all accounts, they were just peachy.

Dominique Hirsh began throwing his feces around like a freshly caged chimpanzee around 5:30 p.m., and by 5:31 p.m. staffers began calling the hospital’s risk manager. The risk manager was apparently more impor-tant than local EMTs and paramed-ics because he/she was the first call anytime, every time…and for good reason. Without the risk manager’s consent, the staff wouldn’t have been the only persons eligible to sue the corporation when they decided to al-low the local police, fire and EMS, and them only, to deal with their un-ruly guest, knowing his/her laundry list of maladies.

At first, only their own staff was rel-

egated to dealing with such a patient, but thanks to the risk manager, at least nine other outside people would be eligible to sue them, whereas their own staff would not have been given the chance due to the structure of the risk manager’s policies and practices.

As I arrived, Dominique bolted from his room to that of an 80-year-old female heart patient, and when he ran from her room in turn, the sound of medical alarms were enough to draw Quasimodo from his bell-ringing grave. Chairs were in the emergency room hallway, as were magazines, end tables, love seats, and chairs. Patient X (Dominique) had been in such a frenzy, everything in his room had been cast out, and in the confusion only I was left.

The staff had been correct. When he ran out of projectiles, the poo had indeed been flung, and civilized folks were left to deal with it. Dominique sensed his reign in Room 8 coming to an end as I arrived and ducked across the hall to Room 7 to wait me out, when he was caught. You see…

furtive movements from the wanted are not welcome and in fact specifi-cally prohibited, but when he flouted these rules, he paid a steep price. The staff’s plan of attacking him once he was out of ammo was sound, but that had never been my option. So as he ran, he was struck with the barbs of a taser and during the resulting fall he struck his head on a table before ly-ing prostrate before his captors.

Now, thanks to risk management, the TB/HepC/HIV patient was breathing, bleeding and screaming at-and-on local fire and police per-sonnel, whereas only staffers would have been exposed before. Domi-nique Hirsh was contained until his next release—but what about the re-sponders?

I handled the paperwork and charges and left, confident. I was on the taxpayers’ bankroll after all, and anyone would have done the same. Wouldn’t they? But here I was, won-dering if I had earned the taxpayers' right to say I had contacted folks with TB, hepatitis C, and HIV. It was enough for another assignment, wasn’t it?

So much to think about, so little time, but the door flung open and I was hit again by the fresh air of the outside.

It was bound to be good, because it didn’t smell like shit. And that was where the bar was held.

I just wanted everyone to be happy.

Working The Job I Deserve“Dominique would never run out of extra things to throw so long as his lower intestines functioned.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

Officer Alex recalls a time when risk management involved a lot of risk—as well as bodily functions.

On The BeatALEX TEACH

CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry!

Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers!

WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM

MORE MONEY FOR YOUR GOLD!

RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162


mojoburrito.com /mojoburrito

St. Elmo3815 St. Elmo Avenue

Chattanooga, TN 37409(423) 822-6656 (MOJO)

East Brainerd1414 Jenkins Road

Chattanooga, TN 37421(423) 296-6656 (MOJO)

Red Bank1800 Dayton BoulevardChattanooga, TN 37405(423) 870-6656 (MOJO)

You receive1. $300 in Bridge Bucks good for any art purchases Festival weekend.2. TWO tickets to the Preview Party.3. A limited edition, collectable 4 Bridges Festival pin created by Alex Nelson.4. TWO VIP Patron badges.4. TWO VIP Patron badges.5. ONE weekend VIP parking pass.

COLLECTOR PATRON $1000 ADVOCATE PATRON $500

PREVIEW PARTYSneak peek the entire 4 Bridges 2014

collection of fine art from around the country in the open air of the First Tennessee Pavilion. Eat delicious food and

enjoy a delightful cocktail, all while helping to make 4 Bridges happen. Join the party, be a Patron.

Purchase Your 4 Bridges Preview Party Tickets Online at4BRIDGESARTSFESTIVAL.ORG

THE PREMIER FINE ARTS EVENT

FRIDAY APRIL 11

MUSIC FOOD COCKTAILS ART

sponsored by

produced by

supportedby

You receive1. $750 in Bridge Bucks good for any art purchases Festival weekend. 2. TWO tickets to the Preview Party.3. A limited edition, collectable 4 Bridges. Festival pin created by Alex Nelson.4. TWO VIP Patron badges for entire weekend.4. TWO VIP Patron badges for entire weekend.5. ONE weekend VIP parking pass.6. $50 donated to AVA in your honor.

The Pulse 11.12 » March 20, 2014

Documents

Transcript of The Pulse 11.12 » March 20, 2014