Issue 14, March 2015

2

Issue 14, March 2015

Editor Talk

Hey, team. I know…it’s been a while. We didn’t forget about

you. We promise.

We’re back with the digital edition of issue 14! And we’ve got

some pretty exciting news. Matt Bowes, one of our regular

contributors, has joined our team as the new Arts + Film

Editor. I’m really happy that he’ll be more involved in The

Pulp and making sure you readers get the best film content

possible. Welcome, Matt!

Some more good news—we’ve been nominated for a

Yeggie! Also known as the Edmonton New Media Awards,

the Yeggies celebrates the best in new media in the city. I’m

honoured that The Pulp is even nominated. We’re up for the

Arts + Culture category. Pretty sweet.

Other than that, we’ve got tons of film, manga, artist, and

musing-related content for you this month. Enjoy!

Cheryl

Editor-in-Chief

thepulppress.com

Cover image: Gamora by Sylvia Moon

Back cover image: Link by Johnni Kok

The People of the Hour!

Cheryl Cottrell-Smith, Editor-in-Chief

Cosplayer, gamer, comic collector, anime lover, and bookworm. Enjoys all of these things more if there’s wine involved. @CottrellSmithC

Matt Bowes, Arts + Film Editor

A self-proclaimed cultural commentator of good taste, Matt enjoys movies and books, and writes about them at thisnerdinglife.com. @matt_bowes

Russ Dobler, Game/Science Columnist

Known as "Dog" to friends and weirdos, Russ is a wannabe scientist and beer lover. He can be found blogging at thoughtfulconduit.com/whatdoesthismean.

Allan Mott, Lit + Film Columnist

Film enthusiast and blogger at vanityfear.com. Allan can be found giving opinions on films and other cultural paraphernalia @HouseofGlib.

Erin Fraser, Lit + FIlm Columnist

Cinephile, comics lover, and all-round intelligent geek. When Erin isn’t watching movies, she’s talking about them on her podcast Trash, Art, and the Movies. @erinefraser

C. B. W. Caswell, Contributor Caswell has written about fashion, food, music, petroleum, arts&culture, and fiction for numerous local publications. He writes professionally and was nominated for the 2014 AMPA Emerging Writing Award.

magazine

3

Issue 14, March 2015

CONTENTS

lit + film

4 Magical Girls Don’t Always

Win Oscars – Erin Fraser

15 Why Haven’t You Watched

This Yet? Los Angeles Plays

Itself (2003) – Matt Bowes

20 One Too Many: Avenging

Force (1986) – Allan Mott

23 Why Did No One Tell Me

“Birdman” Is a Self-Righteous

Polemic? – Russ Dobler

23

4

10

comics + graphic novels

10 What to Read: Eyeshield 21 –

C. B. W. Caswell

nerd culture

17 Artist Alleys and the Growth

of Convention Culture –

Cheryl Cottrell-Smith

musings

26 Is it possible to stay young

forever? – Kelsey Beier

4

Issue 14, March 2015

Written by Erin Fraser | Images courtesy of Song of the

Sea and The Tale of Princess Kaguya film studios

Magical Girls

Don’t Always Win Oscars

5

Issue 14, March 2015

As a cinephile I have a

love/hate relationship with the

Academy Awards. On one hand,

for one night the general public

seems to care about film as much

as I do, but on the other, the

awards themselves seem to be

more and more a popularity

contest than any measure of

quality. Take the Best Animated

Feature category, for example.

This award has been handed out

for the past fourteen years and

nine of those have gone to

Hollywood’s biggest animated

studio, Walt Disney Pictures. All of

those nine films and three

additional winners from other

studios were made with CGI

animation, which has become

the new standard in children’s

entertainment. Only one hand-

drawn film and one claymation

feature have ever won, and that

was within the first five years of the

award’s existence. Unfortunately,

to my mind the category has

become a reflection of popularity

and box office as opposed to

celebrating the best in animation.

This is especially troubling if you

are a film lover and an animation

enthusiast like myself. While 3D

computer animation may be the

most popular mode of production

in Hollywood, studios like

Aardman in the United Kingdom,

Cartoon Saloon in Ireland, Ghibli

in Japan, Folimage

in France, and Laika in, yes, the

United States, continue to use

traditional hand-drawn and stop

motion techniques with stunning

films are deeply affecting stories

that are told with some of the most

beautiful animation in recent years,

if not ever.

The two films are surprisingly

similar. Both feature gorgeous

hand-drawn animation with a

watercolour aesthetic, both are

inspired by well-known folklore from

their respective countries, and

both are coming-of-age stories

that centre on girls with mysterious

and magical origins. They are both

very unique cinematic experiences

that touch on different and deeply

affecting aspects of growing up

and finding one’s place in the

world.

Tomm Moore’s Song Of The Sea

Irish animator Tom Moore, best

known for his previous Oscar-

nominated feature The Book Of

Kells, brings us the story of Ben and

his little sister Saoirse in Song of the

Sea. Six years ago, on the night of

Saorise’s birth, their mother

disappeared mysteriously and

suddenly, leaving her husband to

care for and raise the two young

children on a secluded island

where he mans the lighthouse. Ben

resents Saoirse; she is drawn to the

sea and Ben, who perpetually

sports a lifejacket, is afraid of the

water. When she is discovered

missing from her bed one evening

as she has taken off for a

clandestine swim, the children’s

paternal grandmother insists on

taking them with her to live in the

city, separating Ben from his

United States, continue to use

traditional hand-drawn and stop

motion techniques with stunning

results. These studios put artistry and

creativity before merchandising

and attempts at box office

domination.

So you can see my frustration

and sadness when I read the

Academy Award results last month

(I wouldn’t dare watch them, as

like I said they make me mad…and

you wouldn’t like me when I’m

mad) and learnt that Disney’s Big

Hero 6 (Don Hall and Chris Williams,

2014) won over its fellow nominees,

including: Laika’s The Boxtrolls

(Graham Annable and Anthony

Stacchi, 2014), Cartoon Saloon’s

Song Of The Sea (Tomm Moore,

2014), and Ghibli’s The Tale Of The

Princess Kaguya (Isao Takahata,

2013). Don’t get me wrong, I

enjoyed Big Hero 6 quite a lot and

thought it was a better film than the

other CGI nominee, How To Train

Your Dragon 2 (Dean DeBlois, 2014),

but it was nowhere near as

imaginative, eloquent, or moving

as some of its competition.

While The Boxtrolls was lucky

enough to receive a wide release

and many have had the chance to

see this wonderful film in theatres,

Song Of The Sea and Princess

Kaguya have not received quite

the same widespread attention

from filmgoers, despite their

nominations. This is a shame, as

both films are deeply affecting

stories that are told with some of

the most beautiful animation in

recent years, if not ever.

6

Issue 14, March 2015

Tomm Moore’s Song Of The Sea

Irish animator Tom Moore, best known for his previous Oscar-nominated feature The Book Of Kells, brings us

the story of Ben and his little sister Saoirse in Song of the Sea. Six years ago, on the night of Saorise’s birth, their

mother disappeared mysteriously and suddenly, leaving her husband to care for and raise the two young

children on a secluded island where he mans the lighthouse. Ben resents Saoirse; she is drawn to the sea and

Ben, who perpetually sports a lifejacket, is afraid of the water. When she is discovered missing from her bed

one evening as she has taken off for a clandestine swim, the children’s paternal grandmother insists on taking

them with her to live in the city, separating Ben from his beloved dog Cú and Saoirse from the sea. It doesn’t

take long for the children to sneak out of their beds and begin their perilous journey back home. Along the

way they learn the truth about the ancient Celtic myths their mother passed on to them and why Saoirse has

never spoken a word in her short life.

Visually, the film finds depth in flatness. The stunning animation uses a rich colour palette that perfectly

evokes the Irish setting. Seemingly drawn from motifs in traditional Celtic art, the recurring use of circles and

spirals underscores the connection between the characters, the land, and the magic that infuses both. I firmly

believe that there is a level of detail and an intimacy in 2D hand drawn animation that 3D CGI computer

animation cannot replicate, and, as we see in Song of The Sea, Moore is one of the best artists currently

working in traditional animation.

The film is inspired by the myth of the selkie, Celtic mermaids who transform from seals to seemingly human

women when on land. The legends describe how these shape shifters wash up on shore and take human

lovers, but this always ends in tragedy, as the call of the sea is too strong for the selkie to resist. In Song Of The

Sea however, selkies hold the power to liberate daoine sídhe, or fae folk, who have been turned to stone by a

powerful owl witch named Macha.

As opposed to tragedy and romance, the traditional topic of the stories of selkies, Moore uses the myth to

craft an engaging tale about the importance of family and dealing with one’s emotions. While early on in the

film Ben resents Saoirse and wants little to do with her, over the course of their journey he begins to appreciate

her, especially when faced the prospect of losing her. He has to confront his greatest fear, the sea, in order to

save her and keep his family together. Saoirse, for her part, has to push past her feelings of sorrow and find the

inner strength to both accept her destiny as well as her place among her family. Meanwhile, the whole family

must cope with the mysterious disappearance of their mother, learning to accept her absence and come to

terms with their loss.

When faced with criticism that his films The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth were too scary for children, Jim

Henson claimed that he felt that it wasn’t healthy for children to always feel safe and that it was important to

scare them. Moore understands this. We have a tendency to view childhood as an idyllic carefree time in

one’s life, and feel that children need to be protected from fear and sadness. The truth is, though, that

growing up is full of anxiety. It is just as important for children to learn how to process these emotions as it is for

adults.

7

Issue 14, March 2015

detail and an intimacy in 2D hand drawn animation that 3D CGI

computer animation cannot replicate, and, as we see in Song of The

Sea, Moore is one of the best artists currently working in traditional

animation.

The film is inspired by the myth of the selkie, Celtic mermaids who

transform from seals to seemingly human women when on land. The

legends describe how these shape shifters wash up on shore and take

human lovers, but this always ends in tragedy, as the call of the sea is

too strong for the selkie to resist. In Song Of The Sea however, selkies

hold the power to liberate daoine sídhe, or fae folk, who have been

turned to stone by a powerful owl witch named Macha.

As opposed to tragedy and romance, the traditional topic of the

stories of selkies, Moore uses the myth to craft an engaging tale about

the importance of family and dealing with one’s emotions. While early

on in the film Ben resents Saoirse and wants little to do with her, over

the course of their journey he begins to appreciate her, especially

when faced the prospect of losing her. He has to confront his greatest

fear, the sea, in order to save her and keep his family together.

Saoirse, for her part, has to push past her feelings of sorrow and find

the inner strength to both accept her destiny as well as her place

among her family. Meanwhile, the whole family must cope with the

mysterious disappearance of their mother, learning to accept her

absence and come to terms with their loss.

When faced with criticism that his films The Dark Crystal and

Labyrinth were too scary for children, Jim Henson claimed that he felt

that it wasn’t healthy for children to always feel safe and that it was

important to scare them. Moore understands this. We have a

tendency to view childhood as an idyllic carefree time in one’s life,

and feel that children need to be protected from fear and sadness.

The truth is, though, that growing up is full of anxiety. It is just as

important for children to learn how to process these emotions as it is

for adults.

In Song Of The Sea, Moore beautifully expresses this with a villain

who bottles up others’ emotions so as to not have to deal with feelings

at all, good or bad. The horror of this is apparent, but it is also a

realistic representation of the way children and adults alike are told to

deal with their feelings. Our family of heroes shows us that not only

takes strength to face one’s anxieties head on but also that it is a

necessary part of growing up and living a full life.

Isao Takahata’s The Tale Of The Princess Kaguya

In The Tale Of The Princess Kaguya, filmmaker Isao Takahata

8

Issue 14, March 2015

In The Tale Of The Princess

Kaguya, filmmaker Isao Takahata

presents a similar narrative of

growing up and coming to terms

with one’s place in life, but with a

larger, more sweeping scope.

Takahata is a living legend in the

field of animation. One of the

founders of the acclaimed Studio

Ghibli (the other being the

celebrated Hayao Miyazaki), the 79

year-old director is responsible for

many well-loved films and series

including Heidi: A Girl Of The Alps

(1974), Only Yesterday (1991), Pom

Poko (1994), My Neighbours The

Yamadas (1999), and Grave Of The

Fireflies (1988), which is one of the

single most emotionally devastating

films ever made. Kaguya stands to

be his final film, and many would

argue that it is his best.

Based on Japan’s oldest folktale,

“The Tale Of The Bamboo Cutter,”

the film follows the life of a

mysterious young woman from her

infancy to her adulthood. While out

working one day, a bamboo cutter

discovers a tiny girl inside a glowing

bamboo stalk. He takes the baby

home to his wife and the two

decide to raise her as a princess,

believing her to be royalty. As she

matures, her parents decide that it

isn’t proper to raise her in the

mountainous countryside, so they

relocate to the city where she can

learn to be a noblewoman. There

she is given the name Princess

Kaguya. However, life in the city

doesn’t suit Kaguya, and she falls

into a depression as she misses her

friends and her carefree life in the

Kaguya. However, life in the city

doesn’t suit Kaguya, and she falls

into a depression as she misses her

friends and her carefree life in the

countryside. Eventually she comes

to understand that she was born a

princess on the moon and was sent

to Earth to live a mortal life. As

Kaguya begins to feel the pull of

the moon drawing her back home,

she clings strongly to her life on

Earth, knowing that she will lose all

of her memories once she ascends

and takes her place in the moon

kingdom.

The film was in production for

over five years and the

craftsmanship shows on screen.

Animated in a style similar to

Takahata’s previous film, Yamadas,

Kaguya has a very distinct style and

look that is unlike the typical anime

aesthetic. Rather than bright

colours and angular lines, it

resembles traditional Japanese

paintings and calligraphy with a

watercolour palette and fluid

movement. The brush strokes that

make up the characters are

apparent, and rather than immerse

the audience in a perfectly

constructed world, Takahata lays

bare the film’s amazing artistry so

that you can appreciate the details

in every frame. The result is a film

that feels timeless.

While a distinctly Japanese tale,

Kaguya’s story is also an

exceptionally universal one. The film

provides an empathetic portrait of

growing up and coming to terms

with one’s identity. Kaguya’s

childhood in the mountains is idyllic;

Isao Takahata’s The

Tale Of The Princess

Kaguya

9

Issue 14, March 2015

provides an empathetic portrait of

growing up and coming to terms

with one’s identity. Kaguya’s

childhood in the mountains is idyllic;

she has a large group of friends to

play with and enjoys a great deal

of freedom exploring the

environment. When she is moved to

the city she is confined and

isolated. She is taught how to dress

and act like a lady, a process that

includes uncomfortable dress and

painting her teeth black. Here the

film takes on the classism and

sexism found in society at the time.

Other girls gossip that Kaguya’s

common parents are trying to buy

her nobility and look down on her

for this; while Kaguya finds herself at

odds with the strange customs of

femininity that she is expected to

adhere to. Sadly, when she returns

to the countryside to visit her

friends, especially Sutemaru, a boy

she had grown especially close to,

she discovers that they have

moved on without her. This

realization causes her to grow

distant. As her inherent virtues, her

beauty, become known

throughout the land, powerful men

moved on without her. This

realization causes her to grow

distant. As her inherent virtues, her

beauty, become known

throughout the land, powerful men

begin to declare their love for her

and seek her hand in marriage,

and she toys with her would-be

suitors in humorous but cruel ways.

Her despondency is deeply felt as

she deals with expectations and

responsibilities that are placed on

her because of her status and

gender, and not her own desires.

As the moon begins to call her

back, Kaguya becomes even more

distraught.

Despite her unhappiness, she is

attached to her life on Earth and

wishes to hold on to it. She returns

once more to the mountains to be

with Sutemaru, who has grown up

and now has a wife and family of

his own. They spend one last

moment together flying through the

air and Kaguya reveals that she

would have been happy with him.

This final meeting is bittersweet, as

both Kaguya and Sutemaru cling to

her humanity. Ultimately though,

she has to accept her destiny and

would have been happy with him.

This final meeting is bittersweet, as

both Kaguya and Sutemaru cling to

her humanity. Ultimately though,

she has to accept her destiny and

rejoin her immortal place among

the celestial court. In doing so, she

finally concedes to leaving her

childhood behind and becomes an

adult.

Song Of The Sea and The Tale Of

The Princess Kaguya are both

powerful and empathetic films

about the process of growing up

and accepting one’s place in the

world. Tom Moore and Isao

Takahata are both exceptional

filmmakers and animators who tell

visually striking stories with deeply

moving characters. While not as

popular as other animated films

that came out this year, these two

are undoubtedly the best,

regardless of what the Academy

says.

10

Issue 14, March 2015

What to Read:

Eyeshield 21 Written by C. B. W. Caswell |

Images courtesy of Riichiro

Inagaki and Yusuke Murata

Eyeshield 21

11

Issue 14, March 2015

Published: 2002—2009

Chapters: 333

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Sports

Summary: Sena Kobayakawa is a runty, push-over

freshman drafted into his high-school’s American Football

Club. After becoming a school celebrity thanks to his

amazing speed, he takes on the mantle of Eyeshield 21 to

hide his identity — not knowing that he’s not the first

Eyeshield 21 or just how difficult, dangerous, and amazing

American football really is.

Favourite Character: Hiruma Mamori

Why you should read it: It makes football accessible to

people who wouldn’t normally be into it (like many

anime/manga enthusiasts), has amazing illustrations, and

develops group of characters you’ll remember long after

you’re finished.

“I don’t know anything about football,” I told my poker buddy,

Daniel Lu.

“Doesn’t matter,” Danny replied, not looking up from his hand

of bum poker cards. “Read it.”

“I don’t even really like it as a sport.” I’d go to a game. I could

watch it on TV. But as soon as someone started in on stats

and player histories and yelling for any reason, I’d check out.

“Doesn’t matter, read it.”

“And I’m actually into a couple of other manga at the moment

and I don’t think I’ll have the time—“

“Doesn’t matter, read it.”

So, I read it. And I’ve read it front-to-back twice since. And it’s

a story I come back to every couple of years, with characters

that I miss and an exciting narrative arc that is both about/not

about football.

Written by Riichiro Inagaki (who served as a judge for the

Tezuka Award with Akira Toriyama of Dragonball/Dragon

12

Issue 14, March 2015

Written by Riichiro Inagaki (who served as a judge for the

Tezuka Award with Akira Toriyama of Dragonball/Dragon

Quest fame and Eiichiro Oda, known as the creator of One

Piece) and illustrated by Yusuke Murata (who is currently

illustrating the sardonic and fantastic One-Punch

Man), Eyeshield 21 is the story of high-school freshman Sena

Kobayakawa.

A runt all his life, Sena was constantly picked on and, since

he was always running from bullies, he inadvertently

developed amazing speed. Spotted running by the American

football club’s captain, he’s drafted on the spot—to a team of

two members (American-style football isn’t exactly huge as a

sport in Japan). The story begins with Sena and his two new

friends cobbling together enough members to make a full

team, each with unique abilities making them perfect for their

roles as linemen, receivers, and kickers.

The goal? The Japanese American football championship. At

least, until they’re ready to take on nationals, and eventually

the world.

So, why do I read this every couple of years?

The Football

I developed an appreciation for football

reading Eyeshield because of the way it’s integrated into the

story. Like most manga, where the main character develops

a technique and further refines it throughout the series (Goku

going Super Saiyan, Naruto’s Rasengan, etc.), Sena

develops his ability to run. However, the manga constantly

refers to actual football techniques that he gains from

coaching or watching other players. Sena learns how to

properly cut and pivot, the defensive linemen learn how to

bump, the receiver learns how to make a backwards catch,

and so on. Also, famous football plays are also integrated

into the team strategy.

What gives the techniques a cartoonish edge is how each is

given a title. A running cross-over step (used to change

direction without losing speed) is called the Devil Bat Ghost,

given a title. A running cross-over step (used to change

direction without losing speed) is called the Devil Bat Ghost,

and the illustration surrounding each technique creates a

visual metaphor for the purpose the technique serves.

Sena using his technique, the Devil Bat Ghost

Also, each team that’s encountered in the America Football

league sticks to a theme based on their name. One team

that’s based on Knights (Teikoku High School’s Alexanders)

has a running back whose one-armed tackles are depicted as

spears. Another team with a western theme (Seibu High

School’s Wild Gunmans [sic]) has a quarterback whose

throws are so fast his arm is compared to a pistol.

All of this adds a great cartoonish element to football that not

only makes it exciting for those who aren’t fans of the sport,

but also gives a lot of opportunity for amazing illustrations, all

of which are taken advantage of by the dramatic shots drawn

by Yusuke Murata.

13

Issue 14, March 2015

The Story/Character Arc

You’re aware of every character’s motivations and every

character has a goal. Considering the roster for Eyeshield

21 has over 40 characters, this is a monumental feat of

writing and gives the story depth no matter who the story

centres on in a particular chapter.

And the team dynamic is second to none. Since each

character has a full personality, you have a sense of what

they would act like. It makes the victories more exciting, the

losses more heartfelt, and the jokes all the funnier. It’s so

much fun to watch characters bounce off one another in ways

that you wouldn’t expect.

There’s also the way the story develops tension between the

schools. The Devil-Bats (the name of Sena’s high-school

team) lose to a team and end up coming back to beat them.

Hated, irredeemable enemies become teammates—some of

the best chapters are where former nemeses join with the

Devil-Bats; these characters that were once such a threat to

the team are now a menace to newer, stronger opponents.

Admittedly, the character roster is light on female characters

and the ones that take part are given roles such as the

clubhouse cleaner and cheerleader. However, their

personalities more than make up for their light roles and

they’re treated as serious characters.

In the end, Eyeshield 21 is a visual and storytelling triumph.

Its characters are as detailed as the action scenes and every

moment feels like you’re in the stands. And as someone who

never understood the excitement of high school football, the

Deimon High Devil Bats gave me a good idea of what I was

missing.

Hated, irredeemable enemies become teammates—some of

the best chapters are where former nemeses join with the

Devil-Bats; these characters that were once such a threat to

the team are now a menace to newer, stronger opponents.

Admittedly, the character roster is light on female characters

and the ones that take part are given roles such as the

clubhouse cleaner and cheerleader. However, their

personalities more than make up for their light roles and

they’re treated as serious characters.

In the end, Eyeshield 21 is a visual and storytelling triumph.

Its characters are as detailed as the action scenes and every

moment feels like you’re in the stands. And as someone who

never understood the excitement of high school football, the

Deimon High Devil Bats gave me a good idea of what I was

missing.

14

Issue 14, March 2015

issuu.com/thepulp

15

Issue 14, March 2015

Why Haven’t

You Watched

This Yet?

Los Angeles Plays

Itself (2003)

Written by Matt Bowes | Images

courtesy of Thom Anderson

Whether or not you’ve actually

been to Los Angeles doesn’t matter. We’ve all gone there, together really, in two-hour

increments delivered to us by Hollywood filmmakers. We

all have our own idea of Los Angeles in our heads as a

result, and to be quite honest, sometimes that city

doesn’t always come off so well. It’s a city populated by

Hollywood weirdoes, of excess, vice and corruption. Of

smog and phonies, overshadowed in the public

consciousness as a city of the future now by tech

bastions found in Silicon Valley to the north. A now

ironically-named City of Angels.

Whether it’s desperately in need of a New York City

cop to fend off thieves masquerading as terrorists, the

site of murder, mayhem and discussions about fast

food, the collision of hard-boiled detectives and femmes

fatale following the Second World War, or first on the list

of cities targeted for destruction by aliens, the movies

have not been entirely kind to Los Angeles.

Los Angeles Plays Itself, which has finally come to

DVD after many years of being unavailable by legal

means, is an attempt to fix the ontological damage

Hollywood has caused to the city. It’s an essay film, a

collection of hundreds of movie scenes spliced together

with narration in order to make an argument. Filmmaker

Thom Anderson appreciates his city on multiple levels,

and through use of narration in the film related to us by

Encke King his movie proves him a tenacious and loving

caretaker of this place.

The interplay between narration and film samples is

key. While it takes a little bit of getting used to, King’s

gravelly voice relating Andersen’s words becomes like

our tour guide over the three hours of Los Angeles Plays

Itself. It feels like the ancestor of newer essay

filmmakers, most notably Red Letter Media’s Mr.

Plinkett and his take downs of the Star Wars prequel

trilogy, or series found at PressPlay. King’s voice has the

tone of a world-weary private eye, the kind of character

we see depicted so often in Los Angeles.

Andersen proves quite angry about the treatment of

16

Issue 14, March 2015

trilogy, or series found at PressPlay. King’s voice has the

tone of a world-weary private eye, the kind of character

we see depicted so often in Los Angeles.

Andersen proves quite angry about the treatment of

his home, almost overly so, which becomes a

fascinating counterpoint to the official narratives trotted

out by the Hollywood studios. I think most film viewers

haven’t really heard this sort of a rebuttal to how Los

Angeles is characteristically depicted, and it’s

fascinating to think about. Andersen is mad about how

the city’s geography has been warped by film, and how

the only way he’s able to see parts of it anymore are by

watching old movies, as, like my own home, Los Angeles

has a terrible record of maintaining historical buildings.

Andersen does a great job of explaining to viewers

how New York is somehow inherently cinematic,

inherently its own, while Los Angeles must be used

correctly, staged perfectly, in order to achieve the same

effect.

The film is split into sections, the first of which is

called The City as Background. Here, Andersen

examines how Los Angeles was often used to represent

other cities, often to hilariously incongruous effect. One

great example comes with James Cagney and The Public

Enemy, which barely even attempted to hide the grass

sprouting out near new L.A. developments pretending to

be downtown Chicago’s streets. Andersen does a great

job of explaining to viewers how New York is somehow

inherently cinematic, inherently its own, while Los

Angeles must be used correctly, staged perfectly, in

order to achieve the same effect.

Andersen is also confounded by Hollywood’s

reluctance to leave the city’s relatively small downtown

core. Los Angeles, he tells us, is a city of sprawl, many

small villages linked together by roads, and the best

films shot there at least attempt to acknowledge this

fact. Something like the original Gone in Sixty Seconds,

where exciting car chases burn rubber through the city’s

industrial district, or Kiss Me Deadly, where protagonist

Mike Hammer has an actual verifiable address, which

lies next to the actual roads used in the movie.

I think the film is at its best when it discusses

architecture, and the way that film is able to adhere

identity to these spaces. He might honestly change the

fact. Something like the original Gone in Sixty Seconds,

where exciting car chases burn rubber through the city’s

industrial district, or Kiss Me Deadly, where protagonist

Mike Hammer has an actual verifiable address, which

lies next to the actual roads used in the movie.

I think the film is at its best when it discusses

architecture, and the way that film is able to adhere

identity to these spaces. He might honestly change the

way you watch movies, as he points out how modernist

houses are inextricably linked with drug kingpins and

corrupt government officials while Spanish Revival

bungalows, while phony, give off a certain veneer that

has become confused with authenticity. Fascinating

stuff. There’s also a great sequence where Andersen

talks about the few landmarks that are recognizable to

outsiders to Los Angeles, like the City Hall building, the

Bonaventure Hotel and the Bradbury Building.

If I have one criticism, it’s that the home video

release of the film does not add any new material.

Andersen’s examination of Los Angeles stops around

2001, with the most recent movie being David

Lynch’s Mulholland Drive. I would have liked to see what

Andersen thinks of newer films, like Nicholas Winding

Refn’s Drive, or Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales. Luckily,

a Vimeo producer named Colin Marshall has picked up

the slack. So why haven’t you watched Los Angeles

Plays Itself yet? Well, as you can expect with a film

comprised almost entirely out of scenes from other

films, the legalities of getting distribution proved

challenging. Luckily for us, they’ve figured it out and now

everyone can enjoy this examination of place and theme

on film. Los Angeles Play Itself might not completely

change your mind about the “most photographed city in

the world,” but what it might do is make you think about

how cities are characterized by artworks set there.

Check out those feathers!

17

Issue 14, March 2015

Artist Alleys and the Growth of

Convention Culture

[Image by Johnni Kok] Written by Cheryl Cottrell-Smith | Images courtesy of

Johnni Kok, Sylvia Moon and Arty McFly

18

Issue 14, March 2015

Artist Alleys are a convention

staple. An easy way to spend the better

part of your day browsing paintings of

your favourite comic characters,

canvases filled with fantasy worlds,

and prints of mashups that you

couldn’t have dreamt up even after an

entire bottle of absinthe. While

cosplayers might bring your fandoms

to life, the artists of Artist Alley capture

them in ways that are less ephemeral—

on raw materials that you can take

home with you at the end of the day.

It’s a beautiful sight, Artist Alley—

usually stuffed full of people examining

artwork, discussing fandoms and

techniques with the artists. Street

clothes and cosplays mingle in a

delightfully quirky mix of multi-

coloured hair and elaborate costumes

alongside those outfitted with anime t-

shirts and button-riddled backpacks.

When a multitude of fandoms come

together, you can feel the solidarity.

The instant connection.

Except for some. If you’re even

remotely interested in comics or

cosplay, you’ll have heard about the

Pat Broderick fiasco late last year.

Broderick, a comic book artist known

for the Micronauts and “Batman: Year

Three,” made a public Facebook

post on December 4, 2014 against

cosplayers, saying that the people who

cosplay and the conventions that

promote them “bring nothing of value

to the shows.” This derailed into a full-

on social media debate, with many

artists admitting that their distaste for

cosplay stemmed from the

attention (and revenue) they drew

away from the artist booths.

Artist Alleys are, of course, about

cosplay stemmed from the attention

(and revenue) they drew away from the

artist booths.

Artist Alleys are, of course, about

the artists. The attention should be on

the people making the effort to come to

the event, set up, and put themselves

and their hard work on display. While

cosplay might steal the spotlight once

in a while, not all artists believe there

needs to be a divide between the two

groups.

Johnni Kok, an artist known for

kitbashing pop culture themes and

putting his own unique spin on them

(including toughening up categorically

weaker characters and adding a cute

side to terrifying ones), looks at the

bright side to the growing popularity

of convention culture.

"...never treat a cosplayer poorly if

you don't think they'll spend money at

bright side to the growing popularity of

convention culture.

“The growth means more

opportunity,” says Johnni.

“[Celebrities and cosplayers are] great

from a marketing standpoint…I love

cosplayers! Some of my best

supporters are cosplayers…and when

[one] makes a costume based on one of

my designs, I’m on cloud nine. As an

artist in Artist Alley, never treat a

cosplayer poorly if you don't think

they'll spend money at your table. They

might come back dressed [in street

clothes] later to pick up art since now

they'll have their wallets, purses, and,

you know...pants.”

Sylvia Moon is an anime and manga

artist who has been attending,

displaying, and volunteering at

conventions since 1999. A graduate of

MacEwan’s Design program with a

specialization in Digital Media, Sylvia

dabbles in a variety of genres outside of

her primary artwork and helped begin

Animethon’s first Artist Alley almost a

decade ago.

“[Celebrity guests and cosplayers

are] a double-edged sword,” says

Sylvia. “Celebrities are great but too

many at a comic-centric con might not

make it seem like they care much about

the latter. As for cosplayers, it really

takes guts and skill to get into a

costume before arriving at a con, let

alone creating it.”

Showcasing any form of art or

creation to the world can be a stressful

task. Many people might not realize the

patience and tenacity it takes to run a

booth at a convention—artists in

particular tend to manage their booths

solo and are required to arrive before

[Image by Sylvia Moon]

19

Issue 14, March 2015

patience and tenacity it takes to run a

booth at a convention—artists in

particular tend to manage their booths

solo and are required to arrive before

open and pack up after close.

“It’s stressful to personally bring

your gear and set up your table every

day that the con is open,” says Sylvia.

“Especially if you don’t have help or a

system of help from others…[but]

exposure, just getting your name out

there, is important. Seeing what’s new

and who is coming into the industry is

important to know.”

There’s a lot of pressure on artists

to be at the top of their game for

conventions. It’s a large investment of

time and money, with long hours

promoting your work and fielding

requests and comments from

convention-goers. And, as Johnni says,

there are “the smells” that you have to

put up with (thousands of people in a

confined space make certain things

unavoidable).

“I love conventions because you can

really get that moment to geek out with

people who love the things I love and

who usually like the things that I

draw,” says Johnni. “It really means a

lot to me that people will spend their

people who love the things I love and

who usually like the things that I

draw,” says Johnni. “It really means a

lot to me that people will spend their

time and hard-earned money at my

table.”

Arty McFly, a newcomer to the

Artist Alley scene who creates mashups

of what she terms “pop culture and

boredom,” made her Artist Alley debut

at A Taste of Animethon last month.

“It was exhilarating! I love being

able to talk to people about what they

like, why they’re here, about my work,

[and] about their favourite pop culture

things,” says Arty. “There’s a lot of foot

traffic…you’re exposed to a lot of

people in one area and that’s pretty

terrific. [Although] a downfall is that

there are a lot of other artists there to

do the same thing.”

With long hours, plenty of

competition, and minimal time

available to actually enjoy the events

they’re at, our artists deserve all the

support they can get.

But what can conventions do

to make the experience even

better for the people manning

But what can conventions do

to make the experience even

better for the people manning

Artist Alley?

“I find that some shows treat Artist

Alley and comic creator guests as an

afterthought,” says Johnni. “I

understand that we have the lowest

cost of entry when you compare our

tables to general vendor booths, but

some shows almost make you wonder

if someone from the organization was

debating between putting a ball pit or

an Artist Alley in the corner of the hall.

Regular correspondence from event

coordinators and getting prompt

replies to my emails is [a] huge deal to

me.”

“Artists are always a strange grey

area for conventions,” says Sylvia. “We

pay a reduced fee for a small space

with more restrictions and we have to

reserve our space for the following year

by the con’s end. It really doesn't

encourage change and makes the Alley

predictable. [They could] really study

what artists are doing to their tables

and find guidelines to streamline that

process.”

And, of course, artists gotta eat.

“Lunch or coffee vouchers would be

rad,” says Arty. “Not gonna lie!”

Sylvia Moon Facebook | Twitter | DeviantArt

Johnni Kok Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Arty McFly Facebook | Tumblr

[Image by Arty McFly]

20

Issue 14, March 2015

One Too Many:

Avenging Force (1986)

Written by Allan Mott | Images

courtesy of Sam Firstenberg and

Avenging Force

21

Issue 14, March 2015

It’s almost like a Zen koan. If a movie studio makes a sequel to

a past hit, but casts a different actor in the starring role and doesn’t

actually tell anyone that the two films are connected, is it still a

sequel?

History is filled with scripts to sequels that never got made

and were retrofitted to become original projects (for example, this

year should finally see the release of the long-delayed Solace, a film

whose script development began as Ei8ht, a sequel to Se7en that

David Fincher ultimately rejected), as well as franchises that

continued after their original stars bailed, but Avenging Force is

the rare example of a film that was developed and made as a

sequel, but then marketed and released without any mention of its

connection to the previous film.

This seems especially odd when you consider the film was

produced by Menaham Golan and Yoram Globus of Cannon

Studios fame—as unabashedly sequel-happy a studio that has ever

existed (to the point of being responsible for the most famous

sequel title of all-time, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo). As the

dudes responsible for not one, but four American Ninja movies,

six Lemon Popsicle films, Superman IV: The Quest for

Peace and Rambo III, it seems bizarre that they would choose to

play down the fact that Avenging Force featured the return of a

popular action movie character. In fact, it’s so bizarre that there’s

only one reasonable way to explain it.

They were afraid of Chuck Norris.

Because the original film in question was Norris’ Invasion

U.S.A. and his refusal to take part in Avenging Force is easily

explained once you’ve seen how spectacularly the politics of the

two films diverge. According to IMDb, Norris turned down the role

only because he was busy making The Delta

Force and Firewalker for Golan & Globus that same year, but the

fact is that the production of Avenging Force could have been

easily delayed if that was the only issue. No, it went ahead without

him because there was no way he would have ever appeared in a

film in which he had far more in common with the villains than the

hero. was the first film for which Norris took a writing credit and it

clearly shows. In it, he plays a former CIA operative named Matt

Hunter, who—after a life of deadly action and danger—is now

content to live a quiet life in the Louisiana bayou. But his tranquil

existence is upended when a group of multi-ethnic communists

engage in what is not so much the invasion suggested in the title,

but instead a series of random acts of terrorism (including the off-

screen bombing of an amusement park carousel filled with

children).

Spurred back into action by his sense of outrage and duty, he

then proceeds to become a one-man killing machine, mowing

down the terrorists like they’re so much tissue paper—to the point

that he makes it through the final gauntlet of them without so

much as a cut on his cheek or a hair out of place.

It’s a quintessentially ‘80s Cold War action film—devoid of

down the terrorists like they’re so much tissue paper—to the point

that he makes it through the final gauntlet of them without so

much as a cut on his cheek or a hair out of place.

It’s a quintessentially ‘80s Cold War action film—devoid of

irony or nuance. In fact, the most entertaining part of watching it

today comes from laughing at its complete sincerity. It’s a film co-

written and starring a man who proudly voted for Ronald Reagan

and who would only grow to become more publicly conservative as

the years went on—“penning” (with liberal dashes of plagiarism) a

syndicated column dedicated to his right-wing politics, along with

a book entitled Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America,

while also appearing in political ads for Republican presidential

wannabe, Mike Huckabee.

We can only imagine then how he reacted when he read

screenwriter James Booth’s (a British character actor who would

also go on to write the second American Ninja movie) script for

the film’s sequel. In continuing the adventures of Matt Hunter,

Booth did what a lot of screenwriters do—he looked at what

happened in the first film and devised a scenario that reversed it. If

in Invasion U.S.A. the villains were psychotic left-wing commie

terrorists looking to cause chaos through fear and violence, then

in Avenging Force they would be psychotic right-wing members of

a secret society hell-bent on using their wealth and influence to

mould the country into their survival-of-the-strongest racist

worldview.

Not only did Norris read a script that found the villains

espousing a philosophy similar (if a lot more cartoonishly extreme)

to his own, but it also demanded that at one point he actually say

the line, “Because sometimes in politics…you have evil men who

won’t stop at anything to get rich and gain power over other

people.”

It was as if Booth had taken Norris’ original concept and

turned it into a photonegative of itself—turning the former film’s

commie-panic into a liberal call to action against right-wing

hegemony. So, the reality was that Norris was ALWAYS going to be

too “busy” to make Avenging Force, no matter how long they

waited for him.

Rather than rewrite the script to better suit Norris’ personal

beliefs, the decision was made to film it instead with American

Ninja star Michael Dudikoff as Matt and Steve James as Larry, the

doomed black liberal Louisiana senatorial candidate targeted by

the right-wing extremists. Directorial duties were handed over to

Sam Firstenberg, who had helmed American Ninja, along with the

already mentioned Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and Ninja III:

The Domination, a film that bore zero connection to the two other

Cannon Ninja films beyond the appearance of co-star Sho Kosugi.

The 14-year age difference between Norris and Dudikoff

would appear to have necessitated some minor script changes. I’m

assuming that in the original script Matt is joined by his young

daughter and father rather than the sister and grandfather that

appear in the finished film. If I’m right about this, then it begs the

22

Issue 14, March 2015

The 14-year age difference

between Norris and Dudikoff would

appear to have necessitated some

minor script changes. I’m assuming

that in the original script Matt is

joined by his young daughter and

father rather than the sister and

grandfather that appear in the

finished film. If I’m right about this,

then it begs the obvious question:

Why didn’t they just change Matt’s

name at the same time and make it a

wholly original film?

Clearly the decision to not

market it as a sequel was made after it

was filmed. It’s easy to imagine that

this was to placate Norris, who was

not only working on the much more

expensive The Delta Force, but who

would also go on to make Braddock:

Missing in Action III (which he also

co-wrote) for Cannon a few years

later. Whatever the reason for this, it’s

status as a sequel would have likely

gone unnoticed were it not for online

genre fans noting the repeated use of

the Matt Hunter name.

But beyond its status as a

cinematic curiosity, how is it as an

actual film? Pretty cheesy, but in that

classic Cannon ‘80s action way that

has you rooting for it, rather than against it. It’s ultimately as

silly and cartoonish as Invasion U.S.A. is, but the change in

political direction gives it a novelty that other film lacks.

Firstenberg does a good job with the film’s many action set

pieces, but whiffs all the film’s emotional beats, which in the

hands of a more talented filmmaker could have been seriously

devastating.

Dudikoff, a male model who made his way into acting

through TV guest spots on shows like Happy Days, isn’t

anyone’s idea of a great actor, but as Matt he brings a humanity

to the character that Norris deliberately eschewed. This version

of the character can actually be hurt and he only barely survives

the Most Dangerous Game-style hunt he’s forced to endure in

order to save his sister.

One thing the two films do have in common is a stubborn

refusal to pass the Bechdel Test. Invasion U.S.A.’s only woman

character is a journalist who follows Norris around on his

adventures, but he barely acknowledges her existence and she

has zero impact on the plot, while in Avenging Force the two

female characters (Larry’s wife and Matt’s sister) only exist as

One thing the two films do have in

common is a stubborn refusal to

pass the Bechdel Test. Invasion

U.S.A.’s only woman character is a

journalist who follows Norris

around on his adventures, but he

barely acknowledges her existence

and she has zero impact on the

plot, while in Avenging Force the

two female characters (Larry’s wife

and Matt’s sister) only exist as plot

points to drive Matt on his mission

of vengeance. On that score, both

films fail pretty spectacularly.

The film ends with Hunter

warning the fifth and last surviving

member of the “Pentangle” secret

society that he has his eye on him,

promising another sequel that

never came. Avenging Force failed

to make the same impact at the box

office as Invasion had and

Dudikoff and co. were tasked with

more American Ninja movies

instead.

Never released on

DVD, Avenging Force appeared on

Blu-ray for the first time in 2014

and nowhere in the packaging is

the film’s connection to Invasion

U.S.A. ever mentioned. But it

doesn’t matter, because it stands

on its own, especially in its defiance of the prevailing political

attitudes of the genre of the time—the rare action film from that

period that owes more to Noam Chomsky than it does to Ayn Rand.

23

Issue 14, March 2015

Why Did No One Tell Me “Birdman” Is

a Self-Righteous Polemic?

Written by Russ Dobler | Images

courtesy of gossip-central.com and

New Regency Pictures

When I first heard about Birdman, the

directorial tour de force of critically-

acclaimed filmmaker Alejandro Gonzalez

Iñárritu, I was excited.

Admittedly, that was because I initially

hoped it would be a big screen adaptation

of the classic [adult swim] series, Harvey

Birdman, Attorney at Law, although I

wondered how Stephen Colbert would find

the time in his schedule to play the main

character’s green-skinned courtroom

nemesis, Reducto.

But you know what? Michael Keaton

as an aging actor, looking to recapture

glory after burning out on the superhero

role that made him famous? That sounds

fun, too. I was again naïve, sadly, as “fun”

would turn out to be the film’s main target.

Make no mistake, Birdman: Or (The

Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is a

technical and storytelling masterpiece, with

sly editing continually thrusting the

audience forward into appreciating great

acting performances from the

accomplished cast. But that audience isn’t

meant to be us. Birdman is a salve for the

serious artists that are threatened by us.

You wouldn’t have known that from

how the film was promoted. Just six days

before it hit theaters, the Birdman panel

was one of the most popular attractions at

October’s New York Comic Con. Trust me;

how the film was promoted. Just six days

before it hit theaters, the Birdman panel

was one of the most popular attractions at

October’s New York Comic Con. Trust me;

I waited in line for an hour and a half and

was turned away before I could even see

the door to the hall.

Fortunately, Screen Rant was there to

get the scoop. Much of Birdman’s plot was

kept understandably hush-hush, but

Michael Keaton and Ed Norton, who

played the film’s antagonist – and, at one

time, the Incredible Hulk – couldn’t help

but gush over the superhero genre in

general. Keaton boasted of his pride in

playing the first serious, silver screen

Batman, and Norton recounted his

childhood obsession with Frank Miller.

This shows some serious geek cred

that’s offset by director Iñárritu’s belief that

superhero movies are tantamount to

“cultural genocide.”

time, the Incredible Hulk – couldn’t help

but gush over the superhero genre in

general. Keaton boasted of his pride in

playing the first serious, silver screen

Batman, and Norton recounted his

childhood obsession with Frank Miller.

This shows some serious geek cred

that’s offset by director Iñárritu’s belief that

superhero movies are tantamount to

“cultural genocide.”

Everyone knows he said that, right? In

an interview with Deadline, dated just four

days after Birdman’s Comic Con panel,

Iñárritu remarked:

“I sometimes enjoy [superhero movies]

because they are basic and simple and go

well with popcorn. The problem is that

sometimes they purport to be profound,

based on some Greek mythological kind of

thing … They have been poison, this

cultural genocide, because the audience is

so overexposed to plot and explosions and

shit that doesn’t mean nothing about the

experience of being human.”

Perpetually oblivious, I wasn’t aware of

the comment before I finally

saw Birdman a month ago, swept as it was

back into theaters after a Best Picture

Academy Award victory that surprised

many. Nevertheless, the theme was hard

to miss.

24

Issue 14, March 2015

days after Birdman’s Comic Con panel,

Iñárritu remarked:

“I sometimes enjoy [superhero

movies] because they are basic

and simple and go well with

popcorn. The problem is that

sometimes they purport to be

profound, based on some Greek

mythological kind of thing … They

have been poison, this cultural

genocide, because the audience is

so overexposed to plot and

explosions and shit that doesn’t

mean nothing about the experience

of being human.”

Perpetually oblivious, I wasn’t aware of

the comment before I finally

Perpetually oblivious, I wasn’t aware of

the comment before I finally

saw Birdman a month ago, swept as it was

back into theaters after a Best Picture

Academy Award victory that surprised

many. Nevertheless, the theme was hard

to miss.

I wanted to believe the film delivered

equal jabs to comic nerds and drama

geeks. The petulant critic could easily

represent the stodgy establishment,

panning anything it doesn’t like before

even a viewing. When Keaton’s and

Norton’s characters engage in a silly

slapfight, a nearby stagehand stands as a

sensible observer, reminding us that those

crazy acting types often tussle over

nothing.

But in the end, the specter of the

Birdman character literally haunting the

protagonist is too obvious a bludgeon to

overlook, as it attempts to drag him back

down to an artistic mire that would again

But in the end, the specter of the

Birdman character literally haunting the

protagonist is too obvious a bludgeon to

overlook, as it attempts to drag him back

down to an artistic mire that would again

give him recognition, at the cost of his

soul. Keaton’s reconstructive surgery beak

puts the finishing touches on even-

handedness, as it feels like an entreaty to

actors to avoid superhero roles, because

that’s clearly how they’ll always remember

you, no matter what.

We get it. Superman isn’t Citizen

Kane. But it’s not Under Siege, either.

Superhero movies have become the new

action movies, and there will always be a

place for those. After a steady diet

of Schindler’s Lists, I’d bet even the most

hardened cinephile would long for

a Captain America. So when it’s time to

take a breather, do you want a “smart

blockbuster” like Winter

Soldier or…whatever the hell White House

“And then we reveal the whole thing’s bullshit!”

Photo from gossip-central.com

25

Issue 14, March 2015

hardened cinephile would long for

a Captain America. So when it’s time to

take a breather, do you want a “smart

blockbuster” like Winter Soldier or…

whatever the hell White House Down is?

Take your pick.

Ultimately it’s no mystery

why Birdman won the Oscar for Best

Picture. In the form of a well-constructed

film, Iñárritu told the Academy what it

already believed, that it’s time for these

tights-wearing ninnies to go. Much of the

Awards telecast this year seemed like an

anti-superhero PSA, although I have no

idea how Jack Black thinks he has the

right to talk.

All this time, I never realized I was

financing the enemy, just because I like

seeing colorful characters with cool

powers! I mean, superhero movies

wouldn’t exist if people just stopped buying

tickets to see them. Yes pulp readers,

we’re all to blame for the homogenization

and franchisery that plagues Hollywood

and stifles the last vestiges of creativity.

Soon we won’t even have quaint, heartfelt

pictures winning Best Animated Feature,

like Big Hero 6 did this year.

(Don’t tell the Academy it’s a

superhero property. Remember: ignorance

is bliss.)

Awards telecast this year seemed like an

anti-superhero PSA, although I have no

idea how Jack Black thinks he has the

right to talk.

All this time, I never realized I was

financing the enemy, just because I like

seeing colorful characters with cool

powers! I mean, superhero movies

wouldn’t exist if people just stopped buying

tickets to see them. Yes pulp readers,

we’re all to blame for the homogenization

and franchisery that plagues Hollywood

and stifles the last vestiges of creativity.

Soon we won’t even have quaint, heartfelt

pictures winning Best Animated Feature,

like Big Hero 6 did this year.

(Don’t tell the Academy it’s a

superhero property. Remember: ignorance

is bliss.)

and stifles the last vestiges of creativity.

Soon we won’t even have quaint, heartfelt

pictures winning Best Animated Feature,

like Big Hero 6 did this year.

(Don’t tell the Academy it’s a

superhero property. Remember: ignorance

is bliss.)

26

Issue 14, March 2015

Written by Kelsey Beier | Image

courtesy of Warner Bros. Is it possible to stay

young forever?

27

Issue 14, March 2015

I never used to worry about getting

old. All of the people that have ever

surrounded me were just there. They were

always present with their unique

personalities, ideas, shape, and size, but

age was never an issue.

My newly heightened sensitivity and

awareness of age has stemmed from

having a front row seat to the declining

health of the two closest eldest people in

my life currently—my parents. My dad

always says, “Don’t get old Kelsey,

whatever you do.”

I always admired my dad’s spirit and

youthfulness. It was contagious and I knew

this even from a young age. I can

remember my parents frequently

entertaining friends and family at our

house, drinking, playing guitar, and

dancing around the fire. As a child, I

remember thinking:

“My parents and their friends are so

loud! How can they expect me to go to

sleep when they’re yelling at each other

from across the house? Why are they all so

thirsty? I hope there’s still chocolate milk

left for me in the morning.”

Of course, this all makes sense to me

now. As my childhood friends and I grow

older, we’ve become the ones setting

examples for young onlookers, the kids of

the former kids. We are now the loud,

gregarious, thirsty adults.

It’s not the visual or aesthetic part of

aging that worries me. I understand that

getting wrinkles, grey hair, and sagging

skin is a natural part of aging and I’m okay

with that (or at least I hope to be when the

time comes). The part I’m actually scared

of is the thought of losing my youthful

spirit and zest for life. The same way I saw

both of my parents lose some of theirs.

I’m a strong believer that sometimes

naiveté is a virtue; that what we don’t

know can’t hurt us (but not to be confused

with ignorance). So, my question to you is

how do we grow up innocently, naively, in

a world that is constantly changing faster

than we know, but without growing up

know can’t hurt us (but not to be confused

with ignorance). So, my question to you is

how do we grow up innocently, naively, in

a world that is constantly changing faster

than we know, but without growing up

ignorant? I can’t give you a definitive

answer to this question, but I have a few

personal tips or guidelines that I intend to

follow along my path. After all, lists are so

in right now.

6 Tips for Staying Young at

Heart While Growing Old

Number 1: Hang out with children. Kids

will remind you about the important things

in life, like how to play outside and use

your imagination, how to get dirty, and

how to ask questions in order to make

sense of the world. (This will only remain

true provided that we stop treating kids

like little adults and giving them

electronics to distract them from using

their imaginations. Heaven forbid they

should think independently!)

Number 2: Connect with people. Real

people. In real life. As much as I support

technology, I also think we habitually take

advantage of its accessibility, to our own

detriment. I am guilty as charged for

owning a smart phone and perusing on it a

few times a day. I can also admit,

however, that I am not connecting with my

husband (who is most likely in the same

room as me) while I peruse this surreal

entity called the internet. Years from now,

when we’re both too weak to move, we

won’t really care about whose status says

what. But we will care about each other’s

real life thoughts and feelings. So, why

can’t we care now?

Number 3: Be active. I have never

been more grateful for my health than I am

now. I can walk, run, jump, and even get

myself out of bed independently (this is

saying a lot and could even be considered

Number 3: Be active. I have never been

more grateful for my health than I am now.

I can walk, run, jump, and even get myself

out of bed independently (this is saying a

lot and could even be considered bragging

in some circumstances). Be grateful for

what your amazing body can do, including

your mind. Any day that you’re feeling

well in mind and body is a great day.

Number 4: Enjoy. This is the hardest one.

I have a tendency to feel guilty almost any

time I’m doing something for myself and

not providing a service to someone else.

There are many things I enjoy: music,

writing, reading, nature, playing sports,

socializing, eating. I could continue, but

I’m already feeling too guilty sharing all of

my personal pleasures with people who

may care less. What I have discovered

recently is that there will never be a good

time or a “right” time to do anything.

Therefore, you have my permission to be

selfish when choosing to do what you

enjoy, whenever you choose to enjoy it.

You’re welcome.

Number 5: Don’t get old. Easier said than

done. Actually, this is the hardest one.

Don’t let the small things in life take over.

Don’t worry about what other people

think. Listen to your parents. Listen to

your grandparents. Appreciate your friends

and family who appreciate you back.

Repeat steps one to five.

(Oh, and one last thing for good

measure.) Number 6: Continue to

entertain friends and family with children

present. Show them what it means to

interact with people in a genuine setting.

Show them what it means to laugh, be

loud, tell stories, argue, and sing songs.

Show them how it isn’t age that

determines your youth, but your spirit and

zest for life.

28

Issue 14, March 2015

Thepulppress.com