SHRI MUN 2014

THURSDAY, 17TH APRIL, 2014

ISSUE II

THE MUN GAZETTE

The session started off slowly, with all the present parties voicing their opinion and solutions on the matter. The main solutions given were to legislate on discrimination against North-East Indians specifically, to enforce the existing anti-racism laws as well as changing the social attitude of the people by educating the coming generations. It seemed that our model Lok Sabha was facing the same problem as the actual Lok Sabha – discussions were dragging on without any concrete results. However, with the Congress undergoing internal conflict and ultimately removing Sonia Gandhi as the leader of the Congress by majority vote (who had earlier very intelligently stated that „we all know since the government and police is inefficient no one follows the law in this country‟), events took a new turn. On the side, amidst members of the Lok Sabha attacking each other and the BJP raising a resolution to pass a No-Confidence Motion against the ruling government, the members of the executive board were happily eating chocolates given to them by Rahul Gandhi, and a member of the BJP was intently reading The 39 Clues. By the end of the day, we had managed to duplicate the real Lok Sabha – maybe a bit too well.

The committee where leaders getting impeached is a daily occurrence

PAGE 2 THE MUN GAZETTE

The session started when the rather frustrated Chair decided to play Sit-Stand to wake up the lack-lustre delegates, making them uncomfortable as they exasperatedly tottered in their respective heels and suits. The GSL was opened and Turkey brought up Germany‟s anti-communist dream of „Weltpolitik‟ or a world empire, deeply hurting the sentiments of the delegate of Cuba. The crisis brought the world to the brink of nuclear war as USSR decided to ignore USA‟s blockade. After this, the delegate of USSR spiritedly stated that he was not afraid of nuclear war! Other highlights included a pop quiz by the Chair who seemed quite convinced no one beyond the first two rows had done any research; the delegate of Pakistan (forgetting that she was in a historical council) becoming psychic and informing the delegate of the USA that two days later USA would be attacking Russia; and on being asked for a citation, a certain delegate whipping out a Kindle which almost certainly did not exist back in 1962. In an unmoderated caucus, the IP found the delegates, led by three of the five permanent members, in a heated discussion about holiday plans, hot boys, and Che Guevara. The Chair provided his valuable input, stating that Florida sounded nice but, “OOPS! It‟s under nuclear threat!” The committee was adjourned with an informal compromise between USSR and USA which will be discussed to frame a resolution tomorrow.

Despite the chaos due to the lack of placards the session was a proactive one, including a moderated caucus passed by Germany, managing to overcome repeated interruptions by the chair. The delegates expressed their love for the executive board while some drew attention to their insatiable appetites and pangs of hunger through numerous messages. The delegate of Iran repeatedly tried to play the song “Babydoll” adding humour to the scenario. However, the smooth flow of the session was once again interrupted when the Chair announced that the UNEP had been hit with a crisis: a Russian vessel containing uranium enrichments headed for Iran (which had been last seen in the state of Homroz) had been attacked and the crew members, mostly Indians and Russians, had been killed. As time passed, information was received that Iraq and Saudi Arabia had been spotted sinking a vessel in the state of Homroz and that the US dome was spotted over the vessel. This led to heated debate b e t w e e n t h e delegates of the Russian Federation and USA (and India); however this had to be adjourned for discussion the next day.

This year‟s Human Rights Council truly upheld the „model‟ part of the Model United Nations. By that we mean that they were well behaved, followed procedure and gave good speeches, i.e, they were boring. What wasn’t boring, however, was the turn the committee took. A number of Islamic countries, with Sudan at the head, began the meeting with an advance against the LGBT community. Their advance was halted, however, by the United Kingdom, France, and China. The defence held strong through a number of moderated caucuses, which was when a new piece of news reached their ears. The Sudanese government declared that any relationship other than one between a „natural‟ man and woman was punishable by death. To add to the situation, militants had captured a number of lesbians and transgenders from Sudan. Tensions were rising when the delegates remembered that they had to catch their buses. Further updates will be delivered when received.

HRC: Where it’s not all rainbows and sunshine

The Cuban Missile Crisis: Standing on unfamiliar timelines

UNEP: The committee with the heart of green

The crisis faced by the General Assembly was the Syrian conflict between the Syrian government and the rebels. However, distraction appeared in the form of the delegate of Malaysia. The General Assembly Committee being the most dull, drab, and lethargic committee came alive when the delegate of Malaysia created an unusual stir by raising a Point of Order to ask for lunch instead of raising a Point of Privilege. The point of this committee was to arrive at a peaceful resolution, and to solve the dreadful civil war which would end up killing innumerable civillians. To prevent this disaster from becoming worse, many of the countries felt that military intervention would help Syria to stop this growing conflict. The countries for military intervention (such as the UK) were opposed by countries who firmly believed that no intervention is the course for peace. The USA also stated that if there was any human rights violation in Syria, immediate action would be taken.

PAGE 3 ISSUE II

This year, the International Press will have its eyes and ears everywhere during Shri MUN 2014. Our undercover correspondent is posing as a delegate in the General Assembly, and will be providing us with classified information of all the secret goings-on which the press is not usually privy to. The big auditorium was crammed with desks making it look extra small so that a bunch of kids could act as the United Nations General Assembly. The debate started with the committee choosing which agenda to discuss first and we ended up with the Syrian Crisis as the agenda to discuss. Debate was certainly gripping for the reason that everyone had done his or her research well, everyone knew what was going on and no one was helpless when it came to information. After about an hour of debate, there were six or seven continuous points of personal privilege for the delegates to be excused from committee. Seeing this, our Chair declared that all who wished to come back in five to seven minutes could leave. Thirty seconds later there were exactly twenty delegates left in the room to continue debate! Fast forwarding through the day we reach the lunch break. It was here that we found that the delegates of Estonia, even

after having written position papers on the agenda, were asking the delegation of Syria which continent their country lies in and the delegates of Malaysia had very seriously requested the executive board for help in finding the missing airplane MH-370! Coming back from lunch it was inevitable that some delegate would be late, and we were not disappointed! The delegates of Syria, Albania, France and the UAE were the entertaining ones who did ridiculous jigs to even more ridiculous songs. It was not long after this ridicule that the crisis struck. Chemical weapons on the loose can never spell good. When all that is happening in committee to address the problem is inconsequential points of information being brought up, it is impossible to come to a good, solid solution. Add an indefinite blame game followed by an unpleasant amount of verbal sup-port for each other, and the situation seems bleak. So, going back home, we all should research, analyse and bring forth the best debaters in ourselves because this crisis has potential to be exploited, which we did not do today. Day two should be lots of fun with intense debate and if we are lucky, a controversial bombing or two!

GA: The only constant in the ever changing MUN world

PAGE 4 THE MUN GAZETTE

In the midst of serious discussion on the issue of racism against North-East Indians: Member of Congress: The Congress has achieved a lot! I have a list of all the achievements of the Congress ever over here. Should I read them out? Lok Sabha Director: Member, are you feeling unwell? Meanwhile, members of the BJP dabble in the creative arts and write deep and meaningful poetry: Madhav you are a flower You have a lotta power You are a tru (sic) gem And your skirt has a hem You suck like a duck

And you like to eat muck. IP would recommend that Madhav does not continue eating muck. HSC Chair confidently trying to explain Point of Plea to Follow Up: ….So if your answer has not been questioned...(goes on for a good thirty seconds before realizing his mistake). HRC Chair to the delegate of Kazakhstan: Delegate, what is your country? HSC Chair (when delegates began crosstalking): Oh my god! Ham log chai ke liye aye hain nah? Speak one by one! Countries had finally come to a

compromise, presumably long before the Chair had expected them to. Cuba is in the middle of explaining the compromise when the Chair interrupts with an exclamation upon looking at his laptop. Cuba (assuming there is a new update): YOU HAVE TO KILL ME! NO! Mongolia (in GA): My country cannot give financial support to Syria as we are financially broke. Iran (in HRC): It‟s really cold. HRC Director: Should we vote on whether or not we should switch off the AC?